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Torchwood: Almost Perfect (Torchwood #9)

3.74  ·  Rating Details ·  876 Ratings  ·  84 Reviews

Emma is 30, single and frankly desperate. She woke up this morning with nothing to look forward to but another evening of unsuccessful speed-dating. But now she has a new weapon in her quest for Mr Right. And it's made her almost perfect.

Gwen Cooper woke up this morning expecting the unexpected. As usual. She went to work and found a skeleton at a table for two and a coll

Kindle Edition, 258 pages
Published July 31st 2010 by BBC Digital (first published November 20th 2008)
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Apr 08, 2011 Megan rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: no one
I am beginning to think that James Goss might be one of the most horrible sci fi tie-in novelists around, or just novelist, take your pick. The first thing I ever read by Goss was 'Doctor Who: Dead Air' (written in 2010 by the way) and that was God awful (even my mother thought so). So let me give him another try with an earlier Torchwood novel he wrote. Apparently not. There are so many, many things wrong with this novel. It's like where to start?

The chapters have... titles. It's not like Chapt
May 27, 2008 Melanie rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Torchwood fans
Recommended to Melanie by: n/a
Eh, I know it's tv-related fiction but seriously! Is it really supposed to read like bad fan fiction? Perhaps I just didn't like the author's style and the chapter titles were pretty lame. I always get confused with canon and fanon. But I think I can see the difference with this book. The character voices were all wrong and when you based a novel on something, the fans read it because they enjoy certain things - like the characterizations. Mess with that and then you suddenly mess with a story a ...more
Jul 26, 2010 Sally rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: transgender
OMG. Captain Jack being himself, Ianto Jones transformed into the ‘perfect’ woman, Captain Jack, lots of gay sex, and (did I mention?) Captain Jack. If you’re even a casual watcher of Torchwood, then you have to pick this book up! I stumbled across it in a bookstore one weekend, then ignored everyone and everything around me as I devoured most of it on the train ride home.

As the book begins, we learn that Ianto Jones has awakened with a gap in his memory, no clothes, and the body of a ‘perfect’
May 11, 2008 Shelley rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Sheila, perhaps? *g*
Shelves: sci-fi, whoniverse
I was initially not too interested in the unique style (odd chapter lengths from one sentence to several pages, odd chapter titles, lots of changing POVs, lots of tense changes), but it did manage to suck me in. I liked Emma, somewhat, and definitely sympathized with her. I liked that Tosh and Owen weren't forgotten. I liked Gwen and Rhys, for the most part. And in the end, I liked the odd chapter titles.

I think I wish this book had actually been written by a woman. Ianto started out quite inte
Sean Kennedy
You expect something a little better than substandard fanfiction as part of official merchandise. In fact, there is better fanfiction on the net than this book. It seems to have taken some of the crackier tropes of the fanfiction genre ("Hey! Ianto wakes up as a woman!") and pushes it to the limit. But that's not actually the worst part of the book - it's the fact that the characterisations seem really off. The only part I can recommend is that Owen and Tosh are still nicely remembered, and show ...more
Mar 18, 2012 Kelarks rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I'm not going to lie and say it was the best Torchwood novel that I've read, because it isn't, but it's not completely unpalatable. Yes, Ianto's characterization is woeful but the plot is unique and kind of funny.

It reads a little bit like a sketchy fanfiction at times and the constant switching of POVs got very annoying very fast. I also wish that the book had delved a little deeper than skin level with Ianto's character, perhaps realistically working out how he'd react to suddenly being a wom
Mar 05, 2012 Matt rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book quickly delved into bad fanfiction territory. The writing was so-so, the characterisations were off, bite-sized story lines, and by the end of it it had turned into gay stereotypes. The overall plot was promising, but when the author only played with the characters on the shallow end of the pool and didn’t delve into the deep end to give us a better insight into the characters and story, it failed the potential it had.

The only redeeming factor for this book was despite the fact that I
Feb 26, 2009 V rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I don't think I've ever read anything so obviously crack-ish in my life. How this even got published I have no idea, but it was awesome. The villains are gods who come to Cardiff to save the gay scene from mullets - WHAT? Also featured awesome chapter titles such as "Ianto can ride a horse across a beach without fear or shame".
Dec 26, 2008 Jeremy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: books-of-2008
At least there was lots of Ianto. The Facebook update conceit was interesting at first but it went on too long for me. Otherwise, it was an interesting mystery, and it did good at dealing with the post S2 trauma and loss. Good. But the fanfic out there is better. Step it up.
Feb 07, 2017 Katrana rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This was a meh read really, there's a few issues when it comes to characterization. Especially Gwen, her character seemed really off and a lot meaner than I find her in the show and the other Torchwood books.

I won't go on too much as I would just be repeating what other reviewers have said. However I will say that if you are a fan of the show or just a fan of any of the characters then you might be able to find this an enjoyable read.

I have watched the show, and I love Ianto so I could get throu
Dec 30, 2016 H3dakota rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Well... lots of Ianto, so that's good. The rest, not so much. Just never know what you are going to end up getting with these TW/DW stories, they can be hit or miss. This one is a miss, sadly.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jun 02, 2014 Craig rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I struggled with this book. It should have been a quick weekend read, but almost two years later I finished it. After the first 1/4 I put it down and didn't go back to it until months later. Then I started back from the beginning. And again, put it aside and didn't go back to it again until months later. It became a vicious cycle I should have avoided by powering my way through it the first time.

This is the ninth book in the series, most of which I've only rated 3 stars or less. I think this is
Jim C
Mar 16, 2015 Jim C rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
My actual rating is 1.5 stars.

A book based on the television series. This takes place in between season two and season three. In this one, Ianto wakes up one morning as a beautiful woman and he has no recollection of how it happened.

I did not care for this book. My first problem is the characters felt off to me especially Jack. Jack isn't the noblest hero but in this book I felt like he was shallow. Gwen being jealous of Ianto and his looks didn't seem to fit in with the character either. I can
Dec 07, 2015 Tamara rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2015
Actual rating: 3.5 stars

I loved reading a book on Torchwood, not just Doctor Who, for a change. I really enjoy books that belong to TV shows. They are this little external universe that could be canon or not, that can be really interesting.

Torchwood is a lot different than Doctor Who and I love the characters a lot. Captain Jack Harkness has a special place in my heart and Almost Perfect got that across pretty well. Same goes for the other characters. Ianto and Gwen are mabye not my favourite ch
Nicholas Whyte[return][return]I may have mentioned once or twice that I think James Goss is one of the best writers of Who spinoff literature currently in business. Almost Perfect appears to have been his first book, a 2008. Torchwood novel set between Season 2 and Children of Earth, and while I liked it a lot it doesn't quite reach the level of his later work. There is a sexy alien presence, which is classic Torchwood, and Ianto gets transformed into a beautiful woma ...more
To misuse a baseball term, this book struck out swinging.

It tried, very hard, to be a fun Torchwood book, in keeping with the show. And bits of it are excellent. Gwen and Rhys, Emma Webster, the Cheryl Cole style voice in her head, are all wonderfully drawn. They sounded real and believable. Jack and Ianto, not so much. Which is a problem when it's a book that focuses on Jack and Ianto.

In a large part, it's because I don't believe our Ianto Jones, Ianto - unflappable, repressing everything, neve
Mar 30, 2011 Michelle rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is my second Torchwood spin-off novel, and it was far more enjoyable than the first one I'd read. It's certainly not the best written novel ever, but I felt the author captured the voices of the three main characters very well. I found myself hearing the dialogue in my head, as it might sound coming from the actors. The structure and chapter-style was strange at first, but by the end I was curious to see what new play on words the author would come up with for the next chapter title.

The las
Lizabeth Tucker
This Torchwood book had an interesting premise, but failed to deliver. A magic machine has wreaked havoc in Cardiff, from mysterious disappearances to a desperate young woman searching for love to Ianto Jones waking up as a woman. Yes, you read that right, our favorite coffee brewer and Jack's partner in work and love has become an almost perfectly beautiful woman.

I have a few major complaints about this book. First, Goss tends to tell us rather than show us. We don't get to "see" how Ianto and
May 15, 2014 Lavender rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: own, lauras-shelf
Several of my friends regularly watch/watched Dr Who and Torchwood. I managed to never get into Torchwood when it was on the air. I was familiar with the characters and concepts due to catching bits and pieces of the show or hearing friends discuss some point or other. I'm more of a reader than TV watcher, so I started reading this series as I was interested enough to see what it was all about. At first, I had assumed the novels would just retell the events from the TV show, but these are totall ...more
Jun 17, 2009 Kiri rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This sneaked into my reading. At first I was kinda half-hearted about it (a break from the huge volume of the complete Sherlock Holmes) but the story did draw me in. Significantly better than the only other Torchwood book I've read. A harsh light shone on the singles scene of Cardiff - it certainly makes me happy I'm not twenty-something and looking for love - but also a surprisingly apt portrait of the relationship between Gwen and Rhys... the difference between settled love and the intensity o ...more
Mar 02, 2009 Keri rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sci-fi, tie-in
I unashamedly loved this book, which is saying something given that it's set post-season-2 and therefore does not feature my two favorite Torchwood characters. It's laugh-out-loud funny, and makes very clever use of the Facebook-status gimmick (a much more effective nod to current technology trends than the "Second Reality" business in Another Life), even managing to make it subtly creepy at one point.

Yes, the plot concept reads like crack fanfiction, but that's all part of the fun. Don't expect
May 26, 2013 Jaq rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I loved Torchwood as a television series, and this is the first I've read in the Torchwood novels.

And it didn't disappoint. The characters felt like the ones on television - Captain Jack trying to shag his way out of the "dire end of Cardiff situation" - Gwen and Rhys....and Ianto....even though he was slightly different....

What I did struggle with is the interpretation of what being a female is, and are we really as shallow as the book portrays i.e. only interested in Weight Watchers points and
Chent Higson
I have been looking for this book for a few years and after finally finding it IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT.
Definitely one of the top Torchwood novels! The Perfection's meat rooms were creepy, but Ianto being turned into a women was brilliant. Some of the ideas are confusing, like I'm still not 100% sure what the Perfection actually wanted to do, but it wasn't a significant loss. Also the set out of the novel itself and the chapter titles? So good! "Five Rare Times That Ianto Swears" and all.
Jan 19, 2009 Sheila rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
This was a quick and very enjoyable/entertaining read. Lots of funny snarky dialog! Exactly the kind of stuff I've come to expect from Torchwood. I also really liked the "styling" of some of the chapters. For instance, one chapter is done entirely like Facebook status updates ("Emma Webster is..."), and another is done in numbered list format. The resolution felt a tad rushed, but again, something I've come to expect from Torchwood.
Jun 06, 2010 Sio rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Really enjoyed this book. Even though I bought all the books to date, I hadn't got around to reading any until I just decided on this one this past weekend. It was such an easy read because the characters were spot on, the dialogue witty and I wanted to know how they were going to get themselves out of this one! Can't wait to read the rest of the books now for sure, as well as go back and rewatch the series.
Jan 05, 2009 Demi rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Honestly, I didn't expect much from this, except the fact that Ianto is a girl and Jack is as incorrigible as ever. There was a moral, I suppose? I was distracted by the surprisingly in-character banter and how much Gwen worries about Jack and Ianto's sex life.

Which, I admit, I worry about too.

Overall, it read like a well-thought fanfiction, which, of course, is what it is, albeit authorized. Hmm, maybe I should try that?
Amanda [Novel Addiction]
This book was.. Interesting. I'm not sure this was the best choice for my first Torchwood novel because of the strange writing style, but considering how ADHD the Torchwood operatives can be sometimes ( I'm looking at you, Captain Jack) it kind of worked, mostly. I am definitely still interested in trying more Torchwood books, so if you're not a fan of the writing style, don't let that put you off any of the other novels.
Jan 23, 2012 Vanessa rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Of the nine Torchwood novels I have read, James Goss' "Almost Perfect" is my favorite. I truly enjoyed his writing style and his grasp of each character. Ianto as a girl? Bloody brilliant! The names of each chapter were just as much fun to read as the chapters themselves. Started and finished in less than 24 hours because I could not put it down. Very good read, in my humble opinion!
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when is this due out? 1 6 Jul 10, 2008 12:22PM  
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James Goss has written two Torchwood novels and a radio play, as well as a Being Human book. His Doctor Who audiobook Dead Air won Best Audiobook 2010. James also spent seven years working on the BBC's official Doctor Who website and co-wrote the website for Torchwood Series One. In 2007, he won the Best Adaptation category in the annual LA Weekly Theatre Awards for his version of Douglas Adams' n ...more
More about James Goss...

Other Books in the Series

Torchwood (1 - 10 of 19 books)
  • Another Life (Torchwood, #1)
  • Border Princes (Torchwood, #2)
  • Slow Decay (Torchwood, #3)
  • Something in the Water (Torchwood, #4)
  • Trace Memory (Torchwood, #5)
  • The Twilight Streets (Torchwood, #6)
  • Pack Animals (Torchwood, #7)
  • Skypoint (Torchwood, #8)
  • Into the Silence (Torchwood, #10)
  • Bay of the Dead (Torchwood, #11)

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