Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life

Sep 21, 2011 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: my kid

Recommended to Lisa by: NPR

The only thing cynical about this book is its title.
In her closing pages, Armstrong writes, "The attempt to become a compassionate being is a lifelong project. It is not achieved in an hour or a day-or even in twelve steps. It is a struggle that will last until our dying hour. Nearly every day we will fail, but we cannot give up."
Why do I point out the obvious marketing ploy of the title? Because my name is Lisa, and I am a recovering snark-a-holic. I grew up in a household where debate was a b...more The only thing cynical about this book is its title.
In her closing pages, Armstrong writes, "The attempt to become a compassionate being is a lifelong project. It is not achieved in an hour or a day-or even in twelve steps. It is a struggle that will last until our dying hour. Nearly every day we will fail, but we cannot give up."
Why do I point out the obvious marketing ploy of the title? Because my name is Lisa, and I am a recovering snark-a-holic. I grew up in a household where debate was a blood sport. My two little sisters and I engaged in verbal sparring like three kittens gleefully eviscerating prey. It really wasn't until I brought home my verbally restrained husband that I saw anything bizarre about that.
Armstrong's background as a religious scholar serves the narrative well. She feeds my voracious appetite for knowledge as she gently suggests that perhaps we smarty-pants-know-it-all's don't actually know as much as we think. Rather than fly to judgement, she suggests we ought to reflect a bit upon the vastness of what we don't know about our perceived opponent. Do we ruminate, Rumsfeld-style, on the unknown unknowns for a tactical advantage? No. The point here is not to win the war, or even the battle. The point is lay down our arms and discover common ground. Stuff like, Do Unto Others as You Would Have Others Do Unto You. Or, Don't Do Unto Others What You Don't Want Others Doing to You. (10 bonus points if you can tell me which one is more enlightened. Oh wait, that's inviting another debate.)
Is compassion easy? Nope. Not for a gal whose playground was a battle ground, for whom sharp sarcasm was a shiny toy.
Having a baby nearly cured me of sarcasm. Babies don't get sarcasm. I had to learn to speak differently if I wanted to communicate with my child.
Now that he's fifteen, he thinks it's a hoot when an insult shoots out of my mouth like a thunderbolt on a sunny day. I need to look elsewhere to continue my education in compassion. Armstrong's book points out other little tips I ought to learn sooner than later. For instance, she suggests that religious fundamentalists don't like it when you make fun of them. It only makes them more fundamental. So much for my plan for my sister and I to visit the Genesis museum wearing a Phil Collins t-shirts.
See? After walking Karen Armstrong's twelve steps, I know I still have a long way to go. Making peace is not for wimps. It's hard work!
Here's a link to my essay inspired, in part, from Karen Armstrong: http://www.mslabrat.com/?p=68
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Feb 12, 2012 William rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: spirituality, religion, 21-ce, nonfiction

I liked this book a lot. In it religious historian Karen Armstrong suggests a series of simple and easily achieved mental exercises that can help one increase one's capacity for compassion. Armstrong offers justification for these exercises by way of copious examples from the history of religion. Some of the examples I was familiar with from her longer and more detailed The Great Transformation, about religious development during what is known as the Axial Age (900-200 BC), though the impetus he...more

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May 14, 2012 Laura Lee rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: discovered-on-npr, favorite-authors

What a wonderful message! I learned a great deal about the true concept of compassion; Karen Armstrong spends time describing the central tenet of the Golden Rule and how it actually appears in all major religious traditions, rather than just telling us to to be nice to people. It seemed like a special emphasis was placed on Buddhism and Christianity, but that was fine by me; the Buddha and Jesus Christ were the two religious figures who spoke most explicitly about the Golden Rule as we know it....more

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Mar 28, 2013 Judy Croome rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone

A well-structured and systematic programme encouraging people of all faiths to practice conscious compassion in the same way we would learn any new skill. Armstrong’s belief that humanity has an innate capacity for goodness, which can override the baser instincts of the “crocodile brain” is reassuring. Her twelve steps provide a simple enough guide and, based on Socratic dialogue, ask questions that challenge the reader’s known perceptions.

Containing what seems like common sense to people who h...more

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Feb 14, 2013 Karen rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: faith

As thorough and well presented as the rest of Karen Armstrong's work, this is in many ways the practical application of her conclusions following the years of in- depth investigation into the major faiths of the world. The central message is simple - the Golden Rule (love your neighbour as yourself) is the key to the good life but we need to take steps to apply it thoroughly in our lives. It was occasionally presented as rocket science when thinking people of faith are quite capable of reaching...more

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Oct 28, 2012 Benjaminxjackson rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

My karate dojo is reading this book as a group to learn about compassion and to expand out training beyond punching and kicking. We plan to tackle a chapter a month, though I have read the whole book in keeping with the author's suggestion and will go through each step along with the rest of the dojo.

It is a thought-provoking book that has led me to try to look at people and events in my world in a different way. I try to think about approaching situations from a position of compassion rather t...more My karate dojo is reading this book as a group to learn about compassion and to expand out training beyond punching and kicking. We plan to tackle a chapter a month, though I have read the whole book in keeping with the author's suggestion and will go through each step along with the rest of the dojo.

It is a thought-provoking book that has led me to try to look at people and events in my world in a different way. I try to think about approaching situations from a position of compassion rather than aggression or dispassion.

The author of the book, Karen Armstrong, perhaps by design raises more questions than she answers. Compassion is never strictly defined. So, there are points in the book where compassion seems to be identical to politeness or doing a good deed. I don't think this is exactly compassion. I think that there needs to be an element of commitment of one's personal power, or resource to be in compassion.

There are aspects to the book that I think are interesting from a philosophical point of view, though I don't know that they matter to the overall message.

First, she talks about Socratic dialogue being a compassionate tool and says that Socrates was compassionate with those he spoke with. Yet, Socrates was put to death as a result of how he treated others when speaking with them and dismantling their arguments. Anytus in "Meno" unlikely found Socrates compassionate.

Second, I don't think that Armstrong gives Western civilization enough credit for Compassion. Compassionate organizations such as the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, and hundreds of others grew from the Western notion of the importance of the individual. I understand Armstrong's desire to promote cross-cultural understanding, but I think she misses some important examples of compassion in that emphasis.

I have a few other quibbles (for instance, I think she takes an unjustified swipe at E.O. Wilson), but overall I think this is a worthwhile read for anyone who is interested in living a life that includes concern for other people across the planet and for those trying to develop a broader sense of the interconnectedness of people. (less)

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Sep 24, 2012 D'face rated it 4 of 5 stars

I picked up this book because I was going to attend a talk on 12-step programs. Well this book isn't really about 12-step programs in the AA sense, but it does provide 12 steps toward becoming more compassionate. Having picked up the book I started to see references to both the book and Karen Armstrong all around the place - I love when that happens!

Anyway the twelve steps for those too frantic to go and find out for themselves are:
- Learn about compassion
- Look at your own world
- Compassion for...more

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May 29, 2012 Erika RS rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is yet another book that is good but disappointing because it did not live up to my expectations.

I am a big fan of Karen Armstrong. Although she is selective in what she chooses to focus on in her writing, she is still, in my opinion, one of the best religious historians when it comes to writing books that are readable, compassionate, intellectually challenging, and jam packed with information.

_Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life_ is, quite intentionally, a very different type of book. It...more This is yet another book that is good but disappointing because it did not live up to my expectations.

I am a big fan of Karen Armstrong. Although she is selective in what she chooses to focus on in her writing, she is still, in my opinion, one of the best religious historians when it comes to writing books that are readable, compassionate, intellectually challenging, and jam packed with information.

_Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life_ is, quite intentionally, a very different type of book. It is supposed to be a guide to implementing the ideas in the Charter for Compassion [1] championed by Armstrong. However, Armstrong, the religious historian, seems to have a difficult time communicating the practical.

The book is full of great elements that just don't quite add up to a coherent text. In ~200 pages, Armstrong tries to cover a survey of compassion in different religious traditions, a philosophical discussion of what compassion is and why it is necessary, and a practical plan for increasing the compassion in your life. These threads all get jumbled up, and that makes it hard to pull the value from that book.

In what is both disappointing and supportive of the book's overall value, a lot of the problems were merely organizational. A strong editor who encouraged the use of things like section breaks and parallel structure could have transformed this from an average book to a great book.

All that said, the real value of this book is in practice, not intellectual assent. Armstrong's steps, if applied with appropriate effort, do seem like they would result in a more compassionate self.

The steps do not stand on their own, but for completeness I will list them anyway. Note that some of the steps are sequential while others are not -- this was one of my organizational quibbles with the book (also, the very names of the steps show how much the book could have been improved by an editor with an eye for structure and consistency). The steps: (1) learn about compassion, (2) look at your own world, (3) compassion for yourself, (4) empathy, (5) mindfulness, (6) action, (7) how little we know, (8) how should we speak to one another?, (9) concern for everybody, (10) knowledge, (11) recognition, (12) love your enemies.

And now, it's time to go apply some compassion!

[1] http://charterforcompassion.org/share...(less)

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Feb 15, 2012 Edward rated it 4 of 5 stars

I accidentally saw this book by Karen Armstrong on my local library shelf, and having been impressed by half a dozen of her other books on religion, I decided to read it. The title, of course, suggests the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous in which each step builds on the preceding ones. AA’s goal is to overcome the destructive addiction of alcoholism, and while I suppose one could say that a lack of compassion – indifference? hatred? – is “addictive” as well, and while Armstrong does...more I accidentally saw this book by Karen Armstrong on my local library shelf, and having been impressed by half a dozen of her other books on religion, I decided to read it. The title, of course, suggests the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous in which each step builds on the preceding ones. AA’s goal is to overcome the destructive addiction of alcoholism, and while I suppose one could say that a lack of compassion – indifference? hatred? – is “addictive” as well, and while Armstrong does offer some suggestions to develop a sense of compassion, she stresses more, I think, the religious and cultural context which call for compassion.

She writes that all the great religions, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism,, and even the philosophical rationalism that developed in Greece agree on the necessity of “treating others as you would like to be treated”, or phrased differently, “do not treat others as you would not like them to treat you.” All of these religions represent an evolutionary advance over the primitive reptilian brain which thinks only of itself in survival terms of fornicating, feeding, fighting, and fleeing, the “four F’s”. It’s called a “reptilian” brain for good reason as it’s cold-blooded and self-centered. In contrast is a “warm-blooded” response which thinks of others, something that begins with a equally natural instinct to provide and look after another, a child, an offspring.

This second instinct, she proposes, is one that can be expanded and developed through various ways, none of them easy, one of the main ones being an attempt to understand those who seem opposed to your wishes. This begins with understanding yourself, an ongoing struggle as exemplified by the Hebrew myth (all of the religions are considered mythically) of Jacob wresting with Esau, contending with his shadow self, those tendencies within him that represent the old reptilian values. From there, she develops various methods of developing the kind of openness that leads to empathy and compassion.

This part of the book is a little like a laundry list of virtues , not to say that any of her suggestions are invalid in themselves , but they tend to pile up, much as Polonius’ advice to Hamlet to be true to himself goes on and on, as if one could remember all of them. But in defense of Armstrong, I suppose she would say that repetition of ideas is necessary if the good actions that should flow from them are to succeed.

A couple of passages that I thought were very effective in making her point. She would better translate the Buddhist notion of existence as suffering as existence meaning that things always go awry. And in that great story of things going awry in the worst way possible (war), Homer’s ILIAD, the senseless slaughter and deaths of human being, is interrupted by the scene in the middle of the war where the two enemies, Priam and Achilles, come to a mutual sense of understanding, even compassion for one another in the madness which has caught up both of them.

This scene leads to her conclusion that violence and war (not that she is a pacifist as she would grant that war is sometimes necessary but should be fought carefully and regretfully) accomplish very little as they inevitably provoke a backlash of more violence and mayhem, the opposite results of a truly compassionate approach which is more effective in disarming your enemy.
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Jul 28, 2011 Mike Smith rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

This book is a companion to the Charter for Compassion initiative, which author Karen Armstrong began after receiving a TED award (see http://charterforcompassion.org/site/). The aim of the initiative and the book is to get everyone to follow the Golden Rule, which is a key doctrine in all major world religions. It can be expressed in two ways: treat others the way you want others to treat you, and don't treat others in a way that you wouldn't want to be treated yourself.

The book lays out twelve...more

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May 06, 2013 Charlotte rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: spiritual-ethics

This book has been the study book for a group of women I know who study together books related to peace and spirituality.The author, Karen Armstrong has written a number of books on religion, one of which is a very scholarly book called The History of God. In 2007, Karen was awarded a $100,000 prize from a group called TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) a nonprofit who award people whom they think have made a difference, but who, with their help, could make more of an impact. Karen felt tha...more

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Apr 03, 2012 Jason rated it 5 of 5 stars

Every major religious tradition in the world contains some version of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you, or, more simply, Treat other people as you want to be treated. We're all familiar with the saying, but how often do we see the Golden Rule in action?

When Karen Armstrong, whose expertise is in comparative religion, received a TED grant to develop an "idea worth spreading", her thoughts turned to this simple idea.

The title is a bit disarming. Those expecting a sac...more

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May 25, 2011 David Glasgow rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: theology-spirituality, nonfiction

Karen Armstrong loves religious history, which is an invaluable trait for the author of a history textbook. Unfortunately what she's tried to write here is a self-help/devotional book, and the skill sets don't quite match up.

Good, true, and valuable pointers for compassionate living abound in this book. But to get to these gems I found myself slogging through example after example from diverse religious traditions and time periods that, while neither technically irrelevant nor wholly uninteresti...more

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Mar 11, 2013 Sistermagpie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, religion-philosophy

I read this book because it came across my desk at work and I'd enjoyed Karen Armstrong's books in the past. It's a bit different form other books of hers that I'd read--less religious history and more an in-depth study of compassion. That's not to say it lacks Armstrong's usual religious focus. She looks at the development of civilizations, often showing how and when the idea of compassion appeared to combat the usual tribal mindset and she makes a good, logical case for why these days that tri...more

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Jan 21, 2013 Lacey Louwagie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, religion, self-help, theology

Yup, I gave this one five stars, even though it's a bit of a heavy read and can get a little dry at times (i.e.: I caught my mind wandering once or twice). Still, the values it promotes of tolerance, compassion, appreciation for the diversity of our experience, are ones I can totally get behind. Not only that, but it lays out a specific plan for cultivating these traits in yourself and in your expression, interwoven with stories and insight from the great religions and mythology throughout the w...more

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Mar 24, 2012 AJW rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: spiritual

I could point out the things I disagreed with in this book, but in the spirit of compassion as advocated by this book, I'd rather point out the things I liked. I liked the generosity of spirit in which Karen Armstrong writes. I liked learning about religious traditions other than my own. I liked Karen Armstrong overall argument that true religion is actually about increasing our ability to love and control the destructive parts of our makeup. So many unthinking people have a knee jerk reaction o...more

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Feb 08, 2011 Christina rated it 3 of 5 stars

Karen Armstrong is an intellectual theologian, with past experience as a Catholic nun. The Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life book heavily references Eastern philosophical and religious tradition, no doubt as one Eastern religious tradition's fundamentalist renegade group is in current conflict with some Western industrial superpower nations. Armstrong enumerates and describes each of the twelve steps toward a compassionate life imagining her audience is of primarily Western civilization and f...more

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Dec 03, 2010 Sharon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: spirituality

Karen Armstrong's latest work, "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life," is a fascinating look at concepts of compassion across all of the world's major faiths -- and includes the concept that one need not be religious in order to have a compassionate viewpoint (something that many religious writers nowadays seem to ignore).

Armstrong starts with an overview of compassion as discussed in various religious writings from around the world and then shows twelve ways to incorporate the practice of compa...more

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May 08, 2011 Sue Smith rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-read-in-2011

Well, after taking my time to come back to set down afew thoughts about this book I'm finding it hard to put into words - thought provoking, meaningful, incisive, carefully and deliberately structured words. It's not that the book doesn't invoke them, it's just that I can probably sum it up in a couple of sentences and that just seems - well - unjust.

However, that being the case, it pretty much sums up the book. It's an awful lot of words that really didn't need to be in a book format when much...more Well, after taking my time to come back to set down afew thoughts about this book I'm finding it hard to put into words - thought provoking, meaningful, incisive, carefully and deliberately structured words. It's not that the book doesn't invoke them, it's just that I can probably sum it up in a couple of sentences and that just seems - well - unjust.

However, that being the case, it pretty much sums up the book. It's an awful lot of words that really didn't need to be in a book format when much fewer words would have sufficed. Or, at least, it should have been retitled to indicate the truth of the book, as it read more like a historical investigation into the concept of compassion as opposed to a 12 step handy guide to how to apply principles to become more compassionate. Personal pet peeve, that.

Don't get me wrong here, I trully believe that many wrongs can be righted and many misunderstandings can be avoided by the simple act of compassion. If more parents understood the philosophy behind it and then taught the basic tenets to their offspring, the world would be a peaceful place to live in and we wouldn't live with the constant worry of being annihilated. Unfortuately, compassion in our world doesn't have a firm footing and common sense isn't so common. And we live in a world where there's too much finger pointing at everyone else being the cause of the grief instead of looking within ourselves to stop the madness.

Because the interesting thing about compassion is that it starts within ourselves. The underlying premise of it is to treat others how you would like to be treated. It's the basic foundation of ALL religions but it's a life style that all people can follow - religious or not. You don't have to be a firm religious individual to think whether or not you would like it if someone treated you like a dope, or like you're second class, or with disdain. Or if you like to be cheated from something, or ignored or physically hurt. Ultimately, religion has nothing to do with it. It's not WWJD it's What Would I Do? How Would I Feel? A much easier philosophy to grasp in our 'me first' western world.

So the concept of the book is great. It's really about understanding that everyone can make a difference simply by stopping and thinking first before action. Small steps. But a pebble thrown in a pond has a ripple effect and actions do too. My other favorite part of the 'steps' was the call to become aware that other's percieved differences are only because you don't know the whole story. So make yourself aware. Educate yourself. There's always two sides to a story. And that's a premise that fits mankind, beyond the confines of religion and race.(less)

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Feb 14, 2011 Pamela rated it 4 of 5 stars

What is the best part of being human? The ability to be compassionate. How does one become compassionate? One studies the Golden Rule and practices its precepts. This, then, sums up Karen Armstrong’s latest book, “Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life.”

According to Armstrong, the first step toward living a compassionate life is to “learn about compassion.” The twelfth step is “loving your enemies.” As can easily be seen, this is no easy task by any stretch of the imagination. It doesn’t happen ov...more

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Jul 07, 2012 Scott rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: religion, psychology

This book provides a survey of compassion through the lenses of Daoism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam while offering twelve concrete and challenging steps to ground us in the spiritual practice of compassion. These steps are anchored in the Buddha's meditation on the four immeasurable minds of love, and each step either builds upon this meditation or offers complimentary exercises to strengthen your practice.

Compassion is a skill that we need to practice in order to achieve fitness...more

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Apr 11, 2011 Lon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Karen Armstrong brings to bear her sensibilities as a religious historian in this book. Don't mistake it for a new-agey self-help treatment of the subject of compassion; she dissects the subject like a scientist more than a sage. No holding hands around the campfire and singing Kumbayah. She turns to neuroscience to explain how we are hardwired for compassion--just as we are hardwired with the capacity for aggression--and identifies the biological imperatives for both self-preservation and empat...more Karen Armstrong brings to bear her sensibilities as a religious historian in this book. Don't mistake it for a new-agey self-help treatment of the subject of compassion; she dissects the subject like a scientist more than a sage. No holding hands around the campfire and singing Kumbayah. She turns to neuroscience to explain how we are hardwired for compassion--just as we are hardwired with the capacity for aggression--and identifies the biological imperatives for both self-preservation and empathy-fueled altruism.

She identifies the Golden Rule as the common thread running through all the major religions and calls for greater emphasis on compassion among devotees of the various faiths. In fact, while acknowledging that every religion has a history besmirched with violence, and that sometimes that violence was supposedly justified or rationalized through scripture, she posits that any interpretation of scriptures that justifies violence or mistreatment of others should be seen as illegitimate. Here's where her understanding of the three Abrahamic faiths comes in handy: she can disabuse us of the notion that Islam is inherently violent. She contextualizes the Koran well and also points out the many references that promote peace and compassion and non violence. Mohammed was way ahead of his time, in fact, by rejecting the tribalism that typified Arab culture. She looks at modern-day tribalism too, in the guise of politics, nationalism, and religious intolerance and the demonization of others. She laments that everyone doesn't learn about the traditions of others and find in them much that is good. Just as intellectual humility is a necessary ingredient to learning, a religious stance that other faiths have something admirable to offer can yield greater insights into one's own tradition. No where does Armstrong denigrate religious people, but she does inveigh against the fundamentalistic tendency to shout "I'm right, therefore you are all wrong and have nothing to offer."

A perfect encapsulation of my personal feelings about the beneficial role of doubt, and intellectual humility comes in one of the chapters on developing compassion by assuming we don't know everything. Since it's a library book, and I can't preserve these insights with highlighting, I've typed them to save for future consideration. Here I paste them in:

"The people who came to see Socrates usually thought that they knew what they were talking about, but after half an hour of his relentless questioning they discovered that they knew nothing at all about such basic issues as justice or courage. They felt perplexed, like bewildered children; the intellectual and moral foundations of their lives had been radically undermined, and they experienced a frightening, vertiginous doubt. For Socrates, that was the moment when a person became a philosopher, a "lover of wisdom," because he had become aware that he longed for greater insight, knew he did not have it, but would henceforth seek it as ardently as a lover pursues his beloved. . . .
"Socrates used to describe himself as a gadfly, stinging people to question every one of their ideas, especially those about which they felt certainty, so that they could wake up to a more accurate perception of themselves. Even though he was conversing with Socrates and others, each participant was also engaged in a dialogue with himself, subjecting his own deeply held opinions to rigorous scrutiny before, finally, as a result of the ruthless logic of Socrates' questioning, relinquishing them. You entered into a Socratic dialogue in order to change; the object of the exercise was to create a new, more authentic self. After they had realized that some of their deepest convictions were based on faulty foundations, Socrates' disciples could begin to live in a philosophical manner. But if they did not interrogate their most fundamental beliefs, they would live superficial, expedient lives, because "the unexamined life is not worth living." (Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, p.119-121)
How do we account for the aggressive drives as well as the capacity for compassionate? Armstrong cites neuro-scientific research to shed some light on the question:

The "old brain" or reptilian brain provided mechanisms for our survival "that neuroscientists have called the "Four F's": feeding, fighting, fleeing, and--for want of a more basic word--reproduction. These drives fanned out into fast-acting systems, alerting reptiles to compete pitilessly for food, to ward off any threat, to dominate their territory, seek a place of safety, and perpetuate their genes." These are neurological systems "located in the hypothalamus at the base of the brain, and it is thanks to them that are species survived. . . . Over the millennia, however, human beings also evolved a "new brain," the neocortex, home of the reasoning powers that enable us to reflect on the world and on ourselves, and to stan back from these instinctive, primitive passions.

"neuroscientists suggest that the "positive emotions of compassion, joy, serenity, and maternal affection did not emanate from the hypothalamus . . . but from the limbic system." Later refinements, suggested the dichotomy between the left and right brains. The right brain "emotes, weeps, responds to symbolism, and is the home of art, music, and the "softer," more "pliable" emotions. We are hardwired for compassion as well as for cruelty."

An interesting note. I thought this was really cool! Brains and Birth canals.
"The arrival of warm-blooded mammals led to the evolution of a brain that was able to care for others and thus help to ensure the survival of their young. At first this care was rudimentary and automatic; but over millennia, mammals began to build nests for their infants and learned to behave in a way that would ensure their health and development. For the first time, sentient beings were developing the capacity to protect, nurture, and nourish a creature other than themselves. Over millions of years, this strategy proved so successful in establishing genetic lineages that it led to the evolution of still more complex brain systems. The process seems to have been symbiotic. In order to accommodate these new skills, the brains of mammals got bigger; this meant that increasingly their young had to be born prematurely so that they could pass through the birth canal; the infants were, therefore, helpless and need the support, care, and protection not only of their parents but of the entire community. This was especially true of Homo sapiens, which had evolved an enormous brain. because his mother had no fur, the human baby could not cling to her; instead, she had to clasp and carry him for hours at a time, subordinating her own hunger, needs, and desires to his in a process that was no longer automatic but emotionally motivated and, to a degree, voluntary. But parental affection ensured the survival of the species, helped the young to thrive, and taught humans to develop other alliances and friendships that were extremely useful in the struggle for survival. Gradually they developed the capacity for altruism.
"When animals are not warding off threats or engrossed in the quest for food, they relax and become content. A soothing regulatory system takes over, balancing the systems that control the response to threat and hunger, so that they can take time out and allow their bodies to repaire themselves. It used to be thought that this quiescence was simply the result of the more aggressive drives zoning out, but is has now been found that this physical relaxation is also accompanied in both mammals and humans by profound and positive feelings of peace, security, and well-being. Produced initially by maternal soothing, these emotions are activated by such hormones as oxytocin, which induces a sense of closeness to others and plays a crucial role in the development of parental attachment. When human beings entered this peaceful state of mind, they were liberated from anxiety and could, therefore, think more clearly and have fresh insights; as they acquired new skills and had more leisure, some sought to reproduce this serenity in activities, disciplines, and rituals that were found to induce it." (Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, p. 17-19)
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Sep 09, 2011 Elisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

Armstrong viittaa useisiin uskontoihin tässä kirjassa, mutta ei nosta mitään niistä ylitse muiden, vaan lähestymistapa on maanläheinen ja holistinen. Pohdin ensin tarttuako tähän kirjaan lainkaan, hmm, korniuden pelossa ehkä, mutta lopulta luin melko nautiskellen. Kirjoittaja keskittää huomion olennaiseen, siihen mikä monia katsomuksia yhdistää. Jäin pohtimaan useita juttuja, enkä pitänyt mitään osiota perusteettomana tai kieltäkään kliseisenä. Suomennos on hyvä. Jos on kiinnostunut kyseenalaist...more

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Jan 20, 2011 Jaci rated it 4 of 5 stars

Karen Armstrong advocates for expanding our sense of compassion for others in a short, succinct, heavily researched and documented 12-step program. Karen left religious orders and has focused on religion from a nondenominational viewpoint, culminating in the Charter for Compassion (www.charterforcompassion.org).
p.23: "But it is important to say that the twelve-step program does not depend on supernatural or credal convictions."
p.105: "As we practice the Immeasurables, we are bound to become awar...more

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Oct 27, 2011 Matthew Hunter rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: religion-spirituality

I love Karen Armstrong. Her initiatives surrounding the Charter of Compassion and building compassionate cities are very important. If you're looking for 12 easy, cut and dry steps to follow to become a better person, then this book is not for you. But if you're interested in embarking on extensive study and a lovingkindness meditation practice - in other words, take a longer view of personal and world transformation - then you might find the book helpful. Armstrong's teachings on the importance...more

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Jul 28, 2011 Shirley Freeman added it · review of another edition

Usually Armstrong's books are pretty dense and erudite but this one was quite readable. Her thesis is that all of the world's major religions have compassion as a core belief and that the practice of compassion is paramount for improving the world. She also recognizes that compassion is a discipline which requires much practice. She won a TED prize for her work in this area. In this book she outlines twelve practical steps for becoming more compassionate people. She uses stories from the major r...more

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Jun 26, 2011 Jessica rated it 1 of 5 stars

I tried to listen to this cd, but did not succeed, during a long road trip. I couldn't make it through the first cd. From almost the beginning the author was pompous in tone and presentation, such as how DARE anyone take into account both the good and the bad of individuals like Mother Theresa or Martin Luther King Jr? Then when she talked about the artist's intent for those who painted in the caves in Lascoux as though it were fact, I couldn't continue. Unless you have a time machine there is n...more

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Aug 24, 2011 Joan rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book contains a series of exercises that one works on in sequence, at least initially, in order to become more compassionate. The author includes additional information from neurobiology, theology, history and mythology (among others) in explanation of transformation that is the goal of the exercises.

The audio book version proceeded too quickly. I needed to stop and turn it off to reflect. I'm glad that I know about the book because I'm thinking it will be a good resource to return to again...more

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Mar 07, 2011 Scott Lupo rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

Well, I picked this book after hearing the author on a TED video speaking about the Golden Rule. Specifically, how to change the Golden Rule from the usual "Do unto others" to "Do not do to others what you wouldn't want done to you." There are many religious examples and overtones (all types of religions by the way) and her message is extremely thoughtful, inspiring, and relevant in today's global climate. I am not a religious person at all but I found her thoughts on compassion (or lack thereof...more

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Dec 17, 2011 Anna rated it 4 of 5 stars

I wish there was more compassion and empathy in the world. I wish that everyone was governed by the golden rule. Why don't people treat other people as they believe they should be treated? I try, every day, to look at the world this way. Sadly, it also makes me cranky, frustrated and makes my pulse race (just by watching the news), i.e. I fail. Karen Armstrong believes the world would be a better place if we had more compassion although she comes at it from the point of view of a religious histo...more I wish there was more compassion and empathy in the world. I wish that everyone was governed by the golden rule. Why don't people treat other people as they believe they should be treated? I try, every day, to look at the world this way. Sadly, it also makes me cranky, frustrated and makes my pulse race (just by watching the news), i.e. I fail. Karen Armstrong believes the world would be a better place if we had more compassion although she comes at it from the point of view of a religious historian (if that is the right term). I really liked this book a lot.

Armstrong believes that the first step to leading a more compassionate life is to learn about it, and I confess, I found this chapter on religion a bit of a struggle. I'm not terribly interested in religion (yep, there's a flaw right there!). The next step is to look at your own world beginning with your family and how this is where we learn to live with other people. You should also look at your workplace (that's a lot easier if I look at my colleagues; those public hearings last week on cutting benefits to poor people lead one to wonder where on earth some people's compassion is - not the poor people but the ones listening and proposing). She also tells you to look at your country and how that has contributed to the good of the world (oh goodness, please don't make me do this - at least not the one I live in now). She argues that it is critical to educate young people in the compassionate ethos. Hear, hear, is all I have to say to that (although obviously I've done nothing to contribute to that).

The next step is to learn compassion for yourself. I was really interested in the interpretation of "Love your neighbor as yourself" as I have always struggled with the terminology of that. Seeing it as self knowledge and compassion is a bit of a revelation and much more useful to me.

Then next step is empathy. Pain is an education in compassion. Turn good thoughts into small practical acts of friendship and compassion each day. This includes an enemy. Hmm. Then comes mindfulness and it gets harder. We must work to get more control over our minds to reverse ingrained tendencies and cultivate new ones. Mentally stand back and observe our behaviour while engaged in the normal process of living to discover how we interact with people, what makes us angry, how to analyze our experience and pay attention to the present moment. The purpose is to channel thoughts more creatively.

The next step is action. Acts of kindness. Make a resolution in accordance with a positive version of the golden rule - actually do something, the little nameless and unremembered acts of kindness. Three acts every day. Also the negative version - do not do what you would not want done to you. The next step: understand how little we know.

The next step is about dialogue and how we speak to one another. Our discourse tends to be aggressive, to marshall arguments and to win. Nobody is supposed to change their mind or enter empathetically into the rival viewpoint. Socrates invented dialogue as a communal meditation that involves real listening. Do we want to win an argument or seek the truth? I should work on this! I need to work on this. I have to say, that recently, I've had a very hard time being empathetic about the rival viewpoint. One of my friends gave me the useful expression of "compassion hairball" when you just can't. It's the lack of compassion that many people today have for others (i.e. poor people) that I just can't stomach and I just don't understand it.

The next step is concern for everybody. The step after that is knowledge and getting to know one another. I like the idea in this chapter of choosing something you are interested in (e.g. a country) and reading articles, novels or watching movies regularly about that something - the idea is making room for the other. I like it! But I have enough interests already!! The 11th step is recognition - of the pain of others. The last step is to love your enemies. Learn the wisdom of restraint toward the enemy. Once again the "love" is pledging to be helpful and loyal and give each other practical assistance and support, even if it goes against the short term interest.

Armstrong concludes by saying that learning to be fully compassionate is hard and we can only try over and over to get there. I'm a bit obsessed at the moment with the lack of compassionate in the world but I should try harder to be more compassionate in my own personal life.(less)

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