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24th out of 25 books
—
6 voters
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk (How To Help Your Child)
by
Adele Faber
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The "Reminder" pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent...more
Published
(first published 1980)
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Should be subtitled, "Baby Boomer Parents Backlash Against Harsh Old-School Discipline." If you weren't the kind of parent to call your kids names or whup them one on the rear end in the first place, this book has little to offer you but either validation or frustration. I was looking for a book that would help me communicate better with my very stubborn 2.5 year old, and while the cartoons in this book were pretty entertaining, they didn't do much more but revisit the obvious. Don't live throug...more
16 likes · like · see review
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A friend, a previous yeller, recommended this book. I found it very helpful, especially since we just had our second child who had colic and the 6 year old and I were no longer communicating well.
It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.
For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed...more
It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.
For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed...more
13 likes · like · see review
Mar 25, 2009
Alexis
is currently reading it
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
homeschool-resource
I read this book about 5 years ago. At that time the boys were 3 and 1. I appreciated the book then, but absolutely adore this book today. This book was first published in 1982, but when it comes to parenting I think that the really good advice is timeless. In re-reading "How to talk..." I am discovering that many of the times when I am most effective/happy with myslelf as a mom I am using the principals that I read in Faber and Mazlish's wonderful work. The book is an extraordinarily valuable t...more
7 likes · like · see review
Oh dude this book is awesome! It's intended as a guide for parents and educators to help them communicate with kids, but instead I got my hands on it when I was about nine years old, and it helped me refine my own immature communication skills. A life-changing book for me, for all the wrong reasons.
It's more effective than a medical prescription!!
Very simple cards of instructins make you feel better about yourself and your child
It gave me the feeling that everyone can be perfect parent , but we have to keep it in mind :)
HAPPY READING
Very simple cards of instructins make you feel better about yourself and your child
It gave me the feeling that everyone can be perfect parent , but we have to keep it in mind :)
HAPPY READING
This book is a masterpiece. My ego allowed me to think that I knew children inside out. After all I knew how to clam them, how to discipline them and most of all how to have fun with them. So technically this was supposed to brush up my skills but like they say "enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment". I found that I didn't know nothing and I still have tonnes to learn. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or a babysitter, this book will help you understand children's emotions on a higher...more
1 like · like · see review
This book offers great, common sense advice. It focuses on communication between parents and children, something that is so essential to your relationship. The whole book is great, but I particularly like the cartoons which show you two alternative approaches to a conversation, one where parent and child are talking at each other and end up at odds, and the other where they are listening and responding and end up on the same side. Check out the 'turtle' cartoon - it's priceless.
I also loved its...more
I also loved its...more
Don't believe people reading on their Kindle in the métro are only 50-Shades types, they may simply hide that they are reading self-help or parenting books. I was actually quite ashamed of reading this one, which I got as a Daily Deal on Amazon. It turned out to have extremely ugly cartoons, commonsense principles ("it may not be that good an idea to hit your child") and relatively good advice. As the title suggests it's all about unprejudiced communication between parents and children. You may...more
Cute cartoon strips make it a non stressful read. A discussion on helping children talk through their problems to come to solutions. This treats interacting with children as an art form and is not a parenting book with hard and fast rules.
1 like · like · see review
Jun 11, 2008
Shauna
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Any parent
Recommended to Shauna by:
A child psychologist
I love this book! It was recommended to a room of teachers by a child psychologist who said that she recommends this book to any parent who walks through her door. I can see why. It is easy to read and understand. It uses common sense practices -but better help one to see them.
Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that respects th...more
Basically, when I employ these practices -we're a happier family. When I don't -I go re-read the book. This stuff even works on strangers kids. It's really about a way of looking at and talking to children that respects th...more
2 likes · like · see review
Oct 06, 2008
Sonya Feher
rated it
2 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
parenting,
nonfiction
Philosophically I agree with the discipline practices this book explains, but the examples with parents smacking their kids or labeling them with words like "greedy" felt so extreme that it was sometimes hard to read through it to get to what the authors advocated one should do. I did appreciate the tips pages on helping children deal with their feelings, engaging a child's cooperation, alternatives to punishment, and alternative to "no". The chapter on praise is one of the best explanations I'v...more
There is good advice in here if you don't already employ many of the suggestions herein. Since I already do, I didn't find it any sort of revelation. I read it in the hopes of finding a way to make my 4-year-old listen to me on the subject of "DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD, PARTICULARLY IN A CROWDED PLACE - IT IS NOT A GAME", but was disappointed to find no help on that front. I'm afraid "Sweetie, please don't run away - it makes us worried" and "How do YOU think we can help you to stop runnin...more
7 likes · like · see review
VERY applicable whether you're dealing with a 3-year-old, your spouse, your boss, or your 80-year-old neighbor. This is one of my most recommended books to families doing therapy.
I actually currently use parts of this in group therapy sessions to teach adolescents in a therapeutic boarding school how to handle family conflicts. And we do role-plays based on its comic-strip-style illustrations and draw application to their every-day lives. It's so successful, they want me to tell their therapists...more
I actually currently use parts of this in group therapy sessions to teach adolescents in a therapeutic boarding school how to handle family conflicts. And we do role-plays based on its comic-strip-style illustrations and draw application to their every-day lives. It's so successful, they want me to tell their therapists...more
This is a fantastic reference for anyone who spends time caring for children. The authors organized the book around common, positively-stated issues like “engaging cooperation” (as opposed to dealing with defiance) and “encouraging autonomy” (not cutting out the clingy behavior.) The reader is drawn into examples of situations kids commonly get into, and then asked how various kinds of responses would feel to them. This format encourages empathy on the part of the caregiver, allowing for more ca...more
1 like · like · see review
Although the title of the book seems to indicate that this is a book that teaches adults on how to communicate with kids, it is actually much more than that.
Inside this book, you'll find valuable lessons on how to improve your communication skills with people around you in general. Yes, the methods are suggested for kids, but that doesn't mean that it can be applied to adults as well! For example, one of the suggested methods to get kids to listen to you is to use "one-word" statement. Instead o...more
Inside this book, you'll find valuable lessons on how to improve your communication skills with people around you in general. Yes, the methods are suggested for kids, but that doesn't mean that it can be applied to adults as well! For example, one of the suggested methods to get kids to listen to you is to use "one-word" statement. Instead o...more
Apr 08, 2013
Elizabby
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
parenting-resources
This is a parenting book NOT JUST about how to talk and listen respectfully with your children. It is also about problem-solving together and ultimately about getting away from power struggles with your children. I admit, I bought it hoping for an "obedience manual" in how to get my children to do what I say. This book does that (kind of) but is much more than that as well.
The first section is on "engaging your child's cooperation" and before I was finished the first chapter I was trying out th...more
The first section is on "engaging your child's cooperation" and before I was finished the first chapter I was trying out th...more
I have three kids age’s seven to three. I always like learn new tools to put in my parenting tool box to help to work through the tough times of parenting. I had never heard of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, but the title intrigued me. I was excited to have the opportunity to review the book, and now that I have – I see it everywhere!
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish talk about the joys and stresses of raising their children, and different ideas for how to express you...more
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish talk about the joys and stresses of raising their children, and different ideas for how to express you...more
1 like · like · see review
There is a lot of solid communications advice in here. I don't actually talk to children very much, but I use what I learned here as often as I'm mindful of it, and it's kind of incredible to see what a difference it makes.
It's ironic and sad that the longer someone is in your life, and the more important to you they are, the easier it is to be brusque with them or blind to their needs. Children are potentially the most frequent recipients of this kind of treatment, but it happens to everyone a...more
It's ironic and sad that the longer someone is in your life, and the more important to you they are, the easier it is to be brusque with them or blind to their needs. Children are potentially the most frequent recipients of this kind of treatment, but it happens to everyone a...more
For me, parenting books are not so much a manual that you read before you interact with the product but a trouble-shooting guide you turn to when things aren't going well. And since things have not been going completely well around here lately with a certain seven-year-old, I turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk which, in addition to having the most annoyingly long title of any book ever, had appeared in several places in my realm in the last year or so, most no...more
My ol' stand by parenting reference... always keep on the shelf for easy reference. Words I live by basically. I LOVE the book and the authors' philosophies... Companion book Siblings Without Rivalry, makes for happy kids and happy parents. When I first read (when my kids were in preschool) I wanted to buy a case to leave in the vestibule to help spread the word... Its a great book because you can pick it up anywhere/anytime and find a little nugget of knowledge. It suggests parents meet kids "w...more
This book is officially the best parenting book I have read. I love it more than I liked Love & Logic. I'm a little overwhelmed at how many ideas I want to implement into the way I communicate with my family.
The writing style is clear, concise and well supported. I like the down to earth tone of the book. The authors offer plenty of suggestions, tips, techniques and examples of how to implement ideas without resorting to disrespectful, harmful or fear-based methods. Practical everyday parent...more
The writing style is clear, concise and well supported. I like the down to earth tone of the book. The authors offer plenty of suggestions, tips, techniques and examples of how to implement ideas without resorting to disrespectful, harmful or fear-based methods. Practical everyday parent...more
Read this. Reading it again. And again. And again.
A powerful tool. Recommended by my pediatrician to help us communicate more effectively with our ADHD twin boys. But this is a great resource for all children and their parents.
Quick and easy to read. Not too dry or preachy. Timeless advice.
Other reviews have suggested this book is for "REALLY bad" parents who don't have "a clue" how to speak to their children. Or that this book will teach you "emotionless parenting" and fails to address how and...more
A powerful tool. Recommended by my pediatrician to help us communicate more effectively with our ADHD twin boys. But this is a great resource for all children and their parents.
Quick and easy to read. Not too dry or preachy. Timeless advice.
Other reviews have suggested this book is for "REALLY bad" parents who don't have "a clue" how to speak to their children. Or that this book will teach you "emotionless parenting" and fails to address how and...more
I haven't even finished this book but I had to return it to the library (BOO) so I'm going to buy it. Becuase it's THAT good.
After reading the first two chapters I'm already hugely more aware of how I talk and listen to my children. Using the techniques in this book I have stopped tantrums before they could begin and have seen conversations with my kids miraculously changed.
I'm not even kidding.
I would recommend this book to anyone. We've even seen the principles work great with our three year...more
After reading the first two chapters I'm already hugely more aware of how I talk and listen to my children. Using the techniques in this book I have stopped tantrums before they could begin and have seen conversations with my kids miraculously changed.
I'm not even kidding.
I would recommend this book to anyone. We've even seen the principles work great with our three year...more
The parenting gems I've gleaned from my favorite parenting books (Playful Parenting, Parenting with Love and Logic, and heck, even The No Cry Discipline Solution) all appeared, 20 years earlier, in this great little book.
The authors present wonderful general principles-- which I appreciate in parenting books, rather than annoying little prescriptions. And they balance the generalities with really good concrete tips for applying their ideas. Give choices. Rephrase. Allow problem solving. Name em...more
The authors present wonderful general principles-- which I appreciate in parenting books, rather than annoying little prescriptions. And they balance the generalities with really good concrete tips for applying their ideas. Give choices. Rephrase. Allow problem solving. Name em...more
I'm rereading this. The first time I read it was back in Eugene when all the kids were little. Funny how differently it "reads" to me now.
I think it's a good book, with lots of tools for the novice parent. How to remark on a situation without blaming or threatening, how to forestall the need for punishment or use natural consequences, and so on. Even when I first read it as a new mom, probably because I had a decent upbringing myself, the examples of poor behavior seemed stretched and far out. M...more
I think it's a good book, with lots of tools for the novice parent. How to remark on a situation without blaming or threatening, how to forestall the need for punishment or use natural consequences, and so on. Even when I first read it as a new mom, probably because I had a decent upbringing myself, the examples of poor behavior seemed stretched and far out. M...more
I wasn't sure if this would be outdated and wishy-washy, but I found the advice to be straightforward, fresh and timeless. I mean, yes, I HAD figured out that it's better to validate kids' feelings than to "smack" them, thanks for the umpteenth reminder! But beyond that it clarified for me why some things I do work and others don't, and I've definitely come away with some simple and concrete strategies for getting kids to cooperate. For example, I'm looking forward to cutting down on the command...more
May 25, 2012
Beth (the one who is)
rated it
3 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
not-sure-about
The most I got from this book is, listen. Listen and talk often people do not talk to their kids. Are afraid to show their emotions and admit that they are only human.
I find that I am very guilty of these things. Language is important because children immolate their environment. If the children only hear yelling in their household , then they in turn yell.
I have a three and a half year old son. He has some speech problems and goes to speech therapy. He also has a syndrome called De George o...more
I find that I am very guilty of these things. Language is important because children immolate their environment. If the children only hear yelling in their household , then they in turn yell.
I have a three and a half year old son. He has some speech problems and goes to speech therapy. He also has a syndrome called De George o...more
I think this is a really great book on how we can better our relationships with our kids. We actually read this book in our neighborhood book club and it was nice to get together and talk about ways that this book can meet our individual needs with our kids but also share advice from experiences we've gone through. I don't think Colton is quite old enough to implement everything talked about in this book but it has great ideas on things we can start doing now to just get into the habit. For exam...more
I don't have children but I like this sort of thing so I read it. (Maybe I will someday and it has always been my dream to take in foster children.) I loved it!! A lot of the frustrating things about childhood came back to me, "Oh, you're just tired." or, "Put on a sweater. ... I don't care that you say you aren't cold, I am cold!!" On one hand, the concepts of this book seemed so simple I wondered if I really needed to be reading it. After all, there's no way I would ever tell a child, you are...more
Oct 27, 2010
Amber
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Anyone who has or works with children!!!
I wish I had read this book before having children. There are so many amazing tips in here, that my head is still spinning! I've always loved being a mom, but have felt at somewhat of a loss over how to deal with meltdowns, talking back, and being ignored. Even though I usually think parenting books are corny, I decided to give this one a try - it had been an especially trying day and it was like a beacon of light was shining down on it. I read half the book the first night, immediately put the...more
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.
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“I was a wonderful parent before I had children.”
—
17 people liked it
“نذرف الدموع أنا و أمي عندما تستحضر في ذهنها كيف كانت تحادثنا عندما كنا أطفالا، تقول: حينما أسمعك تتكلمين مع ابنك أخجل كيف كانت تحادثنا عندما كنا أطفالا."
(إحدى الرسائل التي أرسلها الآباء الذين استفادوا من الكتاب)”
—
1 person liked it
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(إحدى الرسائل التي أرسلها الآباء الذين استفادوا من الكتاب)”
