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Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart
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Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart

4.03 of 5 stars 4.03  ·  rating details  ·  429 ratings  ·  43 reviews
Emotional purity involves protecting your heart from becoming too intimate with someone of the opposite sex so you don't have to suffer through emotional damage over and over again.
Paperback, 158 pages
Published April 1st 2007 by Crossway Books (first published May 1st 2001)
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First of all, I do think the concept and basic idea of this book is good. I believe in purity, and think that you should strive to keep pure not only physically but emotionally as well. Many people tend to overlook the emotional aspect.


There are some dangerous ideas in this book that could be harmful if taken too seriously. I for one would not let my daughter read it without us discussing it heavily together. The author goes *way* overboard on guarding your heart. Yes we need to guard our hea
If there's a poem I've learned back in high school that I'll never forget, I think it's the poem entitled When I Was One and Twenty by A.E. Houseman. It goes like this:
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
“Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.” But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me. When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
“The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
’Tis paid with sigh
Most Christians think about purity being physical, but that isn't always the case. The author, Heather, talks about how women need to guard their heart so they don't unconsciously give it away. I thought this was a very good book as it is also a wonderful reminder for me to check my emotions. As the author talks about (and I've realized), daydreaming is a very unhealthy and counter-productive activity that can make one become self-centered and at a loss of mental energy. It just isn't worth it. ...more
Alexandra Leonardo
Most people think that purity is just physical. As long as you keep yourself physically pure until your wedding day, then you're good to go. But this book changed my perspective even more. Purity also goes deeper - to our emotions. I know that this book can really blow your heads off because it expressed high standards on purity. But we have an excellent God and no mediocre standard would do. I know that because I’ve been lead by my emotions for far too long. It’s time to end it. So yeah, to all ...more
Usually books on relationships fascinate me, and I finish them in a few days. Not this one. The writing isn't concise. The fiction illustrations seem quite far-fetched. Some of the conclusions are simply not logical. I agree that the mind is a battlefield, and that thought control is necessary for a person whether single or married, but there's not much practical help here for that. The author seems to equate mental fantasy and emotional attachment. By all means, try to keep a check on your imag ...more
It is an amazing Book actually, makes you think over some things.. I would recommend this book to single/married. It does have some good advice. People who do try to live by the Bible, should try to also stay pure with thoughts, and we can avoid certain temptations if we watch our daily walk everyday. Remember in Proverbs 3:6 in all your ways acknowledge him [Lord], and he will make your paths straight.

If your spending time with a person or things, that might lead you to certain areas of temptat
Becky Hintz
A reviewer named "Arielle" already said much of what I'd want to say about the overstatements in this book... The only thing I'd add is that the hermeneutics the author employs are absolutely terrible. "Twisting Scripture" doesn't begin to cover it. (Note: From what I understand, the reprint by Crossway corrects some of the grosser errors and overstatements.)

I DO think we need to encourage young people to keep themselves free from a string of emotional entanglements, and this author DOES make s
It was interesting. I am not sure I agree with everything she wrote, but it definitely led to some interesting things to think about, especially waiting on the lord and embracing your single years.
Excellent book and all of my children will read this in their late teen years.
I wanted to like this book going in. I really did. I knew there was more to romantic-like interactions than most books on dating and relationships cover and I wanted to read a solid analysis of that.

This book was a complete strikeout though. Terrible. The worst part was she used Scripture out of context left and right and twisted it to support her arguments. That is the fastest way to get on my bad book list. I'm sure there was no malicious intent but that doesn't make it good hermeneutics.

The o
I really enjoyed this book, it has given me hope that the normal round of what happens between men and women isn't what we are destined for. I loved the philosophy that not only do you have to protect your physical purity, but also your emotional purity. The Theory is that you guard your heart from casual relationships so that when you are married you can give your mate your ENTIRE being, your heart, mind, soul, and body. It sounds to me that it will make marriage a more beautiful experience tha ...more
Crystal Lawrence
Incredible book for single women. Some of her personal standards were a little over the top, but I am a firm believer in this concept of emotional purity and not just physical purity.
Paulsen writes this book from her own experience and gears the book towards women. A few chapters have a section at the end "FOR GUYS ONLY" which helped add to my own reading experience. Paulsen thoroughly examines the topic of emotional purity in relationships and takes a look at how many young adults in todays culture are being defrauded of their emotions without commitment. She does a decent job of pulling scripture but lists them in bunches rather than sprinkling the verses throughout the bo ...more
The general concept is good, I think, but I didn't agree with everything.
Alisha Bonnell
this book is great!!!! i recommend it to all young people ages 12+
Ruth Ann
Feb 05, 2014 Ruth Ann is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
will read. looks good.
I started reading this book with a pretty skeptical and negative attitude, but I was pleasantly surprised. I've never really thought of the idea of "emotional purity," but it is a good idea. I do think she takes it a bit too far at times, but it is a good basis for opposite sex relationships. I also liked that her focus was on dependence on God, not on getting married. So other than being in badly need of an editor (the mistakes were rather distracting), it was a very interesting and thought-pro ...more
Heather Arnel Paulsen is unafraid to discuss the importance of emotional purity, which makes this book well worth reading.
We pride ourselves in our firmness in the black-and-white issues and overlook the impurity of our hearts. The thing we don't realize is that an impure heart will soon carry over to the rest of our lives. The circumcised, consecrated, holy heart is what God desires in us and it is then that we will draw closer to Him and find more fulfillment than we ever imagined.
wellll, I think everyone should read this book. There are 'for guys only' sections so it is friendly to guys and girls. I think for the most part everyone struggles with emotional purity (just being blunt, lol), and this book will at least enlighten you on emotional purity because there are not that many books (or anything - except the Bible, of course) that teaches on this subject. and I gave it 4 starts because she in a okay writer, not bad, but okay.
This book is amazing. It really gets to the heart of the matter concerning purity. The author gets straight to the point and doesn't beat around the bush. I really appreciate what she wrote about. Try to get the most updated version you can. She recently added two more chapters now that she's married and they're REALLY good.
May 20, 2008 Victoria rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone , no age limit
Recommended to Victoria by: Katie
Shelves: romance
This book was perfect. It's about becomeing emotionaly attached ( to a member of the oposite sex ) and at what time in a relationship that should be allowed to happen.
It's about guarding your heart , and how most people only think to save the phisical, not the emotional for marriage.
I am not a fan of this book.
Which isn't saying that I'm not a fan of subject; I am.
I think the author probably is excited about the subject, but I don't think she has the ability to expound on it very well.
She uses a pretty ridiculous story as an example.
Being emotionally pure before marriage is what this book is all about, and I agree wholeheartedly. I was a little confused sometimes about what she was trying to get across and how she was dealing with our questions, but I got the gist of it. Great book!
This book was amazing!! I highly recommend this book to girl who wants to keep their emotions pure and right before God. This book will show how to define and set boundaries in relationships, and how to avoid making the same mistakes.
A fresh perspective on guarding the heart and taking captive every thought to the Lord. Heather backs her statement up biblically as well. It is geared toward singles but there is perspective for couples as well to contemplate.
My oldest girls just finished this book. I am now previewing it before my thirteen year old reads it. So far, I have found it to be a terrific book and it is of great value for men and women.
Tiffany Huggins
This book is aimed toward girls, but there are sections written to guys. I found this to be a really great book-it's a subject that most people don't think about, but i learned a lot from it!
Jane Lee
I wish I read this book earlier in my life, right when I began to become interested in the opposite sex. It would have saved me from a lot of heartaches and wastage of mental energy.
Cassandra Noelle
Pretty good, but not half as life changing as Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot and I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. That's just my personal opinion, though.
Jul 12, 2013 Lydiana rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Every guy and girl
I read a few years ago, and didn't really get it. Now it was really good to read. Very helpful. The author makes many good points. A must read for every guy and girl.
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Emotional Purity (Includes Study Questions): An Affair of the Heart

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“Waiting for God is not always an easy task, but in the end His blessings will far outweigh any blessing you can imagine.” 2 likes
“you want to avoid pain in your dating relationships, you are going to have to make a change. You can’t take the same path and expect a different outcome. You must take a totally new course.” 2 likes
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