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I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood
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I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood

3.62  ·  Rating Details  ·  104 Ratings  ·  19 Reviews
In this refreshingly honest book, bestselling author Dr. Susan Jeffers breaks the conspiracy of silence, pulling no punches when she details how difficult parenthood can be. With humor and compassion she uncovers the guilt traps set for parents by many child-care experts. She questions the myths and half-truths that make parents feel inadequate and offers valuable survival ...more
Paperback, 288 pages
Published July 13th 2001 by Renaissance Books (first published April 6th 2000)
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Sep 20, 2007 Elyssa rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: new parents; prospective parents
Shelves: parenting
This book title sounds negative, but the book itself is very affirming. It was extremely liberating, as a new parent, to read a book that tells it like it is! So many parenting books have an undertone of guilt if you aren't loving every minute of the experience. The author reviews various parenting stereotypes and delusions and talks about the very real and often challenging experience of parenting. The book also validates parent's experiences of holding conflicting feelings about parenting, i.e ...more
Feb 24, 2016 Lisa rated it it was ok
It was interesting but not mind blowing. I agree with what other reviewers said that it was a little much that she quoted herself and I also found that I didn't always agree with her wide generalizations about having children (I'm not so sure there's a "conspiracy of silence", I do think people do focus on the positive but everyone that I know does say parenting is the hardest thing they've done. Plus, we focus on the positive - at least outwardly - in most things in life. It's not like were pos ...more
Apr 09, 2014 Juls rated it liked it
This book is affirming no matter what side of the fence you're on. I read it because it was recommended to me by a friend who enjoyed reading it. I didn't go into parenthood with fairy tale expectations, and I haven't felt stifled by pressures to be perfect. I love being a mom. This book is not about whether you love or hate parenting. It's about shedding light on taboo topics that only make parenthood harder and creating honest dialog so that we can be stronger for our kids and truer to ourselv ...more
Rachel McCready-Flora
I suffered through over half of this book before I finally dropped it for good. I thought maybe it would eventually organize itself into something thought provoking based on the reviews, but Jeffer's writing is unorganized, lacks depth, and isn't helpful at all at answering the questions that would lead a parent or potential parent to this book. I can understand how a really frustrated parent that went into mother/fatherhood with glossy expectations would find solace in Jeffer's words, but an es ...more
Apr 25, 2009 gina rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: people who are not self aware, hate children, or need help deciding to have a child
I've read so many positive reviews of this book, so I was a little shocked at my serious disliking of the book. I forced myself to finish the book despite feeling a mixture of negative emotions about the book. I came to one quote in her book nearing the end that said if you read a parenting book that makes you feel bad you should toss it out, and if you read one that makes you feel good then stick to what that one teaches. It was hard not to say halleluiah and toss hers right then and there, but ...more
Amanda Papenfus
Apr 13, 2012 Amanda Papenfus rated it really liked it
I think the cover's statement, "a must-read for parents, wannabe parents, & the cheerfully child-free" is accurate. While the book is good for all, it seems it might be best for those who are already parents. The author spends a good deal of time going over some of the myths of parenting and freeing parents from "guilt-peddlers". Those who want to be parents (or perhaps aren't sure if they want to be) get a realistic look at some of the things that few parents disclose. And those who are chi ...more
Aug 07, 2013 Christine rated it it was ok
This book was a bit of a disappointment. I dunno, I just expected something...more.

For your information, I am someone strongly contemplating the childfree life. I thought this book would reaffirm, and possibly strengthen my desire to not have children. It did...sort of. But it fell a little short of my expectations.

For one thing, I HATE the author. I was initially attracted to the book because the previews of the book all made me think that I would love her "refreshingly honest" voice. Her hones
Jan 26, 2011 Janet rated it liked it
In an effort to debunk many myths about parenting ("childcare is bliss!" "You will be so fulfilled!" "It is the ultimate experience!" "You must have kids to fulfill your destiny!" and on), Susan Jeffers occasionally veers into bitter territory. Yes, it's helpful that she is speaking words that many are afraid to utter (though not many in my circle who seem more self-assured), but I can't help wondering how I'd feel if my mom had written the book. I know for sure that my parents made MANY sacrifi ...more
Kendall Wilson
Jul 30, 2015 Kendall Wilson rated it liked it
This book articulates all the horrible thoughts you had about your child but didn't want to say out loud. I'm glad I read it as I had a hard time during the first few years of my son's life, and that was partly due to the "conspiracy of silence" Jeffers talks about. For anyone who doesn't believe the conspiracy of silence is real, then you haven't lived in New York City. It's isolating, and I wish I had read this book sooner, so it could have at least provided me with some much-needed perspectiv ...more
Valerie Sherman
Aug 09, 2011 Valerie Sherman rated it really liked it
I'm on the fence about having kids, leaning toward remaining child-free by choice. This is a fascinating, honestly written book, and I really do think she sheds light on an area that most people prefer not to talk about. Internet message boards about mothers hating the process of parenthood seem to confirm her message. I think this is a valuable read for anyone on the fence about parenthood, or for those who feel a little guilty that they're not enjoying the process as much as they wish.
Jul 23, 2015 Linda rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Finally, a book that tells 'it' like it is! What is 'it?' Parenthood! You won't find any gushy, mushy, lovey-dovey stuff in here!(About how wonderful it is to be a parent.) She lays it on the line, tells all; how your life is never the same once you have a child; what you give up to have a child/ren; it is ok if you don't want to reproduce; etc etc. We automatically assume everyone has the mother 'gene' and will be a great mom and know what to do. Not necessarily!
Nov 19, 2012 Jennifer rated it really liked it
Really easy to read. The last few chapters were the best for me since I've been exploring the idea of being childfree. She brought up a lot of good points.
I think merge the last few chapters of her book with first few in The Parenthood Decision and you're well on your way.
Mar 24, 2010 Ali rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Parents and people thinking about having kids.
This is a typical self-help book with too many anecdotes and not enough science. However, I appreciated the author's personal stories, her candor, and her good humor. Parenting is not a touchy subject with her.
Apr 10, 2013 Ariane rated it really liked it
Very good book, both for parents and those who are not sure whether they want to be parent. Not having children myself I'm still wondering whether the picture she painted of parenthood is not a bit too dark
Jan 18, 2013 Crystal rated it it was amazing
Really good read. Id advise any CF people to read this book, people who are on the fence about kids may find it very insightful. Even if you have kids this book is worth a read :)
Jul 27, 2011 Jessi rated it it was amazing
Shelves: childfree
A book that offers an honest look at the hard work needed to be a parent. Reading it made me want to write a thank you letter to my parents.
Stacy Boyd
I get aggravated by kids and parenting, too, sometimes, but I found this author's stories too abrasive. She came across as the brat.
Aug 12, 2012 Anastacia rated it liked it
The author seems to have hated being a parent. It's too bad she had them so young!
May 12, 2012 Brette rated it liked it
Informative! (But a little too academically written for my taste...)
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There is more than one author with this name

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. has helped millions of people throughout the world overcome their fears, heal their relationships, and move forward in life with confidence and love.

She is the author of many internationally renowned books including Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Feel the Fear. . .and Beyond, Feel the Fear Power Planner, End the Struggle and Dance W
More about Susan Jeffers...

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