Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting
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Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting

3.96 of 5 stars 3.96  ·  rating details  ·  141 ratings  ·  48 reviews
Lose the Guilt, Love Your Instincts

If the latest “breakthrough” child-development theory, parenting technique, or child-appropriate diet makes you worry or groan (or just want to lie down for a nap), it’s time to make way for Momfidence! Paula Spencer, parenting expert and mother of four, provides refreshing, down-to-earth proof that most of the business of raising confide...more
ebook, 288 pages
Published August 25th 2010 by Harmony (first published September 5th 2006)
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Dora
I'm torn about this woman's advice! On the one hand, she's funny and care-free about being a mother (of four, no less - if you can laugh then, you're doing all right!) which is something I need to work harder on. On the other hand, although I can see why she does it, some things I am not ready to laugh at. So, if you are a mom who feels like flute practice, no tv and no junk food (for example) are inviolate rules in your life, you won't think this is so funny. However, her basic point is an impo...more
Lonni
This book is certainly not intended for those looking for serious parenting advice. Instead, it's a cute and fun book that introduces us to the more humorous side of parenting, giving us permission to lighten up a bit and stop letting our parental guilt get the better of us. I'd recommend it to any new mom who is fretting over every little thing (or even one who isn't).
Suzanne
As a mother of two, I get that we need to pick our battles, go with our gut, and not stress over the decisions or allowances we or anyone else feel might be parental shortcomings. I completely agree with that whole premise of the book.

HOWEVER...as a nutritionist and children's health advocate, I am shocked by the author's complete lack of knowledge or care toward nutrition and her outright promotion of unhealthy foods. It’s one thing to not stress over the occasional junk snack, but she displays...more
Suzanne
As a mother of two, I get that we need to pick our battles, go with our gut, and not stress over the decisions or allowances we or anyone else feel might be parental shortcomings. I completely agree with that whole premise of the book.

HOWEVER...as a nutritionist and children's health advocate, I am shocked by the author's complete lack of knowledge or care toward nutrition and her outright promotion of unhealthy foods. It’s one thing to not stress over the occasional junk snack, but she displays...more
Raissa
While I do a lot of what the author does, I don't agree with her on some of the topics. Food preparation is high priority for me, unlike her. But then my kids aren't nearly as picky as hers. Reading about her son who won't eat any other meat but chicken nuggets of a particular brand makes me feel better about my daughter's eating quirks like suddenly hating dishes she once loved, wanting to put raisins on all her food, refusing water 99% of the time, and eating two bites then claiming she's full...more
Angie
What a relief to know there is a mom in this world that has the guts to publish real life useful advice. I came across this author while reading in a baby magazine. I enjoyed her honest perspective on mommy hood and saw that she had authored this book.
She has a great attitude on life and how kids will somehow manage to survive childhood, even if we have to feed them the one and only item they will allow in their diet for possibly years.
It made me feel like I’m not doing such a bad job myself a...more
Jodi
Jul 15, 2008 Jodi rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Mom's of More Than ONE
With my first child I engrossed myself in reading all the advice by experts in books, magazines, online, whatever I could get my hands on. I tried all the different techniques for feeding, sleeping, disciplining, potty training, you name it. But when it boiled down to it there really WERE no "correct" answers to my problems. When my second child came around she was so different from my first, and I learned that parenting is about trial and error, and going by your own instincts for your individu...more
Jennifer
Now this is certainly not a cerebral book. However, it has to be one of my top ten of all time. I am surrounded by friends and family who have taken the art of child-rearing and raised it to a level of obsessive psychosis (to put it mildly). I am of the belief that if I give my child love, food, make her feel safe and water her periodically she will become who she is meant to be--in spite of me. This book reinforces my notion that we cannot (should not) hover endlessly and it does it in a damn f...more
Lori
Loved it! I guess it depends on your parenting style, but I found this book to be hilariously accurate most of the time. A thriving child who lives on nothing but chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a year...sounds familiar! Trying to sneak off on an "alone time" walk, only to have your little kiddo's all chime in "please, please can I go", and then giving in and letting them...very familiar! Taking a nice family walk on the beach, only to discover your kids jumping up and down...more
Sonja Isaacson
I just finished reading Paula Spencer's Momfidence! as part of my "researching" parenting literature. I feel that Momfidence! is another excellent book on not stressing out about raising children, however it would better apply to me if Luna was an older toddler/preschooler/young elementary age, or if I had more that one. Paula has 4 kids, each about 2 years apart. Paula is also a writer so she talks about the particular personal problem of having to sort of be in the moment as a mom and also obs...more
Pamela
I absolutely loved this parenting book!! The author has four children and she takes a realistic look at motherhood. Her philosophy is that you can read what experts have to say but in the end you must trust yourself, have confidence in your parenting abilities and don’t take life too seriously. I actually laughed out loud. You should tell every mother you know about this book—especially mothers of young children!! This is a good book to own so you can read a page or two in the moments when you f...more
Melanie
I really liked this book. It´s not often that I find a non-fiction so appealing and a page turner. One thing I really liked was that there were several things and ideas she had that I did not agree with, but that made me think of what my opinion was on that particular issue of rasing children. Then there were some things that made me realize that I take a lot of things too seriously, things that I should just relax about. Well, it has made me feel a little more comfortable of what I´m doing as a...more
Maile
I'm torn on this book. On the one hand, it was laugh-out-loud funny in several parts. I love the authors encouragement for us to let go of guilt we feel as mothers for not meeting up to external standards, etc. However, I also think it's okay to choose not to let our kids eat too much junk food or watch too much TV. In the end, I definitely recommend this book for those who need to lighten up as parents or for those who already feel pretty laidback in a number of ways and just want some good lau...more
Amy Heffernan
Jun 19, 2008 Amy Heffernan rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Amy by: Trish
I think we (including myself) are so caught up in the *right* way to raise our kids. I think we are missing the part where kids just get to be kids and enjoy simple things in life. The problem comes when they are involved in so many classes/activities that they don't know how to be a kid. They don't know how to play. From this book I have a new sense of confidence-momfidence! I'm trusting myself and just winging it-and that's okay! (or it will be....I'm not totally there yet! haha)
Lisa
Ehhh (said with a shoulder shrug), it was okay. Spencer is very funny, but a lot of it was like reading my life expect she has 1 boy and 3 girls and two incomes with a huge house (imagine more than one bathroom). Whimp!
Some of the advice she said was spot on! I loved her discussion and defense of "mom pants." But her confession that she never once helped out in a child's classroom or went on a field trip...Come on!
I hate to admit it, but this is a bathroom read.
Kori
Jan 29, 2008 Kori rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all moms
Shelves: parenting
Beyond great. I love her stories about raising her 4 kids. She writes a parenting column and I love that she is very grounded. She really means it when she says an oreo cookie never killed anybody. She makes you feel less guilty about the choices you make as a parent. You begin to realize that all parents make mistakes and learn from them. I laughed out loud so much when I read this book. Well worth reading for any moms-new or "broken in".
Alison
A fun read that's designed to dispel the "hover mother" syndrome that parenting magazine articles and their "experts" promote. Paula Spencer gives a refreshing dose of common sense--an Oreo never killed anyone, and your kids don't need to be in seven scheduled activities at age 5. She's not quite as funny as two of my favorite mom-writers, Anne Lamott and Amy Krouse Rosenthal, but this was an enjoyable book.
Jennifer
I enjoyed this practical parenting book encouraging moms (and dads) to be real in this current age where super parenting and super kids seems to be taken to the extreme. The author is honest, down to earth and seems to understand that what matters to kids is to have parents who love them and show it by spending time with them. She sounds like the kind of mom I would love to be friends with.
Kristin
As a new mom, I appreciate this book. The stories the author provides are silly and often a little over the top but most of her "Momfidence is..." advice at the end of each chapter is reasonable. I don't agree with everything (but do any 2 parents really ever agree on everything anyway?). For the most part - a good read.
Nellie
Hilarious! I could hardly put it down. She definitely boosted my confidence as a new mom. Suddenly much of what I was crazed over seems silly. Many, many times I've talked myself off the ledge by remembering that an oreo isn't going to kill my kids. ALL moms need this book - especially the ones who worry uncontrollably.
Kate Hastings
Sep 08, 2007 Kate Hastings rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Guilty Slacker Moms
Bathe your child once a week? Forget to send their forms to school? Let them carry playdough around your house? Watch hours of TV? Eat chicken nuggets every night for a year? Foggeddahboutit. They all turn out fine in the end if you love 'em. Or so says the book that validates my parenting sytle.
Camille Davis
Feb 18, 2008 Camille Davis rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: All Mothers
Recommended to Camille by: I found it online
This book is HILARIOUS! It's not a novel, but by a woman who writes articles for Parent's magazines and other publications. She has a very refreshing, non-guilt tripping way of going through the experiences of motherhood. I HIGHLY recommend it to all mothers.
Heidi
I kept waiting for this one to get better. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting, and it just never happened. In my opinion, this is written by a mom who is trying desperately not to feel guilty about being a lazy mom, and I'm not buying what she's selling.
Jessica Conner
It's good to bring you down to Earth & realize we are not perfect. Moms should let things fly sometimes. I tend to be strict but I only have two, third in the way. Sometimes you just got up have fun with it. Help me lighten up a lil & laugh @ mommidom.
Julie
Awesome, sassy, motherhood realism. Paula Spencer writes a column for Woman's Day magazine, which is where I first heard of her. I love her articles, but the book was fantastic, fun, phenomenal. I highly recommend it if you're a mom.
Jen
Like any book offering advice on how to raise children, I was able to take a few things from it. It was a light book and I liked how the author was able to make fun of herself and brought out the ups and downs of being a wife and parent.
Denise
Sep 22, 2008 Denise rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all Moms
Recommended to Denise by: Melissa Blum
I really enjoyed this book. Not only did she make me feel more confident in parenting, but she also had me laughing throughout. This is a great read for anybody that doubts their parenting skills or just needs a confidence builder.
Lesli
This is a good book, if you are look for a friend to fight off the pressure of over parenting of all those uber mommies. Yes, its nice to know someone else lets their kids watch hours of TV, and eat junk food on a occasion.
Lisa Springle
Helped me realize it's okay to be laid back as a mom. I was thrilled to discover that I have more momfidence than I would have guessed. One of the best books about being a mom, especially if you have more than one kid.
Brittany Alonso
Wow! Did this book ever relate to me and the way I parent my children. It made feel a lot better, that's for sure! The author knows how to be truly honest with herself and it comes across in her writing.
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Paula Spencer is the author or coauthor of 12 parenting and health books; a longtime Woman's Day columnist; a founding editor of Caring.com; a contributing editor to Parenting and Babytalk; and a public speaker and consultant on family matters.

"I specialize in providing candid, commonsense perspectives on family life — from baby care to senior care to self care."
More about Paula Spencer...
Consciously Female: How to Listen to Your Body and Your Soul for a Lifetime of Healthier Living Parenting Guide to Your Toddler Start a Cupcake Business Today Parenting Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth Everything Else You Need to Know When You're Expecting: The New Etiquette for the New Mom

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