Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too! by Tim Collins

Jul 09, 2010 Sam rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fantasy, first-reads, teens

Won this through the Goodreads Giveaways.

This was a seriously entertaining and funny book and I demolished it in one evening, it was that good. Just think of all the suave and dashing vampires you can think of from the Count himself to the Cullens in all their mesmerising glory, then think of the complete opposite and you have Nigel Mullet. Nigel was turned into a vampire at 15 and as he approaches his 100 birthday his well matured teen angst goes into over-drive as he tries to deal with very em...more

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Sep 11, 2010 Stephanie (Stepping out of the Page) rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2010, young-adult, fantasy, series-or-companions, vampires, books-i-own

A very simple book and a quick read. It managed to make me laugh out loud and I found some of the double entendre to be hilarious - a very fun book for the most part. Very easy to read and humorous.

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Jul 13, 2011 Missmoop rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I really enjoyed reading this book,i haven't yet read number 2 but hopefully soon i can add it on to my list!!!!!! This book is funny in the way that it describes they teen life of a vamp!!! I'm not a twi-fan but certainly am a vam-fan!!!!

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Oct 25, 2011 El Templo de las Mil Puertas added it · review of another edition

Shelves: 20-eltemplo, no-solo-para-nanos

"¿Qué puede haber peor que tener quince años y ser el pringado de clase? Ser un vampiro sin ningún tipo de poder, que tu hermana tenga más fuerza que tú y sea una friki de cuidado, que tus padres tengan que buscarte la comida porque tú no puedes y que el profesor de gimnasia te la tenga jurada por escaquearte de sus clases. Así es Nigel Mullet, un vampiro con poca facilidad para hacer amigos atrapado en el instituto, que odia la gimnasia y que en sus arrebatos de tristeza escribe poesías. Pero c...more

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May 08, 2013 Mizuki Genshou rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: vampires-related, werewolves, young-adult-books

3.5 stars.

The Story:
Nigel Mullet, a nearly 100 years old vampire who was stuck eternally in the body of a 15 years old school boy, was doomed to go to highschool repeatedly for the rest of eternity because he would never age. Lacking vampiric beauty and strength, Nigel always felt like an outsider even in his own vampiric family. One of his greatest miseries is that in the past 80 years, Nigel never managed to find himself a girlfriend. Will his misery end with the arrival of a new girl student,...more 3.5 stars.

The Story:
Nigel Mullet, a nearly 100 years old vampire who was stuck eternally in the body of a 15 years old school boy, was doomed to go to highschool repeatedly for the rest of eternity because he would never age. Lacking vampiric beauty and strength, Nigel always felt like an outsider even in his own vampiric family. One of his greatest miseries is that in the past 80 years, Nigel never managed to find himself a girlfriend. Will his misery end with the arrival of a new girl student, will he find true love eventually?

The Comment:
On the cover of 'Diary of a Wimpy Vampire', there is a subtitle which states 'Because Undeads Have Feelings Too'; this statement very well gives you what you have to know about this book: (a) It's a parody aims to make fun of the vamps-are-so-romantic! pop culture, (b) It's a story about an emo/wimpy kid, who happens to be a vampire.

The main character Nigel Mullet is the textbook case of 'No one understands me!', 'My family just don't get it!' and My feeling is so deep I need to write a poem to express it!' emo teen. And the author obviously used his characters to make fun of the Twilight series for various of times in the book. For example:

*plot spoiler*

1.Nigel is doomed to attempt high school for the rest of the eternity-- and he hates it.
2.Nigel is a 100 years old virgin - and a painfully awkward one in it.
3.Vampires are supposed to be unimaginably beautiful and strong--but Nigel is an exclusion.
4.The girl whom Nigel is fancying, loves him back immediately once she figured out he's a vampire. ( Is there anyone out there laughing too?)
5.Nigel also watched his love-interest from outside of the window while she was sleeping (with the girl's permission though, and he got bored by this 'romantic' activity' pretty soon)
6.For some reason, the vampires in the book don't sleep.
7. The vampires in the book are not afraid of sunlight.

*end of plot spoiler*

As a YA book, Diary of a Wimpy Vampire is fun to read, although many of the characters (e.g. the 'goth' kids whom Nigel befriended) look pretty stereotyped, and the main character Nigel is someone you cannot easily related with (if you found yourself relating with Nigel, be alarmed!), still in the end Nigel overcame his weakness and finally proofed his worth to his love interest and parents. Therefore, do try this book out if you're looking for a lot of LOLs.(less)

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Jan 20, 2013 Teo Jun rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book was introduced to me by my dear friends to get me started on reading. Once I opened the book, I knew I had to read this (And I did).

This book is extremely suitable and recommended for starters or developing readers(like me). The context of the book is fun and easy to read as they are not as much words per page. Like a comic book, every page is filled with well-organised illustrations to aid in visualising the story.

The idea of the story was somewhat interesting, but what captivated me...more

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Nov 27, 2012 Fredrik rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Ngg... jadi buku ini adalah sebuah usaha untuk memparodikan serial Wimpy Kid + segala trivia tentang vampir.

Yang menjadi masalah adalah memparodikan hal-hal yang pada awalnya sudah komedi (Wimpy Kid) haruslah berakhir lebih lucu/konyol lagi daripada yang diparodikan kan?
Nah, imo, buku ini gak berhasil membawa ke sana.
Terkadang ada hal-hal yang terlalu garing. Hmm... mungkin harus dilihat dari sisi humor bergaya British...? Entahlah. :|

Ceritanya juga membuat heran secara tokoh utamanya sudah menj...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Lerisa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Fresh. Fiuh, baru aja selesai baca..

Berawal dari bete karena boring gak ada kerjaan saat pelajaran, saya ngeliat teman saya memegang novel ini tanpa minat. Mata temen saya itu ternyata lebih tertarik dengan majalah 'Kawanku' yang dipegang seorang teman disebelahnya.

Mendadak aja, saya pengen baca novel yang dipegang olehnya. Dengan rayuan rayuan maut, akhirnya dia berkata kalau itu bukan novelnya, melainkan novel seorang teman yang lain.
Sial, nyatanya rayuan maut saya mungkin hanya sia sia belak...more Fresh. Fiuh, baru aja selesai baca..

Berawal dari bete karena boring gak ada kerjaan saat pelajaran, saya ngeliat teman saya memegang novel ini tanpa minat. Mata temen saya itu ternyata lebih tertarik dengan majalah 'Kawanku' yang dipegang seorang teman disebelahnya.

Mendadak aja, saya pengen baca novel yang dipegang olehnya. Dengan rayuan rayuan maut, akhirnya dia berkata kalau itu bukan novelnya, melainkan novel seorang teman yang lain.
Sial, nyatanya rayuan maut saya mungkin hanya sia sia belaka karena itu bukan novel dia -___- *bershower*

Langsung aja deh ke review-nya. Saya jadi mendadak malu kalau nyeritain gimana rincinya.

Novel ini berkisah tentang Nigel, seorang vampir berusia 15 tahun, yang hidup di dunia manusia. Walaupun setiap pergantian bab-nya dibatasi dengan tanggal-bulan-dan jam, novel ini keseluruhan bercerita tentang tekad Nigel untuk menjadi vampir level atas dan mampu menggaet seorang gadis manusia bernama Chloe.

Di awal melihat Chloe, taring Nigel mendadak memanjang. Ia mulai mendengr darah yang terpompa di sekitar urat nadinya, dan ingin sekali meminum darah segar di leher Chloe. Masalahnya, ia tidak bisa melakukannya. Yang bisa ia lakukan hanyalah berpaling.

Nyatanya, ia sudah berumur berpuluh puluh tahun dan akan menjadi 100 tahun pada bulan Mei (bingung ya?? Padahal umur aslinya udah 100 tahun. Wkkwkw).
Selama itulah ia tidak punya pacar dan baru kali ini jatuh cinta. Karena itulah, walaupun ayahnya sempat menasehati Nigel mengenai 'hubungan-antara-vampir-dan-manusia-agak-berbahaya', dirinya kukuh ingin menggaet Chloe.

Nigel terus terusan berusaha menarik perhatian gadis itu. Tapi nyatanya ia tidak memiliki pesona vampir seperti ayah dan ibunya. Harapannya hampir pupus, apalagi ketika Mr.Jenkins terus terusan merongrongnya dengan hal berbau 'olahraga' juga mengenai masalah Chloe yang menjalin hubungan dengan Wayne..

---------------------

Saya suka dengan novel berbau komedi dan romance! Sama halnya dengan novel 'Diary si bocah tengil', novel ini juga menceritakan tentang kehidupan sehari hari tokoh utamanya.
Selain itu, saya puasss banget dengan gambar gambar yang tertera di lembar lembar novelnya kocak dan gemesin

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Jun 27, 2012 Autumn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: laughter, not-just-for-teens

Picked this up because it was advertised as the antithesis to the "deep," "conflicted," "romantic" teen vampires that are so popular today. Great humorous bits that were fun to read aloud to others. The whole teen angst theme is also great and realistic. Loved the deep poetry of an emotional teen (because we can all relate). Interesting ideas about vampires—and also interesting how someone could live for over 100 years seemingly without any maturity in thought or emotions. Definitely portrays li...more

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Apr 06, 2012 OpenBookSociety.com rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Beware of spoilers

This book was such a fun read. I love the quirky, snarky attitude and the doodles. I read this book in one sitting. The diary format allowed the book to flow, but you could dip in and out of it with ease.

Nigel is a typical teenage boy, who is bored, doesn’t fit in at school, thinks no-one will ever love him and is embarrassed by his parents. But, Nigel is different, his family are different. They are all vampires but not the sparkly fluffy ones we are accustomed to at present,...more

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Apr 04, 2011 Astri Nasthasia Videlia rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Hooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....???? Kelar?? Akhirnyaaaa... Uhuuuyy... hmpffth.. Jadii.. Karna ini buntelan pertama sayah dari Ibu Peri.. maka Sayah pun membacanya dengan serba hati - hati, otomatis.. lama deh kelarnya.. *ngeles*.. tp ini beneran dah kelar kok.. hihihi...

Kita kenalan yoook Sama Tokoh kita yang ini... His name is... eeng.. Sapa yah?? Nick?? noo.. Nate?? noo... aahh.. Nigel!! Yak.. His name is Nigel. Maaf aga lama.. soalnya nemu namanya emang di tengah - tengah...muahah...more Hooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....???? Kelar?? Akhirnyaaaa... Uhuuuyy... hmpffth.. Jadii.. Karna ini buntelan pertama sayah dari Ibu Peri.. maka Sayah pun membacanya dengan serba hati - hati, otomatis.. lama deh kelarnya.. *ngeles*.. tp ini beneran dah kelar kok.. hihihi...

Kita kenalan yoook Sama Tokoh kita yang ini... His name is... eeng.. Sapa yah?? Nick?? noo.. Nate?? noo... aahh.. Nigel!! Yak.. His name is Nigel. Maaf aga lama.. soalnya nemu namanya emang di tengah - tengah...muahahha.. ups.. ;b

Nigel adalah seorang Vampire berumur 15thn saat dia menjadi Vampire untuk pertama kalinya.. klo Umur buat ukuran Vampire sih.. dia sudah berumur hampir 100thn?? What?? Yups.. that's it.. hhehe...
Daaann... selama hampir 100thn ini lah dia Menjomblo.. Jomblo.. You know that mean?? Singel.. Ga punya pacar.. almost a hundred years?? uummm... yak.. that's it.. again... hhehehhe...
dan (again), Nigel adalah Vampire ternaas yang pernah gw temui selama pengalaman gw membaca buku tentang vampire.. Kenapa?? Karena eh Karena.. Selain selama (hampir) 100thn dia menjomblo.. Dia juga merupakan Satu - satu nya Vampire yang tidak seperti Vampire, Selama (hampir) 100thn ini, Nigel hidup seperti manusia biasa, di samping kebiasaan minum darahnya itu looh. Dan hey.. semua dia tuangkan disini.. dalam sebuah Diary pribadinya.. hari - harinya menjelang ulang tahunnya yang ke 100. yaa.. Disinilah Nigel berjanji pada ulang tahunnya yang ke 100.. DIA HARUS PUNYA PACAR!! and.. Boom!! it's happen?? eeeng.. We'll see.. :D

Nigel cerita apa siih? Salah satunya adalah Curhatan tentang tidak adanya kekuatan Vampire dalam dirinya.. tentang tidak adanya pesona vampir dalam wajahnya.. (tw donk knp gw bilang dy Vampire ternaas? hmpffth.. :b) dan tentang cewe baru di sekolahnya, Chloe yang sangat cantik dan Nigel menyukainya. hmmm... interesting huh?? *wink - wink*

Itu doank??? Yaa Enggak laah.. Masih banyak curhatan Nigel disini.. Dan Nigel, hanya meceritakannya pada kita si pembaca buku Diary nya.. hoohooh...

Dan.. di tengah asiknya Nigel bercerita tentang hidupnya sebagai Vampire naas.. sesuatu terjadi.. melibatkan dirinya.. keluarganya.. dan cewe yang di sukainya... ooo.. ooowww... apa yaah?? Mau tebak - tebakan?? Bukan kah lebih baik kita baca bukunya?? agar bisa saling bercerita.. hehheh... Yuukkk maree...

Udahan aah... Takut banyak sepooi tar... huahahhha ;b

Btw, gw penasaran loh klo buku ini di film kan.. akan jadi apakah Vampire kita ini?? hihiiihiih...

PS : Dedicated to All Vampire Lovers!!

PSS : Ada yang mau Sepoi.an?? Boleh bertanya apa ajah.. Feel Free!!! :D

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Jul 02, 2010 E DB rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ya-novels

This was a light, entertaining, and very quick read, but I have to say it left me feeling a little let down. There's so much one could do with the eternally-spotty-teen theme. Unfortunately Collins and his fellow diary-novel writers (like Louise Rennison) can't seem to make a joke without overdoing it and ruining the humour. And despite Tim Collins' mockery of the protagonist via authorial style, there is something pretty shit and unbelievably depressing about being stuck as an unpopular 15-year...more

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Feb 09, 2013 Sulung Lahitani Mardinata rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: childrens, comedy

Apa jadinya kalau kisah-kisah kelam vampir ala Twilight dicampur dengan komedi ala Wimpy Kid? Maka buku inilah jawabannya.
Nigel, seorang vampir remaja berusia hampir 100 tahun (?) merasa hidupnya menyedihkan. Sebagai vampir, ia sama sekali tidak punya kelebihan-kelebihan yang biasa dimiliki vampir. Ia lemah, pucat, kurus, dan tidak bertenaga. Mendekati umur 100 tahun, Nigel bertekad mesti mempunyai seorang cewek. Dan doanya terkabul ketika Chloe, seorang cewek berambut panjang pindah ke sekolah...more

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Mar 30, 2011 Nike rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: fiksi, hadiah-dikasih-menangkuis, terjemahan, seri-lanjutan

Pernah denger tentang vampir kan? Serem... memang, tapi yang ini beda!
Jangan juga mikir vampir ganteng yang kayak di buku-buku yang marak beredar ya :D
Ini vampir muda, yang waktu dia jadi vampir umurnya baru 15 tahun, kebayangkan gimana curhatan cowok ABG umur segitu, kebanyakan tentang cinta.

Gimana ya rasanya kejatuhan cinta seorang vampir?
Cowo vampir tengil ini mengisahkan semua kisah hidupnya dalam lembar-lembar kertas dalam buku hariannya, secara lucu dan menarik sekali. Dari mulai bagaimana...more Pernah denger tentang vampir kan? Serem... memang, tapi yang ini beda!
Jangan juga mikir vampir ganteng yang kayak di buku-buku yang marak beredar ya :D
Ini vampir muda, yang waktu dia jadi vampir umurnya baru 15 tahun, kebayangkan gimana curhatan cowok ABG umur segitu, kebanyakan tentang cinta.

Gimana ya rasanya kejatuhan cinta seorang vampir?
Cowo vampir tengil ini mengisahkan semua kisah hidupnya dalam lembar-lembar kertas dalam buku hariannya, secara lucu dan menarik sekali. Dari mulai bagaimana dia belajar untuk menarik perhatian Chloe, si pujaan hati hingga bagaimana membuat Chloe jatuh cinta padanya. Lucu banget. Tiap kali melihat Chloe, tiba-tiba yang ada taringnya memanjang dan semata-mata karena dia gak mau ketauan bahwa dia seorang vampir, terpaksalah harus nunduk di balik buku atau lari ke toilet setiap kali kehausan, dan tiap ke sekolah bekal yang dibawa adalah sebotol darah.

Perjuangan Nigel untuk belajar menarik perhatian sampai mendapatkan hati Chloe sangat menarik, saya rasa semua remaja akan mengalami masa-masa seperti ini, masa dimana seorang remaja punya rasa pengen tahu semuanya, itu juga yang terjadi dalam diri Nigel. Dia menulis diarinya setiap hari. Nigel menceritakan banyak hal tentang vampir, seperti vampir akan merasa sangat pusing apabila melihat tanda-tanda keagamaan, taring yang akan memanjang ketika merasa haus atau bergairah untuk meminum apabila melihat darah. Ternyata, ga setiap orang yang darahnya dihisap vampir akan berubah jadi vampir loh :)

Seharusnya, vampir adalah sosok yang menyeramkan ya, tapi tidak dengan yang satu ini. Tim Collins membuat kisah ini menjadi begitu lucu dan khas remaja yang baru mulai jatuh cinta. Dengan font yang dibuat selayaknya tulisan tangan, ditambah dengan gambar-gambar khas gambar sketsa seperti dari sentuhan pensil, buku ini 'dapet' banget deh. Berasa kayak beneran baca diari seseorang.
Sayangnya, menurut saya terjemahannya terlalu formal, terasa kaku, dan banyak kata-kata yang kayaknya kurang bersahabat ditelinga, seperti 'melihat-melihat' (hal 36), mungkin seharusnya lebih enak kalo 'melihat-lihat'. Beberapa pengulangan juga sepertinya agak kurang pas, ditambah lagi dengan 'alih-alih' yang kayaknya berhamburan keluar dari buku ini.(less)

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Mar 25, 2012 Veronika rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Nigel Mullet žije se svojí, hodně podivnou, rodinkou v malém městečku. Už nějaký ten pátek je mu patnáct let. Jako upír totiž zamrzl v tomto věku. Jeho největším problémem je vzhled, jaký mu zůstal už desítky let. Není vůbec oslnivě krásný, jako ostatní upíři. Není ani silný a nemá žádné super schopnosti.
Na stření školu začne chodit Chloe, do které se Nigel bláznivě zamiluje. Zkouší tak veškeré balící taktiky a možnosti, jak na ní zapůsobit. Třešničkou na dortu bude zjištění, kdo to vlastně nap...more Nigel Mullet žije se svojí, hodně podivnou, rodinkou v malém městečku. Už nějaký ten pátek je mu patnáct let. Jako upír totiž zamrzl v tomto věku. Jeho největším problémem je vzhled, jaký mu zůstal už desítky let. Není vůbec oslnivě krásný, jako ostatní upíři. Není ani silný a nemá žádné super schopnosti.
Na stření školu začne chodit Chloe, do které se Nigel bláznivě zamiluje. Zkouší tak veškeré balící taktiky a možnosti, jak na ní zapůsobit. Třešničkou na dortu bude zjištění, kdo to vlastně napadá nešťastné obyvatele malého městečka a co vůbec ten dotyčný chce.

Už z pohledu na obálku knihy, musí být čtenáři jasné, že se nejedná o nějaké "běžné" čtení. V některých knihách se můžeme setkat s občasným oživením textu formou deníkového zápisu (v tuto chvíli mě napadnou jen Stefanovy nebo Upíří deníky). Jenže příběh Nigela je celý psán touto formou.
Deníkové zápisky jsou svižné, lépe čtivé, bez přemrštěných popisovacích pasáží. Zachycují hrdinovo aktuální rozpoložení, ať už je jakékoliv. Konkrétně tento Nigelův deník je pro čtenáře takovým oživením nudného dne. Kdy se pobaví, zasměje se jeho výstřelkům a tomu, jak vlastně přemýšlí. Než se pak čtenář naděje, tak má celou knihu/deník za sebou a ještě se některým hláškám chvilku chechtá.
Přečíst si sem tam nějakou knihu, která je psána tímto stylem je pro čtenáře takový relax, oddechne si, pobaví se a není unuděn popisy. Neříkám ovšem, že by se měli čtenáři začít shánět jen po takovýchto knihách, to rozhodně ne. Kdo si ale přečte deník tohoto opravdu neobyčejného upíra, dá mi za pravdu. Občasné vypnutí je potřeba. A navíc, Nigel píše zajímavě a čtenáře nenudí. Zápisky utíkají rychle a svižně.

Chudák Nigel byl asi zrovna hodně zaneprázdněný, když upíří bůh rozdával krásu, rychlost a jiné schopnosti hodné takovéto temné bytosti. K tomu všemu má ještě pěkně potrefenou rodinku a desetiletou upíří sestru, která ho rozdrtí ve fotbale. Ne každý upír je tedy nádherný, silný, blýskavý a kdo ví co ještě.
Nigel je prostě obyčejný kluk, který je na světě už okolo stovky let. Nic zvláštního. Občas se krmí krví (kterou mu nosí rodiče, protože není zrovinka silný na lov). Jinak se jedná o tragicky komického, akné nosícího, outsidera, který se snaží získat srdce své vyvolené. Nikoliv pomocí upířího šarmu, ale hezky klasicky. S občasným neúspěchem, který potkal snad každého.

Podle ukázky z knihy jsem čekala pobavení a odreagování se. Čehož se mi také během čtení dostalo. Nečekala jsem rozhodně nějaké úctyhodné dílo, které by každého srazilo na kolena. Což rozhodně nepočítám jako mínus knihy. Už z anotace a obálky knihy je jasné, že má čtenáře zaujmout po komické stránce. Myslím si, že se to Nigelovi povedlo a nejednou jsem se během čtení docela zasmála.
Pro ty starší je to rozhodně dobrá odreagovačka, pro ty mladší se to může stát potrefeným příběhem jednoho kluka, který se snaží získat srdce dívky. Ne každého ta kniha musí zaujmout. Jak to všechno dopadne je celkem patrné už z vnitřního cítění. Takže vás konec určitě nijak nepřekvapí. Může vás ale překvapit zápletka s padouchem, který upíjí krev obyvatelům města.
Určitě se budu opakovat, ale napíši to ještě jednou. Pro mě osobně to dílo znamenalo svižné čtení, u kterého jsem se nenudila a šlo mi tak říkajíc od ruky. Mohla bych napsat do deštivého odpoledne, kdyby tak krásně nesvítilo sluníčko. Kniha by se dala celkem snadno přečíst během jednoho odpoledne. Očekávala jsem pobavení a za to knize dám čtyři hvězdičky. Možná si někdo řekne, jak takové knize můžu dát tolik hvězdiček. Říkám, splnilo to všechna má očekávání a ještě to bylo psáno velmi zajímavou formou a doplněno opravdu vtipnou ilustrací. Doporučila bych to spíše čtenářům v Nigelově věku (ve kterém byl přeměněn = 15 let).(less)

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Aug 10, 2011 Minna rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Teens who like vampires

Recommended to Minna by: Picked it up at random

Shelves: vampires, young-adult

Nigel Mullet is a sorry excuse for a vampire. He does not have any of the skills you're supposed to have as a vampire. He's not fast, strong or possesses any unearthly beauty, he is stuck in a fifteen-year-old boys body for the rest of his unmortal life. He's even too weak to hunt for blood so his parents have to get him his food. He is in love with a girl in his school and gets more and more frustrated that he can't confess his love to her and when other boys get closer to her than he does.

For...more

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May 15, 2010 Jenny / Wondrous Reads rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: for-review, uk-author

Nigel Mullet is nothing like the beautiful, sparkly vampires we've all become so accustomed to. He doesn't dazzle anyone with one smouldering look, he's not a smooth talker and he certainly doesn't possess any cool vampire abilities. He's a normal 100-year-old vampire forever trapped in a 15-year-old's body, and he's bored. Very bored. That is, until he meets Chloe - love of his life and the object of his eternal affection. Then begins a quest to make her his girlfriend, which is both hilarious...more Nigel Mullet is nothing like the beautiful, sparkly vampires we've all become so accustomed to. He doesn't dazzle anyone with one smouldering look, he's not a smooth talker and he certainly doesn't possess any cool vampire abilities. He's a normal 100-year-old vampire forever trapped in a 15-year-old's body, and he's bored. Very bored. That is, until he meets Chloe - love of his life and the object of his eternal affection. Then begins a quest to make her his girlfriend, which is both hilarious and cringeworthy. But mostly hilarious.

I really enjoyed Diary of a Wimpy Vampire, though I knew I would as soon as I read the summary. It had me laughing out loud on many occasions, and the parody side of it was so amusing. Imagine a geeky Edward Cullen pining over the girl he can't get, then add a bit of Spike's terrible poetry to the mix, and you get Nigel. Being in high school forever sounds like complete torture, and his embarrassing parents don't help matters. His dad wears capes and his sister is a 10-year-old wannabe princess... things can't get any worse! Sounds funny? It is!

Tim Collins has written a brilliant diary-style book that vampire fans will love. It includes fantastically funny illustrations, and you can't help but feel sorry for Nigel. Navigating high school is hard at the best of times, but when you're almost 100 years old and still haven't bitten a girl's neck.. well.. what can you do? I really hope a sequel is in the pipeline, because I want more from Nigel. I'd love to see how he deals with things after the book ends, and I also want to see more of his family. They are so cool!

Diary of a Wimpy Vampire has been described as Twilight meets Adrian Mole, and I can't think of a better way of selling it. It has all the awkwardness of Adrian Mole's teen years, along with the vampirism you'd expect from Stephenie Meyer. Although sun rashes and a lack of strength have nothing on mesmerising golden eyes, Nigel still rocks, 'cause he does it all with a killer sense of humour. No pun intended.

4.5/5 stars.(less)

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Feb 06, 2012 Azia rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Nigel sepintas hanya remaja yang tidak menarik dan populer. Siapa sangka dia adalah vampire yang terjebak di usia 15 thn. Awalnya Menjadi manusia abadi menyenangkan hingga berpindah-pindah tempat tinggal dan mengulang pelajaran yg sama selama 85 thn.

Nigel sangat bergantung pada perburuan orang tuanya membawa kantong darah untuk minum. Mitos vampire takut matahari tak berlaku bagi Nigel dan keluarga paling hanya timbul ruam-ruam di kulitnya.Nigel menganggap dirinya tidak memiliki kekuatan vampire...more Nigel sepintas hanya remaja yang tidak menarik dan populer. Siapa sangka dia adalah vampire yang terjebak di usia 15 thn. Awalnya Menjadi manusia abadi menyenangkan hingga berpindah-pindah tempat tinggal dan mengulang pelajaran yg sama selama 85 thn.

Nigel sangat bergantung pada perburuan orang tuanya membawa kantong darah untuk minum. Mitos vampire takut matahari tak berlaku bagi Nigel dan keluarga paling hanya timbul ruam-ruam di kulitnya.Nigel menganggap dirinya tidak memiliki kekuatan vampire yang kuat dan cepat. Berbeda dengan Nigel,adiknya justru mempunyai kekuatan super ala vampire.

Vampire juga bisa jatuh cinta! Ada seorang murid perempuan bernama Chloe memenuhi hati dan pikiran Nigel. Chloe memiliki lehernya yang cantik. Setiap memandang Chloe akan memunculkan taring Nigel. Tetapi Chloe hanya menganggap Nigel teman biasa. Hari-hari Nigel makin lesu setelah Chloe berpacaran dengan Wayne. Nigel pun patah hati dan baginya lebih baik jantungnya dipasak atau kepalanya dipenggal daripada merasakan sakitnya patah hati.

Ada serangan vampire di kota tempat tinggalnya. Nigel mencurigai orang tua karena Ayahnya mengatakan bahwa mereka adalah klan vampire terakhir.Jika ketahuan mereka harus berpindah ke kota lain,memulai lagi dari awal. Nigel mengatakan perasaannya dengan jujur kepada Chloe setelah cewek itu putus dengan pacarnya. Ia juga mengaku sebagai vampire.Chloe menerimanya sebagai kekasih, mungkin ia terpukau dengan gigi taring Nigel yang tiba-tiba muncul tanpa disadari.

Chloe disandera oleh guru olahraga mereka,Mr Jenkins yang ternyata juga vampire. Mr Jenkins menaruh dendam pada ayah Nigel yang tak sengaja mengubahnya jadi vampire 200 tahun yang lalu. Nigel harus berduel menghadapi Mr Jenkins. Kemarahan Nigel membangkitkan kekuatan yang selama ini tersembunyi dan tidak disadari Nigel.

Sepintas buku ini dari cover hampir mirip dengan diary wimpy kid. Saya hampir terkecoh mengira masih buku yang sama. Ilustrasi Nigel selalu meregut dan terkesan suram. Jujur aja cerita si Nigel ini membosankan.
(less)

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Mar 07, 2011 Bee-Man rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Buku tercepat yang sy baca di 2010-2011 ini, kalo dihitung per-jam maka g akan sampe 24 jam.

Beli via dinamikaebooks.com, di halaman 3 sy sudah senyum, halaman 5 tertawa kecil, halaman 9 ngakak, halaman 12 sy guling2, pas khatam sy nangis. Nangis karena sakit perut kbanyakan ketawa.

Novel bergambar tentang vampir aneh bernama Nigel. Usia 15 th (selama 85 th), bingung kan?
Nigel vampir yg dirubah ketika dia berusia 15 tahun, otomatis dia abadi dalam usia itu.

Yg gokilnya lagi, ini vampir kebalikan d...more

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Feb 04, 2011 Paul Allchorne rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: library-books

Diary of a Wimpy Vampire is a humorous story told, as the title suggests, in diary form. It tells the story of Nigel Mullet, a 100 year old vampire, who was transformed at the age of fifteen and his daily struggle with acne, a breaking voice and an ineptitude with girls, especially Chloe the new girl at his school.

Unlike his parents and sister, Nigel doesn't exhibite the usual vampire traits such as super speed, the ability to mezmorize people or hunt for food. Nigel is, in essence, a Wimp.

I fou...more

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Aug 21, 2011 Karin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy, vampires, relationship-problems, relationships, high-school, funny, diaries-journals, young-adult-fiction, teenagers, friendship, rivalry, angst, borrowed-from-the-library

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Nov 10, 2012 Karen Phelps rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: november-2012, humor

This book is about a vampire named Nigel Mullet and he's not like any other vampire, he doesn't have the strength, speed, and the looks. When he moves to a new school he falls in love with a girl named Chloe. Now he's doing everything he can to impress her and win her over before all the guys start liking her. After a while he has the courage to tell her how he feels and she soon ends up finding out that Nigel is a vampire.

I really liked this book because the author puts this story in a humorou...more

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Jul 06, 2012 Janine McCaw rated it 5 of 5 stars

A co-worker gave me this book to read because he knew I wrote a book that had a vampire in it. That's what happens. Vampires begat vampires and all that.
I could tell right away from the cover that this was a book for pre-teens, and though I thanked him for undoubtedly noting my youthful spirit, I looked at the book rather skeptically. Would people look at me weird if they saw me reading this on my commute? For sure.
And they did. But not because of the book cover, which I tried to keep discre...more

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Jan 17, 2012 Mary rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: middle-school-books, vampires

Nigel is a one hundred-year-old teen vampire, who has never had a girlfriend, and who seems to have missed out on all the advantages of vampirism: he cannot mesmerize people by looking at them; he does not have super-human speed and strength; and despite having repeated high school many times, he isn't even a particularly good student. He lives with loving vampire parents and has a pesky younger vampire sister in a town in England. When a new girl, Chloe moves to town, Nigel falls in love with h...more

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Jul 12, 2011 Samantha Tai rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: kids who enjoyed the Wimpy Kid series

Older fans of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series will enjoy reading the first book in Tim Collins series, Notes From a Totally Lame Vampire. As I started reading the book, I have to admit I was a little nervous about how similar in style this book is to the Wimpy Kid books. But the book held my attention and I did want to finish it.

Nigel is a teenage vampire who is approaching his 100th birthday. His vampire parents tell him that his family, which includes his parents and little sister, are the onl...more

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May 04, 2012 Steven R. McEvoy rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-2012

This book took me completely by surprise. Its humor and style are pure genius. It is a parody of most of the mainstream vampire fad that has been taking the book and movie world by storm the past few years. Though to be honest, I would love to see a film version of this done, but keeping the British sense of humor. The story is told in journal format by Nigel, a vampire who is almost 100 and never been kissed. It's like a cross between Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Twilight, Secret Diary of Adrian Mole,...more

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Mar 01, 2013 Camila Castaneda rated it 4 of 5 stars

I chose this book because I have been addicted to paranormal books lately. The plot of this book is that this vampire named Nigel Mullet is the worlds worst vampire; meaning that he hasno supernatrual powers growing up. Nigel goes to school to find a new girl that he has a really big crush on, he's determined to win her heart. Nigel has problems getting the gut in telling her that he likes her. But there are problems with the P.E. teacher too. My favorite quote is " Mr. Jenkins was writhing aro...more

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Oct 14, 2011 Utami rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A light and quick-reading...

Kalau biasanya tokoh vampire itu terkean dingin dan cool, vampir yang satu ini, karena menjadi vampir di usia remaja, jadilah dia vampir yang galau.
Nigel, si vampir remaja ini, naksir temen sekelasnya, Chloe. Di satu sisi Nigel merasa minder, tapi di sisi lain, sebetulnya dia punya gengsi yang cukup tinggi karena dia yakin bahwa vampir itu sebetulnya mempesona.
Nigel seperti remaja biasa lainnya yang dilanda kegalauan dan kebingungan, tentang bagaimana mendekati si puj...more

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Jul 05, 2011 Josie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult

I've never read the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books, so I don't know if this was a parody of those or simply written in the same vein*, but I figured this would be an Adrian Mole for a new generation. I wasn't expecting it to basically be Adrian Mole rewritten... (Only without as much wit. The first half of the book mainly consists of: "Didn't ask Chloe out today. But I will ask her out tomorrow!" SO DO IT ALREADY!!)

It wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, but I did like Nigel's little teeny-bopper sister who...more

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Nov 19, 2010 Mrs. Reed rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: kidbooks

This book was a lot of fun. I never read any of the vampire genre which it riffs on, so I'm sure I missed some of the allusions, but I found it creative and quite captivating. Shout out to Kristal for loaning it to me!

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title link	preview: Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too!
avg rating	preview: Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too! Goodreads rating: 3.56 (809 ratings)
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9221254-notes-from-a-totally-lame-vampire?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1283566488l/9221254.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9221254-notes-from-a-totally-lame-vampire?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too! by Tim Collins[/url]

Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire: Because the Undead Have Feelings Too! (Wimpy Vampire #1)

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