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The Kid

4.03  ·  Rating Details ·  7,832 Ratings  ·  581 Reviews
The syndicated sex advice columnist of "Savage Love" tells a no-holds-barred story of an ordinary American couple who want to have a baby, except that in this case, the couple happens to be Savage and his boyfriend.
ebook, 256 pages
Published May 1st 2004 by Penguin Group (USA) (first published September 1st 1999)
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Feb 28, 2010 j rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Breeders and homos alike
Recommended to j by: Donna
Dan Savage brings the same frank, occasionally filthy voice familiar from his popular sex advice column and podcasts to his first book, published about a decade ago. Unfortunately, he also brings along his tendency to get sidetracked with political rants and his penchant for beating the same points into the ground over and over.

I really enjoyed the majority of this book, which tells the story of Dan and his boyfriend trying to adopt a child, the whole nerve-wracking process from researching thei
As a huge supporter of gay adoption/gay rights in general, this book instantly appealed. Honestly, I enjoy that feeling of smugness I get from reading something I agree with.

I think a book like this should be required reading for all the 'crazy fundies' out there. If Dan seems preachy sometimes it's only because we live in a society which refuses to let go of the whole gay issue - their sexuality must be near the forefront of the minds of gays and lesbians practically all of the time. All he wan
Oct 13, 2008 Mel rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So, I am childfree. I don't have children, I don't want children, and I have a lot of general disdain for the prevalence of bad parenting and people who stumble into parenting as an inevitable next step rather than a reasoned choice. I am frustrated that we are making new people at such a rapid rate when there are so many who need homes already. I like kids, and I like parents. I just get exasperated, though, by a lot of things that have to do with kids and parents.

Which is all to say that for m
My book group read this book. I imagine it would be a 5-star book for most couples who want to adopt, especially LGBT couples and couples planning an open adoption. To me, it was less compelling, but I enjoyed it and learned from it.

True to form, Savage the sexual advice columnist is savagely honest. For example, he admits that he wants a healthy infant, not "damaged goods" (he acknowledges how offensive that term is). But much of his honesty is hilarious, as with his description of the "deep pr
Ana Rînceanu
This was such a sweet and funny, and a little sad, but mostly really, really happy adoption story. I really like the writing style and I appreciated how frank the author is about his experience.
Jun 23, 2015 Liza rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adoption
I've been on an adoption memoir binge lately, but this is the first memoir I've read about open adoption, and I adored it. It's very Dan Savage, so if you're a reader/listener of Savage Love you can anticipate the tone and how at times you'll be thinking, 'Dan! You can't say that; how offensive!'. It's incredibly honest and vulnerable, which is a side of Savage I'm not as familiar with. It's obvious that he and Terry considered every aspect the adoption would have on them, the kid, the birth par ...more
Mar 05, 2010 Castalia rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I suppose I should say I mostly enjoyed this book despite it being written by Dan Savage. I've never been a fan of his style, his perpetuation of many gay male stereotypes, and his philosophy that cheating is A-OK and possibly inevitable. I liked seeing the adoption process unfolding, and the ending was quite nice, but most of the "characters" weren't very likable for me. I think this book could have benefited from a good editor.

ETA: I should add that in the time since I've read this book, Dan S
Apr 04, 2015 MrsAgnello rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Enjoyable but not life-changing. An informative, entertaining, and worthwhile read.
Dec 04, 2007 Punk rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: queer, non-fiction, memoir
Non-Fiction. Dan Savage and his boyfriend decide to adopt a kid, and Savage takes us through all the subsequent paperwork, counseling, doctor appointments, and freakouts.

Savage often comes off as blunt and uncaring in his weekly sex advice column, but this shows his tender underbelly -- the Dan that loves his boyfriend and is excited about having a kid and who worries a lot, about everything. He's also a man who speaks openly about his sex life, the box of bondage gear in the basement, the way h
Nov 08, 2007 Ty rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Savage enthusiast
Shelves: sexuality
I bought this book because I could not believe it when I saw it for sale in a town of 1200 in central Italy. I imagine that if I didn't speak English fluently, a few of the puns/wit would have been lost on me as they were literally translated into the Italian text. As luck would have it though, they could be added to my reading of the book. I suspect the common convertion of wit to acronym (as an easy method to carry over the joke over a while) would be lost on most people who don't know that as ...more
Jan 02, 2015 Auriel rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Though I'm giving this book a 4-star rating, I feel I should mention a small caveat. I actually listened to this book on audible read by Dan Savage himself. Since I'm already a fan of the author's Savage Love podcast, I think this made it a much more enjoyable "read!" I highly recommend the audiobook!
Dec 24, 2013 Susan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
An inside look at the open adoption experience of a gay couple about fifteen years ago. Well-written, down to earth account of the pluses and minuses of an open adoption process and the challenges that this couple faced, told honestly and humorously. The language is often explicit.
Peter Pan
Oct 16, 2012 Peter Pan rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: no
Jul 04, 2012 Clare rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Gay rights. Adoption. Parenting.

All issues I feel strongly about.

But this book featured the word "cock" far too much for this married heterosexual midwestern mom (even though I consider myself liberal).

Dan Savage is a sex columnist from Seattle, and his column was left in the lunchroom at work frequently when I worked in Portland, OR. So I am familiar with his style of writing. It's a little too explicit for me - and I read about freaky vampire sex.

It is supposed to be in confessional style, b
Nov 04, 2008 Ciara rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: adoptive parents, gay parents, unexpectedly pregnant people, adopted kids
i guess the title of this book is fairly self-explanatory: it's all about sex columnist dan savage & his boyfriend adopting a child together. they went through an agency which put them in contact with a young pregnant homeless gutter punk who was in a family way. the agency got her an aptment to live in during the pregnancy & made sure she got good nutrition & medical care & everything. dan & his boyfriend were able to meet with her & get to know her story while she was p ...more
Apr 20, 2015 BarbN rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Dan Savage's hilarious, touching, sometimes surprising story of their adoption of DJ is can't-put-down reading. The only reason I'm giving it four stars instead of five is really a bit of pettiness on my part. I'd love to hand this to several people I know who are on the fence about gay parents, but his language would stop them before they even got started. I'm pretty comfortable with profanity, including my own blue mouth, but even I find it a little over the top. The word he uses most often to ...more
Sep 06, 2009 David rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A very sincere, painfully sharp, and incredibly witty account of a gay couple adopting a baby. What impressed me most is the wonderfully creative humor Savage uses to convey very serious and somber political and ethical issues in contemporary American society.

The real issues are reflected, but also deflected in such a way that while you understand the horrors and frustrations experienced, you are presented with them in a way that both challenges views and gives you a chance to laugh them off. I
Feb 02, 2012 Astrid rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Very much enjoyed reading of the relationship growing between Dan, Terry and Melissa, the homeless teen who is part of their open adoption. Very poignant and true. I did think the sections talking about the current situation of adoption, the ability of gay couples to adopt and have children together did get a bit overbearing. It could be because I wholeheartedly support the rights of gay parents to do so and wish they had all the benefits and legal guarantees that straight people do. If he was h ...more
♥ Marlene♥
Finished this book this morning. I had only 20 pages left and wanted to read so it was the first thing I did. Yes it was a very interesting book. One thing that surprised me was his language. I liked it! Did not expect that from an American writer. lol. It was interesting to see how the open adoption go's and also to read about the gay men's view.
Now I am going to read book 2. so glad Joanna offered this as a 2 offer in the swap.

ETA: November 5 2013. Reading this review I think I meant he was u
Touching, snarky and utterly charming! I defy you not to turn into a pool of goo after reading this. Dan Savage, who, as ever, makes a refreshingly blunt narrator, takes us through his experience of adopting a kid from a homeless "gutter-punk". He doesn't pull any punches and addresses the politics and the iss-ues while remaining disarmingly personal (and personable) about the whole process.

I am a cold-hearted, cynical person who doesn't want kids for a very long time (thankyouverymuch), but I l
Meg - A Bookish Affair
Dan Savage is the writer of the sex-column, Savage Love. In this book, we get to see a different side of him as he and his boyfriend take a major step to adopt a child. The story is humorous and gives some interesting insight into the open adoption process. It was also interesting to hear about adoption from the aspect of a gay couple as the process can often prove more difficult for same sex couples than hetero couples.
Jul 14, 2007 Alexis rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: alreadyread
this was another book john brought along for me to puerto rico and was read pool side. i hope i'm not biased remembering these lovely spring break reads. this book re-opened my eyes to the myriad prejudices and injustices that gay and lesbian couples face when adopting and parenting in the US. dan's story of he and his boyfriend terry was so great and was really inspiring and made me want to punch conservative politicians in the nuts so they would stop having conservative babies.
May 23, 2015 Bryan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Even though the legal landscape has changed so much in the past 15 years, this book still remains so relevant. I really appreciate Dan Savage's humor and this really humanized what can feel like a very overwhelming process.
Nick Adams
Aug 26, 2014 Nick Adams rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
P good.
Samantha Walker
Dec 10, 2015 Samantha Walker rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: gave-up
Didn't make it past the "fat people shouldn't be allowed in public" rant on page 38.
I've been reading Dan Savage's Savage Love for years and years now, and when I'm in the mood for Podcasts (which I have to admit, I rarely am, I just can't seem to get into them, it puzzles me greatly), I often listen to his Savage Lovecast. He's generally quite open about himself, his life and his experiences, so I already knew that he was married and that they had an adopted child. My BFF Lydia recommended this audio book to me when I visited her in the States in early October, and as my husba ...more
Apr 07, 2014 Karen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
For those who may not be familiar with Dan Savage, Google his sex column, Savage Love. If you’re a conservative Christian, a fundamentalist Muslim, a lesbian, a grandmother, a grandfather, a straight man, a straight woman, a gay man, a Republican or a Democrat, you might come across a passage in this book that will hurt/offend you. Savage is an equal-opportunity offender. But you may also laugh. So there’s that.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll go ahead and admit that I liked this book and it
Mar 07, 2014 HeavyReader rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: homophobes
Shelves: queer, life-stories
Today I bought this book for 50 cents at a thrift store. It just shot up to the top of my "to read" list. I've wanted to read it for quite a while. Can't wait!

UPDATE: I enjoyed this book, although in parts of it, Dan Savage comes across as a total asshole. Early on in this book, he goes on a really sad fat-phobic rant. Is he trying to be funny? I dunno.

I thought the book got especially good when Savage and his partner find a young, pregnant gutter punk woman who wants them to adopt her baby. Sav
Apr 07, 2014 Katie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A memoir from sex advice columnist Dan Savage about adopting a baby with his boyfriend (and later, spouse). I found this so enjoyable and readable and couldn't put it down, which is funny because I have no children, and no interest in children or the adoption process. It just goes to show you, Dan Savage is so funny and articulate that I'd probably read a grocery list he wrote and still give it 5 stars.

He thoroughly delves into the open adoption process in the Pacific Northwest, where he resides
Brandon Thompson
Jan 02, 2017 Brandon Thompson rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book's subject matter is of great interest to me - it's a hilarious, touching, and enlightening look into the journey of adoption. Moreso, it is the story of adoption by a gay couple whose experience is very unique and important. As a straight man with plenty of LGBTQ friends, I figured most details of Dan and Terry's experience wouldn't come as a huge surprise to me. But there were definitely some complicated aspects I never would have considered, such as how to decide on their adopted son ...more
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Dan Savage is a writer, TV personality, and activist best known for his political and social commentary, as well as his honest approach to sex, love and relationships.

Savage’s sex advice column, “Savage Love,” is syndicated in newspapers and websites throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. He is the Editorial Director of The Stranger, Seattle’s weekly alternative newspaper, and his
More about Dan Savage...

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“Terry cooked for me, but I resented having to do dishes. As I saw it, Terry liked cooking-he enjoyed it, he told me so. Well, I didn't enjoy washing dishes- I hated it, and I'd told him so-and didn't see why I should have to do something I hated after he got to do something he liked. I mean, that wasn't fair, was it?” 5 likes
“Terry gets annoyed when I describe his mother as cold. She isn't cold, he insists, just a little standoffish, and not so gabby as certain members of my family. While Terry's mom doesn't believe in asking intrusive questions, like "How are you?", she's still a warm and loving mom; just quiet and undemonstrative.” 4 likes
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