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Arms Wide Open: A Midwife's Journey

by Patricia Harman (Goodreads Author)

3.69 of 5 stars 3.69 · rating details · 195 ratings · 55 reviews

A midwife’s memoir of living free and naturally against all odds

In her first, highly praised memoir, The Blue Cotton Gown, Patricia Harman recounted the stories that patients brought into her exam room, and her own story of struggling to help women as a nurse-midwife. In Arms Wide Open, a prequel to that acclaimed book, Patsy tells the story of growing up during one of th...more A midwife’s memoir of living free and naturally against all odds

In her first, highly praised memoir, The Blue Cotton Gown, Patricia Harman recounted the stories that patients brought into her exam room, and her own story of struggling to help women as a nurse-midwife. In Arms Wide Open, a prequel to that acclaimed book, Patsy tells the story of growing up during one of the most turbulent times in America and becoming an idealistic home-birth midwife.

Drawing heavily on her journals, Patsy reaches back to tell us how she first learned to deliver babies, and digs even deeper down to tell us of her youthful experiments in living a fully sustainable and natural life. In the 1960s and ’70s, she spent over a decade with her first partner living in rural areas in Minnesota and Ohio before eventually purchasing a farm with Tom Harman in West Virginia.

Patsy recounts the hardships and the freedom of living in the wilds of Minnesota in a log cabin she and her lover built with their own hands, the only running water hauled from nearby streams. She describes long treks in the snow with her infant son strapped to her chest, setting up beehives for honey, and giving chase to a thieving bear. Eventually, yearning for more connection, Patsy moves into communal life, forming alliances with the eco-minded and antiwar counterculture that was both loved and reviled in those days.

As a young mother on the commune, Patsy offers her personal experience and assistance to other women who, like her, wish to have safe, natural births. In time, she becomes a self-taught midwife, delivering babies in cabins and on farms, sometimes in harrowing circumstances. But her passion for the work drives her to want to help more, to do more. And so she begins the professional training that will fully accredit her to assist in childbirth. In a final section, Patsy takes us into the present day, facing the challenges of running a women’s health clinic with her husband, mothering adult sons, and holding true to their principles and passions in the twenty-first century

More than a personal memoir, Arms Wide Open paints a portrait of a generation’s desperate struggle to realize their ideals as they battled against the elements and against the conservative society that labeled them “hippies” and belittled their ecological and pacifist beliefs. Her memoir is a beautiful recollection of the convictions of the baby boom generation, a riveting account of surviving in the wild, and a triumphant story of living responsibly in our over-consuming society.

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Hardcover, 287 pages

Published April 12th 2011 by Beacon Press (first published March 28th 2011)

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Oct 02, 2011 Ciara rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: autobio-memoir, feminist-y-books, read-in-2011

i had a really tough time getting into this book. i sped through the first fifty pages & then found myself completely wiped out. because the first two-thirds of the book really just document the author's life as an enormous hippie. there was no real narrative thread, as far as i could discern. characters, settings, & choices are presented with very little context & it was difficult for me to find my bearings enough to care about the author's next big hippie adventure. not that there...more i had a really tough time getting into this book. i sped through the first fifty pages & then found myself completely wiped out. because the first two-thirds of the book really just document the author's life as an enormous hippie. there was no real narrative thread, as far as i could discern. characters, settings, & choices are presented with very little context & it was difficult for me to find my bearings enough to care about the author's next big hippie adventure. not that there was necessarily much adventure in this book.

it is split into three sections. the first section finds the author, patsy, living on a homestead in the minnesota woods with her partner, stacy, & their son. stacy loves homesteading but patsy seems to have a difficult time making the commitment. she misses her friends from the city & the experience of living in a communal environment. she & stacy hope to attract some of their activist colleagues into the homesteading lifestyle, but no one seems to be that interested.

patsy explains that when she gave birth to her son, she & stacy had to travel a long way to find a hospital & a doctor that would permit a natural birth with the father present. they were unable to find a midwife to help them out. patsy starts teaching very casual childbirth classes at the library in the city (when she can make it into town), primarily based on her own birth experience & a stack of like ten books she has read. that kind of blew me away. by that logic, i am more than qualified to be a childbirth educator! the author does not show any awareness whatsoever that not everyone who gives birth is going to have their perfect healthy dream birth. i don't know. it seemed weird & kind of facile.

& then patsy decides she can't take the isolation on the homestead anymore. she & stacy split up & she goes traveling.

part two finds her living on a new homestead, this time in kentucky, with her new partner, tom. stacy has followed her there & lives in a cabin on the same farm with his new partner. i was like, "surely this is where the midwifery stuff really picks up!" but...not really. patsy has another baby & she travels down to texas to apprentice with a midwife for a couple of weeks. she meets her first male midwife while she is there & is blown away. back home, tom starts to get interested in becoming an EMT & encourages patsy to go to nursing school.

the third section of the book fast forwards all the way to the mid/late 00s. patsy says she spent nearly thirty years delivering babies, & tom went on to medical school & became an ob/gyn because he enjoyed medicine so much. together they went into private practice. they did births, & tom specialized in treating women with chronic pelvic pain. but by the time this section opens, they no longer deliver babies--they just do pre-natal care for pregnant patients. patsy says they made this decision "after the malpractice scare a while back," but she never explains what the fuck she's talking about. i kept waiting for some explanation as to how a book that is billed as a "midwife's journey" ends with the midwife in question not delivering babies anymore, but this entire section (which was interminable) was just about how patsy & tom hit a rough patch personally & professionally. their clinic became known as the place to go in order to get a prescription for painkillers & it dragged tom down to the point that their marriage was threatened. there's LOTS of talk about how they own two huge houses now & how they have struggled to balance their current lives & professions with the ideals of their youth--although there is very little that explains or shows exactly how they are doing that. they come across as stereotypical ex-hippies that went professional & live comfortable lives of blithe class privilege. not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that, but...skinnydipping in the lake & listening to the grateful dead every now & again is a pretty paltry example of "living your ideals".

& then the book ends. i don't know. there was a whole lot of whining in here, but not a whole lot of midwifery. i am very relieved that i picked this up at the library & didn't spend money on it. if you really love books about midwifery or hippies, i'd recommend checking this out of the library, but everyone else can probably give it a pass. (less)

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Jul 08, 2011 Viviane Crystal rated it 5 of 5 stars

Patricia Harman's second memoir tells the story of her hippie years and later her years as a married woman developing and practicing the science and art of midwifery. For those old enough to remember, we recognize in her character a true hippie who protests the Vietnam war, rejects everything about living a wealthy lifestyle that destroys the environment, and protests any forum that would be considered traditional or conservative. It's a time when draft-dodgers are running to Canada or sticking...more Patricia Harman's second memoir tells the story of her hippie years and later her years as a married woman developing and practicing the science and art of midwifery. For those old enough to remember, we recognize in her character a true hippie who protests the Vietnam war, rejects everything about living a wealthy lifestyle that destroys the environment, and protests any forum that would be considered traditional or conservative. It's a time when draft-dodgers are running to Canada or sticking around to protest not only war but the development of nuclear arms or projects. Yes, the lifestyle is free and the possibilities seem endless!

Patricia Harman performs a wonderful balancing act within this well-crafted memoir! Pages fly by in which the reader seems to be right there with Patricia, Stacy, and her son, Mica, in the wilds of a Minnesota farm, hating and loving the vicious cold and snow in one moment and treasuring the rich colors, flowers, and animals seen in a place far from civilization. Or one is there singing community songs while sharing work and play in good and bad times. It's risky business, however, and the onset of illness and running out of money can turn one's Utopia into a fearful nightmare!

As time passes, the causes' force seems to lose potency, and their commune friends are leaving for other livelier places. But after a painful break with Stacy, Patricia meets Tom, a man who seems more level-headed and whose passion for medicine is equally shared. They both study in their respective fields, with financial help, get married, and begin careers in ob/gyn and midwifery often fraught with problems that could destroy them in the blink of an eye. It's the early days of wanting natural childbirth and many aspiring mothers lack the medical care or intelligence to know both the risks and the benefits of giving birth in such a way. Add to that the obvious opposition of the accepted medical world!

Arms Wide Open...is a well-written, wonderful read that deserves a large audience both for its excellent writing style and for the historical development of an unknown medical phenomenon depicted so intelligently, scientifically, and naturally! Truly Superb, Ms. Harman!(less)

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Jun 24, 2011 McGuffy Morris rated it 5 of 5 stars

A Midwife’s Journey

By Patricia Harman

In Patricia Harman’s second book she draws on her journals of many years as a midwife. This is actually the prequel to her memoir, The Blue Cotton Gown. In this book she reveals what brought her into midwifery. She tells of her early years, living in the wilds of Minnesota in a log cabin that she helped to build. After several years of living this way, she longs for a human connection.

Patricia moves into a commune with like-minded people of the counter-cultur...more

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Jun 04, 2011 Catherine rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

There's a great deal about this book that didn't make sense to me. The structure - three sections, with long years between each one - gives the book a disjointed feel that it never really overcomes. How Patricia and her family members get from one moment to the other is never really explained, a situation that's particular jarring when it comes to the third section. Patricia is an out-and-out hippy for parts one and two of the book, but by part three she's living in a gated community in a large,...more There's a great deal about this book that didn't make sense to me. The structure - three sections, with long years between each one - gives the book a disjointed feel that it never really overcomes. How Patricia and her family members get from one moment to the other is never really explained, a situation that's particular jarring when it comes to the third section. Patricia is an out-and-out hippy for parts one and two of the book, but by part three she's living in a gated community in a large, expensive house. How did that happen? How did she and her husband square that with their older beliefs? The author makes a joke at one point about spraying Round-Up on her drive to get rid of weeds, when she used to strive to live as lightly on the earth as possible, but it's a joke that falls flat. How do you end up spraying Round-Up after years of conscious subsistence living? Similarly, by section three, Patricia is no longer delivering babies, explained briefly as a decision based on the economics of medical insurance. But how can that be? How does someone who believes birth should be handled by women making conscious choices about their bodies give that up? Much seems tied to the fact that Patricia and her husband run a private practice - the insurance, for example, was too expensive for them to carry - but what matters more? The private practice, or the commitment to women and birth? I could have been persuaded that the practice was meaningful and necessary to them both, but I was never given the chance to sign on as a reader - the events had already happened when the narrative of part three began, and they were given short shrift from then on.

I never particularly bought the belief system that informed parts one and two - there's something unsettling to me about a group of white folks choosing to cut themselves off from society and living in poverty when they have other options, especially when those white folks are surrounded by other people who have no choice about the dire financial situations they're in. I also felt very uncomfortable by little moments of cultural appropriation throughout, be it comments about how "the Chippewa" "melt" into the woods (!?) or borrowing from other spiritual systems without acknowledgement of the complicated imbalances of power at work in those acts. Not a book I'd recommend.

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May 10, 2011 Fran rated it 5 of 5 stars

Arms Wide Open
Author: Patsy Harman
Reviewed by Fran Lewis

Living in the 60’s and 70’s were turbulent times. Imagine living in cabin without any electricity, devoid of many modern conveniences with a young child and your first life partner. Imagine being happy. Take a trip back to that time period along with author Patsy Harmon as she shares her life with the reader, takes us on a career and life journey a time when Woodstock came about, hippies were prominent, the music controversial, the times un...more

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Mar 16, 2011 Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was really fascinated by this book, although I have not read her previous title yet. The descriptions of her primitive, pioneer-type life as a hippie in the North Woods of Minnesota was at once absorbing and somewhat horrifying. Harman never articulates a really clear rationale for why they have gone to such extremes (I mean there's saving on fossil fuel and then there's grinding your own wheat with a mortar and pestel in a shack miles from a road) so it's a bit arresting, like we've just been...more I was really fascinated by this book, although I have not read her previous title yet. The descriptions of her primitive, pioneer-type life as a hippie in the North Woods of Minnesota was at once absorbing and somewhat horrifying. Harman never articulates a really clear rationale for why they have gone to such extremes (I mean there's saving on fossil fuel and then there's grinding your own wheat with a mortar and pestel in a shack miles from a road) so it's a bit arresting, like we've just been dropped into this foreign lifestyle for no particular reason. I am not of the "hippie" generation myself, but I benefit from some of their innovations, so it was fascinating to me to see how these folks lived at that time. The book merits a high rating just for this glimpse, and for Harman's reverential, poetic descriptions of her encounters with nature.

On the other hand, there were several things I found rather frustrating about the book. For one thing, major changes seem to happen in Harman's life without her giving us even a smidgen as insight as to why. She's shacked up with her boyfriend and they have a child together, then suddenly she's over that and married to another guy and has another baby already. The part in between is glossed over so quickly you'd almost miss it, and so it seems like a sudden, incoherent jolt. The worst of these jolts happens when we suddenly skip over 20 years of Harman's life and land in 2008. I discovered when I came online to review the book that this must be the span of time covered in her earlier volume, but the jump is still startling and it really breaks the rhythm of the story in an unpleasant way. I think with a little better editing and work on the narrative, this book could have stood on its own, but as it is, it seems like it's meant to be read only after you've read the first book.

The most frustrating thing, however, is that Harman seems to have really limited insight as to why things happen in her life the way they do. Time after time she misses opportunities, bungles attempts at starting something good, because she simply fails to plan ahead, for instance. I get the feeling Harman is something of an unreliable narrator, like she has some "stuff" she's not owning, as her generation might put it. Instead she makes it sound like the people around her keep making bizarre and upsetting choices, forgetting her own role in the context. I wish her editor had prodded her a little more to examine the "whys" behind these sometimes disjointed memories. (less)

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Sep 10, 2012 Gaile rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography, non-fiction

Patricia Harman chronicles her young life as a revolutionary hippie trying to live in the old way as a revolt against polluting the environment but life catches up and as time goes on, she becomes an LPN, a nurse midwife while her husband becomes a Gyn,OB. The birth scenes are great to read about as I never had that experience at having a home birth. Her later life in a modern clinic with all the complications of running it is not so good nor is it so good to read about the practice wearing her...more

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Mar 02, 2012 Samantha rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was an interesting read for my generation as it follows a single family's account of how they progressed from their hippie lifestyle to a more conventional existence. Given the numbers of flower children at the height of the movement and the seeming depth of their belief, I have always wondered why there aren't more communes in the US. While this book cannot speak for the entire movement, its tracing of the evolution of one family (through the eyes of one woman in particular) does provide s...more

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May 12, 2011 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

Patsy Harman has led a very unusual life. In her twenties and thirties, she lived in the backwoods of Appalachia with her lover Stacy and their young son Mica. As self-proclaimed hippies, Patsy and her band of friends eat organically, protest environmental pollution and attend demonstrations against the Vietnam war. Living out in the deep woods of Minnesota, the small family lives simply, without electricity, indoor plumbing or running water. They grow and tend a subsidence garden and fill the c...more Patsy Harman has led a very unusual life. In her twenties and thirties, she lived in the backwoods of Appalachia with her lover Stacy and their young son Mica. As self-proclaimed hippies, Patsy and her band of friends eat organically, protest environmental pollution and attend demonstrations against the Vietnam war. Living out in the deep woods of Minnesota, the small family lives simply, without electricity, indoor plumbing or running water. They grow and tend a subsidence garden and fill the chinks in their cabin by hand. But life out in the wilderness away from everyone eventually proves too hard for Patsy, so she leaves her son and lover on the homestead and begins to travel. When she finally ends up living in an intended community, Patsy finds that she’s far happier and falls in love with Tom, one of the community’s residents.

Life is hard out in the woods, but with many pairs of hands to help with the raising of children and the supporting of the commune, Patsy finds peace. That is, until one by one the commune’s residents begin moving away, either to their own farms or to the wider city. With the mass exodus of the commune’s residents, Patsy finds herself alone with Tom and their two boys and she’s not happy about it. Having been present as a birth aid for may of the rural women of the area, Patsy soon decides to take a chance and become a midwife. As she travels from residence to residence delivering babies, Patsy discovers she has a talent for the work and a love and respect for the women she meets. This leads her to discover that she would like to be a midwife in a more professional capacity so she begins to study nursing, alongside her husband Tom, who is studying to become a paramedic.

Fast forward about 30 years to 2009. After Tom and Patsy have opened up their own practice specializing in pelvic pain patients, things begin to become rocky, not only with their practice but with their marriage. The life they’re living is a far cry from their past, and soon Patsy must once again reinvent herself. She must also help her husband work through some crippling allegations that have been made against him. But above it all, she remains the same peace-seeking and caring woman, capable of helping women in many ways, leading others to brand her as “the wise woman.” This is Patsy’s story, from her humble days working the land and protesting the Vietnam War to the more comfortable yet sometimes difficult journey through the modern world. It’s a memoir that won’t soon be forgotten.

When the book opens, Patsy is describing life on the homestead with her lover Stacy and their infant son Mica. The winter is coming and they have only a short amount of time to chink their cabin against the frigid temperatures. Patsy is unhappy with the endless toil required to keep her family fed and safe, but Stacy doesn’t see the reason why Patsy is so unhappy. Her hours are filled with gardening and the boiling of cloth diapers, repairing the house and cooking meals for her family. Life is demanding in this environment, and Stacy isn’t one who is easy to communicate with. Patsy tries to explain that she would rather live in an intended community, but Stacy doesn’t see her point. He’s rooted to this cabin and refuses to leave. I could feel Patsy’s dissatisfaction and see that she wanted more than a rural life had to offer. The constant pressure of being all alone with her small family, miles away from civilization, was something that Patsy just couldn’t deal with. I can’t imagine what life must have been like for her. In a way, I idealized the life Patsy was living, for often I’ve thought what a joy it would be to be isolated in a cabin in the woods. But reading about the reality of backbreaking toil every day, with no one to call on for help, opened my eyes about the life of a rural woman far from civilization. Patsy longs to be part of the peaceful movement to stop the war and to live sustainably, and I think this is partly what drove her to leave her family and travel, along with her need for community. She didn’t stay away for long though, and eventually, finding herself among an intended community, she decides that this is the lifestyle for her. Eventually Stacy and their son join her, but her relationship with Stacy has ended and she’s now married to Tom. Living in a huge farmhouse with a handful of others is what Patsy had been hoping for, and she relishes the time spent with the others and the sharing of responsibility for the land and the homestead.

Soon Patsy is travelling all over Appalachia to help women give birth, and it’s clear that this is what she’s meant to be doing. Patsy delivers hundreds of babies naturally from the comfort of the mother’s homes, and as she lovingly describes the births she attends, she elucidates on the differences between each delivery, both the effortless and the difficult. I had thought that these would be my favorite sections of the book, but in reality, I found the entirety of Patsy’s journey to be fascinating. It’s so markedly different from the way I live, and reading her anecdotes of discovering a wild bear in her yard or being stricken with intestinal worms was just as interesting as hearing about the delicacies of an unusually difficult birth. I never tired of reading about Patsy’s life and found myself admiring her for not only her ideals, but for her tenacity and grace as well.

In the third section of the book, Patsy and Tom are leading an altogether different life. Living in a spacious and luxurious home, they are both deeply involved with the reproductive care of the women they treat. Patsy is no longer a midwife due to broader restrictions and unexpected changes in the field, but she’s still able to counsel women and help them at her husband’s practice. She now has three grown sons who have left the nest and started families of their own, and she has become careworn and anxious. In a way, I believe Patsy’s worries were influenced by her living a life where she now had so much more to lose. Having left the security of the land and her other companions long behind, she must again rely on herself in a world that’s more dangerous and corporate-minded than the one she lived in years ago. Though she is much changed, she reflects back on her time as a midwife in Appalachia and comes to accept that, though she is not birthing babies anymore, her work with women is just as important, if somewhat less satisfying to her. Unable to help Tom during his crisis, Patsy becomes afraid and despondent, eventually cornering Tom and trying to work things out. It’s with both a sense of joy for the new resolutions that she shares with Tom and an underlying sadness for all that has changed that Patsy begins to look forward again, into the face of the unknown.

I found this book to be remarkably compelling. Reading about Patsy’s life out in the wilderness was both interesting and enlightening in a way I didn’t expect. Much of what Patsy went through will be unfamiliar to readers who sit comfortably in their houses with every luxury at their fingertips, but sharing in the journey of a woman who has lived a very unconventional life should prove to be edifying in many ways. This is not a book that tells a heartwarming and easy story. Often the life we are invited to look into is full of hardship and heartache, but it’s a story told with an unusual sense of urgency about a lifestyle that is slowly becoming obsolete. It’s a book that I think will speak to the hearts of women everywhere, despite their very different circumstances. Highly recommended.
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Oct 16, 2012 Chris Spiegel rated it 5 of 5 stars

Having just finished, and enjoyed, Harman's novel, The Midwife of Hope River, I was anxious to read her memoir, Arms Wide Open: A Midwife's Journey. The memoir begins when Harman, unable to sleep and wandering the house, uncovers her dusty journals. She begins to look back upon her decades as a rural, and later hospital-based, midwife and Cerified Nurse Midwife. Interlaced throughout is Patricia's lyrical, nature-centered voice. Whether she is describing her encounters with curious bears, tape w...more

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Feb 28, 2013 Allison Rockwell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, nonfiction

I picked this book up at the library after hearing an interview with Patricia Harman on Iowa Public Radio.

Almost every birth story in this book brought tears to my eyes. I must just be at that age where that happens.

Harman has a wonderful voice, and it was fascinating to read about "hippie life" recorded while it was happening, and not just from memory (the book is based off of her own journals from the 60s and 70s). I have a couple of aging hippie friends now that I can really picture in this...more

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Jul 01, 2011 Melinda rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is an engaging, thoughtful memoir, focusing primarily on the author’s life in hippie culture, living as off-grid as possible, first with her partner and later as part of a commune. Patricia Harman tells the story of her introduction into midwifery, starting with her first time giving birth, in one of the few hospitals that wouldn’t tie down a woman to the bed, and through her journey of helping other women give birth. Harman’s account of living a rural, low-energy life is engaging, and when...more This is an engaging, thoughtful memoir, focusing primarily on the author’s life in hippie culture, living as off-grid as possible, first with her partner and later as part of a commune. Patricia Harman tells the story of her introduction into midwifery, starting with her first time giving birth, in one of the few hospitals that wouldn’t tie down a woman to the bed, and through her journey of helping other women give birth. Harman’s account of living a rural, low-energy life is engaging, and whenever I put the book down, my mind kept wandering back to her story. But very jarringly, the book ends with Harman and her husband’s sudden return to a self-professed `yuppie’ lifestyle. It’s hard to understand what change occurred for them to go from living a low-impact life of poverty in solidarity with the third world to using Bluetooth and owning a vacation home. What’s even more discordant is the way Harman fails to address or explain this sudden shift. Overall, the book is an interesting read, but it would be far more effective if Harman either focused on the first part of her life or actually showed the transition between trudging miles through the snow one day and chatting on her cell phone the next. Otherwise, it’s hard to see where the characters are really coming from. The memoir could use some more character development, and I would also be interested in more backstory showing how the author and her peers were drawn to living as anti-war, self-sufficient homesteaders. I was bothered by some ignorant remarks about race and trans people. Considering how recently the book was published, I would expect the author to be more aware of prejudices beyond those addressed by 1970s white feminism. Despite its flaws, I would recommend this book to anyone interested in homesteading and/or midwifery, because it does give a good glimpse into the author’s experiences in these areas.

Note: I received this book as part of the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.(less)

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Dec 31, 2012 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, own, signed-copy

I am in a unique position to review a book by a woman who has become my friend, and it was fascinating getting to know her through her memoir. Harman writes with confidence about her unique life, first as a hippie activist attempting to live a sustainable life in rural Minnesota, then as a part of a commune in Ohio as a young mother with a growing family, and finally as an empty-nester dealing with the drama of working within the medical establishment. This memoir is really Harman’s reflection o...more

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Apr 13, 2012 Maesha rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was an exquisite read. I was looking for something unlike anything I've read before and this book was just that. It is the exploration of a woman's life from her young hippie days as a midwife to her later years as a nurse. It inspired me in that during her hippie years, this woman was able to live without a lot of thing we deem today to be necessary accommodation. I was never bored with this and I didn't hesitate to pick it up every chance I got and finished it in about a day and a ha...more

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Sep 23, 2011 Dianne rated it 3 of 5 stars

Enjoyed it, but....

Don't waste your money by buying it; but do read it from the library.

As a prior reviewer noted, how did she jump from the communal-living hippie to the gated expensive house lifestyle? How did they go from chopping wood and singing around the campfire, to the structured rigors of medical school and residency training? What was their parenting philosophy as they raised three teenaged sons who went on to graduate from college (apparently Ivy League for at least one of them, from...more

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Dec 18, 2012 Lisa Zink rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was one of the finer memoirs I have read in the past year. As the world unfolds around us we it is hard to stay true to ourselves and what we believe. Although this book is billed as "a midwife's journey", I would have to say there is a lot more to it than that. Patsy finding and answering her calling to midwifery is paramount to much more - it's the celebration of finding one's passion and purpose in this world and all of the small steps we need to take to get where we would like to b...more

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May 19, 2011 Megan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2011, memoir, nonfiction

I know it's cheesy, but I love her Author's Note: "Arms Wide Open is not just for those interested in midwifery or feminism. It's for anyone, of any gender, young or old, who cares about the earth and social justice. We each have our own song. This is mine and I sing it for you."

Other quotes I like so far:

"By 10:00 a.m. I was five centimeters, and Stacy joked that I might have the baby by noon. Then progress slowed. The nurses wouldn't let me walk, so I threw off my blue hospital gown and swayed...more

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Nov 11, 2011 Holly rated it 2 of 5 stars

2.5 stars. I was hoping, since this was written from her journals, that it would give some story about how she and her husband went from being hippies on a commune to being an OBGYN and a Certified Nurse Midwife and having 2 lakeside homes. She skips over years of that transition and it just feels like reading somebody's life story with about 25 years missing in the middle. I was hoping it would fill in where Blue Cotton Gown was lacking, but was disappointed.

I did find the commune years interes...more

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Apr 08, 2013 Kathy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Quotable:
It wasn't supposed to happen. I never meant it to happen.

I've had other lovers, beautiful and exciting men, but this one makes me so happy.

Sometimes when there's nothing special to be happy about, except that you have your friends around you and no one's lost in a blizzard, you just have to celebrate... They are my family and I want to stop life right now, hold it just as it is.

TV and movies portray hippies and protestors as kids going crazy with love and drugs, but in reality there was...more Quotable:
It wasn't supposed to happen. I never meant it to happen.

I've had other lovers, beautiful and exciting men, but this one makes me so happy.

Sometimes when there's nothing special to be happy about, except that you have your friends around you and no one's lost in a blizzard, you just have to celebrate... They are my family and I want to stop life right now, hold it just as it is.

TV and movies portray hippies and protestors as kids going crazy with love and drugs, but in reality there was pain everywhere. Pain, on our families' parts, when they lost their children to a world they didn't understand. And pain, on our part, when our parents rejected us for not believing what they believed and not wanting to live as they lived.
Pain when we saw the photos of the war on TV. Pain when people we loved were put in jail for protesting or killed as soldiers in the jungles of Vietnam. We put flowers in our hair, partly to celebrate and partly because we'd be too sad if we didn't.

Listening to the water bubble under the ice, I follow the little creek down to the roaring river. Two men in wetsuits and helmets carrying kayaks pass me, heading for a small icy beach. The shore is covered with glistening pebbles, and they slip and slide as they get to the water. ""Having fun?" I ask, surprised to see them out in the cold.
"You bet," the shorter man, with a straight nose and a strong jar grins...
As I watch from the rocky ledge at the side of the trail, the men settle themselves in the low boats, one red, one blue. The breathtaking whitewater rages over boulders, catches the light in the spray. Where the spray hits the rocks it adds to the ice, but most of the water moves too fast to freeze.
The guys ready their paddles, then expertly maneuver their tiny boats into the current, catch the rapids, and race away. I laugh and clap my hands like my five-year-old granddaughter, Lissie. The men are so beautiful and brave. The kayaks get smaller and smaller, until they disappear where the majestic, possibly toxic, river turns north.(less)

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Nov 14, 2011 Mary rated it 3 of 5 stars

I, like several other reviewers, was under the impression that this book was going to be about Patsy's birthing stories as a midwife. While the title includes, 'A Midwife's Journey', I didn't know it was going to be so literal. Most of the book is about Patsy's hippie life--living off the land and leaving as little environmental impact as possible behind. While I found this interesting, it was a bit of a struggle for me to get through the book. It wasn't until I was halfway through that I really...more I, like several other reviewers, was under the impression that this book was going to be about Patsy's birthing stories as a midwife. While the title includes, 'A Midwife's Journey', I didn't know it was going to be so literal. Most of the book is about Patsy's hippie life--living off the land and leaving as little environmental impact as possible behind. While I found this interesting, it was a bit of a struggle for me to get through the book. It wasn't until I was halfway through that I really got hooked and couldn't put the book down. Throughout the book you learn about the hardships of living the way she and her friends, husband and children did. But with the hardships, comes the beauty in the simplistic lifestyle they follow. At times I felt jealous that her and her family were able to go outside and see millions of stars in the night sky--something most people in the city most likely don't see. Also, near the end of the book when she talks about the moonlight, and then goes skinny dipping in the middle of night with her husband--the way she wrote it was beautiful and touching! I don't know that I could live as rustic as she has, but there are some things I can take away from this book and adapt to my own life.

Closer to the end of the book she starts describing some of the births she had attended, and babies she delivered. This is when I got hooked into the book. She encounters various types of women including fellow hippies, women with low income, and addicts. She also experiences the joy of a successful birth, and also the pain when a child is lost (not necessarily during the birth). These are the stories I was hoping the book would be about.

Because the book was a compilation of Patsy's various entries from journals she kept over the years, at times I got lost and felt that the writing was a little choppy. A few times she would mention certain people or events, and I had clue who she was talking about because it's as though she assumed the reader knew who she was talking to. Of course, since her writings are from her journal, she would know who she is talking about, but not us. Usually at some point the reader would get filled in on who or what, but it can get confusing at times.

In spite of the disappointment, I still found this an interesting read. It's not what I was thinking it was going to be, yet I feel as though this book will stay with me. I do plan to check out her other book, The Blue Cotton Gown because I think it is more what I was expecting this book to be.

(Review is also posted on LibraryThing.com)(less)

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Apr 06, 2012 Deborah Gray rated it 3 of 5 stars

I wasnt' sure what to think about this before I began. I love memoir when the life in question has enough action and drama in it to read like a novel. This wasn't one of those. This is a quiet account of a midwife's journey from free love flower power hippie living off the grid to a more conventional life of midwife married to an OB/GYN. It is possible to care for the land, love our neighbours and live a conscientious existence and still have electricity and running water.

There are no extraordin...more

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Jul 23, 2011 Barb Terpstra rated it 3 of 5 stars

I had always thought that living off the land would be somewhat romantic and idyllic. This book showed me that it's a lot of hard work! Patricia choose an interesting life - building a log home with her bare hands, living off the land, no electricity or plumbing. Sure, the walks in the country and the appreciation for nature are still there, but man, that's a lot of work.

This story was about more than being just a midwife. It's about being self-sufficient, it's about commune living, the good an...more

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Jun 02, 2011 Abbey rated it 4 of 5 stars

I won this from goodreads!

This was a great memoir. Harmon lead a very interesting life. This book is a map of how she became a midwife, starting with her living off the land as a hippie with her partner and love child. I found myself thinking, "Will my life ever be interesting enough to write a book about?" But, I believe everyone's life is interesting and I always ask too many questions so I really enjoyed this book!

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Sep 28, 2011 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

Always enjoy stories told by midwives... the hippie aspect was interesting too. I look forward to reading the other book by the same author. Just FYI to anyone that might be interested in reading, there is the occasional foul language that accompanies hardship. Oh, and have tissues. Patsy is an amazingly strong woman, and really enjoyed watching her skills and confidence develop.

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Sep 09, 2012 Suzi rated it 3 of 5 stars

Interesting memoir of the author's life as a honest-to-goodness, living-off-the-land hippie/commune dweller. Which brought her to birth first, then training to be a midwife. How she and her like-minded, MD husband came to be disillusioned with modern medical practice. Not so much a reflection on working with birthing women, but on her own transformation through midlife.

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Dec 31, 2011 Kathleen marked it as to-read

Entering giveaway as I lay just feet away from my daughter's bed waiting for her to deliver her second child with an outstanding midwife group. She, herself was born at home with a doctor/midwife group. I worked for that practice for 12 years. So grateful there are people who still care about woman and the proper birthing of babies. Looking forward to reading thus book.

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Jun 17, 2011 Gwen rated it 4 of 5 stars

I like people's stories - seeing how they lived, what they thought. This story takes me way back as it begins with the author during her hippy days. There are a few midwifery/birth stories but mostly its about how a hippy lived, grew and struggled through her ideal and became a certified nurse midwife. She shares honestly about her life, husband, and children.

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Feb 22, 2012 Sheridan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, pregnancy-birth

I enjoyed this memoir of Patricia's path to midwifery. It was fascinating reading about her life as a hippie completely living off the land. I loved seeing how she was guided into midwifery and the path that led her there.

I also appreciated that it followed to her today "after" catching babies. The reflections of her life were a joy to read.

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Dec 07, 2012 Josephine Ensign rated it 2 of 5 stars

Tried to like this book. While there were parts that were interesting (mostly her development as a nurse midwife/descriptions of her interactions with--composite--patients), the whole hippie-chick in W.VA motif got irritating. Also, the format of the book with massive time jumps back and forth without enough time tags was annoying.

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Jan 20, 2013 Jennifer Thompson rated it 5 of 5 stars

An amazing story of woman, her progression from hippie mom to grandmother. I really enjoyed reading about her experiences and her loving, thoughtful way of helping to bring babies into the world while always being so respectful of her patients needs and wants.

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About Patricia Harman

Patricia Harman has spent over thirty years caring for women as a midwife, first as a lay-midwife, delivering babies in cabins and on communal farms in West Virginia, and later as a nurse-midwife in teaching hospitals and in a community hospital birthing center.

She spent over a decade in the sixties and seventies in her wild youth living in rural communes in Washington (Tolstoy Farm), Connecticut

...more Patricia Harman has spent over thirty years caring for women as a midwife, first as a lay-midwife, delivering babies in cabins and on communal farms in West Virginia, and later as a nurse-midwife in teaching hospitals and in a community hospital birthing center.

She spent over a decade in the sixties and seventies in her wild youth living in rural communes in Washington (Tolstoy Farm), Connecticut (The Committee for Non-Violent Action) and Minnesota (Free Folk). During the Vietnam years, she and her husband, Tom Harman, traveled the country, often hitch-hiking, as they looked for a place to settle. In 1974 they purchased a farm with a group of like-minded friends on top of a ridge in Roane County, West Virginia. Here on the commune, they built log houses, dug a pond, grew and preserved their own food and started the Growing Tree Natural Foods Cooperative.

It was during this time that Patsy attended her first home birth, more or less by accident. "Some people are destined," she has written. "I was staying at a woman friend's commune when she went into labor and I ended up delivering my first baby." Soon after, Harman traveled to Austin, Texas to train with a collective of home-birth midwives. When she returned, she became one of the founding members of The West Virginia Cooperative of Midwives. Her passion for caring for women and babies led her to become an RN as the first step in getting licensed as certified nurse midwife. In 1985, with her children, a yowling cat and her husband she traveled north, pulling a broken down trailer to begin her training at the University of Minnesota where she received her MSN in Nurse-Midwifery.

For the past twenty years, Ms. Harman has been a nurse-midwife on the faculty of The Ohio State University, Case Western Reserve University and most recently West Virginia University. In 1998 she went into private practice with her husband, Tom, an OB/Gyn, in Morgantown, West Virginia. Here they devoted their lives to caring for women and bringing babies into the world in a gentle way.

When, in 2003, the cost of liability insurance for Obstetrics sky-rocketed from $70,000 a year to $110,000, the Harman's decided to give up deliveries. Though many loyal patients grieved the loss of their favorite mid-wife/physician team, the change in life style gave the author time to begin writing her first book, The Blue Cotton Gown: A Midwife's Memoir.

Patricia Harman still lives and works with her husband, Ob/Gyn Thomas Harman, in Morgantown, West Virginia at their clinic, Partners in Women's Health Care. Though she no longer attends births, she provides care for women in early pregnancy and through-out the life span. She brings to this work the same dedication and compassion she brought to obstetrics."

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