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71st out of 373 books
—
1,077 voters
Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws
Celebrated transsexual trailblazer Kate Bornstein has, with more humor and spunk than any other, ushered us into a world of limitless possibility through a daring re-envisionment of the gender system as we know it.
Here, Bornstein bravely and wittily shares personal and unorthodox methods of survival in an often cruel world. A one-of-a-kind guide to staying alive outside th...more
Here, Bornstein bravely and wittily shares personal and unorthodox methods of survival in an often cruel world. A one-of-a-kind guide to staying alive outside th...more
Paperback, 231 pages
Published
May 2nd 2006
by Seven Stories Press
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First of all, I wish I had bought the paper copy instead of the ebook edition. If you're considering purchasing the book, get the paper. I am going to buy the flesh and blood copy even though I already bought the ebook.
This book is worth it.
Second of all, If you know of somebody who has expressed a wish to die, please, please, please give them this book.
Now for my review:
For a good part of my life I've been an outlaw, cast as a freak by people, and this has made me suicidal. And I firmly believe...more
This book is worth it.
Second of all, If you know of somebody who has expressed a wish to die, please, please, please give them this book.
Now for my review:
For a good part of my life I've been an outlaw, cast as a freak by people, and this has made me suicidal. And I firmly believe...more
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Ok.
So I get all the hoopla about Kate Bornstein and I can respect her work and her life, but I don't agree with a lot of it. The first part of the book was just scattered and ill-prepared. Her generalizations like "all lesbian and gay people are transgendered because the transcend gender" just leave me feeling a little squicky. And I'm sure quite a few lesbians and gay men would agree with me on that.
That being said, her actual list of 101 things to do is pretty good. Most of them are just good...more
So I get all the hoopla about Kate Bornstein and I can respect her work and her life, but I don't agree with a lot of it. The first part of the book was just scattered and ill-prepared. Her generalizations like "all lesbian and gay people are transgendered because the transcend gender" just leave me feeling a little squicky. And I'm sure quite a few lesbians and gay men would agree with me on that.
That being said, her actual list of 101 things to do is pretty good. Most of them are just good...more
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This was my first experience reading Kate Bornstein though I’d heard about her (at length) from a friend who enjoys her work. I had also listened to her interview on the Radical Guy Podcast (a great podcast on transgender issues, very informative, you should check it out by the way). So I was familiar with her overall message and her direct and accessible manner of presenting it.
Hello Cruel World is directed at teens and so I take it, Bornstein did not approach all the issues she usually address...more
Hello Cruel World is directed at teens and so I take it, Bornstein did not approach all the issues she usually address...more
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I think this book was badly named. Had the subtitle been 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Freaks, Weirdos and Other Outlaws (say)--it would still have ended up in the hands of the teens who really needed it and yet would not have suggested the book was *only* for teens. Some adults will miss this book, and that's too bad. Like some other reviewers I was impressed with Kate's humor and articulation, but put off by the fact that so much of it was focused on sexuality. I think sex DOES need to be in...more
Ok, I'll admit it- I have a big, fat crush on Kate Bornstein. Big brains are a huge turn on.
But as far as the *book* goes, I'd have to give it 5 stars. As someone who works with queer and questioning youth, I have found this book to be invaluable- both for myself and for the youth I work with.
I've seen some reviews call in to question the focus on sexuality in a book meant for younger readers. Newsflash: youth are expressing their sexuality and gender at younger and younger ages and looking for...more
But as far as the *book* goes, I'd have to give it 5 stars. As someone who works with queer and questioning youth, I have found this book to be invaluable- both for myself and for the youth I work with.
I've seen some reviews call in to question the focus on sexuality in a book meant for younger readers. Newsflash: youth are expressing their sexuality and gender at younger and younger ages and looking for...more
Whether struggling with sexuality, bullying, or abuse, just a few things that can lead to depression and thoughts of suicide, the book Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, & Other Outlaws is a brutally honest look at a multitude of possibilities other than ending one’s life. Kate Bornstein exposes her own personal struggle as a child and teen, her journey to find herself, and how she would eventually accept herself and own her identity.
Whether struggling with sex...more
Whether struggling with sex...more
I would hazard a guess that this is the most badass self-help book on the market. Kate Bornstein’s advice on how to climb out of your suicidal hole ranges from that which is simple (moisturize! touch yourself… not like that – unless you want to!) to that which is off-kilter (remove the word ‘hello’ from your vocabulary and tell people what you really feel when you see them… ummm, yeah, I didn’t really get that one). Bornstein is refreshingly blunt – drugs, cutting, starving yourself are all bett...more
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Jul 30, 2011
Metaspinster
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
everyone (I'd like to know)
Recommended to Metaspinster by:
Martha
Like Kate Bornstein, this book defies categorization. The first half is part Gender Studies 101 peppered with autobiographical tidbits but uses this "queer theory for the layperson" paradigm to get at the pain and emotional oppression of Otherness(es) of all types. The one "rule" of Bornstein's guidebook may be "don't be mean," but the overall purpose of the book is to provide (suggest) alternatives to death and/or conformity.
I haven't been suicidal since I was 16 years old, but I still find mu...more
I haven't been suicidal since I was 16 years old, but I still find mu...more
I picked this up earlier this year as a bit of an introduction to Kate Bornstein's written work. I avoid self-help books like the plague, but the title of this book has intrigued me for a couple of years now. The "Don't kill yourself! Kill what you don't like about yourself" message is concrete and positive, and I think it could be helpful for a lot of people.
Recalling my own teen years, I think this book is a vital resource for teens or young adults, and not limited to queer youth. But I think...more
Recalling my own teen years, I think this book is a vital resource for teens or young adults, and not limited to queer youth. But I think...more
It's just an overall good book for outsiders and outlaws of all sorts, a bit of comfort from someone who's been there, and encouragement to just be yourself and do whatever it takes to make life worth living. I love that it doesn't talk down to young people or make distinctions about age appropriateness. The irreverence of this book and how it *actually* talks about things like sex might horrify some parents. If I had a child who was struggling I'd give this to them in a heartbeat. She's really...more
"Look, do you mind that I'm talking so much about gender?" Not at all, Kate...not at all. I've been meaning to read this book for a couple of years, and finally got around to it. While I'm not a teen, or suicidal, I don't think that you have to be in order to benefit from this book. (It would help to be some kind of outsider, though.) I don't agree with, or know how to make sense of, everything that Kate is saying here. A few parts were kind of alienating. But, I think this book is better and mo...more
I love that this book does not merely just make a case of why life is pretty awesome and worth living, but truly acknowledges that dangerous self harm/suicidal ideation is not just something that can be magically removed from someone without being replaced with some alternative behavior/thoughts. Sometimes these alternatives are not "ideal" or "healthy," but anything that will keep someone tethered to the Earth in their darkest moments is something of value. Thank you Kate your honesty and honor...more
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As a more-than-reasonably 'troubled' teenager, I've gone through my fair share of struggles. During a period of my life where I was heavily considering offing myself, my mom of all people went out and bought me this book on her own accord and asked me to read it.
Can I just say that I love my mom?
This book made me feel like I wasn't alone. Though it focused mainly on sexuality and gender laws, I still found myself relating to it very much. Bornstein's view on suicide is unique and I greatly appre...more
Can I just say that I love my mom?
This book made me feel like I wasn't alone. Though it focused mainly on sexuality and gender laws, I still found myself relating to it very much. Bornstein's view on suicide is unique and I greatly appre...more
I love this book because it is controversial and it is great for people who really are suicidal. When your suicidal you don't want to hear about all the shit you should do like sit down and write a journal or call a friend. This book finally UNDERSTANDS that and gives you some REAL adrenaline producing alternatives, even though they might be dangerous (not eating, running away from home, cutting). I think doing these things are better than DYING at least. I'm glad the author had the courage to p...more
It's been awhile since I was a suicidal teen, but looking over the suggestions in here, I have to say they really would have helped me realize the world was larger than the small, cruel high school one I was trapped in, and to hold out, day by day, until it was over and I could find others like me. Some of the things mentioned might have made me feel sadder, like "find a friend," because there were none, but I should have cut class more often than just in senior year, and if they were all going...more
There are some things I would criticize about this book and the way it's written, but you can't beat the message. The list of alternatives isn't half bad either. I do wish that it wasn't quite so gender and sexaulity focused; I realize that that's the author's area of expertise, but I felt like you need a stronger background in gender studies than I have to get the most out of it. Also, from what I've read from the author in the past, I'm pretty sure she believes in/acknowledges the existence of...more
Kate Bornstein is unapologetic and fierce as hell. I disagree with some of her perspectives on gender and theory things, but the meat of the book - the titular "alternatives to suicide" - were well worth the read. People who have never been suicidal are unlikely to understand some parts of this book, since some of the 'alternatives' she proposes are scary to say the least. But they're alternatives TO suicide. I read this book as permission to do what you need to just stay alive, so that you can...more
Kate Bornstein is a phenomenal human being, and I think that this book should be required reading for basically all humans, especially those who have ever considered suicide, dealt with depression, or who have ever felt like outsiders, but even for those who haven't. I say this because, even if you have never personally felt alienated or even suicidal, chances are, at some point in your life, you will encounter someone who has, and this book gives all kinds of excellent advice on how to understa...more
I find kate bornstein's authorial voice really...umbridge-esque? kind of frighteningly sweet and jolly and twee. it's really off-putting. having said that, it's unusual to find a book that takes its non-judgemental harm reduction approach so seriously. Anorexia or drug abuse are better for you than suicide, because you can hope to recover someday, but you won't find many self-help books admitting that. that bumps it up to three stars for me.
but honestly, you would probably be better off writing...more
but honestly, you would probably be better off writing...more
#itgetsbetter
So I wrote a pretty in-depth review of this book for PrettyQueer.com if you're interested as well, but here's the gist:
This book is amazing and I urge anyone who is a teen or other person who feels different and is struggling with depression, hopelessness or suicidal thoughts to read it.
I especially encourage parents (and teachers and librarians, who are usually motivated to censor by parents so this goes back to you, parents) to be open-minded enough to be okay with your teens rea...more
So I wrote a pretty in-depth review of this book for PrettyQueer.com if you're interested as well, but here's the gist:
This book is amazing and I urge anyone who is a teen or other person who feels different and is struggling with depression, hopelessness or suicidal thoughts to read it.
I especially encourage parents (and teachers and librarians, who are usually motivated to censor by parents so this goes back to you, parents) to be open-minded enough to be okay with your teens rea...more
I have wanted to read this book for years. Like most of Bornstein's work, sometimes you have to ignore some overly eccentric ideas and identify the core message of the work. Although some of Bornstein's ideas are too out there (even for me,) I really enjoyed this book overall. Bornstein has had actual experience with suicidal ideation; readers can relate and trust her advice. Her experience gives her an extremely realistic view-point on the topic. Doing anything-- even negative things like cutti...more
This book is super weird and Kate Bornstein is a total nutter. With that said there's a lot of great qualities about this book. Cutter, Transgender, Scientologist, Dyke, Addict, Masochist, Magician and Anorexic are just a few of the many labels Kate pins on herself from time to time from her revolving collection of identities. She's had loads of experience trying to figure out how to be her authentic self in this world and I thought she had some good points and some thought provoking ideas to sh...more
I think this book took itself more seriously than I had expected it to too. Which was ok.
Ummm...I think it really gets to the idea that being miserable is about not feeling in control of your identity/identities. And that the best way to do that is to think about your identity, develop it, name it, be glad to be yourself however ridiculous that may be, and there WILL be people that love you for that. And Don't Be Mean about it.
Some of her best things were about acknowledging your own mythology...more
Ummm...I think it really gets to the idea that being miserable is about not feeling in control of your identity/identities. And that the best way to do that is to think about your identity, develop it, name it, be glad to be yourself however ridiculous that may be, and there WILL be people that love you for that. And Don't Be Mean about it.
Some of her best things were about acknowledging your own mythology...more
Let me begin by saying that "like" isn't really a word I would use to describe this book. It wasn't a fun read. I wasn't sucked in. However, I do think it's a very important book, and very brave. I don't think a teen would check it out, but it is the sort of thing that they would read secretly in the library and it might save their life. Literally. The balancing act would be having it available and letting teens know it was available, without making it a big thing . . . "Here's a book about bein...more
Nov 13, 2008
Ciara
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
troubled teens, troubled teens-at-heart, therapists to teens
i guess i read this book strictly from curiosity. i am not a teenager & i haven't been wild about kate bornstein, particularly. but perhaps if i had a distraught teenager in my life--or a surly one, or one that wouldn't talk to anyone--i would pass this book along. it has many coping mechanisms ideas for young folks (& folks of all ages who may be having some trouble getting through their days) who feel alienated from their families, schools, & general communities, maybe because they...more
One of my favorite books! Once I bought about five to give away to my closest friends as a gift and something to look into when they were feeling down. Everybody who feels down and in need of a smile needs to have this book within reach. It's humorous, has sharp edges and is supportive. The book is not just for outlaws, although the writer defines herself as an outlaw. I have more books from her en met her a few times. She's truly inspiring and kind.
I LOVED THIS BOOK! I can't say enough good things about it. Even if you're not a teen or suicidal or a freak or outlaw, READ THIS BOOK. If you haven't read a million self-help books (like I have), it may change your life. If you have, it'll bring you an insane amount of joy.
Lots of references mentioned for learning new stuff, too, which I always love.
This is a FABULOUS resource for anyone who just wants to be a better, self-loving person.
Lots of references mentioned for learning new stuff, too, which I always love.
This is a FABULOUS resource for anyone who just wants to be a better, self-loving person.
The beautiful thing about this book is it is realistic. It does not offer false promises but talks honestly and frankly about suicide, depression, coping mechanisms, etc. It is also accessible. While Bornstein concentrates mainly on struggling with one's gender or sexuality, her logic is applicable to struggles any sort of identity or characteristic that is labeled "abnormal" in our society.
3.5 STARS
I have pretty mixed feelings about this book. It helped me a bit but there are a few suggestions in the list that would make me hesitate to recommend it freely. I suppose if you're really on the edge of suicide, any of these alternatives really are preferable. But if you're not extremely serious, some of these suggestions could make things worse instead of better.
I have pretty mixed feelings about this book. It helped me a bit but there are a few suggestions in the list that would make me hesitate to recommend it freely. I suppose if you're really on the edge of suicide, any of these alternatives really are preferable. But if you're not extremely serious, some of these suggestions could make things worse instead of better.
This is the coolest self-help book I've ever read! I love Kate's positive attitude and approach to helping the outsiders get by without necessarily fitting in. Although I read this as an adult, I can see how a young person--esp. someone just coming out or going through a tough time--would find this book helpful. The tone is encouraging, not at all patronizing, funny, and real. Kate rocks!
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Kate Bornstein is a Jewish-American author, playwright, performance artist, and gender theorist.
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“I have this idea that every time we discover that the names we're being called are somehow keeping us less than free, we need to come up with new names for ourselves, and that the names we give ourselves must no longer reflect a fear of being labeled outsiders, must no longer bind us to a system that would rather see us dead.”
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12 people liked it
“We have looked for myths that include us in great novels, music, the latest comic book, or even some stupid advertising campaign. We'll look *anywhere* for a mythology that embraces people like ourselves.”
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2 people liked it
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