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74th out of 415 books
—
478 voters
Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames
It was under the bodhi tree in India twenty-five centuries ago that Buddha achieved the insight that three states of mind were the source of all our unhappiness: wrong knowing, obsessive desire, and anger. All are difficult, but in one instant of anger�one of the most powerful emotions�lives can be ruined, and health and spiritual development can be destroyed. With exquisi...more
Paperback, 227 pages
Published
September 3rd 2002
by Riverhead Trade
(first published August 1st 2001)
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Feb 27, 2008
Kate
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Anyone who struggles with "negative" feelings (especially anger or anxiety)
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This book was recommended to me by my therapist when I was having serious anxiety issues, as well as relationship issues. I keep coming back to it and loaning it out, because it may be the best book I've ever read on relating to "negative" feelings.
Thich Nhat Hanh proposes that anger, and other emotions we perceive as negative, are in fact our way of letting ourselves know that something needs taking care of. Just as we would not ignore signs that something such as our liver needs taking care of...more
Thich Nhat Hanh proposes that anger, and other emotions we perceive as negative, are in fact our way of letting ourselves know that something needs taking care of. Just as we would not ignore signs that something such as our liver needs taking care of...more
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i remember the first time i read a chapter by thich nhat hanh, 5 years ago after a jazz camp experience in litchfield connecticut. the way it made my heart feel, my body, my associations... that spirit was totally rekindled when i read this book. his ideas are so repetitive, which is so enlightening for someone who is looking to transform her emotional states.
this book is fantastic. it's not just about anger, it's about all emotions that might be causing some sort of intensity (whether good or...more
this book is fantastic. it's not just about anger, it's about all emotions that might be causing some sort of intensity (whether good or...more
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I liked this book. Debated between 3 and 4 stars, but settled for 3. It was very centered on achieving mindfulness. It gave a lot of good advice I thought - but most of it I have read or heard before in my reading material and just about Buddhism in general. It is always a good reminder though of how to live a peaceful life. The first chapter was about "you are what you eat" - which I found quite interesting especially after just reading "skinny bitch" before this - but just him talking about th...more
The man I love broke up with me the week I stumbled upon this book in a crowded shop in an unfamiliar city. I spent a half hour enthralled, slowly gravitating to a corner where I quietly cried. This simply written book spoke volumes to me, evoking memories of the many times I had unleashed my anger upon my wonderful ex-boyfriend, selfless family members, and supportive friends. It helped me recognize the depth of the unnecessary, cruel pain I had wrought upon myself and others, especially my lov...more
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I really enjoy this author. When I was down I looked around for anything by TNH that I had not already read and found this book on my self. Even reading just a few pages, helps me regain a better outlook on life -- even if anger was not the emotion I was feeling at the time.
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I consider myself a fairly angry/high strung person, so I've been looking for good books that address this emotion. This shows that anger exists in everyone but some are better than others at "taking care of it" when it arises. He's pretty generous with metaphors that help you visualize anger, though you might get them mixed up after a while (I take care of my "baby" anger, like a seed I water in myself, like a potato boiling in a pot, etc. etc.). The content is a little repetitive, but maybe it...more
I started reading this as research for an Anger Management workshop I will be presenting. While Buddhist in nature, I felt the tips and techniques offered were very valid and useful. The most important thing I took away from this is that anger is part of who all of us are, it's not something that is done by someone else to us. In order to alleviate anger, we have to accept it, embrace it, and recognize that it is there. There is a reason we are feeling it, and we must determine what that reason...more
I cannot say how much I am grateful for having been given this book. I asked for a book on Anger, and my Friend from Quaker Meeting came back with this. I opened it during Meeting, and, in the way that Meeting so often works, I fell on words that I needed at that moment, and I could feel them working in me. I read the book once, slowly, mindfully, like a piece of the most delicious cheesecake. I practiced each new thing I read about as I read it. It is making a difference. Then, when I got to th...more
I chose to read this book because anger is an emotion that may destroy our personal and business relationships if left unchecked. It is particularly poignant to control ones anger in a leadership position as decisions should be made logically and not based on negative emotions. Besides, allowing anger to control the personality, anger enforces a negative mindset that is counterproductive and ominous at best to a leadership role. In addition, anger has been proven to be unhealthy both physically...more
I saw one reviewer who said her therapist had given it to her. I am a therapist and I have photocopied several passages and had clients read certain chapters. As with many of his books, after I read it for awhile I come away with the same feeling I have after I meditate - centered, grounded, peaceful (usually, anyway). Even if anger is not a huge concern, this book holds wisdom for everyday living. Better yet, all proceeds from his books go to his monastery - I love that.
I am not feeling especially angry, but I have noticed in general that a lot of people are less polite, more quickly lose their temper, or just unhappy. I can't read the newspaper or watch the news anymore because there are just too many stories of violence and aggression, really absurd aggression. I feel like news has become too sensationalistic and these outbursts of violence and aggression are as if people understand that they are on a stage and making a shocking display for attention or to gi...more
This book is poignant and has helped me understand anger as an emotion and how to better acknowledge when I experience anger and react to my anger in a peaceful and calm way. Yesterday, FBI Director Louis Freeh released a comprehensive report on the Sandusky case. He confirmed what Hank and I suspected about Joe Paterno, who practiced a willing disregard of the safety of children despite federal law requiring him and other university officials to report even suspicions of child abuse. According...more
"The self is made of non-self elements; therefore, understanding ourselves is our practice. Our father is a non-self element. We say our father is not us, but without our father, we cannot exist. So he is fully present in our body and inour mind. He is us. Thus, if you understand yourself, your whole self, you understand that you are your father-he is not outside of you."
This is one paragraph from this book in its entirety. Need I say more?
This is one paragraph from this book in its entirety. Need I say more?
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Điều khiển cơn giận luôn là một thách thức đối với bất cứ ai. Thiền và chánh niệm là một cách hiệu quả để có thể hoá giải cơn giận, biến cơn giận thành sức mạnh nội tâm cho ta. Xin chia sẻ một vài ghi chú, trích dẫn mà tôi thích bên dưới.
- Nếu một cái nhà đang cháy thì việc trước nhất phải làm là chữa cháy căn nhà, chứ không phải chạy theo đuổi bắt người đốt nhà... Vậy thì khi giận, nếu tiếp tục đối đầu, tranh cãi với người làm cho ta giận, nếu chỉ muốn trừng phạt người ấy thì ta đã hành động y...more
- Nếu một cái nhà đang cháy thì việc trước nhất phải làm là chữa cháy căn nhà, chứ không phải chạy theo đuổi bắt người đốt nhà... Vậy thì khi giận, nếu tiếp tục đối đầu, tranh cãi với người làm cho ta giận, nếu chỉ muốn trừng phạt người ấy thì ta đã hành động y...more
I have yet to read a Thich Nhat Hang book that didn't give me something useful to take away. In this case, he explains how to view your anger as an organic part of you--not to turn yourself into a battlefield, but to greet whatever emotion comes up. " 'Hello, my jealousy; hello, my fear; hello, my irritation and anger. I know you are there, and I am here for you. I will take good care of you and embrace you with mindfulness.' Breathing in, we greet our habit energy, and breathin gout we smile to...more
"When a person's speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply." This simple statement moved me, but I was also irritated when I saw that the friend I'd loaned this book to had underlined it. This in turn made me laugh. As I read this book yesterday afternoon, somewhat desperate to make concrete plans for the weekend TNH used a metaphor of a basement as our feelings and keeping busy in the living room to avoid them. I was grateful for this valuable insight, and recognized that...more
This is not something I will ever "finish" reading. It is, like Taming the Tiger Within , a work I will return to again and again when I need solace and quiet wisdom to guide my energies and soothe the chatter in my brain. Thich Nhat Hanh gently challenges us to engage in mindfulness in everything that we do. Only through mindfulness can we let go of the detritus that poisons our life- the noise and distraction of ambition, expectations, material possessions and technology- and embrace the peace...more
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In a way this book could have easily been called Happiness. This book does a wonderful job of helping one look into their own mind and observe the seeds of anger and other unpleasant feelings in ways they might not have considered before, and ways to eventually replace these feeling with more positive ones.
Some readers may find it redundant that he repeatedly explains that the answers come down to needing to practice more mindfulness and meditation, but he also is so positive about everything th...more
Some readers may find it redundant that he repeatedly explains that the answers come down to needing to practice more mindfulness and meditation, but he also is so positive about everything th...more
If you are the sort of person who, while waiting tables for a vacationing family wants to strangle them as they bore you with yet another tale of how young Samantha learned her multiplication tables in second grade or if you want to run over the neighbor's cat because it uses you lawn as its toilet, this is a book you'll either enjoy or want to throw at someone. I liked it immensely, not that I need this sort of thing mind you. I read it strictly as a study in cross cultural understanding--very...more
One of the first books I read from Thich Nhat Hanh and introduced me not just to Buddhist thinking, but very much helped me think about my feelings and reasons why I would feel certain things, namely in this case, anger. I can understand that people may steer away from anything that could be construed as "religious" or as coming from a religion other than their own. I wouldn't think this book, while written by a Buddhist monk, could be classified as "religious", as their are a lot of general gui...more
This book saved my ass during a really painful time in which I wanted so badly to resort to destructive anger. Anger has been my defense since I was an adolescent girl; powerless to the abuse I witnessed in my family and lost to the exploitation of my culture. I've had a long battle with anger and still a long way to go. Thich Nhat Hanh gives poweful and useful metaphors and tools to help in the transformation of anger, with reminders that often we are the ones who suffer the most from our toxic...more
This book had a lot of lovely things to say about returning to calm and forgiveness, and many metaphors and small narratives to enhance those assertions, but I couldn't help but think perhaps I'd read a lot of this before, that maybe it was more like an extended journal / magazine article, and that while I did need these reminders, I might not be the proper audience for this sort of book. And by sort, I don't mean the deeper subject, but simply that I prefer this subject in the form of a convers...more
The best part of this book is how to see the angry feelings within you. Rather than pretend they don't exist or to try to will them away, Thich Nhat Hanh gives the advice to love the angry feelings like a mother would hold and soothe her baby. Wow, just that visual takes much of the heat off of the feeling. And then another metaphor he uses is to let the anger be a pot of potatoes cooking on the stove. You need to actively "cook" or transform your anger into another type of energy so that you ca...more
Lately, I am reading a lot of Thich Nhat Hanh. He speaks to the issues that presently reside within my heart. Also, Thich Nhat Hanh speaks so beautifully and clearly about those things and he makes the remedy simple.
I have a lot of anger and disappointment to deal with. I figure after many, many years I should deal with these things so they can stop getting in the way of my goals and my happiness.
I have so much anger and disappointment within me it often hurts me physically. I have major heart b...more
I have a lot of anger and disappointment to deal with. I figure after many, many years I should deal with these things so they can stop getting in the way of my goals and my happiness.
I have so much anger and disappointment within me it often hurts me physically. I have major heart b...more
"According to Buddha, the most basic condition for happiness is freedom ... freedom from the mental formations of anger, despair, jealousy, and delusion." (2)
"When a person's speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply." "To understand and transform anger, we must learn the practice of compassionate listening and using loving speech." (3)
"Compassionate listening is a very deep practice. You listen not to judge or blame. You listen just because you want the other person to suf...more
"When a person's speech is full of anger, it is because he or she suffers deeply." "To understand and transform anger, we must learn the practice of compassionate listening and using loving speech." (3)
"Compassionate listening is a very deep practice. You listen not to judge or blame. You listen just because you want the other person to suf...more
If you're familiar with Hahn's work then you know where this book is coming from. I found it very interesting and insightful, though there were parts that seemed almost overly simplistic that I found myself impatient to get through.
But how Hanh interweaves Buddhist teachings so easily into the struggles of modern life, and the ways in which he suggests we can bring that mindfulness to bear is simply incredible.
This book, like his others, moves far beyond a self-absorbed self-help mindset and is...more
But how Hanh interweaves Buddhist teachings so easily into the struggles of modern life, and the ways in which he suggests we can bring that mindfulness to bear is simply incredible.
This book, like his others, moves far beyond a self-absorbed self-help mindset and is...more
My younger brother Mark, who has lived in Japan for several years and is somewhat of a self-taught Zen master, first introduced me to books by Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. He mailed me the book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames after he realized I needed a little Zen anger-management advice. (He saw I was still upset about an incident with my mean and difficult 6th-grade teacher--that had occurred back during the John F. Kennedy administration). I was so impressed with Hanh's ge...more
I thought this book was okay. It put a lot of emphasis on relationships and in that regard I was a little disappointed because it made me think that many people reading the book wouldn't necessarily have a relationship, whether because they are alone with no S.O, deceased or disinterested parents, lack of friendship, etc. For these people, there is less here. When I read the teachings of the Buddha, these requirements are non-existent and the emphasis is placed onto the 'self'. I respect Hahn's...more
I first read Thich Nhat Hanh when I sarted to become seriously interested in Buddhism I couldn't really connect with his style or the substance of what he was saying. That difficulty derived from the way in which I received his teaching, through the divided dualistic intellectual mind that was in fact the source of my troubles. This is a very powerful little book on letting go anger. The one thing that came out for me is that it is the power of mindfulness that is the generating engine in my own...more
This is a wonderful book. Thich Nhat Hanh discusses how to tend to negative emotions, primarily anger. The key is not to ignore or bury anger or wish it away; you have to embrace it and then transform it. The way to transform negative emotions is to tend to them with mindfulness. First you have to acknowledge them, then embrace them, and then through mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindful living, you can transform them. To take care of others, we must first take care of ourselves, and he of...more
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Thích Nhất Hạnh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who now lives in southwest France where he was in exile for many years.
Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary...more
More about Thich Nhat Hanh...
Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary...more
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“I promise myself that I will enjoy every minute of the day that is given me to live.”
—
164 people liked it
“When you say something really unkind, when you do something in retaliation your anger increases. You make the other person suffer, and he will try hard to say or to do something back to get relief from his suffering. That is how conflict escalates.”
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159 people liked it
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