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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

4.09  ·  Rating Details  ·  3,640 Ratings  ·  240 Reviews
The first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do any thing is getting them to hear you out. Whether the person is a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you canOCOt break through emotional barricades."
ebook, 257 pages
Published September 15th 2009 by AMACOM/American Management Association (first published September 1st 2009)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Jenny
Jul 27, 2011 Jenny rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
An excellent book, I'll probably buy it in paperback and re-read it periodically.



Some reminders of what it says:



Stop trying to be interesting, be interested instead.



Practice moving quickly from: Oh fuck! (reaction) to Oh God! (emotional release) to Oh Jeez (re-centre yourself) to Oh well (re-focus) to OK (you are ready to fix this).



Everyone wants to feel "felt".



Letting a person in crisis exhale: they vent, be quiet, they stop, say "tell me more", don't engage or debate or offer solutions, just l
...more
Norm Konzelman
May 27, 2014 Norm Konzelman rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I need this book as a must have, to aquire the skills/habits the author presents. The principles he lays out are profound, and yet when you give them thought, you realize it's just common sense, often times you could even say "common courtesy" in the respect it gives another.
The author presents his work with a worldly view that at times was weird to hear, as in "reptile brain, mammal brain, human brain", but when taken in a biblical context, he borrows what God laid out in His word ages ago.
I ha
...more
George
May 26, 2013 George rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
There are a lot of interesting and salient points made in this book about connecting with people. Some of it seems like common sense, and some of it seems truly novel. At times, though, while I was reading certain chapters, it felt more like a guidebook on how to manipulate others and less like suggestions or recommendations on how to connect with people in a genuine, authentic way. That troubles me and that's why I gave this book 3 stars instead of 4 or 5.

To be clear, the author is definitely a
...more
Victoria
Feb 07, 2012 Victoria rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
"Just Listen" is an outstanding, practical how-to guide for becoming a better face-to-face communicator. As a professional communicator, I often find it easier to write for an amorphous, anonymous large audience, or speak in front of a large room, rather than work one on one with people who are resistant or difficult. Dr. Goulston's book is for people like me, who are friendly, sociable and articulate, but need to refine their personal leadership skills. Sometimes I am prone to thinking that som ...more
Farnoosh Brock
Dec 31, 2015 Farnoosh Brock rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: business-spirit
This is going to the list of my top recommended leadership and self-growth books both for corporate professionals as well as business owners. When my business coach casually mentioned the book, I didn't think much of it so I just ordered the Kindle version and started reading. I had to STOP reading so I could get the physical paper copy of the book and sit up and take notes as I read. And I hardly buy physical copies of books these days, much as I love them, so you know this was special. It has ...more
Erika RS
The core message of this book is sound: getting people to listen to you requires you listening to them. Effective communication requires work to understand the person you are trying to communicate with. Beyond the core message, this book had a lot of practical tips with something of a laundry list feel to their presentation.

I like a lot of the tips, but I sometimes felt the author did not really address the concerns of an average person trying to learn how to listen and communicate better. If y
...more
Van
Oct 02, 2015 Van rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Những lời khuyên về thuật đắc nhân tâm nghe nhiều đến mức đã thành chán nhàm. Không phải là coi thường những lời vàng ngọc đó, nhưng tôi vẫn luôn cảm thấy hoài nghi : Cơ sở của những lời khuyên đó là gì ? Liệu nó có thể áp dụng thành công cho mọi người ?

Chỉ đến khi đọc cuốn sách này, tôi mới thật sự nhận được câu trả lời. Mỗi người có thể là một cá thể độc nhất vô nhị, nhưng cấu tạo bộ não của chúng ta và cách thức nó phản ứng trước căng thẳng thì không khác nhau. Hơn nữa, tác giả cũng không hề
...more
Kelly
Apr 07, 2013 Kelly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: own
This book is a very practical, applicable, "how to" on getting people from a defensive position to one where they may listen to you. Most of us won't have to deal with a hostage situation but at times we may feel like the idiot we're trying to help has us held hostage as they are reacting defensively to a situation and failing to act logically. Goulston does a marvelous job of explaining ways and methods to approach these delicate situations. Hint, don't call the person an idiot. He also does a ...more
Leslie
Jan 25, 2014 Leslie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I read this book in a few hours from my college online library. I just ordered a copy from amazon, this book has so much information that will help me in my personnel life and professional life. Looking forward to getting my copy! there is a lot i want to highlight and re-read. I highly recommend.
Mario Tomic
Sep 25, 2014 Mario Tomic rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very cool book on empathy and managing relationships with people practically in all areas of your life. I'd say it's a must read for anyone dealing with people, for me it was interested as it helps me become a better coach for my clients. If you're a manager, CEO, doctors, attorney, parent or any similar position this book will teach you the exact skills to master the art of maintaining win-win relationships with people you interact with. The only reason why I don't give it 5 stars is because it ...more
Sarah
Great, but I wish it talked about confrontation, religion, and politics. In other words, the most difficult bits.
Miêu Tặc
Jan 23, 2016 Miêu Tặc rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Nói chi thêm một câu
Gieo bao nghiệp khổ đau
Có nhiều khi em ạ
Lặng im là phép màu.
Daniel Dawson
“Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone want to get to work and deal with them.” -Paul Hawken

“Get yourself under control first.”

React - Release - Recenter - Refocus - Re Engage

“Making someone ‘feel felt’ simply means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.”

Steps to Making Other Feel Felt

Attach an emotion to what they’re feeling.
Say, “I’m trying to get a sense of what I think you’re feeling and I think it’s ___. Is tha
...more
Greg
Jun 25, 2015 Greg rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you want to learn how to reach out to people in your family, work, community, or even total strangers, you will definitely learn a lot of useful lessons from Mark Goulston in his book Just Listen. The title itself makes it simpler by saying exactly what you need to do. However, what this book is all about is on how exactly will you listen.

I find this book very interesting because I did not expect that it will be different than other books about interpersonal relationship. I am assuming that t
...more
Patama
Sep 25, 2011 Patama rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
There are several points made this book become one of my favorite book. How this book organized is so effective for learning.

1.Always inroduce concepts with mini stories from the author's real life. This not only attracted the audience
but also showed how he is real great communicator who care reader's think, for example from Sect I: chap 2
"..I got the point. Most poeple reading this book don't care about neurons and neurotransmitter.."
Therefore the scientific part in this book comprise Three
...more
Caren McCracken
Nov 16, 2014 Caren McCracken rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very thoughtful book

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The techniques described in this book can be used by anyone in all aspects of their life, personal and professional. The examples given make it easy to apply. Even if you take just one thing away from this book...........listening.......can improve almost any relationship.
Annie
Feb 20, 2015 Annie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: recommend
This book gives plenty of realistic scenarios: my teenager son hardly tells me anything, I have to work with a co-worker who's constantly angry, my boss doesn't get what I'm saying, and my spouse and I are always fighting. As you're listening to these scenarios (complete with realistic dialogues), you think "Yes, I've been there. What do I need to do to fix it?" The author then gives solutions that move people from arguing to empathizing to listening. The solutions aren't earth shattering. The s ...more
Nicole
May 29, 2013 Nicole rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Full of relatable and easy to use techniques!

I thoroughly enjoyed Goulston’s book! And, while I understand why some people have written reviews stating that he writes with an arrogant tone and tries to show-off his accomplishments, I disagree with this assessment.

While Goulston does use examples from his experience as a psychiatrist and consultant, I think the book has a friendly, genuinely-interested-in-helping-people voice. In fact, as a young woman who didn’t receive much parenting in the w
...more
Shauna
Aug 10, 2012 Shauna rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
Goulston identifies our three brains; the snake brain, the rat brain, and the Mr Spock brain. Obviously, I want to be at Mr Spock level and Goulston has several techniques to reach my nirvana.

From his book: "Techniques create traction – they pull people in. Most people upshift when they want to get through to other people. They persuade, encourage, argue, push. In the process, they create resistance. When you use these techniques, you’ll do the opposite – listen, ask, mirror and reflect back t
...more
Kevin Eikenberry
What is a more universally valuable skill than being a good listener?

While I know a number of people who are really good listeners, they are in the minority, and are only really good in some situations. And, through my work over the last 30 years, I have observed that nearly everyone, whatever their skill level, would like to be better at this skill.

Enter Just Listen.

This book, released in paperback earlier this year, has been around for a number of years, and frankly, I’m disappointed I wasn’t
...more
Earl Gray
This is an excellent book on deep, effective listening. It simply and accessibly written. The first section about the difference between the three main ways our brain responds and the illustrations of it are worth the price of the book alone. I am experientially learning my way through it, applying the different aspects.

04.06.12 - This book is remarkable, full of cascading, remarkable insights. Read this, slowly, and put it into play. It will make a difference in your life.
Nancy
Apr 04, 2016 Nancy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
There is a lot of useful information here. I found the concept of "amygdala hijack" particularly interesting; I've seen it in action more than once! I did find the book a bit repetitive and slow moving, but in part that may be because I'm not a businessperson and found the constant use business-related scenarios tedious. There's not a lot here that isn't common sense, but at the same time, the author does a good job of clarifying *why* certain tactics work and how to become a better listener. Al ...more
Annette
Sep 17, 2014 Annette rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent book, I got the audio version and keep playing it at my office. I've listened to it at least 4 times so far and every time find a new lesson. Helpful and with many insights for personal and business life.
You have to read for your own sake. Nowadays we spend a lot of time dealing with many different people. We have been raised in a world were the "stronger" has to crash the "weaker" (At least you ave to let them think like that), where we are all stressed out by situations or other peo
...more
David Bradley
Goulston offers a great reminder: LISTEN. So many of us don't - and those of us that do are so often not so great at it. (If you're really interested in the topic of listening, check out Co-Active Coaching and their section on the Three Levels of Listening).

Unfortunately, I can't say there was much "there" there. Goulston does offer activities and exercises that you really should try. Some of his lines seem better in a textbook than active use, but others are purely brilliant. Either way of how
...more
Loretta
I originally picked up the audiobook through my library. I have found that this is a better media for absorbing information and helps me to process more productively and creatively. I will be purchasing this audiobook for my home library, but have already ordered a paperback so that I can break out the highlighter to correlate my scribbled notes everywhere.

Yes, this deals with common sense. But it also suggests alternative questions to ask, ones I would rarely think to ask, and usually only afte
...more
Gregory
May 09, 2011 Gregory rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: leadership, 2011
This was a paradigm changing book that I think everyone should read. It is how we don't really listen to others for understanding. We need to be more attentive and we would get much more satisfaction out of our relationships. If you have teenagers this book should be a must read.
Miranda Diaz
Dr. Goulston outlines strategies for faster coping during crisis, mirroring others, recognizing needs, and deescalating with a little manipulation thrown in for good measure. Some of his examples were a titch simplistic and not-so-believable, but on the whole a very good read.
Homy
If you want to have deeper connection with people in your life, the secret is deep listening ... to what is said and what is not said. Mark Goulston opens a door to many clues that we usually ignore and never able to open up the secret chest of our companions.
Anton Antonov
Oct 12, 2015 Anton Antonov rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Not a book for the everyday person. I expected a simple and unobtrusive "self-help" book, instead I get the hostage negotiator's pocket guide.

I like my books straight to the point without unneedless cliched stories.
Heather Couchenour
Amazing. I am trying to put it into play on a daily basis. I learned a lot about how to be a better listener. I have a lot to learn. I am hoping that other's will see an improvement in my communication styles.

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MARK GOULSTON, M.D., is a business psychiatrist and consultant, author of the bestselling Just Listen, and subject of the PBS special “Just Listen with Dr. Goulston.” He writes a Tribune syndicated career column; blogs for Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; and is featured frequently in major media including The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fort ...more
More about Mark Goulston...

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“One absolutely crucial element in moving your brain from panic to logic is to put words to what you’re feeling at each stage.” 2 likes
“Perpetually needy people suck the life out of you, because no matter what you do for them, it’s never enough.” 1 likes
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