The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

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The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

by Neil Strauss (Goodreads Author)

3.72 · rating details · 4,044 ratings · 671 reviews

Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is "not" fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author, spent two years living among th

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Hardcover, 464 pages

Published September 6th 2005 by Regan Books

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Jun 07, 2007

Amitai rated it

Recommends it for: those (men) who chase phantoms instead of dreams.

I know I'm taking a risk by even acknowledging its existence and my familiarity with its contents. It may not be interpreted kindly that an Orthodox rabbi (in training) reads *this* widely. But this book tells a story of ethical tension that is, hands down, the most powerful treatise on morals and group dynamics I have ever read. Period.

I found it at once the modern man's sefer mussar of choice, and the endgame of every single Reality TV show every made. But it is not for everyone.
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Apr 01, 2009

Derek rated it

Impossible to put down. This is a fascinating tale of a guy with marginal skills with the ladies (despite fame), who sets out on a life changing mission to master picking up women. I dare you to try and not get hooked in the first few pages. The characters are philanderers, gigolos, wannabes, braggarts, and every dysfunctional category in between.

Their quest is obvious, and thrust in your face; to hook up with as many beautiful women as possible. Strauss becomes prolific at the soci...moreImpossible to put down. This is a fascinating tale of a guy with marginal skills with the ladies (despite fame), who sets out on a life changing mission to master picking up women. I dare you to try and not get hooked in the first few pages. The characters are philanderers, gigolos, wannabes, braggarts, and every dysfunctional category in between.

Their quest is obvious, and thrust in your face; to hook up with as many beautiful women as possible. Strauss becomes prolific at the social marketing skill, and becomes addicted to his casanova killer abilities. But as is so often the case, the higher levels of his skill (seduction) lessens the inner drive and excitement he feels towards his conquest. The chase becomes not only boring, but a bit frightening. Not a spoiler here, but the author reflects. He ponders. He accidentally finds an inner moment observing from third person where his life has now taken him. He wonders if it is all he wants to become. He looks closer at his bizarre friends. All of them have major issues. Is this what he really wants?

Strauss has written several best sellers, as well as for Rolling Stone, and literally has no competition when it comes to spinning tales of this type.

For this genre, I recommend picking up the best three.
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed
Written by the guru of the seduction community. His encyclopedia-like book reads like a PHD college course on seduction. It is the template for what Strauss uses in the Game. It lays out the techniques, terminology, and methodology for anyone to learn.

The other great one is The_Professional_Bachelor_Dating_Guide_How_to_Exploit_Her_Inner_Psycho.
This is a devious sexual persuasion guide for hooking up, written by a psych doc who cruised the nightclubs with great success for a decade. It also contains an asset protection guide to set up pre-marriage to shield you from divorce.

Get these three, and get ready to laugh and learn. Really interesting books.
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Oct 28, 2007

Chelsea rated it

I have a habit of thinking I understand guys. I have three younger brothers and no sisters, and I've read a lot of comic books. I was telling Chance, Evan and Adriel about teratomas on Friday and they were really grossed out; I assume that guys don't tiptoe around me out of deference to my delicacy. But I think that assumption is a mistake.

Back when I used to read Rolling Stone, I used to read Neil Strauss. He seemed (see Chuck Closterman) more enamored with the concept of stardo...more

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Sep 19, 2007

christy rated it

Although well-written, this book is appalling and sad. Ultimately this peek into "the secret society of pickup artists" is not as enlightening as the cover art, book jacket and title would like us to think. And I can't help but feel a writerly disappointment in Neil Strauss for having embraced something that brazenly revels in its own misogyny.

Don't be fooled; Mystery--who is a classic example of what happens when one is deprived of love and validation as a child-- tries to...more

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Dec 01, 2008

Jenny rated it

Recommended to Jenny by: Pete's book club

Oh wow, hard to say if I'm horrified or fascinated or what. I guess some of both. Good thing I'm reading this for book club cuz I can't wait to discuss. I can't believe this is for real. And then what I'm wondering is, what are girls supposed to do? Just sit there and look pretty? Hmm. But here's some quotes I liked:

"In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls ...more

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Aug 25, 2008

Debbie rated it

Recommended to Debbie by: Elizabeth

Shelves: trash, non-fiction, politics, feminism

This is a surprisingly good book that I would never have read if it hadn't been strongly recommended by a friend who was reading it and was totally fascinated by the gender politics. The author, Neil Strauss, has ghost written some celebrity memoirs, and writes for Rolling Stone and the New York Times. In other words, this man can write. The thing that makes this book so interesting is the author's running monologue about gender, specifically masculinity and the ways that boys and men are taugh...more

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Apr 06, 2008

Kirsty rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

I spent the first 100 pages utterly confused. Was the point of The Game to meet lots of girls, get a girlfriend, or just have lots of sex? One wannabe-PUA crows about losing his virginity - it's a horrible, painful experience which he can't wait to end. But afterwards, he says that he's excited because this will take the pressure off, and allow him to approach more women, presumably to have even more painful, awful sex with women he doesn't like.

After a few hundred pages I realised tha...moreI spent the first 100 pages utterly confused. Was the point of The Game to meet lots of girls, get a girlfriend, or just have lots of sex? One wannabe-PUA crows about losing his virginity - it's a horrible, painful experience which he can't wait to end. But afterwards, he says that he's excited because this will take the pressure off, and allow him to approach more women, presumably to have even more painful, awful sex with women he doesn't like.

After a few hundred pages I realised that The Game isn't about sex, or getting a girlfriend, or falling in love. It's just about showing off in front of other men. They're collecting women, but it could just as easily be fast cars, or the high score on Zelda, or bear carcasses. PUAs go out, recite their lines, get phone numbers or a 'kiss close' (a girl kisses you, then leaves), then go home to type up their conquests on PUA message-boards. They could just make the whole experience up, and they would have the same response. Strauss himself realises that "it was really shared emotions and experience that creates relationships, not seven hours of [PUA] routines followed by two hours of sex".

I learned a few rules of succeeding in The Game:
1. Don't care about women. That way, if they knock you back, it doesn't matter. They're just numbers to you, so anything hurtful they say or do is irrelevant.
2. Get used to rejection. One wannabe-PUA spent a weekend trying to chat up exactly 100 women - and "even managed to get a few phone numbers". If 3-5 women gave him their numbers, that means that 95 didn't. It takes unshakable self-esteem to be rejected 95% of the time and still push on.
3. As soon as you can, puff up your chest and crow about your successes to any other PUA who will listen.

The most disturbing part of the book - hypnosis - is mentioned, but never explored. Strauss mentions a PUA who "approached the girl...and within thirty seconds she was passed out in [his] arms". This is never mentioned again in the book, but is the most sinister aspect, crossing the line from harmless pickup routines into nonconsensual sex.

Excluding that aspect, I do feel the need to defend The Game. It's just a series of behaviours and word patters, and women don't just 'fall for it'. We can be dumb sometimes, but we're not that dumb. As the book says, women want sex just like men do, they "just don't want to be pressured, lied to, or made to feel like a slut". If a woman wants to go home with a guy, she will. If she doesn't want to, she won't. Is there really any harm in a guy trotting out some bullshit lines, just to get a girl to notice him? These men are sad, lonely, and socially inept. They need all the help they can get.

As I'm sure you can guess, in the book I discovered, word-for-word, a routine that was used on me a few months ago. I met a guy in a club, he started reciting all the lines. We talked for a while, and when he asked for my number I reminded him that I had a boyfriend - to which he said that he just wanted my number so we could continue our conversation about Wuthering Heights (you at the back, please stop laughing at my gullibility). He seemed pretty harmless - I certainly wasn't going to sleep with him, but new friends are always good - so I gave him my number. He texted a few times, then started to mention sex, at which point I told him to please go away, then deleted his number.

At the time, I figured that he hadn't got anything out of this interaction. I clearly wasn't interested in him, and we never met up again. Yet, in terms of The Game, he won. He left with a girl's number - a girl with a boyfriend, no less. He could have gone home and bragged online about the pocketful of phone numbers he got, even if they wouldn't have got him any closer to sex or a girlfriend. He could have had approval from other men, and that is the whole point of The Game.(less)

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May 26, 2007

John rated it

For a book that targets (and caters very well to) young males, "The Game" truly belongs in the hands of a twenty-something cynic.
Parts of the story read like a self-help book, which was very funny in and of itself. But what I found to be interesting (on some level, perhaps) was that Strauss has taken his version of "rags-to-riches" and turned it into colorful, sexual, hopeful prose that reveals a protagonist traveling down a highway of mayhem to a destination of confus...more

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Jul 26, 2010

Erin Noble rated it

Shelves: fun-nonfiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I started reading this book out of curiosity; it quickly became more. Strauss demonstrates throughout the book that he is not your average sex-obsessed PUA (pick-up artist) nor is he a sensationalist writer. He's taken a subject with a crude potential of 10 and made a meaningful piece out of it.

I'm struck by the similarities between PUAs and salesmen. I had to deal with many alpha salesman personalities in the lumber industry, so the PUA strategies were not unfamiliar: Demonstra...moreI started reading this book out of curiosity; it quickly became more. Strauss demonstrates throughout the book that he is not your average sex-obsessed PUA (pick-up artist) nor is he a sensationalist writer. He's taken a subject with a crude potential of 10 and made a meaningful piece out of it.

I'm struck by the similarities between PUAs and salesmen. I had to deal with many alpha salesman personalities in the lumber industry, so the PUA strategies were not unfamiliar: Demonstrating social value, yes-ladders, creating an emotional connection... translate these respectively to having a good reference, a good sales pitch and "shooting the shit" and you have an excellent sales manual. Through his analysis of socially dominant people, Mystery understands more than just how to pickup women: he understands how to attract people.

The conclusions Strauss draws about the importance of being oneself and acting in line with your core values (through reflection on the uber-analytical PUA Tyler Derton) are on point. He even begins yearning for permanence community (an emotion my age group, the 20-somethings, can readily identify with), and founds the rather twisted Planet Hollywood as a result.

Strauss gets a lot of concepts that my "20-something" struggles with, a self-identification that contributes to my liking the book so much. But, especially towards the end of the book, Strauss mounts the saddle of a very high horse (haha this review thing is fun!). He presents himself as the anchor of Planet Community, the calm in the storm, the stereotypically steadfast protagonist wading through the world's chaos. Regardless of whether this is true, the distasteful presentation left a bitter taste in my mouth and I can't help thinking that his writer's lens is foggy from all that action he's been getting.

~EN

Further psychological analyzing:

Frogs Into Princes, Richard Bandler and John Grinder. These two guys appear in the book as mysterious gurus who see a jedi in Strauss and teach him "the force", imploring him to use it only to make women happy (great power comes with great responsibility, right??). Their method of reading body queues and hypnotism is outlined here, the original and probably still greatest work on Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP).
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Apr 05, 2009

Marrick rated it

I learned that I am what, in pick up artist ("PUA") parlance, is called a "natural." I've never had problems meeting women. So I didn't pick this book up for its instructional content. Rather, I was intrigued into reading this book by curiosity. I wanted to see how my life experience stacked up with my preconceived notion of a true PUA. I envisioned a PUA as being a highly confident, suave, cool operator that women swoon over without being able to control themselves. I ...moreI learned that I am what, in pick up artist ("PUA") parlance, is called a "natural." I've never had problems meeting women. So I didn't pick this book up for its instructional content. Rather, I was intrigued into reading this book by curiosity. I wanted to see how my life experience stacked up with my preconceived notion of a true PUA. I envisioned a PUA as being a highly confident, suave, cool operator that women swoon over without being able to control themselves. I learned that my concept of what the PUA is, prior to reading this book, was wrong. In fact, PUAs are very insecure, needy, but intelligent people that have figured out how to give off the illusion of being confident and interesting, to trick (or some may say "persuade") women into casual, short-term and primarily physical relationships. Yet, they long for the long-term relationships, built on emotional connections, that us "naturals" seek and often maintain, but have mistakenly chosen what they perceive to be the best path to get there- i.e., picking up many women constantly. I'll cease any further substantive review because I don't want to spoil the book for anyone interested in picking it up (pun intended).

But I will add two more comments:

First, viewed in a general sense, the concepts discussed in this book within the context of meeting and successfully "closing" women, can be applied to all other aspects of life. I plan to incorporate them into my practice and use some of them to "pick up" new clients and negotiate and close business deals. Many of the concepts in Strauss' book were restatements of concepts I found in marketing and persuasive psychology books I've read.

Second, the writing is good and it flows well despite Strauss' style of doing the little things that writing instructors and agents caution against- for instance, his frequent use of descriptors that end in "ingly," and switching tenses too often in the same chapter. Some writers can pull this off and still give you a good read. Strauss is one of those writers. It's a page turner.

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Feb 21, 2009

Davidshackelford rated it

A fast-paced, very well-penned, fun, intriguing story of social psychology, nobodies becoming superstars, emotional self-destruction, and the birth of the seduction industry. Neil studies the art of the pickup from ground zero, starting under the wing of the famous Mystery, and then hopping from guru to guru, building a name for himself as a master of women while simultaneously reflecting on how absurd, magical, and ultimately destructive the whole thing is.

Oddly enough, this book's...more

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Nov 16, 2008

Chance rated it

This book was fucking terrible. I'm ashamed to have read it.

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Mar 01, 2008

James rated it

With a subtitle like “Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists,” I was expecting more of a how-to or an expose. Luckily I was wrong.

Strauss’ The Game is a fascinating look at an American subculture’s moment in time. It is a captivating story that rivals Hell’s Angels and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test in its engrossing tale of American hubris, endeavor, success, and failure.

The book itself is beautiful, packaged like a bible with gold embossing and a red ribbon bookm...moreWith a subtitle like “Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists,” I was expecting more of a how-to or an expose. Luckily I was wrong.

Strauss’ The Game is a fascinating look at an American subculture’s moment in time. It is a captivating story that rivals Hell’s Angels and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test in its engrossing tale of American hubris, endeavor, success, and failure.

The book itself is beautiful, packaged like a bible with gold embossing and a red ribbon bookmark. But it is TOO LONG. And that might be the only thing I didn’t like about it because despite that, there is plenty to keep the reader entertained:

As Strauss refines his abilities as a PUA (Pick-up Artist (this book not for the AFoH (Acronym Faint of Heart))), he is assigned an interview with Tom Cruise (other celebrities who make appearances include Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Courtney Love). Strauss is immediately taken by Tom Cruise’s charisma and likability. Strauss notes that Cruise naturally exudes all the tactics and behaviors PUAs spend months and years trying to master in order to win women’s affection. Tom Cruise introduces Strauss to Scientology and Strauss further identifies the same tactics being used by Scientology recruiters to attract converts as the PUAs use to attract women. There are some really creepy similarities made between Pick-up Artists and Scientologists in this book. So now I don’t know if I’m more freaked out by Scientologists or Mormons.

And now that I have read The Game, once I read How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read, there won’t be a graduate student out there who can resist my advances. Yes!

But most importantly, The Game contains the BLE (Best Line Ever):

“I want a woman I can respect for her art, like a singer or a super-hot stripper.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Gents, next time you head out for the titty bar, tell your significant other that you’re going to an art museum. It is her art and she is dancing it for you.

And there was also this little nugget of wisdom from Neil Strauss that I found interesting:

“For most of their childhood, females are conditioned to act subservient to male authority figures. Once they grow up, a certain subset of them - many of whom end up in Los Angeles - move through the world psychologically stunted, constantly dumbing themselves down in the presence of the opposite sex. They believe that the techniques they used to manipulate their fathers will work just as well on the rest of the world, and often they’re right.”

Poor Britney.(less)

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Aug 17, 2007

Djm Meltzer rated it

This book is primarily about this dude Mystery, who is the host of a VH1 show The Pickup Artist, where he shows really socially inept guys how to pick up girls. This is the FUNNIEST BOOK in the history of mankind. If you are a computer geek of any kind, you will die laughing while reading this book.

Mystery is a young computer nerd living with his parents in Toronto. He spends all day online posting to message boards about how he is awesome picking up girls, but when he's not posti...more

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Apr 25, 2007

Elena rated it

Shelves: bizarre

A very interesting read. I couldn't believe that there are people who actually dedicate a significant portion of their lives to the art of picking up women. I have never read anything like this before.

It shows that a little self confidence and some clever (however manipulative) maneuvering can go a long way. The writer Neil Strauss and his story about how he turned from nerd to stud is interesting.

There were many parts that shocked me. Mostly the parts that involved b...more

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May 30, 2007

Jafar rated it

This was an easy and mindless train/tube read, but I had to keep the book flat on my lap to hide the title after I saw a few women rolling their eyes. Since I've moved to London I've noticed that I'm not the only one who likes to take a sneak peek at what others are reading and then give them a meaningful look.

So, here’s Neil Strauss’s story as he claims. He had written books and articles about rock stars and porn stars. He had access to a lot of backstage parties and glamorous Holl...moreThis was an easy and mindless train/tube read, but I had to keep the book flat on my lap to hide the title after I saw a few women rolling their eyes. Since I've moved to London I've noticed that I'm not the only one who likes to take a sneak peek at what others are reading and then give them a meaningful look.

So, here’s Neil Strauss’s story as he claims. He had written books and articles about rock stars and porn stars. He had access to a lot of backstage parties and glamorous Hollywood galas, but he wasn’t getting any. He was just another AFC – average frustrated chump. (There are a lot of acronyms and pick-up lingo in this book. There’s a glossary for you at the end to refer to.) He signs up for various pick-up workshops and meets every PAU (pick-up artist). This not only immensely improves his situation with women, it propels him to the top of the pick-up society. You read about all these different pick-up schools, each with an egomaniac at the top, that operate like cults and compete for business and clients and demand loyalty.

The book is about the story of his involvement and then disillusionment with the pick-up community. It’s not a manual on to how to pick up women, even through there are lots of advice and sample field reports scattered throughout the book. Some of the advice is just the common sense things that you know it yourself and hear from everyone. Their more specialized techniques go something like this: In order to get women to stay with you and like you during the crucial first few minutes, approach them with a "peacocked" appearance and some eye-catching gadgets, games, and stories. Once past the initial phase, start applying an assortment of manipulative psychological mind games. They claim a lot of success with their techniques (not very credible, but easier to believe when they do their field tests on Sunset Strip). I found most of the repertoire of their opening lines and stories not just corny, but so asinine that if they work on any sizeable portion of the female population, I’ll be dipped, fried, and hot-damned (expression borrowed from David Foster Wallace). The part about the manipulative psychological mind games, however, is interesting (and useful).

Strauss is honest about the emptiness and loneliness that eventually come with this lifestyle. They're a bunch of closet nerds looking for self-validation, but they overdo it. Dehumanizing the opposite sex eventually turns into self-dehumanization. They start with the feeling that they’re the alpha males, but soon they realize that “sarging” is for losers. A real alpha male doesn’t run around after women, acting like a clown and reciting memorized routines. So they set out to do something big. They rent a mansion in Hollywood and start “Project Hollywood” to expand their business and become rich and famous. Herds of gullible students come and go. Women come and go too. Egos clash. Everything falls apart. Eventually, Strauss is broken down by a woman who beats him in his own game.

The story, even if true in its entirety, is not that entertaining. The writing is mediocre at best. Lots of dumb and irrelevant drivel about Tome Cruise and Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears and Courtney Love, just to self-aggrandize and blow this book to 500 pages.
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Sep 18, 2008

Josh rated it

hmmm dangerous territory writing about this book. I mean basically what I learned was things I sort of knew and learned the hard way about meeting girls. There are some really funny things and some really annoying things to the pickup artist lifestyle. The long and short of it being know who you are and embrace that fully.There are tricks and gimmicks but anything worth having comes from be yourself . Definitely entertaining, but a bit overkill for me personally, would of been happy with this bo...more

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Mar 27, 2009

Polly Trout rated it

There are some very valid reasons to skim through this controversial, pornographic, poorly written, and often obnoxious anthropological tour of the "seduction community," a network of men who use social psychology and hypnosis to pick up women. First, women should know that this exists and defend themselves accordingly -- if you don't want to wade through a whole book on the subject, here's a synopsis:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_c...

It's fascinating a...moreThere are some very valid reasons to skim through this controversial, pornographic, poorly written, and often obnoxious anthropological tour of the "seduction community," a network of men who use social psychology and hypnosis to pick up women. First, women should know that this exists and defend themselves accordingly -- if you don't want to wade through a whole book on the subject, here's a synopsis:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_c...

It's fascinating and queasy at the same time.

The second reason is that although this book got slammed by feminists, Strauss is actually a whole lot smarter and more thoughtful than he first appears on the surface. The book is a pseudo-memoir in the gonzo journalism style, mixing participant observation with tall tales about life in the meat market. Strauss is not a missionary for the movement, but instead charts his own relationship with the seduction community from skepticism to enthusiasm to ambivalence to rejection. I don't know how anyone could miss this, since the opening chapter is about a famous pickup artist's psychotic break and existential despair, and the book continuously circles around the underlying anxiety and loneliness that drives the pickup mentality. Compared to "Fear and Loathing," which does hilariously glorify drugs, sex, and mayhem, Strauss's gonzo style is more critical and distanced. Here is how he ends the book: "And though I've learned everything there is is about attraction, seduction, and courtship in the past two years, I learned nothing about maintaining a healthy relationship. Being together has required a lot more time and work than learning to pick up women ever did, but it has brought me far greater satisfaction and joy. Perhaps that's because it is not a game."

The third reason is that if you factor out all the misogyny and silliness (a tall order, I know), then there is actually a surprising amount of good advice in here -- advice I myself would give, albeit within a different philosophical and ethical framework, to any guy who was currently lonely, bored, desperate for human contact, and terrified of talking to women -- and sadly there's a whole lot of people like that in our society, people paralyzed with anxiety and anomie wasting their lives in social and emotional vacuums. Sometimes it takes some baby steps to break out of a disabling mental box, and Strauss charts how sex can sometimes function as a psychic icebreaker to get somebody who is stuck moving forward towards real life. The sex drive is powerful enough to motivate someone who has dug themselves into a deep and alienating silo to climb out of it, and that motivation, under the right circumstances, can help break them out of dysfunctional patterns that are not working. For example, my favorite part of the book comes early on: Strauss has just signed up for a "workshop" with a pickup artist, who is bringing him and some other shy and geeky guys to night clubs and teaching them how to pick up women. Another guy in the same workshop is 26 and never even kissed a girl before. He is so shy that he cannot use a urinal, because peeing in front of other guys terrifies him. A few weeks later, he excitedly shares, "I can pee beside people now! It's all about confidence. So the stuff I learned in the workshop isn't just for chicks after all...it's for pissing too!"

So to summarize the good advice that is threaded through the book: if you are miserable, try changing. Just because you've always done something a certain way doesn't mean you are eternally doomed to repeat it, people can change and grow and learn. The self is flexible. Social skills, like any skills, can be learned, studied, and honed. It's better to take a risk and throw yourself out there than to waste your life accruing bitter regrets. The only way to learn new skills is to be willing to experiment and fail and sometimes look foolish, but if you stick with it and pay attention and get good advice and mentoring, you will get better at it eventually and be glad that you had the patience and balls to move out of your crippling little box. Our society is filled with women and men who are lonely and bored and stuck and who want desperately to connect and live and have fun but don't know how to get there. The sad thing about the book is that it documents the tragic lack of vision in people who settle for the shallow, canned interactions of casual sex rather than taking a real risk with full, authentic relationships.

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Mar 01, 2009

Brian rated it

A couple friends of mine recommended this book. It's easy reading, mind-candy really, and I finished it in a few hours. However, I don't think it had too much depth.

It's about an online forum group, about how to pickup women, that gained popularity to the point that its prominent members started offering expensive seminars and lectures. The seminars became so popular that some of them banded together to buy a house, share expenses, and operate their businesses out of it. The book...more

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Jan 28, 2009

Zach rated it

Haha… so I think a lot of people have the wrong idea about this book. I was talking with a friend who was really interested in reading it when I was done, and she thought that it was a book about HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN. Which it is, but only tangentially. It's really more of a narrative about someone who joins the pick-up community, a subculture of men who swap ideas and stories about the best ways to get women into their beds. Along the way, he drops some of the things that they talk about doing,...more

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Jan 02, 2009

Albert Balbutin rated it

This book is supposed to help men who have never gained the attention of someone they liked or appreciated, realize that they can actually get the attention of anyone. After that, its up to the guy to stop using the lines, and start using words that represent them. Why use fake lines to impress a girl, when you can be yourself and meet someone who may in fact be more like you?

A man should value himself first before trying to attract women he thinks may be of value to him. Men need to...more

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Jan 06, 2012

Space rated it

A journalist embeds himself in a group of guys who call themselves Pickup Artists. And learns how to pick up women. It was an interesting read, and though I didn't really learn anything new - I've pretty much been using these methods since I got my driver's license - it was reassuring to see that even unattractive people can have just about any woman they want, if they play the game properly. Some call it bullsh; some say it's a guide book. I don't know. I thought it was okay. My biggest problem...more

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Dec 20, 2011

Reid rated it

Shelves: 2011

First off, before we even get to the contents, the packaging of this book deserves comment. Its oversized, embossed leather cover, combined with gold-edged pages and a ribbon bookmark, make it look not dissimilar to a bible. Though it's often referred to as the 'bible' of pickup, The Game is actually much more fun as the story of a self-improvement cult gone haywire. Neil Strauss' transformation from self-conscious dating novice into master pickup artist is a surprisingly compelling story tha...more

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Dec 19, 2011

Ronando rated it

Shelves: technical

I give this book a 5 star with a caveat. If you are an attractive woman, you should definitely read this book! If one is interested in picking up women, then this is the book for you. It is an amazing tomb of knowledge that can help a guy overcome his lack of confidence and work on his technique to the point where he can achieve his goals... as sordid as they may be. I wish I knew the contents of this book when I was in high school. As the author says, the one regret that I have in life is that ...moreI give this book a 5 star with a caveat. If you are an attractive woman, you should definitely read this book! If one is interested in picking up women, then this is the book for you. It is an amazing tomb of knowledge that can help a guy overcome his lack of confidence and work on his technique to the point where he can achieve his goals... as sordid as they may be. I wish I knew the contents of this book when I was in high school. As the author says, the one regret that I have in life is that I didn't fool around more. As a guide for picking up women, I doubt one could do better than this book. It is a fast and entertaining read.

At the same time, there are some concerns I have. The skills that are taught in this book I compare to nothing short of being not too unlike a superpower. ... no, I am not kidding. Or at the very least, a magician or super hypnotist. The ability to walk into a bar or any location and walk out with a woman and sleep with her is literally a shocking revelation. "That stuff doesn't happen except in books or on tv!" But it does.

The problem, as with any power, is abuse and the potential to develop a callous indifference towards the women these guys pick up. Let me be honest here... the thought of sleeping with any woman at any time, often multiple women at the same time, is an intoxicating wet dream for every guy out there. If you're a guy and you deny this, you're lying to yourself. Guys live for women. It is our obsession, our passion our desire.

We rate each other on our potential as a man based on the female yard stick. This includes at what age we first slept with a woman, how old she was respective to our age (the younger we are are and the older she is, the better, and no, I am not lying), the length of our tools, the size of our tools, it goes on, ad nosium. Our very worth is based on our ability to "score" with women, if not by the size of our pocket book. Sad, but true.

The only thing holding man back from true wanton callous indifference is fear. Fear of asking that girl out. Fear of her rejecting us. And, as if by magic, Neil Strauss has delivered the secrets of the universe (in an absolutely beautiful book depicted in a biblical manner) to our hands; the ability to sleep with any woman we want, just like Johnny Depp in Don Juan de Marco.

The problem is this "power" can A) be abused and B) cause men to see women as disposable trophies to be used and cast away, moving on to the next "kill."

I hate to say it, but... I honestly believe that man is not ready for this "power." We don't treat women with respect as it is, the last thing we should be doing is taking away their sovereign right and power to say "no" or reject us out of hand through the instrument of magic words and strategically placed "negs.*" I don't believe guys can wield this "power" without getting caught up in the plethora of rewards. The potential to use women while being indifferent to their feelings is too great. I'm being honest when I say that I hope that this book does not fall into the hands of the majority of the kids out there. If it does... then women beware.

* A "Neg" is a way to put the girl down in front of her friends to get her attention. Something like, "oh, you have lipstick on your teeth," or, "god, is she always so demanding?" It is used on the guy's target, in front of her friends, to put her off and to get her to notice you. .. it works.

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Dec 01, 2011

Sarah rated it

Oi vey. This was also read for work research, and after reading one section of it, where he's *literally writing the book while having sex with some anonymous lady*, I put it aside and hoped it would go away. But it didn't, and reading the whole thing through turned out to be much more entertaining and interesting than I would have thought. I'll give him credit - it's a page turner, though at times it's both gross and offensive. But then again, so can be men and male culture, and that's exactly ...moreOi vey. This was also read for work research, and after reading one section of it, where he's *literally writing the book while having sex with some anonymous lady*, I put it aside and hoped it would go away. But it didn't, and reading the whole thing through turned out to be much more entertaining and interesting than I would have thought. I'll give him credit - it's a page turner, though at times it's both gross and offensive. But then again, so can be men and male culture, and that's exactly what he's inhabiting to an extreme degree here.
The most interesting parts to me were 1) the name dropping and cross-references to other points in pop culture at the time, namely the appearance and presence of Courtney Love throughout the novel, who comes off like the most brilliant film character ever, even though it's a book and she is, in theory, real. And, 2) the special parts of the book where Strauss consciously questions the motives, ethics, and patheticish nature of the PUA community. I say that with respect, since he also very much time and time again talks about one of the biggest motivating factors for the dudes seeking out these communities being that they want to escape being meek and feeling powerless, that they cannot wrest free of the view of themselves that persists as geeky and terrified of women. It's like they're all being held hostage by their high school selves. And not that those are excuses, but they did give me a sense of sympathy that wouldn't have been there otherwise. Also, it helps that Strauss is a really entertaining and empathetic writer. He does a great job of talking about the disappearance of his identity and the growth of Style, his PUA alter ego, and the effect it has to watch the apprentices turning his "moves" into patented, mechanical actions devoid of meaning in how impersonal they are.
The story is Strauss's but the concurrent story of Mystery, a peacocking depressive from the midwest who is obsessed with becoming a polyamorous magician and manages to look a little David Blaine-y, in the worst ways possible. Through the book we see Mystery as one of the most revered PUAs around, admired by worshipping guys throughout the internets and in-person, once they develop a house solely for the PUA community world in Los Angeles. But he doesn't have the tools to thrive in his success, and so instead, through Strauss's eyes, we see a human misery time-bomb. Also, I really felt that making the story as much about Mystery as his own experience, Strauss allowed himself the comfort of distance, of not being dissected too closely. He loses points for that.
Anyhoo. It's a fascinating book to think about in terms of games, seduction, and human motivation. Looking at what the PUA community has turned into nowadays, or at least what's available online, is hilarious, especially the San Francisco contingent. (less)

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Aug 30, 2011

Filip rated it

It's a wonder I didn't read this book before.

In this PUA classic, Neil Strauss a.k.a. Style describes (in painstaking detail) the ups and downs of his involvement in the, then secret, PUA community. This is not a "how-to" book, or some manual. This is more of a history lesson.

Here he chronicled how it all began - the first part giving away his shy and socially awkward background, and then becoming, as protegee of Mystery, then greatest pickup artist in the world...more

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Aug 09, 2011

Daniel Noventa rated it

There’s a good amount of information in this book. Though a lot of it seems to be redundant, the writer makes a point that our society is resulting in people having to train as pick up artists. Our social structure continues to inhibit our social opportunities, to the point that it becomes uncomfortable for most people to even greet each other in the street; let alone attempt to start a conversation with a potential mate without the use of mind altering substances. At best, the information gives...more

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Aug 07, 2011

G.P. Merwede rated it

Neil Strauss was a successful writer with numerous bestsellers under his belt, penning the autobiographies of Motley Crue, Marilyn Manson, and Jenna Jameson. Neil, however, did not have such luck when it came to women. Enter Mystery, the pick-up artist (PUA) who would transform the lowly and woman-desserted Strauss into the Master pick-up artist (MPUA) known as Style.

The Game follows Strauss' transformation, detailing the tactics and strategy used to pick-up women, the inner squabbli...more

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Aug 04, 2011

Benjamin Siess rated it

A lot of the reviews are saying that this is a book about a guy that learns how to be a pickup artists and then realizes how rotten of a life it is. That's not the book I read.

Strauss shows just how much fun it can be to possess the social awareness that breeds power. He goes on to insinuate that becoming obsessed with this power leads to a hollow existence. It's not the power that is rotten. It's the obsession. Ping pong is a really fun game, but not if you're playing it 18 hours a day, 7 days...more

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Jul 30, 2011

Bruce rated it

Shelves: social-psychology-meets-gonzo-journ

This book comes as a dividend of reading Brian Christian's The Most Human Human, as that is how I discovered it. In pure behaviorist fashion, the pickup artists exploit human psychology and rote routines to find bedmates. You know the drill: "Hey, how are you?" "Fine. You?" "Good. Good to see ya." These are the sort of programmed responses we develop to get through day-to-day existence without overwhelming our central cortex. Christian referenced The Game to make t...moreThis book comes as a dividend of reading Brian Christian's The Most Human Human, as that is how I discovered it. In pure behaviorist fashion, the pickup artists exploit human psychology and rote routines to find bedmates. You know the drill: "Hey, how are you?" "Fine. You?" "Good. Good to see ya." These are the sort of programmed responses we develop to get through day-to-day existence without overwhelming our central cortex. Christian referenced The Game to make the point that rote human interactions reduce (arguably cheapen) the value of daily experience and rob us each of the opportunity to enjoy the richness of human intercourse. However, many from the underground culture of pickup artists The Game exposes would argue that cheap sex is better than no sex, entirely missing the point that the word "intercourse" carries multiple meanings.

Neil Strauss enters the pickup world as Hunter S. Thompson quested to Vegas, with full-gonzo buy-in that doesn't sour until it is nearly too late for him to extract himself. There are elements here, too, of a real-life Fight Club, right down to someone named Tyler Durden (life here imitating art). So this book chronicles Strauss' 2-year transformation from an introverted, socially-awkward shlemiel to a confident (yet sensitive!) rake, capable of seducing Courtney Love but in fact far more interested in her personal well-being.

The only downside to this book I can find is in its tawdry packaging. The copy I got from the library was faux-leather bound, embossed in gold replete with mudflap-girl silhouettes, and dangling an affixed bookmark of red ribbon. While this might have made the Gideons proud, I felt a bit self-conscious carrying it on the Metro.

Strauss' observations and inclusions (field reports from himself and fellow pickup artists) are at once witty and insightful. And they're all about promoting interaction. Just as Christian analogizes the art of conversation to a rock wall with neoprene handholds, pick-up artist Juggler writes of eschewing talk-show-host style inquisition in favor of opening a conversation with provocative statements: "I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan -- home to hundreds and hundreds of ice cream shops." "My housemate's cat is the reincarnation of Richard Nixon." He explains, "Talking in statement form is the way old friends speak to each other.... They invite others to share and make perfect metaphysical sense." (p. 118)

Strauss makes a strong case that, taken non-misogynistically, mastering the art of artful interaction is a legitimate pursuit. At p. 172, he notes, "There are certain bad habits we've groomed our whole life -- from personality flaws to fashion faux pas. And it has been the role of parents and friends, outside of some minor tweaking, to reinforce the belief that we're okay just as we are. But it's not enough to just be yourself. You have to be your best self. And that's a tall order if you haven't found your best self yet."

As Strauss searches for (and finds) his best self, he finds that the thrill of the hunt (and the catch), devalues his perception of the prize and dehumanizes the object of his attention. (How can one have affection for a "target?") He also becomes disconcerted as he realizes his newfound skills in seduction do not prepare him in the least to maintain and nurture a genuine relationship. That's a whole uncharted level of intimacy, and it is this that he ultimately longs to explore. Of course, it takes about 400 pages and lots of imposed nurturing of fellow man-children for him to realize that level of maturity.

It goes without saying that he'll get a girl in the end. The questions readers will ask themselves is... does he get THE girl... and could he keep her? I ain't tellin'. The journey is fascinating throughout, with the author an engaging guide.(less)

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About Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Game, Rules of the Game, and Emergency. He is also the coauthor of three other New York Times bestsellers - Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Mötley Crüe's The Dirt, and Marilyn Manson's The Long Hard Road Out of Hell - as well as Dave Navarro's Don't Try This at Home, a Los Angeles Times bestseller. His latest book,...more

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“It’s not lying, it’s flirting.” — 23 people liked it

“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.” — 13 people liked it

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