Baby Love

Baby Love

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3.25 of 5 stars 3.25  ·  rating details  ·  564 ratings  ·  138 reviews
From the bestselling author whom Time magazine hails as one of the leaders of her generation, an insightful, moving, and entertaining memoir of pregnancy and the decision to conceive a child after years of uncertainty.

Like many women her age, Rebecca Walker was brought up to be skeptical of motherhood. A young woman's future was limitless, their mothers' generation told...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published March 22nd 2007 by Riverhead Hardcover (first published 2007)
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Lauren
Nov 12, 2007 Lauren rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: mothers-to-be
So I have to say upfront that I was disappointed with Baby Love. The subtitle ("choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence") is a little misleading, for starters, since Walker says on page 1 that, "For the last fifteen years I have told everyone...that I wanted a baby." That, to me, does not spell ambivalence. It becomes clear as the book goes along that Walker has in fact known and tried several times in the past few years to get pregnant, so while I was initially very interested in th...more
sarah
To be totally honest I came to this book with some preconceived notions after reading several reviews of it. Overall I found it to be a little whiny and very self-absorbed. I was kind of fascinated to see her react to different peoples' take on things and opinions, about her life, about parenthood in general, etc. in a very knee-jerk way - a difference of opinion almost always seems to be taken as a challenge. She'll speak of the truth of others but utterly fail to recognize any kind of relativi...more
Melinda
I just read about this book at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/art... .

Rebecca Walker is the daughter of author Alice Walker, who wrote "The Color Purple". The article teaser is what made me interested in reading this book.

"She's revered as a trail-blazing feminist and author Alice Walker touched the lives of a generation of women. A champion of women's rights, she has always argued that motherhood is a form of servitude. But one woman didn't buy in to Alice's beliefs - her daughter, Rebecca,...more
Jessica
Feb 28, 2008 Jessica rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who really do want kids...or think they do
I think the subtitle of this book was a little misleading, the whole title is Baby Love: choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence. The subtitle made me think that basically after a lifetime of NOT wanting children the author suddenly changed her mind and did have a child. But, basically she always wanted children, but felt like she was not equipped to be a good mother and/or felt like she couldn't successfully "have it all".

I have always felt like I didn't want to have kids, but occa...more
LaDonna
I came to this book with big plans of loving it, but as I began turning pages I realized that big love wasn't going to happen. I was expecting insight and revelation, but instead I found a narrow perspective and underwhelming narrative. A disappointing read, overall.

I fully agree with my fellow readers who note the author's incredible self-absorption. Granted, when you're pregnant, you should be allowed to think about yourself a great deal, but if you're writing a book with the subline "Choosing...more
Régine Michelle
Jul 07, 2007 Régine Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: unconventional expectant mothers
I enjoyed this book and appreciated the perspective on pregnancy offered through the Third Wave Feminist lens moments such as when she worries about loss of her life and former self. I also enjoyed her point of view as a writer dealing w/ daily tasks of writing and fulfilling assignments while "ding pregnancy". She says at one point she says something like "My mind doesn't sparkle today, which is hard when you are in a profession that demands sparkle"--> exactly how I feel a lot of these days...more
Jennifer
This is a very sweet journal of Rebecca Walker's journey of first time pregnancy. The reality of becoming a mother for the first time forces the author to take a long look at her own relationship with her mother, famous author, Alice Walker. She discusses in depth the pain and anguish her own mother caused her during her life and how she will not make those same mistakes. Ms. Walker came under fire in this book after making the statement that one cannot possibly love an adoptive child more than...more
Jessica
every detail of this woman having a baby from the point at which she can't imagine ever having a child, through every month of pregnancy, the birth (in detail, i cannot imagine how she can remember each hour...) and the months afterwards where she dealt with the baby's problems resulting from the birth (and probably the fact that she decided against a top notch medical facility for a homier alternative clinic). interesting to read someone's account but for some reason it was not as good as i thi...more
Leonora
I couldn't help but think of "Operating Instructions" as I read this. In many ways, I think that is a better book. However, this one made having a baby sound more appealing.

The main flaw is it's obvious throughout that the author still has some major issues with her mother, Alice Walker. The drama between them was one of the things that kept me interested as I read. I wondered if this baby would fuse them together or drive them farther apart. When, at last, one of these things did happen, it was...more
Ciara
another kind of weird parenting/pregnancy memoir. this one is by rebecca walker, who wrote the memoir black, white, & jewish, which i really liked. rebecca also coined the term "third wave feminism" & has written a lot of interesting things about feminism in the last twenty years. her mother is the writer alice walker, & in the last couple of years, i have read several bizarre essays that rebecca has written about her terrible relationship with her mother. there is a lot of that in t...more
Kate
Dec 28, 2010 Kate rated it 2 of 5 stars
Shelves: babies
The sub-title to this book, "Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence" sounded really different and interesting to me. So many books on motherhood come from women who always wanted to be mothers, I was excited to read about another point of view and how it turned out. Unfortunately, I found it hard to identify with Walker as the book progressed, and found it hard to connect with her story.
I am familiar with Rebecca Walker's "Third Wave" feminist anthologies, however I didn't realize...more
Ruhegeist
Picked this book up based on the tag line, Choosing Motherhood after a Lifetime of Ambivalence and also because my very good friend was thinking about having a baby. Well I've finally read the book (didn't want to give it out only to hear it was horrible). As usual when picking a book (anything) with the thought 'oh, soandso, may like/need/enjoy this book', I'm the one that needs to read it. For one this book finally has me ceding the point that ambivalence is not about not caring but more being...more
Inder
This book is almost unbearable. Rebecca Walker tries to be honest and funny, but comes off as whiny, self-indulgent, bitchy, and stereotypically Berkeley (affluent, privileged, obsessed with organic food, alternative medicine, and Tibetan Buddhism). She claims to value motherhood, but she flames her own mother, the author Alice Walker, at every possible opportunity. She claims to be a feminist, but rants that every woman should become a mother. She claims that her rather intense experience of mo...more
Rosalie
Like many others the title was definitely misleading. I thought this would be about how a woman went from not knowing if she ever wanted children to choosing to be a mother and her journey with that. But it was clear this woman always wanted children so I'm not sure why she wrote that as the title.

Still it was an interesting read. It reminded me of Anne Lamott's book though which personally I thought was way more interesting and written much better.

All of her descriptions of her husband just an...more
Brynn
This book was not at all what I anticipated it would be. I think the subtitle "choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence" is quite misleading given that the author acknowledges in the first chapter that she has always wanted a child, that she's wanted a baby for 15 years. What follows is her account of choosing a partner and the experience of being pregnant and giving birth. I expected, because of what I know of her background, for Walker to make different choices regarding the birth e...more
Kate
Lucid, compelling memoir of a writer's experience with pregnancy and birth. I bought this because it talked about maternal ambivalence, a subject I was interested in, but as it turned out, Walker wanted to have a baby for most of her adult life. To me the more interesting draws were her reflections on blended families, and the distinctions she draws between stepparents and children and biological parents and children, and her meanderings through the world of midwives and natural childbirth. The...more
Michele
I expected a lot from Rebecca Walker with this book. For one, she's Alice Walker's daughter. Does it run in the family? Eh, maybe. Her writing is clear and concise, and her emotions are real, but one detail was extremely distracting. On every single page and sometimes up to 8 times per page, she manages to use the word "ambivalent" or one of it's forms. Now, I understand that this was much of her point of the book, her (forgive me) "ambivalent" emotions about motherhood and her child. Her idea...more
Louise Silk
Being a three time mother and a four time grandmother, I thought I could never get anything out of this book, but I did. I loved the way her pregnancy reminded me of events in my own experience.

I was curious about the author and her issues with her mother, Alice Walker. The drama between them kept me interested and wondering. Also, her other love relationships and how they play into the story- including that of the father of the baby.

I found her voice to be quite defensive and maybe even a littl...more
Mary
The title is misleading, as it's clear she's not ambivalent about having a child but rather about how she will and its effect on her life. And yes, as some other reviewers mention, it does get a bit whiny and isn't always well reasoned or fair but hello, we are taking about a pregnancy memoir here. If there's ever a time when one gets to whine and wonder a bit, that's it. She is honest about the ups, downs, inbetweens...the doubts, fears, questions, and confusion. And I think she was writing jus...more
Bridget
As other reviewers have pointed out, there is a little false advertising here - the author's ambivalence isn't really about whether or not she would have children, but under what circumstances she would eventually decide that she would. I appreciated her honesty and intelligence, if her privilege did detract somewhat. I think she represents a lot of women in their 30s, who grew up smart, engaged feminists and struggle with how to reconcile that with relationships with their mothers, partners, an...more
Jennifer
I wish I had read the reviews before buying it. I was predisposed to liking it - young(Ish), hip, feminist author writing honestly about her pregnancy. But I have the same two words as most others on here - whiny and narcissistic. And is it really shocking that she has a bad relationship with her mother when she trashes her every few pages? I give it 2 stars only because she does write well. In fact, she writes beautifully about her experience of being pregnant, she just doesn't give the impress...more
Allyson B
I was excited to read this because I recently finished an anthology called "One Big Happy Family" that Rebecca Walker edited, and it was awesome. I have also read her book called "Black, White, and Jewish" which I remember enjoying although it was a long time ago. This book is about how she finally decided that she wanted to have a baby after "a lifetime of ambivalence" and it's basically about her experience being pregnant. It was kind of annoying and I decided not to finish it. It got repetiti...more
Nina
This book is such a real, candid, harsh, and beautiful story of the ups and downs of pregnancy and parenthood from a woman who, like me, was always ambivalent about children. Her revelations about her own childhood and how that affected her views on parenthood are so honest. Although many people say that one will consider having children after reading this book it didn't have that effect on me--but I appreciated the fact that Walker was frank about the pressure on women to desire children, and t...more
Cindy
April's discussion for Mommy's Day Out Book Club.
Rebecca Walker's memoir - of before her pregnancy and throughout.

"Can I survive having a baby? Will I lose myself - my body, my mind, my options - and be left trapped, resentful, and irretrievably overwhelmed? If I have a baby, we wonder silently to ourselves, will I die?" (6).

"To compound matters, I had a tempestuous relationship with my mother, and feared the inevitable kick back sure to follow such a final and dramatic departure from daughterh...more
Amy
I love Rebecca Walker. Love her! I love that she's ambivalent and obsessive about all the same things I would be ambivalent and obsessive about...at least when it comes to having a baby.

Since she wrote this journal-style, at times it feels a little too close to reading your own diary, which makes it fun to read (as in, what would I write if I were Rebecca Walker?), but also makes me wonder how much she edited and re-wrote. Perhaps there is pride in using raw material? Or perhaps I loved it beca...more
Denise
This book was both better and worse than I thought it would be. Better because I thought her ambivalence would be some kind of unplanned pregnancy/never-wanted-to-be-a-mom kind of thing, and instead the ambivalence referred to doing the balancing between the feminist principles of choice and autonomy, and the fact that parenthood means another person is beholden to your constant attention for survival. I kind of appreciated that analysis, though there was so much other crap floating around it (i...more
Sonya Feher
I realize the publishers may have added the subtitle to Baby Love but "Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence" is totally misleading. Rebecca Walker always wanted children. She had the same fears we all have: Who will I have a child with? How will we pay for it? Will the baby be healthy? What kind of parent will I be? She's not really ambivalent about choosing motherhood.

The core issue is that Walker has a stormy relationship with her mother, Alice Walker. If you're curious about...more
Kristen
This book was interesting and helpful as she unpacks a lot of complicated issues between motherhood and feminism. I enjoyed a lot of her story. In particular, I enjoyed reading about her struggles with choosing a parenting strategies.

But parts made me uncomfortable--mainly her seeming obsession with heterosexual parenting and her goal to wipe out ambivalence among women about motherhood. Once she became pregnant, she seemed to turn into a heterosexist, "motherhood is the only path for women" ma...more
stacy
I think the ambivalence part comes from her but also from her own mother and her fear of how that would affect her parenting skills. I did not like this book and did not finish it so I'm not going to claim to be the best judge of it. But, I know how hard it is to ask for money from your parents. I know how hard it is to stand on your own two feet and not accept or ask help from anyone. I did not suspect she was not in that type of position. She has a partner. She has a job, an education and is i...more
Elizabeth Renton
Apr 21, 2007 Elizabeth Renton rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone considering having kids
This book caught my eye at Barnes and Noble for its title: Baby Love- choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence. Thinking that I certainly have been ambivalent about having kids, I cracked it open and devoured the first chapter. The author, whom I've never heard of before now, has a wonderful talent for memoir writing. She describes the events and circumstances leading up to her decision to have a baby, after spending a lifetime reveling in the feminist notion that children are optiona...more
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Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence (Paperback)
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Baby Love (ebook)
Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence (ebook)
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“. . . when it comes down to it, that’s what life is all about: showing up for the people you love, again and again, until you can’t show up anymore.” 16 people liked it
“Because mothers make us, because they map our emotional terrain before we even know we are capable of having an emotional terrain, they know just where to stick the dynamite. With a few small power plays - a skeptical comment, the withholding of approval or praise - a mother can devastate a daughter. Decades of subtle undermining can stunt a daughter, or so monopolize her energy that she in effect stunts herself. Muted, fearful, riddled with self-doubt, she can remain trapped in daughterhood forever, the one place she feels confident she knows the rules.” 3 people liked it
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