Jane Jones

Dec 28, 2012 Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'm really only giving this 4 stars for the writing. I mean, it was pretty good, I guess. I read it all in a day. But the plot was a little jumpy (like the ending, not really a spoiler but you should probably stop reading this if you don't want spoilers- when she made her decision after not having brought it up in a long time and with the indication made indirectly to the reader) and the main character, Jane, wasn't very clear on her beliefs (like not contacting people for decades and then sudde...more

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Nov 09, 2012 Lyn rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya

Sixteen-year-old (going on 90) Jane Jones is new at Port Lincoln High. Vampires move around a lot since they don't age. She has to survive high school again and again. There are a lot of vampires wherever Jane moves but their existence is kept secret from humans.

Jane wouldn't mind being a dork as much if her overly-protective mother didn't insist she try to blend in with the other cooler vampires. She's not likely to impress the cool vampires if they find out she's allergic to blood, so she only...more

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Nov 30, 2011 Kate rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2011

First Impression:
Nice twist on vampire lore. Cute cover. Seemed like it had quite a bit going for it. Was really hoping for some humor.

While Reading:
I really, really wanted to like Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. The summary seems to promise a funny, quirky take on the vampire lore which is different than most vampire offerings. But what I got, was a tale that seemed to try a little too hard.

After finishing the last page, my brain has been trying to sort out my feelings for Jane Jones. Part of...more

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Aug 23, 2011 Jennifer Rinehart added it

I finished this book weeks ago, which is a big sign that I didn't care for since it took me this long to get around to reviewing it. There isn't anything specific I can point to that would sum up my middling level of dissatisfaction, this was an okay book, it just wasn't very fun, exciting, interesting or thought provoking.

Jane Jones is a vampire. Her mom, dad and ten year old brother are vampires too. They were made undead during the great depression and ever since they move from town to town,...more I finished this book weeks ago, which is a big sign that I didn't care for since it took me this long to get around to reviewing it. There isn't anything specific I can point to that would sum up my middling level of dissatisfaction, this was an okay book, it just wasn't very fun, exciting, interesting or thought provoking.

Jane Jones is a vampire. Her mom, dad and ten year old brother are vampires too. They were made undead during the great depression and ever since they move from town to town, never staying long enough to arouse suspicion about why they don't age. Jane starts at a new High School in every town and her genius-like younger brother starts at a new middle school.

Being a vampire hasn't been all velvet jackets and gothic mansions. The Jones live in an old house, wear cheap clothes and spend their hard earned cash (dad works night shift at a cracker and cookie factory) on blood for Jane. Jane is special, she has an allergy to blood and the only kind she can drink is super, duper expensive and they buy it on the black market every few years and since it is so expensive, she can only have a thimbleful every few days. this means she is weak, paler than other vampires and has none of the strength and robust vitality of a vampire who feeds, heavily, on a regular basis.

All the other vampires in town don't like Jane, for various reasons, though they seemed to boil down to the fact that she has frizzy hair, no boobs and is poor.

The author makes such a point of describing Jane and her prepubescent (forever) boobless and plain state that when two boys at school start crushing on her, it was a bit surprising, but not terribly believable partly because Jane isn't very friendly and hardly ever speaks to anyone.

So, the real story is that Jane is trying to find a cure because she hates being a vampire. This is where the story hits a major snag that I call the pregnant-man-with-beard story arc, because it is totally unbelievable and the rest of the story hitches on the readers and the main characters believing and acting on this amazing storyline.

Jane finds a doctor in Eastern Europe who says he has a cure, but it costs a ridiculous amount of money (she does no research to find out if he's a total quack or a real researcher, just clips the article and get's excited). Super hot vampire guy says he will buy the cure, enough for two and then he and Jane plan to ride off into the sunrise together after taking it and turning human again.

Jane spares a few thoughts for her family, how she wont be able to be with them forever because now she'll be mortal, but she brushes it aside after she broods for a couple of pages.

There is some rather useless parts of the book where Jane and a school boy hang out and don't work on the joint history project they were assigned and some rather crude diarrhea jokes that fit into the story but didn't really add to it.

Huh, I guess, now that I think about it, I really didn't like this book.

So, the ending came with a bang as villains were revealed, vampires died and Jane found out a secret about her own transformation and the vampires who created her family (this part was interesting and it made the story a little better).

I guess I was hoping for a bigger problem and a more realistic love triangle.
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Aug 09, 2011 Sharon Essex rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I’m bored with YA vampires - they’re all overwrought and oversexed and about as menacing as a bowl of tapioca pudding. However Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. has breathed a bit of new life (so to speak) into the undead genre.

Jane is a fun character and narrates her tale in a sardonic voice. Despite being 15 for the past 75 years, she still hasn’t gotten the hang of it and remains awkward and unsure of herself. Obviously, Jane doesn’t fit in with the human kids at school, and because she’s blo...more

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Jun 30, 2011 Kelsey rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

Courtesy of Goodreads First reads.

(view spoiler)...more Courtesy of Goodreads First reads.

(view spoiler)[So one of the most obvious things to me about this book is that St. Onge definitely knows humor. One can tell this by her long list of credentials (mostly television) in the author bio. I believe that this plays a lot into the novel because of its episodic nature. The story could have easily been another 100 pages. This is not to say that the story felt rushed or underdeveloped in any way; Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. is a very tight, complete novel. There is just no superfluous story. It is all related, which made for a very quick read.

But back to that humor. Jane has this very sarcastic, ironic sense of humor (which is probably because of her being undead), and I found it really funny. Her narration is much more entertaining that way. Also, a vampire that isn't completely perfect (i.e. Jane wears glasses and is a bit plain) is appealing, even though I've seen it before. But what I hadn't seen was a vampire who was blood intolerant. That was pretty cool. It also made her sarcasm a bit more justified, and I just love sarcasm.

Jane's family was great. Even though the book was barely 200 pages, I really felt like I knew their interaction well. It felt real. I loved Jane's brother, even if the boy-genius thing is a little common now. I also loved how they were farmer's during the Dustbowl. That was really original, and I could see the disconnect Jane felt because of that.

There were a couple things that were a bit iffy. The true intentions of Jane's teacher were a bit obvious, but that's probably because this book is marketed to younger students than I am. Eli was great, but Timothy seemed a little flat. I don't know. It could be because he was barely in the book. I just didn't care about him. I also didn't understand why they had to keep moving around. Why not have the family stay in the woods somewhere and just be "farmers"? I mean, they don't need food. When they were humans they didn't have electricity. But that would have made for a really boring story. I just felt like they could have acknowledged that they didn't have to move around. (hide spoiler)]

Having said that, there were still a couple of plot twists that I hadn't anticipated. The book is good. I sense the start of a series. It's perfect for the target demographic: ninth and tenth graders looking for a summer read. It accomplishes the job. If you see it in the bookstore and consider buying it, go ahead.

Thanks for signing the book, Caissie! I loved the surprise. I'm also using all of the bookmarks (something I always need).

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May 25, 2011 Sara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. follows Jane a "teenage" vampire with a blood allergy. Jane was turned during the depression and has been moving every four years since with her parents and her younger bother. At Jane's new school she has to deal with a mysterious history teacher, an overexcited human history partner and a couple teen vampires all while dealing with her over protective mother and her blood alergy.

This book had so much promise. The title and description made it sound like comedy...more Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. follows Jane a "teenage" vampire with a blood allergy. Jane was turned during the depression and has been moving every four years since with her parents and her younger bother. At Jane's new school she has to deal with a mysterious history teacher, an overexcited human history partner and a couple teen vampires all while dealing with her over protective mother and her blood alergy.

This book had so much promise. The title and description made it sound like comedy gold. Unfortunately it wasn't written that way. The book while interesting enough to keep my attention had major issues. The most pressing issue is that the main character suffered from what I'd like to call To Stupid To Live Syndrome. In the first scene of the book the girl (who is actually ninety but apparently has learned nothing in those years) who is deathly allergic to blood feed off of a boy because of peer pressure (that's like a peanut allergic kid eating a PB sandwich because the other kids told him to) then she goes into shock until she gets her medicine and then acts upset when her mother balls her out for being an idiot. Later she takes a bite of a sandwich even though she knows that she can't eat food. She continues throughout the book to whine and act like a very immature teenager (which her mother totally encourages) even though she's apparently done the teenage thing for the last ninety years. I did find some things amusing but in order for a concept like this to work it needs to be clear that it's comedy and this book didn't do that. I did make it all the way through the book fairly quickly however so I can't knock it too hard. If you are obsessed with vampires and really like books about teens in high school you might enjoy it (I could see young middle schoolers enjoying it) I however just couldn't get over the stupidity of the main character.

Appropriateness: Except for a scene at the beginning of the book where the teen vampires are feasting on a drunk teen (so they can get drunk from his blood) the book is clean. There isn't much romance and no real violence. It is a quick and easy read that young teens will finish quickly. I recommend this book for teens aged 12-14.

If you're looking for a funny vampire novel I'd recommend Vampire Crush by A.M. Robinson instead.(less)

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Jul 29, 2011 Andrea rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jane Jones is a teenage vampire who has been alive for 90 years. She isn't pretty, doesn't sparkle, and she has an allergy to blood. Since I'm sick of the run-of-the-mill teenage-angst vampire novels, I thought I'd give this one a try since it seemed humorous. It's a short book so it was a one-day read. I agree with other reviewers that Jane seems to have learned nothing in her 90 years, and that made the book a little unbelieveable. From the way she acts, you would think she had been "turned" y...more

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Aug 17, 2012 Ken Kugler rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jane Jones: Worst Vampire Ever, by Caissie St. Onge is a surprisingly good story. When I first picked it up I thought that it was a comedy but no, it is a serious story. This is a sort of never coming of age story or a girl, Jane Jones, who died and was reborn during the depression in the dustbowl area. As with vampires, they don’t age so Jane and her brother and parents have to move every 3-4 years. Also Jane has a rare, for vampire problem. She is allergic to all blood except a very rare blood...more

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Jun 08, 2011 Megan B. rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, 3-stars

Jane Jones is a vampire and not a very good one at that seeing as she can’t drink blood or she will have an allergic reaction (not very pretty). She’s a self-proclaimed nerd with a pretty boring life (aside from the vampirism that is). Really, she’s just an ordinary misfit teenager going to high school time after time after time. Until one day she meets two boys: Eli a geeky, shy, but cute boy who is her partner in her American History class and Timothy, a suave, handsome, popular vampire boy wh...more Jane Jones is a vampire and not a very good one at that seeing as she can’t drink blood or she will have an allergic reaction (not very pretty). She’s a self-proclaimed nerd with a pretty boring life (aside from the vampirism that is). Really, she’s just an ordinary misfit teenager going to high school time after time after time. Until one day she meets two boys: Eli a geeky, shy, but cute boy who is her partner in her American History class and Timothy, a suave, handsome, popular vampire boy who apparently really likes her. Things get complicated when a mystery in the form of a teacher happens into Jane Jones’s life, and an article claiming a cure for vampirism has been found! What’s a vampire girl to do but investigate?

Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. Was a humors tale about a misfit teenage girl (though she’s really in her nineties, so old lady might be more accurate) navigating boys, high school, mean girls, family and mysteries. Jane was such a relatable character with a fresh and endearing voice. She was the type of character that reader’s can’t help but really like and root for. I didn't really care for Timothy as we didn't see him much in the book and he was a pretty one dimensional character, but Eli was adorable! It is refreshing to have the boy the main character falls in love/like with, not be swoon-worthy and ripped. The romance was skimpy and not very well developed but it sort of worked for the book. Any heavy romance would have been weird in the world of Jane Jones. They were no Edward and Bella, that’s for sure. Is that a good thing? A bad thing? I’ll let you decide (although I have to chip in my two cents. I’m a bit anti semi-abusive, extremely drama laden, I-would-rather-kill-myself-than-be-without-you, obsessive relationships. But that’s just me.)

Honestly, it is refreshing to read a vampire book and not have it be all dark, and brooding with a love triangle that goes on for several more books. There wasn’t any complicated back stories or any long winded explanations for vampirism. It was a very straight forward book. Overall, it wasn’t anything special but regardless still good. Caissie St. Onge wrote a great book for reading when you want to put your brain on hold. A definite summer read.
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May 10, 2011 Midnight Bloom rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I essentially took one look at the cover, flipped to the back of the novel to read the plot description and then instantly started reading it! I know dystopian is steadily taking over as the next big thing, but I still can't resist vampire novels... especially when it looks like I'll be getting some laughs in as well!

Contrary to popular belief, vampirism is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, there are rich, beautiful and powerful vampires out there but Jane Jones and her family are anythi...more I essentially took one look at the cover, flipped to the back of the novel to read the plot description and then instantly started reading it! I know dystopian is steadily taking over as the next big thing, but I still can't resist vampire novels... especially when it looks like I'll be getting some laughs in as well!

Contrary to popular belief, vampirism is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, there are rich, beautiful and powerful vampires out there but Jane Jones and her family are anything but. Her caring mother is overprotective at times; her father spends his days working at a factory struggling to earn enough money because he's never at the same job long enough to get a promotion; and her younger brother is much more smarter than his human age would ever tell.

As for Jane, herself? The title of "worst vampire ever" would definitely be a fitting description but her bubbling, fun personality should definitely count for something! Jane is extremely allergic to blood except one super rare type that's really expensive, so she can only drink minimal amounts at a time. She's always in a weak state, works harder than most in her school work, and definitely deserves a pat on the back in comfort for some of the embarrassing situations she finds herself in. Even though she's several decades old, she still very much acts and thinks like a human teenage girl!

The actual storyline and some of the characters, especially the two romantic interests Eli and Timothy, aren't as well-developed as I might have normally liked but instead of lingering too much on those thoughts... I kind of just went with it. It's not a novel to be taken too seriously, so I felt it was okay to sort of nod along and accept things as they came by. Timothy fits under the usual handsome, brooding and protective vampire category while Eli is so awkward at times, it's adorable! It was fun to see two polar opposite boys suddenly developing feelings for our dear old Jane.

Caissie St. Onge's debut novel offers a comedic take on the vampire genre in ways that will leave you uncontrollably smiling and rolling your eyes at the silliness! It's a fun read that will pass the time quickly and one that you'll easily find entertaining!(less)

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Aug 10, 2011 Aliza rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Jane Jones definitely is the "Worst. Vampire. Ever." She's blood intolerant for one and has to survive on an incredibly rare blood type that her blue collar family has to struggle to find and pay for. She's also, like the rest of us, surrounded by the growing teen vampire media craze that swears all teen vampires are rich, sexy vixens leading glamorous lives whereas Jane's existence is anything but.

Jane, the heroine of what could be a funny "alternative" vampire series poking fun at that teen v...more Jane Jones definitely is the "Worst. Vampire. Ever." She's blood intolerant for one and has to survive on an incredibly rare blood type that her blue collar family has to struggle to find and pay for. She's also, like the rest of us, surrounded by the growing teen vampire media craze that swears all teen vampires are rich, sexy vixens leading glamorous lives whereas Jane's existence is anything but.

Jane, the heroine of what could be a funny "alternative" vampire series poking fun at that teen vampire media craze, has an incredible sense of humor and wit. She's Juno if Juno had gotten bitten instead of pregnant and then been doomed to suffer being the high school outcast for, literally, ETERNITY.

Unfortunately, Jane is the only bright spot in this otherwise weak and incredibly uneven debut YA effort. All of the other characters, including boys--one's alive, one's undead, oooh!--in the typical teen romance love triangle, are flat, lifeless, underdeveloped characters. We really don't care whether or not she picks one boy over the other (no Team Edward or Team Jacob here!) because we know very little about them other than one has braces and blood that could kill her and the other is a Twilight reject. We don't know enough about them to understand why Jane, low self-esteem or not, should care or pick between either of them.

The dastardly villain is introduced slowly in a nice and mysteriously but too late in the game before we've already experienced too many of the inconsistent highs and lows of the books. The writer seems unable to balance the typical romantic suplot with the (should-be-more-interesting) subplot of the mysterious villain that is after Jane's family. Like many things, though the idea that Jane wants to find a cure for vampirism is introduced early in the book, it's lost and unevenly reintroduced under the weight of introducing the love triangle and giving us a clue into Jane's day-to-day tragically ETERNAL teenage life mired by catty bullies, low self-esteem and never-ending homework, which luckily Jane actually likes.

Also, while at first, Jane explaining the difference between her "real" vampire life and the media vampire life is cute and funny, when she's still pointing out the differences in the third half of the book, you're bored by the minutiae of the irrelevant details of her "real" vampire life and the growingly stilted way they're introduced between the all-over-the-place plot and often snappy or stupid (uneven, but better than the rest of the book) dialogue.

The book really deserves 2 stars but I gave it 3 because of Jane and because of her potential as a character. She really deserves better than the basic, underwritten and under-edited story built around her. With a tighter, more neatly woven plot and better developed cast, this book could have truly soared...instead of sinking into the reject pile of books trying to make money off the Twilight craze instead of trying to offer something different and special.

Definitely for preteen readers.(less)

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Jun 30, 2011 Danielle rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a YA novel with a decidedly different spin on the whole vampire craze. There's no weepy human girls lusting after vampires in this book. In this vampire world vampires coexist with humans, a fact that humans are mostly unaware of. Jane Jones and her family were turned during the Dust Bowl and despite it being 75ish years later are still coexisting as a family unit. It seems like their personalities are somewhat trapped at the age they were turned as Jane still acts like a teenager despit...more

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May 26, 2011 Destiny Philipose rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was initially drawn to this book by its cute, bright pink cover, and title. Then I read the synopsis and it sounded so funny. Can you imagine a vampire stuck in an eternally awkward tween phase, from the wrong side of the tracks, and to make things worse, has a blood allergy? I HAD to have this book!

Caissie St. Onge did not disappoint. The hilarity begins from page one and does not cease. Meet Jane Jones. The Worst. Vampire. Ever. Jane has been battling a series of undead lifetimes of being le...more

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Jun 30, 2011 Kathy Martin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jane Jones is not your typical vampire. She is perpetually sixteen and stuck in her sophomore year of high school. Her parents and younger brother are also vampires. They were turned by neighbors during the Depression. But Jane has an additional problem. She is blood-intolerant - allergic to blood. She lives on a special, very rare and expensive blood. Her father works nights in a factory to pay the rent and the electric bill and buy Jane's expensive blood. They aren't rich; they aren't sparkly....more

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Sep 19, 2011 StorySnoops rated it 3 of 5 stars

Jane Jones might be just a regular book about a slightly awkward girl navigating high school life filled with mean girls, nerdy boys, and a mysterious boy who seems to like Jane out of the blue... except for the fact that Jane is also a vampire! Young teens will enjoy the book on both levels. The story offers humor, intrigue, amateur sleuthing, and high school social drama. Sixteen-year-old Jane suffers from low self esteem because she is plain and somewhat anemic-looking due to her blood allerg...more

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Apr 27, 2011 Michelle rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011-dac

I'm really mixed about this book. Given the title, I really wanted to like it, and it did kind of redeem itself in the end.

Jane Jones is nothing like the sparkly, uber-rich vampires we've all become familiar with. I mean, she's allergic to most blood and has to carry around the vampire equivalent of an epi-pen! There's the usual teenage angst, but it was getting so whiny I almost stopped reading. But I stuck it out.

My biggest gripe is in the vampire lore. I guess I was irritated mainly because t...more

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Sep 29, 2012 K.R. Morrison added it

Best. YA. Vampire. Book. Ever. Or at least of what I've read. The story flowed smoothly, and the characters were well-developed. Jane Jones could be any high-school outsider. She just happens to be a vampire--a blood-intolerant vampire. Going from a nobody to someone being fought over is every outsider's dream. But the price she has to pay is pretty great. There is a wonderful twist to this story that was not hinted at in the synopsis, and was VERY surprising.

Family plays a central role in this...more

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May 24, 2011 Paul rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really liked this non stop read. Fifteen year old Jane Jones became a vampire during the dust bowl era - For a reason later explained,
she is highly allergic to normal blood.
The family, who were all made vampires at the same time are not part of the vampire community by choice.
Because the family never ages they move every few years.
Jane has been living now for about 90 years as a high school Sophomore.
Her 10 year old brother, Zachary is working on a cure for her allergy.
A teacher holds the ke...more

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May 20, 2011 Angie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, reviewed, humor, fiction, 4-stars

As a general rule, I don't generally read YA or most things vampire related. I follow the author on twitter (@caissie) and knew that if her tweets never failed to amuse me, her book simply had to have the same magic. I'm happy to report it did.

Someone recommended the House of Night series to me and I'm still not sure why. The lead character was poorly written, the witty repartee between characters was so bad and it hit on every annoying high school cliche you can think of.

This book? Its the ex...more

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Oct 18, 2011 Sandy rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ppya11, paranormal

Jane Jones is not her real name. Her whole family was turned into vampires during the Dust Bowl so they wouldn't starve to death and die during the depression, and now they move around every 4 years so Jane and her younger brother can endlessly repeat the same 4 years of school. On top of it all, Jane has a blood allergy and can only drink a super rare type. Despite this, the hottest vampire in school seems to have a thing for her, as does this nice, geeky human boy. Now Jane has a lead on a cur...more

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Nov 01, 2011 Aurora Celeste rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2011, own

This was one of the cutest books I have read this year. I love the thought of a dorky, un-conventionally-gorgeous vampire with a blood allergy. Jane is loveable and relatable and she makes me root for her every step of the plot. Zachary is a wonderful character as well, somehow managing to capture the wisdom of the immortal along with the permanent immature mentality of a ten year old. St. Onge has a gift with comedy, and Jane’s voice rings true even through her predicaments. From the amusing pr...more

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Dec 10, 2011 Shelley rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Winter Warmers Event ~ Shelley Workinger picks Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge:
http://themidnightreaders.blogspot.co...

I live for humor. I need it in my friends, movies, books, and my own work, even though my “Solid” series isn't a comedy. In fact, my most treasured reader accolades are those that say what a great, sarcastic heroine Clio is. And I couldn't let her be the only one: Jack is adorably witty; Miranda's comebacks aren't usually cute, but they are clever; Garrett can always...more Winter Warmers Event ~ Shelley Workinger picks Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge:
http://themidnightreaders.blogspot.co...

I live for humor. I need it in my friends, movies, books, and my own work, even though my “Solid” series isn't a comedy. In fact, my most treasured reader accolades are those that say what a great, sarcastic heroine Clio is. And I couldn't let her be the only one: Jack is adorably witty; Miranda's comebacks aren't usually cute, but they are clever; Garrett can always be counted on for some comic relief; even Bliss gets a chance or two per book to say something that gets a laugh.

So I got a good feeling about Worst. Vampire. Ever. when I saw the title, then Caissie St. Onge's bio really sold me. She told me she's a funny girl (her credits include writing for David Letterman and Rosie O'Donnell's shows) then showed me (she's also worked for “a bunch of shows you probably haven't heard of, but that's okay”) and I was at the counter faster than you can say “Ha, ha, ha.” ;)

The book opens with Miss Worst Vampire Ever herself Jane Jones surviving, “an excruciating social event, a toxic blood reaction, and near death by parental mortification.” It can only go up from there for Jane, right? Wrong actually. ;)

It only makes sense, after all, that since Jane's “nothing like [the vampires] you read about in books” - not beautiful, not rich, not “sparkling” in any sense of the word, and even blood - intolerant - that shes looking for a cure for vampirism. And along the blood-low brick road this quest takes her on, she has to deal with characters like Astrid, the mean vamp-girl who peer-pressures Jane into chugging from a drunk-and-glamoured classmate; Timothy, the hot guy with the indistinguishable lets-be-friends or Im-laughing-at-you-and-not-with-you smile; Ms. Smithburg, the teacher Jane used to love but who's now acting the wrong kind of cool toward her; and Eli, the newly-assigned history partner who just sent Jane her first (and unwanted) Facebook friend request.

Will Jane find the cure? Will it work? Will she accept that Friend request? Will you laugh?
Can't say. Don't know. Maybe. Absolutely.
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May 29, 2011 Michele Hush rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Caissie St. Onge is a Twitter friend who occasionally blogs about her life. Her stories are hypnotic - funny, tender, sometimes heartbreaking. When I heard she had written a youth-market book I knew I had to read it. It's great. Imagine being an awkward teenager again. Now imagine being an awkward teenager forever. That's the story of young vampire Jane Jones, a great and goofy kid who takes her mordant humor about her situation into Nancy Drew country. The book is full of insight and laughs, ju...more

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Oct 13, 2011 Alisha rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: own

Let me start by saying that I love vampire novels. I enjoyed reading Anne Rice's Vampires Chronicles, liked reading the Twilight Saga through I thought sparkling was unnecessary for the vampires, but it's not my book so it's okay. But this book was a big disappointment for me. The cover was brightly colored, which I didn't mind. But the story in its self, was awkward to me. I give the author props for trying a different twist to vampire novels, but I didn't really like it as much as I thought I...more

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Nov 20, 2011 Rhianna rated it 2 of 5 stars

Should NOT be compared to Jay, Fantaskey, or Brewer!

Jane Jones is just your average teenaged vampire with over-protective parents and a blood-intolerance. For no apparent reason she's suddenly receiving the attentions of handsome vampire Timothy and awkward human Eli. All she really wants is to be human again, even if it means leaving her parents and younger brother behind. Meanwhile she has to juggle schoolwork and problematic peers.

I chose this book because of the comparison to one of my favo...more

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Jul 08, 2011 Alexia561 rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: arcs, amazon-vine, young-adult, fantasy

The synopsis of this one caught my eye and it sounded different enough that I thought I'd give it a chance. Was a little disappointing, but still an okay read.

Jane's family was turned during the 1930s and are not independently wealthy, suave, or sophisticated. Nice change of pace, as most vampires sound too good to be true. I always wondered why vampires had so much money at their disposal. Even with their long lives, you still have to have money in order to benefit from all that lovely compoun...more

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Aug 29, 2011 Cathy Keaton rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2011, reviewed, faves

How do I begin to write about how funny and clever this little novel was? I'm going to have to do my best. Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. sounded like a hilarious title, and, although not a raucous knee-slapper ever other line, it was still overall witty and full of comedic, lovable characters that shaped it into a fun, fast read. I found myself enjoying this title so much, I wanted the judge at the hearing I had to attend in support of my sister to be quiet so I could concentrate on it!

This...more How do I begin to write about how funny and clever this little novel was? I'm going to have to do my best. Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. sounded like a hilarious title, and, although not a raucous knee-slapper ever other line, it was still overall witty and full of comedic, lovable characters that shaped it into a fun, fast read. I found myself enjoying this title so much, I wanted the judge at the hearing I had to attend in support of my sister to be quiet so I could concentrate on it!

This story's true strength was its characters. Jane was sarcastic in order to deal with living life as a perpetually rejected teenager with no hope of ever growing out of her eternal awkward phase. Her mother was hysterical and overprotective, and I found myself feeling sorry for Jane for being bound to her as her child, and treated like one, forever. That is not fun, especially when you've been around for 90-some-odd years, but it was easy to laugh about it here. Even her little genius, perpetually 10-year-old brother, Zachary, was adorable while still irritating her all the time.

Astrid filled the role of the high school mean girl, but in this case, she happened to be a vampire, too, and she loved to make Jane's life miserable. She came off as more hilarious than cliché, which was a nice surprise.

But, my favorite character had to be Timothy, the old calligraphy-writing vampire who looked like a 17-year-old pin-up with a “perfect pouty pout”. At first, he just talked like any other funny guy his apparent age, but when he started talking like a centuries-old vampire who lives in a castle on a nearby hill, I started rolling on the floor. That was genius comedy, and Jane's reaction to it was hilarious:

“I unfolded the second sheet [of Timothy's letter], expecting more of Timothy's calligraphy saying something along the lines of, 'Dearest Jane, I am still awaiting your answer. Please remit forthwith. Ceaselessly, Timothy.'” - from page 164

What I wasn't expecting was a great plot that had quite a fitting ending, albeit abrupt, tying up all loose ends and making Jane out to be the deserved heroine of her own story. This was such a great book to spend a day reading. I highly recommend it to those who not only love vampire lore, but the occasional story that pokes fun at it a bit, while also making fun of the types of real life people we see everyday. (less)

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Jul 21, 2011 Stacey B. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: amazon-vine, arc, i-own, read-2011, reviewed, dac-2011

OVERALL IMPRESSION: This was a cute book. I was afraid that it was going to be a little too cutesy with too much high school drama, but that wasn't the case at all. The book has the typical story line of the girl desperately wanting to fit in with the 'cool' crowd, but there's a twist that vampires are involved. I think this book is great for anyone who wants to read a quick book that is actually a good book as well.

CHARACTERS: The main character of the book is Jane. She is a vampire, but she ha...more

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Sep 10, 2011 Melissa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya-paranormal-romance

This book took awhile to really take off but once it did it pulled me in. This is not a heart pounding teen vampire drama. It's funny and had me laughing at so many funny one liners. A good example of what you'll get in the book is this line:"Leave it to me to be the first vampire in history to trip on her shoelace and stake herself through the heart". This was so different from any of the other vampire books I have read. I never found myself comparing this book or that book to this one, which w...more

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