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Which Brings Me to You

by Steve Almond, Julianna Baggott (Goodreads Author)

3.47 of 5 stars 3.47 · rating details · 823 ratings · 132 reviews

Two rambunctious, romantic flameouts. One boring wedding. One heated embrace in a quiet coatroom. This is not exactly the recipe for true love. John and Jane's lusty encounter at a friend's wedding isn't really the beginning of anything with any weight to it; even they know that. When they manage to pull back, it occurs to them that they might start this whole thing over p...more

Hardcover, 300 pages

Published April 28th 2006 by Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill (first published January 1st 2005)

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Lists with This Book

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer

Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos

Epistolary Fiction

87th out of 225 books — 245 voters

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Sep 03, 2010 Joni rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: coming-of-age, humor, epistolaryletters, adult-not-kids-lit

Boy meets girl at wedding; they get naked in coat closet together, then decide, hey we might have something here - I might really like you for reals.
So they agree to write letters - real pen and ink letters - to each other, "try getting to know each other first, telling each other everything, aiming for honesty over seduction."
So WE, the opportunistic readers, to read their "traded confessions - of their messy histories, mistakes, flaws, and passions, the ones they've bruised,the ones who bruis...more

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Oct 04, 2008 kthread rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have always thought the opening sentence of a book is the author's best pickup line pitched at the reader.

More so, then, in a book where well-constructed paragraphs hold the explicit promise of intimate relations--that, at least, is the premise of this post-postmodern epistolary novel where the two hyperarticulate protagonists agree to reveal the nasty bits of their romantic pasts in letters before meeting up again in real life.

My former colleague Craig Stoltz put it best, I think, when he r...more I have always thought the opening sentence of a book is the author's best pickup line pitched at the reader.

More so, then, in a book where well-constructed paragraphs hold the explicit promise of intimate relations--that, at least, is the premise of this post-postmodern epistolary novel where the two hyperarticulate protagonists agree to reveal the nasty bits of their romantic pasts in letters before meeting up again in real life.

My former colleague Craig Stoltz put it best, I think, when he reviewed the book for the Washington Post:

"This book is full of superb writing, and that is precisely its problem...The trouble is Jane's letters sound an awful lot as if they've been written by an award-winning author and writing instructor with an MFA. So, alas, do John's. To say this spoils the fun is to understate."

To return to the first line of the book, though, it reads: "I know my own kind." I can only assume that many of the fine Goodreads members who give such lukewarm reviews below are not sympathetic to this kind. Whether the lack of sympathy for this kind is due to character, snark, or textual framing, the book's prelude section remains a worthy meditation on a smushed boutonniere and contains a line of sexual absolution on page five that I have taken as a personal motto (curious? I thought so).

Moreover, how can you ignore the serious fun of keeping the conceit of a post-postmodern epistolary novel aloft for the length of a novel? I mean, really, our two protagonists always have stamps on hand?

And when one mails a drunken letter irretrievable from the postal carrier once deposited in the mailbox, a "remix" chapter follows with all the apology that comes after drunkdials and drunken texts/emails and none of the clarifying horror of the "sent messages" outbox (tell me the "sent messages" folder isn't your favorite, and I will denounce you for the terrible liar that you are).

Perhaps I read this in one sitting because each chapter contains character details I covet. To have our hero admit he is a "marginalia junkie"; to be able to refer to a past lover as "the caramelized one"; to articulate an awareness of destructive tendencies and the wherewithal at seventeen to intuit that "boys were dangerous. Each one was shining, lit from within; their souls were torches." Seemingly trivial and breathy at times, this is true stuff of the sort flawed, complicated, real relationships are built upon.

It's worth remembering that epistolary works were originally "penned" by female characters (Aphra Behn, of course, used the form; male authors like Richardson would take pains to insist in the introduction that the female narrator's story was "true") when the novel was still crystallizing into a genre. Appropriately, the end of the novel careens a bit like its tipsy characters, and structurally, the multiple peaks within the letters throughout are followed by valleys leading to more peaks.

The very end comes together in that elegant way that always brings me to tears--not because it's an emotional moment (it is), but because each reveals their understanding of the other's most significant, sustaining source of pain, and those final admissions seal a narrative that the two characters share voicing--imperfectly and, ultimately, full of hope. (less)

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Jul 30, 2007 Jen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult, fiction

Jane and John are about to get it on in the coat room at a wedding when he suddenly stops – maybe there could be more to this relationship than just sex. So they part with only each other’s address and a vow to confess the details of important past relationships to the other. And so the letters begin - the gory intimate details of two lives. Once all the baggage is out of the way, will Jane and John have a chance at long-term happiness together? Or will their letters only prove that they have no...more

1 like · like · see review

Apr 05, 2007 Brandy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: library, adult, realistic

I need a half-star. Because this book was fun, and cute, and enjoyable. It was really, really good chick lit. But chick lit doesn't really deserve four stars... I think my ratings are very dependent on what kind of book it is, and for chick-lit, this is a four-star book. For literature, three. So I'd give it three and a half, except I can't.

Funny, sweet, awkward, quick read. What more can you ask in a budding romantic relationship? And it's a little predictable. (Show of hands: who thinks the ma...more

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Aug 25, 2010 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars

Despite the epistolary form, this book reads like a screenplay to me, cinematic yet realistic, if that makes sense. I know it might be a stretch to imagine "normal" people writing their letters in such a descriptive, fluid way, but I am willing to take that leap if it means getting that little extra shred of character or that sensory flash that you otherwise would not find in a letter written by someone who does not write for a living. John and Jane are bitter, sarcastic, at times surprisingly e...more

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Jun 14, 2010 Aviva rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is the second book by Steve Almond that I've read. The first was Candy Freak, which made candy sound better than sex. (Hmmm, does that mean I've been married too long?)

This book was fast moving, amusing, sexy. Two singletons meet at a wedding neither is feeling very good at attending, come thisclose to having sex in the coat closet and then decide to get to know each other via snailmail confessions and see where that takes them.

As someone whose early courtship took place, after a brief ini...more

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Jan 24, 2011 Margaret H. rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Reading this book almost immediately after The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society was very illuminating. They have many obvious similarities-- epistolary love stories and all-- but at the same time, they couldn't be more different. Guernsey is so charming and well-mannered. All falling in love happens while the characters are talking about something else-- books, the German occupation, Kit, Elizabeth. It's crowded with relationships beyond the romantic, just as much about falling in l...more Reading this book almost immediately after The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society was very illuminating. They have many obvious similarities-- epistolary love stories and all-- but at the same time, they couldn't be more different. Guernsey is so charming and well-mannered. All falling in love happens while the characters are talking about something else-- books, the German occupation, Kit, Elizabeth. It's crowded with relationships beyond the romantic, just as much about falling in love with a place and a life as it is about falling in love with a person. This book, in contrast, is really just about love and relationships-- and not sort of golden, funny-even-when-they're-bad relationships, but glorying-in-their-modern-messiness relationships. It's a totally compelling read, but I don't think it quite worked for me. Some of that is just my decided fustiness-- I like things old-fashioned, I like courtly love, I like British people, and historical window dressing. But other stumbling blocks are, I think, more legitimate. Like, for example, so far as the book shows, neither character has any friends-- they may exist at the fringes, but they are nowhere in the story. I don't like that, on a number of occasions, Jane says that she doesn't really do female friendships. I really hate that, when the characters do get together, John is throwing over a girl named Maggie-- a girl whose sort of sad clinging I identify with much more than Jane's lively brazenness. Obviously, I ripped through this book, and it was a compelling and fun read. I just didn't fall in love with it, and I was really hoping to. Granted, I'm still digesting this book, so writing this review is a bit premature-- I keep toggling back and forth between three and four stars for it, unsure whether I "really liked it" or just "liked it." I'm going to stick with "really liked it"-- because I can think of a lot of people I'd recommend it too, unreservedly, even if maybe my enjoyment of it was not unreserved. I'd say it's a grown-up's version of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I'd say that anyone looking for an epistolary novel version of Brenda and Nate from Six Feet Under (with a bit less morbid drama) would be very happy with it. But I think I might be a little too square for it to really hit home. (less)

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May 02, 2011 Eddie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Ok, I almost gave a five-star to this chic-lit of a book that was written by two different authors. Was what made me read this book in the first place and it worked so well, actually! But I thought to myself, I can't do that! Remember, you are a dude, a diesel mechanic who works with only men. Can you imagine, if they actually read, knew what you were reading and throughly enjoying it?! It'd be like those old Pace Picante salsa commercials: From New York City (aka a chic-type of a book)...? Get...more

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May 09, 2007 Mindy rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book reminded me of long ago days when all you had available for long distance communication was a letter. Words had to be chosen to convey just the right mood or emphasis. Our hurried, technology-filled lifestyle of today has robbed us the joy of opening a hand-written letter, pouring over every word, reading it again and again.

Character development was great but the story lacked an absolution; yet, I guess life and relationships are like that.

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Jul 16, 2011 Erin rated it 3 of 5 stars

If you're looking for a collection of well-written sexy stories, you'll probably enjoy this. I was finding it dissatisfying, and about halfway through I almost quit reading. Then I got suspicious that there might be a twist ending or a big reveal, so I finished it.

The male character is well-drawn and his stories are funny/poignant and wittily told. The female character is more of a cipher, which I didn't think was intentional so much as a problem of inconsistent tone. I was annoyed by how much...more

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Jul 05, 2007 Jeff Reguilon rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: postal service devotees, lousy lovers and fans of predictable endings.

There are portions of this book that remind me of a certain romantic blunder so stupefyingly painful and embarrassing I will likely never confess it to anyone. Still, I found myself able to push that aside long enough to gobble down this confection of an epistolary novel.

I am not, however, able to push aside the embarrassment of liking something a reviewer below calls "chick-lit." I've got a lot of hang-ups, man.

1 like · like · see review

Jan 30, 2009 Alicia rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was so funny. In that PG-13 Steve Almond sort of way. It's a series of letters between 2 people who meet at a wedding. They almost jump in the sack with one another at the wedding, but at the last moment they decide to stop and get to know one another first. But because one lives in Philadelphia and one lives in NY they decide to do this by letters. They are "confessional" letters, and they have promised each other they will tell each other the whole truth.

And tell they do. About past...more

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Jan 01, 2013 Alexandria Smith rated it 5 of 5 stars

It's been two summers since I first read this novel but it remains one that stands at the forefront of my mind - particularly when people ask what my favorite book is.

I found it one fateful day in the Dollar Store and decided to give it a shot. I was expecting a poorly written, contrived romance novel because of where I found it but I was greatly mistaken.

A joint effort by TWO authors (not just Steve Almond), Which Brings Me To You highlights the bruised hearts and sexual explorations of two c...more

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Aug 19, 2011 Sasha rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, chicks, library-books

I have very mixed feelings about this book, which doesn't happen often. I love it in that I enjoyed the different but well-blended voices of Almond and Baggott, the romanticized disasters of their love lives, the bittersweetness of it all... But I didn't like the ending, hated their over-insightfulness (it was just way too obvious that they were professional, diligent authors), and after I while, I was cynical and questioning about everything they said. It did hit a nerve for me when I realized...more

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Feb 01, 2013 Rebecca added it

This book came highly highly recommended by Linda Holmes of NPR's Monkey See blog and Pop Culture Happy Hour. All the other books I've read that she's recommended I've really liked. This one was a puzzle. I didn't hate it. I didn't love it. I was just puzzled as to why she thought it was so fabulous that by page 15 she was thinking of people to recommend it to. I often like books written as letters (The Gurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is a fav) so that wasn't an issue. It was just I...more

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Apr 18, 2012 Tuck rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: oh-loyd-i-wanna-be-hearkbroken

fun epistolary novel of 2 30-somethings confessing their past relationship lives through the post, because they really are attracted to each other, but also very scared to 'screw it up again'. julianna baggott is the other of this dual author book, but it works very well. it seems at times the letters are written by an mfa wunderkind but then we find out, yes, that is true, sort of. very funny in spots, almond more than baggott, but her character is more dangerous too, suggesting and/or doing cr...more

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Mar 28, 2011 Debbie Petersen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: beach-reads

Enjoyable and light, though with many flashes of insight throughout. The writing is almost too good, as though the couple writing letters to each other were secretly professional writers on assignment. I loved the opening lines..."I know my own kind. We're obvious to each other. I suppose this is true of other kinds, too: military brats, for example, anarchists, mattress salesmen, women who once got ponies as birthday gifts."

Another good one: "I began to realize that my life had been carted off...more

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Jul 22, 2009 Sabrina rated it 2 of 5 stars

I loved Steve Almond's Candyfreak. However, this is navelgazing, pretentious tripe in an epistolary format. Good light reading, hard for me to relate to since I did not grow up as a privileged suburbanite or a kid with supportive/hippie zen-no restrictions parents. I actually keep forgetting that so much shit that gets published is from contrite liberal-y folks that adopt cynicism as a response to their poverty of... poverty. It seeks a certain audience -- I'm not it. (Still, it's light chick-li...more

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Dec 23, 2008 Ciara rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people in need of a very low rent "griffin & sabine," romantics who came of age in 1991

Shelves: read-in-2007

i didn't really care for this book. it was co-written by steve almond & julianne baggott (i think that's her name) & it's about a man & a woman who meet one another at the wedding of some mutual friends. there's a spark, they make out in the coat room, & then they have a weird long-distance pseudo-romance that involves an exchange of confessional epsitles regarding their romantic histories. i guess the idea is that they will air their dirty laundry & if they are still interes...more i didn't really care for this book. it was co-written by steve almond & julianne baggott (i think that's her name) & it's about a man & a woman who meet one another at the wedding of some mutual friends. there's a spark, they make out in the coat room, & then they have a weird long-distance pseudo-romance that involves an exchange of confessional epsitles regarding their romantic histories. i guess the idea is that they will air their dirty laundry & if they are still interested in one another when they know all the terrible things in each other's romantic/sexual lives, they will meet in person again & consummate the romance. which is pretty much exactly how it goes down. of course they are into each other & they meet at some random train station in new jersey or something & do the deed. there is supposed to be some suspense around whether or not it's all going to work out, but it's like...it's a book. the book wouldn't be much of a book if it didn't culminate in these people getting what they wanted in the end. & all the stories of previous relationships gone off the rails is just kind of squicky & not fun to read, in much the same manner as you wouldn't really want all the nitty gritty details of your own partner's past relationships, because it will just make you feel insecure & maybe you'll think less of your partner somehow for either treating people in questionable ways or having the bad taste to choose dates that treat your partner in questionable ways. & plus, steve almond's dude character was way too dudely to me. i have found this to be a consistent problem in all of steve almond's writing (& i have read a surprising amount of it, but no more!). he's just too dudely & lacks subtlety. i mean, maybe he is not a subtle person in real life...which is another problem with this book. i have big issues reading about romantic/sexual problems in novels because i always wonder how much of the writing is actual autobiographical or reflects truths held dear by the actual author. i find it distracting & somewhat distasteful. thank goodness i just picked this up at the library & didn't actually spend money on it.(less)

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Aug 14, 2011 Julia rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm still not sure how I feel about this book, though I can say unequivocally that I enjoyed reading it. Jane and John are slick and entertaining, but it just those qualities that make them rather untrustworthy as narrators. This helped me relate to the vulnerability of a new relationship, but with so much uncertainty built into both sides of the equation, I had a hard time being invested in the end result of this correspondence. While the both the meet-cute and high school relationships were we...more

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Jul 06, 2011 Big E rated it 4 of 5 stars

An anti-Nicholas Sparks romance novel. The two letter writers, Jane and John, meet at a wedding and instead of immediately pursing a relationship, decide to confess all the excitement and deep pains of their meaningful romantic relationships to the present.

Favorite lines:

"I"m not afraid I can't accept love. I"m not afraid that I can't give love, fully, doors swung open wide. I"m afraid that I will not be really and truly, deeply understood."

"You should ask him to tell you the location of any spe...more

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May 27, 2009 Jeana rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: good-fiction

Honestly, I would give this 3 and a half stars. I did like reading it along the way. The premise of the story is these two characters--Jane and John--meet at a wedding and are about to have sex in the coat closet when they stop and decide--no, not like this. So they get to know each other first through these "confessions" about their previous life; which was pretty much just their log of failed love relationships. At the end, there they are--all their junk out on the table--and they can decide w...more

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May 24, 2008 Olivia rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who can indulge finesse of language over plot

Shelves: authors-i-have-met, my-professors, epistolary, favorites

Which Brings Me To You: A Novel in Confessions, starts off as any heart-melting art-house film might: two uppity and well-spoken characters meet at a wedding, and they fall in lust. However, instead of screwing in a coat closet, they decide to write each other letters, and what follows is the endless banter, tragedy, hilarity, and saccharine memories of their past loves. Word for word I love it, love every sickening, awesome sentence of their sensitive recollections of their mistakes. There's s...more

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Oct 01, 2007 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people

John and Jane attempt to have sex in a coat room after exchanging a few words of greeting, if looking at a dead lump on the lawn can be called greeting. Only John cannot do it, and thus with the letters of confession in lieu of sex, this story begins. Is this possible? Forsaking the chance to have wild random sex without attachment?
In such letters, John and Jane confess their past love lives to one another. They reminisce over the ones who have hurt them, misunderstood them, and the very same...more John and Jane attempt to have sex in a coat room after exchanging a few words of greeting, if looking at a dead lump on the lawn can be called greeting. Only John cannot do it, and thus with the letters of confession in lieu of sex, this story begins. Is this possible? Forsaking the chance to have wild random sex without attachment?
In such letters, John and Jane confess their past love lives to one another. They reminisce over the ones who have hurt them, misunderstood them, and the very same ones whom they have hurt and misunderstood. In each letter they write, they discover characteristics about themselves unbeknownst even to themselves. They psychoanalyze each other, at times hurling accusations, and at times offering real insight, real compassion. Their weaknesses, faults, and pernicious thoughts are on display for each other to analyze. Their letters offer them a chance to be honest with one another. T his honesty seems only possible through writing for they almost venture back into the realm of dishonest bullshit of initial dating to which most people succumb when they finally meet up at Hopewell.
Sometimes I feel that these two people are just selfish jerks, reveling in their own miseries, placing more importance on past loves and flings than such things actually deserve. I often find myself feeling sorry for their past loves, because I know that all of these previous relationships failed. John and Jane, at times, seem to be trapped in the intellectual bullshit of trying to explain away their past failures, yet at times, they seem to be sincerely vulnerable human beings, attempting at least…to be honest to each other, if not to themselves.
A few lines stick out. Jane says, “I have been afraid of the endless versions of my self. But I think when two people are right for each other and when they’re really in love, there is the possibility to become a better, truer version of yourself.” Perhaps this truer version is what we all strive for? And love and relationships are merely conduits for achieving such a version of oneself?
Jane also writes, “the greatest most ordinary sin is the act of passing people by.” But when she stopped and looked at these strangers’ faces, she “saw something like love.” And then she admits this love to John. She loves him, but love him in the sense of actually stopping. Indeed, the very instant they stopped for each other, they begin to love. Through these letters, they stop themselves from committing that “greatest most ordinary sin,” and thus offer each other the token of “the frail kind of forgiveness that one human being can hand over to another.”
“Everything is forgiven,” and the truer, more sincere self starts.
(less)

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Mar 19, 2010 Zach VandeZande rated it 4 of 5 stars

What do you say about a book written by two people? The fact that it's an experiment is either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. I'll say this: Steve Almond and Julianna Baggott are both brilliant in their prose, empathetic and funny and sexy in places. Each individual piece of this epistolary novel is lovely, but as a whole, I don't know, it's a little unsatisfying. Maybe because of the ending, maybe because it was doomed from the start to not gel entirely.

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Jun 11, 2010 Katelyn rated it 3 of 5 stars

I checked out this book from the library because of the first paragraph:

"I know my own kind. We're obvious to each other. I suppose this is true of other kinds, too: military brats, for example, anarchists, mattress salesmen, women who once got ponies as birthday gifts."

The rest of the book continues in the same fashion as a series of confessional letters, but it soon becomes apparent that it's just two authors vying for who can come up with the worst past relationship story.

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Dec 06, 2008 Kelly Hogan rated it 4 of 5 stars

The two main characters meet at a wedding and quickly find themselves on top of each other in a coat closet. It's pretty hot, actually. Jane and John don't "go through with it", however, but decide instead to have a relationship via letters of confessions.

They write to each other, describing their past relationships, most horrible thoughs, and their most embarrassing moments.

The book is a little "over the top" at times, and you start thinking, "Yeah. Right." But, for the most part, I found the...more

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Oct 23, 2010 Nina rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, good-time-laughs

Loved this one so hard. Boy meets girl at a wedding, hook up in closet, stop and think, "Hey, I think I ACTUALLY like you" so they throw the brakes and decide to take a step back and get to know one another. Through letters. Like real letters. So thus begins these two introspective, cynical, romantic flameouts trying to get to know one another through confessions of the past loves that didn't work. From first loves to the adult relationships that turned them bitter.

It's so much fun reading them...more

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Jan 28, 2011 Kaijsa rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I liked this a ton, and think the collaboration worked wonderfully. The story opens on a failed wedding reception hookup between Jane and John. The two, who live in different states, decide to get to know one another through confessions they'll send back and forth through the mail. Except for the first and last chapters, the entire novel is made up of this correspondence. The premise sounds too cute, but the execution was really interesting and unexpected.[return][return]This book was devastatin...more

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Nov 19, 2008 Sarah rated it 5 of 5 stars

This one of those books that really sticks with you - I kept thinking about it for a long time after I read it, even though I did find it a bit annoying in places. I didn't like Jane as much as I liked John, I thought she was a bit of a weirdo (and obviously a bit PROUD of being weird, like she obviously thought normal people were boring and stupid and were all secretly bored with their dull, ordinary lives). I enjoyed John's bits more, he told more interesting (and funnier) stories and describe...more

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About Steve Almond

Steve Almond is the author of two story collections, My Life in Heavy Metal and The Evil B.B. Chow, the non-fiction book Candyfreak, and the novel Which Brings Me to You, co-written with Julianna Baggott. He lives outside Boston with his wife and baby daughter Josephine.

More about Steve Almond...

Books by Steve Almond

Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

(Not That You Asked): Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions

Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life: A Book by and for the Fanatics Among Us

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Quotes from Which Brings Me to You

“I love men, the restlessness of their corrupted souls, the way they hide their heavy, murderous hearts, their sudden delicacies and small shocking acts of tenderness.” — 14 people liked it

“My own kind. I'm not sure there's a name for us. I suspect we're born this way: our hearts screwed in tight, already a little broken. We hate sentimentality and yet we're deeply sentimental. Low-grade Romantics. Tough but susceptible. Afflicted by parking lots, empty courtyards, nostalgic pop music. When we cried for no reason as babies, just hauled off and wailed, our parents seemed to know, instinctively, that it wasn't diaper rash or colic. It was something deeper that they couldn't find a comfort for, though the good ones tried mightily, shaking rattles like maniacs and singing, "Happy Birthday" a little louder than called for. We weren't morose little kids. We could be really happy.” — 12 people liked it

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