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Date...or Soul Mate?: How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less
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Date...or Soul Mate?: How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less

3.65 of 5 stars 3.65  ·  rating details  ·  152 ratings  ·  31 reviews
He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love-or to a negative or even catastrophic relationship. This book helps men and women who want healthy and satisfying marriages identify the early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship ...more
ebook, 224 pages
Published April 30th 2002 by Thomas Nelson Publishers (first published 2002)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 310)
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Amy
Go ahead and make fun of me now for reading and listing this book.

Okay, now that your mockery is complete, let me be direct.

I wish I had read this book when I was 22, instead of when I was 32. I think EVERY unmarried person should read this book. I am a MUCH wiser and more realistic dater after having read it.

If you know any unmarried people who are searching for their spouses, buy this book for them. They will thank you.
StoryTellerShannon
I've read several dating books, and, after a while, they overlap, appearing too similar. Most of them give pep talks and have their little strategies for making fine impressions on others.
But, what's the point of all the above if you're meeting people who are not personality matches for you? Or, what if you're blinded by outside appearances yet don't really know what suits you best for a long term relationship?

So, while I don't know if Warren's book is a panacea, he sets up some new and refreshi
...more
Ihsan Mani
A very good book for singles and even for married people. One of the reasons the author wrote and published this book is to reduce the divorce rate in the society by guiding singles on how to select a mate and not just any mate but a soul mate.

The author helps the reader to make a better selection by recommending and strongly advising each person to get to know himself better, and to select a mate that fits him the most instead of just selecting a mate for the purpose of 'Marriage'. Marriage is
...more
Karen Germain
My good friend Fanny recommended the Neil Clark Warren (founder of eharmony) book “Date of Soul Mate.” I’ve never done eharmony and at this point, not planning to, but the book had a few sections that she wanted me to read. The book had been helpful to her, especially the section on creating a list of the top ten must haves/can’t stands in a potential partner. Over the years, I have fallen into the trap of meeting lots of very nice guys, who have not met my needs and it probably was because I ha ...more
Jaclyn
I am trying to take a different approach to dating this time around, and this book really helped me in that regard. I borrowed it from the library, and unfortunately there was someone else who had requested it, so I had to get through it pretty quickly. I wish I could have kept it a little longer so that I could actually refer back to it (maybe I'll give in and go buy a copy). Since I had it only a short time, the main thing I took away from it was the importance of being clear on your Must Have ...more
Erika
A surprisingly good read for any singles out there. I was impressed by Warren's insight as well as the dignified manner in which he wrote. I am certainly going to be using his suggestions in the future, which I have found to be very helpful. The only thing I felt this book lacked is help in how to meet people. It was great in coaching for how to decide about who to date, just not how to get the date. :)
Ariel
I didn't dislike this book, but I wasn't blown away by it either.Dr. Warren uses basic dating and relationship principles to stress matching with others who are nearly identical to you. He firmly believes our ideal soulmates are basically the same person as ourselves, just the opposite gender.

I don't agree with this. While I feel our soulmates, and mine specifically, do have a lot in common with us/myself, we aren't 100% identical. We have differences. We disagree on things. That's what makes us
...more
Tgirl
So... this book was more targeted for adults, but I like to read books before people consider me "in age" for it. And I have to say, this book didn't really start interesting me until halfway through, but I enjoyed it so much more than the other relationship books in a lot of regards. Unlike books where religion is the only focus (like, don't be interested in a guy or girl who is not a Christian like you or something like that), this book focuses on the more practical everyday things like "does ...more
Margo
While this book sometimes feels like an ad for online dating, there were definitely some excellent things to think about in the book. It is a quick read but full of good examples of how to apply the principles in your dating life.
Rosemary
Bought this book for me and a friend when I found 2 copies at a thrift store. NOT bc we are looking for marriage.. Been there done that and have the t-shirt thanks! But bc it was 50 cents. So WTH, and bc a way of weeding out the ones who turn into asses would be helpful.
Skimmed thru it.. Seems interesting so far.. And the "self-questions" and stuff looks interesting, and applicable to more than just dating.. But to life in general.. And to those of us looking to find ourselves.

More important th
...more
Kimberly
The core of any decent relationship book that's worth its MSRP can be boiled down to a simple premise: know thyself to know what you realistically want in a partner. This book, as an extremely easy read, introduced a different quality to mate selection: writing a "shopping list" of core traits, no more than 10, that are your must haves and can't stands. Reflecting on my list, and the 20 questions in the "Know Yourself" chapter, allowed me to clearly define what I'm interested in beyond "looks ey ...more
Jennie Richardson
This was an easy read and gave you a lot of food for thought. Had I read this book 20 years ago, it might have saved me a whole lot of wasted time dating the wrong men. This book challenges you to take a hard look at yourself and what you truly want in a permanent partner. He even has a chapter on how to tell the other person gently that you do not want to pursue the relationship any further. When my daughter gets old enough, I will pass this book onto to her and encourage her to use it to date ...more
Marsha
I picked this book up as a joke for a friend, but after thumbing through it, I decided to read a few chapters. I quickly became engrossed and couldn't put the book down until I head read it in its entirety. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a long-term relationship. This book helps you define what it is that you're actually looking for in a relationship. I wish I had read this book before I got married because after finishing it, I realized I had more in common with my dog than with th ...more
Katrina
Informative as a book can get for life. I actually use the 10 can't stand/must haves list for clients in my counseling practice who are struggling in this area. Also tell them about the book and how the author was the co-founder of eharmony.com and how they did decades of research that is used for the site and this book. I used it to find my husband at 30 and am happily married now!!!
Angie
The most interesting part of this book was creating a list of must haves and can't stands in a relationship but the advice to take that on every date seems a little unrealistic and a bit of a buzz kill. Plus the end result of all relationships is not marriage. Still, it took a little over an hour to read and was interesting. Not a miracle cure but had some value.
Lawrence
This book is THE book I would have wrote concerning dating/courting. It basically asks you to examine yourself and narrow down who you are and who you believe you'll be compatible with. It sounds unromantic but if you've spent years leaving your fate to the stars without success, I think this book may identify why that is.
Josh Anderson
I read Warren's book "Finding the Love of Your Life" a while back & this felt like reading the same book. I always enjoy honing my dating "skills" but I almost feel like this is also why I'm still single: there are simply too many things that need to match up between me & a woman that I will never find anyone :(
Stacy Simpson
I must say this has given me a lot of insight about myself and what I'm looking for in a relationship. Hopefully it will guide me to what I've been missing out on for years now. Don't think I'll be doing the harmony thing but in for sure more well equipped to go out there and get what I want.
Michele
Oct 18, 2008 Michele rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone in the dating scene
Recommended to Michele by: my therapist - OYID
Okay, yes, this is the eHarmony guy and yes, that's a really cheesy subject, BUT this book had the greatest tip ever - write down the 10 things you're looking for and the 10 things you won't accept in a mate and don't settle for less. They should teach a mandatory course on this shit in college.
Ximena Molina
A book that helps you understand yourself better to be able to recognize the personality traits that would make you happier. Is a must have if you are looking for a stable long-term relationship or just getting to know yourself better on that arena. Really good insight.
Tatyana
I luved it, but if only there was a formula for the chemistry! I keep meeting great guys whose compatiblity to me is thru the roof...but I feel nothing. I'm thinking the only book to help me with that one is probably going to be my little Bible ~
Jacquie
I read this book to help some of my friends who are trying to decide if the guy they are dating is "the one". I found it to be very interesting and I would highly recommend it!
Joe Narvaez
Best Section was the anecdote about the guy getting matched up with a lady way out of his proverbial league. The second best thing is the list of desired values.
Marsha
Jun 24, 2008 Marsha rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Marsha by: Janice Pittard
Had some very thought-provoking questions and some qualities/characteristics to consider about yourself and the opposite sex
Susan
Excellent suggestions...unfortunately, I've had a LOT of two dates or less. I'm an expert now!
Nora
Allows you to examine facets about yourself you never might have thought about before
Annie
haha didn't mean to click this one. i never even herad about this book
Dawn Wells
Think you're too cool for a self-help dating book? Think again!
Sara Smith
I'm reading this for Bible study. Will see how it goes!
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