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I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.
by
Jarod Kintz (Goodreads Author)
Jarod Kintz was born in Salt Lake City to a family of five. One father, and four mothers. Jarod moved around a lot as a kid, but eventually ended up in the middle bedroom. Being an only child, Jarod has been known to tell people, “I’m genetically half non-existent, on my brother’s side.”
Well, enough about me, let me tell you about my work. Actually, I'll let it speak for...more
Well, enough about me, let me tell you about my work. Actually, I'll let it speak for...more
Kindle Edition
Published
(first published June 30th 2010)
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You used to think sitting in a corner doodling was fun? Well, that's nothing compared to downing Irish car bombs while someone read you, "I Want to Apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and wear a suit and noose to the job interview."
I actually am using paraphrased quotes from this book of genius to write up Yahoo answers pages - where idiots are paying me hundreds of USD.
go figure.
But hey, don't trust my word. Buy this book and a few Guinnesses, and see for yourself.
I actually am using paraphrased quotes from this book of genius to write up Yahoo answers pages - where idiots are paying me hundreds of USD.
go figure.
But hey, don't trust my word. Buy this book and a few Guinnesses, and see for yourself.
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This is it, this is my biography. The story of Jarod Kintz begins now.
Let’s knock out the trivial first. I was born in Salt Lake City on March 5th. Now that you know my birthday, please feel free to get me birthday presents. Notice how I used the plural, presents? More than one gift would be greatly appreciated. Appropriate gifts include gold coins, bars of silver, and large tracts of land (prefe...more
More about Jarod Kintz...
Let’s knock out the trivial first. I was born in Salt Lake City on March 5th. Now that you know my birthday, please feel free to get me birthday presents. Notice how I used the plural, presents? More than one gift would be greatly appreciated. Appropriate gifts include gold coins, bars of silver, and large tracts of land (prefe...more
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“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face.”
—
1,256 people liked it
“I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.”
—
483 people liked it
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