Wait for Me!

Jan 12, 2012 Mariel rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Lauren

Recommended to Mariel by: Lauren

I bought Deborah Mitford's (I refuse to call her Debo. Just try and make me!) memoir Wait for me! for my twin sister as a Christmas present. I tried not to get her something that I wanted to read and she had little interest in. Because I would never do something like that. If my twin was Deborah Mitford (I refuse to call her Laur for this review) she could write a memoir that goes like this: "Mariel was always kind to use her interesting taste to push me into reading books that I would otherwise...more I bought Deborah Mitford's (I refuse to call her Debo. Just try and make me!) memoir Wait for me! for my twin sister as a Christmas present. I tried not to get her something that I wanted to read and she had little interest in. Because I would never do something like that. If my twin was Deborah Mitford (I refuse to call her Laur for this review) she could write a memoir that goes like this: "Mariel was always kind to use her interesting taste to push me into reading books that I would otherwise not give a chance." In other words that I was a total bitch who bought her Henry Miller for Christmas (I did).

I haven't read any of the other Mitford books yet (I plan to in the near future). Deborah is the one who married well (well, if you look at things that way) and became the Duchess of Devonshire. Or the Martha Stewart of big houses of England (these are not my words) in later life. She was the youngest after a string of many girls to parents who wished for a boy instead. She's very much the well brought up (if you look at it that way) lady who doesn't say what she might be like if no one else was looking. I say why write a memoir? My guess is because her sisters wrote those famous books. Maybe it was because she was an old woman (ninety at the writing of 'Wait for Me!').

It feels like there are many parts of this picture that I'm not getting from this book. Mitford is too nice (however, maybe not TOO nice. I couldn't help but notice that she refers to sister Pams husband's infidelity but not those of her own husband). There is constant name dropping.

Like this: I went across the street to visit my buddy Elizabeth Bowen who knew Virginia Woolfe well. I was on the arm of Patrick Leigh Fermor who was dressed to the nines in (insert a shit load of fashion designers). Blah blah blah The Kennedys blah blah blah famous people I knew that guy blah blah blah. (She even has tea with Hitler! Be fair, Mariel. That really did happen.) I'm sure she really knew those people but it is like every other word is some famous person's name. It gets out of hand. Mitford even thanks the secretary who typed up her papers. It all read a little too, I don't know, acceptance speech?

I'm being mean. I don't know this for absolute certain (I'm reserving my long distance judgement for when I've read the other books), but it seems like Deborah didn't like her eldest sister Nancy. Sure, she SAYS she was her second best favorite. But then it's all Nancy was so jealous of how beautiful Diana was (and boy does she drag on about that). Nancy was never married, Nancy pined after a gay man, Nancy pined after a man who married someone else when he said he couldn't. In light of that the I'm too nice to say anything is a little annoying. However, it may be because Nancy was publicly screechy about locking away Diana forever for the public safety good for all. Yeaaaah, did she throw a fit about locking away their racist! cousin by marriage, Churchill? Eh?. Diana is the one who left her husband but didn't have sex (alledgedly. But she totally did) with Hitler. That was Unity. My theory is that Nancy didn't want to look bad herself and made all of this effort to let the world know she was the non-Nazi sister. (Just my theory! I might turn Team Nancy.) One of the times it didn't feel like memoir rationalizing was when Deborah writes about Unity. Unity. She blew her brains out when England declared war on Germany. She lived. When the Harry Potter books came out and we first meet Bellatrix Lestrange my twin and I would call her "The Manson Chick". That was before we knew that Rowling had based her on Unity (Narcissa is Diana. Jessica is Rowling's heroine, by the way). Now it seems kind of fitting. Unity might have fallen in with any kind of cult, at least as Deborah sees it. I found it refreshing that she didn't try to scapegoat her sisters. It wasn't their own unique evil to fall for Hitler. It wasn't like they alone in England believed that shit, at the time. Geez, Nancy.

Remember my Fitzosbournes in Exile review? It was Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz over Kick Kennedy the socialite. Kick wasn't hot and still everyone liked her 'cause she had confidence! This is me over Kick Kennedy in Wait for Me! ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Michelle Cooper had to have read this book for research for her book. It was like rereading it all over again. Or she read the same books that Mitford read to "jog her memory". Mitford relied on published accounts from her sisters, husband and self (house books from the '80s and '90s). If you're going to write about Kick why can't it be that none of her family went to her funeral because they disowned her because she was sleeping around with a married man? It seems like she didn't have the whole society game pinned down after all. You can't pick your family, but still. It's not so easy to be liked by everyone.

I'm glad that I brought up that Montmaray series by Michelle Cooper. Her books are evocative of the glamorous world of high born poverty of a sorts. Think I Capture the Castle. It's what someone who thought being poor could be fun would think it was. They can still afford to have coming out balls. Mitford herself admits that their allowance was larger than the housekeeping staff salary for a year. They didn't have as much as they thought they should have. I have no doubt that it must have been like that with the strain on the parents who big time thought they should have had more. Their father comes off as a cruel man in this book. I know that Nancy and Jessica saw their mom and dad differently. Maybe Deborah isn't wrong that their mother at least did her a service. Everything she knew about managing a house and chickens came from her mother. She wasn't the useless socialite at all, thanks to her. That's probably more than most of their peers could say. I also don't know if I would have seen it that way if I was one of the sisters that the parents didn't favor (poor Unity).

My favorite parts were about raising the hens. Who knew? Maybe it was because there was no role to play there other than one of own's own choosing. Memoirs are hard for me to like. It's so hard to tell if the writer is being honest or just masturbating on print for the sake of book sales or something else. It wasn't about correcting something that Jessica wrote, you know?

(And stop asking me to call Jessica Decca! What is it with this family and nicknames? I had to keep flipping to the front to remember who was who.)

This review is boring. Personally, I blame Kick Kennedy. (Did the publishers make her throw in all of these chapters about them?) Since I'm reserving judgement for what I suspect are the more interesting Mitfords why did I have to bore everyone with Kick Kennedy?

P.s. I don't like the title. My twin thinks it is fitting because she chases after her sisters. I also prefer the UK cover of the old Mitford with her hens instead of the socialite in the gown like on the usa cover. Maybe it doesn't have as much of the Kennedys in it either. No WAY did some chick predict Robert was going to be president when he was a lad attending a party in England.

P.s.s. This is why I suck. I forgot to mention Communist!Jessica versus peerage Deborah. And I didn't forget to mention that I knew all of those society places from reading romance novels. I just didn't want to admit it!(less)

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Sep 11, 2012 Ceilidh rated it 2 of 5 stars

Deborah Cavendish, better known as the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire and the last remaining Mitford sister, has lived a life so eventful that it almost seems mythical. From her oft-discussed childhood with her five sisters to tea with Hitler and helping to revive the ailing fortunes of the famed Cavendish estate, there is much in Debo’s life that has yet to be covered by the numerous biographies, memoirs of her sisters and collections of letters that have packed the shelves. Unfortunately, “Wait...more

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May 12, 2013 Drayton Bird rated it 5 of 5 stars

I thought this book - written at the age of 90 - very good indeed, and a fine corrective to those who think Downton Abbey accurately reflects the lives of the English Aristocracy.

I was reminded of the phrase often used that someone "knew anybody who was anybody", because the author met an astonishing number of the people who shaped the 20th century and describes what they were like very well.

The index gives you a pretty good idea. She had tea with Hitler,was related to Churchill, verhy friendly...more

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Nov 15, 2012 CB rated it 4 of 5 stars

Ah, the Mitford sisters.

No matter if you are Team Nancy or Team Decca (the two sisters that seem to enjoy the most support, probably because both were prolific writers during their lives - and also because no one really wants to claim Team Unity or Team Diana thanks to their avid support of Fascism), there is something for everyone in Debo's memoir. The last surviving Mitford, Debo tells her side of the family lore already made familiar thanks to Nancy's fiction and Decca's autobiography.

One ha...more Ah, the Mitford sisters.

No matter if you are Team Nancy or Team Decca (the two sisters that seem to enjoy the most support, probably because both were prolific writers during their lives - and also because no one really wants to claim Team Unity or Team Diana thanks to their avid support of Fascism), there is something for everyone in Debo's memoir. The last surviving Mitford, Debo tells her side of the family lore already made familiar thanks to Nancy's fiction and Decca's autobiography.

One has the feeling that the best Mitford stories will be taken to the grave; Debo is the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, after all. And while her voice is self-deprecating and charming, she is still very much a proper English aristocrat with quite a stiff upper lip. So familiar Mitford ground is trod, without much new in the way of shocking or insightful revelations. But it's a good tale all the same, and the first 1/3 of the book, devoted to Debo's childhood and young adult years, is quite fun.

The book slows down once Debo marries Andrew Cavendish, second in line to the dukedom. His older brother Billy married Kick Kennedy, JFK's sister. Billy's death in World War II meant Andrew and Debo would inherit (and remain friends with the Kennedys, even though Kick also died very young.) And inherit they did - a pile of death duty debt. The remaining pages are split between Debo reminiscing (less charitable people might call it namedropping, but then she IS a duchess) about famous people she knew and the rescue of the Devonshire estate from the crippling tax burden. The latter, of course, is the triumphant tale of how Chatsworth came to be one of the most admired "stately homes" in the UK, thanks to several successful programs that draw visitors. I'm kicking myself for not visiting Chatsworth when I lived in the UK.

Debo is very forthcoming when talking about her chickens and her improvements to Chatsworth. She is much more reticent when it comes to her marriage. The deaths of three of her children soon after birth are simply told, the pain still very much evident. But the inevitable pain of being married to a philandering alcoholic has the curtain drawn discretely over it. She does devote a few pages to the Duke's attempts to quit drinking and his eventual sobriety, but only because Andrew wrote about it in his own memoir. She doesn't mention his court testimony that made his habit of paying mistresses publicly known, nor that he used to wear a pullover with "Don't Marry a Mitford" emblazoned across it. Andrew admitted to feeling like a jealous adjunct to the Mitford myth, and one can only imagined it caused their relationship strain. But as Debo makes abundantly clear, she did not write this memoir to muck around in other people's lives.

If you are interested in the Mitford sisters, then WAIT FOR ME! is worth a read. In her sisters' books, Debo is a bit written off - she was the baby, after all, born when Nancy was 16. Nancy called her "Nine," Debo's supposed mental age, and Decca sniffed that Debo had no other ambition than to marry very well. And Debo admits she is not an intellectual, and far more interested in country pursuits than academic ones. But, no matter how sanitized, it's good to get Debo's side of the story.

However, if you are looking for an introduction to the Mitfords and want to read them in their own voices, this is not the book with which to start. Try Nancy's Love in a Cold Climate; Jessica's Hons and Rebels, or The Mitfords Letters Between Six Sisters. (less)

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Jul 27, 2012 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, memoir

I have been fascinated by the Mitfords for years so when I knew I was coming to the UK I decided that one of the books I would pack was Deborah Devonshire's memoir Wait for Me! Every member of the Mitford family has their own amazing points of interest whether it's Diana's marriage to fascist leader Oswald Moseley, Nancy's wit and literary career, or Unity's devotion to Hitler. They had their own languages and nicknames growing up that they continued to use their whole lives - the clan feels lik...more I have been fascinated by the Mitfords for years so when I knew I was coming to the UK I decided that one of the books I would pack was Deborah Devonshire's memoir Wait for Me! Every member of the Mitford family has their own amazing points of interest whether it's Diana's marriage to fascist leader Oswald Moseley, Nancy's wit and literary career, or Unity's devotion to Hitler. They had their own languages and nicknames growing up that they continued to use their whole lives - the clan feels like a secret club that I desperately want to join. The youngest of the Mitfords, Deborah (Debo, DD) seems like the perfect conduit for the stories of her family as well as her husband's family at Chatsworth. She is unassuming, self-depricating, and completely charming as she talks about her adult life as the Duchess of Devonshire. She met everyone from the Shah to the Prime Minister (Uncle Harold) to JFK. Kennedy's sister was married to Debo's brother in law so she was intimately connected with the Kennedy family attending Jack's inauguration as well as his funeral. Debo and her husband resurrected his family's estate Chatsworth,taking it from deep debt after the death of his father to a flourishing sustainable business. DD takes very little credit but it's obvious that her hand was in much of it and that she is beloved by those who know and work for her.

I definitely enjoyed the early portions of this book more than the later years. It's been a while since I've read Mary Lovell's biography of the Mitfords (which is a must-read for any Mitford fan with much more detail on the family than Deborah gets into here) so it was nice to get a refresher on the family and to hear some new stories from DD's perspective. This memoir doesn't get into a lot of conflicts - Debo talked openly about her sisters' controversial politics but simply states that she loves them regardless and moves on from there. But when she moves away from the Mitford and gets into her life as a Cavendish, the book starts to feel like an expanded version of her social calendar. Each gala event seems to have the same format describing who was there and one little anecdote from the evening. Some work better than others. As an New Englander, I was very interested to read the pieces about the Kennedys but didn't always follow the who's who of British society. Her writing is pleasant and I did close the book feeling like I just read about an old friend. Chatsworth is absolutely on my agenda while I'm here.(less)

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Jul 13, 2011 Ali rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have, over the last few years become something of a Mitford addict. Having read several biographies, a couple of collections of letters and many of Nancy's novels I am seriously hooked. Some of the tales recounted in the beginning of this book, I have encountered before - but I love them, it's like meeting up with old friends. Of course Debo (as any Mitford fan will know her) was born 16 years after the eldest Nancy, and so her childhood expirences and relationships with her siblings differ fr...more

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Jun 13, 2011 Lois rated it 3 of 5 stars

Wait for Me, a Memoir by Deborah Mitford, Duchess of Devonshire.

Having just read Mary Lovell's "The Sisters", I found the first part of this repetitive with many of the same photos and stories. Lovell, however, is a much better writer. A good deal of this book is apparently based on her appointment books and diaries and seems like a recital of where she went, who she met, what she did, giving a detailed account of what it is like to be a duchess. She was a staunch Conservative and even demonstra...more

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Apr 10, 2011 Nick rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'll read anything related to the Mitfords but there's no getting around it: Deborah doesn't write as well as Nancy or Jessica. She is best when she’s describing her upbringing, but even then she relies on the published words of her sisters from time to time. By the final third of the book, it’s become a long list of events and celebrated people whom she’s entertained and it gets both a little confusing and a little boring. As Janet Maslin noted in her review in the Sunday Times in December, whe...more

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Apr 08, 2011 Mary Ronan Drew rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: library-book

What an advantage for an author of autobiographer to outlive most of the other people in one’s life so that one may be perfectly honest about one’s opinions of them. This is the case with Deborah Mitford (actually Deborah Cavendish) in this slightly unfocused memoir. No feelings are hurt when she points out that Evelyn Waugh was very witty when sober – but he was sober for such a short time and the rest of the evening he was miserably insulting. And she can be honest about her father’s having le...more What an advantage for an author of autobiographer to outlive most of the other people in one’s life so that one may be perfectly honest about one’s opinions of them. This is the case with Deborah Mitford (actually Deborah Cavendish) in this slightly unfocused memoir. No feelings are hurt when she points out that Evelyn Waugh was very witty when sober – but he was sober for such a short time and the rest of the evening he was miserably insulting. And she can be honest about her father’s having left her mother and taken up with a boringly unsuitable housekeeper. Fortunately he spent his days on an isolated Scottish island and nobody had to deal with the pair.

Time also gives some perspective on her family’s bizarre and occasionally tragic political activities. When she expresses a political opinion, it is very conservative, and yet when she was a girl she accompanied her mother to visit her sister Unity, who was a friend of Hitler, apparently a fairly close one, and makes little comment on his politics. Her description of the misery of living with Unity when she had tried to kill herself and was mentally unstable is honest and sad. She makes no attempt to explain her sister Nancy’s testimony to the government that their sister Diana was a danger to the state, which contributed to the decision to put her in jail during part of the war.

But you read the book not for the history and the sadness but for the charm and wit of the world in which the young Deborah Mitford lived before the war – the parties and nightclubbing, the word games with her sisters, her eccentric and financially unstable father and her patient and sweet-natured mother, the enormously wide acquaintance of the family, the joy she has always taken in dogs and horses (and sheep and hens and every other manner of farm animal.)

The war was in some ways particularly hard on people like Deborah Mitford. In 1939 theirs was a life of large houses (more than one in the case of the Devonshires, of course), warmth and luxury, staffs of servants, sumptuous dinners, stables full of horses, lovely new motor cars and chauffeurs to drive them, and a life of ease and entertainment. When the war came they were reduced to bicycles and walking, poor food and little of it, shortages and rationing like everybody else. Most of the upper middle class and the aristocracy like Deborah Mitford’s family and friends adjusted, learned to cook, chopped their own wood, and went cold like everybody else, but for them it was a much longer way down and the end of a way of life. Things were never remotely the same.

The duchess mentions a recent interview in which the journalist asks her if the war affected her in any way. She was taken aback. Her only brother was killed in the war. So were her four best friends. Her husband’s brother died, which is how Andrew, the second son, became the duke, and like George VI, he was unprepared for the position and had to learn fast. The author doesn’t say it but I have the impression that, like Virginia Woolf, she thought somehow that they were only dead for duration and after the war the realization that life went on without them was just as difficult for her family as for everyone else in England.

Then came the socialist government and the 85% death tax on the Devonshire estate. Her husband, the new duke, spent his life, full-time, for 20 years, clearing the debt in order to hold on to a part of the family’s inheritance. Whatever the unfairness of one family holding such riches when people in the East End were near starvation, it was extremely difficult for people with any property at all to hold on to even a fraction of it. This was the time when thousands of houses in England were torn down or abandoned because of confiscatory taxes. Hundreds of significant houses were lost because of the punitive government policies. It’s sad to see a nation destroying its own history.

The Devonshires managed after 30 years to pay off the taxes by selling land and houses and giving a good many treasures to the state, including Hardwick Hall. The duchess opened Chatsworth to the public and made it available for rental, she wrote books about the estate, she organized the farm as a paying endeavor, and brought in enough money to pay for repairs and maintenance of the house, a remarkable thing for such an uneducated and inexperienced woman to do so well. She is now the dowager duchess and lives in the dower house on the Chatsworth estate.

2011 No 60
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Feb 21, 2011 kenpen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, audio, history, memoir, england, couldntfinish

I think the Mitford family is fascinating. They were such a part of history.

I really enjoyed the first part of this book. It is Debo's childhood and teen years and has lots of great stories about her family members.

However, when it got to the point where her father-in-law, the Duke of Devonshire died and the family had to pay death taxes it went down hill quickly for me. They had to pay 80% taxes, which yes, is a huge portion of their wealth. But when she's saying how they had to sell off 42,0...more

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Dec 09, 2010 Jaylia3 rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is a wonderful new addition to the Mitford canon by Deborah, The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, known as "Debo". Her sisters Nancy, Diana and Jessica (Decca) long ago wrote their own books, but being the youngest and only living sibling Debo brings a different perspective to WAIT FOR ME!. Nancy and the other older children hated having to move from Asthall Manor, where they had freedom and privacy because their rooms were in a converted barn, but Debo, then six, loved their new home at Swin...more This is a wonderful new addition to the Mitford canon by Deborah, The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, known as "Debo". Her sisters Nancy, Diana and Jessica (Decca) long ago wrote their own books, but being the youngest and only living sibling Debo brings a different perspective to WAIT FOR ME!. Nancy and the other older children hated having to move from Asthall Manor, where they had freedom and privacy because their rooms were in a converted barn, but Debo, then six, loved their new home at Swinbrook. She and Decca spent hours there formulating a secret language in the Hons Cupboard, a linen closet that served as their private meeting place, and Debo began her lifelong love of hens, which she raised so she could sell eggs to Muv, her mother.

In other books Muv has been portrayed as vague and cold, but in Debo's depiction she is hardworking, full of understanding and always fair. Two days before Debo's wedding one of London's heaviest air raids blew out the windows of the ballroom where her reception was to be held. Shards of shattered glass covered everything and the curtains were ruined, shredded to bits. Muv shaped gold and grey wallpaper into pretend draperies to cover the glassless windows and convinced a wine merchant to part with some of his precious but diminishing supply of champagne from occupied, or soon to be occupied, France. Thanks to Muv, and the requisite but frosting-less cake (war sugar rationing), the party was able to proceed.

Debo's writes candidly and entertainingly about her courtship and marriage to Andrew Devonshire, who became a duke because his older brother was killed in WWII. The war exacted a heavy toll on the Mitfords who lost many friends and family, including Tom, their beloved and only brother, and though Debo doesn't dwell on tragedy those sections of the book are eye-opening and deeply moving. She writes in the same open and level headed way about her miscarriages, Andrew's alcoholism and Nancy's recently revealed denunciation of Diana while she was imprisoned for her connections to Hitler.

When Andrew's father died Debo and Andrew inherited Chatsworth, a huge 126-room mansion which has since been the setting for two Keira Knightly movies, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and THE DUCHESS. Chatsworth is beautiful now but was in terrible shape when they were suddenly put in charge. The miracle renovation Debo, and her husband oversaw is even more remarkable because Andrew's father died a few weeks too early to exempt them from an 80% death duty tax that in 1950 amounted to £7 million.

Debo admired Muv's ability to select diverse styles of furnishing that worked beautifully together, and she used that eclecticism as a model while decorating Chatsworth. Eclecticism also seems to be Debo's guide when choosing friends, a group that has included local farmers, Evelyn Waugh and Prince Charles, and Debo has funny or interesting stories about all of them.

Though Debo has never been as political as her one-time communist sister Decca or her fascist leaning sisters Diana and Unity she has had close connections to some of the world's most politically powerful people. Debo's brother-in-law married Kathleen (Kick) Kennedy so she attended both John F. Kennedy's inauguration and funeral as a family member. Former Prime Minister Harold Macmillan is Uncle Harold to Debo and she is also related to Winston Churchill. In 1960 her husband Andrew was made Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Commonwealth Relations and she traveled to Africa, Asia and the Caribbean as he represented Britain during a time that coincided with the independence of eleven British colonies.

Books by and about the Mitfords are full of the demand "Do admit" and WAIT FOR ME! finally reveals its source. The cover of HORSE AND HOUND carried the endorsement, "I freely admit the best of my fun I owe it to Horse & Hound" which, when shortened to "Do admit", was used by the five younger sisters, Debo says, to get the attention of witty and sophisticated Nancy. (less)

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Jun 07, 2011 ^ rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Brides

Recommended to ^ by: my mother

Shelves: good-to-read-aloud, non-fiction, autobiography, outsourced, books-with-101-to-1000-ratings

Deborah Devonshire (DD) writes superbly. She knows how to tell a story because she looks at the world not only from her own direct experience, but also from her ever-present keen consideration of those around her. To find such selflessness is a truly humbling experience in itself. There is a very British saying, 'By your friends ye are known'. Selflessness engenders deep and loyal friendships, and many, many of them. At this point I have to also compliment her editor, Charlotte Moseley, and her...more Deborah Devonshire (DD) writes superbly. She knows how to tell a story because she looks at the world not only from her own direct experience, but also from her ever-present keen consideration of those around her. To find such selflessness is a truly humbling experience in itself. There is a very British saying, 'By your friends ye are known'. Selflessness engenders deep and loyal friendships, and many, many of them. At this point I have to also compliment her editor, Charlotte Moseley, and her secretary, Helen Marchant; one can barely begin to imagine the invaluable assistance they have given in recording, ordering, consistency-checking, completing, and presenting this account of a remarkably chock-full life led to the full.

Yes, there must always be a degree of ‘luck’ associated with what family one is born into, with what relatives; as well as into what year. Hindsight is a blessed gift. DD was born into a remarkable family (and extended families), and has lived, and continues to live, through a succession of extraordinary times. She has clearly suffered much tragedy and sadness. What this book humbly, but clearly, depicts is how she somehow always (or almost always) manages to find good in bad, consolation through grief, new growth from dead ends.

What is truly remarkable is how understatedly and successfully DD communicates that very British, desirable, innate (unconsciously so) character which is the antithesis of the modern, present-day celebrity. I speak of the difference between one who thinks of and serves others before herself, and one who is wholly selfish and self-absorbed.

At first, I thought, "why does this book contain photographs of her bedroom and sitting-room?" I concluded, "Because they are beautiful, elegant, and comfortable." Whether or not we possess ancestral antiques, we can all aspire to furnish our rooms with that thought in mind. Secondly, I thought how depressing it would be if even a duchess couldn’t have beautiful rooms!

I'm always pleased to find a book which I have very, very, much enjoyed has been published by John Murray. I often buy older, second-hand, books based on that recommendation, and have never been let down.
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Mar 13, 2012 Ellyn Oaksmith rated it 4 of 5 stars

Occasionally I read a book whose main enjoyment is the world in which it inhabits. The Duchess of Devonshire lives a world glimpsed by only a select few, rubbing shoulders with royalty, inhabiting castles and national landmarks and supervising a staff of hundreds. It is, for me, a fascinating place. At first the book bored me slightly, reading like a diary of a country gentlewoman but as Debo confronts war, marries into money and unexpectedly becomes the Duchess of Devonshire, her personality de...more

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Jan 16, 2012 Indiana rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, autobiography, history, cavendish, duke, house-envy

Really enjoyed! A look back over her life by the current Dowanger Duchess of Devonshire. And what an unbelievable life she has led! She has been all over the world and met some of the most notable people of the 20th century and lived through vast changes in history. Its hard to believe that one person could experience so much.

The beginning part of the book when she recollects her childhood and the days before World War II in England are the strongest. Maybe its because most of the people she is...more Really enjoyed! A look back over her life by the current Dowanger Duchess of Devonshire. And what an unbelievable life she has led! She has been all over the world and met some of the most notable people of the 20th century and lived through vast changes in history. Its hard to believe that one person could experience so much.

The beginning part of the book when she recollects her childhood and the days before World War II in England are the strongest. Maybe its because most of the people she is writing about are dead and she feels more able to discuss things but its in this part of the book that she is her most detailed and perhaps honest. I enjoyed reading about her family and her upbringing. Now we know these were the last days of the great country house families and a certain way of life and its fascinating and a bit sad to see it play out in their family as the great estate is sold and they move progessively to smaller and smaller houses as the money dwindles.

Once she gets married and has children and the people who are still alive the book loses some of its charm as the narrative becomes a bit more detached and more a systematic recounting. We hardly learn anything about her marriage or her children. She does go into some detail about her husband's battle with alcohol but she admits she only feels free to write about this because her husband addressed it in his autobiography. But even when the overall feel of a chapter is less than personal, there are antidotes that make this book worth reading. I think recounting individual moments is her strength a writer. Its the little scenes that stand out in my mind - such as when she finds a bolt of fabric in Ireland that is available for purchase when back at home in England there is still rationing and how she buys the whole bolt so everyone at home can get a new dress. Or how she discovered Elvis, visits Graceland, and became a huge fan of his and to this day has a gyrating Elvis phone in her home. And then there is a heart breaking chapter about her pregnancies and miscarriges and how she only now at 90 has found out that the babies who died were baptized before they were buried. These personal recollections stand out more than the famous events in her life that she recounts such as having tea with Hitler or being friends with the Kennedy's or various interactions with the Royal Family.

Because of my own personal interest in English stately homes and the preservation of their structures I was most interested in the parts about Chatsworth and the effort to open it to the public and make it a viable business. To the extent Chatsworth predominated their lives, it can't help but be included in this book. However, I feel she has covered it in more detail in her other books and so its not as predominant as I would have expected it to be. I seem to run into the Devonshires (from all centuries) and their properties a lot in my reading and travels. They have a rich and fascinating heritage and Deborah Mitford is a worthy contributor to their continued history.(less)

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Mar 12, 2011 Hot Cup O'Monkey rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was fantastic in the beginning; full of quirky and hilarious British men and women, plus intriguingly weird family, to say the least! Then comes WWII, and that was pretty devastating. I mean, two sisters adore Hitler and are in his inner circle; another runs off with her communist cousin, never to see her father again; the author becomes the sister-in-law of Kathleen Kennedy; etc.

However, when the focus of the book leaves the family and shifts to the author's duties as Duchess of Devon...more

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Jun 04, 2012 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I did not know that the Duchess of Devonshire was the youngest of the Mitford sisters, this book was a mixture of her unconventional chilhood, memories of her sisters who have all now passed away and the story of how her husband had to fight to make Chatsworth the house it is today.After the war many big houses were left to rack and ruin the death duties on these places were horrendous, it took them about 17 years to pay off the debts and involved selling much land and having to open the house t...more

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May 09, 2011 Maureen Crombie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I loved this book and found it breathtaking: more about Mitford sisters; elements of the Kennedy's; life of the bright-young people in the 20s and 40s; lots of s great discussion of architecture, gardening and a wide smattering of various historical personages of the last century; even when it becomes rather domestically boring it is blissful to me!

The Duchess is a charming, funny and gracious narrator of her life, particulary for a British aristocrat. She has borne an amazing array of triumphs...more

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Aug 01, 2011 Elisabeth added it

I don't usually enjoy memoirs or autobigraphies, but this was an exception. Deborah, dowager duchess of Devonshire has had an amazing 90 years. She has met many amazing historical figures, well, not just met as in Hitler, but was extremely good friends with JFK. I was amazed to read he came to Chatsworth to visit his sister's grave, and went round Chatsworth House with a gobsmacked public, much to the annoyance of the secret service.

She had been instrumental in the success of Chatsworth House an...more

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Oct 18, 2012 Karen rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a detailed account by an elderly woman of her and her siblings lives in England before and after WWII. It covers a lot of ground and is a bit long, but is an interesting read nonetheless. She was the Duchess of Devonshire and had been to the Royal Court, but she was also a woman who knew what it was to pinch pennies. She lived through war-rationing on everything including sugar which allowed her to have a wedding cake, but no frosting on it. Her husband inherited a huge estate called Cha...more

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Mar 09, 2011 Carolyn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Well, I loved this book, but then I'm a bit of an anglophile and I did visit Chatsworth 14 years ago (and stayed at the wonderful Devonshire Arms)and found it breathtaking. I'm also fascinated by the Mitford sisters and have read a number of works about them. This autobiography combines all those interests in a sort of perfect storm. Add into that elements of the Kennedy's, the Bright Young People of the 20's/30's, a ton of great discussion of architecture, gardening and a wide smattering of var...more

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Dec 13, 2010 Leslie Street rated it 3 of 5 stars

In DDD's 90 years of life, she has had occasion to rub shoulders with some of the most fascinating people of the 20th century. Kings, Queens, fascist dictators, and the Kennedys, DDD has met them all and maintained close friendships with many. However, don't expect the sordid details of the scandalous lives of such people. Although she may be personally familiar with these stores, DDD comes from an era when good manners and a sense of propriety forbids her from revealing intimate details of her...more

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Apr 24, 2012 Liesl rated it 5 of 5 stars

"Debo" is the last of England's storied Mitford sisters to survive, and the least scandalous of them. This comprehensive memoir of hers, which is well written, often touching, and of unfailing historical interest, may be the best way for the uninitiated to absorb the fascinating and complicated contradictions of the Mitford family. It's also a very easy way for rootless modern young cosmopolites to gain a sense of how thoroughly day-to-day life changed from the beginning to the end of the 20th c...more

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Dec 28, 2010 Nette rated it 3 of 5 stars

Mixed feelings. The first half, which describes her childhood, was charming and funny, although I've already read most of the same stories in her sisters' books. The second half, which focuses on her stately home(s) and her horses and her la-de-da guests, didn't interest me at all. She comes off as shallow and and clueless. I was put off by the running commentary about the the glorious past vs the annoying present. She pines for the days when people were SO much more glamorous, and it was easier...more

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Apr 28, 2011 Caro rated it 4 of 5 stars

Any book by a Mitford is sure to be fun. The best bits here are about her childhood, even though we've read it all before from Decca, Nancy and Diana. Her account of her adult years is grouped by topic - the Kennedys, for example - and feels a bit perfunctory despite some wonderful stories. Old age is catching up with her and her friends (a hilarious story about Patrick Leigh Fermor in the bath at age 90 noticing with horror that his feet had turned black, then realizing he had merely forgotten...more

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Aug 15, 2011 Margaret Heller rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

It's no secret that I have long had a slight obsession with the Cavendish family, and in particular the women who have married into this family. I spent one of the most gleeful days of my life wandering around Chatsworth in 2004. I also have long had a slight obsession with the Mitfords: six sisters who exemplified in their own lives nearly every political movement of the twentieth century-- fascism, communism, socialism, conservatism, apathy. And they all were delightful writers, even when thei...more

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Aug 04, 2012 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've been fascinated by the Mitford sisters for ages, so was interested in reading this autobiography by Deborah, the youngest sister.

It was interesting to read about her life from the 1920s through now - especially through WWII and following her husband's ascension to Duke of Devonshire. What I found fascinating was the dichotomy between how she talks about being financial strapped after WWII (which undoubtedly they were - facing estate taxes at 85%) and also talking about the hunting gathering...more

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Jan 02, 2013 Morgan rated it 4 of 5 stars

The youngest of the Mitford sisters, her memoirs follow her life from birth to currently her status as Dowager Duchess of Chatsworth. Really interesting accounts of a way of life that was completely transformed by war and governments. She married the second son but the first son died during the second world war thus making her husband the Duke. Together they struggled and held on to Chatsworth estate through all the post-war changes, making Chatsworth one of the rare English Country House succes...more

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Feb 11, 2011 Danielle Raine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Wait for Me is much more than an account of life within the Mitford family (though that aspect is certainly entertaining). Throughout her life, Debo had a priveledged access to the highter echelons of society, both in her home country and, (as the wife of a government minister and close friend of Presidents), across the world. Although she was not born a Duchess, Debo did come from a very well connected aristocratic family. Despite this, she retained a down-to-earth personality - as happy on a h...more Wait for Me is much more than an account of life within the Mitford family (though that aspect is certainly entertaining). Throughout her life, Debo had a priveledged access to the highter echelons of society, both in her home country and, (as the wife of a government minister and close friend of Presidents), across the world. Although she was not born a Duchess, Debo did come from a very well connected aristocratic family. Despite this, she retained a down-to-earth personality - as happy on a haybale with horses and a sister as when seated next to the reigning monarch for dinner. This comes through quite clearly in her informal and friendly narration.

What I found engaging was how Debo's life , her worries and problems, were so much like the rest of us 'normal' folk. From her portrayal of the social conventions of life in the early twentieth century, (the 'unwritten rules and nuances'), it seems money, class and breeding is no protection from the usual insecutities, shyness, even terrors of certain social events. And the extent to which fortunes fluctuate within a so-called 'wealthy' family was a real eye-opener. For example, being forced to move from a beloved childhood home for economic reasons is still heart-wrenching, even if the homes in question are larger and grander than your average National Trust property. Also, being familiar with the domestic challenge (on a smaller scale), it was interesting to see that owners of large houses still have a great deal of work to do, depsite their many staff.

Aside from the accounts of places and events, I also enjoyed the tales of the characters from Debo's life, whose names would linger long after I stopped reading. (I can just picture the long-suffering Muv tolerating yet another Debutante Ball, longing for her bed.) There is a moving section toward the end of the book, where Debo documents the demise of family members (she appears to have outlived almost everyone mentioned in the book) and it is testament to her colourful and vivid portraits of friends and family, that I felt some empathy for her loss.

For me, the sign of a good read is turning the last page with a mix of satisfaction and reluctance - having thoroughly enjoyed the book and feeling slightly sad that it's finished. Wait For Me fits that bill. I relished my week or two spent in Debo's world and will miss her cast of colourful characters and her down-to-earth take on life. I loved the glimpses into her life and her history - the country houses, the trips and travels, the trials of maintaining a stately home and, of course, her remarkable family.

Still, my piqued interest had plenty of avenues to explore. I have added Debo's other books (and those of her intriguing sisters) to my ever-growing wishlist. I'm also planning a trip to Chatsworth later in the year. If I bump into the lively lady herself - I'll let you know!

You'll love this book if you;

• are interested the lives of the famous Mitford sisters

• want an insider guide to life of a debutant

• would like insights into the running of a stately home

• are intrigued by the social lives of royalty, world leaders and the aristocracy during the last century(less)

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Sep 07, 2011 Christine rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: british, memoir, nonfiction

Ever since I read The Sisters, I've been fascinated by the Mitfords. I also love Nancy Mitford's novels. Thus, the parts of this book dealing with her sisters were interesting and entertaining, with a few especially choice bits (mostly things Nancy and the others said). I also enjoyed the glimpse of a completely different life in a bygone era. Some of "DD"'s choices as a memoirist, however, I found a bit annoying. She seems to be a fairly private person, which I can certainly respect, but a few...more

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Aug 24, 2012 Nan rated it 4 of 5 stars

I enjoy reading comments below where others talk of becoming Mitford addicts. Their life stories are so fascinating, from their parents and grandparents on down. My father knew about them back in the 60s; I recall him telling me about the family when we read Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Death. He'd be pleased that their stories are still being talked about. I found this memoir by Deborah (who became somewhat of an 'accidental' Duchess) to be very frank, moving and compelling. She didn'...more

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