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Tiger, Tiger: A Memoir

3.58 of 5 stars 3.58 · rating details · 1,814 ratings · 425 reviews

One summer day, Margaux Fragoso meets Peter Curran at the neighborhood swimming pool, and they begin to play. She is seven; he is fifty-one. When Peter invites her and her mother to his house, the little girl finds a child’s paradise of exotic pets and an elaborate backyard garden. Her mother, beset by mental illness and overwhelmed by caring for Margaux, is grateful for

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Hardcover, 336 pages

Published March 1st 2011 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux

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May 27, 2012 Matilda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

This was a tough read. Both because of the subject matter and because of the writing style. Initially, in the first part of the book, I found her writing to be difficult to believe and, therefore, difficult to get into. I am one of those people who has problems with the current trend in memoirs to be told in pages of elegant dialogue and lengthy descriptions of settings that cannot possibly be remembered. I was prepared for this by a well-written review I read on NPR, however, so I stuck with it...more

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Sep 01, 2011 Jeni rated it 5 of 5 stars

I began reading this book on the subway home one evening; continued reading and finished it late that same night, basically in one sitting. This is one of the most compelling and harrowing memoirs I have encountered. I had to keep reading, turning the pages. It was difficult, stomach-churning to read, but it felt so urgent and imperative to do so. This story needs to exist.

This is a revised Lolita story, told from the point of the view of the victim: it explains how an 8 year girl with a trouble...more

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Feb 13, 2011 Kelda rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book was difficult to read, but so very well written. A woman's memoir of her 14 year "relationship" with a pedophile. Left feeling squirmy but also with wonder at the strength of her spirit and persevering intellect. She has created something astonishing.

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Aug 20, 2011 Carolyn rated it 2 of 5 stars

"Tiger Tiger","Margaux Fragoso"
"This is a true,disturbing account of a child's 15 year long relationship with a pedophile.7 year old Margaux meets 51 year old Peter when she asks to play with him at a swimming pool.Peter is a pedophile with several counts of child molestation in his past.He enchants the young girl with his houseful of budgies, reptiles, hamsters, rabbits, fish and a big friendly dog. He enjoys playing children's games, and until his suicide at age 66 (when he is ill and looking...more "Tiger Tiger","Margaux Fragoso"
"This is a true,disturbing account of a child's 15 year long relationship with a pedophile.7 year old Margaux meets 51 year old Peter when she asks to play with him at a swimming pool.Peter is a pedophile with several counts of child molestation in his past.He enchants the young girl with his houseful of budgies, reptiles, hamsters, rabbits, fish and a big friendly dog. He enjoys playing children's games, and until his suicide at age 66 (when he is ill and looking 10 years older), Margaux describes him in romantic terms, her childhood lover, soul mate, her friend who she wanted to marry.During this time she describes in detail the sexual encounters in such detail that NY Times critic wrote it was the most indecent thing published in last decade.Margaux was attending college at the time of his death and he left her his car and 22 suicide notes and encouraged her to write about her their relationship.
Her mother was mentally ill and frequently hospitalized. The mother visited Peter's home often with her daughter. It is not certain she was aware what was going on, but she encouraged her daughter's visits and described him as a reincarnation of Jesus. Her father was a drunken womanizer who comes across as well meaning. He forbade these visits for 2 years and described Peter as odd, and was suspicious of the friendship. Peter kept manipulating the family to get back in the father's good graces, and as he manipulated Margaux, Margaux was also a manipulator who exerted some control over Peter and her own family.
The author describes herself as an outcast at school where she was considered weird and spacey. She dropped out and received home tutoring. In college when Peter committed suicide, and still had difficulty making friends and in relating to her parents. She subsequently received a PhD in literature and is married with a daughter, is undergoing therapy and now believes Peter was an evil man and the relationship was inappropriate."(less)

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Aug 09, 2012 Liz rated it 2 of 5 stars

Hmmm.....where to start? Let me just say that it was a very hard book to get through, very disturbing, to the point that I was almost unable to read it. I like the writing style of the author Margaux Fragoso, but the subject matter and the events were at times harsh, no matter how poetically expressed. I think that pedophilia does need to be discussed, and awareness raised, as the author states in her afterword, but it is still a sensitive topic. Like she pointed out, there is the misconception...more Hmmm.....where to start? Let me just say that it was a very hard book to get through, very disturbing, to the point that I was almost unable to read it. I like the writing style of the author Margaux Fragoso, but the subject matter and the events were at times harsh, no matter how poetically expressed. I think that pedophilia does need to be discussed, and awareness raised, as the author states in her afterword, but it is still a sensitive topic. Like she pointed out, there is the misconception that pedophiles are all violent and creepy, but the majority of cases where someone is arrested for molestation are people who are near kids, work with them, have easy access to them. Children and adults see them as nice people, and don't pick up on their, for lack of a better word, disease. Just like most bombers and serial killers, the people nearest them have no idea about what they've done and think they are the nicest people. The reason they are able to convince others that they are okay and safe to be around children is their charisma and often child-like charm.
The thing that bothered me most about this story is not that Peter was a likeable person, but that when he started everything when she was so young, he convinced himself and Margaux that it was natural. That he was rebelling against the norm, that no one understood, they others were judgemetal, and that showing our bodies was the way we were supposed to be. That caressing was just a form of affection, and there was nothing wrong with it.
Also, even with the sick infatuation and alternate personalities Margaux has, why did she think everyting was ok? As she got older, she accepts everything, even Peter almost killing her by choking her and smothering her. She took it like it was normal with Peter, but stood up to her father when he only threatened to hit her. The whole thing is twisted, and you have to wonder about how the degredation of even just verbal abuse left a child vulnerable to predators, and taken advantage of, and giving her no sense of self or worth, except by the person who seemed to be the only one to love her as she was, her abuser.
It's amazing to me how behaviors are carried thru the generations. The same is true for addicts. The family members still play the same roles, and co-dependency still lasts thru generations, even if there isn't an addict present in that generation. The same is true of any type of abuse. Children are inadvertanty taught the same fears and shame, and end up copying the behaviors of there forebears, unless they consciously seek help and break the cycle.
I guess that's all I have to say for now. (less)

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Feb 01, 2013 Chris Go marked it as to-read

Shelves: box-books

This is not a fun read. It is about a 7-year old girl who finds herself in a sexual relationship with a man old enough to be her grandfather. The book chronicles this relationship, which lasts over a decade. It is a memoir.

Some of the reviews that I saw of this book seemed to question the author's memories. There was a hint that children remember things differently from what actually happened. And while I doubt that everything happened exactly as written, I have no doubt that the crux of the sto...more

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Nov 05, 2011 Eurik rated it 3 of 5 stars

A depressing read. Not easy to digest. The supposedly main storyline of the girls (author's) relationship with a paedophile is somewhat scattered and fogged over her generally difficult childhood (crazy mother, distant, abusive father).

---spoilers---

I was kind of disappointed that the book remained inconclusive. She narrates their shared history as a story of abuse and pseudo-consensual intimacy, however her need to return to her abuser - and doing so willingly - is clear all the way through. It...more

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Feb 28, 2013 George Ilsley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

Hard to rate this because it is so creepy to read. Personally, I can't remember conversations I had with adults when I was 7 or 8 so I always wonder about memoirs that report these discussions. Fragoso does a good job of portraying the mixed emotions of a child who is in the grip of several abusive adults -- her parents and the older man who has targeted her. Obviously, there is even more to this story, other children who were abused by this guy. It is astonishing how long this went on without t...more

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Mar 24, 2011 Michelle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Beautifully written, but very, very sad. Though it is disturbing, it is valuable in that people can see how such abuse comes about and how children are drawn into dangerous relationships. Though it's about child abuse, predators of all types manipulate and brainwash their victims and this book gives a glimpse into this strange psychological phenomenon.

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May 17, 2013 Kirsty rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Due to the subject matter of this book I expected it to be a difficult and harrowing read, as have the previous child abuse biographies I have read. However, what I ended up finding difficult was the lack of empathy that I felt reading the book.
Obviously no child deserves to be abused in anyway, but the way the author portrays herself growing up is not always that of an innocent child/teen.

Margaux is a shy child with a mother with mental health problems and a cold, self absorbed father. She is b...more Due to the subject matter of this book I expected it to be a difficult and harrowing read, as have the previous child abuse biographies I have read. However, what I ended up finding difficult was the lack of empathy that I felt reading the book.
Obviously no child deserves to be abused in anyway, but the way the author portrays herself growing up is not always that of an innocent child/teen.

Margaux is a shy child with a mother with mental health problems and a cold, self absorbed father. She is befriended by a local man that starts to give her the love and attention she craves, not realising that he is in fact a pedophile and is grooming her in order to abuse her.
The relationship between Margaux and Peter grows and develops into a sexual, co-dependant and ugly power struggle that is to last fifteen years.

The abuse that Margaux suffers can be hard to read, and you feel devastated that a child could be subjected to this, yet as time passes Margaux makes you feel very uncomfortable. I felt that she became aware that she was able to use sexual situations to manipulate people - including her father at one point of the book. She also barters sexual favours for things that she wants from Peter, as she believes he is getting more from the relationship than she is. I found this extremely worrying from a child.

The memoir becomes very cold and told in an almost robotic narrative, which fails to convey the trauma this situation should provoke. As Margaux grows older she realises the relationship between herself and Peter is wrong, even calling him a child molester on several occasions. Yet she fails to alert anyone to her abuse as an adult, or even just to break the ties herself when she finds herself wishing he would die. Instead she revelves in the power she has over Peter.

I also found it hard to connect the book to a real person as it seemed very fictionalised compared to other abuse survivor biographies I have read. The sheer detail of long ago conversations and detached tone of the book does make it seem more of a story. I do find it hard to believe that a young child would record entire conversations (which she didn't always know the meaning of) into a journal for years and years.

Overall, I expected to feel outraged and sympathetic for Margaux - as I usually would for child victims. But the way the author portrays herself is detrimental to the subject matter. I found myself experiencing dislike for both the abuser and in some parts the victim, for which I found myself feeling surprised and slightly guilty.

I did not enjoy this book. I think that it is neither black or white, but sits in an unsettling grey area. It will definitely divide its audience.(less)

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Feb 17, 2013 Thomas Holbrook rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memior

What Amy Hammel-Zabin did in Conversations With a Pedophile, (by bringing her readers into the mind of a Pedophile), Dr. Fragoso does for the victim of such a predator. Reading Dr. Fragoso’s account of the years she spent enthralled with a “caring” older (by 43 years) man is the stuff of nightmares, horror stories made so, and drastically compounded by, the fact of what she speaks was her reality. Few books have caused as intense reactions within me than those I experienced as I read this first...more What Amy Hammel-Zabin did in Conversations With a Pedophile, (by bringing her readers into the mind of a Pedophile), Dr. Fragoso does for the victim of such a predator. Reading Dr. Fragoso’s account of the years she spent enthralled with a “caring” older (by 43 years) man is the stuff of nightmares, horror stories made so, and drastically compounded by, the fact of what she speaks was her reality. Few books have caused as intense reactions within me than those I experienced as I read this first person account of a victim of childhood sex abuse.
When Margaux Fragoso was 7-years-old, while she and her mother were in a park near her home, a man (Peter, who is older than her father) asked if he could join in her play. Within a year of that meeting, he commits his first violation of his new, trusting friend. For the next nine years he took advantage of her father’s volatility and her mother’s mental illness to repeatedly violate the young Margaux. After his health became such that he could no longer harm her sexually, he continued to manipulate her into being convinced that he was the only one who could truly love her. It was only with Peter’s death that the author found the freedom to write of this relationship and to see what had actually occurred within that connection.
The book is a revelation of the experience of sex abuse. The process Dr. Fragoso details is a classic example of what a victim of sex abuse becomes in order to survive this trauma. She speaks graphically of some of her abuse and her internal processes, as well as her world-view, as they developed in response to the harm done to her, are difficult to grasp unless one has some experience of this kind of pain.
Yet, because of an open writing style and ease of expression the reader has the ability to grasp some of this experience without having to face the author’s peril.
My best friend (and wife) noted my dark mood the week I was reading this book, so deeply was I affected by its content. By turns, I was angry, sickened, filled with dread, hopeful, hopeless, helpless and empowered as I progressed through its pages. In my profession, I have sat with numerous victims of sexual abuse; I have heard their pain, witnessed their courage and admired their strength. After this book, I feel a deeper sense of appreciation of these individuals. To see how many of them have moved from “victim” to survivor to thriving in overcoming the evil done them gives me pause to be thankful and amazed; thankful for the opportunity to journey with them and amazed at these heroes. Fortunately, Dr. Fragoso did not remain a victim of her abuse. She overcame this trauma to earn a Ph.D. and to write a book that is a much needed resource.
This book needs to be required reading for anyone in, or preparing for, the counseling or other helping profession. It supports the research of the predatory behavior of Pedophiles; offers, both directly and by suggestion, how to protect children from such people, imparts insight into many of the behaviors of those who have been the prey of such individuals and gives first-hand (of a fashion) experience of sitting with those harmed. Anyone who chooses to read this book needs to be aware of the pain they will experience as they “witness” the harming of a child.
This is NOT a book for children, it is a MUST read for parents, teachers, ministers, police officers – anyone who has the huge responsibility to protect children. May we all work toward a day when such violence, especially that violence focused toward children, will be a bad memory.
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Jan 17, 2013 Joselito Honestly and Brilliantly rated it 4 of 5 stars

The author Margaux Fragoso, single, 7 years old meets Peter Curran in a neighborhood swimming pool the summer of 1985. Peter, 51 years old, is married to a woman with two young boys by her previous marriage. He and Margaux fall in love with each other.

Peter makes sure that Margaux understands that society disapproves of their love because of its hypocrisy. The two then agree to keep their special a secret and develope some private codes and signals by which they can communicate as lovers without...more The author Margaux Fragoso, single, 7 years old meets Peter Curran in a neighborhood swimming pool the summer of 1985. Peter, 51 years old, is married to a woman with two young boys by her previous marriage. He and Margaux fall in love with each other.

Peter makes sure that Margaux understands that society disapproves of their love because of its hypocrisy. The two then agree to keep their special a secret and develope some private codes and signals by which they can communicate as lovers without their respective families noticing.

Peter is a kind man. He reminds me of our dog of long ago named Maru. He was a very good dog but had one flaw: whenever he sees chickens he would run after them and kill them. We tried all things to make him stop killing chickens but nothing worked. Peter is like that. A good man with a major defect: he likes children, sexually, and couldn't stop being turned on by them even if he wants to.

The prose here is never vulgar or gross, although the subject matter can horrify many. Margaux is a brilliant writer, with a PhD in English and creative writing at Binghamton University. Even her sex scenes come out honest and plaintive.

She writes of how Peter first taught her to kiss him on the lips like fish would. Then with tongue inside the mouth like the French. Initially Margaux refuses to kiss Peter's erect peter, saying she knows that's where his wee-wee comes out. But then comes Peter's birthday and he makes a wish. She convinces Margaux to kiss it, then to put it inside her mouth, then to suck it like a lollipop. Peter doesn't allow himself to come. He puts peter back inside his pants at tells Marguax that is the happiest birthday of his life.

They share a secret life. They watch porn together, play together, read Nabokov's Lolita together. It did help their love that Margaux, an only child, has a father who is always out working, drinking and visiting his girlfriends. And her mother, who trusts Peter, has an on-and-off bouts with mental iillness. Margaux asks: "Without Peter to see me, to adore me, how could I exist?"

For some reason Peter never wants to penetrate Marguax. She remains a virgin until later, when both of them are a little bit much older and MARGAUX herself demands to be penetrated, wanting to have a child by him. Peter obliges. Older and ailing, he finds difficulty having an erection. But he manages to come inside Margaux. She doesn't get pregnant, however.

The love affair lasted 15 years. At one point Margaux tried to kill herself by ingesting different kinds of pills (including Immodium, the one I take for diarrhea). She didn't die. All along she continued loving Peter. Even if Peter no longer wore his false teeth, even if he grew a moustache which looked like traces of milk on his lips because it was white, even with his freckled body, she continued loving him.

Everything ended, however, when Peter committed suicide at age 66. Margaux was already 22 at that time. He left her his car (purchased on loan from Margaux's father and still unpaid) and ten suicide notes, the earliest of which was about a year before. He had apparently been thinking of killing himself for quite a while already.

She ends the book with a realization expressed: she was a victim. (less)

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Jan 07, 2013 Kristen rated it 3 of 5 stars

The writing and this compelling (though horrifying) story deserve much more than 3 stars. But the subject itself is so difficult and this story so painful, I feel it's impossible to give it more than 3 stars. I think because I can't "recommend" it even though I feel it's one of the most important stories to ever be told, so bluntly and almost without affect (no doubt a symptom of the years of being sexualized). I knew I had to honor the author by getting through to the afterward, where there is...more

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Jan 02, 2013 N. rated it 4 of 5 stars

This was a truly disturbing, stomach-churning, yet eye-opening, memoir. It's hard for me to rate a book about something so disgusting as a pedophile, with 4 stars, but Fragoso (despite her horrific childhood), has become a talented writer in spite of it all. I did have a hard time believing that she could recall so many childhood events with such vivid detail, but at the same time, her prose allows the reader to paint a picture of how such a crime could unfold. I also hoped for more insight on h...more

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Mar 06, 2012 Tim Roast rated it 5 of 5 stars

"Tiger, tiger" is a book about a relationship between a girl and a middle-aged man. For that reason I was worried before I started reading it that I would not be able to complete the book. However from the beginning I was hooked. The writing was superb. The author was able to conjure up the childish behaviour of a child effortlessly. And as she got older so did the way she behaved.

But then the relationship between Margaux with the aged Peter got frequently sexual (she was around 13 at this time)...more

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Feb 28, 2012 Bonnie Brody rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is one of the most visceral and heartfelt books I have ever read. It is a brave and painful book, difficult to read but beautifully wrought. From the time she was eight years old, Maugaux Fragoso was sexually abused by a man named Peter who is 51 years old when he meets her. The abuse lasts for years and years. Peter grooms Margaux, enchanting her with his home that is filled with animals like hamsters, iguanas, a dog and rabbits. He plays with her as if he was a child. He charms her, acts...more This is one of the most visceral and heartfelt books I have ever read. It is a brave and painful book, difficult to read but beautifully wrought. From the time she was eight years old, Maugaux Fragoso was sexually abused by a man named Peter who is 51 years old when he meets her. The abuse lasts for years and years. Peter grooms Margaux, enchanting her with his home that is filled with animals like hamsters, iguanas, a dog and rabbits. He plays with her as if he was a child. He charms her, acts like a father and pretends to give her unconditional love. However, all this time he is truly a predator, attempting to begin the sexual abuse that is initiated in earnest when Margaux is eight years old.

Margaux becomes completely dependent on Peter and believes that he is the only one in the world that loves her. At times, however, she acts out in ways that indicate she has been abused but the adults in her life do not take notice. She has fugue states, terrible anger issues, spends the nights with Peter. Margaux's mother is seriously mentally ill and encourages her relationship with Peter. Her father is physically and emotionally abusive to Margaux and to her mother. Her father, at one point, suspects that Margaux is being sexually abused, but shows no empathy. In fact, if she were to admit her abuse, he'd put her on the street. When Margaux is in high school, a social worker is called in because people in the neighborhood are suspicious of Margaux's relationship with Peter but she defends him. It is not that different from Stockholm Syndrome.

As a therapist, I understand the trauma that Margaux was experiencing and her need to believe that Peter was her love. "I was Peter's religion" she says. She would put on alter-personalities to please Peter and also to believe she had some control over him. One of these personalities is a "bad girl" named Nina. Nina acts rough and tough and streetwise with a foul mouth. She punishes Peter. At times their relationship becomes physical and Peter tries to choke Margaux, gives her a black eye and punches her in the face. "I like being Nina". "It seemed as though Peter's other self Mr. Nasty was dependent on Nina and that he needed her to survive. The favors she gave him made him feel guilty and caused him to owe favors in return. This all amounted to me being in charge" Margaux needed to feel some element of control because in reality she was under Peter's control entirely.

Peter tells her that "all men like young girls whether they admit it or not. Most guys are just dishonest about it". "If you were to openly admit, yes, I find young girls attractive, you'd be burned at the stake." Peter also tries to get Margaux to believe that she is his only 'love' but she finds out that, like other pedophiles, this is not the case. There have been others, he has been in jail, and is chock-filled with secrets that gradually come out. He brainwashes her over and over again with lies and twisted love.

Margaux begins to believe that only someone like Peter - old, without teeth, perverted - could love someone like her. She is an outcast at school and doesn't know how to interact with young people her age. All of her life is spent trying to please Peter. "What did kids my own age talk about? If they'd seen me with Peter, who would I say he was? My father? He was so old he could have been my grandfather."

I encourage anyone who is in the field of trauma or sexual abuse to read this book. If you or someone you know has been sexually abused, read this book. If you want to read a beautiful memoir written by a brave and courageous woman, read this book. It is without comparison in its forthrightness, pain and hope.
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Jan 18, 2012 Kelly rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography-autobiography, family-issues, non-fiction

Despite being horrified, revolted, and disturbed by this book, I couldn't put it down. The author spares no details in describing her sexual abuse (let's not call it molestation; that's too pretty of a word) at the hands of a predator from the age of 7 to 22. The love/hate relationship she has with him along with her conflicting desires to destroy him and save him might be hard for some to fathom. Margaux clearly shows how a predator/pedaphile grooms and manipulates his victims and convinces the...more

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Dec 11, 2011 Sam rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: america, biography, non-fiction, owned, society

The back of this memoir states that it is a book about a relationship between a fifty-one year old man and a seven year old girl. And it's controversial because it is about just that, a relationship. A socially unacceptable, manipulative, controlling relationship, but a relationship nonetheless and Fragoso writes about it honestly, resisting the temptation to paint herself sympathetically to appeal to readers.

Margaux is seven when she meets Peter at a swimming pool - she sees him playing a game...more The back of this memoir states that it is a book about a relationship between a fifty-one year old man and a seven year old girl. And it's controversial because it is about just that, a relationship. A socially unacceptable, manipulative, controlling relationship, but a relationship nonetheless and Fragoso writes about it honestly, resisting the temptation to paint herself sympathetically to appeal to readers.

Margaux is seven when she meets Peter at a swimming pool - she sees him playing a game with two boys and decides that she wants to join in. Over time Margaux and her mentally ill mother come to like and depend upon kind, generous Peter as a way of getting away from Margaux's father, who has good intentions but is at best absent and at worse an alcoholic brother. Gradually Peter makes himself indespensible to Margaux and starts to groom her. When their relationship becomes sexual, Margaux sees it as something she must just put up with in order to get the love and affection she craves. Even when she has a chance to get away from Peter, she can't bring herself to give up the only person in the world that she thinks truly cares for her, despite all of the things she hates doing. She shuts away that part of herself into a new persona and becomes slowly desensitised.

Although a memoir like this, in which conversations are recreated and events described in great detail, can only capture the essence of what happened, Tiger, Tiger felt like it had a lot of truth. I've read some other reviews of it and lots of people are reacting against Margaux for becoming sexually manipulative and not getting away when she had the chance. But for me, this only shows Peter's power as he has manipulated Marguax to the extent where she becomes the instigator and sexual behaviour is completely normalised, something to put up with to get treats. I think it was brave for Fragoso to write it like that and to show ambiguity in all of the people she includes, rather than making it just black and white, good and evil. There is a scene that people object to in particular, where Marguax tries to become sexually manipulative with someone else, but that is how children who are abused often react, and that's usually how the abuse comes to light.

The worst part for me was how lots of the adults knew what was going on, but decided not to know and to look the other way. All they do is spread gossip rather than help. I think that does happen in society - no one wants to think that a child could be getting abused, so people find reasons to think something else. In the afterword, Fragoso writes that she hopes the book will help people to become more aware that paedophiles don't look like monsters and don't act stereotypically, and I hope so too.(less)

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Nov 21, 2011 Kate Woods Walker rated it 4 of 5 stars

A grand jury report is inadvertently released in Pennsylvania, America reads the phrase "rhythmic slapping sounds" and is forced to visualize the actual rape of a child, and in the Sandusky/Penn State scandal, public consciousness changes. "Molestation" sounds so much better than "anal rape," after all. Easier to take, easier to imagine as something lesser.

A great author, who confesses upfront that he wants to have sex with little girls, writes the ultimate pedophile fantasy and calls it Lolita....more A grand jury report is inadvertently released in Pennsylvania, America reads the phrase "rhythmic slapping sounds" and is forced to visualize the actual rape of a child, and in the Sandusky/Penn State scandal, public consciousness changes. "Molestation" sounds so much better than "anal rape," after all. Easier to take, easier to imagine as something lesser.

A great author, who confesses upfront that he wants to have sex with little girls, writes the ultimate pedophile fantasy and calls it Lolita. Rather than see the tale for what it is—the sickest of sick jokes made by the worst kind of human, the literary community lines up to heap praise on what many still persist in calling a “love story.”

What is common is that we don’t want to believe monsters walk among us undetected. And they do.

In Tiger, Tiger, Margaux Fragoso does as much as anyone in recent memory to force the world to see—to really see—what a pedophile does, and to force us to lose our tinted, heart-shaped Lolita glasses and look upon what is really happening in basements, locker rooms, and Neverland hideaways. Evil exists, evil actively seeks to debase and defile innocence, and evil is embodied in the best liars on the planet—pedophiles.

It’s a graphic recounting. Not only are the physical acts presented, but Fragoso does an astonishing job of depicting the closed-off, claustrophobic world a psychopath builds around his victims. Even the air I breathed as I read some passages seemed thicker, and more oppressive.

Read what others have to say and watch how desperately we’ll work to doubt the author. Are the long quotations accurate enough? Is the prose overworked? Too graphic? Not graphic enough? Consider how much we want to blame the victim, the victim’s family, authorities…anyone but the perpetrator. Even the author--obviously intelligent, resilient, and willing to face awful truths—closes the story softly, without condemnation of the beast who would have destroyed her. She loved him, after all. She’s doing her best to tell us what it was like.

This is a heroic story, despite its flaws. I commend the author for doing the work required to get this story on paper, and I recommend this book to anyone who loves a child sexual abuse victim. And there are many, many victims out there, and their cases are as bad--or worse--than this one. Don’t look away.
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Sep 13, 2011 Tracie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Margaux Fragoso is a woman with a story.

She grew up being molested - and, ultimately, falling in love, with a family friend who is fifty some years older than she is. The book goes into great detail, which makes you believe that some of it must be fabricated, because of the sheer impossibility of someone remembering conversations that took place when they were eight years old. I don't doubt the validity of this book, but some holes were filled in, that much is true.

Fragoso is a gifted writer, a...more

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Sep 11, 2011 Jen at Reading Lark added it

This is a very difficult book to give a star rating to. On the one hand, it was absolutely compelling and I read it in a single sitting. On the other hand, the subject matter is frankly disturbing and I would feel wrong about giving it five stars. So I'm going to leave this one star-less.

This is a memoir (the first memoir I have ever finished) which details a woman's memories of growing up in the thrall of a pedophile. A friend's husband recommended this to me, as it was required reading on his...more

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Jun 23, 2011 Judith rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a memoir by a woman who was sexually molested and raped by an older man who was a "friend of the family". At the tender age of 8, the author met Peter ( the pedophile) who was 51. For the next 14 years, until he committed suicide at the age of 66, they were together on an almost daily basis, and for most of that time, he was sexually molesting her. You may think you've heard/read enough about child abuse by now. But this book has a unique perspective.

The author has an incredible eye for...more

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Jun 11, 2011 Betty rated it 5 of 5 stars

I rated this five stars because I think it's an important book and because I liked the way Fragoso was able to evoke the mood of her life in the way that she did. I can't say that I enjoyed reading it and I would hesitate to recommend it because it is incredibly graphic and extremely disturbing. I have read other reviews where people denounce her for writing it the way that she did. One reviewer said something to the effect of "Her target audience is pedophiles" as though she put in the details...more I rated this five stars because I think it's an important book and because I liked the way Fragoso was able to evoke the mood of her life in the way that she did. I can't say that I enjoyed reading it and I would hesitate to recommend it because it is incredibly graphic and extremely disturbing. I have read other reviews where people denounce her for writing it the way that she did. One reviewer said something to the effect of "Her target audience is pedophiles" as though she put in the details that she did to be titillating. I understand why people feel that way and I have to disagree. One of the most upsetting things about her story is that there were so many adults around who should have realized and on some level must have known something wasn't right and yet no one stepped in and protected her. I feel that the distaste that we have for the subject matter makes it easier in a way for someone to get away with the kinds of things that happened to her. The act of turning away opens the door to that behavior, we can't believe that someone would do that and so we don't let ourselves see things that in retrospect should be red flags. Would you let your little girl be alone with someone you didn't know very well? Would you let her go into the basement with him to play with no supervision? What if he were super nice and had lots of pets and was a really good listener? What if he didn't seem like the kind of person who would do that? This book shows not just what happened but how it was allowed to happen. I think that for me I felt that if she could survive it than the least I could do was know it. Other reviewers where upset that there wasn't closure at the end or that it didn't seem like she had healed or moved on, that's not how life works though. She is going to be dealing with her past the rest of her life, her abuser was as much a part of her life as her parents were and had an even bigger part in shaping her personality. Ultimately I think what bothered people was that she talked about the fact that she loved him and never refuted that and that's uncomfortable to hear. I think the kind of person who can't understand that is the same kind of person who looks at someone in an abusive relationship and thinks, "Why don't they just leave? I would never stay with someone who did that." Fragoso's story shouldn't have occurred but it did and I think we owe it to her and others like her to listen. (less)

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May 24, 2011 Julie rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is such a hard book to describe or review. I literally felt sick to my stomach the entire book and every time I got done reading a bit I just felt so depressed. You wonder to yourself why I kept reading it? Well, I wanted to see how it finally ended. I wanted to read how she moved on from that experience, and eventually had a daughter of her own. THAT really didn't happen...it was over and he was gone and that was that. What a horrible thing for Margaux to go through. I felt so badly for he...more

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May 23, 2011 Topher Hooperton rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm a terrible book reviewer: not only is this copy atrociously late, but I'd also got the impression that the story in Tiger, Tiger, a memoir by Margaux Fragoso, somehow pertained to tigers. It doesn't.

A quick scan down the back cover revealed it's true content:

"I still think about Peter, the man I loved most in the world, all the time ... We were friends, soul mates and lovers. I was seven. He was fifty-one. They were the happiest days of my life."

It's fair to say that I was daunted by the sub...more I'm a terrible book reviewer: not only is this copy atrociously late, but I'd also got the impression that the story in Tiger, Tiger, a memoir by Margaux Fragoso, somehow pertained to tigers. It doesn't.

A quick scan down the back cover revealed it's true content:

"I still think about Peter, the man I loved most in the world, all the time ... We were friends, soul mates and lovers. I was seven. He was fifty-one. They were the happiest days of my life."

It's fair to say that I was daunted by the subject matter, and the book lay shamefully unread as I worked up the courage to plough through it, somewhat nervous that it would be an Oprah's book club misery-porn special. It wasn't.

The book takes us through Margaux's troubled upbringing, to her meeting with the charming Peter with his lank grey bowl-cut, menagerie of animals and ability to make the neglected young girl feel special. The subsequent manipulation and abuse is described unflinchingly by the author, who claims in an afterword to be using the book to come to terms with what happened.

The book has been hyped as one of the most talked about autobiographies of 2011, and has been caught between reviews that applaud the author's bravery in recounting her sexual abuse, and those who have criticised its graphic, perhaps voyeuristic, depiction of events.

I found it utterly engrossing. Disturbing and unsettling, yes, but with a dazzling avoidance of self-pity and a highly nuanced view of the author's own pre-pubescent psyche.

The inner turmoil is brilliantly portrayed: Margaux's self-certainty and confidence obscures a buried fury, which finds a way to bubble to the surface in unexpected moments.

I doubt it's possible to say that reading Tiger, Tiger is a particularly enjoyable experience; it's disturbing and depressing to say the least. However, it's far more literary than your average memoir. The inner life of a very confused young girl is teased out by Fragoso's decision to avoid sensationalism, opting instead for a bone-chilling matter-of-fact tone that stayed with me for days.

(Originally published on tvnz.co.nz)
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Apr 25, 2011 C.E. Trueman rated it 5 of 5 stars

I couldn't put this book down. Margaux chronicles the true story of her secret 14-year relationship with a paedophile old enough to be her grandfather using the most poetic, poignant and honest prose I have ever read, and giving the reader a harrowing and yet human insight into the mind of both a paedophile and his innocent victim. It reads like a beautifully written novel and yet sadly it is only too real.
Emotionally and physically abused by her overworked alcoholic father and neglected by her...more

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Apr 24, 2011 Louise rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

Margaux Fragoso had a sexual relationship for 15 years with a pedophile. She was only 7-years-old when she first met Peter Curran. Margaux says she was: “...Peter’s religion”. He had 22 photo albums full of pictures of Margaux.

Margaux and her mother, Sandie, began visiting Peter at his home every Monday and Friday after meeting him at the community pool. Margaux was completely taken with the large number of pets Peter kept, everything from a dog to a small alligator. Visiting Peter was a nice br...more Margaux Fragoso had a sexual relationship for 15 years with a pedophile. She was only 7-years-old when she first met Peter Curran. Margaux says she was: “...Peter’s religion”. He had 22 photo albums full of pictures of Margaux.

Margaux and her mother, Sandie, began visiting Peter at his home every Monday and Friday after meeting him at the community pool. Margaux was completely taken with the large number of pets Peter kept, everything from a dog to a small alligator. Visiting Peter was a nice break from Margaux’s Spanish father, Louie, who was violent and full of put-downs. He especially treated Margaux’s mother terribly as she had a mental illness. Peter’s live-in partner, Ines, worked full-time but Peter stayed home on a disability pension after being injured in the Korean war.

After a couple of months of visiting Peter, he begins to kiss Margaux on the lips telling her that’s what people do when they love each other. That eventually led to Peter and Margaux spending more time together in the basement. While they played, Peter would tell her that the world lies and parents should use the proper names for their private parts because they were meant to bring pleasure. Peter eventually talked Margaux into playing hide n’ seek while ‘she’ was naked.

When a few months had passed, Peter took in a 6-year-old ‘foster child’ named Karen. Who in their right mind places a child with someone like Peter? Obviously he had more people duped than Margaux and her mother.

At home, things were terribly intense. Louie was constantly berating Sandy and spent the majority of his time yelling and telling her what she couldn’t do. He wouldn’t allow her to cook, keep house, or comb Margaux’s hair. He told her she was too stupid and had mental problems and therefore “he” had to do “everything”. Louie’s constant harassment made visiting Peter that much more appealing for Sandy and Margaux.

It absolutely made me angrier than a wet hen that Peter was outright molesting and lying to Margaux. On top of that, Peter knew how verbally and emotionally abusive her father was. Children are so innocent and believe anything adults or people in places of authority like teachers, police, clergy and others tell them. Peter was impressing upon Margaux how much “they” loved each other, and that “they” were made to be together and get married some day. Margaux at age 8 now fully believed she was quite mature and knew more than Karen did because she was only 6. You can see the amount of psychological damage Peter has already bestowed upon Margaux when she believed she was going to marry a man who was 52 and older than her own father.

This is just an overview of the story and believe it or not, there is so, so much more to this tale that you’ll be utterly surprised, shocked and sickened. However, if you have a difficult time dealing with thoughts of pedophiles molesting young children, then this book would be far too heavy emotionally for you to read. I wasn’t quite prepared enough myself to read this memoir.

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Apr 04, 2011 Sofia rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I read about Margaux Fragoso's memoir through the Observer a week ago. The book is about a girl's 15-year relationship with her 'lover', started when she was seven until his death. The book was reviewed by a critic, an expert (psychiatrist) and a victim. The victim's testimony is what mattered to me. The critic concentrated on Fragoso's style and the expert mooned over her suspect reasons for sharing her experience. The victim said she wondered why anyone would want to read this book voluntarily...more I read about Margaux Fragoso's memoir through the Observer a week ago. The book is about a girl's 15-year relationship with her 'lover', started when she was seven until his death. The book was reviewed by a critic, an expert (psychiatrist) and a victim. The victim's testimony is what mattered to me. The critic concentrated on Fragoso's style and the expert mooned over her suspect reasons for sharing her experience. The victim said she wondered why anyone would want to read this book voluntarily. I agree with her as I felt as though I stood on quicksand from the moment it began and chose to remain in it until it swallowed me.

I felt Fargoso's insight must have taken so much work, because of her honesty. In England, the book has been received with mixed reviews. Some suggest it was written to sensationalise, but I don't think it has. Fragoso is of my generation and her life is eerily akin to mine, and by this I mean she could have been my neighbour, my friend, the girl in my class. I engaged in abusive relationships based on my own damanged childhood, though I cannot profess they are in any way like Fragoso's, but you do feel you know what you are doing. I did. It isn't black and white, because that codependancy is addictive and destructive in equal measures, but by no means right. One of my favourite quotes is by Face to Face's song Disconnected: "Trust is something that comes easy. When you've never been a victim." Fragoso was most certainly a victim and adults in her life most certainly failed her.

I feel those who cannot stomach this sort of book should not read it. Unlike books I've come across that, in my view, exploit a victim's life for our own mundane gratification (how many times have I heard "at least my life isn't like that..."), it is a true account of what happened and how Margaux felt through those 15 years spent being abused and loving that man. A man met by chance who was quick to exploit the daughter of a terribly dysfunctional home. I didn't feel this story sensationalised her ordeal - Margaux, in her own way, loved her abuser. Those relationships are very complicated and in my exprience, the hardest to unpick and dissolve.

I'd love to make this into a film. Sensitively. I have to say I find Fragoso quite brave - were this fiction, I could echo all accusations made by the media and critics who have panned it. She has delivered something that is hers alone and is now being criticised for it. I found it more liberating to write about my own experiences, though I do not anticipate they will become a sensational memoir such as hers is.

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Apr 04, 2011 Marianne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: adult-books

This was one of those books that i just had to finish. I needed to know what happened to the author. Despite its difficult subject matter, sexual abuse on a child, this book is beautifully written. You really get to know the author deep down: her insecurities, her pain, her terrible childhood and the man that saved her from her mentally ill and alcoholic parents yet took away her childhood and destroyed what she could have been. You are torn when you read this: the author's homelife is terrible...more

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Apr 02, 2011 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a memoir written by a woman who continued a relationship from the age of 8 with a pedophile until he died by suicide when she was in her 20's. I read this book because the reviews of it were so intriguing. No doubt this book is graphic and disturbing. Horribly so. But what I appreciated about this book were the fascinating the complex family dynamics that explain in someways why the young girl is vulnerable to the affections of an older man and the courage the author displays in admittin...more

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Quotes from Tiger, Tiger: A Memoir

“This isn't fair! This is sick! I can't be a little girl again! And now you're telling me I'm not allowed to be a woman!' I knew the most important thing was that I keep moving forward, that I leave the girl I was behind me, but now he wanted to stop me from doing so.” — 3 people liked it

“I also read that spending time with a pedophile can be like a drug high. There was this girl who said it’s as if the pedophile lives in a fantastic kind of reality, and that fantasticness infects everything. Kind of like they’re children themselves, only full of the knowledge that children don’t have. Their imaginations are stronger than kids’ and they can build realities that small kids would never be able to dream up. They can make the child’s world… ecstatic somehow. And when it’s over, for people who’ve been through this, it’s like coming off of heroin and, for years, they can’t stop chasing the ghost of how it felt. One girl said that it’s like the earth is scorched and the grass won’t grow back. And the ground looks black and barren but inside it’s still burning.” — 2 people liked it

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