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Still Life with Woodpecker

4.0 of 5 stars 4.00 · rating details · 38,248 ratings · 1,749 reviews

Still Life with Woodpecker is a sort of a love story that takes place inside a pack of Camel cigarettes. It reveals the purpose of the moon, explains the difference between criminals and outlaws, examines the conflict between social activism and romantic individualism, and paints a portrait of contemporary society that includes powerful Arabs, exiled royalty, and pregnant...more

Paperback, 277 pages

Published April 9th 2001 by No Exit Press (first published 1980)

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Jan 16, 2013 Taylor rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: People who like "quirk," people who want to get swept up in something a little unordinary

Shelves: fiction, own, the-power-of-love, favorites

Edit, Jan 2013: Funny story, I'm one of those people who totally loves Tom Robbins now, in part for a bunch of the reasons that I decided I didn't like him originally. What can I say, tastes change, and I've come to respect him a ton--in part, for his incredible similes/metaphors, which are worth anyone who ever wants to write picking up one of his books for.

Original review:
I'm not one of those people who hates or loves Tom Robbins, which I guess puts me in the minority.

I'm a redhead, thus why I...more

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Jun 01, 2007 Gus rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Nothing against the man himself, but if Tom Robbins' writing and I were locked in a room together, and I was ankle-chained to the wall with my only means of escape to saw through my own leg, I would do so, then use the severed limb to happily beat to death Tom Robbins' writing before I dragged my ass out of there.

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Jun 17, 2011 Rebecca rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorite-all-time-sentences

Who knows how to make love stay?
1. Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.
2. Tell love you want a memento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your fac...more

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Feb 22, 2011 Nathan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Robbins has one of the most unique narratives I've encountered. He's genuinely funny, witty, and shares a penchant for the absurd and punny. He's a wordsmith and throughout his writing one can't help but feel that he's full-force funneling a rabid faucet of clever and meaningless musings constantly streaming through his hyper-associative mind.

Woodpecker is, at heart, a take on a classic fairytale story disguised in an absurd set of characters and an abnormal setting. Robbins leads one through h...more

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Aug 18, 2008 Colinski rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Nobody

Let me first tell you that I dislike modern jazz. You know the type: the free-form kind that only musicians can appreciate. I dislike it because it abandons all the structural qualities that I find appealing about old-fashioned jazz and is all about technical skill. What does this have to do with this book? The comparison came to me early on in reading this book which I begrudgingly forced myself to finish: I liken modern jazz to watching a performer masturbate musically on stage, getting off on...more Let me first tell you that I dislike modern jazz. You know the type: the free-form kind that only musicians can appreciate. I dislike it because it abandons all the structural qualities that I find appealing about old-fashioned jazz and is all about technical skill. What does this have to do with this book? The comparison came to me early on in reading this book which I begrudgingly forced myself to finish: I liken modern jazz to watching a performer masturbate musically on stage, getting off on playing his crazy stuff and proving he's really talented, but ultimately seeming to be having more fun than his audience. Reading Still Life with Woodpecker felt kind of like watching Tom Robbins masturbate. And with the narrative flowing regularly into explicit and colorful descriptions of sexual acts, that feeling was felt in more ways than normally felt about jazz musicians.

The book flows in a somewhat stream-of-consciousness sort of way, with Robbins sometimes interrupting the narrative to bitch about his new-fangled typewriter. That got old for me very quickly, but apparently not for Robbins. All the while I really felt like he was having a grand old time writing this. That's great, that the artist is enjoying his work. Let's hope that all artists get to enjoy their work. But most artists can enjoy their work without me wanting to punch them in the face because of their smugness. Ultimately, I guess that's what bothered me the most about this novel. The smugness. Having never read anything else by him, including his most famous novel, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, I could be way off the mark here, but it really seemed to me like after the extensive acclaim from Cowgirls, he was using this novel to test the waters as to how much he could fuck around in a book and have critics still eat out of his hand. Either that or he was trying too hard to write something that would be as well-received as Cowgirls. Not sure.

In any case, I know there are some people who absolutely loved this book. I was no one of them. I really wanted to enjoy it. It sounded great. There were a lot of interesting and colorful uses of the English language in the book, and interesting plot devices, but ultimately it left me cold. Ice cold.(less)

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Oct 01, 2007 Jploof rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who love each other

"The most important thing is love," said Leigh-Cheri. "I know that now. There's no point in saving the world if it means losing the moon."
Leigh-Cheri sent that message to Bernard through his attorney. The message continued, "I'm not quite 20, but, thanks to you, I've learned something that many women these days never learn: Prince Charming really is a toad. And the Beautiful Princess has halitosis. The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and onl...more

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Oct 03, 2007 Dale rated it 5 of 5 stars

The ninth book I read on my commute in 2007. I read this right after Ulysses, as kind of a palate-cleanser, since Tom Robbins is pretty far from James Joyce. But I kept thinking as I read this one about how both it and Ulysses were so very much products of their respective times - Ulysses of Ireland in the 1930s, and Still Life with Woodpecker of the U.S. in the 1970s.

The example that amused me the most is that, in SLWW, a certain famous figure is held up with great reverence and love ... and th...more

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Apr 21, 2012 Kristin rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: i-own-it, favorites, drugs, hippie-shit, read-in-2012, i-love-tom-robbins

gotta say... this is my favorite book of all time, expertly written... more like prose than an actual novel. who can resist a book whose first sentence is "if this typewriter can't do it, then fuck it, it can't be done!"

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Jan 05, 2009 Logan rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: The Lovers, The Dreamers & Me

Shelves: fiction

Oh my goodness, how is that I always forget how much I love Tom Robbins? The man knows how to turn a phrase that is without equal in modern literature. If my funny bone could write love songs they would sound like him.

I find it hilarious that he writes constant asides about the typewriter that he's using, the Remington SL3. I can't tell if this is because the asides are actually funny or if it's because I have a long and storied history with that same beast of a machine. When I was young, eight...more Oh my goodness, how is that I always forget how much I love Tom Robbins? The man knows how to turn a phrase that is without equal in modern literature. If my funny bone could write love songs they would sound like him.

I find it hilarious that he writes constant asides about the typewriter that he's using, the Remington SL3. I can't tell if this is because the asides are actually funny or if it's because I have a long and storied history with that same beast of a machine. When I was young, eight or nine, I picked up that same baby blue behemoth at a garage sale down the road from our house and spent the next year and two ribbons that came with it banging out mediocre stories and abysmal poetry. So when Robbins writes about the persistent hum of his electric typewriter and how the hum makes him think that the typewriter is impatient with the author taking time to think through his sentences, I can relate. I was so driven to distraction by that infernal hum that once I ran the ink ribbons dry I never sought out replacements. Likewise, it led to an adoption on my part of the Beat's preferred methodology- first thought, best thought- which has been relatively crippling to me as a wanna-be writer unable to revise, redraft or reimagine. So, Mr. Robbins, I feel your pain.

Reading this book, I am reminded what I love so much about Tom Robbins. It's not the story itself. If anything the plots are weak and strung together with chewing gum and baling wire. Instead it is the constant asides and digressions that please me so immensely. It is Robbins' way of recounting the history of Sunday as the day of rest (from the ancient Babylonian belief that Ishtar, goddess of the moon, was on the rag on Sa-bat (later the Sabbath) and thus incapable of work which was later coopted by the Christians who extended it from a once-monthly occurrence to a weekly occurrence) or an imaginary group of Buddhists trying to learn about Christian burials from the Irish wake in Finnegan's Wake (the first in a long series of Finnegan's Wake cameos in Robbins' oeuvre) or the history of mongooses in Hawaii.

I love the digressions. I love Robbins' extremely florid style. It inspires me to want to be a better writer, or at least a more expressive one. It makes me think that writing about the thoughts of my socks as I walk around my apartment isn't such a ridiculous thing. I'm really glad that January is my month for revisiting all of my favorite Robbins. I'm already on board for Woodpecker and Jitterbug Perfume and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues has been our bathtime reading material for over a year now, but starting in on this fresh read today has me wanting to tackle his entire bibliography again. I'm really considering adding Fierce Invalids and Another Roadside Attraction back to my to-read stack.

A reread through this book has been extremely beneficial to me. There are so many references that went over my head the first time but are making so much more sense this time. Dr. John Lilly, who also worked in psych-warfare for DARPA in the use of hallucinogens in interrogation sampled his own wares a bit too often and became heavily convinced that dolphins are the highest form of life on Earth (which makes sense considering his speech at Care Fest). Or when Bernard, the titular Woodpecker, goes to court Princess Leigh-Cheri in Seattle and he stays in a rundown tenement in Pioneer Square called the Been-Down-So-Long-It-Looks-Like-Up-to-Me Hotel. It's the little things like that which make me laugh the hardest. (Though it's hard to contain a chortle when Bernard sits on the chihuahua.) Pyramidal mysticism, lunar magic, the strange and mysterious allure of redheads- Robbins packs them all into this book.(less)

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May 24, 2007 carri farrand rated it 5 of 5 stars

this was the first robbins i ever read. i loved this book. the story is ridiculously wonderful. his writing style is light and fast. this is easy and fun stuff.

i do love how i was introduced to this book (and to the author). the summer before i moved to dc i was living in oklahoma city, living with my best friend and working for an environmental group going door to door collecting money and signatures. we usually traveled from okc to tulsa which also meant a meal on the road. one particular day...more

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Jun 27, 2007 Giambus rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: a yard sale

I learned that if you have red hair you can write a crappy book and people will love it. I could have written this book in college.

The jokes were forced, the premise was too ridiculous to take seriously, and the payoff was weak, weak, weak. It was little more than a sophmoric creative writing assignment taken, like, way too far.

Plus if you can't write female characters to be anything more then complex sexual fantasies you should just not even try. I got the sense that the lengthy passages disc...more

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Apr 15, 2007 Julz rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A relative who rarely reads fiction recommended this author, so I knew he had to be good. I'll definitely read him again. Robbins manages to skewer just about every facet of American society all while developing a colorful cast of characters who manage to become compelling in spite of being beyond cartoonish.

It's one of those books that makes you wonder what the author was smoking, so you have to be in the mood for the absurd when you read it. If you're never in that mood, beware, because, as Ro...more

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Feb 20, 2009 Chris rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: culture, fiction, humor, philosophy

When my brother gave me this book for Christmas, he told me to "drink in the writing." Or something to that effect. Whatever it was, he heaped praise on Robbins' use of language. Several people in my family had read this, or some other Tom Robbins book, and they all enthusiastically agreed that reading him was a pleasure unto itself, above and beyond the enjoyment one gets from reading the actual story. I was promised an actual Reading Experience, and that promise was fulfilled in spades.

Reading...more

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Apr 29, 2013 Andrew rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Red heads, and those who would someday like to be red heads.

Recommended to Andrew by: Tara Kappel

Shelves: black_comedy, comedy, coming-of-age, happiness, hippy_literature, historical_fiction, love, philosophy

Literary ladies, mental bent-al gentlemen, and chapter-chomping children of all ages; I come to you to apologize. Still Life With Woodpecker has a rather dismal view of critics, and it would seem that it has no intention of giving us permission to review it. We tried to curry its favor with convertibles, cocaine, and concubines, but it seems perfectly content with its Twinkies and dynamite. Which is somewhat surprising, because it really doesn't seem like a Twinkies-and-dynamite sort of fellow....more

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Aug 30, 2008 Mariah rated it 5 of 5 stars

My favorite book of all time. I used a quote from this book in my wedding vows. It is funny, silly, and romantic.

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May 19, 2013 Elexa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-with-friends

Deliciously enjoyable language but undoubtedly an example of the male gaze--And to extent that it viscerally removed me from the story. Robbins' deluded fantasies about Princess Leigh-Cherie pleasuring herself with a candlestick and first masturbation experience propagate the typical male insecurity that female pleasure/orgasm must be induced by penetration. While some of it is enjoyably erotic, Robbins' mainly seems to *insist* on using offensive language. In a single sentence he, the "objectiv...more

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Jun 23, 2008 Kendra Kettelhut rated it 5 of 5 stars

It has been a long time since I read this, but I do know is that I loved it.

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Feb 04, 2009 Adrian Wade rated it 4 of 5 stars

There is, however, a similarity between juggling and composing on the typewriter. The trick is, when you spill something, make it look like part of the act. pgix

"Neoteny" is "remaining young," and it may be ironic that it is so little known, because human evolution has been dominated by it. Humans have evolved to their relatively high state by retaining the immature characteristics of their ancestors. Humans are the most advanced mammals--although a case could be made for the dolphins--because t...more There is, however, a similarity between juggling and composing on the typewriter. The trick is, when you spill something, make it look like part of the act. pgix

"Neoteny" is "remaining young," and it may be ironic that it is so little known, because human evolution has been dominated by it. Humans have evolved to their relatively high state by retaining the immature characteristics of their ancestors. Humans are the most advanced mammals--although a case could be made for the dolphins--because they seldom grow up. Behavioral traits such as curiosity about the world, flexibility of response, and playfulness are common to practically all young mammals but are usually rapidly lost with the onset of maturity in all but humans. Humanity has advances, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.--pg19

"I don't normally kiss men who smoke," announced Leigh-Cheri. "Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray."
"So I've heard. I've also heard that kissing a person who's self-righteous and intolerant is like licking a mongoose's ass." - pg 72

There are essential and inessential insanities.
The latter are solar in character, the former are linked to the moon.
Inessential insanities are a brittle amalgamation of ambition, agression, and pre-adolescent anxiety --garbage that should have been dumped long ago. Essential insanities are those impulses one instinctively senses are virtuous and correct, even though peers may regard them as coo coo.
Inessential insantities get one in trouble with oneself. Essetnial insantities get oen in trouble with others. It's always preferable to be in trouble with others. In fact, it may be essential. - pg 77

The earth is hollow. Inside the ball there's a wire wheel, and there's a chipmunk running in the wheel. One little chipmunk, running its guts out for you and for me. At night, just before I fall asleep, I hear that chipmunk, I hear its crazed chattering, hear its little heart pounding, hear the squeaking of the squirrel cage--teh wheel is old and rickety now and troubled by rust. The chipmunk is doing all the work. All we have to do is occasionally oil the wheel.- pg96

There's always the same amount of good luck and bad luck in the world. If one person doesn't get the bad luck, somebody else will have to get it in their place. There's always the same amount of good and evil, too. We can't eradicate evil, we can only evict it, force it to move across town. And when evil moves, some good always goes with it. But we can never alter the ratio of good to evil. All we can do is keep things stirred up so neither good nor evil solidifies. That's when things get scary. Life is like a stew, you have to stir it frequently, or all the scum rises to the top.
-pg98

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.- pg 99

Don't let yourself be victimized by the age you live in. It's not the times that will bring us down, any more than it's society. When you put the blame on society, then you end up turning to scoiety for the solution. There's a tendency today to absolve individuals of moral responsibility and treat them as victims of social circumstance. You buy that, you pay with your soul. It's not men who limit women, it's not straights who limit gays, it's not whites who limit blacks. What limits people is lack of character. What limits people is that they don't have the fucking nerve or imaginiation to star in their own movie, let alone direct it. Yuk. - pg117(less)

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Oct 27, 2008 Meika rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Meika by: sarah

I've been trying to think of how to review this book, but the only things that come to mind are metaphors for other senses... it's hue saturation is high, and it's gritty, bluesey and edgy the way Led Zeppelin is Metal.

The plot tends towards the absurd, which allows the story to perform some philosophical acrobatics without giving into the pedantic or pretentious. Robbins tends to express these sorts of things in dichotomy: outlaws as opposed to criminals, activism as opposed to idealism, ideas...more

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Apr 30, 2008 Rapunzel210 rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-that-changed-my-life

I first read this book in 1981 or thereabouts when I was married to my first husband. I had three children and felt completely trapped in a dangerously toxic, dead-end relationship that I saw no way out of.

Still Life with Woodpecker, more than anything else, is about CHOICE. About using it, about the freedom it offers, and about being willing to accept the consequences for exerting it. Sometimes I would be reading and have to close the book up suddenly because I couldn't handle the implications...more

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Apr 21, 2008 Leo Jacobowitz added it · review of another edition

As my lack of stars indicate, this book is ok. However, the Best thing about the book is the following quote - one of the most influential in my life:

"How can one person be more real than any other? Well, some people do hide and others seek. Maybe those who are in hiding--escaping encounters, avoiding surprises, protecting their property, ignoring their fantasies, restricting their feelings, sitting out the Pan pipe hootchy-kootch of experience--maybe those people, people who won't talk to redne...more

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Feb 19, 2008 Angie rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: redheads, people who used to meditate religiously but now feel kind of sheepish about that

Tom Robbins is Tom Robbins is Tom Robbins, and you like him or you don't; I do. There is something about the stoner-cowboy vernacular of the thirty-something 1970s-era male that I find endlessly endearing. It is this vernacular that I am holding responsible for this book's tendency to remind me, constantly and throughout my entire reading of it, of The Executioner's Song. I thought that maybe it was the fact that the main characters of the two stories shared a lot of similar traits, like bad tee...more

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Dec 28, 2007 Julia rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who really like tom robbins...?

Recommended to Julia by: Don Alsafi

I'd heard this book wasn't as bad as some of the later Tom Robbins, where I think even he was getting tired of his schtick, but... Not by me. So far the decline in my liking of Robbins books had been related to my reading the later ones later (proved by the exceptions), but not in this case. Maybe I'm just overall tired of Robbins, or maybe this one just wasn't for me. Of course, compared to the great mass of uselessness out there, anything Robbins is still going to be pretty interesting. But th...more I'd heard this book wasn't as bad as some of the later Tom Robbins, where I think even he was getting tired of his schtick, but... Not by me. So far the decline in my liking of Robbins books had been related to my reading the later ones later (proved by the exceptions), but not in this case. Maybe I'm just overall tired of Robbins, or maybe this one just wasn't for me. Of course, compared to the great mass of uselessness out there, anything Robbins is still going to be pretty interesting. But this review is going to pick at the negatives, because everybody knows what's cool about Tom Robbins... (Or if they don't, plenty of other reviews will tell them.)

The odd analogies in particular just didn't seem as cool as they used to; maybe they were more clumsily integrated (really they often just seem there to be there rather than to be of any use), or maybe I'm just over it. A lot of the specifics were like that; I guess I'll have to reread a Robbins I liked to see what I think of it now. Some of _Woodpecker_ did just seem clumsy, though, in a not-experienced-or-not-great-author kind of way. A lot of author intrusion, which may seem like a funny thing to say about a book where a lot of the innovative form-twisting funniness is in things like the author breaking in to talk about his relationship with the typewriter that's putting out the manuscript, but I'm talking plain old point-of-view slippage and that sort of thing (using 'seemingly' of a character whose POV we were in in the previous paragraph and will be back in in the next, that sort of thing). Sometimes breaking the Rules comes off as interesting and experimental, and sometimes it comes off as just bad writing,* and different components can come off differently to different people. So maybe some people would think the intrusive 'seemingly's brilliantly new, and some people would think the bits about the typewriter just bad writing, but that's the way I slice it, anyway. (And of course it has the usual sexist bullshit, though maybe it was advanced for its time? Hard for me to say.)

Overall... As with anything so full of philosophical BSing, there were a few aha moments, and a bunch of moments where I think it's full of crap. (Robbins does polyphony, in his own unique fashion (interestingly so), but some messages are clear, like Artists Are Superior Beings, which may well be true but I don't buy his reasoning.) And the content? Eh, anyone can write a review about content. :) The supporting characters were much better done than the main characters, in my opinion. King Max and Queen Tilli were quite fetching.

Tom Robbins does not exactly write character-driven novels most of the time, so what are they? Form-driven? Sounds awful, but it's a good enough form to mostly carry it most of the time. (They're certainly not plot-driven nor setting-driven...) I think the books I've liked best of his have been the closest to being really character-driven, but that's typical for me.

And finally, a comment from my housemate Bao-Tran: "Wait, you bought it new?!? How could you not find that book used? Every single person in Berkeley owns a copy of that book! I think even I own a copy of it!"

* One of my editorial postulates: Experimental form sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from bad writing. Not sure whether that applies here, or whether Robbins was just being lazy.(less)

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Sep 07, 2007 Jessie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed myself. Some of my favorite moments...

Once, Princess Leigh-Cheri used a papal candlestick for the purpose of self-gratification. She had hoped that at the appropriate moment she might be visited by either the Lamb or the Beast, but, as usual, only Ralph Nader attended her.

Behavioral traits such as curiosity about the world, flexibility of response, and playfulness are common in practically all young mammals but are usually rapidly lost with the onset of maturity in all but human...more

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Aug 06, 2007 Bridget rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: those who like odd books for a change

I was debating between putting this at at 3 or a 2 1/2. I really wish that I had someone to discuss this book with. It is my first read of a Tom Robbins book and I don't know much about the author, but I cannot decide if I think he is brilliant or completely pretentious. The story was entertaining, but the writing style unlike anything that I have read. It was such a strange storyline but in the same sense strangely enjoyable. The philosophy behind the book was interesting to contemplate, but I...more

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May 17, 2012 Adam Floridia rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I expected crazy-weird-awesome:

description

So far it's:

description

To sum up, I looked forward to reading this and walked away very disappointed.

description

Not sure if I'll ever bother writing a proper review or quoting any of the god-awful similes, stupidly-inane tangents, or sententiously-prosaic truths.

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Sep 24, 2007 Emily rated it 5 of 5 stars

Who knows how to make love stay? (#1 is a Valentine's Day tradition for my parents.)

1. Tell love you are going to Junior’s Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.

2. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt h...more

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Aug 10, 2007 Kasia rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this book as a teenager and I loved it. I loved the style and the language and the story, the irreverent rebelliousness. Then I read it again after college and, while I still enjoyed it, a lot of things bothered me. I don't like his sexual objectification of his female characters. Many of his books seem to be wishful thinking sexual fantasies on the part of the author. And gratuitous descriptions of breasts and bodily fluids do not exactly constitute character development. Now I think of...more

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Jan 05, 2011 Brian rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

9/24/2006 - 6/10

Still Life with Woodpecker is a pretty strange book. It uses off the wall snippets in short chapters to tell a somewhat disjoint but humorous narrative. It reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut's writing style. Robbins uses some vivid descriptions, ideas and conjectures. They are a bit hit or miss though as some go into boring rat-holes. The story itself has a fairy tale-ish feel to it. It's also a bit juvenile with over the top and shallow romance and sex scenes. The plot is not at all c...more 9/24/2006 - 6/10

Still Life with Woodpecker is a pretty strange book. It uses off the wall snippets in short chapters to tell a somewhat disjoint but humorous narrative. It reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut's writing style. Robbins uses some vivid descriptions, ideas and conjectures. They are a bit hit or miss though as some go into boring rat-holes. The story itself has a fairy tale-ish feel to it. It's also a bit juvenile with over the top and shallow romance and sex scenes. The plot is not at all cohesive in tying all the ideas together and is rather silly.

Some quotes:
'Once, princess Leigh-Cheri used a papal candlestick for the purpose of self-gratification. She had hoped that at the appropriate moment, she might be visited by either the Lamb or the Beast, but, as usual, only Ralph Nader attended her.'p 8
'Max's heart made a sound like the sleigh bells on Mrs. Santa Claus's dildo.' p. 18
'If by the last quarter of the twentieth century godliness wasn't next to something a little more interesting than cleanliness, it might be time to reevaluate our notions of godliness. ' p. 21
'Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!' p 50
'When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.' p 157
'Three of the four elements are shared by all creatures, but fire was a gift to humans alone. Smoking cigarettes is as intimate as we can become with fire without immediate excruciation. Every smoker is an embodiment of Prometheus, stealing fire from the gods and bringing it on back home. We smoke to capture the power of the sun, to pacify Hell, to identify with the primordial spark, to feed on the marrow of the volcano. It's not the tobacco we're after but the fire. When we smoke, we are performing a version of the fire dance, a ritual as ancient as lightning.
Does that mean that chain smokers are religious fanatics? You must admit there's a similarity.
The lung of the smoker is a naked virgin thrown as a sacrifice into the godfire.' p 161
'The Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls have been looked at so much that they've become effete, sucked empty by too many stupid eyes.' p.222

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Mar 09, 2009 Justine rated it 3 of 5 stars

I eagerly picked up this book after Megan told me it was her favorite book as a high school senior-- and remains her favorite book today. Further investigation with friends taught me that Tom Robbins is an author best read high and with a deep cult following.

Robbins' writing style took a while to get used to. Like other writers whose voice is unlike anything else I've ever read, I had the delicious pleasure of being forced to slow down and consider for the first few chapters. His language is a...more

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About Tom Robbins

Thomas Eugene Robbins (born July 22, 1936 in Blowing Rock, North Carolina) is an American author. His novels are complex, often wild stories with strong social undercurrents, a satirical bent, and obscure details. His novel Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1976) was made into a movie in 1993 directed by Gus Van Sant.

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“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.” — 937 people liked it

“Who knows how to make love stay?

1. Tell love you are going to Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if loves stays, it can have half. It will stay.

2. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a moustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.

3. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.” — 580 people liked it

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