Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone” as Want to Read:
Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

4.08 of 5 stars 4.08  ·  rating details  ·  2,965 ratings  ·  209 reviews
The first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do any thing is getting them to hear you out. Whether the person is a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you canOCOt break through emotional barricades."
ebook, 257 pages
Published September 15th 2009 by AMACOM/American Management Association (first published September 1st 2009)
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.
This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
An excellent book, I'll probably buy it in paperback and re-read it periodically.

Some reminders of what it says:

Stop trying to be interesting, be interested instead.

Practice moving quickly from: Oh fuck! (reaction) to Oh God! (emotional release) to Oh Jeez (re-centre yourself) to Oh well (re-focus) to OK (you are ready to fix this).

Everyone wants to feel "felt".

Letting a person in crisis exhale: they vent, be quiet, they stop, say "tell me more", don't engage or debate or offer solutions, just l
Norm Konzelman
I need this book as a must have, to aquire the skills/habits the author presents. The principles he lays out are profound, and yet when you give them thought, you realize it's just common sense, often times you could even say "common courtesy" in the respect it gives another.
The author presents his work with a worldly view that at times was weird to hear, as in "reptile brain, mammal brain, human brain", but when taken in a biblical context, he borrows what God laid out in His word ages ago.
I ha
There are a lot of interesting and salient points made in this book about connecting with people. Some of it seems like common sense, and some of it seems truly novel. At times, though, while I was reading certain chapters, it felt more like a guidebook on how to manipulate others and less like suggestions or recommendations on how to connect with people in a genuine, authentic way. That troubles me and that's why I gave this book 3 stars instead of 4 or 5.

To be clear, the author is definitely a
"Just Listen" is an outstanding, practical how-to guide for becoming a better face-to-face communicator. As a professional communicator, I often find it easier to write for an amorphous, anonymous large audience, or speak in front of a large room, rather than work one on one with people who are resistant or difficult. Dr. Goulston's book is for people like me, who are friendly, sociable and articulate, but need to refine their personal leadership skills. Sometimes I am prone to thinking that som ...more
Erika RS
The core message of this book is sound: getting people to listen to you requires you listening to them. Effective communication requires work to understand the person you are trying to communicate with. Beyond the core message, this book had a lot of practical tips with something of a laundry list feel to their presentation.

I like a lot of the tips, but I sometimes felt the author did not really address the concerns of an average person trying to learn how to listen and communicate better. If y
Những lời khuyên về thuật đắc nhân tâm nghe nhiều đến mức đã thành chán nhàm. Không phải là coi thường những lời vàng ngọc đó, nhưng tôi vẫn luôn cảm thấy hoài nghi : Cơ sở của những lời khuyên đó là gì ? Liệu nó có thể áp dụng thành công cho mọi người ?

Chỉ đến khi đọc cuốn sách này, tôi mới thật sự nhận được câu trả lời. Mỗi người có thể là một cá thể độc nhất vô nhị, nhưng cấu tạo bộ não của chúng ta và cách thức nó phản ứng trước căng thẳng thì không khác nhau. Hơn nữa, tác giả cũng không hề
This book is a very practical, applicable, "how to" on getting people from a defensive position to one where they may listen to you. Most of us won't have to deal with a hostage situation but at times we may feel like the idiot we're trying to help has us held hostage as they are reacting defensively to a situation and failing to act logically. Goulston does a marvelous job of explaining ways and methods to approach these delicate situations. Hint, don't call the person an idiot. He also does a ...more
I read this book in a few hours from my college online library. I just ordered a copy from amazon, this book has so much information that will help me in my personnel life and professional life. Looking forward to getting my copy! there is a lot i want to highlight and re-read. I highly recommend.
Mario Tomic
Very cool book on empathy and managing relationships with people practically in all areas of your life. I'd say it's a must read for anyone dealing with people, for me it was interested as it helps me become a better coach for my clients. If you're a manager, CEO, doctors, attorney, parent or any similar position this book will teach you the exact skills to master the art of maintaining win-win relationships with people you interact with. The only reason why I don't give it 5 stars is because it ...more
Great, but I wish it talked about confrontation, religion, and politics. In other words, the most difficult bits.
Greg Hawod
If you want to learn how to reach out to people in your family, work, community, or even total strangers, you will definitely learn a lot of useful lessons from Mark Goulston in his book Just Listen. The title itself makes it simpler by saying exactly what you need to do. However, what this book is all about is on how exactly will you listen.

I find this book very interesting because I did not expect that it will be different than other books about interpersonal relationship. I am assuming that t
There are several points made this book become one of my favorite book. How this book organized is so effective for learning.

1.Always inroduce concepts with mini stories from the author's real life. This not only attracted the audience
but also showed how he is real great communicator who care reader's think, for example from Sect I: chap 2
"..I got the point. Most poeple reading this book don't care about neurons and neurotransmitter.."
Therefore the scientific part in this book comprise Three
Caren McCracken
Very thoughtful book

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The techniques described in this book can be used by anyone in all aspects of their life, personal and professional. The examples given make it easy to apply. Even if you take just one thing away from this book...........listening.......can improve almost any relationship.
This book gives plenty of realistic scenarios: my teenager son hardly tells me anything, I have to work with a co-worker who's constantly angry, my boss doesn't get what I'm saying, and my spouse and I are always fighting. As you're listening to these scenarios (complete with realistic dialogues), you think "Yes, I've been there. What do I need to do to fix it?" The author then gives solutions that move people from arguing to empathizing to listening. The solutions aren't earth shattering. The s ...more
Full of relatable and easy to use techniques!

I thoroughly enjoyed Goulston’s book! And, while I understand why some people have written reviews stating that he writes with an arrogant tone and tries to show-off his accomplishments, I disagree with this assessment.

While Goulston does use examples from his experience as a psychiatrist and consultant, I think the book has a friendly, genuinely-interested-in-helping-people voice. In fact, as a young woman who didn’t receive much parenting in the w
Goulston identifies our three brains; the snake brain, the rat brain, and the Mr Spock brain. Obviously, I want to be at Mr Spock level and Goulston has several techniques to reach my nirvana.

From his book: "Techniques create traction – they pull people in. Most people upshift when they want to get through to other people. They persuade, encourage, argue, push. In the process, they create resistance. When you use these techniques, you’ll do the opposite – listen, ask, mirror and reflect back t
Daniel Dawson
“Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone want to get to work and deal with them.” -Paul Hawken

“Get yourself under control first.”

React - Release - Recenter - Refocus - Re Engage

“Making someone ‘feel felt’ simply means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.”

Steps to Making Other Feel Felt

Attach an emotion to what they’re feeling.
Say, “I’m trying to get a sense of what I think you’re feeling and I think it’s ___. Is tha
Earl Gray
This is an excellent book on deep, effective listening. It simply and accessibly written. The first section about the difference between the three main ways our brain responds and the illustrations of it are worth the price of the book alone. I am experientially learning my way through it, applying the different aspects.

04.06.12 - This book is remarkable, full of cascading, remarkable insights. Read this, slowly, and put it into play. It will make a difference in your life.
Excellent book, I got the audio version and keep playing it at my office. I've listened to it at least 4 times so far and every time find a new lesson. Helpful and with many insights for personal and business life.
You have to read for your own sake. Nowadays we spend a lot of time dealing with many different people. We have been raised in a world were the "stronger" has to crash the "weaker" (At least you ave to let them think like that), where we are all stressed out by situations or other peo
David Bradley
Goulston offers a great reminder: LISTEN. So many of us don't - and those of us that do are so often not so great at it. (If you're really interested in the topic of listening, check out Co-Active Coaching and their section on the Three Levels of Listening).

Unfortunately, I can't say there was much "there" there. Goulston does offer activities and exercises that you really should try. Some of his lines seem better in a textbook than active use, but others are purely brilliant. Either way of how
I originally picked up the audiobook through my library. I have found that this is a better media for absorbing information and helps me to process more productively and creatively. I will be purchasing this audiobook for my home library, but have already ordered a paperback so that I can break out the highlighter to correlate my scribbled notes everywhere.

Yes, this deals with common sense. But it also suggests alternative questions to ask, ones I would rarely think to ask, and usually only afte
This was a paradigm changing book that I think everyone should read. It is how we don't really listen to others for understanding. We need to be more attentive and we would get much more satisfaction out of our relationships. If you have teenagers this book should be a must read.
Miranda Diaz
Dr. Goulston outlines strategies for faster coping during crisis, mirroring others, recognizing needs, and deescalating with a little manipulation thrown in for good measure. Some of his examples were a titch simplistic and not-so-believable, but on the whole a very good read.
If you want to have deeper connection with people in your life, the secret is deep listening ... to what is said and what is not said. Mark Goulston opens a door to many clues that we usually ignore and never able to open up the secret chest of our companions.
Anton Antonov
Not a book for the everyday person. I expected a simple and unobtrusive "self-help" book, instead I get the hostage negotiator's pocket guide.

I like my books straight to the point without unneedless cliched stories.
Heather Couchenour
Amazing. I am trying to put it into play on a daily basis. I learned a lot about how to be a better listener. I have a lot to learn. I am hoping that other's will see an improvement in my communication styles.

I'm really liking this book. It's a great book to read - as a Librarian and as a human being. LOL. Seriously though - People do not know how to listen to each other. Listening is a skill.
Wish I'd read this book 30 years ago! Listened to this on audiobook. The author has a nice voice to listen to. I bought this for students at a university college of business--I think this would benefit many of our students.

I think this book would be most useful for someone who is an executive or manager, but still useful for others. What it doesn't address (and hey you can't expect the guy to do everything in one book) is differences in the approach that women may need to take. I can see his sug
Stephen Bump
Although the title of this book hints that listening is all you have to do to get through to people, the author actually describes techniques much more complex than simply listening. The art of getting through to difficult people involves different techniques depending on the situation. However, the basis behind each technique is the same. A few key points that Goulston makes is to make the other person feel valued and “felt,” try to be interested instead of interesting, and help people to menta ...more
Tom Foreman
Stating the obvious and stretching it into a book. An article would have sufficiently covered the context.
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 99 100 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior
  • Lead with a Story: A Guide to Crafting Business Narratives That Captivate, Convince, and Inspire
  • Talk Less, Say More: 3 Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen
  • People Skills
  • Mojo: How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back If You Lose It
  • The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help - Or Hurt - How You Lead
  • The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism
  • Smart Thinking: Three Essential Keys to Solve Problems, Innovate, and Get Things Done
  • Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior
  • It's Not All about Me: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone
  • The Story Factor: Inspiration, Influence, and Persuasion through the Art of Storytelling
  • Power Listening: Mastering the Most Critical Business Skill of All
  • The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work
  • The Little Book of Talent: 52 Tips for Improving Your Skills
  • Start with No: The Negotiating Tools That the Pros Don't Want You to Know
  • The Little Black Book of Innovation: How It Works, How to Do It
  • Coaching For Performance: Growing People, Performance and Purpose
  • Power Questions - Build Relationships, Win New Business and Influence Others
MARK GOULSTON, M.D., is a business psychiatrist and consultant, author of the bestselling Just Listen, and subject of the PBS special “Just Listen with Dr. Goulston.” He writes a Tribune syndicated career column; blogs for Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; and is featured frequently in major media including The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fort ...more
More about Mark Goulston...

Share This Book

“One absolutely crucial element in moving your brain from panic to logic is to put words to what you’re feeling at each stage.” 3 likes
“Don’t be afraid of sharing your vulnerabilities. Vulnerability doesn’t make you weak, it makes you accessible. Know that your vulnerability can be your strength. —KEITH FERRAZZI, AUTHOR, WHO’S GOT YOUR BACK” 1 likes
More quotes…