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The Source of All Things: A Memoir

3.65 of 5 stars 3.65 · rating details · 271 ratings · 81 reviews

Tracy Ross never knew her biological father, who died after a brain aneurysm when she was still an infant. So when her mother married Donnie, a gregarious man with an all-wheel-drive jeep and a love of hiking, four-year-old Tracy was ecstatic to have a father figure in her life. A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy’s family to the joys of fishing, deer...more Tracy Ross never knew her biological father, who died after a brain aneurysm when she was still an infant. So when her mother married Donnie, a gregarious man with an all-wheel-drive jeep and a love of hiking, four-year-old Tracy was ecstatic to have a father figure in her life. A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy’s family to the joys of fishing, deer hunting, camping, and hiking among the most pristine mountains of rural Idaho. Donnie was everything Tracy dreamed a dad would be—protective, brave, and kind. But when his dependence on his eight-year-old daughter’s companionship went too far, everything changed.

Once Donnie’s nighttime visits began, Tracy’s childhood became a confusing blend of normal little girl moments and the sickening, secret invasion of her safety. Tormented by this profound betrayal, Tracy struggled to reconcile deeply conflicting feelings about her stepfather: on the one hand, fear and loathing, on the other hand, the love any daughter would have for her father. It was not until she ran away from home as a teenager that her family was forced to confront the abuse—and it tore them apart.

At sixteen, realizing that she must take control of her own future, Tracy sent herself to boarding school and began the long slow process of recovery. There, in the woods of Northern Michigan, Tracy felt called back to the natural world she had loved as a child. Over the next twenty years, the mountains and rivers of North America provided Tracy with strength, confidence, comfort, and inspiration. From trekking through the glaciers of Alaska to guiding teenagers through the deserts of Utah, Tracy pushed herself to the physical limit on her way to becoming whole again. Yet, as she came into her own, found love, and even started a family, Tracy realized that in order to truly heal she had to confront her stepfather about the demons from the past haunting them both. The Source of All Things is a stunning, unforgettable story about a wounded daughter, her stepfather, and a mistake that has taken thirty years and thousands of miles of raw wilderness to reconcile. Only Tracy can know if Donnie is forgivable. But one thing is for certain: In no other story of abuse does a survivor have as much strength, compassion, bravery, and spirit as Tracy displays in The Source of All Things

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Hardcover, 304 pages

Published March 8th 2011 by Free Press

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Jan 30, 2013 Natalie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Ross did a great job with this book. Her journey is laid out clearly and she covers difficult terrain (literally) with smooth writing that gets her point across beautifully. Unfortunately, she glosses over several parts of her story that, I believe, are more important than she even realizes. My issues with the book are also personal. The fact that she continues her relationship with her abuser through her entire life and never seems able to break the ties to her parents, even though she seems to...more Ross did a great job with this book. Her journey is laid out clearly and she covers difficult terrain (literally) with smooth writing that gets her point across beautifully. Unfortunately, she glosses over several parts of her story that, I believe, are more important than she even realizes. My issues with the book are also personal. The fact that she continues her relationship with her abuser through her entire life and never seems able to break the ties to her parents, even though she seems to want them out of her life, really bothers me. In fact, one of her last "thank yous" is to her parents and brother. While I don't believe her sibling has any fault in her abuse, her mother and father have clearly neglected and abused her, and in the end her mother never seems capable of seeing her own role in the abuse.
The forgiveness given and taken back over and over is realistic in her story, but you are left feeling that all of it is completely unresolved. The end of the book is a muddy area of sudden realizations (her father had been drugging her in order to attack her, a last minute discovery at the end of the book that is almost an afterthought instead of clear evidence that her father was planning her attacks)and Ross finally creates a boundary between her own children and her abuser which finally quieted the screaming in my mind for her to protect her kids throughout her story.
Her first marriage to a man named Colin is briefly described but I felt like there was a lot more to explore there. She ends up leaving him and, apparently, has no feelings towards this abusive relationship. She simply breezes into her next adventure and never really examines what it meant.
In the end, this is a work of non-fiction and people don't always do the logical things we expect, especially when they have been traumatized by those who are supposed to protect them.
If Ross was a friend of mine I would suggest she seek long-term counseling because my guess is that unless she deals with some of the loose ends she will continue to be victimized by her parents.(less)

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Jul 04, 2012 Saloma Furlong rated it 4 of 5 stars

Tracy Ross's story is a difficult, yet rewarding read, perhaps not unlike her life journey. What a confusing and bewildering relationship she had with her stepfather! And her mother!

Ross really got me to care about her, as she shared her healing journey. Good for her for not looking away, even though she was being asked to do so by her family.

Courageous and vibrant, Ross tells the story in a way that felt I was there with her... if only someone could have been... to advocate for her when she h...more

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Apr 25, 2012 Syki rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: emotional, memoirs, abuse

I just finished this book yesterday, and definitely needed some time to...think? recover? I don't know how many emotions I ran through reading this memoir. I laughed a bit, cried, and got so angry I wanted to hunt her family down and give them a piece of my mind (not that they would've cared).

This was literally an emotional rollercoaster.

It's amazing how strong Tracy was/is. I felt myself in awe of how she kept pushing on through all adversity, and although sometimes she wasn't very graceful a...more

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Feb 26, 2012 McGuffy Morris rated it 5 of 5 stars

Tracy Ross has written a powerful memoir that will resound with many, assuredly staying with the reader. Her story is open, honest and painfully true.

Losing her father when she was a very young child, Tracy felt blessed in gaining a doting stepfather not long thereafter. They become very close throughout her childhood, and all seemed right in her world. Her family was close; camping trips were commonplace. Her stepfather taught Tracy many things about the Idaho nature, wildlife, and living life...more

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Oct 15, 2011 Alex Templeton rated it 4 of 5 stars

Despite reading positive reviews of this book in more than one place, I put off putting it on my to-read list. Oh, I thought, it'll just be another one of those memoirs about redemption from a crappy childhood, and why do I read so many of those, anyway? Well, the reason why I read them is, when done well, they're definitely worth the time. I know a lot of people (probably myself included) whine that anyone who has ever had anything bad happen to them writes a book about it, and who cares after...more

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Aug 19, 2011 Lynn Tolson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: child-abuse, memoir

Review of The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross

A Healing Journey

The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross is literally and figuratively a healing journey. Ross embraces the wilderness as the vehicle that transports her from victim to survivor. Along the way, Ross seeks to make sense of the child sexual abuse she experienced. There may be maps to navigate the natural world, but no directions for exploring the alien territory of abuse.

In the aftermath of her biological father’s sudden death, Ross’ m...more Review of The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross

A Healing Journey

The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross is literally and figuratively a healing journey. Ross embraces the wilderness as the vehicle that transports her from victim to survivor. Along the way, Ross seeks to make sense of the child sexual abuse she experienced. There may be maps to navigate the natural world, but no directions for exploring the alien territory of abuse.

In the aftermath of her biological father’s sudden death, Ross’ mother marries a man who becomes devoted to her children. At four-years-old, Tracy adores her step-father, who protects her, provides for her, and engages her in outdoor sports, hiking trails, and camping trips. By the time Tracy is eight-years-old, her step-father is also molesting her. He infiltrated a vulnerable family, and advanced on the girl like a vulture. Yet her mother is depressed and disengaged from the family unit, so many steps behind the reality of what her husband is doing that she never catches up to meet Tracy’s needs.

At sixteen-years-old, Tracy is strong enough to fulfill her own need for surviving abuse and betrayals. She enters a boarding school and embarks on wilderness adventures. Sometimes these travels require risking her life. Other times, Tracy finds comforts in nature that manage her self-destructive behavior. Child sexual abuse violates boundaries, and trekking through mountain valleys and desert floors offer boundless opportunities for Tracy’s hope and healing.

Chapter 21, titled “Shooting Stars (or Birth Stories) reveals to the reader how child sexual abuse may affect every area of a victim’s life, including marriage, pregnancy, birth, and parenting. There are no clear paths to healing these wounds; Tracy uses nature like others use art or music.

Tracy confronts her step-father about thirty years after the sexual assaults. She takes him back to the source, where the abuse first occurred. As he admits to abusing her, she questions if she could forgive him. She writes, “Love cuts with a serrated blade, and there are shreds of my feelings that form an unbreakable bond to my parents.” This is my point of departure, where I wonder just how much compassion a survivor of child abuse has to exert for a confirmed sexual predator.

This memoir is well-written and well worth reading. A victim may see that he/she is not alone in the conflicting emotions and ambivalent feelings. Ross shows great courage in telling her story to bring awareness to the absolute devastation of child sexual abuse, and the long journey of recovery.
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Jul 26, 2011 Terry rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, non-fiction

Once I read that this book was expanded from an award-winning essay, it makes sense why I felt like it was two different books smushed together, or, maybe more meanly, an essay with a LOOOOTTTTT of padding stuffed into it to make it a book. There's Ross's story of her abuse, and then there's Ross's memoir of her outdoor-adventure-living-life (quite similar to Pam Houston's books, although I wouldn't say if you like Pam Houston that you would like Ross's book--Ross's tone is much darker and more...more

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Apr 21, 2011 Josephine rated it 2 of 5 stars

When you pick up a memoir like Tracy Ross’ “The Source of All Things,” you almost feel like you can’t say anything bad about it because it’s about something really dark and horrible that happened to her…and by default, it’s like you’re expected to applaud her courage for writing about such a traumatic period in her life. But…I almost got the sense that she was just skimming the surface — as if she were afraid to dive deeper…and that’s at odds with what she ultimately did, which was to confront h...more

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Apr 04, 2011 Cheyenne rated it 4 of 5 stars

I agreed to read this book with a bit of trepidation. Generally, I don't like reading books about abuse because it disturbs and depresses me. Sure, I know it happens to people and I think it's horrid, but I don't necessarily want to read about it. However, what made me want to read this book despite the disturbing topic was how the author used the healing power of nature to pull herself out of darkness and despair. Being a nature lover and a believer of the holiness of unspoiled wilderness, I wa...more

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Mar 22, 2011 Joy Martinez added it · review of another edition

For anyone who has experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a relative, a friend, or as in my situation, a co-worker when I was 19 years old, for me, this book was a great read.

It is not a dark journey through horrible descriptions of a pedophile. Instead it is a story about courage, love, betrayal and forgiveness. Tracy Ross is an incredibly strong and brave woman to go out on that limb and write a memoir about her family and the abuse she endured from the hands of her stepfather. I know how di...more

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Apr 09, 2011 Jenna rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

I received this book as a giveaway, and it was also an Advance Reader's Edition.

It was a quick and easy read. I appreciated the author's honesty and willingness to put her story out there. I found some similarities and parallels between her life and mine, and her bravery in confronting her demons was motivating.

I would reccomend the book in general...the content revolves around sexual abuse, and that is a difficult subject for some people to look at directly. I know many people who never want t...more

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Mar 12, 2011 Mary (BookHounds) rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is one of the best memoirs I have read this year and I read a lot of memoirs. I was truly amazed that Tracy Ross could write such a moving story of her life and the courage to publish it. It is a true story of survival and how nature can help restore the human spirit. I was enthralled with how she captured her surroundings and made minor characters come to life. Her story is one that should inspire others to overcome their own heartache.

I don't know if I could survive the abuse Tracy Ross e...more

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Mar 20, 2011 Jamie Kline rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: shelf-awareness

To read more of my reviews, please visit my book review blog, Bookerella

I received this book for free through Shelf Awareness and was so eager to start reading it. As much as I love fiction, I also love reading true stories because there's no better way to be able to connect with characters than when you know they actually exist. Tracey Ross appears to have a good life when she was very small, living with her loving mom and older brother. Her dad died on a hiking trip when she was a baby, so she...more To read more of my reviews, please visit my book review blog, Bookerella

I received this book for free through Shelf Awareness and was so eager to start reading it. As much as I love fiction, I also love reading true stories because there's no better way to be able to connect with characters than when you know they actually exist. Tracey Ross appears to have a good life when she was very small, living with her loving mom and older brother. Her dad died on a hiking trip when she was a baby, so she doesn't have any memories of him and no father figure in her life. Then one day her mom meets a guy named Donnie and suddenly she felt like she hit the jackpot. He's everything any kid could ask for in a dad and he dotes on her like she is his own, like she's his favorite person in the world. This fragile existence carries on for a while, until one fateful camping trip when something happens that young Tracey can't explain. She knows someone touched her inappropriately and assumes, like her mom does, that someone must have broken into their camper in the middle of the night. It further confuses her when her step-father takes her aside and explains that he was simply "tucking her in". From then on things get worse and the abuse becomes more frequent and obvious. This man who was once her champion, who was her favorite person and she felt safe with now became her own personal bogey man. After years of enduring this and her mom refusing to believe her daughter's claims, she finally runs away to escape. This book follows Tracey as she finally escapes the man she once loved as a father, attempts to move on with her life, and eventually seek to get the one thing that has eluded her all of these years: her step-father's confession.

My thoughts: This book was heartbreaking. No child should ever have to go through this, they are innocent and look to their parents to protect them from all of the evils of the world. But what can they do when the worst evil of all is living with them? I can't imagine everything that Tracey went through and to say she had a rough time getting her life back on track would be an understatement. It's very easy to see that nature held an escape for her from all of her feelings. The wilderness was a place she knew well and held very dear to her heart; it made her feel whole again. If she hadn't had something that she felt so strongly about, who knows where she might have ended up? I was so angry at her mother, the fact that Tracey told her that Donnie was molesting her and she just refused to hear it. As if her young daughter would make up a story so horrifying. She really didn't even listen to her at all; and even after Tracey ran away she still was adamant that Donnie was innocent. It would be almost impossible to get over that; to go from having two parents who you love and you think love you, to not having anyone. I would never turn my back on my child, I don't know any mother that could. It just astounds me. Tracey is extremely courageous, both in telling this story for the whole world to hear and for finally confronting her father about the molestation. She's really been able to turn her life around and that is truly remarkable. I really enjoyed reading this, even as I was horrified by some of the events I could not put it down. It made me laugh at times, pulled at my heartstrings, and made me cheer for this woman who was able to overcome unbelievable emotional pain and not let her abuser destroy her life.

My rating: 4/5 stars(less)

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Apr 24, 2011 Soo Na added it

I wanted to like the book. The cover, and poetic title, were certainly subjectively likeable enough.

The writing never flowed for me. I didn't get a good sense of the narrator, and it was hard to get past what felt like a scarcity of language, not of indulgence or divulgence, not a spare economy of language, but simply that the book never gained traction nor momentum.

Everything seemed built, cobbled together, around the recorded conversation between woman and man, stepdaughter and stepfather.

I...more

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Mar 12, 2011 Kristin (Kritters Ramblings) rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: kritter-reviewed-2011

A memoir that was I excited to receive, but was disappointed as I read it. A story of abuse and forgiveness, but I had the hardest time wrapping my head around the events that happened in this woman's life. At many points I had to continue to remind myself that this was a true story and this woman exists.

As a whole I enjoyed the book. I didn't understand her ability to forget and allow her parents to continue on unpunished and unaffected by the events that happened in her family. They were able...more

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Mar 31, 2011 Tracy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, 2011, memoir

As a young girl, Tracy Ross was sexually abused by her stepfather. This is her story. It's a story about how a man can destroy a childhood and how that child is changed irrevocably- confused between love and hate, wanting everything to be normal again, yet knowing there is no normal. Tracy Ross was desperately looking for a savior and she didn't find it even after she was brave enough to tell. Her mother didn't save her and the "system" didn't save her. Eventually she had to find her own way out...more As a young girl, Tracy Ross was sexually abused by her stepfather. This is her story. It's a story about how a man can destroy a childhood and how that child is changed irrevocably- confused between love and hate, wanting everything to be normal again, yet knowing there is no normal. Tracy Ross was desperately looking for a savior and she didn't find it even after she was brave enough to tell. Her mother didn't save her and the "system" didn't save her. Eventually she had to find her own way out. Which brought her years later to the ultimate confrontation- asking her father what happened and perhaps the most unanswerable question, "Why?".

While this is obviously an emotionally wrought subject, I felt like there was something lacking in the writing. I felt Tracy's anger and outrage and her struggle with still being tied to her family, but the writing itself seemed methodical as if each word were carefully placed. It felt dry at times, without artistry or poetic composition. Tracy Ross is a journalist, writing articles for Backpacker and Skiing, so her memoir read like this type of writing, which is very good, but I would have liked to have seen more.

I understand some other reviewers' surprise that she still had an attachment to her father for so long, but this is very common with abuse victims, and I don't think it's fair to judge unless you've walked in their shoes. The abuser has immensely altered what love is supposed to be. And as Ms. Ross pointed out in the book, studies have shown that the chemical make-up of an abused child's brain has been changed and is different from that of a child who hasn't been abused.

Though, I will concur, I was quite taken aback in the book's acknowledgments when she thanks her father and says she's grateful (!) to him and her mother for the grace to let her tell this story. I just wanted to shake her for that one.

All in all, this was a worthwhile read and would be beneficial for other abuse victims. I especially liked that she had the gift of nature as an escape and that she has used that in her life as a positive outlet as well as a career.

Thank you to the publisher for this advanced reader's copy.
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Mar 28, 2011 Susan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc-edition, personal_memoir_biography

Update: I received a finished copy of the book, and although I didn't completely re-read the book, it looks like the editing errors that I found annoying have been corrected.

Tracy Ross, as a young child, dearly loved her stepfather, more a real father to her than her biological father who died when she was an infant. Until, that is, he started sexually abusing her. She continued to love him, but her love was mixed with hate and confusion. And this conflict colored the rest of her life.

This memo...more Update: I received a finished copy of the book, and although I didn't completely re-read the book, it looks like the editing errors that I found annoying have been corrected.

Tracy Ross, as a young child, dearly loved her stepfather, more a real father to her than her biological father who died when she was an infant. Until, that is, he started sexually abusing her. She continued to love him, but her love was mixed with hate and confusion. And this conflict colored the rest of her life.

This memoir is heartfelt and touching, and I am so sorry that Ms. Ross experienced what she did. The abuse never went to the level of rape in the technical sense, but this story proves that it doesn't have to be that violent in order to be devastating.

The story starts with the adult author going on a wilderness backpacking trip with her stepfather, just the two of them, to the same place the abuse started, an attempt at understanding the past and at getting some closure. And then she tells how it all began.

The story is also about conflicts and contradictions. As a child, Tracy “was a sucker for any four-legged creature” but happily went hunting with her stepfather, killing and helping gut one of the animals that she is a sucker for. I just don't get that. She also sent out mixed messages to her stepdad, which I understand is pretty common for children in this situation. She wants the abuse to stop but she also wants his love and attention. What I had more trouble understanding are the bad decisions she continued to make as an adult. And she made some really bad decisions.

For someone who writes “It states in my personal rule book that I never, ever discuss anything having to do with my period, ovulation, or contraception, and I remember wishing that everyone associated with my pregnancy had been given a copy so that they could to the same,” there was way too much information about childbirth. As an adult, she continued to carry her victim mentality.

As wrong as her stepfather was, I just couldn't understand her mother. She continued to put her daughter in compromising situations, such as demanding that her daughter model a new swimsuit for the stepdad, knowing that there had been abuse and knowing that her daughter was uncomfortable with doing it. Seeming to value the stepdad over the daughter. What kind of mother does things like that? Again, I just don't get that.

While the story is an important one and it was certainly brave of the author to tell it, I do have some problems with it. The copy I read was an advance reader's edition so mistakes are to be expected and the quotes may be changed, but even for an ARE, it was in serious need of editing. Typos can be easily fixed, but there were places where the same sentences were repeated a paragraph or two later, and this didn't seem to be for effect. Or if it was, it wasn't successful. Also, during much of the middle of the book, I felt like I was being beat over the head about the abuse. I know about the abuse. To me, it took away from the story to explain everything with writing again that she had been abused. Sometimes, less is more.

I enjoyed the Alaska stories, her treks in the mountains. I didn't like the parts about the dog mushers because that is a personal sore spot of mine. I know, first-hand as well as second, of too many abuses in the “sport,” and I just can't condone it.

So...overall, this is a touching, honest, and brave book, but the writing was a bit too uneven for me to love it.

Thank you to the publisher for giving me a copy of the book for review.(less)

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Apr 27, 2011 Dale Stonehouse rated it 4 of 5 stars

As sexual/drug/alcohol abuse memoirs go, this book stands out, not so much because it is better or worse than others, but because the author's approach is very different. She vaguely remembers the beginning of being abused by her (step)father at age 8, but has only fuzzy impressions of the abuse into her teen years. The reason for that is a major surprise (and spoiler) which the reader cannot see coming. She weaves tales of her shared love of nature with her father and her struggle to make a rel...more

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Mar 18, 2011 Zoë (In The Next Room) rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: egalley, ebook, memoir-biography

The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross is a memoir centering around the fact that as a young child Ross was repeatedly abused by her stepfather- the man she called Dad since her biological father had passed away when she was only seven months old. Ross loved the new man in her life who filled out her family and did wonderful things like taking them camping in the wilderness. That all changed when she was first sexually abused at only eight years old on a camping trip. It was the first of dozens...more The Source of All Things by Tracy Ross is a memoir centering around the fact that as a young child Ross was repeatedly abused by her stepfather- the man she called Dad since her biological father had passed away when she was only seven months old. Ross loved the new man in her life who filled out her family and did wonderful things like taking them camping in the wilderness. That all changed when she was first sexually abused at only eight years old on a camping trip. It was the first of dozens of attacks, and as Ross finally had the courage to come forward and stop the abuse, she had to deal with the fact that her family didn't believe her and her stepfather was unapologetic. After decades of hidden emotional struggles, she finally confronts her attacker, the man she still calls dad, on a camping trip to the same place where the cycle began. The Source of All Things is Ross' story of how abuse impacted her life, as well as the legacy she hopes to leave for her own children.

The first thing I want to say about this book should be obvious, but I just want to make sure: I am reviewing this as a work of literature. Ross is an incredibly strong woman to have overcome all she has gone through, and it goes without saying that it must have taken incredible bravery to write this memoir in the first place. That said, as inspiring as it is for her to reflect on her abuse and how she was able to move past it, I did have serious issues with the book itself. Ross does a great job at letting the reader know what it is like in the mind of somebody who has been abused, how it lead to a cycle of bad behaviours including an abusive relationship with a man named Colin. Reflecting on one of their very first dates, Ross writes:

"It took a long time for Colin to calm himself enough to accept my apology. I stared past him, wishing I could resume dancing. But when someone tells you how wounded he is- partially on account of your actions- a pair of shackles materializes out of the air and binds you together. I knew I'd crossed a line. I also knew there was no retracting."

Despite knowing instantly that Colin is bad news, Ross doesn't know how to escape his grip on her life. It is devastating to read about her putting herself in harm's way after finally having gotten away from her childhood abuse. Behaviours such as this are unfortunate but understandable, and from what I gathered in the book, quite unsurprising for victims of abuse which can severely damage their self-esteem. Still, too often I found myself knowing what Ross was doing but not quite understanding the why, I wished she would have elaborating more on what she was thinking when she made particular decisions.

Often, I found Ross' actions very conflicting and confusing. She wants to be independent of her mother and stepfather, but continues to accept money from them. She lets them pay for the wedding, but then refuses to let her stepfather walk her down the aisle. She seems to sway back and forth in so many of her decisions, wanting to have it both ways. At times, the reason for this seems clear- that she doesn't want to make a hassle- but then she does something that directly conflicts with her previous actions and as a reader I became confused again.

Ross also allows her stepfather to spend a lot of time with her children, even though he has never really come clean about how he abused her. Then, when he finally does, she decides he's not allowed to see them anymore (or at least very rarely). It is hard for me to fathom in what kind of situation a mother would allow her abuser access to her own children, and it is also something that Ross appears to struggle with. That said, Ross' decision that because her stepfather has finally been honest with her, he should no longer be able to see her children, doesn't really make sense to me as a reader. That's not to say it's wrong- but I read this book to get insight into her situation and the lack of explanation about her actions often left me puzzled and wanting more.

The other problem I had with The Source of All Things is the extensive detail about all of Ross' wilderness adventures like living in Alaska. These sorts of experiences may be interesting to some people, but I was expecting a memoir, not a travel journal, and oftentimes the book got bogged down and distracted by all of this unrelated information. The memoir itself is based on an article Ross wrote, and I can't help but wonder if when she went to elaborate she got quite off-topic in the process. The part of the book that did touch me especially was when Ross talks about what she wants her legacy to be for her own sons, children she never imagined she would have because she felt so damaged by her own childhood. Writing about them, she says:

"One day, when they are old enough to finally read this, I’ll want my sons to know they rescued me. That even though I was terrified by their raw, needy bodies, I loved them the second I touched the silky hairs covering their rice-paper skin. Ever since they were born, they have forced me out of the darkness and into a bigger, happier world."

The Source of All Things definitely shows what the impact of abuse can be long-term on a person and it is an incredibly brave book, and portions of it were quite successful, but I found it too often was off-topic and unclear to be completely successful as a memoir. (less)

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Feb 24, 2013 Michelle Serrano rated it 3 of 5 stars

Honestly, I picked this book out of the library because i liked the cover. I did not even take the time to read the flap. Well to my surprise it was actually quite good! It tells the story of a girl that gets molested by her step father and how she went through that. She seemed to me a very powerful lady, this gives inspiration to stand up for yourself even if you don't have the strength it gives hope. I felt like this book was of forgiveness, or the steps toward it. I recommend this book to any...more

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Feb 28, 2011 Kathy Hiester rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I received this book as an advance reading copy from Free Press and let me state that it is definitely five stars.

Tracy was molested but never penetrated by her stepfather from the time she was eight until she was fifteenish. The memoir takes you through her trials an tribulations. Tracy talks about how she was not given the proper tools and how to this day she doesn't trust her "daddy" around her sons. She gets up the nerve to try and confront her stepfather on a hiking trip for just the two of...more

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Jul 27, 2011 Sherrie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: already-read, 2011-reading-challenge

This was a very hard book to read as I saw what was happening to Tracy. It was also a very moving book. Traveling the path to recovery with Tracy. The confrontation of her father is very hard but Tracy does it to get her healing started. Few survivors are able to find the support and the courage to heal. But Tracy does that beautifully with this book. There were some times when I was reading this book that I wanted to cry and other times when I smiled. Tracy takes you along with her as she finds...more

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Apr 09, 2011 Sandra Stiles rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult, biography-memoirs

Forgiveness is often the hardest thing to do, yet it is also one of the most liberating things. Forgiving the man who sexually abused you is almost unheard of. Tracy Ross has written a heart-wrenching story that takes us into the darkest part of her life. Through her eyes we are shown her life, her pain and her survival. Her first outdoor experiences with her step-father are the experiences she retreats to as she begins to explore and try to understand the situation. The outdoors is her safe hav...more

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Apr 30, 2011 Calla Rose rated it 4 of 5 stars

I received this book pre-release via goodreads...always excited to get a book in the mail I dove in immediately. I will say this is not a book you can read in one sitting. It delves very much into the difficult world of sexual abuse, however, the author's quest (and sometimes need) to seek healing in peace in nature was so honest and well written. I was really glad she didn't try to make everything seem okay. She was really honest about her struggles as a result of the abuse, even the unexpected...more

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Apr 01, 2012 Susan rated it 4 of 5 stars

A hard book to read because it's the story of child abuse and the effect on the author for the rest of her life. Ross's memoir doesn't gloss over what her father did and what the aftermath was for her as a child and then as a young adult, and she shows us how he'd it is for everyone to face such act in a family. Her saving grace is the wilderness, and the stories of her adventures are what keep her moving toward healing. Comparing this book to The Language of Flowers, I'd say this is the better...more

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Jul 23, 2011 Kwinks rated it 4 of 5 stars

I found about this one from Whole Living Magazine. It was really wonderful. Tracy Ross writes like she is sitting at the kitchen table with you and is just telling you her story. I could not put it down. She is so brave and I loved reading how she rescued herself from a really bad situation. It made me wish I was more connected to nature. Does drinking half the world's supply of coffee count?

Highly recommended for fans of The Glass Castle, Fierce: A Memoir, and The Girl's Guide to Homelessness....more

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Apr 11, 2011 Jennifer Cepero rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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May 04, 2011 Tania rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was very moving. Throughout it Tracy tells of her struggles with the sexual abuse her step-father who she sees as her father put her through. However she is in a struggle because she feels like he is a hero from the days before the abuse but a disgusting beast after that she still loves. There are times when I feel she is being to hard on him, yet I put myself in her place and completely understand her position.

Tracy runs away at the age of 14 to escape the abuse and essentially conti...more

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May 17, 2011 Glenda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-read-in-2011, first-reads-win

Tracy Ross confronts her step-father while hiking in Redfish Lake, Idaho, with a tape recorder, demanding a confession. The crime: her own sexual abuse by the very man she had cared for and loved since she was a little girl. The Source of All Things is a memoir about Tracy's struggle to understand the childhood abuse she suffered at the hands of her step-father and how she finds salvation in the raw, natural world.
Ross is an incredibly strong woman to be able to tell such a personal and painful...more

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Mar 09, 2011 Paula Gallagher rated it 1 of 5 stars

Ross was subjected to inappropriate touching and physical contact by her stepfather. Although she herself seems unclear about the particulars, she knows it negatively impacted her mental health. This book is that antithesis of what I love about memoirs. The prose is spare and workmanlike. There is nothing poetic or evocative about any of Ross' descriptions of time and place--she leans heavily on overused adjectives and similies. She may have undergone a journey of self discovery, but the reader...more

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