How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend
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How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend
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3.56 of 5 stars
David Gershwin's summer is about to take a turn for the weird. When his dad's new patient Zelda tells him she's from outer space and on a quest to ... read full description

reviews

Oct 24, 2011
Toni (U.A.C.) rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Setting: Current Day France. David's dad is a well known psychiatrist; his mother is a highly regarded divorce lawyer. Story starts off with David at his dad's place in the country where he meets Zelda, who is being treated by David's father and tells David that she's an alien who's travelled to earth to find and bring back her soul mate. At an age (14) where he’s realizing how awesome and terrifying girls can be, David is spellbound by this pretty, enigmatic, and slightly violent tempered gir More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Nov 11, 2011
Cynthia rated it: 3 of 5 stars
3.5 stars;

A funny and wacky adventure about a boy named David, who's fallen head over heels for alien girl Zelda. Zelda (whom everyone thinks is just violent & crazy and not an alien) is here on earth to find her "chosen one" who she's sure is Johnny Depp, and David is here to help, no matter how crazy and strange the situation he's gotten himself into has become.

It was a funny read, and my favourite relationship in the story was not Zelda and David's (though th More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Sep 15, 2011
Jordan rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Heeeeere's Johnny--
--Depp (that is)!

...if only it was that easy for Zelda, the 325 year old alien from the planet Valhalal, who on Earth looks like a 15 year old uber-babe. See, she's desperately needing to find her perfect mate (Johnny), and will do so while wearing the skimpiest designer bikini, all the while on the run from the police (cause she's "crazy", duh)!

Sound maddeningly hot??? Just think how 14 year old never-kissed-a-girl David feels who's tagging More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Dec 22, 2011
Amanda rated it: 5 of 5 stars
"How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" is easily the most hilarious and fun book I've read all year. The author, Gary Ghislain, knows he's dealing with zany material, and he lets it ride through the whole book.

Interestingly, though, the book comes together as a great account of male adolescence and fantasy and plays upon the reader's understanding of sanity and the opposite.

The characters are quirky, and though our protagonist is a young boy, most of the centr More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Jun 05, 2011
Rabiah rated it: 5 of 5 stars
Originally Posted at: http://iliveforreading.blogspot.com/2011...

**This Review is based on an ARC (Advanced Reader's Copy). The final text/cover may be different.**

I can say with all honesty, it was the title that grabbed my interest.
I mean, with a really bizarre and eye catching title as "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" it's bound to get attention! (You know, besides the point that Johnny Depp's name is in the title...anyone seen Pirates 4? Wan More...
2 comments like (1 person liked it)
Feb 21, 2012
Sam rated it: 5 of 5 stars
The title drew me to this book (since I am a female and therefore a Johnny Depp fan) but I expected a cornball story and I got something much greater. I was pleasantly surprised by this hilarious tale of a teen boy who falls for one of his Dad's mental patients. Zelda claims to be from another planet, one on which women rule and men are tolerated until they are not useful. At that point, they are killed or vaporized. Although he does not believe her, David risks everything to help Zelda comp More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
May 01, 2011
Jenny rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Actually, I 'd give it a 3 1/2. Very, very funny with great characters and a wild plot.
0 comments like (3 people liked it)
Dec 27, 2011
Christina (Reading Thru The Night) rated it: 3 of 5 stars
The Short of It

Alien love, the next big thing?

The Long of It

David first meets Zelda in his house ‘cuz David’s dad is a Big Deal shrink and he believes having patients in a home-like situation allows them to get a grip on things quicker. (Dr. Dad also shuns the idea of crazy). Zelda is pretty much on lock down. She might have gotten a wee bit violent in a few escape attempts. She is quite clear that she is an alien and has come to France to find her soul mate. D More...
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Oct 31, 2011
Christine rated it: 4 of 5 stars
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Aug 19, 2011
Diana rated it: 4 of 5 stars
A scrawny teen staying with his psychoanalyst father who specializes in troubled teens realizes that Zelda, the gorgeous new girl who has been admitted may actually be the alien she claims to be. If she can't find her mate who will be locked up in a tower on her home planet before her tattoo disappears she will be doomed to stay on Earth. Zelda has some amazing powers and not much use for males but ??? has fallen hard. She can't be locked in and can even escape and ankle monitor. They end up in More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Jul 23, 2011
David rated it: 4 of 5 stars
So, I'm not a teen, nor have I been for quite some time, but I found How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend to be engaging and rewarding -- for a book of its genre.

David Gershwin is a typically hormonal teen boy, with an undeveloped physique and somewhat poltroon nature, spending an unremarkable summer with his father, a renowned psychologist, in rural France. David's father takes on a new, very violent, patient, Zelda, in his ward, who recounts a remarkable story: she is from an More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Jul 08, 2011
Cindy rated it: 4 of 5 stars
David’s dad is a therapist who lives in the small French town of Cornouaille. David knows not to get to close to the patients, but Zelda fascinates him. She claims to be from another planet, and she’s here on earth to find her chosen one. To her it makes no difference that in the process of searching she needed to steal food, and when she was caught she sent to security guards to the hospital.

At first David thinks Zelda is as crazy as his dad’s other patients, but as he gets to know Ze More...
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May 03, 2011
Ramie rated it: 4 of 5 stars
Thanks to his father's career as a therapist David Gershwin is used to experiencing people who make odd claims. Until he sees Zelda in his father's office he's never really taken much interest in these patients. Sure Zelda claims to be from Vahalal, to be three hundred and twenty five years old, and is a bit mean to David -- but hey she's cute and scares the heck out of grown men, what more could a fourteen year old boy want in a girl? Maybe to not have her searching for her chosen one (Johnn More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Jan 11, 2012
Sandra rated it: 5 of 5 stars
Sandra’s Sentiments: I sat for a few days trying to find the right words to describe this book. After tossing around some clever and witty quips, I decided to get straight to the point: Stop reading my review and go get it immediately!Seriously, if I could only keep five books for the rest of my life, this would be one of them.

The storyline is intriguing, the characters are wonderfully written, and if you aren’t laughing then you’re sitting on the edge of your seat!The book is only 1 More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Nov 04, 2011
Melody rated it: 4 of 5 stars
There are people who think it's disturbing that Bella fell in love with Edward with a 70 year age gap between them. What will people say when they read "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" when they find out that David is 14 and falling in love with Zelda, who claims to be a 325 alien?
On the surface this a teenage boy's fantasy. David Gershwin has practically fallen in the laps of a race of hot, bikini clad, blood thirsty alien teenage girls. First he is introduced to Zeld More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Mar 03, 2011
Amy rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Hot chicks from outer space with super speed & time bending powers - what 14 year old boy would not want to be making out with her? I mean, a real-live alien??? And she is hot, tattooed, has a killer body and wanders around in a bikini. This is not just a 14 year old boy's dream, but just about every male with a pulse has had this same fantasy. Only David doesn't just live this story in a fantasy, he gets the whole experience first hand, with YouTube video's to prove it. Zelda (our spicy al More...
0 comments like (6 people liked it)
Feb 18, 2011
Jackie rated it: 5 of 5 stars
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is one of the most outrageous, laugh-out-loud books I've read in a long, LONG time. Think Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets The True Meaning of Smekday...two of my very favorite books, by the way. When David's father, a famous therapist, is 'fixing' Zelda, all sorts of mayhem and mischief starts. Zelda is a wacky, one-track-minded, brutish woman, who is on Earth (from her planet Vahalal) to find her 'chosen one' and mate. Of course, there are no me More...
0 comments like (2 people liked it)
Jul 03, 2011
Nicole rated it: 3 of 5 stars
This was campy and sexy and fun. It seems I can put up with teen romance when it's written from a guy's perspective. Not sure if many teenage boys would actually read a book like this, but I would've enjoyed it as a teenage girl geek.

Not wholly original - kind of reminds me of a Lola Rennt/5th Element mash-up (not a bad thing in my book) - but endearingly wacky - and you can't write an Action Girlfriend/Mysterious Waif story without being a little derivative. The ending bothered me More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
May 31, 2011
Laura rated it: 2 of 5 stars
David’s father is a therapist who runs a sort of halfway house for troubled youths. One of his charges is Zelda, who looks like a fourteen-year-old girl but claims to be from outer space—specifically Vahalal, a planet inhabited by women, where men are “vaporized by the Valks.” She has come to Earth to find her “chosen one,” the person to whom she was assigned by her goddess on the basis of genetics. That person happens to be Johnny Depp. She escapes to run around downtown Paris wearing only a ti More...
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Nov 24, 2011
Wendy rated it: 2 of 5 stars
Great title, right? Though a bit misleading, it's suitably wacky for the premise: a young guy falls for a chick who may be from outer space on a mission to find her soul mate (or who may very well just be crazy).

I liked the story at first, enjoyed its oddness. I could even accept that Zelda with the mean green eyes liked to run around in bikinis (this is a book targeted at young guys, after all). But I became disenchanted with it as it began to dawn on me that all the men in the story More...
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May 28, 2011
Reader rated it: 4 of 5 stars
When 14 year old David Gerdhwin first encounters Zelda, she is handcuffed in his father's office, ranting about her need to escape and transfer the key to Vahalal to her chosen companion. After a few violent escapes by Zelda, David's father decides to send him back to Paris to stay with his mother, with an unannounced stowaway in the luggage. When Zelda demonstrates some superhuman talents during a mad dash around Paris, David starts to believe her story, even as he falls in love with her. Desp More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Mar 06, 2011
Crowinator rated it: 3 of 5 stars
I'm not sure what to make of this very trippy, genre-bending book. I liked it well enough, though to be honest, if it hadn't been so short I probably would have stopped reading around page 100. I couldn't understand why David fell for Zelda so hard (the fact that she's a hawt, crazy mess only takes his obsession so far), and as his feelings for her is one of the focal points of the story, it didn't quite work for me. The very last chapter is a total cop-out and doesn't make any sense given the v More...
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Oct 19, 2011
Brandi rated it: 4 of 5 stars
David’s dad has brought troubled teens to their house in the past. Having a psychologist for a father has opened David’s eyes to a variety of bizarre characters, but none of them have ever come close to Zelda. Not only does Zelda think she’s on a mission from outer space, she is freakishly strong. Having escaped twice, Zelda’s attempts left more than one grown man in need of serious medical care. David’s dad is concerned about Zelda’s dangerous outbursts and he bans David from any contact wi More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Jul 31, 2011
Gina rated it: 4 of 5 stars
My theory when beginning this book: Well if Johnny Depp's name is in the title is HAS to be good! Said theory was proven to be correct. And guess what? Not a single sign of teenage vampires! Hooray! ;)

14 year-old David Gershwin didn't plan on spending his summer Space Splashing all around France with a supposedly dangerous bikini-wearing alien girl trying to find and star-nap Johnny Depp... but what you intend to do and what actually happens on summer vacation are normally two differ More...
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Jul 09, 2011
Chelsea rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Besides having one of the best titles ever, this is a fun, short read for summer. 14 year old David falls hard for one of his father's therapy patients. Zelda is young, hot, and believes that she is an alien sent to Earth to find her "chosen one," who happens to be Johnny Depp. It's really more light romance and humor than sci-fi, and captures, strangely, that awkward phase when teen boys are still boys to most women despite wanting so badly to be seen as men. David is a really lovely More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
May 23, 2011
melydia rated it: 3 of 5 stars
Yeah, what you thought just now was pretty much what I thought when I picked up this book: "wait, what?" And that is, truth to tell, pretty much how I feel now that I’ve finished reading it. David’s father is a therapist for troubled teens whose latest client, the lovely Zelda, claims to be an alien searching for her Chosen One. This Chosen One turns out to be none other than famous actor Johnny Depp, but David follows her on her quest, more out of dumbstruck love than anything else More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Sep 17, 2011
Vincy rated it: 4 of 5 stars
A really cute and spunky book that reminds me a bit of John Green's writing style. Somehow Ghislain made Zelda both alien and accessible. She's vulnerable and human. I wanted to know more about Vahalal (which was probably intentionally close to Valhalla, but it kind of threw me off), but I realize the pace would have been off if he'd put any more effort into explaining the background.[return][return]I honestly enjoyed this book. It was fun and fast paced and funny, yet it touched on some deeper More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Sep 21, 2011
Laura rated it: 4 of 5 stars
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here
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Jul 04, 2011
Gmr rated it: 3 of 5 stars
A short and unusual read....oh come on...you had to guess that last part was coming from the title at the very least....you may be surprised to know that I wasn't entirely sold on the idea from the start. That's right. When it arrived on my doorstep, all I could think was, what in the world??? In keeping with the tone of honestly, the way the story jumped back and forth from brief scene to new character introduction and back again over the course of a single page....I was having a bit of trou More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)
Aug 30, 2011
Ifrah rated it: 4 of 5 stars
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend was the book that got me hooked from the very first chapter.This book is written from David's P.O.V. who is an ordinary teenager,living with his Dad.His dad works as a therapist.When a patient,Zelda,is brought to him for the treatment,David is immediately attracted to her,despite the fact that Zelda claims to be from the outer space!.
Zelda is beautiful,wild,kick-ass girl,who is in search for her "Chosen one"--Johnny Depp !. And for that,s More...
0 comments like (1 person liked it)