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ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer
Through the best-selling ScreamFree Parenting, Hal Runkel showed thousands of parents how keeping their cool can revolutionize their family life. In his groundbreaking new book, ScreamFree Marriage, Runkel now shows couples how learning to stay calm, in the face of common marital conflicts, is the key to creating and enjoying a deep, lifelong connection.
Every committed cou...more
Every committed cou...more
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published
February 1st 2011
by Harmony
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Ergh. I am glad I finally trudged through this book and finished it. This was recommended by my mental health counselor supervisor, along with the other book in the series, Screamfree Parenting. I have to say the same thing here as I did for that particular review. There is nothing new here. All that happens here is the theories of old are put in layman's terms and then dumbed down even further. I appreciate what this guy and his institute are doing and I respect him for his experience and obvio...more
The first thing you need to do is get over the title of this book. Not having read Runkel's previous book, Screamfree Parenting, I thought this title didn't make sense and was mostly piggybacking on his catchphrase. That being said, this book has terrific advice on marriage that I wish I had known years ago.
Here are some traditionally-held ideas about marriage which he refutes:
1. Spouses are supposed to meet each other's needs. (What he says; spouses do not, and should not, need each other. They...more
Here are some traditionally-held ideas about marriage which he refutes:
1. Spouses are supposed to meet each other's needs. (What he says; spouses do not, and should not, need each other. They...more
Finally, a marriage book that:
1. Doesn't treat me like a child! (And expects me not to treat my spouse like one either.)
2. Doesn't make generalizations about my spouse or about me. THANK YOU!
3. Doesn't talk about sex as if one of us needs it and one of us owes it and that is all there is. And doesn't pretend to know it all or be able to answer it all in one chapter.
4. Doesn't try to make me feel good by telling about all sorts of horrible marriage decisions "other people" make but instead empowe...more
1. Doesn't treat me like a child! (And expects me not to treat my spouse like one either.)
2. Doesn't make generalizations about my spouse or about me. THANK YOU!
3. Doesn't talk about sex as if one of us needs it and one of us owes it and that is all there is. And doesn't pretend to know it all or be able to answer it all in one chapter.
4. Doesn't try to make me feel good by telling about all sorts of horrible marriage decisions "other people" make but instead empowe...more
I liked this book quite a lot. (although I still think the "scream free" title is a cheesy marketing technique.) The advice was basically: to have a great marriage you need to grow up, forgive, and ask what you can do to make yourself happy, instead of what your spouse can do for you. Reminds me of the prinicples in "The Bonds that Make us Free" by Terry Warner and "Leadership and Self Deception" by the Arbinger Institute. Also reminded me of what I learned in my church marriage improvement clas...more
Friend said it was great - sent pages and pages of notes - read through and decided to check out the book as well.
"Screaming" is his catch all phrase for any emotional reactivity. Not, literally, screaming.
If you want to skip most of the book, the Appendix's in the back cover most of it in short form. The book itself has some great points, though there's extra text thrown in there to pad out what would otherwise be a book half the size. He repeats his points a lot - which would work out fine in...more
"Screaming" is his catch all phrase for any emotional reactivity. Not, literally, screaming.
If you want to skip most of the book, the Appendix's in the back cover most of it in short form. The book itself has some great points, though there's extra text thrown in there to pad out what would otherwise be a book half the size. He repeats his points a lot - which would work out fine in...more
Jan 09, 2012
Kelly
marked it as to-read
Haven't read it yet, but I really enjoyed his ScreamFree Parenting book. I'm pretty sure this book has been renamed to SELF-Centered Marriage. The "ScreamFree marriage" doesn't really feel good as a title, if he's wanting people who aren't into screaming at one another to pick up & read!
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I read this book primarily because it was written by an old friend of my husband's (not that I couldn't use the advice), so I'm not exactly impartial. However, it does a good job of debunking some hokey marriage/relationship cliches and focusing on self-improvement as the primary way to grow in your relationship.
I listened to this book on CD. It might be easier to get through it listening to it rather than reading it. I appreciated the different view than most marriage books use. I think the principles can be used for any close relationship not just spouse to spouse.
Okay, I know what your thinking... No, our marriage is not in trouble. I just wish Runkel wouldn't have named his book, "ScreamFree Marriage." Thanks for the stigma, Hal.
My wife and I recently watched the movie, "Barney's Version," which is about a proud idiot who messes up his life and his marriage along the way. After watching it, I started to wonder how my own irrascibility works in our partnership.
To friends, take this recommendation not as a call for help. I believe the best time to work...more
My wife and I recently watched the movie, "Barney's Version," which is about a proud idiot who messes up his life and his marriage along the way. After watching it, I started to wonder how my own irrascibility works in our partnership.
To friends, take this recommendation not as a call for help. I believe the best time to work...more
I didn't like the writing style..."is this hard for you to understand? it's okay, stick with me!" but the book did have some good ideas on how to take control of your emotions and work with a spouse.
I thought this was a very insightful book. As someone who is happily (and relatively newly) married, I think it will help me continue to be happily married. I would recommend this book to any married couple, experiencing problems or not.
Great book with some different thinking about marriage and relationships in general. Hal is funny, and clear, and he really believes and practices what he preaches. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and I'm working to try out and put into practice some of the great insights he brings to the table. Full disclosure, the author is a close friend of mine and one of my college roommates, but I think this makes this particular review more authentic.
Funny, modern and relevant. The author blends theory and practicality superbly. This book isn't preachy but does have a touch of Buddhist philosophy (probably not intended by the author but welcomed by this reader).
I thought this book nicely summed up some of the best marriage advice I've heard. His emphasis is on improving and worrying about yourself rather than trying to change your spouse. I didn't agree with everything he said but overall it was a good reminder to worry about improving yourself, not your spouse, and that the only person you can really control is yourself.
I really loved this book. I appreciated the author's wit, and that he shared examples that made sense. I will probably read it again someday.
This could be a game changer. So insightful and revolutionary that I'm contemplating buying it. Filled with home truths.
Simple and superb. Everyone married should read.
Jun 17, 2013
Svetlana Uster
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