Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl

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Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl

by Stacy Pershall (Goodreads Author)

3.91 of 5 stars 3.91 · rating details · 909 ratings · 118 reviews

Stacy Pershall grew up depressed and too smart for her own good, a deeply strange girl in Prairie Grove, Arkansas (population 1,000), where the prevailing wisdom was that Jesus healed all. From her days as a thirteen-year-old Jesus freak, through a battle with anorexia and bulimia, her first manic episode at eighteen, and the eventual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and bord...more

Hardcover, 232 pages

Published January 31st 2011 by W. W. Norton & Company (first published December 1st 2010)

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Sep 30, 2011 didaink rated it 5 of 5 stars

Rarely do I land upon a book that changes me as a mother... but, then came Loud in the House of Myself aka LITHOM.

As a mother of a girl who is already struggling with body image at age eight, who is also intensely emotional and creative, I found that it was initially excruciating to read the details of what this young girl experienced. Stacy as a child was just too familiar. I had to stop reading for a while because it was too painful to idly sit and watch this tormented young girl unravel under...more Rarely do I land upon a book that changes me as a mother... but, then came Loud in the House of Myself aka LITHOM.

As a mother of a girl who is already struggling with body image at age eight, who is also intensely emotional and creative, I found that it was initially excruciating to read the details of what this young girl experienced. Stacy as a child was just too familiar. I had to stop reading for a while because it was too painful to idly sit and watch this tormented young girl unravel under the watch of her Arkansan family in a town the size of a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Besides, the way I stumbled upon Stacy Pershall and her memoir was fortuitous. I went to Barnes & Noble in Little Rock that afternoon to buy only David Sedaris’ latest book and walked out holding a copy of LITHOM with “Strange Girl Army!” inscribed in pink ink, the author’s infectious smile and mural of colorful tattoos indelibly part of my experience in the South.

Here was my other problem but the reason I picked it back up: I loved the way Stacy wrote, her ability to paint the painful details of her childhood with such an honest, almost comical, stroke that I couldn’t stop caring about this little girl and how much she loved her mother and father. I fell in love with her one-of-a-kind quirks (the love for Hot Wheels instead of dolls, how she wanted to be Schroeder from Peanuts with a lit candle on her tiny toy piano, her love for Sugar Daddies, my all-time favorite candy from the 70’s).

She was smart and full of what I call “the sillies,” doing things her own unique way as a child, writing stories that showed her creativity, and in the beginning her mother accepted all of it… all of her eccentricities. She probably even celebrated them and laughed a little too loud about them like most every mother does who thinks her child is the cutest kid in the room.

But, as I continued to read, I grew angry with her mother, her father too, for their negligence in accepting their beautiful, artistic, tormented daughter as she got older, for ignoring what they, no doubt, had observed all along, for never even going along for moral support when she got a tattoo that held meaning for her when she reached adulthood -- just to hold her hand, if nothing else, even if they didn’t agree with it.

Then, it hit me. They had absolutely no tools by which to reach her. It was as if she had fallen into a well, calling out for her parents, but they didn’t have the right kind of flashlight to see her or the right rope ladder to pull her out, and she and they kept slipping off the rungs back into the dark.

There were no books like LITHOM in their world, or for that matter, on any bookshelf in the South, let alone Prairie Grove, Arkansas. There was no Amazon, no Goodreads… and even the almighty Oprah, who Stacy’s mother might have turned to at the time on the topic of eating disorders, was of no help either, Oprah herself obsessed with diets and fitting into her “skinny” jeans as American women cheered her on.

This book has changed me for the better, but I resisted it at first… because I was scared – scared to look too closely at things a mother doesn’t want to really see or confront. Had Stacy’s writing not been so rhythmic, so intelligent, so genuine, I would have stopped and gone back to reading David Sedaris for kicks after carpool, math homework and dirty dishes.

I now encourage mothers to read this book to better understand our girls and boys, to understand mental illness and our healthcare system better. We, their parents, need to seek out memoirs like Stacy’s and educate ourselves about things that are too painful most days to contemplate. When it’s too painful and we want to look away, that’s how we know that we need to keep reading. This is how we learn what type of ladder or flashlight we should have in our parenting tool shed. We may slip and fall until we find the right one, but then we just make another trip back to Home Depot or the closest Wal-Mart Supercenter in the great state of Arkansas.(less)

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Feb 19, 2011 Dustin Ebaugh rated it 5 of 5 stars

Intelligent, witty, brilliant, heartbreaking, hilarious, hard-to-fathom and hitting home too. If you grew up in a small town in the 80's and were/are even the least bit weird or quirky...this is one GREAT read! It's another one I read slowly, because it's that good. Pershall is an excellent wordsmith and captivating with her story. She's bold enough to not only "come out" with mental illness but do a great deal to help the reader understand it and remove the stigma associated with it. This book...more

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Feb 27, 2013 Christina rated it 4 of 5 stars

Loud in the House of Myself is an honest, riveting account of one young woman's spiral down into anorexia bulimia, with the later diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.

Stacy Pershall details in an unsentimental, harrowing fashion how absolutely logical it was for her to engage in eating and purging rituals depending on the hour of the day and whether she could fit into a certain pair of forest green pants.

Her salvation came with DBT or dialectical behavior therapy and body modification v...more

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Nov 20, 2012 Cindy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

Interesting autobiography of someone with borderline personality disorder. Here the reader gets a vivid glimpse inside everyday life for a person with this very misunderstood and stigmatized disorder. The author details how she went through all the usual issues that often plague people with BPD, including a multitude of disastrous relationships and breakups, trouble handling emotions of any kind, eating disorders and substance abuse, and a history of suicide attempts, including one attempt that...more

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Aug 20, 2012 Zoe rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012books, non-fiction

I'm more than a little embarrassed to admit that I've known Stacy for 10 years and only just finished reading her lovely memoir yesterday. My delay in reading her work is no indicator of its quality-- just a reflection of my own laziness and terrible reading habits.

That said, it was such a pleasure to read the final product after following Stacy's journey to get this memoir published. As a reader of her Livejournal, I was fortunate enough to read occasional excerpts of the book, along with her...more I'm more than a little embarrassed to admit that I've known Stacy for 10 years and only just finished reading her lovely memoir yesterday. My delay in reading her work is no indicator of its quality-- just a reflection of my own laziness and terrible reading habits.

That said, it was such a pleasure to read the final product after following Stacy's journey to get this memoir published. As a reader of her Livejournal, I was fortunate enough to read occasional excerpts of the book, along with her tales of frustration as she tried to find the right agent and publisher. I believe that everything she poured into this book completely pays off.

Stacy's memoir focuses on her youth in rural Arkansas, where she felt like an outcast for being bright, creative, and strange. She also developed an eating disorder and began to exhibit symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD), which continued to get worse in her teens and twenties. Stacy writes very frankly about how her mental illness impacted her education, her relationships, and her jobs. To say that her raw disclosure is brave is an understatement; it's also chillingly beautiful and desperately needed.

I think Stacy does a beautiful job explaining why her tattoos are so important to her, both as a way to process her pain and reclaim her body. Writing hateful things on herself in Sharpie and then locking herself in a closet was a common form of self-flagellation in her childhood and young adulthood; I love that she has reclaimed her skin as a space for art and affirmation, and I hope that her story inspires others to reconsider the meaning of body modification.

The other part of Stacy's story, which I think is only partially told in this memoir (but I hope she will continue to tell), is her struggle with the mental health care system. The lack of adequate mental health care in this country has led to some devastating news headlines in recent weeks, and people are only beginning to understand the crises faced by those who have untreated mental illness. One of the most relevant parts of the book comes near the end, when Stacy describes her feelings about getting her meds with insurance:

Here is how the psych med story tends to go. After either (a) much convincing or (b) no convincing at all, we crazies march ourselves into the pharmacy one day with a fresh prescription for potential sanity. Once there, we may or may not fork over hundreds of dollars for a month's supply of pink or orange or yellow pillows. If we're one of the lucky ones with health insurance, they hand over the bottle for little or no money, bestowing upon us a chance at getting better. If we're among the 46 million uninsured, well, though shit, we'll just have to be depressed (or suicidal, or homicidal, as the case may be). Having been uninsured for most of my adult life, I will always remember the day when, at age thirty-five, I handed my new insurance card across the country at Walgreen's and paid three dollars for a thirty-day supply of a drug that normally cost four hundred. I felt privileged, as if I had gained access to some exclusive club, then felt guilty for feeling privileged, then felt an overwhelming sense of relief, like for the first time in my life I could take a breath that went all the way to the bottom of my lungs. I found myself daydreaming about other doctors I could visit: the orthopedist, the audiologist, the gynecologist. Visions of annual pap smears danced in my head.

Maybe Stacy's next memoir will go into greater detail about her recovery process and the need for expanded insurance coverage. In the meantime, I know that many strange girls have been--and will be--saved by this book. I think Stacy has so much more to share with the world, and I'm truly grateful that, even though the journey has been daunting, she's still here.(less)

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Jun 03, 2012 Lisa rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone in the market for a mental health memoir with some actual health in it

Shelves: professional-reference

I picked this book up in an airport (I am forever searching for just the right thing to read on a plane) because the back of the book claimed that the author credited her current stability to Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a clinical methodology I find fascinating and pretty valid. I figured either it would be a helpful and interesting story of how a consumer of intensive mental health services experiences it, or a lurid, tabloid-y memoir of misery and abuse that would be a fine guilty pleasure f...more I picked this book up in an airport (I am forever searching for just the right thing to read on a plane) because the back of the book claimed that the author credited her current stability to Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a clinical methodology I find fascinating and pretty valid. I figured either it would be a helpful and interesting story of how a consumer of intensive mental health services experiences it, or a lurid, tabloid-y memoir of misery and abuse that would be a fine guilty pleasure for a long plane ride. It wasn't quite either. Ms. Pershall writes from a place of relative stability, describing her history with a critical eye, without a sense of entitlement and little over-dramatism. That was quite a relief. I thought a lot about how this book compared (quite positively) to Marya Hornbacher's first book, Wasted; a chronicle of similar difficulties but Hornbacher was still seeming quite mentally ill when she wrote the book, and had far less perspective. Ironically, I got to the end and the acknowledgements, and Pershall thanked Hornbacher. Pershall's book was refreshing in that it reflected in an unspoken and perhaps unconscious way the primary dialectic of DBT: Pershall had clear empathy for her younger self, and could understand how her behaviors made sense in context, and yet she even more clearly understood how her behaviors were a choice, were "unskillful" (as DBT would describe it), and needed to change for her to be happy. She also had positive things to say about psychotropic medications, which is rare in a memoir of this sort. Perhaps the well-medicated typically don't need to exorcise their demons by writing books. But that's what was great about this story: It was less about exorcising demons, and more just about explaining them in context. The big downside of this book is that it's mostly about her life when, to borrow language from Motivational Interviewing for a moment, she was pre-contemplative (about change); only the epilogue really explains much about how Pershall began to make some changes that worked for her. So, in the end, I guess it leaned more toward lurid, tabloid-y memoir of misery, skating gently around the abuse, but the perspective the author was able to take blunted the lurid tabloid-y-ness.(less)

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Feb 06, 2012 Amy Cornell rated it 5 of 5 stars

You may know Stacy Pershall from her prior work, as she was an early internet sensation when she became one of those web cam girls who lived her daily life on-line. She has written an interesting twist on the young woman/mental illness memoir in which the author recounts her years of struggling with both bi-polar disorder and undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. At the beginning of each chapter she tells a story of how she got one of her multiple tattoos and what it means to her. She rev...more You may know Stacy Pershall from her prior work, as she was an early internet sensation when she became one of those web cam girls who lived her daily life on-line. She has written an interesting twist on the young woman/mental illness memoir in which the author recounts her years of struggling with both bi-polar disorder and undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. At the beginning of each chapter she tells a story of how she got one of her multiple tattoos and what it means to her. She reveals early on in her life chronicle that tattooing, getting to choose her own skin, seemed to be one of the only ways she could reclaim her sanity. If you have ever stared at a woman who is covered with body tattoos and wondered how she could do that to her body, I think this might help shed some light on that phenomenon.

Stacy Pershall recounts her young life and her growth into a mature woman amidst the backdrop of self loathing so profound that it leads her to starve herself, treat the people who love her most very cruelly and eventually try to kill herself in a very public and humiliating way. Her mental illness does finally lead her to work with psychiatrists and mental health professionals to get the drugs and behavior therapy that she most needs. She writes about the life long and on-going struggle that she enters into daily.

I found Stacy's writing very tight and original. I had sympathy for the character, and I enjoyed watching her struggle and gain footing as she escaped from her small town. I really cheered for her as she began to find her way at the end. I like Stacy and found this to be a compelling personal narrative.

There is a thesis in here about how each of her mental illnesses is treated and one of them may be wrongly categorized, and one is also difficult to diagnose in the presence of the other. The medical terminology lost me, but I have no doubt that others who find themselves dealing with these psychiatric problems will find her comparison and comments interesting.

The title drew me into the book originally. If you enjoy memoir this is a fast and worthwhile read. (less)

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Oct 22, 2011 Sara rated it 5 of 5 stars

Loud in the House of Myself is a book that hits home and also opens your eyes to new perspectives. Each chapter begins with a lovely few paragraphs about her passion for tattoos, giving us a glimpse of her now just before we dive into her past of eating disorders, mood disorders, and generally feeling like she didn't belong in the world. You're treated to reality, not fancy fiction renditions of an anemic and bulimic teenager or an emotionally unstable adult and with that you can identify, if no...more

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Sep 04, 2011 Romancing the Book rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

Reviewed by Stephanie
Book provided by publisher for review

We always saw those weird girls in high school -- the ones who never fit in, who always sat alone during lunch. The ones we never bothered to get to know. Stacy Pershall was one of those girls, but shockingly, she doesn't seem very different from me. Her memoir -- all of its crudeness, honesty, and heartfelt revelations -- announces to the world, the deepest secrets of a weird girl, and also acknowledges how the girl who never fit in is a...more Reviewed by Stephanie
Book provided by publisher for review

We always saw those weird girls in high school -- the ones who never fit in, who always sat alone during lunch. The ones we never bothered to get to know. Stacy Pershall was one of those girls, but shockingly, she doesn't seem very different from me. Her memoir -- all of its crudeness, honesty, and heartfelt revelations -- announces to the world, the deepest secrets of a weird girl, and also acknowledges how the girl who never fit in is actually, truthfully, painfully, a little bit of every girl we see today.

This memoir is achingly personal. It's not like reading a diary; it's more like reading a girl's thoughts as they happen. It holds no barriers and only tells the truth -- the ugliest truth. I connected so much with Stacy, both as a child, and as an adult. My own suffering never has gone as far as suicide attempts or bulimia, but a lot of the things Stacy ponders upon are things that have flitted through my head too many times to count. It also vindicates the millions of girls today who sink from the pressure of body image and societal acceptance. I'm not saying suicide and bulimia are healthy habits, but upon reading Stacy's real-life accounts, a part of me feels like it knows why girls would do such things.

A memoir is a collection of memories, which separates it from an autobiography, and Stacy's makes me feel like I'm living her life. That's how real, how heartbreaking, her story is. I had trouble finishing it in the end because there is no definite conclusion, so it drags on a bit, but other than that, I really enjoyed this one. Stacy's narrative as an outcast breaks my heart, and her discovery and exoneration, which is being diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder -- finally! An excuse for being weird -- makes it sing. If you want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, pick up Loud in the House of Myself to revisit the injustices of childhood, as well as the insecurities of life in general, that one girl -- all girls -- have faced in their lifetimes.
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Aug 26, 2011 Delani rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

The subtitle of this book by Stacy Pershall is “Memoir of a Strange Girl.” Hey, I think, I’m a strange girl. I open the cover and the inside flap of the dust cover reads:

“Stacy Pershall grew up as an overly intelligent, depressed, deeply strange girl in Prairie Grove, Arkansas…”

Holy shit! Prairie Grove is literally spitting distance from my hometown, Fayetteville. She grew up there in the 1970s, which is the same time I was growing up here in Fayetteville (and other small towns around it, includ...more The subtitle of this book by Stacy Pershall is “Memoir of a Strange Girl.” Hey, I think, I’m a strange girl. I open the cover and the inside flap of the dust cover reads:

“Stacy Pershall grew up as an overly intelligent, depressed, deeply strange girl in Prairie Grove, Arkansas…”

Holy shit! Prairie Grove is literally spitting distance from my hometown, Fayetteville. She grew up there in the 1970s, which is the same time I was growing up here in Fayetteville (and other small towns around it, including, I suspect, Prairie Grove). And it goes without saying I was overly intelligent, depressed, and deeply strange. Just the fact that this woman, who was practically my neighbor, was able to publish her memoir gives me hope that I may get mine in print as well.

But enough about me…LITHOM is a fascinating book. Pershall creates, I believe, a strong sense of place with perfect details, such as her dad driving truck for Willis Shaw and picking up freight from Zero Mountain, that the ony real hang-out place for teens in the 1970s and ’80s was the Mall, the fact that nearly everything everyone owns comes from Wal-Mart. Because I lived here and remember all these things she references, I might be biased. I got a kick out of reading, in a real live book, about the places I knew as a kid and teenager. I only hope her details give the other 99.9% of her readers a sense of this place as well: not quite so rural we were slopping the hogs before school; but also just rural enough to be isolated from the rest of the world, longing to escape to somewhere where we might fit in, find excitement, or just make a better life than getting married, having kids, and working for Wal-Mart.

From the beginning, Pershall is clear this book is about her struggle with “a multitude of disorders.” Her struggle is especially difficult because being in the Bible Belt, the culture teaches us that psychiatrists (“shrinks”) aren’t to be trusted and that any mental disorder can be overcome with enough willpower and prayer.

Want to read the rest of my review? Check out my blog: http://scryberwitch.wordpress.com/201...(less)

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Feb 25, 2011 SheilaRaeO rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

I heard about this book and picked it up at my local library. When I saw that it was up for an early review giveaway on Goodreads, I signed up for it even though I was already reading it because I already knew it was one I would like to have in my personal collection. I was not selected to receive a review book but I wanted to post my review anyway.
Stacy Pershall's account of her life and her journey to find a way to manage her mental illness was a “could not put down” book for me. We are broug...more

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Jan 07, 2013 Marie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: coming-of-age, memoirs, nonfiction, women

I picked this one up at random at the library...I had never heard of Stacy Pershall...little did I know she was an Internet sensation (and not necessarily in a good way).

Pershall grew up in the small town of Prairie Grove, Arkansas, and she never really fit in there. Pershall's mom pours all of her attention on her brother. She refers to her father's anger, but we don't get much detail on that.

Fast forward to adolescence, when she develops anorexia and bulimia, followed by (or concurrent with) b...more

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Mar 23, 2011 Ashley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Very eye opening! A quick an very interesting read!

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Apr 29, 2012 Colleen rated it 5 of 5 stars

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book because of the descriptiveness Stacey has in her words. I felt like I could really connect with her on a level never felt before while reading a book. Possibly generations younger than the author may not gey a kick out of things & places she describes from her teen years as much as I did. I did feel she did an excellent job in describing what actions were a result of which illness as she has multiple diagnoses going on throughout the book. My personal r...more

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Feb 21, 2013 Phyllis rated it 4 of 5 stars

Very informative book about mental illness from Stacy Pershall, the same Stacy Pershall that lived her life being viewed on the internet. She was borderline, manic and battled anorexia and bulimia. I have a better understanding of mental illness and feel more empathy than I did before I read this book. Toward the end of the book she tells of her help with her mental illness and describes the medicines she took and how they affected her. Again, an eye opening description for me.

"This is how you...more

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Sep 11, 2011 Kira rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is absolutely amazing. It is so honest and insightful. I am amazed that someone with so many internal obstacles is able to be so honest with herself and us, the reader. As a borderline with other labels, this book has showed me that honesty came come with humour and that the road i am travelling down is OK. THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU Stacy.

I could write a thousand things about this book,about how it resonated with me with every word i read, how i laughed and cried, how i felt that ther...more

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May 22, 2011 Lynn Homeier rated it 5 of 5 stars

I just finished reading "Loud in the House of Myself" by Stacy Pershall and have to say that it is one of the most honest and interesting books that I have ever read. The book is a memoir of Stacy Pershalls life thus far in regards to her struggle with mental health and eating disorders. She is extremly brave to tell her story in the way she does. She takes us through the complicated journey of her life without glamorizing anything, and does it with a sense of humor about herself. Along the way...more

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Oct 22, 2011 Liralen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: ed-etc, non-fiction, 2011, reviewed

When I checked this out at the library, the librarian scanning my books perked up. "Oh, I read this one," she said. (This conversation, by the way, was odd in and of itself; the librarians all recognise me but rarely comment on my reading choices.)

"Was it good?" I asked.

She made a face. "It was...well, she's really kind of crazy," she said.

That was, of course, precisely the reason that I was reading this book in the first place, but I didn't say that. In any case, the librarian was pretty much c...more

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Feb 26, 2011 Tammy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Ms. Pershall refers first to her anorexia and bulimia and later to the other manifestations of her mental illness as "the bad dog". There is a bad dog nipping at the heels of someone I love, and this book provided me with invaluable insight and perception.

Thank you, Stacy Pershall.

In this book Ms. Pershall describes in beautiful and heart-wrenching detail her struggles with various mental illnesses and how she learned to live with them. She is not cured - but she found a way to be a (mostly) hap...more

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Jul 07, 2011 Michele Mcconnell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

I hadn't planned on reading the book in one day, but I have. There was something about it that kept pulling me back. Was it the idea the narrator might not be stable? Could she be unreliable? Or was it her unbelievable language, sentence structure, and love of great music and literature that kept me coming back? Possibly her ability to weave a wonderful story about self?

While I am reading many memoirs in order to be prepared for my students when September hits, I have found the genre intriguing...more

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Feb 01, 2011 Amber Keck rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2011

Stacy grew up in small-town Arkansas, born the first child of a truck driver father and a stay-at-home mother seemingly obsessed with her youngest son. Being more on the artistic side than the athletic, Stacy was deemed an outcast among her peers early on in their school careers, most likely contributing to the onset of a very long battle with anorexia and bulimia. Misdiagnosed and mistreated most of her life, Stacy struggled with bipolar tendencies, as well as borderline personality disorder. T...more Stacy grew up in small-town Arkansas, born the first child of a truck driver father and a stay-at-home mother seemingly obsessed with her youngest son. Being more on the artistic side than the athletic, Stacy was deemed an outcast among her peers early on in their school careers, most likely contributing to the onset of a very long battle with anorexia and bulimia. Misdiagnosed and mistreated most of her life, Stacy struggled with bipolar tendencies, as well as borderline personality disorder. This "memoir of a strange girl" captures just what it was like to walk in her shoes, as well as what she did to cope and eventually find victory over her inner self.

From the beginning of the book, Stacy is honest about the people in her life, how they treated her, how their words and actions affected her, and how her words and actions affected them. From her parents to classmates to most of her therapists and psychiatrists, there are many people who had a negative impact on her. It seems as if she had many people that she could turn the blame on, passing on any responsibility for her disorders and illnesses, but she never does. She recognizes and acknowledges exactly what went on in her head and the decisions she made in accordance with that. This was my biggest fear going into this book, and I was thrilled to see that the author handled this aspect in a very mature manner.

There is no doubt that the author can express herself. Individual scenes written from her life bring us straight into her head. When she was in a state of mania, we as the reader fly high with her. When she was depressed and medicated, we seemingly find ourselves drained and without hope. She is raw and honest with her words, exposing herself for the purpose of a greater understanding of mental illness and coping with it. Included throughout the scenes and in depth in the epilogue are explanations of the illnesses and disorders that she was eventually diagnosed with. Much to my disappointment, these explanations did not flow well with the scenes at all. In my opinion, this information should definitely be included in the memoir, but made the writing seem choppy in the way that it was presented.

One of my favorite aspects of her life is how she learned to cope through body art, namely tattoos. Now in her early 40's, she has the majority of her body covered in tattoos documenting her experiences, the people she encountered along the way, and the roller coaster of emotions she has endured through. At the beginning of each chapter, there is a short blurb describing tattoos that she has, in a seeming effort to correlate that with the part of her life that follows in the chapter. Some of the blurbs are a bit odd and don't seem to flow with the chapter, but maybe that is just me not making the connections. In the end, I found these blurbs to be helpful in understanding the author and wish that there would be more explanation of how tattoos have brought her peace and stability.

Stacy Pershall's life and struggles need to be shared. It is memoirs such as this one that will bring greater understanding to those with mental illnesses and those without.(less)

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Feb 03, 2012 Lisa Purcell rated it 3 of 5 stars

So much has already been said about this book. I liked reading it, although certain behavior really freaked me out, like the dog-bowl on the floor of the closet. I'm not gonna lie: I thought: 'Wow-she's CRAZY-crazy!'. The one thing that no one touched on (or maybe they did-I couldn't possibly read all of the reviews) is that there were times when her actions were so maddening and exhausting that it made me consider this: If someone close to you is mentally ill, how much are you supposed to endur...more So much has already been said about this book. I liked reading it, although certain behavior really freaked me out, like the dog-bowl on the floor of the closet. I'm not gonna lie: I thought: 'Wow-she's CRAZY-crazy!'. The one thing that no one touched on (or maybe they did-I couldn't possibly read all of the reviews) is that there were times when her actions were so maddening and exhausting that it made me consider this: If someone close to you is mentally ill, how much are you supposed to endure while trying to support them? Does it depend on your relationship to them? I totally 'get' that the mentally-ill person is struggling, but their actions can often interfere with a friend or relatives life, and hinder them as well. What is a good 'Obligation' rule-of-thumb?

I was also not completely on board with the excessive tattooing. I have nothing against tattoos (and more friends of mine have them than not) but for someone trying to fit in, they can represent another layer of misunderstanding. (Maybe she truly doesn't care what other people think, but the book itself does not attest to that) To be clear: I am referring to a myriad of tats, not just three or four. However, I am glad they bring her satisfaction, and that satisfaction may be more than worth some uncomfortable stares.

I'll also randomly mention that this book made me want to visit Cincinnati. Isn't that weird? But her description of the city sounded right up my alley!

Finally: I was shocked to find out that she was semi-famous for the 24/7 streaming video of her life and public suicide attempt. In a million years I could not wrap my head around ever, ever wanting to be filmed like that! Cameras in the bathroom? Phew! That's a level of acceptance that is beyond desperate and needy, in my opinion. I can't even fathom the narcissistic implications of that. I remember being really aggravated with the author when she was complaining about all of the attention it got her, and how she was sneering at the the news people for trying to get comments on the story. It was very 'watch what you wish for!'and I kept thinking: 'This is exactly what you were going for!!'

All in all, a good read about a person struggling with mental health issues.

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Jan 02, 2013 Lori Greenberg rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoir-bio, psych-addiction

I am always reluctant to give a mid to low review of a memoir, as I have a hard time separating the persons life and experiences from the book.

I appreciated the descriptions of various mental states and eating disorder to the extent that I, not having experienced them, could almost understand the inner workings and thought processes.

At the end I would have liked to learn more about her recovery process and how therapy helped, in depth, instead of explanations of the DSM's Axis I and II designati...more

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May 03, 2011 Chris Blocker rated it 5 of 5 stars

Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, I have often been in and out of therapy. I've tried various techniques to regulate my moods. What worked best for me, however, were words. Words are important to me, and by reading and learning about BPD, I was able to articulate my feelings.

I've read many books on the subject, probably all of which were written by therapists. Some I stepped back in amazement from, asking how they knew so much about me. Others were c...more Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, I have often been in and out of therapy. I've tried various techniques to regulate my moods. What worked best for me, however, were words. Words are important to me, and by reading and learning about BPD, I was able to articulate my feelings.

I've read many books on the subject, probably all of which were written by therapists. Some I stepped back in amazement from, asking how they knew so much about me. Others were clearly speculating how a Borderline feels and reacts, and were way off. I was excited to read Loud in the House of Myself because here was a book actually written by a Borderline. And, not surprisingly, Stacy Pershall knows my story.

Okay, so Pershall's life has been more extreme than mine. Compared to her, I'm a tame Borderline--my therapists always said I was "high functioning." But the base of her actions and feelings are nearly identical. If you want insight into what it means to have BPD, this is the book.

On top of her BPD, Pershall struggled with eating disorders. Though I have many extremist behaviors that mirror the author's bulimia and anorexia, I have never had an eating disorder, per se. Though I'm not as versed in this field, Pershall's descriptions were vivid and made this side of her illness extremely real for me.

When I first started this book, my one worry was that--given the marketing of the book and its target audience (largely, young girls it seems)--that Loud in the House of Myself would be juvenile and poorly written. Quickly, this fear receded. Pershall is intelligent and witty. She talks often about her love of literature and her reading list is impressive.

Loud in the House of Myself is a frightening book. It's scary to get in the head of someone who is often irrational, someone who is seemingly normal one moment, belligerent the next, someone who swings from a belief that they are divine to a knowledge that they are worse than nothing. It's scary, but it's what it means to be Borderline. For whatever it is worth, I attest for Pershall's accuracy on the subject. Loud in the House of Myself is largely what it means to have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.(less)

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Mar 12, 2011 Kate rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I throughly enjoyed Stacey Pershall's Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl, a darkly humorous and deeply honest account of the author's struggles with eating disorders and mental illness. Pershall recounts how she fought her way out of an oppressive small town environment and found that this in itself didn't fix her, and the downward spiral that happened in the aftermath of this realization. Her self-deprecation and excellent turn of phrase help to make her memoirs relatable to...more

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May 20, 2013 Autumn rated it 3 of 5 stars

A brutally honest memoir about what it's like to grow up and deal with mental illness both as a young person and an adult. Too rough for me at times- the author really takes you inside of her pain, and I didn't expect it to be as raw as it was. I totally respect the author for sharing what she did, and her willingness to not cut out the hard stuff, but this was really too much for me. Would highly recommend it to anyone who is dealing or has dealt with anorexia, bulimia, bipolar disorder or bord...more

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Sep 26, 2012 Shana rated it 3 of 5 stars

In this extremely candid and gut-wrenching memoir, Pershall reveals her lifelong battle with eating disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and Bipolar Disorder. Growing up in Arkansas, she coped with violent ups and downs beyond what is typically considered normal for a child. These continued through adolescence and her adult life, where her suicide attempt was streamed live on the Internet. Given the heavy subject matter, you’d think this book would be absolutely depressing. It is, i...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Jaymie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I stayed up half the night last night finishing this. It differed from other mental health-centric memoirs in SO many ways, all of them positive.
I felt the author's voice was honest and genuine. It was not overly apologetic (as memoirs often are) and came from a very self-aware place (as memoirs often don't). I liked that it did not focus on one type of treatment as being better than all others, nor did it tout anything as a cure-all. The author simply discusses what worked and did not work for...more

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Mar 26, 2011 Laurie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was amazing. And annoying. With good reason...the author describes her various mental states from childhood to adulthood, which is a dizzying ride. It's amazing in that she can tap into all of her mania, her depression, her anorexia and bulimia...the list goes on and on. If you're trying to understand what it is like to be borderline, this is an excellent book to read. But you'd better buckle your seatbelt! Pershall's writing is lyrical and brutal all at the same time. I may rethnk my...more

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May 22, 2011 Dodo Jump rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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About Stacy Pershall

Stacy Pershall is a belly dancer and artist living in New York City.

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Quotes from Loud in the House of M...

“Borderline means you’re one of those girls…

…who walk around wearing long sleeves in the summer because you’ve carved up your forearms over your boyfriend. You make pathetic suicidal gestures and write bad poetry about them, listen to Ani DiFranco albums on endless repeat, end up in the emergency room for overdoses, scare off boyfriends by insisting they tell you that they love you five hundred times a day and hacking into their email to make sure they’re not lying, have a police record for shoplifting, and your tooth enamel is eroded from purging. You’ve had five addresses and eight jobs in three years, your friends are avoiding your phone calls, you’re questioning your sexuality, and the credit card companies are after you. It took a lot of years to admit that I was exactly that girl, and that the diagnostic criteria for the disorder were essentially an outline of my life.” — 12 people liked it

“To anyone who thinks eating disorders are something rich, bored white girls do to get attention, I bid you bite me. I have frequent, intense, inappropriate outbursts of anger over the lies little girls are told about what is beautiful.” — 10 people liked it

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