Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

3.64 of 5 stars 3.64  ·  rating details  ·  6,697 ratings  ·  1,402 reviews
The acclaimed author of the groundbreaking bestseller Schoolgirls reveals the dark side of pink and pretty: the rise of the girlie-girl, she warns, is not that innocent.
Pink and pretty or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarati...more
Hardcover, 244 pages
Published January 25th 2011 by Harper
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Will Byrnes
UPDATED - 4/2/13 - see link at bottom

Once upon a time it was considered attractive for women to have some actual flesh on them; small boys wore pink dresses while little girls wore blue; childrens television shows were not designed specifically to sell toy lines, and manufacturers did not push pink-colored merchandise for a vast range of products to enhance their bottom lines. Pre-teen girls were not encouraged to dress like streetwalkers and bump and grind like exotic dancers. Surely girls were...more
Michelle
It was good but lacking. She skims over a lot of interesting questions and conflicts, but don't really explore a lot of other ones because of her feminist agenda (and I'm a feminist). This book also suffers from her white, liberal, and (relatively) rich guilt and blinders. There are quick fleeting mentions of race (the last chapter she talks about the Princess & the Frog, and I was frequenting face-palming and rubbing my temples, esp when she mention her biracial daughter), fat, and sexualit...more
Skylar Burris
Apr 28, 2011 Skylar Burris marked it as sampled-abandoned
Shelves: sociology
A condensed version of the thoughts I catalogue here appears in my article Are Pink Things and Princesses Oppressing Our Girls?. Since I’m planning to take my daughter to Disney World for the first time some time in the next year, it seemed like a good time to read this. Of course, even at seven, she’s still more interested in Winnie the Pooh than in princesses. But, sure, she loves to dress up in gowns and necklaces and tutus, to put on pretend makeup (allowed only on weekends, in time for was...more
Cathy DuPont
Dec 02, 2012 Cathy DuPont rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Dads and Moms
Recommended to Cathy by: Will Byrnes
Living in the Oldest City in the United States, St. Augustine certainly has its challenges, first being the high number of tourists to visit the area a valid 2 million a year.

In the past they were mostly middle class with St. Augustine being their destination. However, with that said, in the past 20 years or more the complexion of the tourist has changed significantly. And numbers will bear out that the city is no longer the destination point, it’s a ‘side trip’ after Disney World.

Once in the c...more
Helynne
Author Peggy Orenstein’s four-year-old daughter Daisy loved to wear engineers’ overalls with the complementing bandana and hat until a boy on the playground yelled to her, “Girls don’t like trains!” After that, Daisy jettisoned the engineer garb and went off and running with the Disney princesses, Barbies, the color pink, and all the other trappings of what Orenstein calls “the new girlie-girlie culture.” “And what was the first thing that culture told [my daughter] about being a girl?” the auth...more
Rhiannon
Apr 12, 2011 Rhiannon rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Mommys, Daddys, Pre-School Teachers?
Recommended to Rhiannon by: The Feminist Readers Network on Goodreads
Here's the deal: The two stars - those are for me. To someone who has read a fair amount about children/gender and feminism in general, Orenstein does not offer anything new. If I was a new or future-mom, however, an average middle-class mom who hasn't read what could be considered a "feminist" book since college (or possibly never!), or just one who finds most children's toys essentially "harmless," I think this book could be a real eye-opener - I think it could easily deserve three or four sta...more
Chris
I don't have children, and I don't teach children. I picked up this book in part due to an interview on NPR and after seeing prostitots in the malls. I should also note I had Barbies when I was kid. They got trampled by thier horses a lot. But at least, during my childhood, Barbie could be a vet. I also don't understand why girls wear pants with the word 'juciy' written across the butt.

Peggy Orenstein's book is a good look at the effects and causes of girlie-girl culture. If you are a Twilight...more
Melissa
I read this book in one sitting, and then immediately fell to the floor to give thanks that I have a son rather than a daughter. It was hard enough for me to grow up in an era that did not involve sexting, facebook, Disney princesses, and pop stars who are marketed to little girls & also gyrate on stripper poles during their concerts. On one hand, I think the woman that Orenstein (and, I assume, all my friends who have daughters) wants her daughter to be cannot exist. This uber-woman who wou...more
Tracy
I loved this book. Orenstein's combination of research with memoir is very effective. It was easy to connect with her on a personal level (and believe me, I did, seeing as we share many of the same anxieties about raising daughters), but every story that Orenstein starts as an intimate tale of parenting she then backs up with solid facts and studies. Some readers might be disappointed that this book offers little in the way of solutions to the problems posed, but that is not what this is about....more
Elizabeth
this is an interesting look at the effects of raising a daughter on the ideal of the princess: a woman's role is to be beautiful and looked at, but never to think and be strong. orenstein does not allow her daughter to own barbie dolls or princess dolls of any kind, but i feel this is unrealistic in many ways as well.

i think the material here is good for mothers of little girls, but i also want to research some of the long-term effects (if any) myself. i mean, i think we've all grown up with exp...more
Coqueline
The book deals with the issue that is very dear to me, as mother of a 5 year old, who has begun to embrace pink and princesses.

The book was a fast and enjoyable read, but lacking in conclusion, which make it sounds more like a compilation of blog posts than an actual book. I thoroughly enjoyed the parts where she went researching, getting professional insights and putting in historical context to the issue, but find it bewildering when she started to relate them to her own daughter and parenting...more
Lara
This one was just okay for me. While she does make some great points about postmodern girlhood, many of her views are just as reactionary as the ones she criticizes. I actually could not finish this one because I kept getting annoyed with her logic. For instance, she criticizes Barbies, American Girl dolls, and baby dolls as being too limiting in the way they portray gender. Then, she discusses buying her daughter toy guns and Thomas the Train gear. Is she not just pushing her daughter into the...more
E
Mar 02, 2012 E rated it 5 of 5 stars
Shelves: politics
When I was growing up, I had a hard time remembering that McDonald's and Disney were not the same company. I still have a hard time remembering that. Both aggressively market products few can spend their entire lives resisting because their advertising budgets are unrivaled and because they have mastered the recipes for broad appeal. Both are aggressively exported to other countries, representing all that is optimistic, colorful, unsubtle and unhealthy about America. Both are harmless in small d...more
Meg
I appreciated that the author was honest about the fact that she was wrestling with some of the very same issues I am as the mother of a 3-year-old girl -- how to navigate the girlie-girl culture while keeping her a little girl with a smart head on her shoulders, a confident heart, and equipped for the "real" world. The author bashed just about everything out there, but ended with good advice.
page 192:
"...our role is not to keep the world at bay but to prepare our daughters so they can thrive wi...more
Sarah Jo
Part memoir, part critique, mostly rant, Cinderella Ate My Daughter is one woman's journey through what the world offers to girls. I am just as disgusted with the sassy, inappropriate toys and movies that are marketed to all children, not just girls, but I think her points are not well supported and her writing is so bad. It's easy to get lost in her writing with all the run-on sentences, hyphenated phrases, and parenthetical phrases. I found some of her interviews interesting, but for the most...more
Rae
I really enjoyed this look at what the princess culture might mean for mothers and daughters in this day and age. Some of the chapters really made me think, others made me cringe. I will need to reread this book again to get the full effect of what Orenstein is saying. Which is good in a book.

As for the kindle edition - which is what I ready - I was saddened when the book was over at only 63% because of all the annotations, bibliography, and index. The index is what did the book in and since th...more
Krista
Read. This.



Orenstein won me over whole-heartedly in this book when she ripped Bella Swan to shreds. Bella Swan is a twit to end all twits. Queen of the pathetic. Least of the lame. Why. Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy?



We have a lot to do, ladies. A long way to go. Still.
Andrea Wahle
I'm going to be really picky here, but how do I trust someone who is supposed to have "read the research" and gets major points wrong? In the chapter entitled "It's All About the Cape" she calls Big Barda's husband Mr. Miracle a milquetoast - she is stronger than him and very protective of him, but that does not mean he is weak. She also asserts that Wonder Woman's mother is Hera - the queen of the Amazons. sigh. That would be Hippolyta. Hera is the wife of Zeus - a goddess and considered the qu...more
Melissa
Is this book perfect? No. Is it awesome? Yes.

I honestly expected this to be a little more harsh in its princess bashing, and I was OK with that. But Peggy Orenstein is quite thoughtful in her critique. Some other reviewers criticize her for not offering more satisfying solutions in her book. I think they kind of missed the point. Cinderella Ate My Daughter is more of Orentstein's own personal quandary about raising a confident daughter in a very tricky landscape.If she had preached to me about "...more
Eva
Interesting and well-written...but I was somehow expecting more. Kindle quotes:

During those months, I must have started a million sentences with “My daughter will never . . .” And then I became a mother. - location 59

one of her classmates, the one with Two Mommies, showed up to school every single day dressed in a Cinderella gown. With a bridal veil. - location 75

As my little girl made her daily beeline for the dress-up corner of her preschool classroom, I fretted over what playing Little Mermai...more
Susan
I wanted to like Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture. It looks like the kind of book I'd enjoy - a discussion about raising girls in our culture, yadda yadda yadda. Unfortunately, it falls flat.

Peggy Orenstein begins by bemoaning Disney Princesses. They aspire to nothing more than good looks and a handsome prince. For Pete's sake, the little mermaid gives up her voice to get a man! (this is mentioned about 10 times, I think). Then the author...more
Hannah Wingfield
I have to thank my friend Katie for lending me this book as she (correctly) thought it was relevant to my interests – feminism, parenting, rants – it’s all good. Cinderella Ate My Daughter sets out to analyse the implications of the “girlie girl” culture that surrounds modern female children, and in doing so takes a long look at the sexualisation and the commodification of childhood. (Word is telling me sexualisation and commodification are not words, but I’m sure they are. If not, then blame my...more
Gail
I would love to lock Peggy Orenstein in a room with the authors of “Taming Your Alpha Bitch.” I picture her melting the women with the heat of her wordless disapproving stare, the female misogynists dissolving into fairy-tale-esque piles of snug-fitting skirt suits and spiked heels. She writes of mothers’ struggle to “guide their daughters to an authentic, unconflicted balance of feminism and femininity, one that will sustain rather than constrain them.” In prose that generally flows but tends t...more
Mary
The author writes on the theory that the girlie-girl princess culture that has been developing during the last decade is actually not as protective of childhood and innocence as we hope it to be, but that it actually opens windows to early sexualization and unhealthy body images/self-esteem.

It's a pretty feminist book, and makes some pretty good points. Here is the author's recommendation on how to raise girls with a healthy self-image:

----Stress what your daughter's body can do over how it is d...more
Dimity
Cinderella Ate My Daughter was an entertaining read, but it’s not really a “stick to your ribs” type of nonfiction. Orenstein is a journalist and she writes like one. I generally find that journalists write very accessible and entertaining books that cover a wide shallow pond instead of a deep well. Although I often enjoy that sort of cherry picked light analysis for topics I am just fleetingly interested in, I found it deeply unsatisfying for her subject material. I am concerned about this topi...more
Christina Wilder
It's a scary time to be a little girl.

Sure, that's an unfair statement, as is it ever safe to be a little girl? Still, we have the Paris Hiltons and Kim Kardashians (and the Snookis!) famous for being famous, plus princess stuff EVERYWHERE. I've always detested the nickname princess as it suggests a royal girl who has people waiting on her hand and foot as she waits for her prince. Fuck that, I say.

So what's great about this book? It takes a damn close look at what the author deems "the girlie-g...more
Sara
I wanted to read this book first off to maybe gain a bit of insight into the mind of a young girl in the current society. I guess I just assumed it was so much different than when I was growing up (I'm only turning 30 in March, so I'm not that old) because everyone laments on and on about how society is different and jesus- look at all of these sexed up and pregnant teenage girls cursing up a storm. Obviously, I don't want any of these things for my own daughter and I have enough brains to know...more
Elizabeth Hall Magill
So I just read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, by Peggy Orenstein. Reading this book was like having a long, open discussion with a friend, another writer/mom who is trying to raise a daughter with consciousness and confidence. Ms. Orenstein examines all the major media influences with which girls must contend, from princesses to Facebook and everything in between. At times, I wanted to tell her to relax, it’ll all be okay—she’s a good mom, and she’s raising her child with awareness and love, which...more
Dawn
As the mother of one "girlie-girl" and one "tomboy", I was interested to read this book about the potential effects of the new "Girlie-Girl" culture.

How disappointing! The author writes in the gossipy, girlfriendish tone of the overprotective mom-next-door. There are many anecdotes from the lives of her friends (she stops to note one whose body she envies), but little real research. Most of the book seemed extreme and over-the-top. If anything, I finished the book more assured that I should let...more
Alex
Jun 28, 2012 Alex rated it 3 of 5 stars
Shelves: 2012
I was so looking forward to this book. I have a bizarre fascination with girl culture that I myself have never quite understood, especially images shot out to young girls/tweenagers (princesses, Disney Channel sitcoms, etc). So when I saw this book, I was so excited because I thought, "Hooray! A book suited to my interests!" And to be fair Orenstein offers good critiques of the subject, covering things from fat-shaming to Facebook.
However, I had a few problems with the structure of the book. It...more
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Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture (ebook)
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Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Frontlines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture (Kindle Edition)
Cinderella Ate My Daughter (Audio)
Cinderella Ate My Daughter (Audio)

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Peggy Orenstein is the author, most recently, of Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture. Her previous books include The New York Times best-selling memoir, Waiting for Daisy; Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Kids, Love and Life in a Half-Changed World; and the best-selling SchoolGirls: Young Women, Self-Esteem and the Confidence Gap. A contributing writ...more
More about Peggy Orenstein...
Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night, and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids, and Life in a Half-Changed World Women On Work, Love, Children And Life When We Were Free to Be: Looking Back at a Children's Classic and the Difference It Made

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“But it is Bella, not the supernaturals she falls in with, who is the true horror show here, at least as a female role model.” 14 people liked it
“There is only one princess in the Disney tales, one girl who gets to be exalted. Princesses may confide in a sympathetic mouse or teacup, but they do not have girlfriends. God forbid Snow White should give Sleeping Beauty a little support. Let's review: princesses avoid female bonding. Their goals are to be saved by a prince, get married, and be taken care of the rest of their lives.” 4 people liked it
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