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55th out of 258 books
—
569 voters
Assholes Finish First
by
Tucker Max
From the Tucker Max website:
What do you do when you've become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I'll tell you what I do: I write another fucking book.
This is that book. Assholes Finish First is hilarious in ways you will recognize from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and in other, newer ways you won't. Of course i...more
What do you do when you've become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I'll tell you what I do: I write another fucking book.
This is that book. Assholes Finish First is hilarious in ways you will recognize from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and in other, newer ways you won't. Of course i...more
Hardcover, 404 pages
Published
September 28th 2010
by Gallery Books
(first published February 1st 2008)
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75th out of 92 books
—
111 voters
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You know what's worse than all the haters dogging out Tucker Max for being a self-proclaimed misogynist skank who gets more action than a toilet seat? It's all the women he sleeps with because of said attitude. Even though I'm sure his stories are exaggerated, I have no doubt that a good portion is true. And you know what else? They're hilarious!! I mean c'mon:
“The baby starts crying. The mom looks worried. I offer to help her make the baby stop. Stydie is skeptical, “Tucker, do you even know w...more
“The baby starts crying. The mom looks worried. I offer to help her make the baby stop. Stydie is skeptical, “Tucker, do you even know w...more
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If you know me then you know I am a truly good person who doesn't break the law or do drugs. I am not promiscuous, and I don't drink a lot.
Having said all that I love Tucker Max. He is irreverent and honest. Yes, he is that smart and if he were to use his powers for good the world would be a better place but far less interesting. He probably wouldn't even like me because let's face it I don't fit his ideal girl and I'm not a guy. That's fine I don't want to sleep with him or hang with him. I ju...more
Having said all that I love Tucker Max. He is irreverent and honest. Yes, he is that smart and if he were to use his powers for good the world would be a better place but far less interesting. He probably wouldn't even like me because let's face it I don't fit his ideal girl and I'm not a guy. That's fine I don't want to sleep with him or hang with him. I ju...more
The second book just makes Tucker seem like a one-trick pony. While his first was pretty damn hilarious, AFF is just a pitiful look at a middle-aged douche who doesn't quite know how to grow up. While Tucker IS a filthy pig, I feel less disgusted by him than by the hundreds of gutter skanks who have willingly and stupidly chosen to be his cum dumpster. Tucker, for the love of god just stop with the filthy hookers. A little more funny and a lot less about vaginas, please.
Not as mortifying/horrifying as I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and therefore, not as enjoyable. However, I still let out audible gasps at parts and laughed out loud, so I'm not asking for those hours of my life back.
More of the "real" Tucker Max is exposed - he is no longer a one-dimensional, drunk, sex enthusiast. He writes about two relationships and how one day he wishes to get married and have kids. I found myself turned off by all this information. Part of the charm of IHTSBIH was his unap...more
More of the "real" Tucker Max is exposed - he is no longer a one-dimensional, drunk, sex enthusiast. He writes about two relationships and how one day he wishes to get married and have kids. I found myself turned off by all this information. Part of the charm of IHTSBIH was his unap...more
I'm rating this 4 stars merely because of its genre. Tucker Max made me laugh, inappropriately throughout the entirety of the book, and I must say, for a completely arrogant, entirely narcissistic individual, he is incredibly gifted with intelligence, wit, and literary prowess. It's almost as if he were accidentally blessed.
4 likes · like · see review
Don’t get me wrong, in my opinion, this guy is an Asshole and I most likely would never hang with him in college, work, as a neighbor, etc... But man are his stories funny. You will talking about them to those that have never read his book, never intended to read his book and even use some as bar stories, water cooler humor, etc.
This womanizer walks you through his life stories that are just too dumb to make up. At first you may think he is bragging about his prowess, his intelligent or even his...more
This womanizer walks you through his life stories that are just too dumb to make up. At first you may think he is bragging about his prowess, his intelligent or even his...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
My boyfriend lent me this book (which he hadn't entirely read himself) to give me something not-depressing to read as I tried to fill the time at a boring job. The first account in the book, of the author being an obnoxious college student with a megaphone, made me laugh out loud and gave me a weird sense of nostalgia. Another account involving an RV in Harlem and several early internet fans was really entertaining as well.
But I guess as a fairly mature female with empathy for others--whether t...more
But I guess as a fairly mature female with empathy for others--whether t...more
Tucker Max: the Homeric Hero.
I'm not too high-falutin' to admit it: I've been known to pick up an enjoy a Tucker Max book from time to time, and last night I finished his latest, Assholes Finish First. The short review: love him or hate him, the man knows how to tell a story, and he's got a knack for a turn of phrase (one of my favs from the book: he has sex with a thin woman and says it was "like falling into a pile of brooms"), and, as with any bar room flirt, there seems refreshing solidity t...more
I'm not too high-falutin' to admit it: I've been known to pick up an enjoy a Tucker Max book from time to time, and last night I finished his latest, Assholes Finish First. The short review: love him or hate him, the man knows how to tell a story, and he's got a knack for a turn of phrase (one of my favs from the book: he has sex with a thin woman and says it was "like falling into a pile of brooms"), and, as with any bar room flirt, there seems refreshing solidity t...more
I wish I could give it 1 1/2 stars, because I did laugh a couple of times (especially the first chapter, assuming it was true). There I was at B&N, doing last minute shopping, and the title sucked me in. The first couple of pages amused me. Anyone who has been to the B&N in Seattle knows the first floor is below street level and phone service stinks. There was no way to do a quick check of reviews or to Google the author. Had I done so...
At first, Tucker Max reminds me of guys I used to...more
At first, Tucker Max reminds me of guys I used to...more
I picked this up at the airport because I needed some light reading and was in a rush. I couldn't imagine that someone would publish such drivel, so I was expecting irreverence and debauchery with maybe a little something to make it interesting. I was expecting maybe a modern day, lightweight Bukowski.
What I got was party tales of a frat boy (though I'm not sure if he was actually in a fraternity) and heaping helpings of drunken debauchery, but nothing that was actually interesting or funny enou...more
What I got was party tales of a frat boy (though I'm not sure if he was actually in a fraternity) and heaping helpings of drunken debauchery, but nothing that was actually interesting or funny enou...more
Tucker Max is the kind of guy that no father wants his daughter to meet. Ever. He shows no respect for human beings and is very condescending towards everything. That shouldn't come as a surprise, considering this guy is writing about all the sexcapades he's had during the years. Sadly enough, one would think that even guys like him would eventually grow up and mature. Not Tucker Max. He's the epitome of a predator. Taking advantage of girls when they're drunk and even soliciting sex on his webs...more
Tucker Max is a very American author. And I mean that as a way to explain why he is so famous. (Despite the fact that I had never heard of him until I saw the trailer for his movie starring Logan from Gilmore Girls, and even then I had no idea who he was and never bothered to find out, until I saw "I Hope They Serve Beer In Heaven" on the floor in front of my friend Lily's bookshelf in the new apartment she was moving into in the UP, and had an aneurysm and read it.)
Tucker Max is pretty amusing....more
Tucker Max is pretty amusing....more
A**holes Finish First
There has only been a few books that I have thoroughly enjoyed in my life, and one of those books was Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max. Assholes Finish First is the sequel to my all time favorite book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, so I knew I had to get it the first day it came out. These books have to be the funniest books I have ever read in my entire life. The author painted very clear pictures in my head when I was reading it and I felt I could see exactly what he...more
There has only been a few books that I have thoroughly enjoyed in my life, and one of those books was Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max. Assholes Finish First is the sequel to my all time favorite book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, so I knew I had to get it the first day it came out. These books have to be the funniest books I have ever read in my entire life. The author painted very clear pictures in my head when I was reading it and I felt I could see exactly what he...more
Assholes Finish First
During the time I read Assholes Finish First, I was constantly laughing. When I read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, I knew I had to read this book. Tucker Max thought he should share his adventures with the world and he did a very good job doing it. Parts of this book captivated me very much, keeping me laughing at every insane situation Tucker would get himself in to. What also made me laugh was Tucker’s very sarcastic sense of humor. For example, in the short story Earth...more
During the time I read Assholes Finish First, I was constantly laughing. When I read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, I knew I had to read this book. Tucker Max thought he should share his adventures with the world and he did a very good job doing it. Parts of this book captivated me very much, keeping me laughing at every insane situation Tucker would get himself in to. What also made me laugh was Tucker’s very sarcastic sense of humor. For example, in the short story Earth...more
Diary of a bully kid. School bullies quite often grow up to get their JD’s from sports-crazed frat schools like Duke University in North Carolina. Less often do such law school graduates forgo the fat paychecks from corporate law for the publish-or-more-likely-perish world of professional writing. This differentiation separates Tucker Max from the herd of the perhaps millions of men who pursue the hedonistic pleasures without personal responsibility that Max so enthusiastically relishes in. One...more
Tucker Max’s Assholes Finish First definitely lives up to the stigma of sequels; he tried too hard to top his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, that the entire book sounds overdone to the point of being run-down. Although the point of his writing is to be brutally honest about his exploits he evidently lives on a daily basis, he lacked the element of storytelling that kept the content in his last book afloat. As I discussed the differences between Max’s books with peers, I decided that...more
Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max (pp. 404)
Tucker Max is man-child, frat boy who has lived an interesting, no apologies take on life. He’s the guy at the bar who is never short on a hilarious story and can’t be believed. But they’re true and there’s closets full of material. This book is a series of his drink-fueled hijinks and rampant stupidity that is well-written and hilarious. Every so often there are some pretty deep insight into human interaction and lack of self-esteem of women.
While s...more
Tucker Max is man-child, frat boy who has lived an interesting, no apologies take on life. He’s the guy at the bar who is never short on a hilarious story and can’t be believed. But they’re true and there’s closets full of material. This book is a series of his drink-fueled hijinks and rampant stupidity that is well-written and hilarious. Every so often there are some pretty deep insight into human interaction and lack of self-esteem of women.
While s...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
I liked it.
Having read the updated edition of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell which included about 30-40 pages of boring book tour stories I didn't have high hopes for this one. I thought for sure ol' Tucker would be spent and this book would be nothing more than a plea to make another quick buck. It's possible my extremely low expectations lead to my enjoyment of this. Kind of like when I saw The Island for the first time.
The book is broken into two halves. The beginning of Assholes Finish First...more
Having read the updated edition of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell which included about 30-40 pages of boring book tour stories I didn't have high hopes for this one. I thought for sure ol' Tucker would be spent and this book would be nothing more than a plea to make another quick buck. It's possible my extremely low expectations lead to my enjoyment of this. Kind of like when I saw The Island for the first time.
The book is broken into two halves. The beginning of Assholes Finish First...more
While not quite as epic as his first novel, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, AFF is still a fun read. When I first saw the film IHTSBIH, and later picked up the novel it was based on, I was much more proud of my own asshole nature. I guess the years have tamed both Tucker Max and myself, because, while many of his stories were hilarious (and well-written), I definitely didn't admire the man as much during this read (beyond his writing style).
A very quick read with stories about debauchery and dou...more
A very quick read with stories about debauchery and dou...more
Shame on this publisher for capitalizing on the bigoted, misogynistic, exaggerated rants of this psuedo story-teller MAN-CHILD.
I really wanted to laugh along with his antics, but by 50 pages in, I was too disgusted with his lack of humanity and immaturity to continue. If his aim was to offend, he succeeded. As I flipped through the rest of the book, I realized that it was just a few hundred more pages of the same without any redeeming chapters that might prove he has a thoughtful reflection in...more
I really wanted to laugh along with his antics, but by 50 pages in, I was too disgusted with his lack of humanity and immaturity to continue. If his aim was to offend, he succeeded. As I flipped through the rest of the book, I realized that it was just a few hundred more pages of the same without any redeeming chapters that might prove he has a thoughtful reflection in...more
Just like his first book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, once again Tucker Max has managed to actually make me laugh aloud while reading his stories. Although I thoroughly enjoyed this book, clearly he's matured and grown up a bit since the last one. Don't worry - he's still an asshole and a jerk but that's part of what make his stories hilarious. There are very few books that are so funny I have to stop and read certain passages aloud to my husband, and this is one of them.
I guess I should say...more
I guess I should say...more
This book was like cherries dipped in dark chocolate. Sinfully good.
Not for the easily offended. You can be mad at Tucker Max all you like for his numerous drunken sexcapades, and acting like he is the greatest human being to walk the earth since Jesus Christ, but really, he doesn't care.
The thing I like most about Tucker Max is that he is completely honest. Half of the men in the world are exactly like him. The only difference is he is brutally honest about it. It's almost like Tucker has per...more
Not for the easily offended. You can be mad at Tucker Max all you like for his numerous drunken sexcapades, and acting like he is the greatest human being to walk the earth since Jesus Christ, but really, he doesn't care.
The thing I like most about Tucker Max is that he is completely honest. Half of the men in the world are exactly like him. The only difference is he is brutally honest about it. It's almost like Tucker has per...more
Wow, this book was hard for me to rate. If I rated it on how much I like Tucker Max as a person, he would get a big fat ZERO stars. However, if I'm honest, the book is hilarious, albeit disgusting, chauvinistic, and many more negative adjectives. Tucker obviously thinks much higher than he ever should, and gets big laughs out of making others feel like crap. On another note, who am I too look down on him too much when I am laughing out loud while reading some of his exploits?
To be honest, I thin...more
To be honest, I thin...more
Tucker Max is not for everyone. That much is easy to figure out and if you've ever read Tucker Max's literature, either online or in print, that statement shouldn't come as a surprise to you.
He's made his mark by relating his stories to his devoted fans. They're crude, they're sexual, they're filled with drunken binges, they're immature, but above all they're funny. Very funny.
There are going to be moments where you're going to question the authenticity of the stories he tells (I frankly don't c...more
He's made his mark by relating his stories to his devoted fans. They're crude, they're sexual, they're filled with drunken binges, they're immature, but above all they're funny. Very funny.
There are going to be moments where you're going to question the authenticity of the stories he tells (I frankly don't c...more
Sadly, where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell was a funny compliation of truly hysterical, and well told stories of the drunken misadventures of Tucker & Co, with humorous interludes detailing Tucker's "unique style of transient romance", Assholes Finish First is a disappointing follow up. Far less a compilation of sponteaneous antics and drunken shennanigans, AFF comes across as much more Tucker's narcisstic homage to the self, wrapped in tales of disposable conquests, which, from anyone else...more
This is most defintely one of the most interesting books I have ever read. I really liked it because it was stories told from the person that lived through them. It was so interesting because there were many situations that actually happened to people in college and just getting out of college. He defintely used a lot of detail in the book and sometimes he could have used less. The book was mainly about Tucker Max drinking a lot and doing stupid things, alone and with his friends. I can’t really...more
As a Tucker Max virgin, I had heard a lot about him, but never read any of his stories. A friend introduced me to this book because of my love for the Chelsea Handler books.
Tucker Max does not fail to please. My rating is solely based on the genre, and if possible I would give it perhaps a 4.5/5 rating, but, oh well.
A lot of his stories are so unbelievable that even he editorializes saying that he doesn't believe they happened to himself, but there are others that can confirm they did in fact h...more
Tucker Max does not fail to please. My rating is solely based on the genre, and if possible I would give it perhaps a 4.5/5 rating, but, oh well.
A lot of his stories are so unbelievable that even he editorializes saying that he doesn't believe they happened to himself, but there are others that can confirm they did in fact h...more
Now, I may be judged for giving this book a high rating, but hear me out. I liked the writing, I liked the topic (although at some point, it is wrong/sick/demented/illogical even for me) but it was funny. And that's what the premise is all about; it is a book of funny stories about a self-professed asshole. While, yes, it seems to show morality going down the drain, its still entertaining. Plus somewhere along the way, it sounds like that the author is maturing (WHOA). But seriously, if you like...more
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Tucker Tibor Max is an American humorist, Internet personality, and entrepreneur. He has achieved widespread fame on the Internet for his website, TuckerMax.com, where he chronicles his drunken, sexual adventures in the form of short stories.
His book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell made the New York Times Best Seller List in 2006, 2007, and 2008. He is also the founder of Rudius Media, an Internet-...more
More about Tucker Max...
His book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell made the New York Times Best Seller List in 2006, 2007, and 2008. He is also the founder of Rudius Media, an Internet-...more
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“No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.”
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22 people liked it
“You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.”
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22 people liked it
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