The Peacemaker: Handling Conflict Without Fighting Back or Running Away - Student Edition
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The Peacemaker: Handling Conflict Without Fighting Back or Running Away - Student Edition

4.19 of 5 stars 4.19  ·  rating details  ·  1,444 ratings  ·  103 reviews
Sooner or later, conflict will come. But how you handle it makes all the difference.

You might be dealing with a bully at school, parents who just won't see things your way, a coach who has it in for you, or some other conflict; it's a part of life you can't escape. The good news is that God cares about your struggles and gives you powerful truths in his Word. Practice his

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Published April 1st 2008 by Baker Publishing Group (first published October 1st 1990)
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Bob Price
Conflict is inevitable. You put two people in a room and you will get at least five different opinions on something and they will fight.

Ken Sande's book The Peacemaker is designed to help resolve conflict and be restored to one another. The concept may seem simple, and a lot of what Sande says is common sense, but it is still a book that should be required reading, especially in the church.

Sande's main point is that God hates conflict and that we should do whatever we can to resolve conflict....more
Matt
This is a truly useful book for any Christian not living in seclusion... Instead of another "Christian" book about conflict, with pithy admonitions to resolve it because of our faith, Sande creates a compilation of strategies to actually DO something. Chapters are basically lists, charts, and/or checklists with further explanation of each individual segment. That's not to say that Sande is absent from the book as a writer, in fact the personal stories that he shares give credibility to his theor...more
Giedra
Read with church group. I thought the ideas in this book were good--but most of them seemed obvious to me, and I could have done without all the "7 Keys to This" and "4 Ts of That."

However, despite my negative review, I would still recommend the book for someone looking for concrete ideas on how to work through conflict, particularly if you are someone who avoids conflict or if you anticipate that conflict could become uncivil to where reconciliation becomes that much more difficult to achieve.
Amanda R
A must read! Too many valuable and practical lessons to list here, but one that stands out is the description and practical explanation of forgiveness. I have spent many Sundays sitting in churches, and I have never heard a compelling and practical explanation of what it means to forgive and what that looks like, but I found it in this book.
Ray
The Peacemaker is the most helpful guide I have found to assist Christians in resolving conflict. It takes an uncommonly Biblical approach, leading one through a process designed to foster reconciliation, to God's glory. One is instructed in ways to "get the log out of your eye"; to "go and show your brother his faults," and to "go and be reconciled." These principles are applied to a variety of situations: third-party conciliation, forgiveness, confession, church discipline, self-examination, c...more
Anita
Jan 12, 2008 Anita rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone
By far this is one of the most practical and god centered books for biblical conflict resolution. The book is not just for people who have trouble with anger or who are in some sort of legal disagreement. Conflict is something we deal with every day because we basically all have different agendas. Often these agendas crash and people have to deal with this conflict. We can avoid it or the person, we can attack the person, or we can seek to work it out with the person and be truly biblical peacem...more
Josh Wilson
Ken Sande, The Peace Maker
In his book The Peace Maker Ken Sande introduces the church to the oft overlooked Biblical principles of conflict resolution and casts a vision of the radical impact these principles would have if the church actually took the Scriptural teaching on forgiveness and reconciliation seriously. Sande explains that although often Christians handle conflict no differently than unbelievers, conflict in fact provides great opportunities to glorify God in the process as our fait...more
Patricia
Conflicts are something we all face. The Peacemaker provides Biblical and practical solutions to conflict. Resolving conflicts in a Biblical manner can be a powerful testimony of God's love and grace in our lives. I appreciated how Ken Sande applies Biblical principles to conflict resolution in a very practical way. He shows when it is right to overlook an offense and when it isn't. Peacemaking is the key to unity within a church, family, or any relationship. Attempting to escape conflict by den...more
Rod Culbertson
An excellent book that assists in helping those who are involved in actual personal conflict or those who must lead in contexts (churches particularly) in which conflict inevitably arise. This book is a must read for pastors and seminary students (i.e. future pastors) and would help out individuals in their marriages as well. I would actually rate it higher that 4 stars but wasn't quite willing to rate it as a 5 star book (but it's close).
Shay
I do not believe there could be another book written on Biblical peacemaking. Ken Sande has written an astounding book and one that I will reference often for years to come. Whether your dealing with conflict in the home, the church, or your business, this book will help guide your heart back to Biblical principles which can turn every conflict into an opportunity to bring God glory and grow your faith. I can not recommend this book enough.
Brian
This book wasn't exactly what I expected when I bought it so it may color my review slightly. I was expecting it more to be how to handle with violent conflicts between individuals. That being said, I think that many of the principles laid out in this book could certainly be helpful in such a situation. Although, they would have to be applied in a quicker and more efficient manner.

In reality the book is mostly about resolving personal differences among people who know or are at least acquainted...more
Paul Sheldon
Good reworking of the original Peacemaker book. I worked through this book with a group of young teenagers. The illustrations in the book really help them to grasp how diverse conflicts can be, and how common they are. The book did seem to be a bit repetitive, but perhaps that was by design. Overall this is a very helpful resource for young people.
Edward Ramsbottom
Here is an excellent book on Christian counseling. It covers all aspects of counseling, from minor problems to major church related procedures. It also does a good job on relating Christians with unbelievers in their confrontations with each other. Very practical in showing ways to solve disputed matters with other people. Not only for the professional counselor but also for the layman with his neighbor.
Brett
Full of illustrations, scripture, and practical application, The Peacemaker offers the four "G's" of interpersonal reconciliation: Glorify God; Get the long out of your eye; Gently restore; Go and be reconciled. Sande's principles and applications are generally deeply rooted in both scripture and practical experience. However, Sande also enjoys dabbling in prooftexts, false analogies, and ill-reasoned arguments. Sande's approach to the contemporary church is often reactionary and his use of scri...more
Garry Geer
This stands in line with a lot of other CCEF material. I appreciated the author's desire to push the readers to some uncomfortable places in dealing with forgiveness. He clearly addresses that behavior must be confronted and changed, but forgiveness must also take place. He also outlined some solid practical advice through working through those small irritating conflicts around us. He states that there is a lot of work that goes into peacemaking, but that far more effort is wasted on engaging in...more
Melinda
An excellent book to read, although a difficult one. Each example brings personal examples to mind of how these basic Biblical principles have not always been the norm in my own life.

Interesting thoughts about "does peace mean we have unity in all things?", "how do you reconcile and balance passages where we are told to judge others by their fruits", etc.

It would be worthwhile to attend a Peacemaker event or Bible study, to further develop an understanding of what it really means to be a peacema...more
Shannon
Of the books I've read, this is by far the best on conflict resolution. Biblical foundations are apparant throughout, and study questions complete each chapter. I could spend a lot of time studying through this book and learning to apply it. It's not drowning in testimonies, but there are enough to convince the reader that the Bible's ways are worth trying. ;) Plenty of references lead a person back to the Bible so he doesn't have to take the Ken Sande's word for it. I would recommend this to an...more
Dan Curnutt
How do we as Christians handle conflict? Usually we handle it very poorly. Ken Sandes book is a great introduction into handling conflict in a Biblical manner. I believe that every Christian should read this book and seriously consider how to apply the principles to their lives.

I only wish that I had read this book thirty years ago. It would have changed the way that I handled lots of conflict situations. I can only say that I use to hurt others in the way I handled conflict. I trust that after...more
Dru
It was a compelling read. Really thought provoking, since it made me reflect on what kind of person, what kind of Christian I am. And I realized I had, what they say, a plank in my eye. Yet I'm quick to judge others? It was a really good reminder of that, and how to amend my actions as well my thoughts so I can better glorify God, even in conflicts.

I borrowed this book from a person who highly recommended it, and now I want to buy it so I can study it some more! I think everybody should read th...more
Isaac Barton
One of those pause the world, have everyone read it then get back to life and see what happens books.
Ellen
Cross-centered and practical and thorough. So hopeful and helpful.
Alexis Neal
An excellent resource, both for personal conflict resolution and for larger scale conflicts. Sande keeps the focus on the gospel, which he presents clearly throughout the book. His conflict resolution principles are solidly rooted in the gospel, and, quite frankly, make a lot of sense from a psychological perspective.

All too often, poor conflict resolution skills result in the accidental escalation of conflict. This book should be required reading for all married/engaged couples and all pastors...more
Jasonlylescampbell
This book is very helpful and the first of its kind I have come across. Thoroughly taking you through strategies of peace and the call we have in Christ to peace and reconciliation ... still I found it naive to just how complex conflict usually is and not entirely helpful in untangling that complexity ... it is a good medicine for learning to deal with things before they become intense and thorny and in that way a good read.

It would be much more difficult to apply in the midst of conflict (seem...more
Anita Byrne
I would give the content of this book 5 stars. Most of us either run from trouble or lash out and attack when there's conflict. This book explains how to make use of multiple tools of conflict management that don't sever relationships. I can't give the writing style 5 stars, however. Too wordy and long, too preachy. I found myself doing a lot of skimming. It helped to put the book down and get on their website. I also found podcasts that were really enlightening.
Brian
Extremely practical and easy to read conflict resolution and relationship restoration manual that I would recommend to Christians and non-Christians alike. It is essentially applied theology. Relationship is at the core of God's character and at the core of what it means to be human. We are very good at wrecking them but not very good at repairing them and building them up. Sande shows you how. I have read it twice and recommend it to friends regularly.
Brittany
I enjoyed the overall messages in this book, and loved the discussions with our church group relating to the topics. However, I felt that the book was poorly written, and written without much thought. Many examples seemed forced or trite -- sometimes it seems better to not provide example situations for every topic and let the reader think of their own encounters. I was also not a fan of the the many acronyms, steps, and cute alliteration lists.

Lorna
Honestly, I skimmed this book for the headlines, but I found several helpful pointers for increasing peace in my relationships. I took some notes and I look forward to putting these ideas into practice. If you are in the midst of a difficult conflict, this type of guide would be worth reading in detail. In lieu of that, we all can improve our conflict resolution skills and this book aids in doing so from a Biblical perspective.
Tamara
An excellent and extremely relevant book that covers conflict resolution over everything from small annoyances to legal cases. It's very practical and constantly references the Gospel of God's grace as our foundation for how we handle conflict. It is also laid out so it can be a good reference if you don't have time to read the whole book. The first chapter summarizes the book and was worth the price of the book by itself.
Frode
This book is excellent. The material is practical. What a great help for solving interpersonal relations that have gone awry. Sande and crew have helped settle issues from corporate law to marital squabbles and most everything in between. The principles outlined are wise and very helpful. I recommend the book and the DVD series that goes with it for small group study. You will be blessed and better equipped.
Mike
One of the best explorations of Biblical conflict resolution on the market. It is very Biblical and also very practical. I have been challenged by it as I work through conflicts in my own life. It's strength lies in dealing with your own contribution to the conflict before you talk to one who sinned against you. Getting the log out of your own eye first will help pave the way to reconcile the relationship.
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Kay Moore is a Pulitzer Prize nominee, a veteran newspaper journalist, and the author of three books, co-author of more than a dozen titles, and ghost author of more than 100 others. Her 20-year newspaper career included 14 years on the "Houston Chronicle" as well as being city editor of the "Plano Star Courier" and staff writer for United Press International. She was a senior editor at LifeWay Ch...more
More about Ken Sande...
Peacemaking for Families Peacemaker, The Resolving Everyday Conflict Peacefakers, Peacebreakers, and Peacemakers Member Book Résoudre les conflits quotidiens

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