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hidden

by Tomas Mournian (Goodreads Author)

3.36 of 5 stars 3.36 · rating details · 128 ratings · 38 reviews

When Ahmed's parents send him to a residential treatment center known as Serenity Ridge, it's with one goal: to "fix" their son, at any cost. But eleven months of abuse and overmedication leave him desperate to escape. And when the opportunity comes, Ahmed runs away to San Francisco.

There, he moves into a secret safe house shared by a group of teens. Until they become ind

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Paperback, 372 pages

Published February 1st 2011 by Kensington

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May 05, 2013 Pia Veleno added it

Shelves: __queer, source-paperback-or-hardcover

The Kindle free sample has me hooked, but damn... more than nine bucks for an ebook. I don't have to pay that much for my favorite authors, let alone an unknown. (Received the paperback as a gift -- I still stand by my statement that ebooks shouldn't cost more than mass market paperbacks.)

hidden

Yep, it really is a lowercase title. This was the first of many things that had me shaking my head. The author used a ton of kid slang, quotes to emphasize words that didn't need emphasizing, quotes aroun...more The Kindle free sample has me hooked, but damn... more than nine bucks for an ebook. I don't have to pay that much for my favorite authors, let alone an unknown. (Received the paperback as a gift -- I still stand by my statement that ebooks shouldn't cost more than mass market paperbacks.)

hidden

Yep, it really is a lowercase title. This was the first of many things that had me shaking my head. The author used a ton of kid slang, quotes to emphasize words that didn't need emphasizing, quotes around thoughts**, text shorthand, dialog tags in awkward places, action dialog tags instead of showing the scene, minor characters that didn't seem to have a role in the story, "s/he", a fat girl that seemed as if she was only fat to mock her, a gender ambiguous character that seemed to be that way only to mock hir, a trans character... actually she wasn't bad but her part in the ending didn't make any sense.

Now, setting aside the annoying things, the theme was interesting, and I stuck with the story without much effort. I would've liked to see more addressing SR instead of burying those memories. The romantic triangle stood out more to me than SR, though I believe the story was meant to highlight the dangers of gay "cures" and runaway queer teens.

Had the execution not been so frustrating I'd probably have enjoyed it more. Though some scenes tended to be so over the top, that I had a difficult time believing in the story, or sympathizing with the MC. Speaking of the MC, he was likable and then not, and continued to flip-flop between the two. Perhaps too much, because that ending would've gone over better had the character ended likable, but (view spoiler).

Honestly, what was the point of the blue-eyed guy??

** (Warning: Rant Ahead) First person POV never, ever needs quotes around thoughts. Never. Actually, no POV does, but c'mon, in 1st, the prose is assumed to come from the MC. Now, the MC did magically know what other characters were feeling at in a couple of scenes, but that's just sloppy editing, not an excuse to set off his personal thoughts with quotation marks. Almost every time it happened, I assumed he was actually saying those things out loud until I stumbled and choked on a dialog tag like "I wanted to say". It caused a lot of confusion, and many paragraphs needed to be reread to figure out what was being said vs thought. (End Rant)

So long, rambling review short: The experimental writing techniques didn't work for me at all. I suspect there was a decent story in there, but sadly, the weird way this was presented robbed me from truly submerging myself in the world of the MC. My internal editor ran out of red ink, and then sobbed in the corner inconsolable. (less)

1 like · like · see review

Feb 08, 2011 Melanie Goodman added it

Ahmed wrote one simple sentence in his journal. He knew his snoopy parents might read it. He did it anyway. Ahmed wrote, “I think I might be queer,” and with that thought his life changed. When his stepmother reads this, Ahmed fears for his life, worried that his family will kill him. Instead, they send him to Serenity Ridge, a “treatment” facility to turn gay teens straight. After a year at Serenity Ridge, Ahmed is on his way home, but he knows it won’t be long before he’s sent back. He does wh...more Ahmed wrote one simple sentence in his journal. He knew his snoopy parents might read it. He did it anyway. Ahmed wrote, “I think I might be queer,” and with that thought his life changed. When his stepmother reads this, Ahmed fears for his life, worried that his family will kill him. Instead, they send him to Serenity Ridge, a “treatment” facility to turn gay teens straight. After a year at Serenity Ridge, Ahmed is on his way home, but he knows it won’t be long before he’s sent back. He does what he feels he must do–he escapes.

On the run from his family, Ahmed heads to a safe house in San Francisco. Once there, he changes his name to Ben and disguises himself, but these precautions are not enough. Kids in the safe house have to stay inside the safe house. They can no longer go out into the world, and their actions inside are limited to keep neighbors from suspecting what’s going on. Some kids break the rules, resorting to prostitution and cyberwhoring to make money, and drinking and doing drugs to keep their minds off of their grim existence. The safe house may not be the same as the hellish treatment facility, but it’s not a whole lot better.

What should Ahmed do? Is he better off living incognito until her turns 18? Or should he return to his family and face the music?

Tomas Mournian’s hidden is admittedly the kind of book I might not have finished if it wasn’t for a tour. It is raw, edgy, rough, and dark. It exposed me to a world that got under my skin and made me uncomfortable. That discomfort might normally have driven me away, but in this case, I’m glad I stuck it out. I learned about a modern underground railway that is horrifying, but the alternative is perhaps worse. Survival sometimes calls for behaviors that no kids should ever have to engage in. That harsh reality is sickening, but it is not something we should walk away from.

hidden is a cross-over book, bridging the gap between adult and YA. It’s language and topic areas might be considered too graphic for some teens, but we also have to remember that for other teens, this is everyday life. I think the authenticity, vulgar as it may seem at times, will appeal to many teen readers. I was also glad to see a wide variety of teens portrayed in the safe house environment. There are characters of a variety of sexualities and ethnic backgrounds, another quality that will behoove teen readers looking for people who resemble them in literature.

If you’re looking for a light, fluffy romance or a quick, mindless read, this is not the book for you. However, if you want to read something that is bit more unsettling and thought-provoking, give hidden a shot. I’m not sure that this is the right kind of book for a lot of people, but I think that for some people, this just might be one of the most valuable books they could read.(less)

5 likes · like · see review

Apr 03, 2013 Michael Soros rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay

I bought this book out of nostalgia in some respects as I used to work with young men with mental health problems back in the early `90s in London. Quite a few of them were gay and had lived here and there purely because they had been abandoned by their families. It was hard to know whether the mental deterioration was due to background, genes or simply being abandoned to a very indifferent world. We hear a lot about `youth' but largely as consumers or potential troublemakers. This book is like...more

3 likes · like · see review

Jan 09, 2012 Meg rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: lgbt, fiction, young-adult

3.5 stars. Gripping story of a gay teenager who has been forced to undergo reparative therapy in an abusive residential 'treatment' program, and escapes to a secret safe house in San Francisco for gay and trans youth. I admit that when I first started reading, I thought "This must be set in some kind of dystopia where it's legal to do all this terrible stuff in residential 'treatment' programs, and bounty hunters are allowed to hunt down young people to return them to their abusive homes." Nope....more

1 like · like · see review

Jun 02, 2011 Rose rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was a very interesting book that explores the world of underground safe houses which harbor teens who've escaped from residential treatments centers & bootcamps to "cure" them of homosexuality. It's pretty dark & raw & more than a little disturbing. The abuse these poor kids go through made me cringe & the injustice of having their freedom taken away angered me, but a very powerful emotion throughout the book is sadness & loneliness. That these kids know no love or accep...more

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Apr 27, 2011 Katy Vance rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: diversity, lgbtq, otr, 2011

This book is fantastic! I especially appreciate the interview and information included at the end about safe houses for LGBT teens, which I didn't even know existed. I suppose I knew about them in theory but not in the "Underground Railroad" way which they exist today. I felt Ben/Ahmed was an exceptionally well developed character, realistic and believable in his voice and actions throughout the novel. I loved the secondary characters as well, each one unique and none of them perfect. Most of th...more

1 like · like · see review

Mar 09, 2011 Tessa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fictive, yyay

I read a review of this on a YA blog, and then looked it up to see if we'd ordered it yet. It was already in! And in my library. But cataloged for the adult section. So of course I had to read it to figure out why.

After reading it, I'm still not sure. I think it would have a lot of appeal for teens who watch drama-filled reality tv where people are forced to live with each other, read "street lit", for fans of Ellen Hopkins, fans of Push, and for GLBTQ teens & allies, and for anyone who like...more

1 like · like · see review

Feb 09, 2011 Jessica rated it 5 of 5 stars

I can already tell you right now that this review is going to be a jumble of thoughts. I finished reading Hidden just a few moments ago and I'm not even sure how to explain what is going on in my head right now. It's a blur of emotions really. Hatred. Disgust. Pure and utter sympathy. Understanding. This is one of those books that I can't even classify as a tough read. No, it's more like a necessary read that tears your heart out, gives you tons of new information you never knew you needed to kn...more I can already tell you right now that this review is going to be a jumble of thoughts. I finished reading Hidden just a few moments ago and I'm not even sure how to explain what is going on in my head right now. It's a blur of emotions really. Hatred. Disgust. Pure and utter sympathy. Understanding. This is one of those books that I can't even classify as a tough read. No, it's more like a necessary read that tears your heart out, gives you tons of new information you never knew you needed to know, then puts you back together into a much more whole person. Does that make any sense at all?

Although the synopsis shows the story focusing around Ahmed, and it does, there are so many more vivid characters that are presented to the reader. Ahmed, or Ben as he is known throughout most of the book, is wrenched out of his "normal" existence and placed into a treatment center for queer teens. His parents have one thought. To get him out of their lives until a "cure" for what he is can be found. When he finally finds the means of escape, he is thrown into an underground world full of people who understand him, even if they don't quite understand themselves. These characters, and their dark pasts, become a sense of introspection for Ben as he navigates his way through his new found "freedom".

Yes, this book is gritty. It's realistic. Reading it was like watching a documentary unfold. I began to believe in the characters between the pages. I rooted for them. I felt for them and wanted to understand them. I wish I could say more, but honestly Hidden is such a complex and masterful piece of work that nothing I say can truly do it justice. To say that this book touched me is an understatement of the deepest kind. I'd say instead that this book shoved my head into the reality that actual teens like Ben go through. How would I have ever known that there are safe houses set up for these teens? Or the atrocities that they are made to suffer at the hands of those that would "cure" them? I feel like my eyes are so opened now to this that it is my duty to place this books in the hands of others and have their eyes opened as well.

I cannot recommend this book enough to you, my dear readers. Be warned, the vocabulary within can be considered offensive if you're not prepared for it. This is definitely a read for the older reader, or at least one to be shared between a teen and their parents. However I can promise you that if you can get past the vocabulary, and see it as just another piece of the truth that these characters really live, you will come away feeling much like I did. I feel like I should go give Tomas Mournian a hug and thank him so much for writing this book and sharing a piece of himself. Truly.(less)

2 likes · like · see review

Oct 15, 2011 Kaje Harper rated it 4 of 5 stars

3.5* This was a really hard book to rate. It is based on an investigative article the author, who is a journalist, did for the San Francisco Bay Guardian. It is very gritty and tough, and there is physical, sexual and emotional abuse in here, both on and off page. It follows kids who are runaways from various unbearable situations including, in the narrator Ahmed's case, a treatment center trying to turn gay kids straight with "aversive conditioning" aka torture. These kids band together in a sa...more

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Feb 13, 2011 Jeff Erno rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-themed-young-adult

Ahmed has just escaped from a militaristic boot camp where the function of its operation is to reform homosexual youth. He was sent there by his father, who upon discovering he was gay, became intent upon curing him. Ahmed fakes a tooth ache, and his father and stepmom come to take him to a dentist. When they stop at a rest area, Ahmed makes a run for it. He has a hundred dollar bill stuffed in his tennis shoe which he’d received from his real mother as a birthday gift. He uses this to buy a bus...more Ahmed has just escaped from a militaristic boot camp where the function of its operation is to reform homosexual youth. He was sent there by his father, who upon discovering he was gay, became intent upon curing him. Ahmed fakes a tooth ache, and his father and stepmom come to take him to a dentist. When they stop at a rest area, Ahmed makes a run for it. He has a hundred dollar bill stuffed in his tennis shoe which he’d received from his real mother as a birthday gift. He uses this to buy a bus ticket to L.A. Once in the city, he contacts a GLBT safe house where he finds refuge. The story is largely about the relationships that Ahmed makes while hiding out. He changes his name to Ben in order to conceal his identity.

Hidden was, to say the least, a shock to me as a reader. It is terribly irreverent, a thumbing of the nose at all literary rules and protocol. To be blunt, it is an editorial nightmare! The author uses thousands of fragments, incomplete thoughts, and nonsensical jargon. He writes in a choppy, staccato style, as if his thoughts are merely pouring out of his head without regard for propriety. The chapters are so ridiculously short that there are 117 of them in one 372 page novel.

So why is it that I absolutely love this story? I love it for its originality. I love the authenticity. I love the raw emotion! The prose and the dialogue were teen slang, and it felt real to me. Eventually I adapted to the unusual style and was swept away by the intensity of the emotion which was conveyed.

In the opening pages of the story I did struggle a bit with the realism of the story, or lack thereof. I’m not sure an escape such as that would be possible, but the author certainly did make me want to believe.

The depiction of the teens living in a ghetto was so painfully raw. My heart ached for each one of these youth. I fell in love with the entire eclectic group, and even after nearly four hundred pages, I was not ready for the story to end.

I also loved the fact that the author was not afraid of stereotypes. He did not paint these gay kids as if they were the type to just “blend in”. Some were outrageous. Some were trans. Some were fem. The ones you expected to be tops were bottoms! I loved that the author did not give a damn about whether or not the reader “liked” his characters. He wrote them REAL! He wrote them with delicious, believable flaws.

You won’t find a happily-ever-after, rose-colored-glasses kind of ending to this tale, but it is not a tragedy either. The reader is left with a realistic hope and with the possibility that there will be more to come. I really hope so, because I’m dying to read more about this kid. I love Ahmed, and I’m blown away by this amazing author!

(less)

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Sep 17, 2012 George Ilsley rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay, fiction

Wanted to like this more, but the structure of the book, and some sloppy editing, interfered with what otherwise was a compelling story. Compelling, and not one which I feel is widely known. Certainly I had known of the re-programming camps which attempt to de-gay teenagers, but had not realized the flip side of that coercion, the underground railroad and safe houses of those trying to escape the bigotry of their parents (who pay big money for these unproven and dangerous procedures).

But. Turds...more

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May 15, 2011 Duane rated it 3 of 5 stars

A very gritty YA novel based on a fictional tale of Ahmed, a gay 15 year old who is escaping from a gay treatment center. The main character is very complex which can make reading the book complicated, but he is also very real in his emotional state. The book is overflowing with unique and complex characters which at times can get confusing but does overall add to the story. There is tons of vulgar language in the book so be warned. Some of the writing style can be extremely confusing to underst...more

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Mar 21, 2011 Holly rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was incredible...and very disturbing since it's based on several kids' real lives. hidden is about a boy that is put into a type of "rehab" by his parents, so he won't be gay anymore. Once he escapes, he lives "underground" in San Francisco and meets many other kids in the same situation. I don't think the author intended for this to be a "teen" book, but it ultimately is. (I can think of quite a few adults that SHOULD read this, but would probably go on deaf ears.) The language and scenari...more

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Mar 04, 2012 Betryal rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: hardcover-paperback, young-adult

Why are children born and a parent(s) are unable to accept the child and love them unconditionally. Don't take this the wrong was and not all parents are under my scrutiny, but the parents to the teens in this book are and I'm just speaking out loud, making myself heard regarding those parents that would be so cold and commit the most heinous of crimes in my eyes: Sending them to a correctional facility.

This is what happens to Ahmed. He's the one telling this story. In first person. Read about h...more

1 like · like · see review

Apr 02, 2011 Donald rated it 2 of 5 stars

I gave this to page 89 and then threw in the towel. The main character is not likable and neither is anyone else in the book. I kept hoping for some redeeming value, but it was not forthcoming. Ahmed, the product of an American mother and an Arab father, is a runaway gay teen. His mother left years ago and now his father and his stepmother are battling him over his being gay. After a stint in a hospital that converts homosexuals, he escapes and begins an adventure. Where it ends, I don't care. P...more

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Apr 13, 2011 Chris rated it 2 of 5 stars

This was a difficult read. It's depressing, weird,startling, intense, and disturbing. Waiting for the book banners to go after this one. Ahmed escapes from a camp that is supposed to make him straight but his hiding place seems to be just as bad as his former hell. He's exposed to some really bizarre housemates who are promiscuous, drug users, HIV positive,and are transvestites. All the while the bounty hunters are going to come and get him and nobody can leave the house. The book is best when h...more

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Feb 12, 2011 Keyona rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: blog-tours

One Word: Powerful. This novel takes the reader to places they may not be ready to go. It is definitely not for the faint of heart...or cry babies like me. The characters, not just Ahmed/Ben but the secondary characters that are runaway GLBT teens are one of a kind. They are in your face, fighting for the spotlight type of characters. They refuse to be judged and they demand respect. I don't like them all but I can't help but care deeply about what happens to each of them. They each come with th...more

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Jan 22, 2011 Lindsay Paige rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: dac2011, reviewed

WARNINGS: There is some vulgar language.

Hidden is about Ahmed aka Ben whose parents sent him away so doctors could rid him of being gay. Serenity Ridge is just awful and we learn just how awful as Ben reflects on it as he escapes.

The characters in this book were very, very unique and diverse too. There’s J.D. who’s sexy yet possibly scared of commitment. Kidd who isn’t always the nicest person. Hammer who is also sexy but Ben just doesn’t know about him. Peanuts who is a little on the crazy side...more

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Feb 14, 2011 Dana marked it as life-is-too-short

OMG this book is SO annoying, I can't EVEN. FINISH. IT.

The author's writing how he thinks a kid (boi) prolly speaks, aiight, but IDK what teens he's been talking to, because it's really forced and

over
the
top

For reals.

G-D, the writing is soooooooooooo Hyperactive and Quirky it's hard to care about the characters or their (GRIM) sitch. Instead I keep thinking, WTF am I wasting my time when I could be reading something that has, IDK, actual grammar? Snap!

7 likes · like · see review

Feb 03, 2011 J. rated it 4 of 5 stars

A really great novel, though sometimes the action scenes get muddled. I like the author's willingness to include so many different kinds of teens, and Ahmed is certainly the first non-white gay teen I've encountered in a novel since Moore's "Hero." Jam-packed with extras, too; there's an author interview and a book group guide. I just wish that the action scenes were a bit less jumbled, narratively. Recommended.

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Dec 05, 2011 Don rated it 4 of 5 stars

I found this story captivating and it held my interest to the end. It's ending was ambiguous and left you wondering what happens to the Ahmed. That the story and characters are based on real life events is very disturbing. People presume young gays and trans have it easy these days and that isn't always the case.

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Jun 03, 2013 Andrea rated it 3 of 5 stars

A well written story. My only complaint is there are so many coincidences, one stacked up on another, that it occasionally took me out of the story. But in spite of that, very good. (Of course, maybe San Francisco is a much smaller city than I'm aware of.)

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Feb 01, 2011 Roger Highlands rated it 5 of 5 stars

Still reading, thoroughly enjoying 'hidden' by Tomas MournianHidden

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Jan 05, 2012 Colleen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Interesting story, but difficult to read at times. It didn't flow well and I found myself rereading sections so that I could understand.

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Mar 21, 2012 Bob rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: lgbt, ya

This really captures it all. Ahmed is sent to a place to be cured of his homosexuality. He lives through brutality abuse and nightmares. Then he escapes to a safe house in San Francisco where the middle class kid meets other kids with similiar stories. Very powerful, sometimes depressing and spellbinding. Time for a M-M romance.

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Jun 20, 2012 Nahlah added it

DISGUSTING BOOK!!! Complete waste of my time. Read it only if you want to throw up. :(

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Jun 15, 2011 JoyfulK rated it 4 of 5 stars

Intricate characterization and a plot full of suspense. Due to the fact that it addresses traumatic subject matter (a teen escaping from an abusive residential camp and living with other runaways in a "safe house"), don't read it right before bedtime.

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May 08, 2012 Vanessa Roberts rated it 5 of 5 stars

"hidden" was everything I want in a book. heartfelt, dark, human.

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Jun 28, 2011 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Disturbing to say the least but an excellent book. I was blown away by the behavior of some people in this world. Looking at how kids are put into situations makes me grateful for my life and my safety, as others do not have it as easy as we do.

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Dec 15, 2010 Lauren DeStefano marked it as to-read

Saw Brent's note on this and knew I had to read it.

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