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Raising a Son: Parents and the Making of a Healthy Man
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Raising a Son: Parents and the Making of a Healthy Man

3.51 of 5 stars 3.51  ·  rating details  ·  90 ratings  ·  24 reviews
Boys pose special challenges for today’s stressed parents. InRaising A Son, the Eliums embrace the challenges--and the joys--of raising boys with compassion, commitment, experience, patience, and humor. This fully updated and expanded edition follows the psychological development of boys from infancy to young adulthood. Look for new sections on:

• media and violence
• the “b...more
Paperback, 344 pages
Published November 1st 2004 by Celestial Arts (first published March 1992)
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Katie
Feb 27, 2009 Katie added it
Shelves: abandoned
I'm about halfway through so far and I have to say that there's an awful lot of speculation and assumption without a whole lot of substantial evidence to back up the claims of this couple. As a book that talks about raising boys into men in a post-feminist era, the wife doesn't have too much to say. "Don"'s comments, however, are strewn throughout the book as experiential evidence of their theories and ideas.

I really enjoyed the first section on the physical development of men. The second sectio...more
Colleen Broce
Raising a Son addresses specifically the needs of males in our society and their physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing in each developmental phases.
Phoebe
This is a good book. It gives a historical perspective to the male archetype and a general framework for parenting but with key things to keep in mind for sons specifically. Later chapters focus on attributes for different age ranges. I found it all very insightful and practical.

I read the chapters in order but the authors do a good job of redirecting readers back to the framework described early on, good for those who skip ahead to the age-range chapters first. There was a little preachiness in...more
Erin
Jan 06, 2011 Erin rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: parents of boys
I read this book slowly, over the course of several months, and although I appreciated what the authors had to say, I think I would have been better off had I read it faster. Much of what the book covers is really Parenting 101, just targeted to boys, so it wasn't all that revelatory to me personally. However, I think there are thousands--maybe millions--of parents out there who would GREATLY benefit from reading and internalizing this book, given the wretched parenting I see all too often where...more
Andrea
Making my husband read it as I thought he would get much more out of it. Focus is on the important role of fathers or male role models to shape our boys in good men. After 8 they don't seem to need Mom as much and I see that to some degree in my older son (9). I miss my baby boy who needed me so so much for security and warmth.
Ashlyn Hunt

Raising a Son is quite literally the ultimate handbook to understanding a boy's development, psychology, and biology in the modern world. I'm so grateful to have ascertained a copy while my son is still a toddler. The knowledge I've acquired through this read is priceless.

Don and Jeanne Elium have undoubtedly brought me closer to my son. As a mother, obviously of the opposite sex, there were times when I felt helpless and unprepared for what to expect or offer with a son, and how to address gend...more
April
Appalling. Apparently, it is impossible to become a man without macho father figures. Bunk.
Amy
Sep 26, 2007 Amy rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Mothers & Fathers
Shelves: parenting
I really enjoyed this. I admittedly skimmed some of the portions on older childhood as my son is still a toddler. I really enjoyed how tied together the book was on talking about the needs of a child but also addressing that we didn't always have our needs met, so crossing that bridge while crucial, might be a little trying too. I am definitely going to be asking my husband to read this. I am glad I found this book as I was very disappointed in On Raising Boys.
Celia
this seems like just another book making parents crazy. I got to the part where being a working mother scars your children for life and stopped.
Katie
Really insightful read. Although it borders on speculative, it offers a lot of genuine deliberation on what it means to raise a man. I have appreciated the candor and focus on the male as a whole general force as opposed to many other parenting books that focus on your child's 'uniqueness'. It is nice to hear how men connect and how that relates.
Amy Elizabeth
A good how to book broken down into age groupings on what to expect and common issues. A good deal of focus paid to tv watching and the evils surrounding it. The sexuality part was worthwhile. I think I will need about 20 more how to books before I know how to have The Big talk :-).
Jennyprice
I didn't finish this because the authors' style didn't work for me. I think there is some good info in here, I just didn't have the patience to wade through it and deal with the commentary on the downsides of "modern life."
Heather
This is a great read. I read up through age 10 and plan to read it again as my son grows. I learned more about how a boy operates and I think it will help me relate to my son better as he grows.
Elizabeth
A great guide to all ages and stages of boyhood. I will be referring back to it over the ages. A bit exhausting with the references to tribal times, so slow to start, but useful overall.
Dave
An insightful book that really allows the reader to reflect on how we make our choices in raising kids. Some good concrete stuff that helps out.
Melissa
This book gave me a wonderful peek into the mind of my son. Being from an all-girl family myself, it is like a manual for me in raising my son.
Harmonkurt
1950 called it wants its book back. Horribly stereotypes men. As an involved dad this book was insulting.
Jennifer
OK. The authors had a few good ideas. I hope there are much better books out there on raising boys!
Julie
Just ok. Hard to read. A lot of opinions from the authors. Explains why boys behave as they do.
Dalon
Feb 23, 2012 Dalon marked it as to-read
still reading this ... started a while ago ... raising kids is a lifelong process anyway, right?!
Julie
Very hard to read so I gave up...too many other good books out there to waste time on it.
Angela Wade
Mediocre at best and filled with personal opinions rather than scientific facts.
Matt Ely
A very helpful tool in understanding the psyche and behavior of my boys.
Shannon
Good resource for a few ideas. (Library)
Kristy
Kristy marked it as to-read
Oct 22, 2014
Heather Vandervelden
Heather Vandervelden marked it as to-read
Oct 08, 2014
Amy West
Amy West marked it as to-read
Sep 27, 2014
Alia Pranke
Alia Pranke marked it as to-read
Sep 13, 2014
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“I complained to a friend that although I had completed six years in therapy, my mother still wouldn’t let me go. He replied, "She’s not supposed to let you go. Your father is supposed to come and get you.” 4 likes
“Quality time is not the same as the everydayness of being together. Let’s neither glorify nor undervalue.” 1 likes
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