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The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World
Introverted children are often misunderstood, even by their parents, who worry about them. Engaged by their interior world, they're often regarded as aloof. Easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation, they can be seen as unmotivated. Content with just one or two close friends, they may be perceived as unpopular. Parents fret that they are unhappy and maladjusted. But the t...more
Paperback, 302 pages
Published
December 1st 2005
by Workman Publishing
(first published 2005)
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Aug 07, 2008
Sheridan
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
parents of an introvert
Shelves:
parenting
My oldest son is an introvert. I am too, so you think I would be a good match with him. But I think I carried my issues from being an introvert as a child and caused more problems for him. I wish I had read this when he was younger, but it was still very helpful for me to read now and he is 10 years old.
There was a lot of good ideas of how to respect an innies strengths and help them with their weaknesses. I read certain parts aloud to him and he better understands himself now too!
If your chil...more
There was a lot of good ideas of how to respect an innies strengths and help them with their weaknesses. I read certain parts aloud to him and he better understands himself now too!
If your chil...more
An introvert myself, I was drawn to this book at Kacy F's recommendation (a common reason for me to pick up a book). I haven't gotten too far into it but I like it so far and I do recognize my child in much of it too. I love the notion that he (or anyone) can be successful, happy, and connected "in an extroverted world" without having to conform in as many ways as some might think.
I must start with the disclaimer that I do not have an introverted child. Both of my children are extroverts, but I am an introvert which is why I picked up this book while studying different personality types. Much of the information contained in the book about how to best help an introverted child I am already aware, but what struck me most and what I have not heard elsewhere is the fundamental biological difference between introverts and extroverts that can actually be tested. I found all the...more
This book gave me lots of insights into the two main introverts in my life, my husband and my oldest child. Most notably that introversion absolutely has a physiological basis--"innies" brains are physically different from extrovert brains, and that's just fine. Laney uses these physical differences to explain behavior that can otherwise seem off-putting. She emphasizes appreciating introverts' strengths and fostering their potential, giving advice about what won't work and what will. Having rea...more
What a useful book! I do recommend this for anyone interested in learning about the differing temperaments of children, specifically how anyone sits on the introvert/extrovert continuum.
First you are introduced to the topic with a pretty in-depth explanation of how both tendencies can be traced back to brain activity. In other words, trying to make an introvert into an extrovert is like trying to make a right-handed person write with the left. We are who we are, and trying to wring something di...more
First you are introduced to the topic with a pretty in-depth explanation of how both tendencies can be traced back to brain activity. In other words, trying to make an introvert into an extrovert is like trying to make a right-handed person write with the left. We are who we are, and trying to wring something di...more
Jul 17, 2011
Joseph
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
anyone who knows an introvert
Shelves:
psychology
The psychology of introversion is something of an interest of mine, so when I saw this book at my library's book fair, picking it up was a no-brainer. I was quite impressed. Books on introversion tend to be rather well-written (the authors generally being introverts themselves) and this is no exception, being quite thorough and accessible without sacrificing accuracy. It includes a great many tips on dealing with introverts throughout their childhood, but the true beauty of this book is that man...more
Interesting -- lists how introverts learn and a lot of it is similar to unschooling:
Introverts:
* Require time and space, and need to act at their own pace
* Thrive in a patient, accepting atmosphere
* Private -- need to have a sense of ownership over their space and belongings
* Like clear instructions and information
* Enjoy polishing and deepening their ideas and impressions, taking time
* Appreciate feedback and input AFTER they have come to understand the concept.
Introverts:
* Require time and space, and need to act at their own pace
* Thrive in a patient, accepting atmosphere
* Private -- need to have a sense of ownership over their space and belongings
* Like clear instructions and information
* Enjoy polishing and deepening their ideas and impressions, taking time
* Appreciate feedback and input AFTER they have come to understand the concept.
If you have a child who is normal at home but gets terrified, clams up, or acts really shy and weird in social situations, then you have to read this book! I have an introvert myself and this book really helped me to understand her. Since then I've been a walking commercial for this book and its companion The Introvert Advantage (which is by the same author, same idea but written for the introvert him/herself rather than for the introvert's parents.) Great book, no matter what age your introvert...more
This wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. It didn't teach me much I hadn't already figured out, through 6 years of experience with my own introvert. It reinforced that I was doing a lot right, and made me feel fortunate that our family members all fit so well together in terms of temperament, but too much felt like overgeneralization, and I didn't really get what I was looking for, which was a better understanding of how to help my child navigate school as an introvert.
A lot of interesting information about the fundamental differences between introverted and extroverted children, however, my own opinion is that it fell into the self fulfilling prophecy realm a little. I felt that the book really believed that labeling your child and telling them about how they are different and why they are different all the time is a good thing...where I thought it was a bit much. But definitely some good tips.
If you have or suspect you have a child or spouse or really know anyone who is an introvert, then you should read this book. It really shed some light on what life is like for Lara, who is a definite introvert. There was a nice little questionnaire in the beginning of the book which Lara scored 24 out of 27. Introvert. Contrast that with Vivi who scored 8 out of 27. Extrovert.
I found that the best way to read this book was little by little. I would read a few pages and then ponder and try to pu...more
I found that the best way to read this book was little by little. I would read a few pages and then ponder and try to pu...more
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Jul 19, 2012
Kathee
is currently reading it
Just 1/4 of the way into it, and I've already identified one of my kids as an introvert that I didn't know was. This helps me understand him so much more now. The child I already knew was an introvert I'm learning how to communicate with. This is a great book.
Eh, a bit of useful information but overall nothing I didn't already know about my kid. Just more labels to slap on him. And I found the generalizations a bit too broad. But some good tidbits of information scattered throughout.
I learned so much about introverts and extroverts from this book. Really an interesting way to understand the brain differences and reasons behind behavioral differences. Has certainly opened my eyes to much in parenting.
I might rename this book "The Manual for Mitchell Dart" because it describes him to a T. This book is a must-read for parents with introverted children. I wish I had read it years ago. Everything makes so much more sense to me now. Being an extroverted parent, I've always had a hard time understanding where Mitchell is coming from, but now, I get it.
Jun 27, 2008
Marcia
added it
Laney has put together a good book for people interested in helping their introverted kids in a fast paced, social world. I was interested in finding ways to support my daughter as she embarked on a summer of campus and fun classes that she might find anxiety provoking. I found "The Hidden Gifts" helpful in understanding that it is important to support who your child is and foster their strenghts rather than trying to make them someone that society desires. There was a little bit too much inform...more
Recommended by a regular patron
this book has affected my life. i've learned things about myself as an introvert, my friends as introverts, and most importantly, how to parent an introverted child. i'll forever look at caleb's discipline, obedience, sports, schooling, etc. differently because of this book. so glad i read it!
loved the tips..helps me a lot..
I enjoyed this book. As an introvert myself with 2 introverted children and an extroverted husband and third child - it was great to understand the different worlds better. I resonated with a lot of what she shared, and also found many of the explanations and helpful ways to interact with one another helpful. A lot of information within the book and one of those books I need to own and refer back to throughout the years.
I really enjoyed this book. I never thought of myself as an introvert but when I read the first chapter, I got very emotional because I recognized myself right away. Tarin is an introvert, so I began to read the book to learn more about her. In the process, I learned a lot about myself, too, and also found ways to deal with my little extrovert, Julian.
Mar 31, 2008
Judy
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Parents, introverts and the people who love them.
Shelves:
non-fiction-psych
"Introvert" is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. Laney does a great job of setting the record straight. Maybe the quiet kid is not shy or weird. S/he may just be an introvert. Might provide insight for introverts raising extroverts and vice versa. A breath of fresh air!
Oct 27, 2008
Ruth
marked it as to-read
Oh, I hope this is a good book...just the title and the description gives me validation and hope, both as an introverted person and as the parent of a child who is shaping up to be one. (Next subject: how to understand my extroverted son!! Talk about baffling.;-D)
I just started this book the other day. It's excellent so far and hard to put down. It is very interesting, informative, and helpful. I recommend it for anyone who wants to learn to understand themselves or someone they know.
It clarified for me how to be attuned to my sons needs. He is very much an introverted child. It also explained some of the discomfort he has in bigger group situations, and when other adults talk to him
This book is very helpful if you have an introverted kid. I should re-read it once a year!
reading yet again...since no one has wanted to leave the house these past couple weeks...
May 08, 2013
Satya
marked it as to-read
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Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America’s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada.
More about Marti Olsen Laney...
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