Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Matthew Logelin

Aug 27, 2011 Doreen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: elle

A terrible thing happened to Matt Logelin: his beloved wife died the day after their only child was born, 7 weeks prematurely. As he struggled to put his life back together and raise a baby on his own, he set up a non-profit foundation to help other men and women who found themselves in a similar situation. In the process, he grew somewhat as a person.

Hopefully, that precis will save you from having to read the actual book. Proceeds from its sale go to the non-profit mentioned above, but serious...more A terrible thing happened to Matt Logelin: his beloved wife died the day after their only child was born, 7 weeks prematurely. As he struggled to put his life back together and raise a baby on his own, he set up a non-profit foundation to help other men and women who found themselves in a similar situation. In the process, he grew somewhat as a person.

Hopefully, that precis will save you from having to read the actual book. Proceeds from its sale go to the non-profit mentioned above, but seriously, just look up the Liz Logelin Foundation and write them a check instead (it's a worthy cause.) He also has a blog with a devoted following, so that might be worth perusing, as well. But please don't bother reading this book otherwise, because it is terrible and made me never want to visit his blog or, to be honest, have anything to do with him ever.

The main complaint from other reviewers who've given this book low ratings is that he swears too much. I, too, have a potty mouth, so mere swearing doesn't bother me, but he uses the same words all the time and unimaginatively. Constantly using "fucking" as an adjective just grates, and loses any power of emphasis when he uses it to describe how much his wife's death sucks shortly after also using it to describe how awful the generic music played at the funeral parlor is (pro tip for those at home: doing this yourself makes it sound like you think they suck equally, which makes you a douchebag.) Granted, this is probably where a good editor would have stepped in, but after the slew of books I've read lately, I'm sincerely starting to believe that those are few and far between these days.

But that wasn't why I think this book is terrible, even if the writing is uniformly disjointed and subpar. My main problem with this book is that the author is a pretentious hipster snot. After his wife's death, he grieved, and I felt sincerely bad for him, but his insistence on "not being lame" when out and about with his kid made me want to shake him. Being a parent isn't about being cool, asshole. I respected a lot of what he had to say about the different processes of grieving: unfortunately, this book dwells too much on how badly he perceived some people to be behaving towards him and made me want to tell him to get over himself. He's got a good heart, as evidenced by the way he treated the hospital staff, but he's also unnecessarily spiteful and judgmental, as clearly shown by his visit to the Social Security office.

I was also appalled that he habitually interspersed the text with "meaningful" song lyrics: emotionally and intellectually, he would have been better off copying out greeting card verses. What bothered me the most, though, was how woefully immature he was at the age of 30, until adulthood was thrust upon him with the sudden status of parent and widower. Before then, he'd been happy to coast on the luck of having an amazing wife who put up with his shit. Seriously, she let him get away with not reading any parenting books or planning to take on any child-rearing responsibilities, not even researching what she and the baby would need post-birthing. And it was pretty clear that not only was she the main breadwinner, but also the one responsible for cleaning the house and doing chores while he mooned over records. As a new mom myself, it made me want to punch him in the face.

So the book gets two stars because he is a terrible writer and even worse poet, and the way he presents himself makes me believe that he's of both stunted intellect and maturity, which do nothing to make reading his book enjoyable. I'm sure he's doing great work with his blog and foundation, which is why the book gets a rating as high as it does, but I would never recommend this book to anyone, because I think the way it's written detracts very much from the legacy of Liz's life otherwise.

ETA: My best friend and I were discussing the book and he succinctly summed it up thusly, "My wife died, and my taste in music is still better than yours." Sad but true.

I received this book gratis as part of ELLE Magazine's ELLEs Lettres Jurors' Prize program.(less)

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Nov 29, 2011 Lisa Factora-borchers rated it 3 of 5 stars

There are so many things one could say about this book. As a 32 year old married mother of a precious toddler, of course this book rang many bells in my head and of course it broke nearly every time Matt wrote about his lost wife. As a human, as a person who loves to feel and wants to be reminded how awesome it is to be in love with the Love of your life, this book spoke to me on different levels. I don't know how it could not.

Matt Logelin openly writes from a place of suffering and as a person...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Selby rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

This was an emotional roller coaster for me. I really struggled to give this little memoir a star rating. So, everyone knows the premise: A 30 year old man is delighted by the birth of his daughter one day and loses the love of his life the next, what now?

A lot of the criticisms I've read here on GR are quasi-valid: The writing is so-so. He does come off like a music snob at times. His profanities are redundant; some argued crass. In response to this I would say: He never claims to be a writer....more

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Sep 25, 2010 Jim rated it 3 of 5 stars

In a remarkable coincidence, Matthew Logelin and I each lost a young wife, were left with a daughter named Madeline, and wrote a book about the experience. He and I are very different people but we both came to some very similar conclusions.

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Apr 25, 2011 Laurie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting-pregnancy, non-fiction

I have been following Matt Logelin for over two years, and I was thrilled when I was hooked up with a copy of Two Kisses for Maddy to read before it was released last week. From a literary standpoint, I found the story moving and easy to read if not heart-wrenchingly sad and difficult at times. While I love Matt's blog that is written in mostly in verse, the prose in this book filled in some gaps on a story that I already felt I knew quite well.

From a social, human standpoint, Matt, Liz, and Ma...more

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Feb 11, 2012 Sasha rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: not-going-to-finish-now

I did not read the entire book. Although I can sympathize with the situation, I don't think this should be a book. I could not force myself to read the rest of it. That is all I will say because I feel the situation itself makes it hard to say anything that could be perceived as negative after the suffering this family has endured. Although, maybe that's exactly how this book ended up published...nobody wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

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Mar 23, 2013 Sutar Djohar rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

*Kehidupan dan kematian . Dari momen terbahagia dalam hidup kami sampai yang tersedih.

Semuanya.

Hanya dalam waktu 27 jam. Rasa sakitnya tak tertahankan*
=sepenggal bait sebagai pembuka=

Perjalanan hidup seseorang dalam menempuh cita-cita dan cinta, selalu dibarengi oleh tanggung jawab dan komitmen, serta amal nyata, dengan tambahan sebuah pengorbanan. Kisah nyata ini merupakan ungkapan kisah kehidupan seorang Ayah, suami dan kepala keluarga,

Matt dan Liz Logellin adalah sejoli kasih, dari masa SMA....more

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Jan 06, 2013 Bethany rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm not sure what to write about this book or really what to rate it. I don't usually read memoirs, I am more of a fiction kind of girl or a funny memoir from a comedienne. So what was I doing reading a memoir about a man who lost his wife and was forced with raising his one day old daughter on his own?! I have no idea. The cover of the book struck me (not the cover shown) and so I picked it up and started reading the first couple pages...and I was sucked into how the author, Matthew Logelin fel...more

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Dec 03, 2012 Holly rated it 3 of 5 stars

Yesterday afternoon I took a quick peek in the book section of Tar-jay (that’s fancy French for Target) and found a book I had to take home. Two Kisses for Maddy…a memoir of love and loss, looked too good to pass up.

It’s the story of a man who loses the love of his life, his beautiful wife Elizabeth, just 27 hours after she gave birth to their only child.

The author, Matthew Logelin, tells us that before his wife died of a blood clot, he had dreamed of writing a meaningful love song, but he could...more Yesterday afternoon I took a quick peek in the book section of Tar-jay (that’s fancy French for Target) and found a book I had to take home. Two Kisses for Maddy…a memoir of love and loss, looked too good to pass up.

It’s the story of a man who loses the love of his life, his beautiful wife Elizabeth, just 27 hours after she gave birth to their only child.

The author, Matthew Logelin, tells us that before his wife died of a blood clot, he had dreamed of writing a meaningful love song, but he couldn’t because in his opinion, “…great art can only come from a place of immense pain, and that the resulting work is beautiful because it is motivated by the purest and most authentic of emotions: sadness.” He goes on to say that the loss of his beloved wife gave him the ability to come a writer, but he really wishes he wasn’t.

I am one hundred pages deep into his story and it is as beautifully sad and heart wrenching as I expected. Matthew’s love for his wife and daughter make me cry. The pictures he includes at the back of the book, ones with him and his wife in India and then pictures taken a few years later of him with his daughter in those same places in India, including the spot where got engaged, seal the deal on this love story. I can’t put it down.

Mathew Logelin’s book also got me thinking. After a certain age, almost all of us have experienced heartbreak or deep emotional upheaval in one way or another. Does that mean we all have the capacity to write? Do we all have a story to tell?

From the beginning of time, mankind has shared stories to teach and connect with one another. Prehistoric humans used pigment made from dirt to draw pictures in caves. Over time, different techniques for telling similar stories led to distinct cultures, from the ancient Greeks to the Native Americans. Stories allow us to interpret the past and influence the future.

I wrote my own memoir, Could Have Been Holly Wood, to understand how I could have lived for twenty years without realizing so much of the craziness in my life was due to an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. How could I have missed that? As I wrote, I found my answers. I also realized I had some really interesting stories to share, and some lessons to pass along.

I strongly suspect we all have a memoir inside of us.

Two Kisses for Maddy may not be my favorite memoir, but it is certainly one worth reading. I'm so glad Matthew Logelin shared his story with us all.

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Nov 30, 2012 Karen Hansen rated it 5 of 5 stars

In March of 2008, Matthew Logelin suddenly lost his high school sweetheart and wife, Liz, to a pulmonary embolism just twenty-seven hours after she had given birth to their first child, Maddy. In his grief, Logelin took to candidly blogging about his emotions and fears. Logelin's blog ended up becoming a sensation, as readers from all around the world connected with struggles.

Logelin's memoir Two Kisses for Maddy was made possible through the unwitting success of his blog. The book is dedicated...more In March of 2008, Matthew Logelin suddenly lost his high school sweetheart and wife, Liz, to a pulmonary embolism just twenty-seven hours after she had given birth to their first child, Maddy. In his grief, Logelin took to candidly blogging about his emotions and fears. Logelin's blog ended up becoming a sensation, as readers from all around the world connected with struggles.

Logelin's memoir Two Kisses for Maddy was made possible through the unwitting success of his blog. The book is dedicated to Maddy and serves as a more formal approach to documenting his relationship with Liz, her death and his first years as a single parent. Although more structured than a blog, it is not writing without raw emotion. Logelin is not a writer by trade, he fell into this new career through tragedy. He has tons of talent, but it's raw and i feel as a reader, this is what I responded to so strongly. He's not polished, swears often and doesn't sugarcoat or sentimentalize memories. Logelin has a knack for writing in a genuine voice.

I seem to pick a lot of books having to do with loss and grieving. It's therapeutic. Logelin's story had some odd parallel time from to grief that i experienced in my own life. Liz and Matt are my age. Liz died in Pasadena, just a six weeks after my mom died just miles away in a Glendale Hospital. Just by the descriptions of places, I am fairly certain that they lived in a nearby neighborhood. My heart skipped a beat when Logelin mentioned a doctor Wada on Liz's death certificate. My mom has the same name on hers. Even though the circumstances are very different, there are a lot of commonalities with grief and processes that you need to attend to when a loved one dies. I think knowing that their family was experiencing grief at the same time as mine and in a local community, gave me pause.

i connected a lot on a different level. My father died when i was four and I really don't remember him. There are so many ways to handle the issue, but i loved and respected how Logelin used his memoir as a legacy for Maddy. He did Liz and Maddy justice, by writing Liz as a real person, not just letting her death elevate her into a saintly figure. One day, when Maddy is old enough, she will read this and know that she had amazing parents who loved her and each other so much. The stories of her parents courtship will not be distorted through time. i wish that i had more information on my parents and who they were before i came along. I feel like this book is such an amazing gift. it gave me perspective into fears that my mom must have experienced as a single parent, but that i was never privy to.

Parts of this book were sad and difficult to read, but I ultimately walked away thinking that this was such a positive, uplifting story. Maddy is so lucky to have an amazing father and Matt is so lucky to be blessed with a great kid. I loved the pictures of two of them globe trotting and visiting places that were special to Liz.

I tend to write a lot about grieving (along with fun stuff like reviews and travel) in my blog http;//www.alwayspackedforadventure.com (less)

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Nov 12, 2012 Alyce (At Home With Books) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Two Kisses for Maddy is the story of Matthew’s life with and without his wife Liz: how they met, fell in love and got married, had a baby, and then how he became a single parent to a premature baby girl twenty-seven hours after her birth when Liz died. To say that her death was tragic seems unnecessary, but the juxtaposition of new the baby’s life and the new mother’s death are enough to make anyone cry.

Matthew Logelin puts his experiences down into writing with a raw and blunt emotion; cursing...more

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Nov 03, 2012 Caroline rated it 5 of 5 stars

After reading Matt's blog for a number of years, it was really exciting to see his book be published with such a great reception. His book is, well, him. If you are looking for an over-edited, adulterated version of loss and parenting, then you've come to the wrong place.

He will cuss. He will talk to you as if you are his friend. He will write as a person telling a story, not an author conjuring a tale. Feeling his loss with him will be the moments that make a reader feel the connection and huma...more

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Sep 20, 2012 Abbe added it

Shelves: in-library

Review

"Heartbreaking, raw, moving and uplifting at the same time." -_The Hollywood Reporter_

"A tender memoir that combines the deep sadness of loss with the joys of parenthood even under incredibly trying circumstances." -_Kirkus Reviews_

"In Matthew Logelin's honest and poignant story, we learn a great many lessons about the fragility of life, and about the strength we all can summon to move forward. With two kisses and an open heart, he shows how love can sustain us." -Jeffrey Zaslow, New Y

...more Review

"Heartbreaking, raw, moving and uplifting at the same time." -_The Hollywood Reporter_

"A tender memoir that combines the deep sadness of loss with the joys of parenthood even under incredibly trying circumstances." -_Kirkus Reviews_

"In Matthew Logelin's honest and poignant story, we learn a great many lessons about the fragility of life, and about the strength we all can summon to move forward. With two kisses and an open heart, he shows how love can sustain us." -Jeffrey Zaslow, New York Times bestselling coauthor of THE LAST LECTURE__

"TWO KISSES FOR MADDY is less a conscious piece of writing than a spontaneous eruption from the heart. It will make you cry but not only out of sadness. Some of your tears will be for the beauty of love and its miraculous power to heal even the deepest wounds." -John Grogan, New York Times bestselling author of MARLEY & ME

"No one wants to read a depressing book. But how can you possibly call depressing what is so filled with love and life and the unstoppable message of how lucky we are to have what we have. Read this book and put your life back in perspective." -Brad Meltzer, New York Times bestselling author of HEROES FOR MY SON

"Almost unparalleled as a raw and unapologetic portrait of grief, TWO KISSES FOR MADDY is a stunning testimony of the kind of love-- fated, magnificent-- that inspires novels. So vivid, so powerful and pitch-perfect, is his evocation of his beloved Liz that I could hear her laughter and see her face for days after putting the book down." -Claire Fontaine, national bestselling author of COME BACK

"A touching, heartbreaking, and ultimately triumphant story. It offers hope, humor, and a path toward new life, and a priceless lesson about the value of communication in times of trouble." -Jim Beaver, author of LIFE'S THAT WAY and SAG award nominee for Deadwood

"You won't feel the slightest bit of pity for this unintended single father. You'll be cheering Matt Logelin on page after page, laughing and crying with him-- and falling in love with Madeline." -Christine Coppa, author of RATTLED!

Product Description

Matt and Liz Logelin were high school sweethearts. After years of long-distance dating, the pair finally settled together in Los Angeles, and they had it all: a perfect marriage, a gorgeous new home, and a baby girl on the way. Liz's pregnancy was rocky, but they welcomed Madeline, beautiful and healthy, into the world on March 24, 2008.

Just twenty-seven hours later, Liz suffered a pulmonary embolism and died instantly, without ever holding the daughter whose arrival she had so eagerly awaited. Though confronted with devastating grief and the responsibilities of a new and single father, Matt did not surrender to devastation; he chose to keep moving forward-- to make a life for Maddy.

In this memoir, Matt shares bittersweet and often humorous anecdotes of his courtship and marriage to Liz; of relying on his newborn daughter for the support that she unknowingly provided; and of the extraordinary online community of strangers who have become his friends. In honoring Liz's legacy, heartache has become solace.

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Aug 09, 2012 Miriam rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I had come across Matt's blog after a People magazine article was written about his story and was instantly moved. I loved his blog, other than his format which required a lot of scrolling. I was often moved to tears as he would recount bittersweet moments raising his daughter without his wife. If someone hasn't optioned this story for a movie, they are missing out.

I finally picked up the book last week and I have to say it wasn't exactly what I expected, but it was wonderful. It was raw and rea...more

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Jul 15, 2012 Margaret rated it 3 of 5 stars

Oh so sad. I picked this up at the library as its not the sort of book I would buy, but enjoyed it in a "thank god that didn't happen to me" sort of way.
Matt and Liz are an ordinary young American couple expecting their first baby. Madeline is born 7 weeks early after a complicated pregnancy and her mom dies just over a day later - suddenly, unexpectedly and obviously tragically. The book tells of Matt's struggle with the happiness of birth connected to the sheer horror of this death, what he ha...more

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Apr 09, 2012 Samantha Smith rated it 3 of 5 stars

I have conflicting thoughts about this book. On many levels I found this book to be extremely captivating and interesting. It is a story that automatically draws in any reader or compassionate person. I'm a newlywed so I can only imaging losing my spouse suddenly and unexpectedly. I totally get how this would be a life changing and horrific experience.

I applaud the author for being willing to share his experiences and intimate details of his life with readers. I respect that he doesn't shy away...more I have conflicting thoughts about this book. On many levels I found this book to be extremely captivating and interesting. It is a story that automatically draws in any reader or compassionate person. I'm a newlywed so I can only imaging losing my spouse suddenly and unexpectedly. I totally get how this would be a life changing and horrific experience.

I applaud the author for being willing to share his experiences and intimate details of his life with readers. I respect that he doesn't shy away from writing details that cast him in a negative light. For example, he openly discusses how his wife was the primary bread winner while he was happy to sit at home and pretend to look for jobs. I think these details added to the story and gave us a picture of his life and how important and special his wife was. She sounded like a very patient and forgiving woman.

However, this book is so poorly written that it distracts from the story. Some other reviews critique the book for having so much profanity. I myself am not at all offended by profanity I use it all the time and think there is a definite place for it in books. However the profanity in this book seems so forced and awkward that it also takes away from the story. I think maybe someone read a rough draft of his book and applauded the author for his use of anger and profanity and so the author then scattered it in everywhere possible. In places the book felt raw and real but then in others it felt forced. I also do have to comment about the definite hipster vibe. Yuck. Another problem I have is the woes the author has about his financial situation but then flies all over the world and vacations non stop. I can't sympathize for his financial problems when he is flying to exotic destinations.

In general, I would recommend this book and I am excited to meet the author and hear more about his story and hear more about how he is doing parenting his daughter. Do I think he should strive to become a writer. No way! I would tell him don't quit your day job, but when I read the author's bio it looked like he already had. Ooops. (less)

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Apr 05, 2012 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

I will make this a short one.
I know some of the reviews that came and will come will say that this is not a book worth your time. I go against it. Yeah, I just gave it 3 stars but just because I can't deny the lack of true literature. I give it to Mr. Logelin that he admitted not being a writer and believe him I do. But for those reviews that completely miss the bigger picture, I just feel sorry for them.
Maybe I just let myself guide for the tears I shed while reading but I'll admit it, I am a...more

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Sep 03, 2011 Christine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, non-fiction

I've read Matt's blog so I knew how his story unfolds before I read the book. And that meant I was crying from basically the first page as he described how he and Liz met and fell in love. I don't think Matt's the best writer ever. (His blog drives me a bit crazy because he writes in blocky short sentences a la Rosie O'Donnell). But Matt doesn't claim to a be a writer. This was never his goal. He was thrust in to the literary world after suffering a horrible tragedy...the death of his wife the d...more

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Jul 22, 2011 Leighanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-books

First off, I don't recommend the book to my friends. The foul language is unnecessary most of the time and even seems forced. In fact, in order to finish the book, I had to tell myself to just look beyond it and read the story. I really wanted to finish his story.
That being said, I give it four stars because it was engaging and truthful and kept my heart tied right in to his emotions. It could be just because I am overly emotional right now at my own loss, but I basically cried through the enti...more

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Jun 11, 2011 Andrea Moran Brown rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm glad I've completed this book, though I think I would've enjoyed it a whole lot more had I read it verses listening to the author reading it. A friend lent the audio book to me, and I was really grateful.

I went to school with Matt from 9th grade on, and I'd heard about his tragic loss. I clearly remember seeing his wife's obituary in the Star Tribune and thinking that this must have happened to some other Matt Logelin. That's super odd now that I reflect on that. It's not like his last name...more

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Jun 07, 2011 Maija rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, memoir

This book revolves around a tragic story of Matt's wife passing away only a day after giving birth to their first child. This is one of those stories you hope (and assume) will never happen to anyone you know, but it does happen.

I had seen Matt's blog a few times, and then found this book on the library's hot new releases shelf so thought I'd give it a spin(Multnomah County is doing this cool "Lucky Day" thing that is a shelf of new releases you can check out rather than wait for 5,000 holds)....more

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Jun 03, 2011 Christina Yamat rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 30-in-2011

I came across Matt's blog shortly after Maddy was born. I have a son who was born about a year earlier and so I truly could relate to the blog posts about newborn Maddy. But of course newborn trials and tribulations were not all the blog was about. The blog was super sad and I was feeling empathy exhaustion or something because I couldn't stop tearing up all the time. I had to put an end to following the blog.

So I came across this book 3 years later absolutely wanting to read it to find out wha...more

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Jun 02, 2011 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, 2011

This is such a great memoir, covering a very sad situation but managing to be inspiring and uplifting instead of completely and utterly depressing. The author's wife died the day after their daughter was born, and this book chronicles his relationship with his wife and then his struggle to get through the first year of their daughter's life as a single parent.

The author has a very relatable writing style that drew me in almost immediately. I was unsure about this book before starting it, not wa...more

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May 31, 2011 Patricia rated it 2 of 5 stars

**Warning: This author, even though he wrote a book in an "attempt to turn [his] sadness into something beautiful," uses a lot of coarse, vulgar language, and is quite offensive. I do not recommend it for this reason.**

This is the sad, true story of a young man who becomes a widower at the age of 30, the day after his daughter is born seven weeks early. He loved his young, beautiful wife deeply, and he writes about their love story, the birth, her death, and the year of grief and beauty that fol...more **Warning: This author, even though he wrote a book in an "attempt to turn [his] sadness into something beautiful," uses a lot of coarse, vulgar language, and is quite offensive. I do not recommend it for this reason.**

This is the sad, true story of a young man who becomes a widower at the age of 30, the day after his daughter is born seven weeks early. He loved his young, beautiful wife deeply, and he writes about their love story, the birth, her death, and the year of grief and beauty that followed his wife's death from a pulmonary embolism (from more than five weeks of bedrest). The only two things about this guy that are likeable are that he's quite a genuinely loving, social guy; and he loves his daughter and learns to take good care of her. I loved how he pointed out, time after time, that our society finds it very peculiar to see a man taking care of a young baby and a young child. Over and over he was asked, "Where is her (the baby's) mother?" When mother's are out with their babies, people don't really ask "Where is her father?" Because of this terrible event that turned his world upside down, the author is forced to grow up and become an adult, responsible for taking care of the well-being of another. I suppose that is admirable that he recognizes how little he contributed before his wife's death, but dependent men are so unattractive that I never could understand why his wife was with him in the first place. Add his drinking and swearing and it's a complete mystery to me. It is a bittersweet story, but could have been written in a much less offensive way. Perhaps, though, it would not have had his authentic voice then. I don't know...

The best paragraph from this book is found at the bottom of page 143: "Just like people wanted to help me and Maddy, I wanted to help the people around us, and so I passed on what I received to those who needed it more. It became a really important part of what the blog brought to my life, and an important part of my beginning to heal after Liz's death. Concentrating my attention on others allowed me to remove some of the focus from my own situation, and finally I felt less like a victim of my horrible circumstances."(less)

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May 15, 2011 Ruth rated it 3 of 5 stars

When I selected this book I figured it would either be a tear-jerker focusing on the emotional cost of losing a long-term lover or a comedy of errors in which this guy has to figure out what to do with the business end of a baby, since he has no wife to teach him. It was neither. It was much more about Matthew than about Maddy, despite the title, and the writing style did not emotionally engage me. When I picked up the book, I knew his wife would die, and fully expected to shed a tear or two whe...more

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Mar 06, 2012 Shauna rated it 4 of 5 stars

I saw this book recommended on this website, so I thought I'd try it. I ordered it online, and read it pretty quickly. It was a great read. The story is so sad, but it really makes you appreciate what you have in life. I felt very sad for the things that this father had to go through, and would never wish that upon anyone. However, he rose to the challenge, and he did a better job in his first year than probably many families with two parents. I think that this little girl probably has a better...more

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Dec 16, 2011 Erin rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011, listened-to, memoir-bio

Five stars for Matthew's resiliency, and the awareness it brought to me, but three stars for the book. I had the feeling that if I had followed his blog, I would already have known the whole story. Also, the swearing was unnecessary. (I feel like a broken record in saying that, because I say it often). Perhaps listening to this book made the cursing seem worse. It seemed forced, as if he was trying to push his "tough" personality into the book. Also, normally during a book like this, I would hav...more

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Oct 19, 2011 Molly rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenthood, grief

First, I should say: the dismal rating I've given this book is not because of its content (and certainly not reflective of other Good Readers' repulsion of the language--at least not of the foul sort--my husband's been known to call me a pirate) and the story itself--it makes my heart go out to Logelin and his family.

But.

The writing is terrible. Terrible.

There was so much cliche and so much that made me wonder: well yes, that is sad, but why did this become a book? (It should have just stayed a...more First, I should say: the dismal rating I've given this book is not because of its content (and certainly not reflective of other Good Readers' repulsion of the language--at least not of the foul sort--my husband's been known to call me a pirate) and the story itself--it makes my heart go out to Logelin and his family.

But.

The writing is terrible. Terrible.

There was so much cliche and so much that made me wonder: well yes, that is sad, but why did this become a book? (It should have just stayed a blog. The snippets at each chapter's beginnings, line broken phrases culled from blog entries, were actually nice, perhaps because the rhythm was good and the editing kept it small, precise, and not so tiresome.)

So then one must consider the intentions of the book--he admits in the opening that he never meant to be a writer (and if publishing a book makes you a writer, OK, but if writing well makes you a writer, then a writer he is not), and I imagine it may have come about after his 'Creeps' (or was it 'Creepers'? I can't remember already)--the people, mostly women, who fell in with his story after his blog blew up in popularity--suggested he write the story for his daughter and if this is the case, nicely done, but did the rest of the world have to get subjected to it too?

It's a rubber-necking sort of thing. I found his blog from another winter-mama (we gave birth within a week of one another and since my current manuscript is working on poems from that experience, I have been reading narratives of varying sorts on the topic to see what else is out there, what I have to offer, how my own voice might shift as a result) and I read his "about" type page and I fell in too--at least as far as clicking around for an evening can get you. I think, beyond the shocking tragedy of the situation, (and YES, I say, "Thank goodness that isn't us," though at the time, I was thinking, "Oh God, I hope that doesn't become us" because at the time, I was still incubating) was the sheer grace Logelin had in immediately chalking the situation up to "bad luck." There was no anger or blame emanating at the medical establishment and I deeply respected that.

But, after reading this book, I can say this was the one glimmer of grace he allowed himself. After all, he clearly steered the narrative in this book--it wasn't ghost written, and perhaps, if it was told from another writer's pen, it could have been a five-star book--but he never let the reader fall in love with Liz and certainly we had to be patient as we paged through two hundred pages of what a friend from high school aptly labeled "a pity party."

Oh, it's true, he has the right to grieve, and writing about grief is not an easy thing to do.

Somehow, the grace and charm of the blog was entirely absent from the pages of this book. Did he freeze up? Did I need the line breaks, the photos of him interacting with his child?

I think a good book of this ilk has some kind of backbone, some kind of trajectory, and we feel as if the author has some kind of purpose moving from the opening to the closing. But we got fifty pages of what felt like a pen pal letter describing the relationship before, we get a swath of the actual pivotal hospital stay, and then several hundred pages of him. Him crying and snotting around with a lot of selfishness in between. We never get to know any of the surrounding figures--Liz or Maddy or parents or friends--beyond name and hair color and music preference and then just how hard or easy those figures make his life.

The narrator was painfully immature. An example, after his daughter is born, seven weeks early: "[The doctor] then explained that she had a feeding tube in her mouth, running directly into her stomach because at her gestational age, she had yet to develop the ability to suck and swallow. I was so concerned about my baby's health that I couldn't even laugh at the double entendre." pg 42 (I thought: how is his mind even there? It's his daughter! And his wife just went through an harrowing c-section! And his daughter is premature! And this is what he chooses to include? What character development.)

Of course, this book has some merit--I am not someone who has had to go through this kind of loss, so I don't know what would be helpful--if reading something like this would bring comfort in having company. I know reading the infertility narratives were good to me too, though reading poorly written ones still set my teeth on edge. I think reading this book for me was a lot like how the author might feel listening to hours of pop music. (less)

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May 27, 2011 Janene rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have been a follower of Matt's blog for a few years now. I found his blog through someone else's blog and was immediately drawn to his parenting style and his story.

I bought this book because I felt like I needed it but never really had any intention of actually reading it. I already knew Maddy and Liz's story and it really is heartbreaking. I didn't think (because I'm insanely sensitive) that I would be able to read it without crying the whole way through.

When I got the book home, I opened...more

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May 07, 2011 Marianne Stehr rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is one of those stories that is hard to review. of course the story of life and death is heatwrenching and the story itself, unfortunately true, will certainly make for a great book. However this story did not sound like just another "regular" person having significant crisis. This is a very lucky, well connected and highly supported father who has lost his wife unexpectedly and as written in the book, he is far from the only person the experience this. so to me the book takes on a connotat...more

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title link	preview: Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love
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