Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter

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Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter

by Jennifer Grant (Goodreads Author)

4.08 of 5 stars 4.08 · rating details · 87 ratings · 32 reviews

A Stirring Memoir on Parenthood and the Invisible Threads that Bind Us to Those We Are Meant to Love

The obstacles, surprises, and moments of grace that Jennifer Grant experienced, working through the adoption process to bring home her daughter from Guatemala, forever changed her life.

"Love You More" tells Grant's deeply personal story of adopting her daughter, Mia. The pro...more

Paperback, 224 pages

Published August 9th 2011 by Thomas Nelson Publishers

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May 11, 2011 Mandy rated it 4 of 5 stars

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Jan 02, 2013 Cham Cuartero rated it 4 of 5 stars

Months ago, I wrote about how I feel about adopted children, or adoption in general. It was one of those afternoons when the topic just drifted into my mind and I thought about what I would do if I found out that I was adopted. And then I let the topic go.

Until I came across Jennifer's story...

Love You More tells about the journey of a family towards finding and keeping a new member of their home through an international adoption. Told from the point of view of the Mom, Jennifer, it chronicles t...more Months ago, I wrote about how I feel about adopted children, or adoption in general. It was one of those afternoons when the topic just drifted into my mind and I thought about what I would do if I found out that I was adopted. And then I let the topic go.

Until I came across Jennifer's story...

Love You More tells about the journey of a family towards finding and keeping a new member of their home through an international adoption. Told from the point of view of the Mom, Jennifer, it chronicles the tedious process of adoption which they had to go through to have their little girl, Mia - from their pre-Mia lives, the spark of desire to adopt, enduring the long wait, Mia's homecoming, and of course, the adjustment period of having another angel in their family.

The book touched me in ways an ordinary true-to-life story cannot do. I have also thought of adopting a little one , before or after I give birth to our own little one, but this book gave me a new perspective on adoption. I never imagined how long and complicated the process is, not to mention my surprise when I learned that there actually are "anti-adoption" groups.

Love You More gave me fresh thoughts on motherhood, which I believe applies however a baby comes into your family - by birth or adoption. Motherhood, or parenthood in general is absolutely not a small thing. A person should expect a major change in his or her life should he or she decide to have a child. As for adoption, the fear of rejection and doubts of acceptance from family, friends, and the community makes it more complicated.

I was also amazed by Jennifer's unwavering Faith all throughout the story. There were several trying times for her and her family, threatening to ruin their beautiful plans but her story proves that if something is in God's will for you, nothing can ever stop it from happening. I couldn't help but share their excitement and anticipation for Mia's arrival! One thing's for sure and I'll be quoting a line from the book:

Opening yourself to an orphaned child may not save the world, but it might save one precious life.
And the miracle is that the life you save may be your own.

Well, I was just lucky to get the chance to read about their story, but I sure feel very much blessed and enlightened after reading it.

Thank you BookSneeze® for this wonderful opportunity.(less)

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May 25, 2012 Su rated it 3 of 5 stars

Grant's Christianity and her certainty that God "meant" for her to adopt her daughter lends this memoir a perky tone that overshadows her general awareness of complications and issues in international adoption. Her insight is welcome, her writing generally pretty good (though she jumps off into some disjoined digressions from time to time), but something about the tone made me uncomfortable. She sees it as part of a divine plan that she adopt her Guatemalan daughter, but that of course begs many...more Grant's Christianity and her certainty that God "meant" for her to adopt her daughter lends this memoir a perky tone that overshadows her general awareness of complications and issues in international adoption. Her insight is welcome, her writing generally pretty good (though she jumps off into some disjoined digressions from time to time), but something about the tone made me uncomfortable. She sees it as part of a divine plan that she adopt her Guatemalan daughter, but that of course begs many questions about God's intent in a world where the suffering of children in commonplace--and is even required in order for people like Grant (and my own family) to connect with the children they will raise.

An example of the tone is in a scene where she is touched by a "divine whisper" while watching some babies being baptized, that tells her that she will be up there with another baby someday:

"In that moment," she writes, "a feeling of peace wrapped itself around me and a few things seemed certain and clear. I knew that the baby who would come into our family would not come to us the way our three older children had.... This baby would be born to another woman. The pages of this woman's life story would turn and bring her to the heartbreaking moment of choosing to place her child in another person's care. This baby--her baby--would be no less, and no more, my own than my other children were."

Although she writes in other places about her concern about poverty, and about conditions in countries that are sources for Americans to adopt children, passages like this where she is suffused with peace even while contemplating the birthmother's heartbreak made me very uncomfortable--indeed, this moment of knowledge, of hearing a divine message, comes just after the congregation has heard again about the release of the Israelites from bondage in Egypt, and in more than one place Grant describes the adoption of her daughter as a kind of rescue, as a release, indeed as a direct response to the poverty in Guatemala. Although she does not go so far as some in the Christian adoption movement do, who see international adoption as a way to (among other things) bring little souls to Christ, she is convinced that her daughter's adoption is a Christian act of charity and mercy. For me, this is too rosy a picture of international adoption, and gives her and her husband too much credit for goodness.(less)

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Apr 16, 2012 Emily Rachelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Grant's writing style lets you see into her life and the journey from a New York City newlywed to a mother of four and an adoption non-expert. She speaks to you as if to her best friend and shares the true emotions and complications hiding in the world of adoption. When I received the book, I feared it would be merely a how-to or tip book for prospective adoptive parents. Now, though, I can with certainty say that it was nothing of the kind.

This is not a boring, factual 'everything you need to k...more Grant's writing style lets you see into her life and the journey from a New York City newlywed to a mother of four and an adoption non-expert. She speaks to you as if to her best friend and shares the true emotions and complications hiding in the world of adoption. When I received the book, I feared it would be merely a how-to or tip book for prospective adoptive parents. Now, though, I can with certainty say that it was nothing of the kind.

This is not a boring, factual 'everything you need to know about adoption' book. Instead, it is a honest, personal 'this is how it went for us' journal. The story jumps from memories before the adoption process began to a problem with red tape and back to their first meeting with their daughter, but the transitions are surprisingly smooth and the writing is usually easy to follow and connect with.

There are a few areas where the story pauses to share bits of information - about special needs children, when it's best not to adopt, and the truth about HIV, to name a few. Most of this was important to the Grants' story and easy to read through, but one sentence jumped out at me. Page 49 has some thoughts from another adoptive mother:

"Sometimes people remark that her girls are fortunate that she chose them. 'I get fired up about this because... all children are chosen," Pam said. 'Abortion and birth control are our rights; people can choose them.'"

I am a firm pro-lifer. I read this part several times, trying to pass over it and finish the book, but it was like my eyes were super-glued to that sentence. Abortion is not a right; it may currently be a choice in more parts of the country than I'd like, but that doesn't make it a human right. Murder is never a right.

That said, I do have to point out that page 77 says many women believe abortion is not an ethical choice. It seems the author never set out her own opinion; just laid out what she knew to be others' thoughts. But page 49 still grabbed me, and it lowered the book's value just a little in my opinion.

I give this book 3.5 stars.

I received this book for free through BookSneeze in exchange for this review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own(less)

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Nov 19, 2011 Kathy Robbins rated it 4 of 5 stars

Love You More is a new book out about one family’s journey into adopting a child from another country. A story about life in a new marriage begins the narrative. The true story continues with the introduction of children being born. Finally, this family reaches a decision point about adopting their last child.

Mia, a Guatemalan baby, was adopted by Jennifer and her husband David in a long and painstaking process. But they didn’t blindly dive in to this journey. They began with a lot of research,...more Love You More is a new book out about one family’s journey into adopting a child from another country. A story about life in a new marriage begins the narrative. The true story continues with the introduction of children being born. Finally, this family reaches a decision point about adopting their last child.

Mia, a Guatemalan baby, was adopted by Jennifer and her husband David in a long and painstaking process. But they didn’t blindly dive in to this journey. They began with a lot of research, and did not move forward until they knew a lot about what to expect.

Part of the decision process is examined in Chapter 7, entitled “Adoption: A Crime, a Necessary Evil, or a Miracle?” This chapter explores the pros and cons of adoption, and addresses contemporary attitudes of society toward blended families.

Jennifer travels from the decision point to the actual adoption event. She invites everyone to share each step with her. She tells what happened upon Mia’s arrival home, describing this as a honeymoon period, complete with the natural exploration that occurs during such a period. Then, she honestly portrays the resulting difficulties that all parents experience with any child.

Peppered throughout the story are anecdotes of the reaction of others to seeing a blended family.

She completes the package by providing the following resources at the end of the book: adoption resources, humanitarian resources, books about adoption, children's books about adoption, and a complete bibliography for the material that she has referenced throughout the book. She even includes discussion questions at the end to both facilitate the exploration of the subject in a book club setting, and to assist potential adoptive parents with questions to consider.

Love You More is a must-read for anyone who has adopted a child, or is considering adopting a child. It is a must-read for the rest of us to increase our understanding of these families.

Jennifer Grant brilliantly weaves a memoir that tells a tale of love, doubt, anxiety, patience, impatience and many other emotions as her family inches closer to the finalization of the adoption process. Then she seals the tapestry with details about life after the adoption.

Her wonderful writing, along with her very honest biographical approach will keep this book around for a very long time. I predict it will become the new handbook for adoptive parents.

198 pages
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Sep 03, 2011 Ramona rated it 4 of 5 stars

“Love You More, The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter” is about Jennifer Grant’s journey of adopting her daughter Mia. Even though Jennifer and her husband, David had three children, Jennifer felt inspired to have another child. Starting with Divine inspiration to the actual moment of bringing the child home to live in the US, Grant fits together a wonderful story by sharing the highs and lows of the adoption process.

A few key points of the book that stood out to me:

The author shares a bri...more

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Aug 27, 2011 Ashley Deniz rated it 3 of 5 stars

I come at this book from a very different perspective than most- I am not an adoptive parent, instead I am a birthmother. I am also a social worker with experience in the foster care system in this country. This is a unique and sometimes perilous point of view to have when starting single sotry point of view novels. I am not sure what I was expecting when I started this book but it was a lovely family story. I enjoyed getting to hear the perspective of an adoptive mother, especially one who is g...more

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Jul 27, 2011 K. L. rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: parents, people considering adoption

Recommended to K. by: friends

I loved this book. Jennifer Grant (http://jennifergrant.com) is a gifted writer, who shares the journey of adopting a little girl from Guatemala with prose that is both lovely and searing. Her message is for all parents, not just parents by adoption. The book tells the story of an ordinary family (if a family with three kids born in three and a half years is “ordinary”), and God’s call on that family to add a fourth child via adoption. As a mom (even though not an adoptive mom) I could totally c...more

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Aug 15, 2011 Kelly Hager rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is the story of how Jennifer and her husband David adopted their youngest child, Mia. They had three other children (Theo, Ian and Isabel) and then decided to adopt one more. Mia's from Guatemala, which adds another dimension to the adoption (she's obviously adopted, which can cause stares and insensitive comments from strangers).

This isn't really a "how t0" book on the best way to add to your family (although there are helpful tips, books and websites in the back of the book) but rather th...more

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Jan 14, 2012 Holly rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-2012

This is honestly, probably one of the most touching books I've ever read. I've always been someone that thought way into the future I would like to adopt children, and I will even admit it's outweighed my dreams of biologically having my own. Not that I'm opposed to biologically having my own, I just don't ponder it as much. So I felt even though this wasn't applicable to my life now I would possibly one day be experiencing much of the same feelings, and thought this woman experienced when she...more

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Aug 30, 2011 Lainy rated it 5 of 5 stars

What a wonderful and uplifting story of Jennifer Grants journey through life and the process of adoption.

The story goes through many stages. We are introduced to Jennifer's life, how she spent her early years with her husband. Their first home, her faith, their children and the things that happened to decide they wanted to adopt.

We are introduced not only to her children but close friends and some of the people involved in the actual adoption. The journey of what they endured with the process of...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Connie rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is the story of a family that has always wanted to adopt a child even tho they had children of their own. They decide to adopt outside of the United States and thus began the long paperwork process. With God's guidance they finally were able to bring home their daughter, Mia, from Guatemala to add to their family.

This book is designed to be read for those who wish to adopt; especially if they are wanting to adopt outside the United States. The book contains tips for prospective adoptive pa...more

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Sep 06, 2011 Wyllow rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads-books, non-fiction-memoirs-biographies

I received this book after winning it from Goodreads First Reads. As a young mother hoping to adopt in the future, this book was a wonderful look into the joys, struggles, and process of adopting a child. The only thing I disliked about it was the constant references to Biblical passages and how everything was God's will and the like. Not because I am not a Christian (which I'm not, but I have a great deal of respect for most Christians I've known), but because it occupied a bit too much of the...more

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Aug 01, 2011 Farrah Brown rated it 4 of 5 stars

What a beautiful story of a mother's love and perseverance. I loved reading about the whole journey, from city girl to suburban mom, and ALL the ups and downs along the way. It made me feel inspired in a new way and certainly got my mind thinking about our family and if God might be calling us to expand in a similar way.
I love her honesty and vulnerability and willingness to take us all along with her on this adoption journey. A truly beautiful memoir of a family that was beautifully woven toge...more

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Jan 18, 2013 Abigail rated it 5 of 5 stars

Beautiful story of one family's adoption of a little girl from Guatemala--I like how she shared her faith in God throughout but was not preachy, and even admits she is not advocating that everyone go out and adopt.

I love Jennifer Grant's writing style and will be looking for more of her work.

What I took away: God does not love us less when we feel like less (less as a parent, down on ourselves, worrying about what people think of us or if our children will love us).

A couple of emails she recei...more

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Apr 14, 2012 Stephanie Richter rated it 5 of 5 stars

Have you ever wondered what motivates a family to adopt a child, or what the process is like? Jennifer Grant’s Love You More is an eloquent and touchingly honest memoir about her family’s adoption journey. Throughout the book, she shares intimately about the intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical process through which the “birth” of her adoption sprang forth.
Though each adoptive family has its own story, Grant has opened a vein here to allow her readers to interact with the vividly emot...more Have you ever wondered what motivates a family to adopt a child, or what the process is like? Jennifer Grant’s Love You More is an eloquent and touchingly honest memoir about her family’s adoption journey. Throughout the book, she shares intimately about the intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical process through which the “birth” of her adoption sprang forth.
Though each adoptive family has its own story, Grant has opened a vein here to allow her readers to interact with the vividly emotional love story of becoming a family with her Guatemalan-born daughter Mia. We are allowed a vision into the formation of her deep desire from youth, through her early married life, and career and world travel to make adoption part of her familial aspirations.
We walk with her as she births three delightfully wonderful and different biological children in quick succession as she transitions into motherhood. After a reprieve of several years, the desire to enlarge the family through adoption comes full circle as she and her husband decide the time is right.
Grant describes issues such as contemplation of where to adopt (domestic, international and what country if international), the challenges of the process and the waiting, and the constant unknown. We experience with her the dramatic moments of meeting her daughter for the first time in Guatemala, then finally welcoming Mia “home” after the long wait until legal finalization, and next the beauty, as well as the challenges, during which the family adjusts to the "new normal."
Love You More is a must-read for those considering adoption, those who have family or friends who are adopting, and anyone interested in the topic of family. What spoke most loudly to me throughout the book was the incredible love and generosity of heart and spirit of this wonderful mother (as spokesperson for the family), who sought to love and embrace a stranger as her own. Mia is adored and cherished, and meant to be a part of the family that has been preparing to love her all of her life. Through this miraculous gift, Grant reveals the incredible power of adoption as one of the great expressions of love that can be given and received.

Grant, Jennifer. Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adoptiong My Daughter. Thomas Nelson, 2011.
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Dec 20, 2011 Jasmine Ko rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: received-from-publisher

This memoir is about a woman's journey through adopting a daughter from Guatemala and the changes in her life along the way. Grant already had three biological children of her own, but answers God's calling and adopts fourth child - a little girl. This book is written for parents of all kinds, but couples that are thinking about or have been through adoption will find Grant's personal story inspirational, but also very real.

Grant shares herself very openly throughout the book and does not hold b...more

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Sep 11, 2011 Brenna rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: review-copies

2.5 Stars (rounded up to 3)

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while, know that I occasionally review Christian living and Christian fiction books as well.

I requested Love You More to review because adoption is something I've been interested in for a long time, and hope to be involved with personally in the future. And this book sounded like it would be such a touching read.

And parts of it were beautiful, and utterly moving but as a whole, I was disappointed with the book.

I appr...more

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Sep 06, 2012 Kathy Chung rated it 4 of 5 stars

Reviewed at Mama Kucing Meow : Love You More : The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter By Jennifer Grant

I like it coz it's informative without being preachy

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Aug 30, 2011 Ashley-Marie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Ashley-Marie by: Goodreads

Shelves: giveaway-books, non-fiction, classics, childrens, biography, first-reads, given-to-me

I received this book from Goodreads' First Reads and I'm really glad I got it. The book was filled with emotion and taught me so many wonderful things that I never thought about before. I've learned things that should be better known, about adoptions conditions and all the mazes expectant parents go through. Knowing they have struggled and have been rewarded made me unbelievably happy. This book I DEFINITELY going on my to be reread pile, especially in the future when my life will hopefully cont...more

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Aug 10, 2011 Romel rated it 4 of 5 stars

came across the book online and identified it as one of those I would def want to read. I did! it is lovely...maybe a little too much of saccharine in the details....but overall a very sensitive and heart warming experience

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Jun 17, 2011 Maurice Possley rated it 5 of 5 stars

Love You More is a powerful, tender, and eloquent memoir that captures the pain and angst, and ultimately the triumph and overwhelming joy of family, faith, and adoption. I love this book.

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Oct 10, 2011 Rachel N rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone touched by the miracle of adoption or considering adoption

Shelves: adoption, biography-memoir, read-in-2011

Love You More is a refreshing memoir of one adoptive mama's journey. It's "real" but not negative - thank you very much! This book would be particulary encouraging to moms who are currently in the process of adoption. There are a lot of books on the market that, in my opinion, sow fear into the heart of prospective parents - akin to a physician who is required to tell his patients the worst case scenarios, even though these scenarios are very unlikely. Love You More is a welcome exception. While...more

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Feb 03, 2012 Crystal rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, book-sneeze, kindle

Full review coming soon on the site, but I thought this was a beautiful portrayal of one family's adoption journey. She really dives into the good and the bad. For anyone interested in adoption or anyone interested in stories of real people, it's a terrific read.

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Nov 06, 2011 Michele Amos rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was beautifully written. It pulled at my heart strings and brought me to tears many times throughout her story. My mother was adopted, I was adopted and someday I hope to adopt. Reading Ms. Grant's story, shed a lot of light on what I could expect when it is my turn to adopt.

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Apr 21, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Laughter and tears is the best combination in reading a book!

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Sep 01, 2011 Laurie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Laurie by: BookSneeze

You can read my review here: http://cookscrapcraft.blogspot.com/20...

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Nov 10, 2011 Sara Smith rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book made me laugh and cry. It's written in a very personable way. Thanks for sharing your adoption story.

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Nov 08, 2011 Alisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

The writing on this story was beautiful for me in parts. It was about a woman and her family and their decision to adopt from Guatemala after having two children naturally. It delves into the perceptions and stereotypes of adopted children naturally. I especially liked how she said you have to feel about adoption passionately for it to work, not just a fleeting idea. Very interesting book.

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Nov 20, 2011 Tina rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Jennifer Grant tells how she and her husband adopted a little girl from Guatemala. She writes about the long and difficult wait for her child and the sometimes difficult adjustments for the whole family. Great book!

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About Jennifer Grant

Jennifer Grant is a journalist and freelance writer with particular interests in parenting, family life, and international health and development. She has been a columnist and currently freelances for the Chicago Tribune. Jennifer is a guest blogger for websites including Fullfill and Sojourner's God's Politics and a regular contributor to Christianity Todays her.meneutics blog for women. Her work...more

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