Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? A Catholic Girl's Memoir” as Want to Read:
Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? A Catholic Girl's Memoir
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating

Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? A Catholic Girl's Memoir

by
3.16 of 5 stars 3.16  ·  rating details  ·  263 ratings  ·  31 reviews
What happens when you grow up in an insane Catholic family? Surprisingly funny, this candid memoir shows readers the endurance it takes to survive in a stifling, abusive childhood. It's an emotional roller coaster from start to finish, fiercely honest and sincere. From the very beginning, the author grapples with hilarious, uncomfortable situations, punctuated by episodes ...more
ebook, 164 pages
Published September 21st 2010 by Deviant Troll Press
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

Be the first to ask a question about Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? A Catholic Girl's Memoir

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 539)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
Maria
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in the Goodreads Giveaway program from the author.

As others have stated, this book was not what I expected. My only clue as to what this book was about was via the Goodreads blurb which gave the impression that it was a lighthearted look back at a Catholic girl’s life with statements like “...Surprisingly funny...”. “hilarious, uncomfortable situations”, “These stories will make you laugh out loud”.

To me, this book was not funny - it was brutal and raw
...more
Victoria
It said it was a comedy....Really, though, it was the sad story of an abused girl....
Kristina
Read the full review @ Frazzled Book Nommer.

From the very first page, Marie exudes brazen, blatant honesty. Do Tampons Take Your Virginity? starts off with an ass/face towel anecdote – I kid you not – and it only delves deeper from there. I applaud Marie for being audacious enough to publicly write about these stories. I’d personally be too afraid of who from my past would read the stories. Marie, however, exposes every raw moment of her childhood – from abuse, to rape, to sexual encounters. Thi
...more
Mysterium
The author Marie Simas was kind enough to send me a copy of her book. The title lead me to believe that this was a unique yet personal view of how one lived and survived under the dogma of the Roman Catholic Church. After a few exchanged emails, I stood corrected and was still intrigued by her story. As a former Roman Catholic, I am always curious to see and hear others' perspectives of their church and cultural experiences.

I read Marie's brilliant diary of her life with a heavy heart and more t
...more
Veronica Noechel
I have to agree with other reviewers who warned that this is one poorly titled book. It lures you in, thinking (in my case) that this will be a light, comical book about growing up female and the misconceptions we all had, a good cheer-me-up after that Auschwitz book I just read. Hell no. H-e-l-l n-o. While the stories are fast paced and not poorly written, they tell a disturbing story of culturally accepted child abuse. I felt for the girl in the stories, but ultimately was left wondering "why ...more
Murphy's Library
(from Murphy's Library - http://www.murphyslibrary.com/)

I didn’t know what I’d think of this book when I first saw the title and the cover, but I decided to give it a try because I’d read some positive reviews, but nothing much spoilerish. Let me tell you: even if this isn’t the genre of book I usually read, I had a really good time.

The memoirs go from sad to funny in a matter of a few pages, and you see yourself in little details. It’s a book with a lesson, even if it just shows up towards the
...more
Miss Spookyverse [¬º-°]¬
„Do Tampons Take Your Virginity” klingt ja eher nach Mädchenaufklärungsbuch. Zusammen mit dem Untertitel „A Catholic Girl’s Memoir“ habe ich schon eher auf etwas Interessantes, möglicherweise Lustiges getippt. Die lobenden Zitate auf der Buchrückseite bestätigen das und haben mich auf „laugh out loud“ Momente vorbereitet. Von denen gab es nach den ersten 20 Seiten allerdings keinen einzigen. Vielmehr ist das Buch brutal und deprimierend. Die Autorin berichtet von einer an einem Hirntumor erkrank ...more
Debbie
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book via Goodreads giveaway program from the author.

I started reading it as soon as I got home and saw it in the mail, and finished it a little over two hours later. Overall, I really liked the book. It was quirky, a bit gut-wrenching, disturbing, and hopeful all at the same time. Why the 3 stars then? Because I can't get over the title. It's an interesting title, a unique title, a title that is sure to make someone do a double take. Unfortunately, it's also
...more
Issa
This book was not what I expected. A review I read talked about the humor and while there were some funny moments, this memoir was mostly about being raised in an abusive home. It was well written and often sad.
Lisa
I thought this book was going to be really funny, but it turns out to be really deep and interesting. Should be done today with it.
Charlie
Simas attacks this memoir with unapologetic strength. The humor, pain and personality comes through in the written word. I felt I got to know and connect with Marie. Sure, sympathizing is common with memoirs, but getting a reader to laugh while at the worst, well, that takes a special creative talent. Don't get me wrong, nothing is funny about the serious issues presented, but humor brings relief. The message is about surviving, overcoming, talking and ultimately, in the end to change. Yes, thin ...more
Laura
This was one of my very first Kindle purchases when I was new to using it plus at 90cents how could I say no? The title of the book felt a little shocking but I must admit it piqued my interest instantly considering it's an autobiography (total sucker for them). This is the second time I started the book (as have most of my books on the Kindle) because of the amount of time that lapsed since reading it last..very well worth it!

Today I plonked myself down on the couch and didn't move until the la
...more
Mandy
I won this book and was totally excited to get it in the mail. AND it ended up being signed "Thanks Mandy, Marie" on the inside. Bonus!
With this title, I really expected it to be a lighthearted take on one's experience growing up in a conservative Catholic family. I literally laughed out loud during the first few pages, which outline some hilarious memories from Marie's childhood. As the book went on, the stories quickly went from lighthearted to disturbing, as she outlines pretty severe emotio
...more
Pam
Not far into the book I was horrified to read of a family visit to Portugal and the details of restroom facilities or lack there of. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who might want to actually read this book. I'm shocked that I finished it myself. It was only 160 some pages long and I guess I was waiting for the promised humor but alas didn't find. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.
Angie
The title and the brief description of the book are a little misleading. Is it funny? There are moments when the author laughs at life or finds humor in otherwise unfunny situations.

The Goodreads description of "surprisingly funny" and "hilarious, uncomfortable situations" heavily glosses over the very real, brutally honest essays of spousal rape and child abuse in a strict Catholic home.

This isn't a book about religion or even the author's own relationship with religion but a peek into an abusi
...more
Alyssia
Although this narrator is so very different in circumstance and lifestyle, all I kept thinking as I read was, "I know that feeling. I've been there." I was able, almost constantly, to empathize with the write, and I didn't feel that any of her accounts were fictional (although dramatized, of course). The reality of the book is what really struck me. It was poignant, heart-wrenching, funny, and occasionally, too close for comfort.
Crystal
Like a few other reviews, I thought this book was going to be funny. Especially the way it started out with "ass towels and face towels". Although it wasn't as humorous as I was expecting, I still enjoyed reading it. My heart ached for her when she was a child and the beating she had to endure from her dirt bag dad. I'm glad she was able to see a good amount of positive and good in life and she ended up with a happy life.
Emily
Do Tampons Take Your Virginity is an interesting read. The end is probably the best part of the book - and not because it's the end. Simas gives a brutal examination of her childhood infront of a public audience. Her either gall or bravery is impressive, but at times very painful to swallow. Definitely worth reading, but not if you're looking for an uplifting read.
Celina
Who touted this book as being funny??? What a misleading description because I only bought it for the chuckles...that never came. There's nothing funny about physical abuse or rape.

But her candor and vulnerability are appreciated. In the end, I would read it again. But don't be fooled, this isn't funny in the least. Tragic. Survival. Triumph.
Laura
This was either my first or second purchase on the kindle...It took me AGES to read the book. It wasn't bad but it wasn't terribly amazing either....You know how some books will stay with you even if it's been a while since you read it and then others just flutter away completely? Well, I'm sad to say but this book is of the latter.
Rachel
Maybe 1.5. Expected humor...not at all. An extremely brash, ugly story of abuse. What I think was supposed to be comic relief didn't quite work for me. The ending was somewhat redeeming, though I'm still left unsure about the whole thing. Strange reading experience.
Rebecca
Was not what I expected. I did however enjoy this book, you just need to be able to over look the raunchy language. But all in all I liked it. It was accidentally put on to the kindle account lol
Velia
I could relate. Marie's story was deep and got me to think and give myself credit and confidence again for the decisions I made in my life. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it.
Patti
Marie is a good storyteller. I really enjoyed this book. I finished it in about 4 hours or so. Several parts had me laughing out loud.
Kathryn
I borrowed the book from the kindle lending library. was a good read, though shocking at times. definitely not for the faint of heart.
Erika Krueger
Amusing and easy to read. The vignettes don't totally flow, but I still enjoyed it.
Ellie Revert
Made me think of my adolescence---and my Catholic friends. And it was a free Nook book!
Corey Schutzman
This raw, witty and disturbing memoir really opened my eyes. A quick read.
Jill
another free read on my kindle.. fast and funny.
Lauren Monsey Nagel
This sounds like my childhood.
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 17 18 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Rediscovery of North America
  • Being and Homelessness: Notes from an Underground Artist
  • Living in Sin?: A Bishop Rethinks Human Sexuality
  • The Character
  • Your Mythic Journey: Finding Meaning in Your Life Through Writing and Storytelling
  • Bullheaded Black Remembers Alexander: The Story of Alexander the Great's Invasion of the Middle East
  • Sunrise Over Disney
  • Door Wide Open: A Beat Love Affair in Letters, 1957-1958
  • White Girl Bleed a Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How the Media Ignore It
  • The Snitch, Houdini and Me: Humorous Tales of Death-defying Childhood Misadventure
  • God Said, "Ha!"
  • Waiting for SUPERMAN: A Participant Media Guide
  • The Woman's Bible: A Classic Feminist Perspective
  • Bad Cop: New York's Least Likely Police Officer Tells All
  • Watersheds of World History
  • Not Young, Still Restless
  • Butterfly Woman
  • It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library)
4402439
I worked as a copywriter for many years, and finally started writing humor essays in 2008. I released my first book in 2009, "Do Tampons Take Your Virginity?"-- the book has done well in the UK (it was the bestselling Kindle humor book for over two months). I now write full-time. I live in Las Vegas with my family. Feel free to send me a message.
More about Marie Simas...
Douchebag Roulette

Share This Book

“Human life is a passage - it's simply a crossing to somewhere else. Most people stay on the highway, but some choose to go off-road.

Don't ever be afraid to drive off the road and into the grass. You never know what you might find there. And don't regret your choices. We all make mistakes, and sometimes they'll be huge ones. But don't despair. In the long run you'll travel so far down the road that you won't be able to see those mistakes behind you. Just put one foot in front of the other, and you'll do just fine.”
4 likes
More quotes…