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Modelland (Modelland #1)

3.01  ·  Rating Details  ·  2,118 Ratings  ·  564 Reviews
No one gets in without being asked. And with her untamable hair, large forehead, and gawky body, Tookie De La Crème isn’t expecting an invitation. Modelland—the exclusive, mysterious place on top of the mountain—never dares to make an appearance in her dreams.

But someone has plans for Tookie. Before she can blink her mismatched eyes, Tookie finds herself in the very place
Hardcover, 570 pages
Published April 26th 2011 by Random House Children's Books
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Feb 01, 2012 Wigs rated it liked it
Three stars? Three stars, Wigs??? You say???

This book. Where do I even start?

I picked up this book because of the second to last episode of America's Next Top Model all star season, which featured the priceless Modelland photoshoot which gave us these gifs:

And I was intrigued. I then further got incentive when my friend Kelcey and I decided to challenge ourselves to get through this almost 600 page book.

this happened.


Because reading this book is like this:

Oh. Trust me. This book i

Oh, look! I found a gif of Tyra writing Modelland!

Steph Sinclair
Mar 23, 2012 Steph Sinclair marked it as due-to-reviews-lost-interest
WTF is this?!

Tyra, Trya, Tyra... Oh you. Lol.

Let us do a bit of pre-reviewing shall we?

No one gets in without being asked. And with her untamable hair, large forehead, and gawky body, Tookie De La Crème isn’t expecting an invitation.

Tookie? Tookie?! Is that seriously the most creative name she could thing of? Then she had the nerve to tack on "De La Crème." For what, Tyra? Because if her "large forehead, and gawky body" doesn't drive the point home, her name will? Please stop while you're ahead
This is the worst book I’ve ever read. Worst. The worst book. I’ve read The Sword of Shannara and Skye O'Malley. This is the worst book. I can’t even believe this book exists. It is about . . .

Well, imagine if Effie Trinket wrote a book about Bella Swan that took place in David Lynch’s brain, using as literary reference the Harry Potter series and the Uglies series.

effie trinket looking crazy while she calls Katniss to the Hunger Games

Kristin Stewart emotional chart showing that her expressions never change

Dale Palmer bashing his head against a mirror and looking at a reflection of Bob

It is bad and somewhat horrifying at the same time. And while both Skye O’Malley and this book had some creepy abuse of women and g
Jubilation Lee
So I suddenly realized I hadn’t reviewed this, despite having finished it two weeks ago, and… I just don’t know if I’m going to be able to manage anything coherent.

Imagine you handed me a rotten fish and said, “Review this.” Well clearly, it’s a rotten fish. What can you say about it that isn’t immediately obvious? Any attempt to expound upon the clear, dead, smelly rotten fishness of the thing is just overkill.

But! Let it never be said that I don’t at least do my damndest to impart my opinion
Oct 02, 2011 Kiki marked it as to-read
Shelves: masochism, now-pls
I absolutely HAVE to read this book. It looks supremely, enticingly shit, and you all know how much I love to shred books that make me die inside.

Bring it on, bitches!
Megan (Book Brats)
Feb 13, 2012 Megan (Book Brats) rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: masochists
Modelland, a place where every girl’s dream comes true. A place where girls are turned into Intoxibellas, superheroes with powers of seduction, teleportation, empathy…

Okay, let’s face it. MODELLAND might possibly be one of the biggest literary train wrecks ever. If Tyra Banks was not some famous supermodel with bigger name recognition than Madeleine Albright, then this book would have hopefully never been published. The fact it was published anyway makes me question lots of things, particularly
Peter Derk
Feb 03, 2016 Peter Derk rated it did not like it
Today, I finished fucking Modelland. A saga that began on May 28th, the year of our lord 20 and 12.

Let's finish up the plot on this mother and then bury it all deep within our brains, only to return again when I'm demented and in a nursing home, muttering shit about Chris-Cream-Crobat and the like.

We last left our...I want to say "heroes", but let's just call them people we're following.

We last left our people we're following when it was revealed that they all know each other from back when. Sor
John Egbert

If you remember, I believe I used the same for my to-read pre-review of City of Ashes. And we all know how much I liked that book. And how many status updates I trolled my friends with.

Those of you who read the shelves are probably thinking "WTF?? Why did she do that?"

Well, for the same reason anyone does anything, my dears:

Feb 18, 2015 Kelly rated it did not like it
Oh wow!
This is the most badly written book i have ever EVER read in my entire life. I honestly don't know how it got published, but oh well... it has, and I have read it!

It was tacky - she describes it as "camp" but the only this i found 'camp' is the gay as anything school teacher at the Modelland Academy, the rest is just ridiculously mindless and my 4 year old daughter could conjure up better names for any of the things/places/people. The names of the 4 sectors of the town will give you an id
Giselle (Book Nerd Canada)
May 06, 2015 Giselle (Book Nerd Canada) rated it did not like it
Shelves: from-publishers, dnf, 2011
I can't read the rest. It made my brain hurt. I got to chapter 5 and couldn't read anymore. Wow.
Nov 30, 2011 Mikaela marked it as to-read
This little box is asking me what I think. To be honest I have no idea how in the world to explian that. The only thing going through my head is a loud and resounding "WHAT?"

I mean, Tookie De La Creme? With a name like that, you can just tell that this novel is NOT going to be pretty.

Some predictions?

- There will be a head bitch model who is super pretty and skinny and well loved/hated
- There will be a ridicoulously hot guys who falls for the ugly protagonist rather than the pretty skinny bit

I just read Modelland. In one day. Why? Because it's such a train wreck I couldn't actually stop. I don't know what I read. I'm confused. I think someone slipped me some drugs.

Things that I thought I'd get out of this book:
-some posing with hands on hips or something
-a message of female empowerment
-maybe a romance?

What I actually got out of this book:
-dumpster diving
-armpit sniffing
-some very graphic puke scenes

So from the cover, I understood that this was a something-like-a-dysto
Jennifer Rinehart
Sep 04, 2011 Jennifer Rinehart rated it did not like it
Tookie, according to the urban dictionary is an adjective used to describe a) a shotgun killing, in particular those of notorious Crips Gang founder, Stanley 'Tookie' Williams, and b) a female sex organ.

After having read this book, I think I can safely say that Ms. Banks is not alluding to Stanley Williams, his innocence or guilt or gangsta culture in general as for the female sex organ, hmm, I'm still not entirely sure.

Tookie de la Creme, the heroine of Modelland, wants to be a model, she also
Jul 20, 2014 Anjum rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: People who like Tyra and ANTM who do not shy away from absolute crazed reality.
As a preface: I know that there are sooo many people that think that this book is such a trip that it's rather unreadable and they hate it. I actually completely understand this viewpoint, and I don't like the book for it's...Well a lot of things that one would classically write a book for. It really seems like a piece that someone would write and then post to the internet, not a published book. So I'll say straightaway that if you don't want a book that is somewhat of an acid trip, then don't r ...more
S.J. Kincaid
I've only read the first chapter. IMO, this promises to be the most terrifying dystopian of all.
Nov 20, 2013 Goose rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: people looking for something to have a drinking game with
So uhhh
Like where do I even start with this?

Okay, so Tyra Banks, world famous model, decided to enter the world of literature. I honestly believe this book was written by her and not ghost written because dude this fuckery

Like, just this fuckery

Okay so the main character Tookie de la Creme (yes all the names are like this, brace yourself) is a Tyra Banks self insert who is awkward and gawky and nobody even cares about her. She is unexpectedly chosen to come to Modelland: America's Next Top Model
Oct 14, 2011 j marked it as to-read
Why do I want to read this so bad?

Why do I want to read this, so bad?
Laurie Smith
Sep 08, 2011 Laurie Smith rated it liked it
Update: Remember her audience appeals to 12-15 year old tweens.

Many of the reviewers passed through this awkward phase in life and probably can not relate to the story's message.

* * *
Original Review:
I admit, I am a self-professed America's Next Top Model fan hooked since season one. I find the model world and teens everywhere wanting this quest fascinating. Therefore, sit back, open the book, and enter the realm of Modelland. Tyra Banks delivers a fantasy tale with the same creative gusto whi
Aug 12, 2011 Anila marked it as not-with-a-ten-foot-pole
You know, Cillian, I'd heard of this one before you recommended it.

I have zero intention of reading it. Ever.

I mean, egad. When was the last time you heard something this stupid?
Lisa Eskra
Sep 03, 2011 Lisa Eskra rated it did not like it
Take the first Harry Potter book and mash it together with some cheesy romance and prose comparable to Stephanie Meyer. That's "Modelland." I'd expected a short book, but it's over 500 pages long, and is the first of a trilogy. I cannot get over how amateurish the cover looks. It looks worse than many self-published novels I've seen. And judging by the clunky text, I'd almost mistake it for one.

The first think I noticed about the novel were the questionable name choices for the characters. Tooki
Sep 09, 2014 Aly∞ marked it as to-read
Shelves: buddy-read-figgy
You know what? I'm going to read this for the LOLs. Shitty book with a shitty plot and even shittier characters?

*cracks knuckles*

Mar 15, 2015 Hayden marked it as how-bout-no
Seriously, Goodreads? You're wondering why I'm not going to read this?
Christina (A Reader of Fictions)
May 06, 2013 Christina (A Reader of Fictions) rated it did not like it
Recommended to Christina (A Reader of Fictions) by: Steph Sinclair
Shelves: sadie-hawkins
I've never done a vlog review before, and I doubt I'll do many. However, I thought it might be the best way for me to get my thoughts across for this particular book. I'm not going to type out all or most of what I said, but I will give you a quick paragraph's summation of my general thoughts on Modelland, as well as some additional feedback.

Honestly, Modelland was not as bad as I was expecting, but this doesn't mean it was good. The world it's set in makes no actual sense, as there don't really
Look, I won't lie, I enjoyed this book. I enjoyed it in the way that I enjoyed watching the first four seasons of Jersey Shore back to back.
It's ridiculous. I think the only memorable mention is that there are so many fashion puns, like "Run-way, don't walk!" that made me cringe and laugh, because I love puns, no matter how bad they are. In fact, the worse they are, the better.

As for everything else? Meh.

The world building is confusing, and I still have no idea what happened. I assume it's set
Melissa Powers
Feb 01, 2012 Melissa Powers rated it it was amazing
Shelves: works-of-genius
Sometimes a decent book is slightly weird enough, or slightly cliche enough, or slightly stupid enough to ruin your enjoyment. Tyra Banks' "Modelland" is an amazing achievement, boldly flying in the face of all those problems, and is somehow weird and cliche and stupid enough to be surprising and riveting.

One of the only books I have ever read where I was literally kept guessing until the end. So unexpected, I loved every second of the madness.

Also, for all those unsure of picking this one up,
Oct 03, 2011 Lore marked it as not-going-to-read
Oh. Okay.


Okay, so first it's Duff, now we got Tyra Banks?

I'm sorry, but stick to your day job.

And Tookie De La Creme? What is this girl? A Desert?

...And after reading the first chapter online for free, um....well it makes a stephenie meyer book look like a masterpiece.
No kidding, I might be being harsh, but really, go see for yourself:
Here, If you dare

And I guess it was about time some pop-head decided to write a Hunger Games/Uglies rip-off.

I'm not sure this deserves two stars, but it gets bonus points for sheer WTF-ery.

Even if the writing had been better, this felt more like a collection of ideas than a cohesive story. Odd-looking girl who is perpetually overlooked until the wise/successful/rebellious Tyra Ci-L sees her potential? Check. SMIZEs? Check. Quirky, possibly schizophrenic friend? Snarkily named buildings at Modelland? Characters who sound like a cross between Andre Leon Talley and J. Alexander? Check, check, check.

Jan 27, 2013 Liane rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: people who hate life
Shelves: just-no
So I found this book in a collection of horror (and some other genres but I firmly believe that Modelland is a horror book) and oh my god. It is going to give me nightmares. (view spoiler)

That's not the worst.

I feel like I have been in the Tyrant's head and I never want to go back again. But I'll probably read the sequel too because this is a car crash and you can't stop looking at it.
I just read the excerpt and honestly, I've never read anything this bad.The writing is so bad, it makes Stephanie Mayers look...good. It pains me to say that. Like, legitimately, I'm getting chest pains writing this.
The excerpt sort of reminded me of the the first time I saw the Pawggles commercial. You know...those stuffed animal things that turn into slippers? The less awesome version of pillow pets? No? Well here

(sorry, the HTML thing confuses me)

I'm s
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All That We Love: Am I the Only One Who Liked this Book? 3 19 Nov 11, 2014 01:01PM  
ONTD Book Club: July - Modelland 82 178 Jul 26, 2012 09:57PM  
Goodreads Librari...: This topic has been closed to new comments. 5-stars Review Spammers 15 283 Oct 09, 2011 11:46AM  
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Tyra Lynne Banks is an American supermodel, television personality, talk show host, actress, businessperson and singer. She became famous first as a model in Paris, Milan, London, Tokyo, and New York, but television appearances made her even more so. She is known best as hostess/judge of the reality television show America's Next Top Model since its 2003 debut, and is currently hosting her own Day ...more
More about Tyra Banks...

Other Books in the Series

Modelland (2 books)
  • Untitled (Modelland, #2)

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“Love is an excuse to be stupid” 8 likes
“He followed the sweet scent not of blood orange, but of the pancreas and thymus glands that lived within one particular platinum-headed Unica, and he resumed his trek to Modelland.” 1 likes
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