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The Five Love Languages of Children

4.22 of 5 stars 4.22  ·  rating details  ·  9,243 ratings  ·  1,024 reviews
Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do thei ...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published June 1st 1997 by Northfield Publishing (first published May 28th 1995)
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Community Reviews

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Rachael
Feb 21, 2008 Rachael rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: A Must Read For All Parents
I think this book is fascinating! I've noticed that my children, my spouse and I all have a love language that relates to them. The love language is your preferred way of giving & receiving love. What I loved most about this book is the knowledge that when you discipline a child in their love language it cuts really deep. For example, my daughter is a words of affirmation child, and when I correct her actions, she shuts down (even when I do it in the nicest way 'we can't touch that sweetie') ...more
Jennifer Wedemeyer
Immediately, I realized that I wasn't meeting each of my children's individual love need. I thought my son's main love language was physical touch but it's also words of affirmation. This is so obvious in that he is always touching, always wrestling, and always in your personal space and now that I realize it he's also always asking if everything is ok, did he do this ok, am I all right and he is so happy after receiving positive words of affirmation from myself and my husband. After reading Gar ...more
Joshua Park
With any book that's designed to help parents be better parents for their kids, it's easy to fall into the trap of defining the success of the book by whether its advice was successful in the reader's family. The fact that every child is different is actually the highlight of this book. This helps people understand why two kids might react completely differently to the same gifts, the same activities, and the same punishments. It has to do with how the people involved show and express love.

Most
...more
Karen
I am a blue, type - A, ESTJ, who likes to be shown love through quality time, and likes long walks on the beach and....WAIT, no I'm not. I'm Karen, a girl with lots of personality quirks, one of which is that I dislike pop psychology books that tell me I and everyone else fits into one of their created, ficticious descriptions. I have to admit, I didn't even finish this book (I did read almost all of it though). Probably most of us are familiar with the five love languages, they have enjoyed bei ...more
Rock Rockwell
Now that you know my love language, will you use it against me? Seriously, compartamentalizing love into five expressions is a bit limited. To some it may help to understand why those "special" people don't meet our expectations, and how to accept their love expression (even though it may not mean much to my love language receptor). I was one of the unusual ones that couldn't figure out my love language... sort of like those personality/gift tests (dinc) that put me in the "I don't know" range. ...more
Jessie
I've read the original 5 Love Languages and so this one was sort of a waste of my time. I did find some valuable tips and interesting insights, but the 5 languages are the same for kids as adults, so it was the same book all over again. With an adult, you can say, "Here honey, take this quiz to let me know what your primary love language is." With kids, you can't do that as easily. This book (politely) says to the reader, "Hey, dummy. Try quality time and see how your kid responds. Then try word ...more
Sueij
The authors expound on their theory that there are five different ways that people express and experience love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. By the time kids are five or so, they say, the kids have started to have a preference (before then children just need love in all the languages all the time). Knowing your child's love language can help you to be sure that they know that you love them, which leads to all kinds of good things they'd like to t ...more
Tiffany
Aug 20, 2008 Tiffany rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone, but especially parents
Shelves: non-fiction
My oldest child is much like me, but my second felt so different! But for the first time I'm understanding him, and this book may be the difference between a close relationship with him during these formative years, and a distant one.

This is the best parenting book I've read. In a nutshell: everyone shows love and desires love in return, but we do it in different ways. Those "ways" are called languages, and are condensed into five types. Receiving love in YOUR language fills your love tank. Kids
...more
Sarah
I am really torn over what I thought of this book. While I like the concepts and I think it had valuable information I had a hard time with it. For some reason I couldn't get into the writing style. I constantly found my mind wandering and having to go back and re-read portions. The last several parenting books that I have read have been very readable so I found this hard to reconcile.

For the most part I felt like the "love languages" were well explained but in the later chapters when examples
...more
midnightfaerie
The five love languages has had much acclaim for the use in parenting children as well in the aiding of marriages. I found the book slightly interesting, mildly helpful, and downright obvious in spots. While understanding the different love languages a person can have: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, can move you worlds closer to getting along with someone, it doesn't necessarily always bridge the gap of personality comprehension. For chi ...more
Molly
I appreciate the aims of this book. My biggest worry as a parent--or rather, ONE of my many biggest--is that my daughter will not feel sufficiently loved/appreciated/proud of/etc. Love was a complicated and fraught thing in my home growing up, which has led me to be overly-concerned and ready to consume the books offered at the library in hopes of not missing out.

This is another one of those books that could have been covered in a nice article rather than a lengthy book and the elaborations seem
...more
Danica
I wish I had read this book a lot sooner in my parenting journey. Perhaps it's because I am lacking in so many ways as a mom, but I had so many light bulbs going off while reading this gem. Like always, I will take some advice and leave some advice, but what I will "leave" will be little! I'm already noticing a big difference in my relationship with Carson as I've made a strong effort to use all the love languages with him (I was leaving some out entirely). I loved it.
Adriane Devries
As parents, it is our duty alone to discern which love language (physical touch, quality time, gift, acts of service, and words of affirmation) is best suited to each of our children. Though we of course love our children, how we communicate this love is not necessarily how they receive it, and therefore our language may go unheard, leaving their “love tank” empty. Learning these new languages will take work and discomfort, but worth the effort to enable them to mature in their ability to learn ...more
Stephanie Burkhart
The Five Love Languages for Children is a book that will help parents better understand what motivates their kids and how to keep them happy.
There are five topics which everyone understands: physical touch, words of affirmation, giving gifts, acts of service, and quality time. Chapman and Campbell talk a little about each language and how they make us feel.

Chapman and Campbell have a writing style that is easy to read and engages the reader with it's conversational style. They use several scenar
...more
Mary-ann
This outstanding book addresses how each child expresses and receives love through one of five main "languages" - quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Although children need to be spoken to in each of these love languages, there's one love language that meets their deepest emotional needs and should be used often with them. Once we figure out what our children's primary love language is, we will be able to better understand their personal communication m ...more
IrenesBookReviews
This book is the revised version of The 5 Love Languages of Children written by Dr. Gary D. Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell. I have not read the other versions so will not be comparing this one to any of the other books.

I have heard of this book over the years and the concept that we all have a way that we receive love. This particular book centers on how our children accept and feel love. The authors break down into 5 different areas (or languages as they call it) the ways to express love to our
...more
Ashley FL
I took a class that used this book and at the time, thought it was fabulous and brilliant and insightful. My kids were really young and I couldn't wait for them to be old enough to try this all out on them.

I just went back and re-read it, and this time found it interesting and somewhat helpful but lacking in concrete ways to determine love languages in children. It would have helped to have more examples of the "either/or" questions, for example. I was reading it specifically for help with one c
...more
James
In the Evangelical tribe I grew up in, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman provided the idiom to talk about how each us receive and give love. Because of our unique personalities and family of origin, we each have modes of expressing love which is particularly meaningful to us. For some it words of affirmation. Others feel particularly loved when you spend quality time with them. Giving and receiving gifts is another ‘love language.’ Others feel loved through physical touch or acts of servic ...more
Isabel
Hmm. This was a pretty good book, but it seemed a little phony in parts. The imagined dialogues were absurdly simple. The discussion of single parenting was lacking. In a way, I think the whole book was pretty simplistic, but...

I got something out of it, and that makes it worth reading. Regardless of whether you ascertain anyone's particular "love language," I think the idea of expressing your love for others in more than one way is pretty important. I appreciated the examples because they offer
...more
Jenny
Our children know that we love them, right? We hope so, but not everyone perceives and receives and shows love in the same manner. This book details 5 ways we perceive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, and acts of service. Each of us has a predominant love language by which we most feel loved. Learn how to speak your child's (or spouse's) primary language, and experience a transformation in your relationship with that person. After detailing each love language in r ...more
Alice
Mar 17, 2010 Alice added it
I read this for a homeschool book club. I had heard of the Five Love Languages book and was interested to read this. I really liked the first half of the book which dealt with explaining the love languages, how to interpret them in your children, and how to "fill your children's love tanks." After reading this book, it is very easy to see my children's love language and how I have/have not met their emotional needs through their love language. Also interesting to look back at my life and see how ...more
Rachel
This book argues that all people feel love in five basic ways, but we each have a primary love language. The best way to make your children feel loved, then, is to figure out what their primary love language is, and give them lots of that, plus regular doses of the other kinds. Obviously this applies to spouses, parents, and anyone else you love too, but this book is mainly about the parent/child relationship. I may decide this book deserves 4 stars after I've had some more time to think about i ...more
Ardra
Read most of this a couple years ago and found it very helpful. It was obvious after reading the descriptions what my kids' love languages were. And tailoring the attention in that specific way to them has a big impact.

I listened to the entire book on audiobook today as a reinforcement. Would love to listen again with my husband sometime.
Michelle
OK so Chapman presents the idea that we each "speak" one of five love languages just as we do a verbal language. This language is learned from parents, environment and also borne of ourselves. The idea of there being only 5 love languages is simplistic. However, it was still interesting to figure out which one is most akin to me. The anecdotes are trite, but get the message across: you need to figure out makes your partner tick. The expression of love isn't the same for everyone. One woman might ...more
Lori
I did find this book helpful in some ways, and frustrating in others. While it was beneficial to learn the different ways a child feels loved and the authors did offer some approaches to behavioral issues that have already been beneficial, I just don't think that knowing a child's love language and "filling their love tank" will solve ALL of a child's behavioral problems as the book suggests. I felt the authors put too much responsibility on the parent for a child's behavior. While I definitely ...more
Alisa
I found the five love languages for adults to helpful. This book is very similar, but related to children. The first half of the book is specific to the five languages, the second half (which I enjoyed more) deals with discipline, love, anger, and the love languages for your children. I am excited to try some of the ideas mentioned in the book. The only complaint is that some of the ideas leave me with specific questions for specific circumstances and how you would do that on a daily basis. I al ...more
Anna
This was my introduction to the love languages. I was pleased to learn that all the love languages are essential, but that we all have a primary, preferred love language. I thought at this point I'd be declaring that Ruby's is quality time and Ellie's is physical touch, but, sadly, even after reading and analyzing, I haven't 100% identified my girls' primary love languages yet. There's no question that on any given day each child requires love in all five categories! And my girls are so differen ...more
Angela
What is my husband, my children and my love language? Physical touch, words if affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service. We need all if them but one is most important.
From the book...
A quality time idea...talk about feelings as you read stories....if someone experiences disappointment, talk about feelings of disappointment she's had along with sadness, anger that may have gone along with it.
Many don't know how to handle their feelings. This relaxed ritual at bedtime can help prevent so
...more
Jill
I have read the original 5 love languages and didn't think there would be anything new here for me. I thought I knew all about Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts and Physical Touch. But this book had been recommended several times by parents I admire, so I put the ebook on hold at the digital library and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

When it came I ignored it again thinking I wasn't going to find out much new information. And after a few days I decided to give it a go - s
...more
Cleopatra Boyd
Los 5 lenguages del amor de los niños.
Este libro lo he leído en español, por lo que mi revisión del mismo será usando este idioma.
El arte de amar como de escuchar, es algo que todos creemos tener mucha destreza. Pero la realidad es que son artes que requieren mucha práctica y conocimiento.
Los autores nos dan a conocer 5 lenguajes del amor, los cuales son el siguiente:
El contacto físico.
Las palabras de afirmación.
Tiempo de calidad.
Los regalos.
Prestarles un servicio.
Se tiene que amar nuestros niño
...more
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Christian Mom Reads: * January 2015 Group Read 7 20 Mar 09, 2015 04:00AM  
Good Read Post 2 1 1 Oct 16, 2014 11:27AM  
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Gary Chapman has traveled extensively around the world challenging couples to pursue healthy, growing marriages. His first book, Toward a Growing Marriage (Moody, 1979, 1996), began as an informal resource he gave to couples with whom he was counseling. Once officially published, this book became a blessing to thousands of people and helped launch Gary’s popular “Toward a Growing Marriage” seminar ...more
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“It may surprise you that the primary lifetime threat to your child is his or her own anger.” 3 likes
“The best way to love your children is to love their mother [father].” That’s true. The quality of your marriage greatly affects the way you relate to your children—and the way they receive love. If your marriage is healthy—both partners treating each other with kindness, respect, and integrity—you and your spouse will feel and act as partners in parenting.” 2 likes
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