The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us

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The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us

3.42 of 5 stars 3.42 · rating details · 300 ratings · 90 reviews

From a noted science journalist comes a wonderfully witty and fascinating exploration of how and why we kiss.

When did humans begin to kiss? Why is kissing integral to some cultures and alien to others? Do good kissers make the best lovers? And is that expensive lip-plumping gloss worth it? Sheril Kirshenbaum, a biologist and science journalist, tackles these questions and...more

Hardcover, 246 pages

Published January 5th 2011 by Grand Central Publishing (first published December 16th 2010)

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Sep 24, 2011 Cortney rated it 3 of 5 stars

Hooray!! I just was notified I won this book on a free Goodreads giveaway! I think this is going to be a very interesting book...thanks Goodreads!!!

I was right..very interesting book, really, the Author did her research on how the kiss started. I liked all the facts, even the chapter on mouth bacteria although it grossed me out! I also didn't know in the early days that a kiss was a statement of honor, a promise...so it wasn't uncommon for leaders to kiss a hand, or other material to make that p...more

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Jun 20, 2011 Kim L. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

In short, I enjoyed this book. It gave a historical overview of where kissing came from, and how we have gotten where we are today. It is obvious that a lot of research went into this book. I enjoyed some of the random bits of information in the historical overview. The second part of the book went through some of the biochemical processes that occur while kissing, which I found very interesting. Especially some of the research that was sited.

I could have done without chapters 11 and 13. I don'...more

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Feb 14, 2012 Stephanie D. rated it 5 of 5 stars

Don't you wish they taught this class in high school? The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us by Sheril Kirshenbaum is the kind of science book I love to read: fascinating, fun, informative, and highly readable for the layperson. Kirshenbaum covers almost everything about this titillating subject. It's not too technical for the nonscientific crowd, but with enough depth across a broad spectrum so by the end I felt very educated about kissing. And people, real-world, personal researc...more

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Mar 06, 2011 Kristy rated it 4 of 5 stars

So as I sat down to read this book, I really only had one thought. Well, maybe two. The first one was that it was February and I wanted to read a girly romantic love appropriate book. Secondly, I've been trying to figure out how the boy I am seeing and I are so physically enamored with each other while we have virtually nothing else in common!
I got way more than I bargained for. I have friends reading this review who will drop their jaws as I did, or turn away with rolled eyes. I found it fascin...more So as I sat down to read this book, I really only had one thought. Well, maybe two. The first one was that it was February and I wanted to read a girly romantic love appropriate book. Secondly, I've been trying to figure out how the boy I am seeing and I are so physically enamored with each other while we have virtually nothing else in common!
I got way more than I bargained for. I have friends reading this review who will drop their jaws as I did, or turn away with rolled eyes. I found it fascinating.

The book isn't just a bunch of hokey pokey about frech kissing versus nose kissing. Or a how-to manual. It starts with reasearch as to why we pick the "mates" that we pick. I won't rewrite the whole book here, obviously, but after giving us a run-down of how our pheremones and hormones and scents and tastes are all a part of how we are drawn to the partners we are drawn to (example, boys have less strong scent and taste so they give wetter kisses so that the girls saliva can tell tell them more about their fertileness, Kirshenbaum tacles the studies surrounding infertility.

uh-oh, I thought.

She suggests(p.111), after years of research, studies, albiet inconclusive evidence, that women who have been on the pill for a number of years, especially the ones where they have chosen their mates, have shown an overwhelming case of infertility.
Let me back up here. The research suggests that the hormone levels that birth control pills give off sway the scent that a woman is looking for in a mate from more testosterone to more less testosterone and more feminine scents (or estrogen levels). Kirshenbaum and her partners started studying infertile couples and found a shocking number of them had the woman on the pill while dating and married and when the woman stopped taking the pill to have a baby the natural scents, thus immunities of the couple, were causing infertility. She places a large value of why we "naturally" choose our partners by scent and taste to the importance of finding different immunities in order to procreate. Similar immunities cause infertility.
This was wild to me. Inconclusive, but wild.
She also tackles on-line dating as changing the face of "natural selection". She says we "naturally" select by, again, taste and scent and on the internet we put our best foot forward based on looks and personality first. When we base our mating rituals on these selections first we are weeding out hundreds of candidates whose immunities we may want to be linked with and "chemistry" we may be overlooking. This one i may be partial to agreeing with because the boy I am with now, I never would have dated in a hundred years had I not smelled him first! :)

All in all, a very unconventional interesting read. Happy kissing!(less)

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May 31, 2011 Sarah Beth rated it 4 of 5 stars

This compelling little book takes a look at an ancient and nearly universal human hobby - kissing. Despite its prevalence in over 90% of cultures, very little research has been done on the subject. Kirshenbaum takes a look at kissing through the ages from the origin of kissing under the mistletoe to the fact that two-thirds of us turn our head to the right when we go in for a kiss. Kissing can seal a bond between mother and child, be an expression of greeting between friends, sign of fealty to a...more

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Aug 17, 2011 Carol rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

I enjoyed reading this book. It covered more things than I ever knew were connected to kissing! Do you remember that people who could not sign their names mark it with an "X", the same "X" as in XOOXX? Ok, I won't spoil it for you and tell you more about that.

Were you like me, when your aunts came to visit, came to dread their sloppy kisses. Kissing when relatives and dignitaries came used to be much more more common than it is today. The Great Plague had something to do with it. There were more...more

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Jan 20, 2011 Julie (Mom2lnb) rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Romantics & Armchair Scientists

Shelves: desert-island-keepers, read-2011, science

Reviewed for THC Reviews
I happen to be a hopeless romantic who is also fascinated by science, so the minute I saw The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us, I knew I had to read it. One might think that a scientific book on kissing might destroy the romanticism of the act, but for me, it did the exact opposite. It actually reinforced many of my romantic notions while explaining the logic and biology behind this most common of relational behaviors. Rather than writing a traditional rev...more

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Apr 09, 2011 Gretchen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, relationships

Why do people kiss? That is the central question driving this book written by Sheril Kirshenbaum, a researcher and science blogger. She begins the book by discussing the evolution of kissing behavior, also bringing in similar behaviors found elsewhere in the animal kingdom. She talks about the history of the kiss and how European-style mouth-to-mouth kissing was exported around the world.

The middle section of the book is primarily concerned with the biology of kissing. Kirshenbaum talks about t...more Why do people kiss? That is the central question driving this book written by Sheril Kirshenbaum, a researcher and science blogger. She begins the book by discussing the evolution of kissing behavior, also bringing in similar behaviors found elsewhere in the animal kingdom. She talks about the history of the kiss and how European-style mouth-to-mouth kissing was exported around the world.

The middle section of the book is primarily concerned with the biology of kissing. Kirshenbaum talks about the physical responses that take place in the body during a kiss, including hormonal responses. She discusses gender differences and how these affect the kissing styles of men and women. She also discusses how kissing might have developed as a way for humans to tell whether or not they were genetically compatible, meaning any children produced from their union would be healthy. The final chapter in this section is about "cooties," or the bacteria and viruses that can be transmitted through a kiss.

The final section talks about the current research in the area, including a study the author conducted along with a neuroscientist in order to determine how our brains respond to kissing. After detailing the results of this study, she goes on to talk about future directions for this type of research and the future of kissing itself. Finally, she summarizes everything she just discussed in the book and closes with a final chapter about how we ourselves can become better kissers.

I thought this book was pretty interesting. It's probably not something I would have picked up on my own, but their are some interesting facts in here. The author even speculates about how our modern world, including things like birth control pills and online dating, might affect the "natural" course of mate selection. I found the section on biology to be the most interesting. The last section was probably the least interesting to me, but it might have just been because I was getting tired of the book and was ready to be done with it.(less)

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Oct 25, 2011 Dayna rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: at-the-library

This was not nearly as good as it should have been. There were a few interesting tidbits...such as, if a man kisses his wife goodbye in the morning then he is 50% less likely to get into a car wreck. That was a new thing I learned, however, I had already heard of or read most of the research Kirshenbaum cites...and that's saying something, because it's not like I am that well-read on the subject. It just wasn't that informative. And it's not witty enough to make up for the lack of interesting fa...more

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Dec 29, 2010 Melissalott rated it 5 of 5 stars

When I set out to read this book (written by a friend, whose work I am familiar with) I expected it to be well written and interesting. I even expected to like it, because the topic sounds like fun. But, I didn't expect to find the book so engaging - which it was! I sat down to read 20-30 pages, and ended up reading the entire book in one sitting. Interesting, funny, gross (there's a chapter on cooties) - all describe this book, which is full of scientific data, facts, and theories presented in...more

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Jun 08, 2011 Shannon (Giraffe Days) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, history, non-fiction, science

I got this book after hearing a brief mention of it on CBC radio one day; I missed the actual segment but the title made me curious enough to look the book up when I was next in the bookshop ... which happened to be that same day. I don't read a lot of non-fiction - I have plenty but they're still mostly unread - simply because they generally take a lot more concentration than I usually have available, and I've had real baby brain lately. This one is what's commonly referred to as "pop science",...more I got this book after hearing a brief mention of it on CBC radio one day; I missed the actual segment but the title made me curious enough to look the book up when I was next in the bookshop ... which happened to be that same day. I don't read a lot of non-fiction - I have plenty but they're still mostly unread - simply because they generally take a lot more concentration than I usually have available, and I've had real baby brain lately. This one is what's commonly referred to as "pop science", meaning that it's written in a more accessible and engaging style than a traditional science book, and it's short at only 209 pages of actual text, so I knew I'd find it a quick and easy read. And it was.

Kirshenbaum is a research scientist at the University of Texas and a science journalist, so her skills lie in collecting and analysing research, not in any particular field related to this subject matter. It puts her in a similar position to the reader: coming at the topic with no background knowledge (in terms of the science and history of kissing), but with her journalistic and research experience she not only has good contacts but the skills to weed out the most pertinent information, and knows how to verify it. That said, she admits that there's little research out there on kissing, and this book is really just the beginning of something that should have larger scope.

Really, it's a shame to think that few people have bothered to look into kissing, when it's such an important and, in various ways, universal act. Kirshenbaum looks into the history of kissing, data for which is limited because at certain times in history it's been a bit of a taboo subject (and in many places still is), and at how other animals share a similar kind of exchange, from certain types of apes to birds. There is "kissing-like behaviours" that include regurgitating food, that is shared across species and is still practiced in some human societies today, and a look at how lip-to-lip kissing is abhorrent in some cultures and intrinsic in others.

One of things I love learning about is where expressions and traditions come from, so I found this incredibly interesting: back in medieval times (the "dark ages"), when people were still commonly illiterate, a contract was signed with a big X and then the person would kiss the X to seal the deal. Thus we have the saying "sealed with a kiss". It is also why, at a wedding ceremony, we have the line "you may now kiss the bride" (or not, depending on your ceremony, but generally when the celebrant announces you husband and wife, you kiss); weddings were another business transaction between two men, the groom and the bride's father, and the "deal" was likewise sealed with a kiss. (Pretty much every tradition associated with our western wedding style has a root cause - like the bride's bouquet; she originally carried it because people didn't bathe more than about once a year and everyone ponged.)

I also loved the chapters on the science of kissing, and the different gender approaches to kissing and its importance. Kirshenbaum was originally resistant to the notion that the different sexes would put a different value on kissing, but her research proved otherwise - and when you read about it, certain things will click for you. There is also the biology of a kiss, and what's happening with our bodies - the hormones that are being released, the instinctual drive to kiss that are related to certain gender-specific drives. Aside from being fascinating reading, it made a lot of sense. The insight into what hormones are released when we kiss, and why and what their purpose is, is also enlightening.

The scientific research into kissing is still, sadly, at its early stages, so there are some hypotheses that have yet to be conclusively proven. I hope that people in various fields, from science to history to anthropology, continue to study this incredibly intimate act. What's nice is that this book isn't going to ruin the romance of a kiss for you, or make you second-guess yourself or what your body's doing when you kiss. So much of it clicks with your sub-conscious anyway, that it's like you knew it all already, you just needed to hear someone say it.

That said, I wish there'd been a bit more substance to the book, a bit more detail in some areas, but it's still a good starting point on the topic, and great to have the information collected into one handy little book.
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Mar 22, 2011 Karin rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: kissing, science, nonfiction

This is a kissing book, but it's not *that* sort of kissing book. It's spring right now and half the world is stirring with FEELINGS. And desires. And thoughts of kissing. And after reading about 40 pages of this, I felt like all of the excitement and luscious anticipation had gone straight out of kissing. Which is not what I was in the mood for at all. If you're interested in the theories/hypotheses/studies surrounding why we kiss, how that behavior might have evolved and what it all means in v...more

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Feb 05, 2011 K.V. Taylor rated it 3 of 5 stars

A really fun, light read. I picked it up off a Valentine's Day table just before a trip to India and read it on the flight--it was a perfect choice. Zoomed through it in a few hours. The science is well-presented for a wide audience, made to be amusing and educational at the same time. Kept me smiling and randomly elbowing my husband awake to give him some interesting tidbit.

No idea what the guy sleeping in the seat on the other side of me thought.

On a personal note, very cool read for someone w...more

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Dec 01, 2011 Emily rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, meridian

Brief but interesting look at the history, cultural and social practices, and science of kissing/smooching/bussing/osculating. Several little tidbits stuck out - such as some of the affectionate, kiss-like practices of non-European cultures (biting off eyelashes!?!?) or the fact that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live on average 5 years longer and earn 20-30% more or that German has thirty different words for kissing.

Ms. Kirshenbaum gives a short survey of the historical evide...more

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May 30, 2011 Joe Robles rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really liked this book. It did a good job of getting at the science (or lack thereof) of kissing. It approaches it from a partially evolutionary perspective and explains how both evolution and culture shape the ways we kiss. It also reminded me of how I learned about Evolutionary Psychology. You consider something to possibly be an evolved trait if it meets 3 criteria: 1. occurs across time, 2. occurs across cultures, and 3. occurs across species. Kissing meets these criteria. At times people...more

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Dec 12, 2011 Julia rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, non-fiction, reviewed

Seeing those questions posed to me, I thought to myself, "This could be quite interesting! A scientific look into kissing." I am not going to lie; I was a little weary starting a book about kissing, thinking that the possibility could be high of it turning into a How-to book. (Not that I would turn down a few pointers.. which this book does give based on the context of the science)

This is not a How-to book. It is more of a "Why" book. Each chapter delves into a different aspect of kissing, for e...more Seeing those questions posed to me, I thought to myself, "This could be quite interesting! A scientific look into kissing." I am not going to lie; I was a little weary starting a book about kissing, thinking that the possibility could be high of it turning into a How-to book. (Not that I would turn down a few pointers.. which this book does give based on the context of the science)

This is not a How-to book. It is more of a "Why" book. Each chapter delves into a different aspect of kissing, for example: kissing among animals, how kissing evolves, the hormones involved, potential spread of diseases, etc. On the spread of diseases front, what I took from that chapter is that if I brush my teeth and floss regularly but my boyfriend whom I kiss does not, I can still get cavities from the mouth to mouth transfer. Gross.

I aprticularly enjoyed the chapters that talked about how kissing is percieved in men vs. women. She talkes about what hormones get going and what that means for our involentary responses.

Each chapter takes a scientific look at whatever the topic is. Why do men find lips attractive and the correlating aspect of why women highlight them? It's all in there. The Science of Kissing covers a wide range of topics separated by chapters so if one does not suit your fancy it would be easy to just skim passed to the next chapter.

If you are thinking, "This book sounds interesting, but I am not too into reading heavy science things," then worry not! This book, though it does contain the science, presents itself in a way that is not research paper-like, but instead flows well and doesn't talk over the reader. There are some times where I personally thought the science went on a little too long, but someone else may have really found that enjoyable. When that happened I would just skim along until I got to the next new and interesting topic.

If you are interested in reading more about the science behind why we kiss and all that comes with it, this is a really interesting read and I would highly recommend it.(less)

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Apr 21, 2011 Ashley rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, science-and-stuff

Honestly, I was kind of disappointed in this book. I was expecting detailed research and informed speculation. I was expecting some bite. Instead, what I got was a very short and shallow meditation into a whole bunch of stuff that should have been much more elaborated. I also found it disconcerting that there were no notes of any kind throughout the book . . . we just kind of have to take her word on it that she's done her research. Now, I'm not saying that she didn't -- in fact, the extensive B...more

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Jul 21, 2012 Rachel rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: medical

This book isn't some trite adolescence book on how to kiss. No, Kirshenbaum, delves into research to bring out points unheard of in the classroom, concerning pheromones, how birth control inhibits our pheromone receptors so we are unable to pick a suitable mate, what happens in the brain when we kiss, etc. For a scientific book, it kept me engaged and wanting to delve deeper into my own research. This book is top notch and a great read, even for those who aren't looking to go into the medical fi...more

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Feb 14, 2012 Heather rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was a cute book and I thought it would be appropriate to review it for Valentine’s Day. I don’t know about the claim that this book will make you a better kisser, but it certainly was interesting. It did slightly change the way I think about kissing, because it reminded me about all of the germs that get swapped during a kiss. I’m having a hard time not thinking about that when I kiss my husband now (oh, the woes of a germaphobe). Haha! Ugh.

Other than the section about germ swapping, I real...more

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Apr 16, 2011 Leah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

Kissing is ancient and universal, but it has also evolved and has myriad variations. This books goes into detail about kissing from both an anthropological and a physiological point of view. It's fascinating to see how it came to be that humans display affection, respect, commitment, desire, safety, lust, love, and other emotions through the lips.

The history is more interesting and fun to read about than the scientific studies involving brain scans and neurotransmitters, but both offer up some...more

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Feb 01, 2011 Karenclifford61 rated it 3 of 5 stars

A quick read to put one in a VD mood. Proves different theories of how kissing might have originated as it was not practiced in all cultures (sniffing a friend/enemy, pre-chewing food for an infant, breastfeeding bonding). Interestingly 80% of people are right leaner (kissers) and turns out subconsciously we are not as turned on by kissing someone that has a MHC genes (DNA that works with immunity) that is similar to our own because it helps our offspring have a wider variety of immunity.

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Mar 25, 2011 Rachel rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

I learned about this book from a list of new releases I read somewhere. Kirschenbaum's book was structured much like an easy-to-read Master's thesis. The first part of the book discussed the history of kissing and summarized previous research. The next section discussed a study she conducted and the results from a small sampling. Finally, the book ends with recommendations for future research and implications about what is yet to be learned about kissing.

I wish I had written my review immediatel...more

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Jan 16, 2012 M rated it 3 of 5 stars

A good summary review on kissing from a biological, anthropological, and neurological standpoint. I liked parts 1 and 2 over 3. Three felt too personal describing her involvement in the kissing experiment she devised. While it is a very nice experiment her novelization of the experience read too much like a diary or journal. The author's research is extensive and it shows as she covers every facet of kissing. I wished for reference citations while I was reading but that might of slowed down the...more

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Jun 07, 2011 Beth rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: blog-review

Originally published at BethsBookReviews.com

Received from the publisher for review.

Well, let's just say that if you're looking for a comprehensive book on kissing, this is indeed it. It covers everything one may want to know (and many things one would prefer not to know) about the subject. Word to the wise: About 400,000 people a year kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland. Um, ick!

This one gets four stars. It was fun and upbeat yet covered all sorts of kissing related topics in all time periods and...more

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May 23, 2011 trina rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction-equals-not-not-real

ho-hum. my obsession with pop science books should be modified to exclude "sensational" ones like this that take advantage of the popularity of the genre. there's nothing new here- barely anything that isn't intuitive, even- and the writing is amateurish. ah well. kissing is one of my favorite pasttimes, but it turns out to be one of those activities that is fun to do, not read about.

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Sep 16, 2011 Brittany rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was pretty interesting. It goes into a kind of history of kissing and explains why we do it, not just how men and women differ in their preferences but also why, that sort of thing. It was interesting to read, but sometimes got a little too science-y for me. However, I learned a lot of things, so that's good, right?

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Feb 22, 2013 Pamela rated it 2 of 5 stars

It seems like the author had a great idea for a book, got a contract, realized there wasn't much research done, had to write something, and ended up with this. Not very satisfying, and she ends with a list of things to do to be a better kisser (somewhat reluctantly), and offering platitudes about how important kissing is.

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Jun 14, 2011 Jeff Druzba rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Jeff by: Alisa Druzba

This wasn't that great of a book. There were a few factoids here and there but it really read like someone's fluffed up science paper. There's this trend of hyper-specialized single subject books out there and I'm not sure this book really does anything more than bring a collection of facts into a single volume.

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Jan 21, 2011 Dhing Soriano rated it 4 of 5 stars

Sounds so fascinating and interesting to me, especially that i am not quite fond of kissing,,though its a normal action for lovers. It really attract my attention when i read the title of this book,,i wish i could read all the content of it,,i can feel that its a great info. for everybody!

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Apr 16, 2011 Andra rated it 4 of 5 stars

Chemistry, neurotransmitters, MHCs, bonobos, male sex robots named "Rocky", NYU's MEG machine, etc. no science rock is left unturned in this quest to understand why we kiss and what happens to us when we do. Intriguing...and pretty complex. A kiss is definitely not just a kiss.

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About Sheril Kirshenbaum

Sheril Kirshenbaum is an associate at Duke University and co-author of the forthcoming book, Unscientific America: How Scientific Illiteracy Threatens Our Future, with Chris Mooney. She is involved in conservation initiatives across levels of government and works to improve communication between scientists, policymakers, and the public.

In 2007, Sheril helped to found Science Debate 2008; an initia...more

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