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44th out of 90 books
—
191 voters
My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity
by
Nancy Friday
When Nancy Friday began her research for My Mother/My Self in the early 1970’s no work existed that explored the unique interaction between mother and daughter. Today psychotherapists throughout the world acknowledge that if women are to be able to love without possessing, to find work that fulfills them, and to discover their full sexuality, they must first acknowledge th...more
Paperback, 448 pages
Published
September 8th 1997
by Delta
(first published January 1st 1977)
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Sep 25, 2007
Avital
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
mothers and daughters
Shelves:
non-fiction
Mothers, daughters and their complex relationships, expectations and similarities. A little out-dated, as it speaks about a generation before mine but it relates to mine-as being daughters in many aspects as well. The book is based on many interviews, so it's real, but today, as a mother, I can relate to some issues and not to others. For instance, I would never feel jealousy regarding my daughter. I'm too much of a proud mother to feel this way.
But as for another issue, the one of references,...more
But as for another issue, the one of references,...more
Jan 12, 2012
Susan Morris
is currently reading it
For some it may take courage to read this book with an open mind. A person's unique experiences may not relate to all of the stories told by the author, but I believe that if you either had a mother or are a mother, you will find something familiar here.
Can you handle the truth? Can you admit that your mother isn't and wasn't perfect, that her love for you isn't and wasn't perfect? Can you not only admit it but be okay with it? Can you face the grownup reality that you aren't perfect either, and...more
Can you handle the truth? Can you admit that your mother isn't and wasn't perfect, that her love for you isn't and wasn't perfect? Can you not only admit it but be okay with it? Can you face the grownup reality that you aren't perfect either, and...more
Crappy book. Too many generalizations. Too many false dilemma fallacies (http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallac...).
Relationship dynamics: This book's psychology is outdated. No wonder so many women who tried reading this book (and the author included) devolved into a self-blaming manner of thinking about mother-daughter relationship dynamics. The author's lack of optimism bleeds through. Also, I particularly disliked how the author pushed the concept of "if a daughter feels inadequacies about he...more
Relationship dynamics: This book's psychology is outdated. No wonder so many women who tried reading this book (and the author included) devolved into a self-blaming manner of thinking about mother-daughter relationship dynamics. The author's lack of optimism bleeds through. Also, I particularly disliked how the author pushed the concept of "if a daughter feels inadequacies about he...more
I recently came across a tattered copy at the JALT "Books Doing Good" table and decided to reread this book. I first read it in 1980 or so, and was completely blown away by how "right" Nancy Friday got the complicated mother-daughter relationship. Rereading it 30 years later, I was wondering if it would give me insight to being on the other side of the coin--now I am the MOTHER with a daughter. Although some things still hold true, we are living in a completely different era, and the daughters o...more
This is a book of revelations, and a book that many daughter's (and mother's) could benefit by reading. It talks about and takes a psychological look at how we are like our mother's and why it is so hard to accept or realize that. It also attempts to engage one in self discovery and how we form our identity. As a psychologist I have recommended this book to many young women struggling with their mom's, having a hard time understanding them, and even having a love/hate affair and not knowing why....more
When this was published (1977), I tried to read it. I couldn't handle it. Now as the mother of an adult daughter and as a daughter with a life-long conflicting relationship her mother AND writing a book about single parenting, I thought I should try again. The book may be dated in places, but the concepts still present a thoughtful challenge. I do have a tendency to stop and get back to work on my book, but I won't give up. For those daughters of any age who do not understand their relationship...more
Had enough issues with my mother - stopped after the 2nd chapter so I wouldn't develop any more.
May 02, 2009
April
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Amy
Recommended to April by:
Linda Smith
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it,
click here.
Oct 29, 2012
Marti
added it
Terribly outdated. Don't think it has much to say to the younger generation now, for whom all mommies are expected to be "yummy mummies" and be hot and sexy days after giving birth. The Madonna/whore choice seems to have swung in the opposite direction since the time Friday wrote this. Probably was a seminal work (ha ha) at the time, but now it's just not relevant.
I was spurred to purchase and first read this book in 1981 by Marilyn French's The Women's Room, which I also re-read recently. Once again, I was disappointed with this one in comparison to The Women's Room. As non-fiction, I found the organization of the ideas and research references difficult to follow, and often found when I finished a page that I had only moved my eyes over the words without taking in any of the content.
I NEVER read these types of books. This one was interesting but outdated. It doesn't pertain to my relationship with my mother but I know people who would read it and see their relationship with their mother in there.
Den var sen i starten og jeg kom langt ut i den før jeg synes den traff meg. Da leste jeg mye! Litt amerikansk med så lenge man er klar over det så er det greit å lese den.
I read this book before I was a mother so then it was throwing light on me and my own mother. It would be interesting [difficult?] to read it now that I have my own daughter.
I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/10420176
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/10420176
This book didn't give me any insight into my relationship with my mother. Instead, it made me feel that I've been a terrible mother to my own daughters. As it didn't seem to offer insight into how I could improve the situation, I decided it was unhealthy for me to continue reading and I returned it to the library.
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Finally finished reading the second half! I will definitely go back and read this again - there's so much in it that perhaps I wasn't "ready" for the first time. This book really helped me explore my feelings regarding my childhood and why I still struggle today. I highly recommend it for any woman.
It shows how much your mother works in you if you don't be aware of it...a very interesting book for all women
Intense read. Learn a hell of a lot about being a woman and the incredible dynamic of a mother-daughter relationship.
May 08, 2012
Mq Running
is currently reading it
A strong book for strong women who are really commited to finding their identity and gifts.
Excellent... and ouch. And so the the story continues into the 21st century with our daughters.
helped me work out relationship with my own mom, find forgiveness &
understanding.
understanding.
It is intresting.When you read it, you undrestand it is a surprizing book.phsychologycal book about women!
Incredible book! Every daughter on earth should read it. The chapters in the book:
1) Mother love
2)A time to be close
3)A time to let go
4)Body image and menstruation
5)Competition
6)The other girls
7) Surrogates and models
8) Men the mystery
9) The loss of virginity
10) The single years
11) Marriage: the return to symbiosis
12) A mother dies. A daughter is born. The cycle repeats.
1) Mother love
2)A time to be close
3)A time to let go
4)Body image and menstruation
5)Competition
6)The other girls
7) Surrogates and models
8) Men the mystery
9) The loss of virginity
10) The single years
11) Marriage: the return to symbiosis
12) A mother dies. A daughter is born. The cycle repeats.
Powerful. Helpful. Deep.
Highly recommend to all woman
A deep &c serious book!
i read this in the late 80's. i was entirely too pissed off to make any connections. i mean, it kind of spoke to me because my mom used to be a real asshole, but we're not blood related. i have no information about the one i am related to, so the 'symbiotic' analysis left me chaffed.
all in all, ech.
all in all, ech.
I couldn't finish it. I read it when I was a teenager and I guess I was too young to realize how completely irrelevant this book is to my experience. For a full commentary (not really a review):
http://satia.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-...
http://satia.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-...
Good, symbolic of it's time. My mother was jealous, favored my sister, sad for we could never acknowledge a problem between us. I do understand, she was chasing Women's Lib. I have son's, open and honest communication ... the gens are changing.
Holy smokes...this is deep stuff. I'm reading this extremely slow. I'm mean REALLY slow. Just in the first page I realized that I need therapy...NOW. Don't read it if you're not ready to accept that you ARE like YOUR mother. Yikes!
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| THIS DEALS WITH PARENTAL SEPARATION | 1 | 1 | Apr 13, 2013 05:10pm |
Nancy Colbert Friday (born August 27, 1933) is an author who has written on the topics of female sexuality and liberation.
'Nancy Friday's successful fantasy revelations (My Secret Garden, Forbidden Flowers)' have seen her placed among 'the feminist erotic pioneers'. Her writings argue that women have often been reared under an ideal of womanhood which was outdated and restrictive, and largely unre...more
More about Nancy Friday...
'Nancy Friday's successful fantasy revelations (My Secret Garden, Forbidden Flowers)' have seen her placed among 'the feminist erotic pioneers'. Her writings argue that women have often been reared under an ideal of womanhood which was outdated and restrictive, and largely unre...more
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“Our feelings about menstruation are the image of what it is to be a woman in this culture. While menstruation and the fear of revealing evidence of loss of body control bear possibilities of humiliation for women of which men are not aware, it is humiliating too to be that sex whose voice and presence carry less significance. It is humiliating to speak the same words as a man and have his heard, and not yours. It is humiliating to feel invisible when God gave you a body as solid as his. It is humiliating that women are accorded little dignity unless they are married. We twist these humiliations around, of course, and say it is glorious to have a man fight our battles for us, put us on a pedestal, take care of us. It is, if you enjoy being dependent on someone else.”
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