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Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
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Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self

3.92  ·  Rating Details ·  180 Ratings  ·  18 Reviews
Like Passages, thisgroundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices ofadoptees and adoptive parents to explore theexperience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A majorwork, filled with astute analysis and movingtruths. ...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published March 1st 1993 by Anchor (first published 1992)
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deena kirk
Oct 01, 2011 deena kirk rated it really liked it
Having been adopted and having found my birth mother, I was intrigued by this book. It covers various seasons in an adoptees life and examines questions or actions of the adopted child. I found it to mirror many of the perspectives I have. I would highly recommend it to parents who have decided to adopt - it will help to understand the adoptee's perspective. By the way, I am extremely grateful for the parents who have raised me. I consider my birth mother to be a woman who made a terrifically di ...more
Liz Latty
Apr 20, 2008 Liz Latty rated it liked it
Recommends it for: adoptees, adoptive parents
Recommended to Liz by: my mom
someday someone will write a book about adoption that reads true and unsentimental and scathing and loving and critical and grateful and real to those of us who have experienced it...someday...
Tirsa
Oct 04, 2009 Tirsa rated it liked it
This is a great book for someone just getting started in the adoption world. I felt that much of the material was a review for me since I have already studied much about adoption and worked in the field as a social worker. In addition, I wished that the book was more current as it focused on what I like to call "old school adoption" (they call it traditional adoption) where the adoptions were mostly closed and often secretive. Adoptions have come along way since the early 90s when this book was ...more
Rhonda Rae Baker
Apr 22, 2012 Rhonda Rae Baker rated it it was amazing
Very important writing about what it is to be adopted, the stages one goes through, internal dynamics, and one that I will refer to often.

Brodzinsky explains with examples and logic the processes of growth an adoptee transcends. I had to take it in bites so the information could be assimilated within.

Now that I'm at the 50 year mark, I am looking for the resolutions he speaks of and how to incorporate all of myself...find myself and peace.

Everyone that is touched by adoption should read this...w
...more
Stephanie Peterson
Aug 20, 2013 Stephanie Peterson rated it did not like it
as someone who was adopted, this book has in my opinion one vital flaw--the authors themselves were not adopted. though this creates an unbiased and strictly research based book (and there is no lack in research), there is an emotion in every adoptee that fails to be captured within these pages. perhaps for those looking to adopt this is grand, but for those trying to see how other adoptees feel in relation to the reader's emotions, this book doesn't quite do the trick.
Amy
Aug 20, 2011 Amy rated it really liked it
finally made it all the way through, start to finish. The 4 star rating was after I first got it based on reading the section appropriate to my age. I identified with a lot of what the authors propose adoptees feel. Maybe that's the way it's meant to be read; reading from beginning to end was a chore. Overall a good reference to understanding yourself and the various emotional cycles that accompany being an adopted person.
Ryan Murdock
Apr 06, 2015 Ryan Murdock rated it really liked it
An interesting book based on clinical research and studies of adopted people of all ages, and the developmental challenges they face. I liked that the exploration of development over a lifetime was based on Erikson's seven stage model of the lifecycle. An interesting read that was absent of the usual fluff. I got a few new insights from this.
Sam
May 31, 2013 Sam rated it really liked it
Shelves: adoption
Very useful discussion of how adoptees go through the stages of development. However, it does assume that people are told as children and are able to integrate their adoptee status into their lives as they grow.

As someone who found out in her 30's she was adopted it didn't help me process my situation---only a realization of what I missed.

From a parental perspective I think it will be very useful to review if/when we adopt children ourselves. Adoption adds layers to the typical developmental s
...more
Meme
May 28, 2016 Meme rated it it was amazing
[non adoptee trying to get a little more insight. Please look for other reviews by people who were adopted]

Amazing and insightful into a world that I had no ideas about. Would totally recommend.
Laura
Nov 01, 2015 Laura rated it really liked it
The most mild research type book I've read. It held my interest and is based on Erik Erikson's model of stages of life and how adoptee's fit into these stages as they move through their lives. It's a take on adoption that I wouldn't have considered in my lifetime and a lot of it makes sense. That being said this book was written in the 90's and a lot has changed since then and I think that even though a lot of this research has now expanded since the writing of this book it is still informative ...more
Jamie
May 11, 2012 Jamie rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
The authors apply established psychological thinking to the adoption world, examining the internal struggles faced by adoptees at different points in the life cycle. This book was published in the early 90s so the discussion of adoption is not very current -- eg, open adoption, which is now fairly mainstream, was very new at the time. Nonetheless, the authors make some interesting points. Worth reading for those with an interest in adoption.
Nicole
Feb 11, 2016 Nicole rated it it was amazing
It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who has struggles with rejection, abandonment, and a sense of never fitting in.

The only issue I have is that it was written in the early 90's and needs a major updating, especially on the topic of open adoptions.
Jen
Dec 30, 2009 Jen rated it liked it
While mostly focused on Erikson's seven stage model of the lifecycle, there are interesting bits and bobs related to the adoptees development similarities and challenges within the model. Found the "genealogical bewilderment" concept powerful.
Lisa
Oct 05, 2010 Lisa rated it it was amazing
A reference book I always come back to gain insight and wisdom from another source.
Gina Barnett
what is the task at different ages as the adoptee discovers the self
Sarah
Mar 27, 2009 Sarah rated it it was amazing
This is the best book I've read about adoption and I've read a few.
Sherry
Jan 21, 2010 Sherry rated it liked it
A topic I am interested in. Learned a lot.
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