I Am My Mother's Daughter
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I Am My Mother's Daughter

3.54 of 5 stars 3.54  ·  rating details  ·  114 ratings  ·  29 reviews
Making up with mother is no easy business. In Iris Krasnow's iI Am My Mother's Daughter,/i the experience begins at home: She writes about reconciling as an adult with her difficult, strongly opinionated 84-year-old mother. Krasnow draws on her own experiences and those of other baby-boomer women to show that it is never too late to ditch painful baggage and learn to love...more
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Published August 1st 2007 by Basic Books (first published April 10th 2006)
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May
At the beginning of the book I found the case histories too simplistic. It seemed the women were painting their mothers as either all good or all bad. The further I read, the more complex and interesting the women's assessments of their mothers became. As the dimension of the mothers deepened they became more sympathetic characters making the book more enjoyable and helpful.
Monica
I think I got what I needed out of it. " So more and more, I let my mother "be," as the Buddhists tell us to do; I flow with the currents of the river instead of flailing against them. She will not change. The only change I have the power to control, I am realizing, is how I react to her." (p.3)This will stick with me for sure. I also thought this was really good, "No mother is the Great Goddess who is always good. Each of us is just an ordinary woman who tries to be as good as she can be." -Psy...more
Lisa
A very informative book,not crazy about the format
Tami
The author intertwines her relationship with her mom with dozens of others. What she's learned and observed from her friends and acquaintances. I didn't particularly care for this style of writing. It is easy to read but for some reason, something was missing for me.

Reading about other women's crazy relationships with their mothers didn't make me feel any better about my own or what I can do to improve it. I totally agree that we need to make peace and forgive one another but I already knew that...more
Phase Reading
This is not a how-to book, there are no instructions. Instead there are stories from daughters mainly in their 50s who have had some sort of turbulent relationship with their mothers since the beginning. Their stories are mostly about last minute reconciliations, but not all of them are fully successful, they just soften the hard edges "before it's too late".
There are ordinary women in here but some with famous or high profile mothers. The common theme seems to be that the mothers themselves we...more
Kate Woods Walker
This book deserves a place alongside My Mother, My Self by Nancy Friday, (one of several books the author cites, by the way), as a must-have for any daughter in a conflicted relationship with her mother. And after all, that's most of us, isn't it?

There's no mistaking where Iris Krasnow is heading. With a subtitle like Making Peace With Mom Before It's Too Late, there can be little doubt. But she gets to her often-tearjerking, unabashedly sentimental conclusions with fine writing, sensitive inter...more
Kirstin
I read her book, Surrendering to Motherhood, and really liked her writing style and journalistic way of interviewing a broad spectrum of daughters. So, when I came across this book, I was intrigued. The question that resonated with me is, "What would you tell your mother if you could tell her anything? Why wait?" Considering there's a good chance of my mom living into her 90's(as did her parents), and maybe longer, we still have another 15+ years together here on earth. What will that look like?...more
Jill
Nov 13, 2008 Jill rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all mothers and daughters
Shelves: nonfiction
This book is useful for anyone who has any issues with their mother -- whether your mother is actually abusive or neglectful in some way, or whether she's overall a good woman who just manages to frequently push your buttons (like mine!). Iris Krasnow emphasizes the importance of accepting your mother for who she is and living in the present so that you don't hold on to self-destructive anger and/or blame. This book is a reminder that we are all products of our mothers, who in turn are all produ...more
Edbdme2
This book discusses the mothers of several women with various backgrounds. Each has a different relationship with their mother and some were able to reconcile with the mothers before their death. Others were able to understand the reasons or the life of their mother and learned to forgive, if not forget. Very interesting and makes one really see what made their mothers what they were.
Stacey Lynn
This book was very insightful with stories coming from women of all different situations. If I got anything from this book, it is the idea of learning to accept people as they are, learn to let go, forgive, and to hold our living loved ones dear. Its the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Heather
I just started this book. My mother is going to be 76 in May, and I've made a lot of headway in our relationship over the past few years. This book is reflective of many things I've aleady learned, but it is adding so much more. What a blessing.
Vanessa Zagari
Oct 05, 2007 Vanessa Zagari rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: any daughter
This was a very insightful book and really makes you think about your relationship with your mother. It also makes you think about the future when your mother is no longer here. Some women shared some very touching stories.
Serena
Promotes a lot of reflection and soul-searching.
Although I don't agree with everything she said, I appreciated her insights and opinions on the mother-daughter relationship and how it can be improved.
Suzanne M.
Reading about several other women's mother-daughter relationship was very helpful to me. I helped me put my situation into perspective and be grateful.
Jenna
Highly recommended to any woman with a mother. Seriously, that broad. I've considered lending out my copy, but am afraid I won't get it back.
Lori
Yeah, yeah. I get it, but hearing these women's stories didn't exactly motivate me. Not sure I'll get to a place of acceptance and love.
Susannah
considering the fact that i wept through most of this book, i would say it was what i needed to read.
Michelle
Sep 30, 2009 Michelle is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
slowly but surely getting thru...hard to read anything else but college books right now!
Leila T.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Clarice
There's a poetry to her words sometimes that really speaks to me. But this book seemed to be a bit repetitive.
Highflyingfool
I thought this was a self-help type of book, but it ended up just being more of entertaining stories with no clue as to conflict resolution or how to deal with moms that mean well, but sometimes overstep their bounds or speak unkindly unintentionally. I was flabberghasted on how many stories focused on women who chose the path of lesbianism. I just couldn't really relate.
Jessica Green
This wasn't the book I'd wanted. I wanted something I could read along with my mother. I also would have preferred something more scholarly and less anecdotal (and less about mothers dying!). Oh well. It was interesting, I did learn things I need to know, and I found another mother-book through Krasnow's references that may be more to my liking.
Fanda VIXXIO
Dalam terbitan Bahasa Indo-nya, judul berubah jadi: Whoever You Are, I Love U, Mom. Merangkum pengalaman 116 wanita menghadapi ibu mereka, bagaimana perjuangan mereka yang merasa disiksa oleh ibu mereka, berbalik mengasihi saat ibu mereka beranjak tua. Bagaimanapun, kasih antara ibu dan anak perempuan sangat kokoh.
Donna
I really enjoyed this book. It shows how mothers and daughters need to be there for each other and to embrace each day that we have together. I believe that I made peace and enjoyed all her last days with my own mom. All mothers and daughters should read this at some point in their life.
Jessica
I didn't actually finish this book. It was okay, but I got her point from the beginning and then got bored with the repetition. Basically, forgive your mom for not being perfect and accept her as she is. Could have been summed up in a paragraph instead of over and over again.
Mandi
To be honest, I couldn't bring myself to read the whole book. I gave up after just over 100 of the 160 pages. What I did get out of it was that my relationship with my mom is normal, not dysfunctional. It's just right.
Didi Rechele
Guilt trip take the high road blah blah babble babble - didn't work for me and honestly I thought the case histories were ridiculous compared to my own and many others I know "real" abuse what a load
Kelly
After getting past the "all women are miserable if they are stay-at-home moms" the book was really good. All women should read it, especially those with mother issues.
Sheila
This was a great book for daughters that do not get along or are having a spat with their mothers. Really was an eye-opener! Im getting my mom to read this book next!
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Iris Krasnow was born and raised in Oak Park, Illinois. A graduate of Stanford University, she became the fashion writer for the Dallas Times Herald, then moved to United Press International in Washington, D.C. for the position of national feature writer. In her several years at UPI, Krasnow specialized in lifestyle stories and celebrity profiles, including Yoko Ono, Billy Graham, Ted Kennedy, Eli...more
More about Iris Krasnow...
The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married Surrendering to Motherhood: Losing Your Mind, Finding Your Soul Surrendering to Marriage Sex After . . .: Women Share How Intimacy Changes as Life Changes Surrendering to Yourself

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