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Beauty Queens

by Libba Bray (Goodreads Author)

3.57 of 5 stars 3.57 · rating details · 18,768 ratings · 3,491 reviews

The fifty contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner.

What...more

Hardcover, 396 pages

Published May 24th 2011 by Scholastic Press (first published May 1st 2011)

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May 31, 2011 Penny rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: check-your-brain-at-the-door, chick-lit, disappointing, grrrl-power, pirates, reviewed-books, ya-fiction

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, mix the plots from Drop Dead Gorgeous, Austin Powers, Mean Girls, Lost, and Lord of the Flies. Whip until nice and fluffy. Stir in equal parts Bollywood, Boy Bands, Pirates, An Evil Corporation, Crappy Parenting, Reality TV, Miss Teen USA pageants, and commercials aimed at teens. Next add 4 cups Teenage Sexuality (all types), 2 cups Feminism, 1/2 cup Identity Issues, 1/2 cup Self-Esteem Issues, 16-Teenage Beauty Queens (all types. Just make sure one...more

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Jun 29, 2012 Nancy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: audio-books, kids-and-teens, library-books, satire, disability, feminism, lgbt

I was on the fence about this book. A story about teen beauty pageant contestants stranded on a desert island just doesn’t do anything for me. After reading Stephanie’s review, I decided to try the audio version. At first, I thought it was ridiculous, irritating and just plain stupid. It wasn’t long before I was laughing and snorting in public places.

In the beginning, it was a little difficult to get to know the characters. The story is told from different perspectives and it was hard for me to...more

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Nov 26, 2011 Amanda rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, meh

Meh. Just meh. Beauty Queens is not at all what I expected. What I expected was a group of beauty queens crash land on an isolated island and it's not long before the ruthlessness of the pageant morphs into a violent "survival of the fittest" mentality, a la Lord of the Flies. I would have also settled for a dark and biting satire on consumerism and pop culture. Alas, what I got was an increasingly irritating "Girl Power!" message that never quite got off the ground as it never quite rejected ev...more Meh. Just meh. Beauty Queens is not at all what I expected. What I expected was a group of beauty queens crash land on an isolated island and it's not long before the ruthlessness of the pageant morphs into a violent "survival of the fittest" mentality, a la Lord of the Flies. I would have also settled for a dark and biting satire on consumerism and pop culture. Alas, what I got was an increasingly irritating "Girl Power!" message that never quite got off the ground as it never quite rejected everything it didactically preached against. As a message of female empowerment, it has all the depth of Day-to-Night Barbie (oh, how I remember that Barbie in her pink, tailored "go-getter" workplace dress that conveniently converted into a sparkly tulle evening number, proving to little girls that we could be serious and glamorous while we had it all).

To begin with, the novel was far too long and tried to pack in too much for what it was. Beauty queens crashing onto a deserted island is more than enough for a quirky, humorous read, but Bray packs everything she possibly can into the novel: pop culture gags, pro-LGBT messages, reclamation of female sexuality, skewerings of materialism and consumerism, secret lairs and evil mega-corporations. Hell, there's even an evil dictator named Mo-Mo who is a thinly veiled version of Kim Jong-Il. And on top of all of this is a thick layer of "You're perfect just the way you are!" frosting that makes everything A-Okay.

Now I'm a fan of all of these messages (and I especially applaud Bray for including lesbian, bisexual, and transgender characters). The problem is that the characters start off as stereotypical beauty queens, focused only on cosmetics, weight, dresses, and winning. The disconnect from society provided by the island gives them the opportunity to explore who they truly are without the consumer and societal "noise" telling girls what they should be. This is all well and good, but the girls seem to undergo an inauthentic sea-change in personality after building a few huts and sewing sparkly banners to attract help. They then become more intellectual, empowered versions of themselves, but no less stereotypical: the prickly feminist, the smart Indian girl, the tough lesbian, the defiant deaf girl, and the dumb bimbo who is trying, like, really hard to be smart. And then there is the tiny contingent of girls who survive for no other reason than to shoot off one-liners and help move the plot along. They're never given any depth or dimension, and are never really referred to by anything other than their "Miss . . . " title. The only interesting character is Taylor, the ultimate pageant girl, who finally snaps and, in a nod to Heart of Darkness and maybe even Tim O'Brien's Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong, becomes one with the violence that has always lain dormant within her.

Bray vacillates between slapstick humor and serious messages. While I did enjoy the first few chapters and there were some lines that made me laugh, most of the humor was predictable and inspired only an eye-roll as I turned the page. Unfortunately, the smart stuff, the stuff that needs to be recognized and addressed, becomes lost in the fluff. The novel's own inane silliness ultimately downplays what could have been a more powerful exploration of being a girl in today's society. Or it could have been just a fun powder puff of a novel. Either way, it would have been better than what it ultimately turned out to be. I suppose I could be accused of taking this more seriously than I should have, but I think the same argument could be made of Bray. By the ending chapter, the girls dance their way off the stage while the narrator tells us what they're wearing and gives a synopsis of what their future lives hold. Like Day-to-Night Barbie, they look fabulous and have fabulously successful lives. For the same reason I ultimately got rid of Barbie, I think I'll get rid of Beauty Queens.

Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder (less)

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Mar 30, 2012 Aerin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Aerin by: Christy

Shelves: feminism, audio

When my smart, normal older sister devoured the Twilight novels a few years back, I wanted to know why. Was she not aware that they were crap? Had she not noticed the awful writing and the creepy glorification of controlling, abusive relationships?

She was, and she had. But, she said, she couldn't stop reading them anyway. "Meyer taps into something deep and primal in the female psyche," she said. "So even though you know it's stupid, it satisfies this part of yourself that's perpetually thirteen...more

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Mar 10, 2012 Kat Lowe rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor

"Gather round ladies; we've got ourselves a crisis. Seems some nasty author has written a big pack-of-lies about yours truly, trying to derail my bid for the Presidency," says Ladybird Hope, most famous winner of the Miss Teen Dream Pageant.

"Crap. I've been scooped," whispers Miss New Hampshire to herself.

Miss Mississippi looks confused. "People don't actually read for fun, do they?"

Miss Texas frowns, but attractively. "A future President must take the bull by the horns. Y'all just listen respec...more

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Jan 26, 2012 Stephanie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, humor, ya, 2011

Kayso, like, after three books in a row that kinda sorta made me angry, I wanted to, like, read something totally funny and ridiculous. And I was like "Beauty Queens" a book about teen beauty queens on a plain, that like OMG, crashes on a desert island and they have to survive and stuff, wouldn't make me, like, have to think and stuff....none of that politicy stuff either....yuk.

But I was wrong. Yes this is a story about 50 beauty contestants for a pageant called Miss Teen Dream, and how the 12...more

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Jul 12, 2011 Sparrow rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: everyone

Recommended to Sparrow by: Caris

Shelves: girls-rule, hilarious, romantic, slaves, utopia-dystopia, reviewed, motherless-daughters

In most ways, this book was absolutely written for me. It is LOST + Miss Congeniality + Susan Faludi’s Backlash. Sarah Palin and GW stand-ins make appearances to be generally villainous. It has lovely, lovely girls, lots of action, and some pretty hilarious jokes. Oh, and hilarious jokes in the footnotes. (Because why use endnotes, people? No need to be coy.) There is one about putting dolls on a pedestal that is my favorite joke in the book, if you want to know. The odd thing about the book is...more

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Apr 05, 2011 Caris rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, young-adult

A group of teenage beauty queens board a plane headed for a photo shoot in some tropical destination. En route, something bad happens and the plane crashes. Amid the rubble and bodies, a relatively small group, maybe fifteen or so, survives. Any hope of rescue quickly proves pointless.

Imagine for a moment that everyone on Gilligan’s Island was Ginger, or that the island in Lord of the Flies was populated only by valley girls. At first, it’s strikingly stupid, isn’t it? Instead of focusing on res...more A group of teenage beauty queens board a plane headed for a photo shoot in some tropical destination. En route, something bad happens and the plane crashes. Amid the rubble and bodies, a relatively small group, maybe fifteen or so, survives. Any hope of rescue quickly proves pointless.

Imagine for a moment that everyone on Gilligan’s Island was Ginger, or that the island in Lord of the Flies was populated only by valley girls. At first, it’s strikingly stupid, isn’t it? Instead of focusing on rescue or preserving their lives, they paint their nails and work on their pageant talents. Really, there’s no reason why they should survive.

But, in spite of it all, they do. They survive quite well, in fact.

In this book, Libba Bray treats the beauty queen mentality as an extended metaphor for girlhood. Girls in our society (and countless others) are forced into some role or other, regardless of what might make them happy or content. In this case, they’re forced to embrace femininity to an absurd extreme: their bodies must be completely hairless, their make-up flawless. What they think isn’t nearly as important as how they look.

In the Southern United States a number of years ago, pigs escaped from their farms and started to inhabit the swampy parts of the wilderness. Over a few generations, they adapted to the wild. Men called them feral. This, in short, is what happens to the girls in this book. Free of the societal constraints that hold them to this particularly absurd caricature of life, they forge real friendships and learn about themselves. They find that they have thoughts and skills, that their contributions to society extend far beyond making the population a little nicer to look at.

Perhaps the text was forced in a few places. Perhaps it was cheesy.

But, then again, it presented a tolerant view of LGBQT issues. It portrayed sex as something not inherently evil. It showed that female empowerment isn’t as much an option as it is a necessity. What did you do today?
(less)

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Sep 26, 2011 Madeline rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: kids-and-young-adult, ugh

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Before we begin, let me just say this: I feel really bad about the review I'm going to write here. Normally, I don't mind writing negative reviews - in fact, much for the same reason I always get a little thrill when someone trolls my reviews, I sort of enjoy doling out negative criticism (for the psychology behind this, please refer to Anton Ego's monologue on criticism at the end of Ratatouille) Especially when it's an author I dislike - I can and will trash Twilight until its memory is wiped...more

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Dec 10, 2012 Rose rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: audiobooks, romance, tbr-challenge, contemporary, humor, young-adult, favorites, quarterly-challenge-8-2013

Whoa, where do I start on Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens"? I haven't had a book completely blindside me as far as content goes for quite some time. I'm clearly at a loss for words as I write this review, because 1. I'm trying not to hold my sides from laughing so much at this book, and 2. I don't quite know how to explain "Beauty Queens" appeal when it has so many elements in it that work, but theoretically shouldn't. That might sound odd, but I'll explain it as I go into further detail.

I went into...more Whoa, where do I start on Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens"? I haven't had a book completely blindside me as far as content goes for quite some time. I'm clearly at a loss for words as I write this review, because 1. I'm trying not to hold my sides from laughing so much at this book, and 2. I don't quite know how to explain "Beauty Queens" appeal when it has so many elements in it that work, but theoretically shouldn't. That might sound odd, but I'll explain it as I go into further detail.

I went into this novel with one idea of what it would be about, but was completely surprised when it turned several measures on its head and ran with them. There were times when I thought "Oh no, Bray did not just go there," and pretty much in the scheme of events, Bray's response was "Yes, I did go there, and I'll take it one step further." A word of warning: this novel tackles satire and dark humor alongside addressing diversity, commercialism (very heavy amount of commercialism), sexuality, feminism/gender roles, among other measures. I firmly believe that this book will not be a one size fits all in terms of how it comes across.

And yet I loved, no, adored this book. It made me laugh for a good portion of the read. There were some things I had to swallow with a huge spoon of sugar, but I think Bray's work had a lot of heart behind it. Not so much on the developmental side as much as it was on the "off-the-cuff", eye to stereotyping that seems to poke fun at itself whenever it can. And yet it had many important things to say about being true to who you are and not giving into the mixed messages that are sold to you in society - that's what I came out of it with and I do appreciate that Bray chose to tell this tale the way she told it. Heck, I didn't know Bray had a background in marketing, and with the commercial incorporation in this book, I thought the way she delivered them were brilliant. The footnotes were a fun add as well (and this was one of the times I would say they were done very well in fiction).

The long and short of what this book is about is this: a group of teen beauty queens from the United States crash land on a deserted island and are left to fend for and among themselves. Some of them make it, some of them don't, but this novel is about the ones that do. You'd think this would be slightly depressing, but it has this cheerful snark that doesn't hesitate to punch where it can.

There's a fair helping of characters here that are somewhat stereotypical. Token confident Texas girl (who pulls a Rena* a good way into the novel), token dim-witted beauty, token minorities, token girl with a disability, etc. Technically, token characters would have me on my toes to protest and rage, but the sharp humor they put across somehow endeared me to them. I gradually got to know them as more than their purported portrayals, even if there were certain places where the novel developed them and became a little sluggish in the process. The humor was very self aware, and Bray doesn't hesitate to turn certain troupes on their heads and come across with them in ways you'd least expect. There are quite a bit of characters to keep up with, but surprisingly I got to know each of them. What made the backbone of this novel was the way they interacted with each other to survive and while I wouldn't say the changes within them were necessarily deep, detailed or profound, they were noteworthy and showcased a clear growth from where they were in the beginning of the novel.

The girls are all a part of the pageant for their own reasons, some even having quite a bit of secrets to hide, but the reveals are fun, and ultimately as the novel goes forward, there are a number of colorful characters that the girls come across that even add to the enjoyment of the novel. I actually ended up enjoying the pirates with the hot abs, even. =P

In the end, this was a fun novel that I enjoyed immensely for my first read from Bray, and I would not hesitate to re-read it again. I recommend it for those who want a funny story with some strong witty commentary about contemporary society, female empowerment, and just a very different read from the typical YA spectrum.

Overall score: 4/5

*Note: Rena is a character from the anime series Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni. If you have ever seen that series, you would kind of know what I'm talking about. :P(less)

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Nov 01, 2011 Jackie "the Librarian" rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, teen-books-adults-can-enjoy, youngadult, satire, controversial, glbt

Hate reality tv and think the world is going to hell because of how shallow the American culture is? Libba Bray agrees with you. Beauty Queens is an awesome, extremely strong satire sending up:
- reality tv
- beauty pageants
- advertising
- arms dealing
- international diplomacy
- and Gilligan's Island

Beauty contestants crash land on an island, and it's a battle for survival with nothing but beauty products! Yes, it can come across like Libba Bray hitting you over the head with all of this like...more

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Jan 31, 2012 Ashleigh Paige rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: amazon-vine, the-shameful-shelf-of-get-rid-of-it, arc

Also appears on The Screaming Nitpicker. I received my copy through Amazon Vine. Rewritten in July 2011.

After their Corporation plane crashes on a desert island, the fourteen surviving beauty queens of the Corporation-sponsored Miss Teen Dream beauty pageant must fend for themselves and find a way to either make a home out of the island or be rescued. Between their clashes and practicing for the pageant, they come to rely on one another and discover themselves now that they're away from the pres...more Also appears on The Screaming Nitpicker. I received my copy through Amazon Vine. Rewritten in July 2011.

After their Corporation plane crashes on a desert island, the fourteen surviving beauty queens of the Corporation-sponsored Miss Teen Dream beauty pageant must fend for themselves and find a way to either make a home out of the island or be rescued. Between their clashes and practicing for the pageant, they come to rely on one another and discover themselves now that they're away from the pressures put on them by society and even their own families. But just beyond the forest, there is a Corporation compound planning an illegal arms deal with a dictator. These women aren't going down without a fight once they're discovered and plan to save the day, along with get the hell off that island.

When I read this just over a month ago, I loved it. Hell, I was over the MOON for it. After time to think about it, I fell out of love with this book. It isn't as great as I first thought it was and it would be a travesty if I didn't correct myself and make my true opinion known. Looking back at my old review, I'm wondering why I felt the way I did and I'm left without answers. My old review feels kind of... well, forced. Like I was blinded by the hype and forcing myself to say it because I just couldn't imagine not liking it.

There were a few funny points, but this satire wasn't as funny as I thought it was. The characters, starting out as stereotypes, all got their moment of depth but none of the moments were very well. The messages of female empowerment, that women and diversity should be celebrated and people should accept themselves as they are, are awesome, but they're not presented well. It's more like they're preached at me.

Preachy. Yeah, that's the one word I would use to describe this book. All of the values and ideas felt like they were being preached and thrown at me, not smoothly woven into the story. I support and believe in all that stuff already, so there's no need to preach it all to me. The magic of satire is that it makes people think about the subject, right? With Beauty Queens, all the ideas are presented to you and the reader doesn't have to think. The magic of it goes out just like that.

What wins the book for me even a little bit is that I did have soft spots for three of the characters (Adina, Petra, and Shanti) and that I liked most of the footnotes in the book. The ideas are great, but the way they're presented isn't.

In the end, Beauty Queens now leaves me speechless, and not in the way people want to be left speechless. This review itself is an example because this has to be one of the shortest reviews I've ever written. There's not much I can say or go in-depth about. (Also, I'm trying to cut down on my babbling.)(less)

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Jul 09, 2012 Carol rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book has received such mixed reviews, I didn't really know what to expect. I tried listening to the audio - which was read by the author. She did a great job - I loved the voices she gave some of the girls. The beginning was pretty funny. Then things just got crazy and the story totally lost me. I finally just turned it off as I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't think I would have made it past the first few chapters if I had been reading the actual book so I am glad I listened to as much a...more

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Sep 28, 2012 Melissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-teen-book-reviews, audiobook-reviews-2012, favorites, read-in-2012, teen-action-adventure, teen-dystopian-future, teen-fantasy, teen-general-fiction, teen-mystery, teen-romance, teen-sci-fi, with-reviews

Summary:
A plane full of teen beauty queens crash on a “deserted” tropical island. Will they survive the giant man-eating snakes, the pirates, the secret agents, and each other? Find out in this wild, laugh out loud funny, romp through the wilderness.

Review:
First off let me say that this book isn’t exactly what I expected. When I first heard about this book I was expecting something a little more Lord of the Flies with girls. Of course I expected the comedy, but what I didn’t expect was to find m...more

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Sep 18, 2012 Nenia Campbell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: gorgeous-covers, ya-baby-ya, x-2011s, girls-rule-boys-drool, send-in-the-roflcopter, ladybooks, a-likable-character-has-appeared, if-we-build-it-they-will-come, help-help-im-being-repressed, reviewed, fake-people-real-problems, flaming-red-hot-yowza, rsvp-or-die, some-kind-of-gay-thing, originality-rocks, insta-buy-authors, its-so-fluffy-im-gonna-die, survive-this-motherfucker, women-gone-wild

COMMERCIAL BREAK

VOICEOVER
My fellow Americans, your girls are being targeted by a very dangerous enemy. Young lives are at stake. And what's to blame? Books.

(Close-up of Ladybird Hope, standing in the foreground of an empty classroom with a prominently hung American flag)

Now, as y'all know, I'm all for education and the four Rs—readin', writin', 'rithmatic and razzmatazz. I'm all about that, you better believe it. I'm a mom, just like y'all, and when I'm not living in my six million dollar house...more

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Jun 04, 2012 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-reading-challenges, audio, glbt, ya-fiction

Why I picked it up: The cover is awesome, the premise sounded hilarious, and I’ve heard Libba Bray speak, so the idea of listening to her read her own book had me giddy with anticipation.

A plane carrying the contestants of the Miss Teen Dream pageant to a remote island crashes on said island. None of the camera crew or adult chaperones survive, and only some of the contestants do. Those who do survive must figure out how to survive, and since the show must go on, they also prepare to put on a pa...more Why I picked it up: The cover is awesome, the premise sounded hilarious, and I’ve heard Libba Bray speak, so the idea of listening to her read her own book had me giddy with anticipation.

A plane carrying the contestants of the Miss Teen Dream pageant to a remote island crashes on said island. None of the camera crew or adult chaperones survive, and only some of the contestants do. Those who do survive must figure out how to survive, and since the show must go on, they also prepare to put on a pageant as soon as they are rescued.

This is satire. There are fake commercials for products made by the company. (My favorite is for Maxi-Pad Pets, “a special friend in your pants.”) There are fake reality TV shows. There are a ton of footnotes, mostly about stuff Bray made up, but sometimes about references the average teenager may not have the background knowledge to get. Not all of the girls get enough time and attention to have a real personality, but many do, and they are real, believable, fleshed-out characters. Their relationships with and feelings about each other are complex and change appropriately. I thought it was great fun. Yes, some of the lessons are laid on a bit thick, but this is satire! It’s supposed to be thick and outrageous!

I listened to the audio book which the author herself reads. I know many people don’t like to listen to books read by the author but man, Libba knocks it out of the park. I think her narration makes it far more enjoyable. First of all, she does voices for the characters and each is distinct. And I love that the voices I hear in my speakers are probably the same ones the author heard in her head while writing, since I’m getting everything straight from the author’s mouth. There is also a bonus interview with the author at the end of the last CD. And most awesome audio bonus: the voice of Tiara gives the CD number at the beginning of each CD, and she adds a little something extra each time. It’s a really nice bonus for the audio book listeners to have that little extra bit in character.

My favorite quote is the Maxi Pad Pets commercial. If you can get your hands on a copy of the audiobook, it’s CD 10, track 4. Listening to it will not ruin anything about the plot, as it is one of the “commercial breaks.”

Reading Bingo: My Choice

Jessica's Scavenger Hunt: Secret Weapon(less)

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Aug 19, 2012 Smash added it

Shelves: young-adult, read-2011, signed, book-reviews, tough-issues, multiple-pov, read-own-hardcopy, book-covers-i-love

EDIT: I wanted to update this review and state that I listened to it on audio. It was, hands down, the best audio book I've ever heard! I was told that Libba won an award, and she deserves a million of them. I HIGHLY recommend this book on aduio.

Read this review at Smash Attack Reads

I knew this book was going to be amusing. The cover sorta leads to that assumption. What I did not expect, however, was the mockery and satire within the pages. This book is a breath of fresh air in a world so full o...more EDIT: I wanted to update this review and state that I listened to it on audio. It was, hands down, the best audio book I've ever heard! I was told that Libba won an award, and she deserves a million of them. I HIGHLY recommend this book on aduio.

Read this review at Smash Attack Reads

I knew this book was going to be amusing. The cover sorta leads to that assumption. What I did not expect, however, was the mockery and satire within the pages. This book is a breath of fresh air in a world so full of unattainable, ridiculous ideals, corporate pigs and malicious media asshats. The author pokes fun at the ludicrous parts of society in order to bring attention to just how ludicrous they are, and I’m hoping that the young women who have read this book "get it.”

For us older, jaded, in-the-know folk, this book is hella funny and sad at the same time. I laughed at so many things in this book, but my mind immediately went to why it was so laughable, which is not very funny at all.

Case in point:

“Last but not least, let’s welcome Tiara Swan, Miss Mississippi. Fun fact about Tiara: She thought you could get pregnant from swimming with a guy.” Adina shook her head. “Oh my goodness! Don’t you just love abstinence program? So not helpful.”

Amen for calling our abstinence-only sex education programs! I agree with Adina. They are quite worthless. I work with teens and let me tell you, they definitely know a lot more than you would ever imagine, but they are also severely misinformed about so much. Why we miss out on the perfect opportunity to give them proper information on a serious subject is beyond my comprehension. GLBT, Racism, Sexuality, Sexual Health, Mental Health, our absurd ideals on beauty, Corporate monsters, and so much more are mocked throughout the book, yet it really does make one think…and pisses one off, too.

There were a ton of characters in the story, but we got to spend time with each contestant and get in her head, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Some are more memorable than others, but they each brought an integral piece to the overall point of the book. Of course, landing on a deserted island can really challenge a girl’s beauty rituals. It was damn fantastic to see how their world view changes throughout the book. Amen.

The set up of the book was fantastic. It opens with “A Word from your Sponsors” and it continues as though you are viewing a reality-tv-series-gone-seriously-wrong. I LOVED the author’s use of footnotes to explain her pop culture references. It was hysterical and I enjoyed figuring out the real-life person/product she was referring to. Oh, and serious Kudos to Libba, as I think there was a RENT reference in there. ♥

And in case you were wondering, I am most definitely a Lost Girl...(less)

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Jul 06, 2012 Basil rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, lgbt, contemporary-realistic

I had such a weird time reading this, you guys! First I called it satire and loved it. Then I called it an expansion of an angry feminist blog post, and loved it. Then I called it overly self-aware, and was cautious about it. Then I sat back and read the damn, story, and loved it.

Then I got to the epilogue, and bawled my eyes out.

This book is a lot of things. It's satire, but it's a mirror to modern-day American culture. It doesn't take itself seriously, but then it does. It's thirteen coming-of...more I had such a weird time reading this, you guys! First I called it satire and loved it. Then I called it an expansion of an angry feminist blog post, and loved it. Then I called it overly self-aware, and was cautious about it. Then I sat back and read the damn, story, and loved it.

Then I got to the epilogue, and bawled my eyes out.

This book is a lot of things. It's satire, but it's a mirror to modern-day American culture. It doesn't take itself seriously, but then it does. It's thirteen coming-of-age stories at once, but there are Hot Pirates! The one-liners are killer. The very idea of General Good Times makes me giggle to myself. I mean, the thing is, Libba Bray is a fantastically funny writer.

But back to the angry feminist blog post thing. I've read those posts. I've agreed with those posts. I've WRITTEN those posts. I've debated with people ad nauseum about the fine line between diverse representation vs. tokenism. Reading this book felt like seeing all of those arguments, counter-arguments, counter-counter-arguments, etc., written out in incredibly entertaining story form. My own awareness of this, plus the author's awareness of the same -- and occasionally even the characters' awareness (see the part where the pirates abandon them and one of the girls comments about how they Just Can't Escape The Caregiver Narrative or something like that) -- infused my reading of the story, and sometimes even got in the way of it. That's the reason this is a 4-star instead of a 5.

And then, two weeks later, I can't stop THINKING about this book. 5 stars again, you guys. This book just gets under your skin.

It is, though, the only reason. The characters Bray creates are hilarious and real and great to spend so much reading time with. The political plot was so over-the-top ridiculous that it belongs on a Hollywood screen -- and I mean that in a good way. And what might seem, at first, like tokenism (there's the black girl! the Indian girl! the gay girl! the girl with the disability! the trans girl! the girl who thinks she's above pageants! the girl who's afraid of her own sexuality! the dumb girl! etc.), ends up being a collection of character traits in a much larger story. The girls may be gay, disabled, or what have you, and part of their stories revolve around those respective traits (as they should), but in the end, none of their stories are ABOUT those things. They're all about friendship, finding oneself, and what it means to be female.

Oh, and kicking the bad guys' asses.(less)

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Jul 20, 2011 Tabitha Olson rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: recent-reviews

I’ve read all of Libba Bray’s books so far, and have enjoyed most of them. Well, sort of. After her last book, I decided that her style just isn’t my taste and figured that would be that. But then I read the summary above. Sounds fantastic, right? Plus, the cover is hysterical. So, I got sucked into reading this book. And…

…Libba Bray’s style just isn’t my taste. I know this now, clearly and unmistakably, and I won’t be picking up another of her books. So, keeping that in mind, here are my though...more I’ve read all of Libba Bray’s books so far, and have enjoyed most of them. Well, sort of. After her last book, I decided that her style just isn’t my taste and figured that would be that. But then I read the summary above. Sounds fantastic, right? Plus, the cover is hysterical. So, I got sucked into reading this book. And…

…Libba Bray’s style just isn’t my taste. I know this now, clearly and unmistakably, and I won’t be picking up another of her books. So, keeping that in mind, here are my thoughts about Beauty Queens.

I will fully admit that I was mesmerized by beauty pageants when I was a kid. All those women looked so glamorous and perfect, and I thought they must have had better lives than mine. As I got older, I learned what pageant life is really like, and that completely changed the way I saw them. Beauty Queens is a spoof on pageants, and parts of it were very entertaining. Such as, Miss Texas’s determination to keep practicing her walk, rehearsing for the show, and quizzing herself on interview questions despite the fact that only a fraction of the contestants survived the plane crash. Plus, a search of the plane turned up as many beauty products as food and water. Those are such obvious clichés that they’re funny, and the story is chock full of them.

The parts I had difficulty with are specifically Bray’s style. She takes reality and turns it around to the point that it’s so clearly not possible and becomes funny. Well, funny for those who like that kind of humor. Beauty Queens is in the vein of Austin Powers meets The Naked Gun. I didn’t care for either movie, and, hence, didn’t care for this story. A girl with a tray sticking out of her head (but suffers from no medical trauma, other than her ‘look’ is ruined) and snakes that snarf people like in cartoons isn’t my cup of tea.

Even more so, that kind of humor sets the tone of the book. So, later on when things start getting pretty far ‘out there,’ I have no idea how to process it. Is Bray still trying to be funny, or is she trying to mix in a deeper message? If the latter, then the message got muddled in the crazy humor. At least, for me it did. I prefer a different balance of depth and humor.

That said, I have friends who would think this kind of thing is funny, and I’d definitely recommend this book to them and anyone else with a similar taste in humor. If you’re not so keen on slapstick, though, you might want to skip it.

I gave this 3 stars, but it's more like 2.5 for me. Maybe 2.75. (less)

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Aug 19, 2011 Paulina rated it 3 of 5 stars

Beauty Queens was a fun book to read. But it was also very, VERY frustrating!
At times I just wanted to scream: "Miss Teen Dreamers, CALM YO TITS!" Geeeeez! Definitely WAY too much estrogen in the air & poor me who forgot to bring an oxygen mask along got choked up in the process.

THE GOOD:

1. The book's hilarious! The "footnotes" were an absolute delight to read.
2. Tons of pop culture reference.
3. There were some very interesting characters. Some I have never even met before "cough Mary Lo...more

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Elizabeth (Elizziebooks) Very fun review! I don't necessarily agree on the "shoving down ideals" because I felt like the author was just sending the message that we don't need...more
Aug 19, 2011 07:20am

Paulina Hi & oh, thank you! ^_^

Ahaha oh my, I think I wasn't too clear with the whole "shoving down ideals" thing because I do agree with you & I do a...more
updated Aug 19, 2011 09:22am

Rab I love reading reviews with point form. So refreshing and easy to read. Also I know it's a little late to recommend this but listen to the audiobook r...more
Dec 18, 2012 04:58pm

May 22, 2011 Krys rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, deserted-island-survival, lgbtqi, third-person-narrative, read-in-2011, humour-comedy-satire, stand-alone, arcs-i-no-longer-have

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray was the perfect book to read as a follow up to City of Fallen Angels... not too hard, not too soft... wait, strike that, very soft. Very fun...it's satire after all.

A plane of contestants from the Miss Teen Dream Beauty Pageant has gone down in the ocean, the inhabitants washing up on an island paradise. They are all determined to maintain the pageant perfection, spurred on by the spunky Taylor Renee Krystal Hawkins...from Texas, of course! Adina Greenberg, the pagean...more

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Jul 02, 2012 Jessi rated it 4 of 5 stars

This took me forever to finish. Probably due to the amount of characters and stream of conscience writing style.

But I liked this book...even if I didn't really like this book. It was utterly entertaining, fun and original with a depth you wouldn't think possible. It was also mentally and emotionally exhausting. So much of our culture tells women that they are only their looks, and then turns around and tells them that their brains count, too...sort of, maybe, sometimes. It seems like women have...more

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Jun 07, 2012 Raeleen rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, favorites, own, want-to-reread, sexy-cover

That was freaking amazing. There are so many things I want to say about this book, but at the moment I'm so overwhelmed by the whole thing that I can't even think of what to say... I loved it.

Was it just me, or did the epilogue feel like the end credits to an awesome movie? I could picture the entire thing in my head, and it looked fabulous, bitches.

I JUST GOT THIS IN PAPERBACK

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Mar 24, 2012 Meg - A Bookish Affair rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, fiction, ya-children

This is sort of a strange book. The premise is pretty out there. Teen beauty queens from the Teen Dream pageant are stranded on a tropical island after their plane crashes. Was it really just a plane crash or something more? Add a creepy corporation and a sinister Sarah Palin-like pageant owner and you have a whole bunch of craziness. I had a really hard time with my suspension of disbelief for this book; it was just that crazy.

At first I really liked the story and then it got stranger and stran...more

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Jan 04, 2012 Patricia J. O'Brien rated it 4 of 5 stars

When I started reading Beauty Queens I wondered if I'd get through almost 400 pages peopled by shallow girls, whose biggest concern is outward appearance and public acceptance. I worried that even Libba Bray's wit and biting style wouldn't make me care about them. I was wrong. One of the beauties of this book is that the girls shed their secrets, overcome their fears and use whatever skills they have to stay alive after a plane crash on a deserted (or so they think) island. The survivors transfo...more

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Aug 22, 2011 Malissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult

I really liked this book. It's about girls who kick but while breaking all the stereotypes but not for the sake of breaking them (if that makes sense).

The book is about a plane full of teen beauty queens who crash on a (very Lost-like) island on their way to a national competition. At first Miss Texas, who declares herself leader, keeps the girls practicing their opening statements, dance routines, etc. Eventually though, the girls find out (I won't say how) that the whole world assumes them de...more

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Jul 17, 2012 Ana Carolina rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: cappucino

Okay, i NEEDED this.

First of all: This.Was.Hilarious! Really, couldn't stop appointing funny quotes in my little notebook for posterior laughter. Also, i realize that i really like satires, at least the funny ones.
It's funny, this pointed out the ridiculous of our society almost perfectly, not centering only the aspects that surround the Beauty Pageants but also the stupid stereotypes that are part of our daily life.

(view spoiler)...more Okay, i NEEDED this.

First of all: This.Was.Hilarious! Really, couldn't stop appointing funny quotes in my little notebook for posterior laughter. Also, i realize that i really like satires, at least the funny ones.
It's funny, this pointed out the ridiculous of our society almost perfectly, not centering only the aspects that surround the Beauty Pageants but also the stupid stereotypes that are part of our daily life.

(view spoiler)
(less)

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Sep 25, 2011 Vicky N. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: ya, favorites

There are no words to describe the awesomeness of this book. Even now that I've finished reading it I am still laughing.

Beauty Queens is a laugh out loud book whose main message is about women empowerment. The book is full of crazy characters who go through crazier situations that could only happen in a Libba Bray book or a Lady Gaga music video, but Libba B actually makes it work!

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Aug 22, 2011 Heidi rated it 3 of 5 stars

Three stars. I recommend this book with reservations. This book is not for everyone. The best way to describe this novel is that it is a satirical, modern day Lord of the Flies with sparkle, lip gloss and caricatures. The first half of the book was amazing. Twelve beauty queens survive a plane crash on an island. At first glance the girls come across as stereotypical teen age beauty contestants. As the book progresses an intimate portrait of each girl is revealed and you understand the undermini...more

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Jun 28, 2011 ♫ נєηη - ѕσυℓ σƒ ѕσυη∂ ♫ rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: novel, writers-i-look-up-to, disappointing-books, most-memorable-characters, must-reads-before-you-die

If anyone else had a plot like this, I would put it in the category of "stupid" just as I would with Going Bovine.

But hey, that was amazing. So why not this?

{after reading review}

I will say it.

Beauty Queens was disappointing. I expected superawesomespectacularosis (is that a disease? Because it should be. The disease of awesomeness!) from Libba Bray, but instead, I got amazing. What the hell? After reading The Gemma Doyle series and GOING BOVINE (best book ever much?), I expected more than aweso...more

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About Libba Bray

What is it about writing an author bio that gives me that deer-in-headlights feeling? It's not exactly like I'm going to say "I was born in Alabama…" and somebody's going to jump up and snarl, "Oh yeah? Prove it!" At least I hope not.

I think what gets me feeling itchy is all that emphasis on the facts of a life, while all the juicy, relevant, human oddity stuff gets left on the cutting room floor....more

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A Great and Terrible Beauty (Gemma Doyle, #1)

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Quotes from Beauty Queens

“Why do girls always feel like they have to apologize for giving an opinion or taking up space in the world? Have you ever noticed that?" Nicole asked. "You go on websites and some girl leaves a post and if it's longer than three sentences or she's expressing her thoughts about some topic, she usually ends with, 'Sorry for the rant' or 'That may be dumb, but that's what I think.” — 179 people liked it

“Really, being a librarian is a much more dangerous job than you realize.” — 122 people liked it

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