Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World

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Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World

3.86 of 5 stars 3.86 · rating details · 5,829 ratings · 775 reviews

“I move throughout the world without a plan, guided by instinct, connecting through trust, and constantly watching for serendipitous opportunities.” —From the Preface

Tales of a Female Nomad is the story of Rita Golden Gelman, an ordinary woman who is living an extraordinary existence. At the age of forty-eight, on the verge of a divorce, Rita left an elegant life in L.A. t...more

Paperback, 320 pages

Published May 28th 2002 by Broadway (first published May 22nd 2001)

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Feb 19, 2012 Leslie Kastner rated it 1 of 5 stars

I disliked this book so much that I couldn't even finish it. It's a memoir - but written in present tense - which drives me crazy. The processing is superficial and dull.

7 likes · like · see review

Jan 30, 2008 John rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: bookclub

This is one of those memoirs that is all about ME. I did this, and then I did that, and then I did this. And that might be okay, if not for the fact that everyone is Gelman's book is infinitely more interesting than she. It's like being stuck on a tour bus with a chatty guide who is more interested in telling you about her experiences than anything you're seeing. Meanwhile, all the sights go streaming by.

Gelman is the ultimate unreliable narrator -- she's kind of pushy, obnoxious, and self-cente...more

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Sep 16, 2008 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: readers of Eat, Pray, Love

Recommended to Jennifer by: pri

Life as a confident independent woman has its rewards. Inspiring tales from the road and the kitchen, and makes me want to email Ms. Gelman, renew my passport, and pack a bag.

4 likes · like · see review

Jul 29, 2007 Taylor rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: women, travelers, anthropologists

Shelves: non-fiction, own, given, real-people, ramble-on, just-like-a-woman, women-writers

At the age of forty, Rita Golden Gelman has something of an epiphany. She no longer wants to live the life of luxury that she has been - fancy dinner parties, awards ceremonies, etc. She decides it's never what she wanted in the first place. She begins to pursue a degree in anthropology, which begins to put a strain on an already not so stable marriage.

At the end of the program, she has to go live in a community for awhile, and she and her husband decide to take a two month break while she does...more At the age of forty, Rita Golden Gelman has something of an epiphany. She no longer wants to live the life of luxury that she has been - fancy dinner parties, awards ceremonies, etc. She decides it's never what she wanted in the first place. She begins to pursue a degree in anthropology, which begins to put a strain on an already not so stable marriage.

At the end of the program, she has to go live in a community for awhile, and she and her husband decide to take a two month break while she does this. She decides that she wants to live in a Zapotec village in Mexico. She, of course, goes through the initial fears that anyone has traveling alone, as well as fears about her marriage. But she comes to love the village and finds living a life of teaching english, cooking, hiking, dancing, speaking with the people in the village to be all that she hoped it would.

After two months, her husband asks for two more, and she goes to Guatemala. After those two months, she returns home changed, but willing to make her marriage work, only to hear the first words out of her husband's mouth are that he wants a divorce and he's already called a lawyer. She takes this time to sell all of her belongings to him (they come up with a monetary value for all their possessions and he gives her half of that), set up a separate bank account and automatic bill pay, hire a bookkeeper, and begin her life as a nomad.

She visits a slew of countries - the politically torn Nicaragua, many islands in Indonesia (she uses Bali as a primary base for 8 years), Thailand, New Zealand, and her stories make you want to visit all of them, and make you want to meet some of the same people that she does. I can't even name a favorite anecdote from the book, because there are lots of great ones. I really liked learning about how Balinese people handle a death. I also liked that the people in Bali have a community - everyone in the community is there to support everyone, they're there to help cook, clean, construct, be there for anyone in the community. Everyone is obligated to help out others, and when their time of need comes, everyone else is obligated to help them. It's like a big neighborhood support group for a variety of occasions, and I love that idea.

It's a pretty quick read - because she's normally a children's author, the language she uses is rather simple and easy to digest, but not devoid of interest. She has great description skills, particularly in relation to her surroundings - though I do wish she had spent more time describing the people, but the book came out in 2001 and she did all this in the '80s and '90s, so I'm sure some people's faces started to dissolve.

Other than that, my only other complaint was that there were some places she visited that she didn't write much about, I would've liked to hear more. However, she apparently writes about them on the website she's set up for documenting her continuous travels (right now she's in Seattle!, where her daughter lives). She also set up an e-mail address and says that she will respond to every e-mail. amazing!(less)

5 likes · like · see review

May 04, 2009 Quiltgranny rated it 1 of 5 stars

No! Absolutely NOT! I will not continue to waste my time with this woman who completely missed the point of her "nomadic life" with other cultures.

Another reviewer remarked, "This is one of those memoirs that is all about ME. I did this, and then I did that, and then I did this. And that might be okay, if not for the fact that everyone is Gelman's book is infinitely more interesting than she. It's like being stuck on a tour bus with a chatty guide who is more interested in telling you about her...more

8 likes · like · see review

Mar 18, 2011 VeganMedusa rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: bc-copy, non-fiction

I hated this book. Probably because I expected to really like it. The author wasn't very likeable for me, and I didn't like her exploits. She's also not a true nomad, having a good income from her books and being able to fly back to visit her children whenever she wanted, and staying in one place for years at a time without having to wash dishes for a living.
The incident in Guatemala when her host was beating his wife creeped me out: "I can't interfere, that's her destiny". Bullshit.
And then i...more I hated this book. Probably because I expected to really like it. The author wasn't very likeable for me, and I didn't like her exploits. She's also not a true nomad, having a good income from her books and being able to fly back to visit her children whenever she wanted, and staying in one place for years at a time without having to wash dishes for a living.
The incident in Guatemala when her host was beating his wife creeped me out: "I can't interfere, that's her destiny". Bullshit.
And then in Bali, where she wasn't comfortable with the way women were second-class citizens but was happy to live as a guest with the prince for two years. Eating meals with the prince alone, because his wives don't eat with him. She spouts the philosophy of wanting to know the people and 'be one with them' (which she often seems to equate to just wearing their clothes and eating their food) but is also happy to be treated differently as a foreigner when it's more comfortable, and use her special status as a foreigner to get special treatment. When she ran into the tribespeople in remote Borneo and wanted to go off with them (to be one with them, no doubt) I was thinking "Run! Get away from her, you poor sods!"
She seems like such an annoying person! At the beginning of the book she talked about her great life, hobnobbing with celebrities and going to premieres. Then when she'd realised how hollow that life was and went off and worked for a children's charity in Guatemala, she went back to LA for a visit and all she could talk about was the great work she was doing for the children, how fulfilling, how empty and shallow is the LA lifestyle etc. No wonder she lost all her friends!
And people who go off to exotic places searching for a spiritual awakening really annoy me - it's only because it's exotic that you're falling for it, it's the same old mumbo jumbo all over the world, just different small print.
I only kept reading because I wanted to read the Galapagos and NZ chapters. So the NZ chapter made me realise how little real info she's giving on all the places she visits. It's all about her, really. Which wouldn't have annoyed me so much if I'd expected this to be a memoir, but I expected it to be more about the places she visited.
It just seemed that she was happy to insinuate herself into people's lives, always expecting them to accommodate her, but not noticing the disruption to their lives she was causing (like the women in Guatemala having to protect her from their husbands). And it's all because she believes that you should give and receive favours. So she's okay with accepting hospitality from all these people because she reasons that she'll do favours for other people when she can. Hmm, but when, if she's always going to be the guest and never have her own place and receive guests? Basically she's a freeloader - she'll teach you some English and read her books to your children in return for all the food and accommodation and getting to watch your sacred burial ceremonies, etc.
Having said all that, I admire her for actually leaving her old lifestyle, which seemed to be a strange thing to do in her world given how many people kept telling her she was crazy (in my world 90% of people would be telling you it was a great thing to do and that they'd love to do it too!). And for actually making an effort to learn the languages.(less)

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May 16, 2008 Leah rated it 2 of 5 stars

Ok, i admit, I have not finished reading this book yet. She is a bit long winded and slightly self centered in the fact that her focus seams to mainly be concerned with herself. I know its a book about her journeys, so that is supposed to present in the book...but i don't know...whenever she does selfless acts, it seams like its not really self-less. This is just my opinion. She really lost my will to continue on in the chapter where she talked about the Zapotec village. Her hostess was beaten r...more

6 likes · like · see review

Jan 15, 2008 Lidia rated it 2 of 5 stars

Full disclosure - I'm much harder on non-fiction than fiction.

I appreciate the relative bravery it takes to just get rid of everything and travel the world, but it's a lot easier if you're a writer like Rita Goldman. I might just be in a place where I'm looking for a more realistic take on long term traveling, so this was disappointing in that respect. I really couldn't get over the fact that she's a children's author and is able to keep working on books as she's abroad. I'd love to be able to...more

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Nov 25, 2008 Lena rated it 4 of 5 stars

Four stars because I love travel writing from a female perspective. I relate to Rita a lot as she discusses her anthropology background and how this affects her approach to travel and interacting with locals. I also appreciate her sense of adventure and ability to laugh at herself. But I do agree with others that her writing is very self-indulgent and I rolled my eyes a few times. I felt the same way about Eat, Pray, Love. I wish I had the money and lack of responsibility to live and travel like...more

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Apr 08, 2013 Tina Cipolla rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book gets a 3-star rating from me. I was excited to read this non-fiction memoir of a woman's travels, with its descriptions of exotic locations--mainly ones I have no interest in visiting in real life, so it was like living vicariously thorough the author and being able to escape into the destinations she visits in the book. Therein lies the downfall of the book for me. As I was seeing things through this author's eyes, she began doing things in which I as the reader starting internally sc...more

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Jan 19, 2013 Jennifer Morley rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: travel, feminist, non-fiction

I picked this up in an airport on my way to visit my parents in Oregon, thinking it would be a mildly interesting or at least entertaining read to pass the hours. At the end of my flight, I realized I'd stumbled upon a little trove of adventurous, feminist travel writing. Not unlike the premise of Eat, Pray, Love, the author begins her journey with a divorce from her husband, with whom she had shared a highly cultured urban lifestyle of privilege. She also divorces the woman she had become in th...more

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Jun 12, 2011 Janet Tran rated it 2 of 5 stars

i really wanted to like this. i read it on a journey of my own to Australia and thought that i would revel in another independent woman's travels.

instead, the author essentially preaches that she has found a more enlightened way of living than the rest of us.

all of us can wander and be free just like rita. however, she does not point out, but we the readers have to infer, that she spent a few decades as a "kept woman" who did not need to earn a real income to raise her children. in fact, her h...more

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Jan 24, 2011 Linda rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book did not begin for me until Ms. Gelman arrived in the Galapagos Islands and achieved “total freedom.” From this point forward, I was intrigued with how ingenious she was about getting hosted by various government entities, and families about the globe using her children books as her calling card. Trusting in herself and her instincts and in the kindness of strangers, she takes exotic and exciting treks for a fraction of the cost it would take the average person. Being an amateur anthrop...more

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Dec 31, 2010 Catherine rated it 3 of 5 stars

At the beginning I was worried because Rita spends so little time in communities and with people and didn't seem to connect in any kind of permanent way. I mean, what kind of lessons can you learn if you visit and observe but don't build any kind of lasting relationships? It was a little like cultural one-night stands. And then there was the fact that she essentially abandoned her children. Sure they were both in college and beyond, but as she finally admits they still needed mothering. I don't...more

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Apr 10, 2009 Noel rated it 4 of 5 stars

I am a person who loves to travel and I've done my share of traveling -- I'm still jealous. To be able to get up and go, to leave your known world for a bit of the unknown, seems like a luxury that most of can't afford - either because of financial issues, or lack of time, or the responsibilities of real life that bind us to our homes. What I liked about this memoir was Rita's personal journey. Her first trip was to close-by Mexico and, yes, she did go to live in a village, but the Mexican cultu...more

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Aug 11, 2009 Michelle rated it 5 of 5 stars

Great stories about the author and her life abroad. Oh, let's not forget that she decided to set out and do this at the ripe age of 47. Detailed accounts of her trip piqued my travel thoughts and made me want to go to this amazing places. She has an interesting perspective on life and i enjoy how sometimes she questions them along the way. She basically travels to live in other cultures and integrate herself into their daily life.

I find the favor bank idea interesting. Here's an excerpt, "The '...more

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May 05, 2013 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Wow Rita--,way to go-!! I greatly admire Rita as she courageously and fearlessly follows and realizes her dreams~Her kids are grown, her marriage stagnant-- she decides it is time for change -- She needs a short break, which winds up being of longer duration than planned and leads her into the unknown where fabulous experiences abound as Rita travels the world and immerses herself into the cultures in which she finds herself. She is not a tourist-- an onlooker-- she lives the dream ! I love how...more

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Apr 05, 2013 Roberta rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, travel-adventure

This was a book club selection otherwise I probably wouldn't have finished it.

I found it frustrating. Here is a writer in interesting parts of the world and what I mostly learn about is her. And it's not even that reflective or insightful. If you are going to talk about yourself, you need to make it interesting, not just a string of descriptions and anecdotes. I can't even begin to say how irritating I found her pious refelction that she couldn't interfere in a wife-beating incident, because she...more

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Jun 20, 2009 Wendy Welch rated it 1 of 5 stars

Sigh . . . another person whose life is in upheaval decides she needs to know what the simple folk do, and goes a-traveling. The most tragicomic moment of complete un-self-awareness comes when the author reckons up what it would take to live in deep south Mexico for a year and decides it would be as little as $15,000!

Honeybun, there are women raising five kids on one third of that where you were. And they're lucky.

If this had been a male writer and about martial arts, it would've been the book A...more

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Mar 27, 2010 Alyson rated it 2 of 5 stars

While the concept is quite amazing and Gelman's courage is inspiring, the composition of this novel is disappointing. The fact that Gelman is a children's book writer is quite evident. This book reads like a mediocre college application essay. I enjoyed reading of places I had never before heard of and would recommend this to anyone interested in world travel. However, if you are a critical or cynical reader (as I am) you may be annoyed with her simple "revelations" and writing style. It seems t...more

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Jun 13, 2011 Victoria rated it 3 of 5 stars

Gelman, when her long term marriage comes to an end and her children have grown up, finally is able ask her fifty year old self just what is it she wants out of life. With very little hesitation, she packs a bag and goes to Mexico where she ends up living in a Zapotec village.

Golden has an anthropology degree and is interested in experiencing other cultures from the inside. From Mexico she takes her readers to Guatemala, Nicaragua, Israel, the Galapagos Islands, Indonesia, New Zealand and Thail...more

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Jun 05, 2012 Kerstin rated it 4 of 5 stars

I picked this book up on a whim while perusing a book store. What an adventure! I loved this book! Rita certainly had the courage and adventurous spirit to up and leave her family, friends, and familiar surroundings. I don't think I could do what she did, but I loved being an armchair traveller with her.

The book captivated me and I felt I was right there with her in Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Israel, Indonesia, and so many more places. It made me rethink a few vacation destinations. Rita (a c...more

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Jun 22, 2012 Dorothy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: book-club

Congratulations, Rita Golden Gelman! You are the first author who has made me turn to the back cover while reading and repeatedly flick your author photo with my finger while saying aloud, "You fat, stupid jerk!!" (why "fat", I don't know. I'm overweight, too, so I can't really go around calling people fat. Oh, wait -- yes I can!)

I'm feeling generous. I'll give this book 2 stars because it was a compelling train wreck of a read, and I'm going to let go of most of my ire at this woman. Why? I'm t...more

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Feb 25, 2011 Jill Furedy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I read this one long before I got to Eat Pray Love. It's kind of the same book...the author's marriage dissolves and she realizes she's free to travel the way she always dreamed of. She moves into villages without speaking the language, she lives in a palace with a prince in Bali, she studies orangutans in the rainforests of Borneo. I like the idea of traveling, but not the reality of that type of travel (I know, I'm boring, I'm okay with it), so I liked reading about someone brave enough to do...more

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Jan 05, 2008 Suzq! rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: culture

I saw this book on an endtable at the home of two women...one of them had traveled fairly extensively - or so the masks on her walls implied. They were both in their early 30s.

After reading almost straight through this book - I - well - I was inspired. I am not sure if the writing itself is brilliant...but what she DID is encouraging for people/women who haven't ....done.

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Jul 25, 2010 Therese rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

I disliked this woman from the first page. Flaky, self-aggrandizing, selfish. "I prefer soup kitchens to charity banquets" and "all my friends were too white and too American." But I kept reading.
And I disliked her more. The kind of mother who stops mothering when her kids reach 18, living a life where they cannot possibly contact her for help or support. The kind of woman who watches a Mexican man beat his wife and thinks, "Well thats just their culture, I shouldn't interfer" but is incensed by...more

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Jun 25, 2009 Ann rated it 3 of 5 stars

I would have given this book 2 stars but found Rita's website where she is actually trying to do some good work.

I was appalled by this book. Maybe I missed something. Rita leaves her husband and her children to travel the world. And all she seems to learn is serenity. She brags about giving her books or a used car to help impoverished communities. She visits out of the way villages all over the world and seems to think these communities have some great desire to adopt her.

I do not understand ho...more

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Feb 21, 2008 Happyreader rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: bio-and-memoir, travel, women-of-interest

This woman just dove right in. OK, first she got a Masters in Anthropology to get a taste but then she dove right in. She completely immersed herself in the cultures. Lived in a remote Mexican village with the villagers. Went into the Indonesian forests and learned the language, no easy feat. Gave up her cushy LA lifestyle and never looked back.

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Aug 01, 2012 Anne rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: must-read

In two minds about this book - any women travelling books are brilliant and inspiring, and can pave the way for any women nervous about stepping out alone.
This book has a promising start, escape from a failed marriage and wanting more from life.
However I found it hard to stay with as it seemed to jump around - by the end of the book I can't say I felt like I knew Rita any better than at the start, other than that I didn't take to her self-centered statements - I didn't find many personal insigh...more

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Aug 24, 2008 Tonia added it

Highly, highly recommended. It's one woman's journey to discover what is beautiful and right with the world after going through a divorce. Gorgeously written you feel like you are there with her as she migrates from Mexico to Guatemala to Indonesia. I can only hope to have experiences as personal and touching as these.

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Quotes from Tales of a Female Noma...

“When we are finished the little boy walks over to me and looks up at my chest. Then he reaches up and cups my breast in his hand. The mother comes over and does the same thing with my other breast. Yes I am the same I nod. Look. I pull up my shirt and unhook my bra. My breasts pop out and they both smile.

I think about the Zapotec village in Mexico where I was not accepted until I was wearing their clothes and the Balinese ceremonies I would never have attended in anything but a kebaya and a sarong. I smile when I realize that if I were to live here I would walk around topless. If I weren't with three westerners I would do it right now.” — 2 people liked it

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