Felix and the Sacred Thor
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Felix and the Sacred Thor (New Bizarro Author Series)

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4.32 of 5 stars 4.32  ·  rating details  ·  31 ratings  ·  22 reviews
HUMANITY'S FATE IS IN THE HANDS OF HE WHO WIELDS THE SACRED THOR!

"Epic quests don't involve the internet or TV! They involve sex toys and manly, hard-bodied, larger-than-life heroes defying physics, logic and insurmountable odds, spitting out quotable, highly marketable catchphrases all the while!"
-The Sacred Horse

Felix might not quite fit this description, but he's trying

...more
Paperback, 85 pages
Published October 13th 2010 by Eraserhead Press
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 154)
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Stephen
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THE ABOVE IS NOT A JOKE…..THE REVIEW BELOW IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT IS WRITTEN BY A VERY IMMATURE ONE…..

YOU……

HAVE…..

BEEN…..

WARNED!!!


Now I admit that I have become more than a little jaded with the glut of “sameness” that is lately filling up the literary marketplace. There are certainly days that I want to grab a hot glue gun and spackle my eyes shut to avoid having to look at another paranormal romance cover with an ultra hot [guy/girl/other] staring fuckeyes a...more
Caris
If you are under the age of 18, please get the fuck out of here. If you are over the age of 18 (and are not of a delicate constitution), please scroll down and behold the power of the Sacred Thor.
















This is the mighty Thor:






It was taken from one of these:





It has these powers:



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[image error]


And some other powers, too!


And one more time for good measure:





I love satire. I love it so much that I might use a Thor on it if it manifested itself physically. Steele’s book is full of satire. In the be...more
Steve Lowe
Feb 15, 2011 Steve Lowe rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: people who own dildos,
Shelves: nbas, bizarro
This book is a must-read for the following people:

- dildo enthusiasts
- horse dildo enthusiasts
- animal dildo enthusiasts in general
- the unemployed
- unemployed dildo enthusiasts
- lovers of mystical quests and recipients of occasional forced sodomy (not mutually exclusive)
- retail employees who hate their jobs (possibly redundant with the previous entry)
- retail managers who love their jobs
- toaster enthusiasts
- RPG enthusiasts
- enthusiasm enthusiasts (just kidding)

This book is definitely NOT for...more
Dan Schwent
In a dystopian society where unemployment is the norm, Felix wields the Sacred Thor against the forces that threaten humanity, the sentient toasters living in the chest cavities of most college graduates. Did I mention The Sacred Thor is a "marital aid" shaped like an enormous horse penis? I didn't? You'd think I would have mentioned that first...

Where do I start? Do I mention a world where many college graduates are stress management specialists, dedicated to servicing pent up animals? Do I men...more
Lea
When I was in my 20s, there was this kind of cute guy who used to come and see me at work. He was an actor, and he kept asking me to come see him in one of his plays. I was happily dating someone else, so I wasn't interested in going out with him, but I finally agreed to come see him at the theater. And I became seriously starstruck --a majorly head-over-heels, couldn't talk without stuttering, blushing, giggling moron. And, of course, he then wouldn't give me the time of day.

What does this all...more
Anita Dalton
My review for this is really 4.5 stars but Good reads doesn't allow that so I bumped it up in the interests of fairness.

I have to be brutally honest here and just get the negative out of the way. This book contains two things I loathe deeply: references to gaming and forced sodomy. Seriously, the former is an irritant and the latter is an OMG because I just get freaked out by the image of so much non-consensual buttsex. I’m a girl. What can I say. It’s all just a part of who I am. So almost need...more
Eric Hendrixson
Felix and the Sacred Thor is a stupid story about a guy who breaks toasters with a rubber horse cock. It’s also a very clever social satire about education, economics, and the nature of the heroic quest. This puts me in a difficult position. While one part of me wants to giggle stupidly at the superhero antics of Felix, whose hero ethos seems at times to be derived more from video games and cartoons than from, say, Joseph Campbell–-even his supernatural guide refers to acquiring skills as leveli...more
Kirk
A pervert of the purest heart, sodomized by his superiors at the local equivalent of Wal-Mart during his day job, and sexually stimulating stallions to the rock ballads of angels when time or opportunity permits. A living dildo that levels up with each onslaught waged on its behalf. A horde of maniacal radioactive toasters bent on destroying the human race.

That about sums the exposition up.

After the introduction we get a series of slice of bizarro dystopia vignettes, all connected by Felix,...more
FabulousRaye
I feel like I can relate somewhat to James Steele. We both live in the same state. (and I'm not talking about perversity or insanity.) I'm always extra tickled when a Bizarro comes from Ohio. Things are a lot weirder here then people think.

We both share a interest in bestiality and demented sex toys. The past couple months I've watched a couple documentaries on people involved in a bestiality lifestyle. It's fascinating to hear them talk about being in love with a horse or a dog. They were compl...more
Jason Pettus
(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com]. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)

This is the latest in Eraserhead Press' "New Bizarro Author Series," in which the publisher will put out an inexpensive novella by a beginning writer as a way for them to prove that they should get a full book contract; and admittedly, this one is even sillier than most of the titles from this series I rec...more
Kate
Aug 11, 2011 Kate rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Equine Stress Management Specialists, bizarro types, and anyone in a customer service position
Recommended to Kate by: Anita Dalton
Shelves: bizarro
I like books that make people uncomfortable and according to Anita Dalton's review on www.ireadoddbooks.com this book does that and so much more. So, I'm really intrigued to read it and see for myself.

Holy moly me oh my, boy oh boy, is this one of the most bizarre and interesting books I have come across in the NBAS series. I've been struggling to write this review for a few days now and these few words keep popping into my brain:

HOLY HORSE COCK!

But that's not all this book is about, oh no it's...more
Tabitha
"A toaster crawled out from the woman's blouse. It stretched its wings and rose into the air." Now -that's- a fabulous image. One of many James Steele treats us to in "Felix and the Sacred Thor."

As a college grad struggling to find work in my field of choice, I can really relate to the main character, Felix. The dong-wielding superhero part, perhaps not quite so much. Though after finishing this book, I'm seeing it as a possible option.

Even as short as the story is, there's still a vivid world c...more
Charlie
If Salvador Dali were to comment on the meaningless of a college degree he might be inspired to paint a flying toaster getting whacked by a horse dildo. Steele makes excellent use of the literary device, non sequitur, in his comedic quest to save humanity in Felix and the Sacred Thor. This is not just a story about sex toys, but a commentary on modernism, social culture, education and the pursuit of greater things. And yes, the dirty underbelly of the retail world where receipts are optional and...more
Nicole Cushing
Ay, ay, ay...what to say about FELIX AND THE SACRED THOR. What CAN I say about this work without using naughty words, and without looking like a gibbering fool who has gone full-tilt loony?

Let us just say this. You guys all know about He-Man...the '80s cartoon character, right? Well...He-Man had,...you know...a SWORD right. And it was MAGIC and he used it to beat up evil-doers.

Well FELIX is sort of like He-Man, in that he, too, has a magical weapon. A sword-like implement. Only INSTEAD of a swor...more
David Barbee
James Steele's debut is an epic fantasy adventure where a lowly peasant receives a powerful weapon and becomes a hero to save the day. It takes place in a futuristic capitalist society, but it has all the trademarks of classical fantasy. The hero is Felix, a customer service rep, and he is tasked with saving the world from exploding toasters. His weapon is the Sacred Thor, which is a horse phallus. Much of the story involves Felix running around slaying toasters and leveling up his weapon.

Felix...more
Sheldon
Meet Felix, America's newest folk hero!

This one will be difficult to review. Not because of my opinion of the book, or doubts about anything contained therein. No, the difficulty is going to be in reviewing “Felix and the Sacred Thor” in an Amazon-friendly manner.

Felix is an Equine Stress Management Specialist. If you read the book's description, you can probably guess how he manages these stress levels. After proving himself worthy, the Sacred Horse grants him the Sacred Thor, an unimaginably p...more
Meg
Recommended and lent to me by the luminescent Tabitha.

Felix and The Sacred Thor is a biting and satirical commentary that will keep you laughing more than any other story involving flying toasters will. James Steele certainly captures the feeling of working in a retail setting during the holidays. A quick warning, it is not for the easily offended. But I would heartily recommend it to all others, especially those who enjoy short stories and novels such as "Make Room, Make Room," by Harry Harriso...more
Gabriel
Jun 12, 2011 Gabriel rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: everyone (who can stomach anal rape)
(Yup, all entries in the NBAS - New Bizarro Author Series - will be reviewed soon).

For everyone with job frustrations, read on.

When I think of flying toasters, I think of the After Dark screensavers from the 90's. Gentle creatures that flap their wings, trying desperately to keep up with the toaster in front of them. I do not think of alien spacecrafts loaded with nuclear devices that will explode if smacked with a giant sex toy shaped like the anatomy of a horse.

When I think of heroes ... well,...more
J.W. Wargo
Id Says:
Holy dildo, Cat-Man! Violating orifices has never been this much fun.
As a returns clerk, Felix is used to getting anally raped by his bosses at work. Each molestation a friendly reminder that he's one of the lucky ones. He's employed. He may not be getting paid, but at least he's not standing in that unemployment line wrapped around his store's building.

Still, it isn't what he studied so hard in college to do. Felix was supposed to be an Equine Stress Management Specialist. He lived to r...more
Chris
This is quite a good first book by Mr. Steele. The social commentary is put forth in bizarro fashion and seems to me to be right on point. The story follows Felix and his quest to save the world from explosive toasters with his Thor (a horse dildo that grows larger after completing various tasks). While Felix is the hero in this tale, Pat, the owner of the novelty toaster company, makes some good points towards the end of the book. I enjoyed this book and think it could easily be turned into a p...more
Brian Laforge
Funny to the point my sides hurt but has a great take on capitalism and the dehumanization of workers this book makes you think as tears of laughter roll down your face.
Heather
Jan 18, 2011 Heather marked it as to-read
Shelves: first-reads-wins
i just won this book today! thanks Goodreads!
Sigriet Ferrer
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May 14, 2014
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Mar 09, 2014
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Jan 06, 2014
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Dec 31, 2013
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Dec 19, 2013
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James Steele was born in Ohio and went his entire life without actually living there until now.

He prefers stories featuring non-human characters. He enjoys stepping outside the human perspective and exploring other possibilities.

When that's not socially acceptable, he steps outside reality to achieve the same effect.
More about James Steele...
Huvek Demons: Encounters with the Devil and His Minions, Fallen Angels, and the Possessed 100 Horrors: Tales of Horror in the Blink of an Eye Long Live The New Flesh: Year Two The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction (Issue Three)

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