The Highly Sensitive Person

Oct 15, 2012 Ingrid George rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

It's a godsend. So nice to know why I am the way I am after a lifetime of "loved ones" telling me I needed to be less shy, have more confidence (that's real doable when someone constantly criticizes your inborn characteristics), be more outgoing, worry less, am too thin-skinned, take everything personally (duh, I do take it personally when I'm being attacked), and my favorite, "You are just like your father!". I am just like my father, it's an inherited trait and he's one of my favorite people....more

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Feb 18, 2013 Di rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: health, medical-anthropology, nonfiction

I have mixed opinions about this book. On the one hand, I found it helpful in explaining that highly sensitive people are more susceptible to stimulation (e.g., from loud noise, bright lights, strong odors, large crowds, etc.) than most and therefore need to be aware of how to properly balance everyday needs in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed. It is also beneficial in the way that it reassures HSPs that they are not alone but that approximately 15-20% of the population shares this trait, and...more

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Jun 30, 2008 Amy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Amy by: Ron and Karen B

Shelves: non-fiction

This, for me, was an amazing book. I will be reading it again eventually, just to remind myself of all the important information that Aron researched and now shares with readers. It has taken me roughly 30 years to learn many things about myself which are clearly explained by Aron's research. I feel more confident about expressing my needs, now that I know I'm not the only one, and now that I have been reminded about the strengths which balance out my weaknesses.

I am definitely a "highly sensiti...more

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Aug 10, 2011 ~☆ Alice☆~ rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: brilliant-insights, everyone-should-read, to-read-over-and-over

A new friend with CFIDS advised me to read this in 1999..so finally I am getting to it and learning so much. I already knew I had this and I have never felt bad about it much altho our culture really looks down on it and you are supposed to tremble and cower for being different. The best places for the highly sensitive are China where it is prized and also I think I read Iceland. The worst place for being HS is overly macho is Canada. The highly sensitive cannot drink coffee but I can so I am be...more

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May 07, 2010 Kirsten rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: from-library, mental-health, non-fiction

Ok, I finished it.

First the good: Aron is at her best when she is helping the reader assess real world challenges and come up with concrete solutions. What do you do when your job overwhelms you? How do you work it out with your spouse or friends when activities they find exciting just overwhelm and overstimulate you? That's good stuff, and I think if you're aware that your personal tendencies are causing you to be stuck in unpleasant or untenable situations, this is definitely a helpful book. I...more

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Jan 23, 2013 Hanne rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, shelf-a-ton-14

I discovered Aron's work and her book through reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. In Quiet, Susan Cain talks about Hypersensitivity in a very positive and realistic way I recognized myself in, and it made me want to read this book to learn even more.

Unfortunately, in this book, I don't always recognize myself. In fact i think Susan Cain did a better job describing Hypersensitivity than Aron did, which is ironic of course. I like the general work that Aron d...more

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Jul 03, 2008 Cindy rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book helped me realize what I had already suspected.....I was in fact a highly sensitive person. And more importantly....it was ok.....for I had good reason for being that way.

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May 21, 2011 Mary rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I actually found this book to be very helpful. The author/psychologist coined the phrase "highly sensitive person"(or "HSP") admittedly in reference to herself and to those whom she has found in her 5 years of research to make up approximately 20% of the human population. Highly sensitive people share many of the same attributes: They are most often introverted (not necessarily “shy”) turning inward for strength and rejuvenation. They are typically highly intelligent, very creative, compassionat...more I actually found this book to be very helpful. The author/psychologist coined the phrase "highly sensitive person"(or "HSP") admittedly in reference to herself and to those whom she has found in her 5 years of research to make up approximately 20% of the human population. Highly sensitive people share many of the same attributes: They are most often introverted (not necessarily “shy”) turning inward for strength and rejuvenation. They are typically highly intelligent, very creative, compassionate, spiritual, and are deeply affected by the arts. They are sensitive many things both internally and externally that most in the general population overlook, such as slight changes in a room, and the moods of others. They are also very easily over-aroused by various forms of external stimuli (excess noise, chaos, too many people, bright lights, etc) often needing to retreat from the stimuli in order to regain their sanity. (In fact the majority of the book centers on coping with over-arousal, the HSP Achilles' heel). HSP's tend to fall in love hard and form strong attachments to certain individuals, and are significantly affected by traumatic events in their childhoods. Other hallmark traits of HSP's are that they form very close friendships, often have problematic relationships with doctors (who, in order to survive med school, tend to not relate to the highly sensitive), are valued in their vocation for integrity and work ethic, but are not good self-promoters. They often don't do well with transition and change.

These extremely sensitive individuals are not "flawed," as our non-HSP counterparts may lead us to believe (personally, although my sensitivity has challenged me, I don't share the author's defensive viewpoint that I am under-valued because of it). According to the author, Western and Indo-European societies tend to under-value many HSP attributes such as introversion, but HSP's are actually important contributors to a balanced civilization, acting as the advisors, judges, and spiritual leaders to the population majority's "warrior king" tendency to fearlessly expand and conquer. The HSP tendency to "pause and check" is the cautious counterpoint that keeps civilizations in tact.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who thinks they fall under the category of a highly sensitive person. I picked it up because it was recommended to me and although I was a little skeptical because it was one author's research and perspective, I was floored by how much of what she described fit my personality completely - in fact, not only me, but a few of my family members as well (extreme sensitivity is an inherited genetic trait). Aron writes in a manner that helps the HSP not only to cope with, but to celebrate their unique qualities. Society needs a select group of individuals who are creative, docile, and spiritually in tune to effectively function. In some cultures such as China, the HSP personality is the most highly-valued.

Aron repeatedly quotes Carl Jung, an early psychotherapist and (according to her) a fellow HSP, to help with the HSP condition. The chapters of the book focus on HSP’s and realms of everyday life such as in vocation, social relationships, intimate relationships, and vocation. I found the chapters on physical treatment particularly helpful (medications such as SSRI's or anti-anxiety meds may be helpful for HSP's both in the short or long term, but aren't necessarily a good fit for everyone. It should also be pointed out that some of her conclusions about SSRI's may be outdated as more research has been done since this book's publication in '96). My favorite chapter was the final chapter, which focuses on the HSP's tie to the spiritual realm. It was actually very practical, citing examples about how HSP's, religious and non- religious alike, tend to look inward and seek for explanations beyond what can be explained by science.
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Jun 30, 2012 John rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: mental-health

I gave this book, which seems to have built quite a following, a try as I have been identified by myself and others, including professional therapists, as falling into the category of having social anxiety and a high level of sensitivity. The test at the start of the book gave me high score for being what the author describes as an "HSP", so naturally I was eager to read on.

What I was expecting from a self help book of this type was an offering of practical techniques & coping methods. What...more I gave this book, which seems to have built quite a following, a try as I have been identified by myself and others, including professional therapists, as falling into the category of having social anxiety and a high level of sensitivity. The test at the start of the book gave me high score for being what the author describes as an "HSP", so naturally I was eager to read on.

What I was expecting from a self help book of this type was an offering of practical techniques & coping methods. What I got was a long-winded lecture on self-validation. At times her analysis is confusing. Explaining how "non-HSP"s just cannot possibly understand the way in which "HSP"s work and live and no matter how hard you try, they will not, and then later stating that in situations of "over-arousal" simply state that you are highly sensitive to external stimuli and everything will become less awkward? I don't know, at times some practical sense drips through the prose which is workable and possible to bring into real life situations, but the tone and the expression of the language is off-putting in the extreme. I don't need constant patronising pats on the back. Prose which aims to replicate a friendly, personal voice is difficult to achieve well, if it is even possible, and Aron doesn't quite manage it. Anecdotes give some interesting case issues, but more often than not the insights repeat themselves and on the whole don't offer a lot more than what I'd naturally mused upon beforehand. I would have liked to have seen an expansion on what she actually means with this supposed personality type with the use of scientific models, and how it relates to other models such as social phobia/anxiety, which she dismisses simply due to "negative connotations", rather than presenting rather rigid and vague "them vs. us" categorisations. The book is concerned with bland marketing of popular psychology rather than attempting a genuine redefinition of mental health.

The last two chapters give an overly one-sided criticism of antidepressant dependency before descending into new age waffle. Her final sentiment that atheists are insensitive "warrior-kings" who are "scared of the soul/spirit life" is very disappointing, ignorant and just plain imbecilic. Presenting subgroups of people as if they should naturally have the same set worldview and beliefs is wantonly alienating in a book supposedly written to ease alienation. Rigid positions over constructed personality types like this are becoming quite prominent in psychology, it is annoying and a little disturbing.

For a practical and workable guide to living with these issues I’d recommend searching out for a good book on CBT.(less)

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Nov 11, 2008 Connie added it

Shelves: psychology

I'm not really sure how to rate this book (so I won't in terms of a star rating). It's not really what I expected. It’s more of how to get over the stigmatism of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) which, personally, I've already done. Where the book sort of let me down is that there are a lot of medical reasons---not just depression (which the author does go into in medical terms)--- that can cause someone to be HS. A few that I know (because I have them) are:

*Pernicious Anemia – some symptom...more

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Apr 23, 2008 Jim rated it 3 of 5 stars

Aron suggests that what we call shyness and fearfulness is really just a state of neurological over-stimulation caused by high sensitivity to surroundings. This high sensitivity is inborn and has many positive aspects such as increased intuition, empathy and creativity. Highly Sensitive People can learn strategies for dealing with over-stimulation, and they do best when they appreciate their unique sensitivity and take care of their sensitive mind/body by giving it plenty of rest and down time f...more

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Mar 25, 2013 Rachel rated it 3 of 5 stars

"Our culture has an idea of competition in the pursuit of excellence that can make anyone not striving to the top feel like a worthless, non-productive bystander."(p.52)

"(Joseph Campbell) would exhort students struggling with their vocation to 'follow your bliss.' He always made it clear that he didn’t mean doing whatever is easy or fun at the moment; he meant engaging in work that feels right, that calls you. To have such work (and if we are very fortunate, to be paid for it, too) is one of lif...more "Our culture has an idea of competition in the pursuit of excellence that can make anyone not striving to the top feel like a worthless, non-productive bystander."(p.52)

"(Joseph Campbell) would exhort students struggling with their vocation to 'follow your bliss.' He always made it clear that he didn’t mean doing whatever is easy or fun at the moment; he meant engaging in work that feels right, that calls you. To have such work (and if we are very fortunate, to be paid for it, too) is one of life’s greatest blessings."(p.118)

"...normally we artists work alone, refining our craft and our subtle creative vision. But withdrawal of any kind increases our sensitivity- that is part of why one withdraws. So we are extrasensitive when the time comes to show our work, perform it, explain it, sell it, read reviews of it, and accept rejection or acclaim. Then there’s a sense of loss and confusion when a major work is done or a performance is over. The stream of ideas surging up from the unconscious no longer has an outlet. Artists are more skilled at encouraging that force than understanding its sources or its impact if acted upon."(p.125)

"...we have to watch that side of us that wants to be introverted, to protect ourselves. Often, we find ourselves in the following sort of dance:
First we want to be close, so we give all the signs that invite closeness. Then someone responds. They want to see more of us, get to know us, maybe touch us. Then we back off. The other person backs off, too. We feel alone and put out the signs again. That person or another one tries again. We are so glad-for a while. Then we feel overwhelmed.
Step forward, step back, step forward, step back, until you are both tired of the dance."(p.149-150)

"Another reason for sticking to feelings is that out in the world they are rarely heard. We want them to be honored, at least in close relationships. And feelings are deeper than ideas and facts in that they often color, control, and confuse the ideas and facts. Once the feelings are clear, the ideas and facts are clearer, too."(p.159)
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Feb 16, 2013 Twilight rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: psychology, introvert, shyness, sensitive

Thoroughly disappointed. As I identify as an introvert, I have become increasingly suspicious that I might be high sensitive (or a HSP) as well.

I felt the book went too much into repeating how different people are HSPs are so at different points of their lives (childhood, adulthood, etc.). I get it already. I had hoped there would be more about how to cope and what HSPs can do.

Others have already gone over the issues in the book, but one part that particularly bothered me and turned me off for...more Thoroughly disappointed. As I identify as an introvert, I have become increasingly suspicious that I might be high sensitive (or a HSP) as well.

I felt the book went too much into repeating how different people are HSPs are so at different points of their lives (childhood, adulthood, etc.). I get it already. I had hoped there would be more about how to cope and what HSPs can do.

Others have already gone over the issues in the book, but one part that particularly bothered me and turned me off for the rest of the book is one of the early quizzes about being out vs. in. As someone else mentions, the formatting of the book is not conducive for clear organization. This particular quiz (in my version) comes in the middle of the section that she recommends people to read. I'm not sure if that is an editor decision, but I was annoyed that the quiz was not placed before the section, as I flipped through the pages after to find the section she recommended.

I also take severe issue with the quiz itself. It specifically refers to being "in" or "out" and whether the quiz taker leans too far in one direction or another. According to this quiz I am just on the cusp of being inside too much. But the wording of the question or her decision of how to score it is problematic. I do not see the issue of spending most of my time inside or alone, nor do I see a problem with stopping with my activity if I feel a little too overwhelmed to continue and need a break. Being out more often won't help me be happier or somehow make me less sensitive.

As another reviewer notes, the author discusses a woman who had a history of abuse and assault who finally started her artistic career after ending an abusive marriage. Aron does not note if the woman received therapy or other steps she might have taken and seems to imply that the woman was somehow "blocked" from her artistic abilities. That situation probably had less to do with sensitivity and more about healing from her past.

As yet another reviewer notes, Aron does get into New Age and religion. I won't deny that it probably helps many HSPs in their daily lives, but it went a little too far for me and I definitely just wanted the book to end.

It's unfortunately because it seems Aron is a leading figure when discussing HSPs and I had been very much looking forward to this book. I had also been considering buying the workbook that goes with this, but it looks like I'll be skipping this and any other works by this author.(less)

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Jan 08, 2013 Krysten Watson rated it 5 of 5 stars

Once I got past the title and understood why Dr. Aron uses the phrase HSP, I was on much better terms with the book. In fact, it was quite a relief to read about my own personality, which is often quietly and unobtrusively at odds with modern American culture, from a rather clinical, yet entirely compassionate, point of view. After leaving for college, I discovered a real appreciation for my parents and after reading this book, even more so. I was brought up in a quiet environment that nurtured...more

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Oct 07, 2012 Will Lees rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book describes me very well. If felt that finally there was a book and a name for the cluster of many of my traits. A friend in the medical field said that this book describes a personality profile, not a particular diagnosis. However through the author's evidence she shows that sensitivity is a distinct trait, not a side-effect or problem. After reading this book, I was much more comfortable describing what works for me because I fit being a highly sensitive person.

The book says "we are 15...more This book describes me very well. If felt that finally there was a book and a name for the cluster of many of my traits. A friend in the medical field said that this book describes a personality profile, not a particular diagnosis. However through the author's evidence she shows that sensitivity is a distinct trait, not a side-effect or problem. After reading this book, I was much more comfortable describing what works for me because I fit being a highly sensitive person.

The book says "we are 15 to 20 percent of the population...highly sensitive people are real, we exist...its about a hundred thousand people finally finding themselves in this book...the secret trait that you have thought of as a flaw all your life is a flaw no longer." (p. ix)

The book offers a simple true/false self-test that can also be found here: http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm
I found myself answering yes to many of them. But more than that, the list itself helped validate that there was a condition at work, that it wasn't just my subjective inadequacies that caused me to experience life as challenging, difficult and different.

What I like about the book is that it is useful: it provides useful tools like tests, mental models, problem-solution pairs, and appendices for handling special situations.

I found one of the mental model tools to be novel, insightful and downright strange. Chapter 3 introduces the notion of the "infant/body self". The idea is that you see yourself as your mental self operating your body-self, where your body-self operates at the level of an infant, with the limits, behaviors, needs, and external dependency that an infant has. Those who have cared for an infant knows they don't feed and clothe themselves, don't tell you what they need, but experience through direct pain and emotion. I find it a surprisingly accurate model for me: how many times have I not noticed that was hungry, not noticed that I was in pain, not thought that I should get out of the sun or protect myself, not realized I was irritable when I was cranky, or didn't know better when overstimulation left me a mess. I guess in a 'normal' person the self-body has more automatic housekeeping and defensive behaviors and has an integrated ability to know itself.

Another tool of explanatory power is the idea of attachment. How comfortable and how connecting a child becomes, is determined in part by their relationship to their caregiver at an early age. (p. 44) One kind of attachment, insecure, happens when the caretaker is preoccupied or vulnerable, and the child becomes anxious and preoccupied with their attachment. Another kind of attachment is called avoidant, where the caretaker is dangerous or values a child who is minimal trouble, and the child may want to disappear or die, becoming indifferent with respect to their attachment. The observation, then, is that people who as children had an non-secure attachment didn't learn to respond to new experience in a safe and slow way: instead new experience is perceived as a threat needing long-term arousal.

In terms of learning to balance our engagement in the world, the author offers two independent scales: the problem of being 'in too much' (self-test p. 50) and being 'too out' in the world (test p.52).

I can't say it better than this advice given on p.54

"You need to learn all about this sensitivity. It will be an obstacle or an excuse only if you allow it to be. For myself, when I am too withdrawn, I would like to stay home for the rest of my life. But it is self-destructive. So I go out to meet the rest of the world, then come back to incorporate them. Creative people need time without people. But they can't go too long. When you retreat, you loose your sense of reality, your adaptability...."

Two other life skills that I took away are: including and allowing for rest and recuperation time, and being aware of being patient with yourself. It is surprising to me that being a highly sensitive person makes it hard to treat ourselves sensitively.

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Sep 17, 2012 Katie rated it 2 of 5 stars

There appears to be a growing interest in what it is to be shy, or an introvert, or a highly sensitive person. (All three are distinctly different traits, although they can, and do, overlap). This is an interesting book on what it is to be “highly sensitive”. A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has sensory receptors turned on ‘high’. Sights, sounds, physical sensations, moods, and intuition are felt louder or deeper. HSP’s can get frazzled, distressed, and unnerved as a result.

The author, Elaine Aro...more

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Aug 22, 2012 Charles rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: psychology

Nothing groundbreaking here, really. Sure, Aron validates introverted approaches and sensitive nervous systems, but the scientific research she presents on this subject is very limited; Aron's own research is limited to questionnaires and self-assessment tools, and she does not cite any biologically-oriented studies in her book, which makes her premise fairly weak. At its worst, this book delves into wishy-washy New Age spirituality that borders on endorsing psychosis (spirit guides and aliens?...more

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Aug 19, 2012 Ben Payne rated it 3 of 5 stars

"Sensitive" is a word that usually sounds derogatory or pompous. But in this book Elaine Aron goes about claiming it back as a way of defining people with certain character traits. Her analysis is rooted in Jungian analysis, and I found at times she pushed her barrow a little hard; a lot of the latter chapters where she compares methods of dealing with sensitivity came off highly slanted. And as someone who had a pretty good childhood I found the focus on early years a little overdone.

However th...more

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Feb 06, 2012 Catherine rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is the only source I've found that so clearly separates the "Highly Sensitive" trait from simply being an introvert (which I am not). This book helped me understand my own personality in a way I've been looking for since I was little. I feel empowered by this new knowledge, and more able to adapt and adjust to be a happier person, partner and human.
The only reason I gave this 4 stars and not 5 is because I think the author may lose readers when going in depth into subjects like psychotherap...more

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Jul 29, 2011 Shélah rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: americana, female-authors, non-fiction

I probably didn't like this mostly because it's self-help and I was just trying to get some concept of how to explain myself to other people... but way too much in the way of 'you thought there was something wrong with you, but there isn't!' Seriously, as an introverted person, don't you think most of us (70%) would be able to deduce what it is that makes us different (especially when many of us are also gifted)? Even with a rather tormented adolescence, I never thought there was anything 'wrong...more

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Feb 12, 2011 Tripleguess rated it 3 of 5 stars

With a box full of books to read and only so much spare time, I've implemented a new rule of thumb; generally, if the book doesn't hook me by the first few chapters, I stop reading it and try the next one. I am a fast reader, so I don't feel I am asking too much of a book to keep me interested for twenty minutes.

This title kept me engaged for about one third of the book. After that I started skimming, and when I had to force myself to keep going I said "Hey, what's up with that, I might as well...more

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Jul 10, 2010 Meg rated it 3 of 5 stars

3 stars because I found reading this book to be tremendously validating and meaningful, but at the same time I had a lot of criticisms of it. This book describes that percentage of the population whose systems are easily (over)stimulated by sensory information. Wow, do I wish someone had given me this book to read, like, 10 years ago.

The criticisms:
- Wanted more specific techniques and suggestions.

- She's really into how Highly Sensitive People are super important to society and we should all fe...more

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Apr 20, 2010 Ruth rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: other-nonfiction

If you have ever felt like life is too overwhelming and all you want to do is crawl into a cave and hide away from it all, this book might be for you.

This book contains a little too much psychobabble for my taste (too much talk about parenting your inner infant and other wonderful stuff like that - without all of that I would have given it five stars) but I am glad I read it because I finally understand why I am so weird. Now I know why I can be such an introvert even though I love being around...more If you have ever felt like life is too overwhelming and all you want to do is crawl into a cave and hide away from it all, this book might be for you.

This book contains a little too much psychobabble for my taste (too much talk about parenting your inner infant and other wonderful stuff like that - without all of that I would have given it five stars) but I am glad I read it because I finally understand why I am so weird. Now I know why I can be such an introvert even though I love being around people, why I can't handle people playing with my hair, why I can't remember people's names when I meet them for the first time, why I have such a low tolerance for alcohol, caffeine, and most medications, why I can't stand wearing wool scarves, why I startle so easily.....and many more traits that I thought were just part of my personality - mental quirks that I've developed over the years. Now I know that all of my weirdness is genetic and I'm pretty sure I lovingly passed it onto my oldest child.

The theory is basic: some people (approximately 15 percent) are born with nervous systems that are just more sensitive than average. These people notice, take in, and need time to process EVERYTHING: small details in rooms, people's moods, whether someone or something is touching them, how things smell, how foods they eat make them feel, small noises, the feel of the wind on their cheek, the look someone gave them from across the room, the slight tickly feeling in their throat, etc. Their nervous systems are constantly alerting them to new things, which can be overwhelming after a while. These people need down time, peace and quiet to recover from being around people, doing fun or exciting things, going somewhere loud, even interacting with their immediate family if it involves an activity where there is a lot to process. They need this down time even if these are fun activities that they look forward to and enjoy immensely! They also experience more physical symptoms of stress - their bodies react more to everything from what they eat or drink to what they are thinking about to demands placed on them by other people or their jobs.

Highly sensitive people are prone to anxiety and depression, partially because they are a minority in a world populated mostly with people who aren't quite so sensitive and don't understand why they have a hard time handling the normal demands of life or always seem stressed or unsocial. It can be easy to feel like you are falling short when you are constantly needing to "take a break" or "get some air" or "have some alone time," etc. or when you would rather be by yourself than hanging out with your loved ones. Highly sensitive types pick up on these differences, these nuances, even more than the average person would and take them to heart. There can be a deep feeling of not doing or being enough, or of being high-maintenance or having "issues."

The main advice in the book is to realize that if you happen to be a highly sensitive person, it is part of your genetic makeup and you shouldn't feel like you are less of a person because of it. In fact, most highly sensitive people are smart, thoughtful, and introspective - they have lots of thoughts and they have deep thoughts. So, be proud of your inner sensitivity! Also, realize your limits and plan your life accordingly. If you are going out on Friday night, especially if it is a new or fast-paced, busy experience, fill your Saturday with relaxing activities because you will probably need time to be quiet, rest, and just think and.... be.

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Feb 13, 2010 Chrystal rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: self-help-psychology

This book is really fascinating to me. I don't agree with everything she wrote (who ever agrees with everything they read?), but I think it was very insightful and really resonated with me. The main thing I liked was the acceptance and celebration of differences people have (sensitivity to light, fabric, sound, smell, moods, environment, the arts, time pressure, mistakes etc.) and her different view of 'shyness' vs. 'awareness and pausing to check'. I also related to the 'HSP' having a deep 'inn...more

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Jan 14, 2013 Danielle Redz rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, realistic

Sigh... I hate when I have to bash books, but this one just didn't do anything for me. My mom recommended I read it because she was convinced I was highly sensitive- I do too.

I had a handful of problems, but before I get into them let me just say that some of the things said in this book was interesting and I can't say I didn't learn anything. You know what they say: Knowledge is power. I don't regret reading this book either, in some ways I'm glad I did.

Practically, the book wasn't easy to get...more

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Mar 04, 2008 Cindy rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Those learning about people

Ever wonder why some people perceive almost everything while others seem oblivious? Ever wonder why some folks seem overwhelmed at times while others see to manage through those markets and crowds without a care? Ever wonder why some are told they are just too sensitive, which makes them distance themselves from others?

If you do, this book will help answer those questions about the 10-20% of our population that has the unique gift or curse of being Highly Sensitive People.

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Apr 03, 2013 Laura Cowan rated it 5 of 5 stars

With the exception of the number of references to Jungian psychology (a narrow perspective), this book is absolutely a treasure for those who have always felt that their sensitivity is a flaw, or that there's something wrong with them for not fitting into the way everyone expects them to be. I have known about this trait in myself for a long time (and unfortunately viewed it partly as a weakness for many years), but I still learned a lot about how pervasive this trait is in affecting my life, fo...more

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Dec 01, 2008 Joel rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: psychology

Aron has caught on to the fact that some of us are more susceptible to stimulation than others. Rather than use standard medical terminologies such as obsessive compulsion, depression, or bipolar disorder, she calls people afflicted/blessed with this frame of mind "Highly Sensitive Persons" or HSPs.

Aron probes the personality of that 10 to 20% of persons who are especially sensitive to stimula. She offers a checklist of characteristics that might indicate that you are highly sensitive including...more Aron has caught on to the fact that some of us are more susceptible to stimulation than others. Rather than use standard medical terminologies such as obsessive compulsion, depression, or bipolar disorder, she calls people afflicted/blessed with this frame of mind "Highly Sensitive Persons" or HSPs.

Aron probes the personality of that 10 to 20% of persons who are especially sensitive to stimula. She offers a checklist of characteristics that might indicate that you are highly sensitive including awareness of subtleties in your environment, being easily startled, having a rich inner life, being moved by the arts and music, and being sensitive to things like bright lights, loud noises, and caffeine.

Why is it, she asks, that HSPs are revered in China but at the bottom of their classes in Canada? It's a matter of culture, she insists. And her job is to help HSPs see their promise as persons in a civilization that holds the warrior to be of greater value than the scientist.

You're a complicated being, she insists, and you should not reduce yourself to genes and systems. Here I think she has a valid point. Too often we who suffer from depression and bipolar disorder identify ourselves as our disease. If we see our destiny as hard-wired, there's not a lot we can do for ourselves. We become little more than lab rats, testing one medication after another because the results aren't perfect. We may decide that the aim of our therapy is to numb ourselves to all pain -- a goal that we may be surprised to find is not shared by our psychiatrist or therapist.

On the other hand, Aron is a tad too suspicious of medications, especially SSRIs such as Prozac. She believes that there may be a doctor's culture which seems any kind of sensitivity as being a bad thing.

I would remind her that most of us turned to doctors because the world leaned on us too hard, that being totally open and free not only got us in trouble but hurt - bad.

Still, there are things about this book that make it a worthwhile read for those of us suffering from mood disorders. The world does often stimulate us beyond our sensitivities and we need to take steps to lessen that effect. Aron points out that medications need to be seen as a safety net to keep us from going too high or too low. In no way should we see them as the way to introduce dramatic changes in our personality. Drugs or no drugs, we have an obligation to understand ourselves and to take steps to fulfill our promise as persons.
- Joel(less)

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Sep 25, 2012 Alyssa rated it 5 of 5 stars

I don't think I've ever read a nonfiction book I agree with wholeheartedly, and that's certainly the case here. However this is a great text for those who understand that they don't fit into the social box that is currently popular.

There is a bit of fluff at the beginning, which is actually strange, to be honest. It actually doesn't seem to fit with the tone of the remainder of the work at all. If a reader can skim that portion and pick up the general idea without feeling the need to buy into t...more

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Aug 29, 2009 Paul Dubuc rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: psychology, depression, spirituality

I'm not very keen on popular psychology and self-help books. But it was interesting to find book written about a character of people into which I fit very well. I never knew there was such a group before.

I've found some things in this book that don't fit me specifically (and a few things I don't like), but I score very high on the self-test on page xvii and many parts of the book describe my personality very well. The book goes a long way in helping the reader understand what makes sensitive peo...more I'm not very keen on popular psychology and self-help books. But it was interesting to find book written about a character of people into which I fit very well. I never knew there was such a group before.

I've found some things in this book that don't fit me specifically (and a few things I don't like), but I score very high on the self-test on page xvii and many parts of the book describe my personality very well. The book goes a long way in helping the reader understand what makes sensitive people tick and in dispelling the negative stereotypes of "shy" or "introverted" people. If you are an "HSP", the book will help you live with yourself, understand your limitations and value your uncommon abilities. If you're not the sensitive type, you may find in this book a tremendous help in understanding such people.

Not all of the book was helpful for me. The first two chapters, describing the trait of an HSP, were very interesting and convinced me that I belong in this category of personality. Chapters three and four, however, did not interest me very much. The idea of managing the reactions of one's body to worldly stimuli as if you were caring for an infant seems a bit strained to me. I also have no desire to "reparent myself". Thankfully, my own parents did a good enough job of that the first time. I don't want to spend a large part of my life trying to repair any mistakes that may have been made back there, but I do believe that certain forms of reflection on one's past problems can bring significant healing. I've found God to be a good father to me now, and I have two great kids on which I want to spend all of my fathering energies.

Chapter six, on "Thriving at Work", was probably the most helpful since I have a strong desire to do creative, meaningful and productive work. Yet it's also the place where most conflicts arise. When I read the page of "Tips for Employers of Highly Sensitive People" at the end of the book, it seemed to describe the ideal work environment for me.

The chapter on medications (nine) was interesting for the insight it gave on how antidepressants work. (HSPs seem especially prone to depression.) I think Dr. Aron's perspective on their use as a last resort or short-term measure is very sensible.

I was also very interested in the last chapter on spirituality, but found it disappointing for its lack of depth. Its main observation is that HSPs tend to place more importance on spirituality than others, but we're a mixed bag when it comes to the forms that takes (as would be expected). Dr. Aron is a Jungian Psychologist and spirituality is taken seriously by that discipline. Yet the things I have heard and read about the nature and practice of Jung's spirituality disturb me a bit. Not that Dr. Aron is advocating a particular form of spirituality. In line with the opinion of most of her profession, hers seems to be that anything that helps is good. (less)

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