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84th out of 84 books
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584 voters
A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage
In the tradition of Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, comes a poignant memoir about a marriage that was as deep and strong as it was mysterious and complex
Upton and Sally Brady were a rare breed: cultivated and elegant, they lived a life of literary glamour and high expectations. Sally a debutante; Upton a classics major from Harvard, they met at the Boston Coti...more
Upton and Sally Brady were a rare breed: cultivated and elegant, they lived a life of literary glamour and high expectations. Sally a debutante; Upton a classics major from Harvard, they met at the Boston Coti...more
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published
February 1st 2011
by St. Martin's Press
(first published January 22nd 2011)
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This was a title I got through Goodreads First reads, and I put off reading it because it's not my usual fare. As a school librarian, I usually read children's and YA books, and if I actually read a "grown-up" book, I usually prefer fiction. But having devoured Sapphique and not being prepared with another book I picked up "Box of Darkness", and I didn't want to put it down. Sally Ryder Brady has written a story of the marriage to her husband of 45 years. After his death, she used the writing pr...more
I received this book as A First Reads giveaway. I enjoyed the book, though I think the author sold herself short. I was left wondering why she remained in her marriage for so long when she really only presented a cursory and superficial description of her husband's good qualities. He was presented in a very negative light. I was left feeling--not that they had a deep and complex marriage--but rather that she was a weak and co-dependent woman who chose to ignore major warning signs in her attempt...more
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I liked this book, I really liked it, but I always felt that the author was creating herself as a persona while she told the story of her husband, Upton, and their marriage. I had put aside another memoir of a marriage, one by Katherine Weber, whose Objects in the Mirror are Closer than they Appear I had completely enjoyed. Weber's memoir was about her grandmother's affair with George Gershwin. That sounds interesting, doesn't it? Not so much. Too distant from her own concerns, perhaps, and the...more
This is another in those bitter modern memoirs that are circulating now, but better written than most. The gist of it is that Sally Ryder Brady married and had 5 children with (SPOILER ALERT) a man, who became a prominent editor of The Atlantic Monthly, who she realizes after his death was either bisexual or gay but unable to accept his homosexuality. Still, I kept getting an uneasy feeing throughout the book...she seemed just too good to be true (verbally and emotionally abused by her mother an...more
This book was definitely a page turner, but through the whole thing I wanted to slap all the main characters. Sally is a debutante during the late 1950's, who walks a little bit on the wild side when she dates men not of her ethnic or religious background. She dated a Greek man who she was in love with, when his parents objected to the difference in backgrounds and recommended that they take a few months off from each other. Good for them, they probably did the right thing for their son. They to...more
Just finished this book. It was a memoir about a woman who was married to man for 46 years and after his death, is faced with dealing with the problems they had in marriage, one of the problems being the possibility that he was a closeted homosexual. It was engaging and heartbreaking in many ways. I truly found the story interesting, but I wasn't crazy about the writing style. I was confused by some of the things the author decided to included or possibly not include. Some of the things she wrot...more
This was a very honest and at times, an uncomfortable and painful memoir to read. Written by Sally Ryder Brady about her relationship with her husband, Upton, this memoir alternates between the past (when they first met and the course of their relationship) and comes back to the present where Sally is learning how to deal with her life as a widow.
While going through some of Upton's belongings after his death, Sally discovers something which is very shocking to her and leaves her questioning whe...more
While going through some of Upton's belongings after his death, Sally discovers something which is very shocking to her and leaves her questioning whe...more
WARNING: LOTS OF SPOILERS.
I absolutely enjoyed reading this book because the author is quite adept at telling a story, and has a gift for detail. She definitely transports the reader to the particular time and place, and I thought the subject matter was absolutely compelling. That being said, I found Mrs. Ryder Brady's reaction to her husband dislosing to her that he had slept with another man to be disingenous, perplexing and downright idiotic. She literally packed her skis and took off for the...more
I absolutely enjoyed reading this book because the author is quite adept at telling a story, and has a gift for detail. She definitely transports the reader to the particular time and place, and I thought the subject matter was absolutely compelling. That being said, I found Mrs. Ryder Brady's reaction to her husband dislosing to her that he had slept with another man to be disingenous, perplexing and downright idiotic. She literally packed her skis and took off for the...more
I'm always grateful to Goodreads First Reads to have the privilege of reading a pre-pub book. I gravitated to this one because of the publisher's comparisons to Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking, a lyrical, unflinching highly introspective book about the death of Didion's husband, John Gregory Dunne.
This is not that book.
Sally Ryder Brady -- the long-time wife of Upton Brady, the editor-in-chief of Atlantic Monthly Press -- lived in a rarefied world of famous writers and parties, sailboats...more
This is not that book.
Sally Ryder Brady -- the long-time wife of Upton Brady, the editor-in-chief of Atlantic Monthly Press -- lived in a rarefied world of famous writers and parties, sailboats...more
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A sad tale of a marriage based on misperception and deceit. Upton Brady, a devout Catholic and closet gay (and alcoholic) hopes that marriage to Sally Ryder will provide him with the normalcy and family life he desperately desires. Sally willfully ignores any hint of Upton’s sexuality (both are virgins when they meet) even when an acquaintance outright informs her. Both dwell in a land of wishful thinking and for awhile they realize the upper middle class lifestyle to which they aspire, parentin...more
How often do we look at our spouse, the person we've promised to honor and cherish, and we believe those vows in our hearts, until one day we ask, "Who are you anyway?" Each of us has an inner life. How much of our inner lives do we share with those we love?
In Sally Ryder Brady's memoir, "A Box of Darkness," her husband Upton is all that she could ever want, once she makes up her mind between him and the elegant, soulful Nikos. Upton is so witty, erudite, romantic. He tells her he cannot live wi...more
In Sally Ryder Brady's memoir, "A Box of Darkness," her husband Upton is all that she could ever want, once she makes up her mind between him and the elegant, soulful Nikos. Upton is so witty, erudite, romantic. He tells her he cannot live wi...more
I'm a sucker for memoirs, so when I came across this book at the library, I thought, "Why not?" Sally Ryder Brady is a young, beautiful debutante in the late 1950s. Upton Birnie Brady is a handsome Harvard student. On the surface, it seems that they have the perfect life and marriage. Upton is an alcoholic, verbally abusive and controlling. Sally is codependent, for a long time blaming herself for Upton's issues. Upton is also attracted to men, confessing at one time early in their marriage to h...more
This is one of those memoirs that most likely served as a cathartic experience for its writer, and is of such a personal nature that, while one can thus understand the writing of it, one really can't understand the need to publish it. Barely five pages into her narrative the author recalls an act of physical intimacy with her husband so personal that I think I actually recoiled from the page: Too much information, lady, I thought, What made you think anyone needed to know that?
One of the questio...more
One of the questio...more
Superficial in the extreme. This book offered no insights into either Upton or Sally or their worlds; except perhaps that Sally's connections managed to get her a publisher for this self-indulgent, cathartic novella.
After reading the publisher's blurbs and reviews, I thought I would get some sort of idea as to how a woman can stay with a man who she knows to be gay, who is abusive, and who is an alcoholic who will not stop drinking. Not.
This read like a cliff notes and gave nothing except a ske...more
After reading the publisher's blurbs and reviews, I thought I would get some sort of idea as to how a woman can stay with a man who she knows to be gay, who is abusive, and who is an alcoholic who will not stop drinking. Not.
This read like a cliff notes and gave nothing except a ske...more
This book was mildly interesting for its description of a time gone by, when good girls from Northeast Protestant families went "bad" by dating outside their denominations, dropped out of Barnard to become someone's secretary, took acting classes and did one year of summer stock, got emotionally steamrolled by their awful, borderline personality disorder mothers, and then, their husbands. This story is probably entertaining for the seersucker suit set, many of whom must know the Bradys by reputa...more
Nov 05, 2011
Angie
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Diane , I really think you'll like this one .
Shelves:
non-fiction,
memoir
This book is a wonderful reminder to me of what my dear and amazing friend , Diane, and I so often talk about - " Everyone has a story " . This is Sally Ryder Brady's story .
My three star rating only reflects my humble opinion of the book , it's cover , the writing style , etc . Sally Ryder Brady's " story " deserves a 5 star rating .
Her " story " told on the written page through timelines , events and other characters really is much deeper than any written word . It is HER story and speaks...more
My three star rating only reflects my humble opinion of the book , it's cover , the writing style , etc . Sally Ryder Brady's " story " deserves a 5 star rating .
Her " story " told on the written page through timelines , events and other characters really is much deeper than any written word . It is HER story and speaks...more
I won this book from Goodreads. I wasn't sure what to think about this book as I started the story, but deep into the second chapter or so, I was hooked. What an inspiring story of courage, loyalty and understanding from the view of this author. I was so impressed at the way Mrs. Brady lived her life knowing that she was with the right person for her, all the while being the keeper of her husband's secret. The compassion, love, frustration and confusion she has for her late husband is portrayed...more
Incredibly honest and loving exploration of a beloved marriage to a difficult man. And of a difficult marriage to a beloved man. At times I wanted the author to take her younger self to task more seriously, or perhaps explain what she would have done differently. But the author wisely knows you can only make choices once, and working backwards, or wishing to revise, is not only pointless but cheapens the heart an energy put into those decisions in the first place. The point is to grow forward, t...more
I received Sally Ryder Brady’s book A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Sally Ryder Brady’s A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage offers a glimpse into the lives of two fascinating individuals who share a deep love and enduring friendship, as well as a passionate commitment to making their partnership work. The author brings you on a tumultuous ride that is the story of her life with Upton Brady, a victim of a conservative upbringing, strict rel...more
Sally Ryder Brady’s A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage offers a glimpse into the lives of two fascinating individuals who share a deep love and enduring friendship, as well as a passionate commitment to making their partnership work. The author brings you on a tumultuous ride that is the story of her life with Upton Brady, a victim of a conservative upbringing, strict rel...more
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Upton and Sally Brady were a rare breed; cultivated and elegant, they lived a life of literary glamour and high expectations. Sally a debutante; Upton a classics major from Harvard, they met at the Boston Cotillion. He was articulate, witty, and worldly, and he danced like Fred Astaire. How could she resist? Despite raising four children on Upton's modest wage as the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic Monthly Press, theirs was a world of champagne, sailboats, private islands, famous writers, family...more
Very well written and certainly held my interest - but there were times in the middle when I took a real dislike to the author. If you are afraid for your children - not physically but emotionally - is it really a good idea to stay married? It would be interesting to have their take on things. I also found it hard to believe that she was surprised, after her husband's death, to find out that he was either gay or bisexual - after all, he admitted during their marriage to having sex with another m...more
This is a very well-written memoir of a marriage that was richly blessed, idyllic, and filled with pain and sorrow. The author writes eloquently and simply about her complicated husband - there was so much that they shared; love, intelligent conversation, music, dancing, literature - but there was also a part of her husband that he held back. Lots of love and lots of anger - the writer conveys her memories without seemingly to breach their intimacy. Brady decides to share her story after secrets...more
The description of the book hooked me. I wanted to like this book more than I did. As I read the novel, I found myself disliking the author. Maybe it is different generations-but I found it hard to believe she would be shocked to find gay porn after her husband died when he freely admitted he had homosexual encounters. I also couldn't relate to someone that had no idea of what happened financially in the house. The marriage described by the author never truly seemed like a companionable partners...more
Candid story of a marriage by the wife, who discovers (or is reminded) after her husband dies of his strong attraction to men.
They met and married young in the late 50s/ early 60s. She converts to Catholicism, a certain devout observance being all the rage at the time. They remain a holy and committed couple, and raise sane kids, despite his alcoholism and gay leanings. This is a man who sewed. Waiting for Guffman comes to mind.
In the end, the revelation about her husband's sexuality is less sur...more
They met and married young in the late 50s/ early 60s. She converts to Catholicism, a certain devout observance being all the rage at the time. They remain a holy and committed couple, and raise sane kids, despite his alcoholism and gay leanings. This is a man who sewed. Waiting for Guffman comes to mind.
In the end, the revelation about her husband's sexuality is less sur...more
Brady's memoir of her strong, but unique marriage is well-written and especially interesting to those of us who grew up in the Boston area. Debutante Sally Ryder met Harvard classics major Upton Brady at the Boston Cotillion. They married and had four children. Upton became the director of the Atlantic Monthly Press. The couple enjoyed a rich and satisfying life, mingling with the famous from both the publishing and Hollywood worlds. It wasn't until after Upton's death in 2008 that Sally discove...more
This is a lovely book about marriage. It explores love, fidelity and commitment,exposes the real pain that is inevitable in a marriage of any real length. We live in a time when people divorce quickly and for reasons of much less importance and consequence that what Sally Ryder Brady addresses here. She delves into the meaning of love and relationship in the face of great deception. The book is less about homosexuality for me than it is about loving a deeply flawed, destructive human being. Ms....more
I was born in 1940 and am a year younger than Sally Brady. In reading her story, I was with her every step of the way, from the late 1950's to 2008, a generation of enormous change and outlook regarding alcohol, sex, bounderies, the woman's movement. My husband is a recovering alcoholic. The mistakes Sally made of ignorance, denial, secrecy, are mine, too. After reading her beautifully written book, I feet less guilt, and feel forgiven in some way. Her book is a gift to anyone married to a bisex...more
The title of this true story, “A Box of Darkness - The Story of a Marriage” fits very well. Sally Ryder Brady’s book is powerful and well written, and tells the story of a woman discovering unsettling things about her husband - after he dies suddenly. Though on the surface, and in public, the marriage seems one to be envied; underneath the relationship is filled with the many complexities of intertwining two adult lives.
“A Box of Darkness” however, also reveals that one of the couple’s lives is...more
Brady and her husband, Upton, married when she was a teenager in 1956. Upton was a wonderful dancer, a handyman, able to fix everything, and sewed like a pro. He became editor-in-chief for Atlantic Monthly Press. The couple, quickly after marrying, had four children. Life seemed idyllic.
After forty-six years of marriage, in 2008, Upton died suddenly. As Sally begins to sort through Upton’s belongings she discovers his hidden homosexual life, which perhaps explains his propensity for heavy drink...more
After forty-six years of marriage, in 2008, Upton died suddenly. As Sally begins to sort through Upton’s belongings she discovers his hidden homosexual life, which perhaps explains his propensity for heavy drink...more
Although I could not relate to a marriage such as the one Sally Ryder and Upton Brady had, her story reminded me just how incredibly complex the union of marriage can be and most often is. The reason I love to read is that it affords me such different viewpoints from my own and insights into life the I might never have if I didn't read. Some viewpoints I don't share, some I do and often times I find that certain books open me up and expand my understanding of the world and people in general. And...more
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Sally Ryder Brady, writer, teacher, and free-lance editor, is the author of the novel, INSTAR (Doubleday 1976; Ballantine 1977), an illustrated book of adult humor, SWEET MEMORIES (Bloomsbury USA 2006), and two books of non-fiction, A YANKEE CHRISTMAS Featuring Nantucket & A YANKEE CHRISTMAS Featuring Vermont (Yankee Books/Rodale 1992 & 1993) for which she appeared on Oprah. Her short stor...more
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