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The Kid

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4.03 of 5 stars 4.03  ·  rating details  ·  6,206 ratings  ·  506 reviews
The syndicated sex advice columnist of "Savage Love" tells a no-holds-barred story of an ordinary American couple who want to have a baby, except that in this case, the couple happens to be Savage and his boyfriend.
ebook, 256 pages
Published May 1st 2004 by Penguin Group (USA) (first published September 1st 1999)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Joel
Apr 08, 2011 Joel rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Breeders and homos alike
Recommended to Joel by: Donna
Dan Savage brings the same frank, occasionally filthy voice familiar from his popular sex advice column and podcasts to his first book, published about a decade ago. Unfortunately, he also brings along his tendency to get sidetracked with political rants and his penchant for beating the same points into the ground over and over.

I really enjoyed the majority of this book, which tells the story of Dan and his boyfriend trying to adopt a child, the whole nerve-wracking process from researching thei
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Emma
As a huge supporter of gay adoption/gay rights in general, this book instantly appealed. Honestly, I enjoy that feeling of smugness I get from reading something I agree with.

I think a book like this should be required reading for all the 'crazy fundies' out there. If Dan seems preachy sometimes it's only because we live in a society which refuses to let go of the whole gay issue - their sexuality must be near the forefront of the minds of gays and lesbians practically all of the time. All he wan
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Faith
My book group read this book. I imagine it would be a 5-star book for most couples who want to adopt, especially LGBT couples and couples planning an open adoption. To me, it was less compelling, but I enjoyed it and learned from it.

True to form, Savage the sexual advice columnist is savagely honest. For example, he admits that he wants a healthy infant, not "damaged goods" (he acknowledges how offensive that term is). But much of his honesty is hilarious, as with his description of the "deep pr
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Mel
So, I am childfree. I don't have children, I don't want children, and I have a lot of general disdain for the prevalence of bad parenting and people who stumble into parenting as an inevitable next step rather than a reasoned choice. I am frustrated that we are making new people at such a rapid rate when there are so many who need homes already. I like kids, and I like parents. I just get exasperated, though, by a lot of things that have to do with kids and parents.

Which is all to say that for m
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Ty
Feb 19, 2008 Ty rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Savage enthusiast
Shelves: sexuality
I bought this book because I could not believe it when I saw it for sale in a town of 1200 in central Italy. I imagine that if I didn't speak English fluently, a few of the puns/wit would have been lost on me as they were literally translated into the Italian text. As luck would have it though, they could be added to my reading of the book. I suspect the common convertion of wit to acronym (as an easy method to carry over the joke over a while) would be lost on most people who don't know that as ...more
Punk
Non-Fiction. Dan Savage and his boyfriend decide to adopt a kid, and Savage takes us through all the subsequent paperwork, counseling, doctor appointments, and freakouts.

Savage often comes off as blunt and uncaring in his weekly sex advice column, but this shows his tender underbelly -- the Dan that loves his boyfriend and is excited about having a kid and who worries a lot, about everything. He's also a man who speaks openly about his sex life, the box of bondage gear in the basement, the way h
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Castalia
I suppose I should say I mostly enjoyed this book despite it being written by Dan Savage. I've never been a fan of his style, his perpetuation of many gay male stereotypes, and his philosophy that cheating is A-OK and possibly inevitable. I liked seeing the adoption process unfolding, and the ending was quite nice, but most of the "characters" weren't very likable for me. I think this book could have benefited from a good editor.

ETA: I should add that in the time since I've read this book, Dan S
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Peter Pan
I DON'T CARE WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT, DAN SAVAGE IS A RACIST, TRANSPHOBIC, BIPHOBIC, POMPOUS, ASSHOLE AND THEREFORE EVERYTHING HE DOES IS TERRIBLE AND GROSS THE END
Clare
Gay rights. Adoption. Parenting.

All issues I feel strongly about.

But this book featured the word "cock" far too much for this married heterosexual midwestern mom (even though I consider myself liberal).

Dan Savage is a sex columnist from Seattle, and his column was left in the lunchroom at work frequently when I worked in Portland, OR. So I am familiar with his style of writing. It's a little too explicit for me - and I read about freaky vampire sex.

It is supposed to be in confessional style, b
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David
A very sincere, painfully sharp, and incredibly witty account of a gay couple adopting a baby. What impressed me most is the wonderfully creative humor Savage uses to convey very serious and somber political and ethical issues in contemporary American society.

The real issues are reflected, but also deflected in such a way that while you understand the horrors and frustrations experienced, you are presented with them in a way that both challenges views and gives you a chance to laugh them off. I
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Ciara
Dec 17, 2008 Ciara rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: adoptive parents, gay parents, unexpectedly pregnant people, adopted kids
i guess the title of this book is fairly self-explanatory: it's all about sex columnist dan savage & his boyfriend adopting a child together. they went through an agency which put them in contact with a young pregnant homeless gutter punk who was in a family way. the agency got her an aptment to live in during the pregnancy & made sure she got good nutrition & medical care & everything. dan & his boyfriend were able to meet with her & get to know her story while she was p ...more
Astrid
Very much enjoyed reading of the relationship growing between Dan, Terry and Melissa, the homeless teen who is part of their open adoption. Very poignant and true. I did think the sections talking about the current situation of adoption, the ability of gay couples to adopt and have children together did get a bit overbearing. It could be because I wholeheartedly support the rights of gay parents to do so and wish they had all the benefits and legal guarantees that straight people do. If he was h ...more
Nicola
Touching, snarky and utterly charming! I defy you not to turn into a pool of goo after reading this. Dan Savage, who, as ever, makes a refreshingly blunt narrator, takes us through his experience of adopting a kid from a homeless "gutter-punk". He doesn't pull any punches and addresses the politics and the iss-ues while remaining disarmingly personal (and personable) about the whole process.

I am a cold-hearted, cynical person who doesn't want kids for a very long time (thankyouverymuch), but I l
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♥ Marlene♥
Finished this book this morning. I had only 20 pages left and wanted to read so it was the first thing I did. Yes it was a very interesting book. One thing that surprised me was his language. I liked it! Did not expect that from an American writer. lol. It was interesting to see how the open adoption go's and also to read about the gay men's view.
Now I am going to read book 2. so glad Joanna offered this as a 2 offer in the swap.

ETA: November 5 2013. Reading this review I think I meant he was u
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Katie
A memoir from sex advice columnist Dan Savage about adopting a baby with his boyfriend (and later, spouse). I found this so enjoyable and readable and couldn't put it down, which is funny because I have no children, and no interest in children or the adoption process. It just goes to show you, Dan Savage is so funny and articulate that I'd probably read a grocery list he wrote and still give it 5 stars.

He thoroughly delves into the open adoption process in the Pacific Northwest, where he resides
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Alexis
this was another book john brought along for me to puerto rico and was read pool side. i hope i'm not biased remembering these lovely spring break reads. this book re-opened my eyes to the myriad prejudices and injustices that gay and lesbian couples face when adopting and parenting in the US. dan's story of he and his boyfriend terry was so great and was really inspiring and made me want to punch conservative politicians in the nuts so they would stop having conservative babies.
Maureen
I am a huge Dan Savage fan so it is no surprise I loved this book. As a woman who is currently preparing for my first child, I found Dan's very different account of starting his family through adoption to be very affirming and relate able. There is no doubt that the adoption process is nerve-wracking and sometimes heart-wrenching but I appreciated how Dan found humor in it and was not afraid to laugh at the process and himself. Readers should be prepared for Dan's unconventional and sometimes le ...more
Lizz
A good book that helped me deal with ideas I had about open adoption. It definitely changed my mind towards pro-open adoption. Good writing and a very engaging story.

My one quibble with Dan is that he blankets the word "Christian" all over the book without qualifying, which is really needed. Fundamentalist Christian is what he means. My fiance's church is about the gayest place ever and everyone there considers themselves a Christian.
Karen
For those who may not be familiar with Dan Savage, Google his sex column, Savage Love. If you’re a conservative Christian, a fundamentalist Muslim, a lesbian, a grandmother, a grandfather, a straight man, a straight woman, a gay man, a Republican or a Democrat, you might come across a passage in this book that will hurt/offend you. Savage is an equal-opportunity offender. But you may also laugh. So there’s that.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll go ahead and admit that I liked this book and it
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HeavyReader
Mar 18, 2014 HeavyReader rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: homophobes
Shelves: queer, life-stories
Today I bought this book for 50 cents at a thrift store. It just shot up to the top of my "to read" list. I've wanted to read it for quite a while. Can't wait!

UPDATE: I enjoyed this book, although in parts of it, Dan Savage comes across as a total asshole. Early on in this book, he goes on a really sad fat-phobic rant. Is he trying to be funny? I dunno.

I thought the book got especially good when Savage and his partner find a young, pregnant gutter punk woman who wants them to adopt her baby. Sav
...more
Susan
An inside look at the open adoption experience of a gay couple about fifteen years ago. Well-written, down to earth account of the pluses and minuses of an open adoption process and the challenges that this couple faced, told honestly and humorously. The language is often explicit.
Kris Ripper
I love Savage. I'm an isolated queer in rural California; Savage's podcast is a lifeline to the sex positive world. I ordered this book the day I called in my first order of sperm to the cryobank, as a token of good luck for queer parenting.

(It worked. Probably it was more about ovulation and timing, but we'll chalk it up to literary mojo.)

The Kid reads at times like a collection of essays with only a very vague theme, and at other times like a memoir with a clear through-line, making it feel a
...more
Alina
Moving, inspiring, and hilarious.

Peppered with research, science, anthropological examinations of a culture practically right before the tide began swinging towards a more open, accepting America, especially considering the movement now around marriage equality. (Not that this book is about this -- it's about Dan and Terry creating their family outside those constraints -- but STILL you could see how fascinating it is to read this book in 2014 and how important it is to understand the battles t
...more
Anna Cate
Dan Savage is paranoid. He keeps anticipating persecution from Christians and other "homophobes" and encountering real financial and emotional support from them.
Lauren
This was such a great insight into adoption, which I knew very little about. This was a hilarious and moving read. I want Dan Savage to write my life.
Carolyn
I can't say enough good things about this one. It reads fast, and there are so many emotional moments, in the best way possible. A must read!
Malin
I've been reading Dan Savage's Savage Love for years and years now, and when I'm in the mood for Podcasts (which I have to admit, I rarely am, I just can't seem to get into them, it puzzles me greatly), I often listen to his Savage Lovecast. He's generally quite open about himself, his life and his experiences, so I already knew that he was married and that they had an adopted child. My BFF Lydia recommended this audio book to me when I visited her in the States in early October, and as my husba ...more
Valerie
May 11, 2009 Valerie rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Debbie, Tori, Zab, Amy
Recommended to Valerie by: sense of humor
Wow! I now know a lot about Dan Savage's sex life. And I long to send him playlists of dance music.
Hey Sailor!
Ugh, Dan Savage stop being so fatphobic.
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Dan Savage is a writer, TV personality, and activist best known for his political and social commentary, as well as his honest approach to sex, love and relationships.

Savage’s sex advice column, “Savage Love,” is syndicated in newspapers and websites throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. He is the Editorial Director of The Stranger, Seattle’s weekly alternative newspaper, and his
...more
More about Dan Savage...
The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics Skipping Towards Gomorrah It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living Savage Love: Straight Answers from America's Most Popular Sex Columnist

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“Terry cooked for me, but I resented having to do dishes. As I saw it, Terry liked cooking-he enjoyed it, he told me so. Well, I didn't enjoy washing dishes- I hated it, and I'd told him so-and didn't see why I should have to do something I hated after he got to do something he liked. I mean, that wasn't fair, was it?” 6 likes
“Terry gets annoyed when I describe his mother as cold. She isn't cold, he insists, just a little standoffish, and not so gabby as certain members of my family. While Terry's mom doesn't believe in asking intrusive questions, like "How are you?", she's still a warm and loving mom; just quiet and undemonstrative.” 4 likes
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