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Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies
In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire. Drawing on his twenty-five years as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, Dr. Bader demonstrates that rather than being programmed by biology or society, sexual fantasies and preferences are really psychological antidotes to unconscious dangers. Armed with this n...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published
January 18th 2003
by St. Martin's Griffin
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I actually finished this book over the weekend, but I've been putting off reviewing it because I haven't really been sure what I wanted to say about it.
I was drawn to pick it up when I saw it at the library a couple of weeks back partly because I'm going through an intellectual "learning more about sexuality" kick at the moment, and partly because there are parts of my own sexuality and psyche I've always been frustrated about not understanding - parts of me where I really, really want to know *...more
I was drawn to pick it up when I saw it at the library a couple of weeks back partly because I'm going through an intellectual "learning more about sexuality" kick at the moment, and partly because there are parts of my own sexuality and psyche I've always been frustrated about not understanding - parts of me where I really, really want to know *...more
This is a marvelous book. At the very end, Bader tosses off a sweeping philosophical statement that provides a key to his thinking. In a few sentences, he discards the Freudian fantasies of perverted, sadistic children whose original impulses are more or less directly expressed in adult human "perversions" such as an obsession with anuses or high heels or punishment. Instead, with compassion and the kind of common sense that is all too rare in the professionally trained of any profession, he pro...more
Oct 30, 2008
Heather Shaw
added it
It's not "arousal" that I recently read, it's "Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It --And Men Don't Either."
Okay at first I wasn't much impressed. The book seemed standard fare as in fantasies are a way of dealing with childhood trauma and adult fears. But then, I got to thinking -- maybe pornography, dominance issues, and prostitution aren't generally dealt with from a fear/trauma perspective. Bader's point, for example, that some men worry too much about taking care of or not hurting...more
Okay at first I wasn't much impressed. The book seemed standard fare as in fantasies are a way of dealing with childhood trauma and adult fears. But then, I got to thinking -- maybe pornography, dominance issues, and prostitution aren't generally dealt with from a fear/trauma perspective. Bader's point, for example, that some men worry too much about taking care of or not hurting...more
it's actually a really great book and i'd give 5 amazing stars... if it were a tad shorter. at the latest with chapter 3 it's obvious what the author wants to say and there isn't anything astonishing/exciting/new coming after that.
This book is giving me more to think about with regard to sex and what is considered pathological. It's a very interesting read.
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