The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

3.96 of 5 stars 3.96 · rating details · 417 ratings · 78 reviews

The bestselling author and psychologist whose books have topped 240,000 copies in print now addresses the trait of “high sensitivity” in children–and offers a breakthrough parenting guidebook for highly sensitive children and their caregivers.

With the publication of The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron became the first person to identify the inborn trait of “high sens...more The bestselling author and psychologist whose books have topped 240,000 copies in print now addresses the trait of “high sensitivity” in children–and offers a breakthrough parenting guidebook for highly sensitive children and their caregivers.

With the publication of The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron became the first person to identify the inborn trait of “high sensitivity” and to show how it affects the lives of those who possess it. Up to 20 percent of the population is born highly sensitive, and now in The Highly Sensitive Child, Aron shifts her focus to highly sensitive children, who share the same characteristics as highly sensitive adults and thus face unique challenges as they grow up.

Rooted in Aron’s years of experience as a psychotherapist and her original research on child temperament, The Highly Sensitive Child shows how HSCs are born deeply reflective, sensitive to the subtle, and easily overwhelmed. These qualities can make for smart, conscientious, creative children, but with the wrong parenting or schooling, they can become unusually shy or timid, or begin acting out. Few parents and teachers understand where this behavior comes from–and as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as overly inhibited, fearful, or “fussy,”or classified as “problem children” (and in some cases, misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder). But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no more prone to these problems than nonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults.

In this pioneering work, parents will find helpful self-tests and case studies to help them understand their HSC, along with thorough advice on:
• The challenges of raising an highly sensitive child

• The four keys to successfully parenting an HSC

• How to soothe highly sensitive infants

• Helping sensitive children survive in a not-so-sensitive world

• Making school and friendships enjoyable

With chapters addressing the needs of specific age groups, from newborns through teens, The Highly Sensitive Child delivers warmhearted, timely information for parents, teachers, and the sensitive children in their lives.(less)

Paperback, 331 pages

Published October 8th 2002 by Three Rivers Press

more details... edit details

Get a copy:

More…

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Lists with This Book

The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz

The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun by Carol Stock Kranowitz

101 Activities for Kids in Tight Spaces by Carol Stock Kranowitz

Raising a Sensory Smart Child by Lindsey Biel

Sensory Processing Disorder

18th out of 60 books — 1 voter

More lists with this book...

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 938)

filter | sort: default (?) | rating details

Aug 01, 2008 Monica rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is a great book. Really helped me learn how to deal with my son better. There is a test you can take online to see if your child is highly sensitive. (sensitive to sound, touch, light food etc.)

2 likes · like · see review

Jan 29, 2011 Ali rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book will change my Jadelyn's life, I can better cope as her mama and it's giving me insights into my own temperment as well! Thank you Carol!!

1 like · like · see review

Feb 04, 2009 Baker rated it 5 of 5 stars

Highly sensitive individuals are those born with a tendency to notice more in their environment and deeply reflect on everything before acting, as compared to those who notice less and act quickly and impulsively. As a result sensitive people, both children and adults, tend to be empathic, smart, intuitive, creative, careful, and conscientious (they are aware of the effects of a misdeed, and so are less likely to commit one). They are also more easily overwhelmed by "high volume" or large quanti...more

4 likes · like · see review

Oct 06, 2012 Beth Gordon rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book really resonated with me from the first page. I could check off practically the entire list when thinking of my daughter. It's good to finally point a finger to a potential reason for her sensitivity.

What kind of irked me about the book was how to cope with having a highly sensitive child. It says to explain to the principal of your child's school about your child's temperament and ask for special accommodations. I agree that explaining it to the child's teacher would be helpful, but...more

like · see review

Apr 08, 2013 Laura Cowan rated it 4 of 5 stars

It's useless to have regrets now when I didn't have control over my own childhood, but how I wish someone raising or teaching me had read this book 20-30 years ago. I am now raising my own sensitive child, who is a little different from the way I was but showing all the hallmark signs of high intelligence and high sensitivity, and this book really helped me in ways other parenting books and advice completely miss. I really like the bulleted lists: the only reason I gave this 4 stars instead of 5...more

1 like · like · see review

Aug 15, 2012 Carrie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I read this book because I am the parent of a highly sensitive child, and I was hopeful that this might give me some clearer insight into what she feels, why she behaves the way she does, and, most importantly, what I can be doing to better parent her. Aron does a great job of explaining what a highly sensitive child (HSC) is, and why they behave the way they do. Her basic premise is that there's nothing inherently wrong with being highly sensitive, though our culture in the United States is not...more I read this book because I am the parent of a highly sensitive child, and I was hopeful that this might give me some clearer insight into what she feels, why she behaves the way she does, and, most importantly, what I can be doing to better parent her. Aron does a great job of explaining what a highly sensitive child (HSC) is, and why they behave the way they do. Her basic premise is that there's nothing inherently wrong with being highly sensitive, though our culture in the United States is not particularly conducive to those types of individuals (which, as she points out many times in the book, compromise approximately 15-20% of all temperament types.) So, as the parent as an HSC, one must reframe the behavior in a positive light, and make sure that, whenever possible, one makes the environment suitable for an HSC.

I definitely came away from the book with a clearer understanding of why my child does some of the things she does. Aron has clearly done much research in the field and is very passionate about it, so she really makes sure that subject is covered in depth. The problem with it, for me, was the defensive tone in which she talks about HSC. I thought she unnecessarily reminded the reader over and over and over again why it's a positive for one to be highly sensitive or to parent an HSC. This happened so much that it made me feel a little like Stuart Smalley reciting "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggoneit, people like my HSC." I mean, who's reading this book from the mindset of "my HSC is such a pain in the ass, let me read a book and figure out why I hate him so much?" Obviously, we all love our children and are insightful enough to have picked this book up, so we're kind of clued in to the fact that our kid is highly sensitive and that there are positive aspects to it. I don't know, it just bugged me after a while, but maybe I'm kind of sensitive too.

The other main problem I had with this book is I didn't come away from it with a clearer understanding as to how I can parent my child any better. I thought most of the advice given was either really obvious or really unrealistic. For example, my child tantrums like crazy when she doesn't get enough sleep. We figured out when she was an infant that she is one of those kids who gets hyperactive when she's overtired. So, we protect her bedtime like crazy in order to avoid those types of hyperactive rages whenever possible. I guess it's possible that people haven't figured this out on their own, but to me, that wasn't helpful advice.

Other advice she gives seemed very unrealistic and again, a little defensive. For example, she talks about preparing a "sound bite" for teachers, care givers, or others that will help them understand your HSC. The example she gives is "It may help you to know that my child is one of those 15 or 20 percent born with a very sensitive nervous system. He notices every subtlety, but is also easily overwhelmed when a lot is going on." I mean, really. How obnoxious would you seem if you said this to the mom hosting the play date as you're dropping your kid off? Certainly there's a better, less entitled way to handle that situation. Another example she gives is this response to people commenting on the fact that you have a sensitive child: "I rather like her sensitivity. Is there a specific thing she's doing that you have a problem with?" Uh, no crazy lady, I was just making conversation! I really truly do appreciate the uniqueness of a HSC. However, this type of suggested dialogue makes the parent seem defensive, overly protective of their child, and frankly, just rude.

All in all, I thought this book was helpful in understanding some of the psychology and physiology behind highly sensitive temperaments, but not helpful in the least from a parenting aspect. (less)

like · see review

Mar 23, 2009 Sylver rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm so happy I found this book! Reading this has helped me understand my son so much better, and at the same time, I've discovered a lot of things about the other members of our family and myself as well. We're all very sensitive (not only emotionally) and reading this book has helped me realize the reason we act the way we do. I hope to be a more compassionate, sensitive mother, so that my children will be able to achieve their potential, with their self-esteem intact, and that our home may be...more

like · see review

Mar 12, 2009 Cyndi rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

This is the third time I've checked this book out of the library. The author has plenty of insight into raising a sensitive child, and her discussion of family dynamics is spot on. As a mother of a highly sensitive daughter, I appreciate this resource. The sections on discipline and communicating with teachers are helpful. Some of her recommendations are over the top, though. I am trying to raise a reasonable, flexible kid; so this means not always indulging her preferences. Where the author rec...more

1 like · like · see review

Jun 28, 2012 Eve rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

Four-word review: Are you kidding me?

Now, the longer version...

My daughter is an 'HSC,' or Highly Sensitive Child. We knew that from the time she was two days old and wouldn't let me put her down so I could go to the bathroom in the hospital; when I called the nurses' station for help, they commented that they'd already noticed her clinginess in the nursery. Fast-forward four and a half years, and my girl complains about bright lights and loud noises, can spot a balloon stuck in a tree half a mi...more

3 likes · like · see review

May 26, 2012 Abby rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

While the book gave me some insight into why my daughter reacts the way she does to certain things, what I really needed was some advice on what to do about it. Specifically how to discipline. I didn't find that here.

3 likes · like · see review

Mar 27, 2013 Teresa Raetz rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book is OK and I'm sure it has helped some people. What turned me off and damaged the credibility of the author was her over-sharing about her own sensitivity issues and those of her child. She is a psychologist by training and this over-sharing goes against the ethics training given to therapists. Helping others is not about your experience or troubles as a therapist but theirs. This violation of an ethic of her profession made me doubt everything else she had to say. Consequently, I skimm...more

like · see review

Jan 28, 2012 Jenny Gruber added it

This turned out to be a very helpful book. You have to get over the dead-horse beating she does at the beginning regarding how much you should appreciate your HSC, but once you do, there are some helpful, practical analyses and suggestions. (The author says she was an HSC, so that's probably why there's so much time spent on lecturing you to love your child for who he is. Maybe some folks need the reminder, but I figured if I picked up the book in the first place, it was probably a good indicati...more

like · see review

Feb 04, 2009 Lauren rated it 3 of 5 stars

I skimmed this book because I thought it might offer helpful techniques for handling some of my daughter's challenges. I wavered throughout the book on whether she was actually a "Highly Sensitive Child", but regardless thinking about her as highly sensitive does help me to be more empathetic. And that was the most useful part of the book for me -- having a shift in mindset, imagining what it would be like to be so highly attuned to the world that the smallest changes would be upsetting. As for...more

2 likes · like · see review

Nov 25, 2010 Susie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Love this book. I don't like the subtitle as much, and I don't really think it reflects Aron's thoughts, but publishers like to have something catchy that sounds problem-solving, so there you go.

If you're not familiar with Aron's work on highly sensitive people: her research indicates that 15-20 percent of the population has an innately more sensitive nervous system. This makes these people more perceptive in their physical senses (sometimes only certain ones), more attuned to nuance and meaning...more

1 like · like · see review

Mar 04, 2012 Ron rated it 4 of 5 stars

15-20% of children are Highly Sensitive (HSC). If you are finding that your child isn't exactly "normal", much of the helpful parenting advice of others doesn't work for your child, and he/she often complains about some sort of sensory input (say loud noise, or tastes or smells) beyond what seems like a reasonable amount of complaining, you may have an HSC. This book contains a questionnaire that will allow you to determine if your child is highly sensitive. It also is full of helpful informatio...more

like · see review

Nov 03, 2011 Darcy rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: partially-read

I am pretty sure that Grae fits into this category of child, but didn't feel that I had the time to read the whole book. I may get it from the library again in the future. Mainly, I just needed to understand Grae a bit better, and I feel that I did gain a better understanding of him reading the portion of the book that I did. A main point that the book discusses that I struggle with is to not feel ashamed of or embarrassed by your sensitive child. Sadly, I sometimes do feel that way, because Gra...more

like · see review

Jun 24, 2010 Rebecca rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, reference

The author spends a lot of the book defining what she means by "highly sensitive child" -- basically the kind of kids that are slow to warm up in new situations or prone to extreme meltdowns when too much is going on. Of course, I kept thinking "but who isn't??" but my husband assures me it all seems like normal behavior to me because I was slow to warm as well (anyone else cry every day when they had to get on the school bus and not tell your parents?). She emphasizes that while a lot of HSCs m...more

like · see review

Aug 28, 2010 Lucy rated it 2 of 5 stars

I have a sensitive child who is easily overwhelmed. I have realized that I do not parent him in a way that helps him thrive.

This book did not help me because it told me that for him to thrive, I can never appear to be upset in front of him, never raise my voice, never make him eat anything he doesn't want to, never force him to be in a situation he finds himself uncomfortable in...basically let him live in a totally unrealistic world.

While I found the suggestions to be over-the-top (the author...more

1 like · like · see review

Oct 19, 2008 Lori rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

This book was so reassuring. I understand better why certain situations that are supposed to be "fun" cause my daughter stress and anxiety. Sudden loud noises, an abrupt change in the plan or routine and rooms filled with chaos can all be triggers for tears and behavior that can appear irrational to someone who is not highly sensitive or who has a child who "goes with the flow".

This book is also a valuable back up for parents who are tired of rationalizing the way their kids react to other peopl...more This book was so reassuring. I understand better why certain situations that are supposed to be "fun" cause my daughter stress and anxiety. Sudden loud noises, an abrupt change in the plan or routine and rooms filled with chaos can all be triggers for tears and behavior that can appear irrational to someone who is not highly sensitive or who has a child who "goes with the flow".

This book is also a valuable back up for parents who are tired of rationalizing the way their kids react to other people. Our society is set up to accommodate people (especially kids) who crave the "more is better" approach when it comes to lights, noise, action and pace. Kiddie attractions are generally larger than life and involve blaring music, crowds of screaming strangers, bright colors and nonstop activity. To a highly sensitve young child this environment can be a recipe for a meltdown or a withdrawal.

It also explains why my daughter can be so outgoing in other situations. Being "sensitive" is different from being "shy"...although highly sensitive kids are often labeled "shy". Parents of sensitive kids who attempt to introduce their kids much more slowly to these often unpleasant but typical situations are often accused of coddling or spoiling their child.

When you live with a sensitive child you develop a feeling for the triggers that will set your kid off. The point is not to shelter your child from the world...but rather to listen to your inner voice and respect your kid's limits. As a parent you need to learn to be patient and to adjust your expectations. My daughter has proven to me that she can warm up well to situations if her initial negative reaction is dealt with appropriately and she does not feel coerced.

If you are the parent whose child cries at birthday parties, melts down at the amusement park or refuses to wear certain fabrics you are NOT alone. You have not "done this to your kid" as so many well-intentioned people will try to tell you.

My daughter eats like a champ and is only typical in her preschool fussiness about clothing. However, sudden noises have set her off since infancy. She used to cry every time someone coughed or sneezed around her. We couldn't understand her reaction compared to these other complacent babies who just sat and smiled at everything.

This is one of the few parenting books that actually describes my child's more challenging behavior.(less)

like · see review

Mar 19, 2008 chasmyn rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: parents of highly sensitive children.

I found this book to be very helpful in gaining perspective on myself and my highly sensitive child. Most of what I read in the book I knew instinctively, but it was nice to not only have it validated, but to have some information to help me address it with others as well. I always get stuck on what to say to other people - I know what my son needs but it seems to be difficult for others to understand, and I've always had a difficult time explaining it to them. If you're NOT a highly sensitive p...more

like · see review

May 10, 2011 Shawna rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

I expected this book to actually offer suggestions for helping me cope with my HSC, but it didn't.

When it offers a suggestion at long last, it follows up with, "But this may not work for your child, all children are different." Gee, no kidding. Just give me SOMETHING to go on.

I discovered I was an HSC, too, and am an HSA, and that my son was an HSC, only I was unaware of the concept, and probably "ruined" him.

HSC's need a different type of parenting and need different levels of understanding, ho...more

1 like · like · see review

Apr 25, 2009 Shana rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

B O R I N G

Very intelligent writer, but man this book put me to sleep night after night. It took me forever to finish because I kept falling asleep. The chapters could be broken up more, perhaps some cliff notes to make it easier to reference back to after reading it would be nice, though I guess thats what my highlighter is for. It did teach me a lot though about being in tune with a child's needs in general. Where was this book when I was a child? Not that my mom wold have read it though!

like · see review

Feb 05, 2009 Cori rated it 4 of 5 stars

I found this book very helpful. It deals with children with a sensitive "temperament," which the author states is about 15-20% of children. I found defining the temperament rather vague, but can understand why given the many variances humans have in our personalities. I read the book as a way to get parenting ideas on how to deal with a child with specific and intense sensitivities, and I felt it was helpful in this regard. I only skimmed some parts (about infants and teenagers) because I took n...more

like · see review

Jul 23, 2011 Jo Bennie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

When I began reading this book I was sceptical. I did not want to label my 7 year old. I knew that t the discipline style my partner and I were using was not working, but was wary of pigeonholing her. But as I read more of Aron's book I found a wealth of compassionate guidance which has allowed me to help a child who is deeply affected by the world around her and is easily overwhelmed.

Aron begins with an questionnaire and overview of what a sensitive child is, what their particular needs are an...more

1 like · like · see review

Mar 25, 2013 Rachel rated it 4 of 5 stars

"...our minds can conceive of anything, but our bodies cannot do everything, and it happens that your highly sensitive child will not be able to do just a little bit less than others of even the nicest activities and opportunities. Fewer playdates, fewer sports, fewer kids’ activities. But almost everyone is trying to do too much these days. HSCs will respond merely a little sooner to stress, warning others that it will soon be too much for anyone."(p.239)

like · see review

Nov 02, 2012 Jamie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: unfinished

1. The use of the acronym HSC annoyed me.
2. A lot of the traits fit my daughter's personality, and I found that the advice was common sense to me given her personality.
3. It did help me feel more comfortable about her "shyness" and gave some good advice as to what positive things to say to others about her tentativeness when the need arises.
4. I skimmed this, and I don't feel like I missed out on anything major.

like · see review

Jan 24, 2011 Emma rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: professional-development

So very insightful, personally and professionally as an elementary classroom teacher. This book put into perspective the cause of many behaviors and tendencies I have noticed in certain students. Becoming aware and being able to understand the emotions behind these behaviors has helped me to be proactive and supportive, which has made a world of difference in the classroom! I am thankful to the child psychologist who recommended I read this! I would recommend it to any teacher, parent, or caregi...more

like · see review

Mar 20, 2013 Angela Henderson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Just picking up little "what not to do"s from this makes it more than worth the price of admission. Like going a military style on a sensitive kid (one that practically punishes himself)? Not only won't teach the lesson you want but will traumatize said kid tremendously.

like · see review

Oct 27, 2012 Karina rated it 5 of 5 stars

If you have a child you're worried about, you should read this. It may well ease your mind and make you feel blessed and lucky instead of heartsick and weary. Also you may learn important things about yourself. This book changed my life.

like · see review

May 07, 2011 Annie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: self-help

My mom handed this to me and simply said “This is you”. She’s totally right, and I wish she had read this when I was growing up. Since I’m not raising a HSC (I’m not raising any kids actually, and don’t plan to for a very long time) I just read it for the information, and I learned a lot about my temperament and how to deal with it. I’d probably learn a lot more if I read “The Highly Sensitive Person” though.

Just one tiny complaint: Beware of the author somewhat putting HSCs on a pedestal. Ther...more

like · see review

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … 31 32 next »

Non Fiction

20 users

Psychology

10 users

Self Help

10 users

Childrens

2 users

Reference

2 users

Education

2 users

Family

2 users

See top shelves...

Readers also enjoyed similar books

Books by Elaine N. Aron

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

The Undervalued Self: Restore Your Love/Power Balance, Transform the Inner Voice That Holds You Back, and Find Your True Self-Worth

Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person: Improving Outcomes for That Minority of People Who Are the Majority of Clients

More…

Share This Book

Facebook Twitter Your website

Trivia About The Highly Sensit...

No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »

title link	preview: The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them
avg rating	preview: The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them Goodreads rating: 3.96 (417 ratings)
small image	preview: click here [close]
med image	preview: click here [close]
BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/923949.The_Highly_Sensitive_Child?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1320565354l/923949.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/923949.The_Highly_Sensitive_Child?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them by Elaine N. Aron[/url]

The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

Friend Reviews

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topic
Discuss This Book

combine
Other Editions (7)

Genres

Readers also enjoyed similar books

Books by Elaine N. Aron

Share This Book

Share This Book on Your Website

Trivia About The Highly Sensit...

The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

Friend Reviews

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topicDiscuss This Book

combineOther Editions (7)

Genres

Readers also enjoyed similar books

Books by Elaine N. Aron

Share This Book

Share This Book on Your Website

Trivia About The Highly Sensit...

new topic
Discuss This Book

combine
Other Editions (7)