Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

But I Love Him

by Amanda Grace (Pseudonym), Mandy Hubbard (Goodreads Author)

3.73 of 5 stars 3.73 · rating details · 2,228 ratings · 390 reviews

Sometimes at night, I wake up and stare at the heart for hours. I think of how I collected each piece from the beach, how I glued it all together into one big sculpture. I wonder if Connor realizes what it means, that he'll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of glass is another piece of myself that I gave to him.

It's too bad I didn't keep any piec...more

Paperback, 245 pages

Published May 8th 2011 by Flux (first published May 1st 2011)

more details... edit details

Get a copy:

More…

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Lists with This Book

City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

YA Novels of 2011

181st out of 1,169 books — 6,224 voters

Hearts on Cover

6th out of 102 books — 190 voters

More lists with this book...

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)

filter | sort: default (?) | rating details

Aug 16, 2012 ✿Alyssa✿ rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Absolutely Nobody.

This review was posted at My Secret Romance

To sum it up: Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight he didn't stop after the first slap.

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved-and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him,...more

9 likes · like · see review

Jun 02, 2011 Kristi (The Story Siren) rated it 3 of 5 stars

Intense. Scary. Heartbreaking.

Unlike other book about abusive relationships that I've read, But I Love Him is told in reverse order. When the book begins we seen Anna at her worst possible low, and as the story progresses... or rather regresses we witness how Anna comes to be in this place.

It was brilliant on Amanda's part to tell the story this way, often times it easy to think, why didn't they just walk away, why didn't they move on.... it seems easy until you're there yourself. You see Anna...more

12 likes · like · see review

Mar 30, 2012 Emily May rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya-na, 2011

I'm not sure if But I Love Him would have touched me as much if the subject matter wasn't something that has affected someone close to me throughout their life, and therefore, had a huge effect on myself. I'm not going to publicly post details but a person who was very important to me went through a similar ordeal with domestic abuse with even more violent conclusions. I saw first-hand how someone could be so wrapped up in a relationship that they didn't see how much it was harming them. There were times after a fit of violence where he would storm out, claiming to be leaving, knowing full well that she would beg him to stay. And she did.

This is a subject that really affects me everytime I read books or see films with violent partners. Because I know how someone can alienate their friends and family and retreat into their own little bubble of violence. I know all about the "it'll be different this time" and how quickly an abusive partner can switch personalities. But I Love Him contained all of these elements and it was believable for me because I recognised it all and knew it to be true.

The author's decision to write the book in reverse chronological order was a little confusing at first and I had almost written it off as a failed attempt to have something a bit unique. But I began to understand the reasons behind it as the story unfolded and we learned the hows and the whys. How many people are guilty of looking at an abusive relationship and thinking "how can you believe that he loves you when he knocks you about?" and "how can that person not realise they deserve better?" That's why this book starts at the end, with the readers at that point where they cannot understand why the protagonist has let it get to this with her boyfriend. Then the story tells you why.

The more I think about it, the more I like this time format. If you start a tale about an abusive relationship at the beginning then you can predict there will be one of two possible conclusions: 1) She leaves him, or 2) She gets so seriously hurt that the story serves as a severe warning to others. But this way, the conclusion is discovering the whats, wheres, hows, whys and wherefores that led to the protagonist accepting violence as just another part of her life.

There were things I didn't like in the novel. I thought sometimes as the story was going backward that there wasn't the smoothest reverse transition between events and I had questions that needed answering. I also wanted a better ending, I thought the protagonist's final decision was a bit sketchy and should have been clearer. (view spoiler) If I'm being nit-picky, I thought the author also made a mess of the past scenes with ex-best friend Abby. They could have been a meaningful representation of friendship but they were wasted in cliched phrases and exclamations like:

Did you hear that so-and-so is dating whatshisname?

Eww.

However, my absolute favourite part of this book was another relationship in the novel that I thought was told very well and was incredibly sad, even more so than the main relationship. I don't want to say too much and ruin it for anyone. Apart from the few small things I've mentioned, I thought this was a great book, highly emotional and effective. It also feels like an even shorter read than it is (245 pages) because it has small chapters and you're like "just one more" until suddenly the whole book's gone in one evening. Recommended to those who like young adult books about real life scenarios and relationships.(less)

15 likes · like · see review

Oct 18, 2011 Isamlq rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm trying not to judge ~~them~~ her. I'm trying my best not to be disappointed in her choices. And with BUT I LOVE HIM beginning as it did~ at their end, I did have to hold onto my ~~judgments~~ thoughts, and see what led themto where they were.

But having witnessed this reverse mix of start, end, and in between, I'm still not a hundred percent sure about what to think BUT I do know what I feel: pissed off, unsure about my disappointed then finally, relieved.

Pissed off at whom though? Because if we're t...more

7 likes · like · see review

Mar 09, 2012 Sandra Howard rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: cover-love, favorites, realistic-novels, tearjerker

“What would you do if the one person you want comfort from is the one who cause you pain? How can you want to desperately for him to wrap me up in his arms but also want so much for him to leave me alone?”
- Ann, But I love Him

Ann loves Connor.
Connor loves Ann.
Only problem is when Connor’s temper rises, Ann gets hurt.

How does he hurt her?

Verbally.

Emotionally.

Psychologically.

Physically.

But why does Ann stay?

Because she loves him.

But I love Him is an emotional story about a girl who was in love w...more

21 likes · like · see review

Jul 15, 2011 Nomes rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, love-the-premise, riding-the-older-ya-vibe

I love the concept of this book. It is the story of one girl and the boy she loves who abuses her ~ told in reverse chronological order.

As the book begins, Ann is at the height of the abuse, has completely sold out of her previous life to be with Connor, and the relationship has consumed her. As the book continues, it slides back through time, showing the relationship in reverse. (with the exception of the climax/resolution, which is sprinkled through the reverse narrative and saved up for the...more

18 likes · like · see review

Sep 03, 2011 Haleema rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: author-y-u-no-destroyed, brain-cells-went-bye-bye, cheese-pizza, need-my-nutella, snape-disapproves, oh-not-again, meh-mazing, i-knew-it

Ew.

What the hell.

First of all, I am so sick and tired of these kinds of books. Or subjects. You know? Where the girl is getting abused by her long-time boyfriend, but she keeps loving him and is too weak to step out of the relationship. He clearly does not love her if he is using her as his punching bag. It's so stupid.

I mean, I know I'm being a bit rough and insensitive, but come on! Get a life and move on. Be strong! Don't ruin your life. Please.

Story:

Guy beats up girl. Girl cries. They make o...more

24 likes · like · see review

view all 30 comments

Tamary Anderson coming from someone who was in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for a year... i was afraid of what would happen to me or even my family...more
Nov 18, 2011 11:21pm

WeaklingNo14 It's understandable why some people don't like these types of books and it's understandable why some people defend the topic. It's hard for someone to...more
Jul 13, 2012 12:31pm

Aug 18, 2011 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, y-a, abusive-relationship, feels

"But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep and I'm nestled in his arms, this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually all of the scars will have scars, and that's all I'll be--one big scar of a love gone wrong."
— Amanda Grace (But I Love Him)

After reading "Bitter End" last weekend, I recieved this in the mail and decided to go for it. It was much better than "Bitter End".

The writing in this was amazing. It was just so beauti...more "But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep and I'm nestled in his arms, this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually all of the scars will have scars, and that's all I'll be--one big scar of a love gone wrong."
— Amanda Grace (But I Love Him)

After reading "Bitter End" last weekend, I recieved this in the mail and decided to go for it. It was much better than "Bitter End".

The writing in this was amazing. It was just so beautiful and sad. It did something crazy, really. It made you look at the bad guy(the abuser) with a deeper understanding and actually sympathize with him slightly. It was amazing because it makes the reader understand a bit better how it's now always black and white. It's not always bad guy, good guy. Sometimes it's gray.

The thing with "But I love him" was that it tried to make you understand how she got into her situation. It tells the story in reverse which is good because you don't judge her like you would if the story was told from the beginning. When the story starts, you don't know what that first moment was that should've made her run away. You see her at the end where she is tired and confused because she loves him more than she loves herself. Then she starts thinking back on their year together.

It's hard to explain why it's so good. The writing is awesome. The characters are so real and well written. It really makes you think and it makes you really feel for her.

The last 50 pages really broke my heart where she started thinking about the beginning where they were so different. It was beautiful and haunting. It showed abusive relationships in a different light. Not a good one, obviously, it's never a good thing, but it's amazing how she approached this topic.

It broke my heart a little. Amazing.

"It's not fair. It's not fair that he lets his rage take over, that he lets it rule him. I don't know why he has to let it rule him. I don't know why he has to be two people.
I don't know why he gets to be two people, and I only get to be me, the one who is here to take what he has to give, and who is here to pick up the pieces afterward."
— Amanda Grace (But I Love Him)(less)

6 likes · like · see review

May 03, 2011 The BookWhisperer rated it 4 of 5 stars

Amanda Grace created a tragic and terrifying story about a young girl that finds herself in her worst nightmare. Many young girls believe it inconceivable that a situation such as this could happen to them. This realistic and honest truth about how it is easy for a girls to find their selves in such a situation it grab many readers and drag them into this young woman� s nightmare. Interestingly, Grace created this story starting with the end and working her way to the beginning. I believe that t...more

3 likes · like · see review

Jul 08, 2011 Heather from NightlyReading rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

Whew! What a whirlwind of heartbreak this story was! I had my eye on this book for a while now and finally decided to purchase it. It actually arrived yesterday and I was determined to finish it before slumbering last night. This was an easy task since the book held my attention until the very end.

Gosh, as I sit here to write this review, I still cannot wrap my head around it. I have so many emotions and thoughts running through my head, so please just bear with me.

The book starts off in the pre...more Whew! What a whirlwind of heartbreak this story was! I had my eye on this book for a while now and finally decided to purchase it. It actually arrived yesterday and I was determined to finish it before slumbering last night. This was an easy task since the book held my attention until the very end.

Gosh, as I sit here to write this review, I still cannot wrap my head around it. I have so many emotions and thoughts running through my head, so please just bear with me.

The book starts off in the present time of right now with Ann being battered and broken lying on the floor after Connor has went on a tirade. Connor has left and she fears him coming back, but also in the back of her mind she is hopeful that he returns and just wraps her in his arms and holds her. The reader gets to see their relationship through flashbacks going backwards from the end to the very beginning. It was interesting to read a book this way, but, it did put you more in touch with the characters.

Connor and Ann's relationship started out great. Ann was aware of his trouble at home and had decided and put all of her effort into helping him. Before she even realized what was happening, she had pushed everyone away and actually lost herself in the process. She literally lived every day for Connor. Connor knew what he was doing to Ann and even had begged her to leave a few times because he really did love her and did not want to be like his father. I felt a sense of sadness for Connor and just like Ann had wished that his mother could have been a stronger person and leave his dad so that maybe he would not have such anger issues himself. The writer did a great job at showing different scenarios in which made you love Connor and understand why Ann had such a deep connection to him. I would have liked to really read more. I was curious as to what had happened with Connor when the book ended.

This book was a huge eye opener for me. Especially when you see battered woman all the time and you just do not understand. It would be so easy for them to walk away? Not so much when they put their heart and soul into this relationship and they keep thinking that things will be different. I will remember this next time I think that to myself. I was once in a bad relationship, not physical but psychological, I had enough strength to just walk away. Some woman do not.

I thank Ms. Hubbard a.k.a Amanda Grace for opening our eyes to the world of domestic violence and make each and every one of us realize that things aren't always what you see on the outside. It's on the inside that hurts the most!
(less)

4 likes · like · see review

Jul 08, 2011 Shannon (aka Readergirl) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

Wow. I usually try to write my review within 24 hours of reading a book. With this one, I had to wait. It was just impossible for me to do it immediately after reading the book because I was just speechless. I wouldn't have been able to articulate my thoughts on this one at all, as it got to me on so many levels.

First, I'm sure you can see from the opening sentence of the Goodreads summary that this story is about abuse in a relationship. I actually didn't realize that when I picked it up. This...more Wow. I usually try to write my review within 24 hours of reading a book. With this one, I had to wait. It was just impossible for me to do it immediately after reading the book because I was just speechless. I wouldn't have been able to articulate my thoughts on this one at all, as it got to me on so many levels.

First, I'm sure you can see from the opening sentence of the Goodreads summary that this story is about abuse in a relationship. I actually didn't realize that when I picked it up. This was one of those rare moments when I didn't bother to read the back cover copy but sat down with the book based on title and cover. I am so glad that I did. I was in for a rude awakening...expecting a cute contemporary. Imagine my surprise. Do I regret it though? Not one bit.

This is one of those books that leaves you breathless, emotionally drained, in shock, but somehow oh, so grateful that you got to read it. Like it was somehow a gift of someone's heart that you got to share. I know I'm waxing poetic on this one but I can't help it. It was just so touching and so heart-wrenching for me.

Oftentimes, when people hear about someone who stays in an abusive relationship, they think to themselves, "why does that person stay? I would have left a long time ago." I've thought it myself. Well, this book gives you the answer for why people stay, even when it hurts them. The author did such an amazing job of revealing the innermost workings of a person in an abusive relationship. You can truly see how they are convinced to stay, even as you beg for her to get out while you read. The fact that Amanda Grace was able to do this so skillfully was phenomenal.

Very rarely does a book make me cry. This one did. I actually found it on the shelf in Barnes and Noble and started reading it there. Two hours later, I was still sitting in Barnes and Noble when I finished the book. Then I bought it. That scenario doesn't typically happen to me. A) I rarely finish a book in the store, even if I do like to sit down and enjoy it a little before I leave with it. B) If I did finish a book in the store, why would I then buy it? Because I had to own it.

I could go on and on... but you get the idea. I typically end my reviews by saying "If you liked this book, you might also like...." Today I won't. I don't know of a book that I could compare this to. Bravo Amanda Grace. Beautiful.
(less)

3 likes · like · see review

Jan 19, 2013 Jackie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I've only read a few books on domestic violence. I like to educate myself about the situations and how people psychologically think and feel about them.

This one was different because it was told from end to beginning, with bits of the current thrown in randomly. The author wanted people to avoid judging the main character by not immediately showing why she chose what she did. It was hard for me to follow the story, and towards the end I finally got used to the fact that the things after lead to...more

1 like · like · see review

Apr 21, 2011 P.J. rated it 5 of 5 stars

Book 19 for 2011. This is a hugely intense book I was unable to put down. The author chooses to tell the story backwards, and at first this threw me. Yet, when I reached the end, I was sold on the fact that to convey the message, this was exactly the right way to tell the story. Highly recommended for girls seventh grade and up, fans of realistic fiction or not.

5 likes · like · see review

Jul 18, 2011 Amanda rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: on-my-bookshelf

I felt the book read more like a diary than an actual novel. She was telling her story.. and thats pretty much it. The story in general is one we hear all too often both personally and in the media, and I will admit I could relate to a few situations myself. But I couldn't get passed the excuses she kept making for her boyfriends actions. It was a little too annoying for me, and I just plain didn't enjoy reading it. This book gets two stars from me, quick somewhat emotional read, but really lack...more

3 likes · like · see review

Apr 17, 2013 Xx rated it 5 of 5 stars

Loved this book so much. It was one of the most heartbreaking stories I have read and I rarely read books that revolve around abuse becaus it usually just falls flat but this was so well made. I didnt want to put it down and i really wanted to see what happened next, it made me sad to see how Connor turned out like the man he hated, the man who ruined his life but then again...it was almost inevitable since he didnt really get help with his issues, talk to someone about it, instead he just repre...more

like · see review

Feb 08, 2013 Shxrxn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Sometimes at night, I wake up and stare at the heart for hours, thinking of all it means to me, and to him. I think of how I worked for so long to give it to him. How I collected each piece from the beach, how I glued it all together into one big sculpture.
- Ann
I wonder if he stares at it like I do. I wonder if he realizes what it means, that he’ll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of glass is another piece of myself I gave to him. It’s too bad I didn’t keep any pieces...more

like · see review

Dec 05, 2012 Kay Randall rated it 4 of 5 stars

But i Love Him is one of the best books about abuse at the hands of the one you love that I've ever read. Amanda Grace does an amazing job of touching on all the elements that cause strong, beautiful, capable women to fall into such a dark place. And in a world where there are always two sides to each coin, she doesn't forget to fill in the pain and back story for the abuser. The chapter titled "May 20" when Ann begins to realize that Connor will not be able to let his past go in order that they...more

like · see review

Nov 15, 2012 Paulina Vera rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: los-quiero-ahora-ya, en-el-kindle

Reseña original en: http://delapicesconcarbonytinta.blogs... :)

Esta historia comienza por el final y termina por el principio.
No comienza con el ya casi típico "chica conoce al nuevo chico de la escuela y que resulta ser el chico malo". Tampoco comienza con que la chica es la nueva alumna en la escuela y resultar ser tímida e ingenua. Nop. Este comienzo es crudo e impactante, real.
Nuestra protagonista no se ríe, no disfruta. Esta tirada en el suelo, siente que, además de su corazón, hay partes...more

1 like · like · see review

Nov 04, 2012 jean_grey rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: loved-it

Oh wow, I loved this book. I'd been desperate to read it for ages after seeing a review on it, and when I finally managed to purchase it through Kobo I was super-stoked and really glad the wait was worth it.
I loved how Amanda had written the book in reverse chronological order. One of the first reviews I read mentioned how the book was hard to read because of it, but I would have to disagree as I thought it was a great idea, and I found myself unable to put the book down - I read it all in one g...more

like · see review

Aug 16, 2012 Bibliojunkies added it

"Sometimes at night, I wake up and stare at the heart for hours. I think of how I collected each piece from the beach, how I glued it all together into one big sculpture. I wonder if Connor realizes what it means, that he’ll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of glass is another piece of myself that I gave to him.

It’s too bad I didn’t keep any pieces for myself."

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and a track star with friends and a fu...more

like · see review

May 14, 2012 Maggie61 rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: maggie-s-100-for-2012

This is a book that all girls should read. What starts as a beautiful relationship can quickly or gradually escalate into an abusive one. Everyone thinks it would never happen to them and they wouldn't allow it but it isn't that simple.
Ann who has not had a lot of boyfriends or relationships in the past is thrilled and head over heels when she meets Connor, a boy from an abusive home. Ann is so in love with Connor that she doesn't really realize how their relationship gradually changes. He grad...more

1 like · like · see review

Apr 05, 2012 Katrina Ly rated it 5 of 5 stars

i'd really actually give this book a 4.5 rating instead of 5 because it took me a while to work out all those dates refered to how long ann had been with conner and not the other way round. so as you can imagine, i was really confused for more than three quaters of the book. to my shame, i admit that around halfway through the book, i had to force myself to keep reading though because i was getting sleepy and i wasn;t sure whether anything was really going to happen in the book-as in, if she was...more

like · see review

Mar 25, 2012 Shelley Daugherty rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book deals with what life is like for a teenage girl who is abused by her boyfriend. It makes a point to show how the abuse begins small and escalates over time. I found the topic interesting but the format of the book was very hard to read. Basically the book starts at today then progressively goes back through the last year of her relationship with the boy and how it got to the point it is at now. I think I could have dealt with this format a little better if it had started at the beginni...more

like · see review

Mar 20, 2012 Reading Teen rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is a strong, interesting, disturbing story. It begins at the one year mark of the relationship between Ann and Connor, 17 and 18 years old, respectively. From there the story rewinds showing us the progression of their romance. Connor and Ann are teens who come from very different backgrounds but make an instant connection when they meet. Ann is a senior in high school, captain of the track team and working towards college. Connor is a smart young man who dropped out of high school, go...more This book is a strong, interesting, disturbing story. It begins at the one year mark of the relationship between Ann and Connor, 17 and 18 years old, respectively. From there the story rewinds showing us the progression of their romance. Connor and Ann are teens who come from very different backgrounds but make an instant connection when they meet. Ann is a senior in high school, captain of the track team and working towards college. Connor is a smart young man who dropped out of high school, got his GED and is trying to make enough money to move out on his own. Ann lives with her widowed mother and is trying to figure out how to reconnect with her since her father's death shattered their world. Connor lives with his parents and his first priority is protecting his mother from his abusive father. Unfortunately, both of these teens are in need of something much more than the other one can give.

There is a lot of sexual content and strong language in the book. The story itself is about a topic which is sad and frightening. The author does an excellent job of showing us how what appears to be a perfectly normal teenage romance can turn into a violent, destructive and life-threatening prison. The development of the characters helps the reader to understand some of the reasons Connor uses physical, emotional and verbal abuse to deal with the insecurities of his life and why Ann would even want to stay with him. In spite of the content, I would recommend that both parents and teens read this book. Domestic abuse is a scary situation and knowledge can hopefully help in avoiding entanglements in this type of relationship. I thought the book handled the subject matter in a way that is interesting and informative. It can serve as an educational tool for parents and teens alike.

-Janeth

Content:

Sexual Content: Heavy
Profanity: Very Heavy
Violence: Heavy (Abuse)
Other Notables: Talk of suicide, father is an alcoholic

For more details, check out But I Love Him on Parentalbookreviews.com(less)

2 likes · like · see review

Mar 20, 2012 Whatchyareading added it

Shelves: christine, contemporary, young-adult

The idea of abuse in a teenage relationship, for some, is a topic that never really comes up in thought or conversation. It is a serious issue, though. Teen dating abuse is just as serious and real as any other type of abuse. But I Love Him takes a hard look at this issue, from the point of view of the narrator, Ann. The slow decent into her abusive relationship is both intense and a necessary, cautionary tale about an addictive love that grew beyond one girl’s control.

One of the more interestin...more

like · see review

Mar 12, 2012 Rebecca Alora rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-i-own, books-read-in-2012

I really wanted to love this book. I mean in a monumental way I wanted to love this book. However it just didn't speak to me. It's not a terrible book. Not by any means is it a bad read. It's just a very intense read told in a strange way. You flip back and forth through time, from the beginning to the blessed end, and it's very confusing. I muddled through.

I think part of the reason this book was so easy for me to relate to and so hard for me to read is because I have been in several abusive re...more I really wanted to love this book. I mean in a monumental way I wanted to love this book. However it just didn't speak to me. It's not a terrible book. Not by any means is it a bad read. It's just a very intense read told in a strange way. You flip back and forth through time, from the beginning to the blessed end, and it's very confusing. I muddled through.

I think part of the reason this book was so easy for me to relate to and so hard for me to read is because I have been in several abusive relationships over the years. It seems to be my MO in relationships, but that's enough about me.

MY heart reached out to Ann. She had no idea what she was getting into and by the time she did she was in far too deep to get out. Don't get me wrong, she could have gotten "out" at any point that she wanted to. The thing about abusive relationships is that it twists and warps love. It makes you think that someone is controlling you and separating you from everyone that you love because they just want to be with you.

For all her stupidity, Ann was really just a normal girl who got caught up in the wrong relationship and fell in love with the wrong man. I would like to say I use the term very loosely for her paramour because no man, no human being should neither control another person or use manipulation and brute force to do so.

One thing I will say about this book is that if you read it, and I mean really read it and try to understand Ann's mindset, you will come away with a completely different mindset about abusive relationships. You might understand quite a bit better what happens inside the victim's head during an abusive relationship.

Because the whole premise of the book really comes down to the title: But I love him. It's the excuse every victim makes.

All I ask when you read this book is to really read it and try to understand. Yes, it will annoy you when Ann doesn't get out before it gets bad. And yes, you will think the end is long overdue. But no one deserves this treatment. And I hope anyone who walks away from this book will have a better understanding of it.
(less)

like · see review

Mar 06, 2012 Julia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: heartbreakingly-wonderful, real-life

Wow. This book is just wow.
The book starts in the middle of the story - not at the beginning, as stories usually start, not at the end either, where some others begin. You're thrown right into the mess that's Ann's life and you don't have any other choice than to sit back and watch where this is going and how she got into this situation in the first place. You realize Ann is in a relationship with a guy who mistreats her both physically and emotionally. You don't really understand why she is let...more Wow. This book is just wow.
The book starts in the middle of the story - not at the beginning, as stories usually start, not at the end either, where some others begin. You're thrown right into the mess that's Ann's life and you don't have any other choice than to sit back and watch where this is going and how she got into this situation in the first place. You realize Ann is in a relationship with a guy who mistreats her both physically and emotionally. You don't really understand why she is letting him do this to her but you kind of want to understand. And the story flows in a way that makes this sad and terrible story easier to read.

The author Amanda Grace said that people tend to look at domestic violence in a way that almost seems that they're blaming the victims for not leaving their abuser. Usually people say: 'If somebody laid a finger on me, I'd leave him right away.' And it is really difficult to understand how and why a nice young girl with a promising future would throw everything away to be with someone who treats her like shit.

Since the story starts in the middle of everything you don't just throw the book away and say: "That girl is stupid, this book is stupid, I'm not going to read anything like that." Because that's probably what I'd done if I read Ann's and Connor's story from the start. I wouldn't feel sympathy towards Ann, I'd pity her for being so easy to manipulate by a man. But Amanda Grace knew that this is our tendency and therefore gave the book a different structure so it'd be easier to enter the story.
So the structuring deserves definitely five stars, as it was big part of the reading experience.
Another interesting thing about starting in the middle of Ann's story is that at first I hated Connor so much, which is pretty obviously, but it was a first for me, since I always tend to rather like the villains in most stories. But he isn't just a flawed,imperfect person. He's a monster who's broken inside and wants to break everyone else.

And even though Ann is so naïv and kind of 'dumb' about her love for this guy, I felt so much sympathy for her. She was all alone, dealing with so much and had nobody to turn to, which was her fault since she pushed everyone away. But I wanted to just hug her and be there for her. She was so brave during everything and her heart was so pure and full of love for that asshole. How can people blame the victims if they're just more eager to love than anyone else?

Well, I said I hated Connor at first. But since the story was regressing to the start of their relationship, which means that by every chapter that I read Connor would get more normal and even loving, something weird happened with my mind and I just started to feel really bad for him, too. Yes, he is a monster but maybe if he had just grown up in another environment he would be a normal dude. His father was to blame and than maybe his parents and so on. It's a cycle and it's really dangerous. I don't really understand much about the psychological part of abuser's , because there are many people who had difficult and even violent childhoods but who don't become violent or cruel and they can work it all out with time.

So, anyway, you can see that this book makes you think. Very much. I love books that teach you something and this one shows me that I should never judge anyone before knowing their story.

The only thing that annoyed me a little bit was that Ann would repeat the same things about Connor over and over again, like 'I love him so much, I will save him,' or whatever it was she said. I understand that it was kind of like a personal brainwashing or a kind of mantra that she kept telling herself to be strong, but it still got annoying.

But I Love Him is an amazing book and I recommend it to anyone who likes YA books with an edge. Anyone who likes psychological dramas and who is interested in Women's Right's will probably like this book,too.(less)

like · see review

Feb 24, 2012 Alicia rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: abuse, dysfunctional, romance

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I couldn't have chosen a better format for the story-- which she briefly discusses at the end-- by "working backward". Connor and Ann meet at the very end of the book, but from the beginning they are together and Connor is an abuser. Ann has lost all semblance of herself and both her mother, best friend, and Blake all know this, but generally stand and let Ann make the decision because they have tried too many times to convince her otherwise.

It's the same old story that demonstrates the love/ha...more

1 like · like · see review

Feb 17, 2012 Kayla rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: abusive-relationship, wth-is-wrong-with-you-girl, wanted-to-like-it-but-did-not

I really wanted to like this book but I couldn't. The timeline the author used confused me at times. I did like the first couple of chapters but after the repetitive I love him, he didn't use to be like this, maybe I'll fix him up, I'm the only one who has faith in him thing it upset me.

Ann lacked strength and brains for that matter. It seemed as if she couldn't exist without Connor (and she did say that at one point.) She confused love with need. Thinking she loved him because of what he used t...more

like · see review

Dec 30, 2011 Triss rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Abused, used, confused, teen girls, women

Recommended to Triss by: Displayed at school library

I was drawn to the cover at first. It was a heart with shards of glass and u honestly thought it was going to be like the books CRUNK. I thought the shards of glass were representing a drug related topic. I turned it around and read the background and I was hooked on knowing the full story. This book shows the course of a year how an abusive relationship can ruin ones life without even noticing the effects. Anne is a good grades, average happy go lucky high school señor. The book starts out in t...more

like · see review

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … 99 100 next »

new topic
Discuss This Book

There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Recommend it | Stats | Recent status updates

combine
Other Editions (3)

Videos About This Book

1 comment

Genres

Young Adult

127 users

Contemporary

52 users

Realistic Fiction

43 users

Sociology > Abuse

35 users

Romance

33 users

Young Adult > Teen

15 users

Drama

14 users

Womens Fiction > Chick Lit

9 users

Novels

6 users

Young Adult > Young Adult Romance

5 users

See top shelves...

Readers also enjoyed similar books

Bitter End
by Jennifer Brown
Ordinary Beauty
by Laura Wiess
I'm Not Her
by Janet Gurtler
Invincible Summer
by Hannah Moskowitz
Want to Go Private?
by Sarah Darer Littman

About Amanda Grace

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Amanda Grace is a pen name for Young Adult author Mandy Hubbard (PRADA AND PREJUDICE, YOU WISH). She lives near Seattle, Washington, with her husband and young daughter.

More about Amanda Grace...

Books by Amanda Grace

More…

Share This Book

Facebook Twitter Your website

Trivia About But I Love Him

7 trivia questions

More quizzes & trivia...

Quotes from But I Love Him

“But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep and I'm nestled in his arms, this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually all of the scars will have scars, and that's all I'll be--one big scar of a love gone wrong.” — 221 people liked it

“I wanted to be his life preserver, the thing that would keep him afloat. Instead, he became my anchor. And I’m tired of drowning.” — 181 people liked it

More quotes…

title link	preview: But I Love Him
avg rating	preview: But I Love Him Goodreads rating: 3.73 (2228 ratings)
small image	preview: click here [close]
med image	preview: click here [close]
BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9541845-but-i-love-him?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1348430026l/9541845.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9541845-but-i-love-him?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]But I Love Him by Amanda Grace[/url]

But I Love Him

Friend Reviews

Community Reviews

Share This Book

Share This Book on Your Website