Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Apr 26, 2013 Stephanie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: psycology, personality, 2012

March 6th was Super Tuesday and I live in that Oh-so-much-talked-about-battle-ground-state of Ohio. I work the elections as a Ballot Judge, which means I hand out the ballots to the voters and give them instructions. I get to talk and talk, for 13 hours straight *sigh*. I try to make it entertaining for the voters, myself and the others I work with because of its repetition, but by 7:30 pm when the polls close I don’t think the language I was using was English.

My spiel went something like this……...more

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Apr 24, 2012 Grumpus rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobook, science

What an affirmation! While listening to this book, I was constantly reminded of Al Franken’s Saturday Night Live character, Stuart Smalley, and his mantra, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Well, those who understand me do. Full disclosure, according to the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, I’m an ISFJ.

There were so many points of affirmation for me—things I intuitively knew. Things I’ve tried to share with others mostly to no avail. This book supplies all the dat...more What an affirmation! While listening to this book, I was constantly reminded of Al Franken’s Saturday Night Live character, Stuart Smalley, and his mantra, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Well, those who understand me do. Full disclosure, according to the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, I’m an ISFJ.

There were so many points of affirmation for me—things I intuitively knew. Things I’ve tried to share with others mostly to no avail. This book supplies all the data I need to support my case. Unfortunately, I don’t think the people who need to read/listen this book (extroverts) will.

The book is not an “introverts are superior” diatribe but rather an explanation of how we can leverage personality types most effectively. There is no right or best personality type but like life in general, we need to understand each other for more harmonious relationships. Whether these relationships are family, work, or social, applications of understanding are documented throughout the book.

There was one example in the book that hit particularly close to home. Although SAT or IQ scores do not support it, people who talk more are perceived as leaders. And, which personality type talks more? Extroverts. Now, assume that both extroverts and introverts have an equal amount of good ideas. Who is going to get their way more? Extroverts. This could be dangerous because they’re going to get their way more meaning that many of their bad ideas are also going to be implemented.

Oh, another thing I intuitively knew but now have support for is brainstorming sessions. Studies show the larger the number of people involved in a session, the less effective they are. A 9-member group is less effective than a 6-member group which is less than effective than a 4-member group which is less effective than a 2-member group. The suggestion is to conduct brainstorming sessions electronically. Collect comments and then share them anonymously and build from there. One of the reasons is that most introverts are better writers than speakers.

Other examples from the business world give tips for how both introverted and extroverted leaders can best work with their subordinates of each type. Take advantage of each of their strengths. Such as how studies show that introverts “inspect” and extroverts “react”. Neither adjective should be taken as derogatory but instead as strengths. Allow introverts time to examine and solve. Studies show they are more persistent trying to solve unsolvable problems. The famous introvert, Albert Einstein said, “It is not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” My hero.

A final word on the narration—fantastic. If you have the opportunity to listen rather than read this book, I would strongly recommend going with the audio format. Kathe Mazur does a perfect narration in a “Quiet”, calm, soothing voice. Very appropriate “in a noisy world that can’t stop talking”.

(less)

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Apr 19, 2013 Megan Baxter rated it 3 of 5 stars

There's a real pleasure in recognition. Hearing about yourself, finding out you're not alone, it can be a huge relief and release. And so, as a long-time (although fairly gregarious) introvert, I enjoyed this book quite a bit. Not much of it was truly surprising, but still, it's nice to read a book that validates the way I tend to operate anyway.

And the section on over- and under-stimulation I found very useful. Having just come off of a very overstimulated week, I'm enjoying cocooning at home...more There's a real pleasure in recognition. Hearing about yourself, finding out you're not alone, it can be a huge relief and release. And so, as a long-time (although fairly gregarious) introvert, I enjoyed this book quite a bit. Not much of it was truly surprising, but still, it's nice to read a book that validates the way I tend to operate anyway.

And the section on over- and under-stimulation I found very useful. Having just come off of a very overstimulated week, I'm enjoying cocooning at home and doing some editing this week. The way she presented it gave me some good ideas for trying to build in moments of quiet. And to better understand why, when I've been at a conference all day, sometimes I can't stand the thought of being around another person and avoid the social events to take myself out for supper with a book.

None of this was revolutionary, but it was presented in such a way that was very helpful.

Similarly, her section on workspaces was really excellent. And by excellent, I mean I identified so strongly with every bit of it. It let me think about the various places I've worked, and which ones made me very stressed - and that was often half because I had a boss who was unpleasant to work for, and half because the open concept workspace made me jumpy and overstimulated.

On the other hand, she does tend to conflate introversion with high reactivity. I'm both, so I enjoyed it, but it does sometimes tend to steer this book away from being about introversion, and towards high sensitivity to external stimuli. The correlation isn't known - she points out that while 70% of people who are high reactive are introverts, no corresponding study has been done to see how many introverts are high reactive.

So, for a couple of chapters, we drifted away from introversion to high reactivity-presented-as-though-it-were-synonymous-with-introversion, although she had acknowledged we don't really know that yet.

In that section, I was most struck by something I hadn't heard about highly sensitive people - how much their later mental health depends on parenting. Makes me want to call my Mom and thank her (again!) for how she and Dad raised me.

I don't know how much all this science holds up - I'm not really qualified to judge. But much of it resonated with my personal experience, and that always inclines me to like a book. It's not one I need to own, or read again, but it was a validating read.

I'd be interested to see what the reactions of introverted readers of this book were compared to the reactions of extroverted readers.

Crossposted to Smorgasbook (less)

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Mar 22, 2013 Madeleine rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: let-us-now-speak-of-great-men, head-in-the-clouds-nose-in-a-book, our-libeary, mmxiii

Like the friend whose brutal honesty is never immediately welcome but reveals its necessary truths the more you bitterly and obsessively try to prove her wrong (in your head, of course, always in your head because no one else understands, damnit), this book made me confront things about myself that I always kind of knew but glossed over with conciliatory explanations.

I am, according to the battery of Myers-Briggs tests that Dr. Internet has administered to me (and that offer the same result no...more Like the friend whose brutal honesty is never immediately welcome but reveals its necessary truths the more you bitterly and obsessively try to prove her wrong (in your head, of course, always in your head because no one else understands, damnit), this book made me confront things about myself that I always kind of knew but glossed over with conciliatory explanations.

I am, according to the battery of Myers-Briggs tests that Dr. Internet has administered to me (and that offer the same result no matter how cleverly I think I've outsmarted the aforementioned countless variations of personality assessments), of the INFP persuasion, just like Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath were presumed to be, along with many other notable people who haven't killed themselves (like Tim Burton, Billy Shakes and Albert Camus). All sources stress that it's one of the rarer personality types, which at least begins to explain why I feel so interminably weird compared to other people all the time.

But I think my introversion also comes with a tinge of self-loathing, for as much as I dislike the idea of being around crowds of people to the extent that I always took those commercials advertising a pill to treat social anxiety as a personal attack on my personality, my stuttering, socially awkward self who identifies with the fictional characters and real ideas populating book after book better than the world beyond my front door is also maddeningly, desperately eager to be the center of attention. Not that I always know what to do with that attention once I get it, as it's fun for about five minutes before the urge to dive for solitary cover re-assumes control. And I think I tend to resent well-adjusted introverts a little for their totally-alien-to-me experience of being comfortable in their own skins.

Which brings us to my biggest problem with this book: The author was entirely too present in this study on introverts. I know, I know: My reviews have gotten to be so totally about me that I feel like a hypocritical dick lobbing such a complaint at this presumably well-meaning book. When I read This is Your Brain on Music, I got so pissed off at the reviewers who complained similarly about how Levitin frequently drew on his own experiences because, c'mon, personal experience counts for something while lending a sense of credibility to the research conducted and the conclusions made: The difference, I think, is that Levitin used himself to bring a high-minded concept down to understandable terms for those of us lacking scientific minds whereas Cain sometimes seemed like she just wanted to talk about herself. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but that would have made a better blog than a book. By falling back on her own brand of introversion, it felt like she was both negating the argument that the personality type expresses itself in an inexhaustibly many ways and also even alienating other expressions of introversion to a degree.

Actually, I wasn't always crazy about the kind of people Cain used as examples of introverts who were able to overcome their crippling shyness or need to be alone (because shyness isn't always an introvert-specific trait, as this book did teach me) to function -- nay, thrive -- in the vast, sometimes overwhelming world beyond their rich inner landscapes. I mean, for a book subtitled "The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," it would make sense to use Harvard Business School students, Ivy League professors, academic whiz kids on the cusp of high school and everything after, neuroscientists and Wall Street investors (to name a few) to illustrate the victories that can arise from harnessing one's naturally unassuming, slow-to-action instincts and applying them to real-world scenarios. And that was reassuring and motivating and helpful, sure, but what would have been a little more helpful is seeing how an everyday introvert with a quiet job and a simple existence confronts life's obstacles when confrontation does not come easy.

(And, yes, there is a whole section on the ordinary workplace and how open floor plans and the elimination of boundaries and this emphasis on group work and collective brainstorming that are all so in vogue really aren't all that conducive to brilliance and happiness and cohesion and all that. But that was more of an academically detached observation than a personal reality.)

I really didn't hate this book. Really. I didn't love it but it did force some personal insight on me that I've probably been needing to hear. Like how facing down one's own unique hell, like public speaking (which, hi, have I mentioned that I stutter?), isn't, like, fatal and is worth overcoming. And that just because the Western ideal favors extroverted characteristics doesn't mean it's better -- and that, in fact, a lot of how I approach the world (I'd rather not talk unless I have something worthwhile to say; I don't want to assert myself at the risk of disrespecting the greater whole) is mirrored in the traditionally Eastern approach. That the person speaking the most or first or loudest is rarely offering the best ideas, as a facade of overconfidence often hides an array of interior doubts. That knowing to pick one's battles and proceeding with a quiet assurance is a strength in its own right.

The penultimate chapter was nothing but an exploration of how extro- and introverts complement each other and how the two seemingly at-odds personality types can look inward to identify their outwardly differing approaches to the world. As most people are not like me, it did offer some perspective shifts that I found to be genuinely helpful wisdom in terms of how my perception of myself and others doesn't always align with what they either see or know to be true. For one glorious moment, it even seemed like Cain was talking directly to me in addressing the way that the real-life introverted wife of an extroverted man tended to emotionally distance herself from an argument, as she thought she was keeping herself in check while he thought she was shutting him out, which is a difference in interpretation that never even crossed my conflicted mind.

I had perused the table of contents before reading even a word of this book and actually groaned when I saw that the final chapter explores "how to cultivate quiet kids in a world that can't hear them," which I figured would read like a laundry list of all the ways my parents failed me. And, I mean, it did, of course, but after recovering from bursting into tears almost immediately at the beginning of the chapter (because, man, was it ever hitting too close to home), I realized that it was only ostensibly advice for nurturing introverted children so they can happily grow into their places in an ill-fitting world: It was really, truly a comforting pat on the back that reached into the past to assure my inner child (the part of it that isn't a perverted little teenage boy, anyway) that she was never as alone and misunderstood as she felt. And if this book had more of those moments, I might have actually wound up loving it. (less)

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Dec 17, 2012 Hanne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, shelf-a-ton-14

I always thought I was just weird...
I can be alone in my car for a 1h drive and not want to have the radio or music on. On sundays I often join the walking club for a long 25km walk, but I prefer to do it alone (and oh, all the pity looks you get!). The idea of surprise parties makes me sick to my stomach, and any event where a thousand people are together is possibly even worse. I dislike small talk, but I probably hate even more how nervous I get when I have to do it.
I can feel sad for a brui...more I always thought I was just weird...
I can be alone in my car for a 1h drive and not want to have the radio or music on. On sundays I often join the walking club for a long 25km walk, but I prefer to do it alone (and oh, all the pity looks you get!). The idea of surprise parties makes me sick to my stomach, and any event where a thousand people are together is possibly even worse. I dislike small talk, but I probably hate even more how nervous I get when I have to do it.
I can feel sad for a bruised tomato no-one wants to buy (hey, he tried his best too, not his fault someone dropped him!), and while everyone else goes to the modern, light apothecary across the street with the super nice people always happy to help, I go to the dark and older one who never has clients (how else will he survive?)

Turns out I'm not that weird. I'm just a full blood introvert.
And yet, I'm not what you think. I'm not particularly shy, I'm not the grey bird that never says a word and everyone forgets she's around. I'm very opinionated and quite stubborn, and when amongst friends I know well, I can be the loudest person in the room.
But still I'm introvert. After being with friends or colleagues, I need recharging time. I need to be alone. I (almost) always think before I talk. I enjoy getting to the bottom of things, I enjoy detective work. And I can go on and on.

While reading this book, on occasion I was nodding so hard I thought my head might fall off.
There were very little eye-opening surprises in this book, and even a few things I didn't agree with or I would have hoped for her to explore more. Even a few occasions I thought she was idealizing introverts. This book was not perfect, but somehow i feel that it was important for me to read it.

Overall, it was quite liberating. I'm not that weird! About a third of us on this planet (and on a website as Goodreads probably a LOT more) are more or less like me - not completely like me, I'm still unique (I insist!)
But that might not be an issue. Though some of you might recognize some of my examples above, I've never met someone before that can feel bad for a bruised tomato. So maybe i'm still little weird, and my own unique self. Hoorah(less)

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Apr 19, 2012 Sylvia rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: popular-psychology

As a true 'introvert' or as I would rather prefer to label it a true 'intermediate' ... a definite so-glad-I-read-it for me.
And yes, please; a bit of Quiet around me would be most Welcome so that I could Hear my own Quietness & Inner Senses ;-)

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Apr 15, 2013 Kelly rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 21st-century, owned, philosophy-theory-criticism, its-the-quiet-ones

In a twist that will surprise precisely no one, this book spends a fair amount of time cheering for introverts. What were the odds, right? I assume if you're picking this book up you're on board with that to a certain extent, and likely something of an introvert yourself.

This book is certainly for you-or for the perplexed extrovert or "pseudo-extrovert" that might be confused by your supposedly mysterious ways. It's a sort of shield, a blockade, a set of reinforced walls that Cain feels it is n...more In a twist that will surprise precisely no one, this book spends a fair amount of time cheering for introverts. What were the odds, right? I assume if you're picking this book up you're on board with that to a certain extent, and likely something of an introvert yourself.

This book is certainly for you-or for the perplexed extrovert or "pseudo-extrovert" that might be confused by your supposedly mysterious ways. It's a sort of shield, a blockade, a set of reinforced walls that Cain feels it is necessary to throw up around introverts (particularly American introverts) to protect them from the "Extrovered Ideal," of American socialization. The tone of the beginning of the book is thus rather defiant, like Cain is screaming back at everyone she has ever felt pressured by to go to a happy hour or to a dinner party when she had much rather just read a book instead. There's some of this kick-back throughout the book, with plenty of cathartic/sympathetic/rather relatable war stories from introverts just tryin' to make it in an extrovert's world.

It is particularly meant to speak to introverts in the high flying business, legal, and/or educational world, where a premium is put on socializing, teamwork, constant connection and multitasking (I am speaking here particularly of the rarefied worlds of Big Law, Wall Street Finance, and Ivy League academia). It's a very career and work focused book, with a surprisingly frequent focus on the bottom line about what traits introverts are more likely to have and how these should be recognized at the top tables in all fields. Her argument, based on one scientific study after another throughout the chapters (deployed like so much artillery), is that introverts tend to think more deeply about problems and persist for longer in trying to solve them. Introverts are supposedly more likely to care about the feelings of others, to make excellent compromising leaders, and to be excellent negotiators (Cain's particular area of expertise) based on their ability to seem soft and actually be tough at the same time. She scorns the merely "shy" as extroverts in disguise who share extroverts' traits and want the spotlight but who are just too scared to get it (she would never say this outright, but it is clear that she believes they don't deserve the secret introvert password and is determined to keep out the riffraff). She argues that the extroverts in powerful positions she has seen are more likely to take unjustified risks, to get hopped up on testosterone and the thrill of the chase, to listen to the loudest person in the room, and to walk all over introverts.

She readily admits the nuances in these sweeping generalizations. She also admits the worth of extroverts and how introverts greatly enjoy and need their company, both professionally and personally. In addition, she also talks about some legitimate times when introverts may devote time and energy to being extroverted (if they care about something enough- "Free Trait Theory"). Finally, and in the part that I most appreciated, Cain talks a bit about the "Situational" theory of personality- that is, that people's personalities can be completely different in different situations, times and around different people. Therefore, there are very few "pure" introverts or "pure" extroverts. She also admits that the way that these generalized "traits" play out may look very different and may, after all, not be very predictive in any direct way. (Many extroverts may have excellent impulse control, or introverts who care deeply about a cause may act frequently and completely out of character in order to fight for what they believe in.)

However, the space devoted to these arguments is much, much smaller than the space devoted to proving, endlessly, how awesome introverts are and why the professional world should value them and stop trying to tell them that they have to be like extroverts because I'm okay and you're okay and it takes all kinds and a village to make the world go round.

And honestly? This is a message that's happening to hit me at the right time, when I'm involved in a workplace with a whole lot of extroverts surrounding me. I did find it useful in my particular mindset where I am actively waging a struggle to define my own style in a new profession, since introversion is a part of my identity. I also thought that some of the studies she cited DO make a lot of sense and should be more widely looked at (like the ones that talk about why it's a good idea to ask people to provide feedback and brainstorm online rather than in big meetings or why introverts with closed door offices are more productive or some of the advice to parents about how to cherish their introverted child). I also think that it's nice to have someone sounding the alert that someone speaking quietly is not wrong by default- turn on cable news for thirty seconds and you'll be reminded why that is important.

And yet, despite the evident time put into this book, and despite my bias towards it, I couldn't shake the feeling of cynical questioning of what felt like a great deal of pop psychology and arguments made based on feelings, anecdotes and newspaper clippings collected into a narrative. It felt like a file you might keep to make yourself feel better and to express an important part of your identity, rather than a research paper and I'm sure it was aiming at something closer to that crossed with an advice column. There's such a lot of speculation in here, and lots of scientific studies without citations or countervailing evidence brought into play. (For example, it certainly didn't help that the minute after I read one of the more fluffy scientific studies in here about how we Americans as a culture are more drawn to people that display significantly more traditionally dominant body language in pictures I saw it in an issue of Marie Claire in a box near the back of the magazine reconfigured to be about women being attracted to men and how you've gotta look aggressive and Manly to get us ladiezz don't you know?) It just seems like a book written for a specific audience that you can rely on to make that leap to "just know" what you mean because they've got an emotional bank of misunderstood years and moments to draw on. In short, it appeals to an "emotional truth" built on hundreds of pages of stories and studies that may or may not add up to anything at all. On the one hand, it's maybe okay to create a space for a "community" of sorts to feel and process some of that- on the other hand, it will drag down the overall quality of that work into something closer to a melancholy history crossed with a dinner party argument.

Therefore, despite its strengths, and despite the personal enjoyment and help that I have taken from the book at this particular time, I can't rate it as more than an above average read. An intellectualized comfort read for introverted professionals, really, if such a specialized category really exists. I can't rate it higher when I feel like one good scholarly journal review would take the whole theory down, especially when it feels like an argument for corporations to pay introverts more a lot of the time. Nonetheless, a lot of interesting questions asked, a lot of self-reflection inspired. Recommended for my fellow introverts if you're at a place where you feel like something like I described above might be helpful to you at this time. Otherwise, I'd say you could skip it or just watch her TED talk instead.(less)

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Jul 05, 2012 Cheryl in CC NV rated it 5 of 5 stars

Bottom line - well-researched, carefully presented, entertaining, and very important to teachers, parents, bosses, introverts, and extroverts. Not perfect, but highly recommended.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So far so enchanting. But then, I scored 20/20 introvert on the quiz in the introduction, so I'm biased.

I can tell it's not going to be a perfect book, as it's easy to nitpick about the science and the objectivity of the author. But it's an important book. It's crucial that...more

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Feb 05, 2012 Arun rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: psychology

Written by a former Wall Street lawyer and self-labeled introvert, Susan Cain, "Quiet" is important literature in the field of introvert-extrovert research. Although Susan Cain is an introvert, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the focus of this book is on introversion AND extroversion. Cain doesn’t present extroversion as a bad trait, but rather shows the reader how understanding introversion more deeply can be of use to American society. First, introvert-extrovert research is useful for...more

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Sep 28, 2011 Steve rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: philosophy

I was able to obtain a pre-pub reader's copy of Susan Cain's new book.
This is a useful book for the introvert forced to be in the public eye.
By public eye I mean more than 1 or 2 people. I, as an introvert, gained a better understanding of why I am the way I am. Most introverts will find helpful tips and info on dealing with work and daily matters. Now if I could only have enough money to move away and live in seclusion. ;-)

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Jan 21, 2013 Emily rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013, nonfiction

This book reminded me a lot of Willpower in that it also would have struck me as brilliantly illuminating if I had read it 15 years earlier.

As it is, I thought this book about introverts did a good job of expressing things I already understand, such as the idea of understanding your own "sweet spot" of mental/social stimulation: "Imagine how much better you'll be at this sweet-spot game once you're aware of playing it." And this is a pretty good description of life inside my head: "Introverts t...more

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Mar 03, 2012 Catelyn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: audiobooks

I loved this book. As an introvert, I felt like someone was finally telling my side of the story, and understanding my life in general. Definitely going to loan it to some extroverted family members.

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May 29, 2013 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I like the idea behind this book, but so far I'm not sure how well the author is succeeding in presenting her point.

She makes it clear early on that "introverted" and "shy" are not the same thing...and then proceeds, at least in the early chapters, to fail to distinguish between the two.

Preferring solitude and requiring alone time to recharge-hallmarks of introversion-are normal and healthy. Being pathologically incapable of functioning in a social situation because one is terrified of contact w...more

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Jan 01, 2013 Zeke rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 5stars, nonfiction, favorites

I hope Quiet is read by every introvert out there and everyone who may be in a relationship with an introvert....really anyone hoping to gain understanding about intro/extroversion.

Susan Cain offers up an incredibly engaging, comprehensive look at introversion. She takes a multidisciplinary approach to the concept of introversion in a culture where we are often measured against an "Extrovert Ideal" - in the workplace, schools and social settings.

She offers workable, empowering solutions to int...more

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Apr 03, 2013 Tasha rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: botn, non-fic, own, 5-star-reads-2013

A very interesting book filled with so many moments of understanding from this introvert. I think this book is a wonderful resource for anyone to read, introvert or extrovert, as there are so many levels within these personality types and we are bound to find ourselves, or those we know, within the pages. As we live in a world of relating to others, it's a great guide to improving all sorts of interactions we have on a daily basis.

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Jan 03, 2013 Crystal Starr Light rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Crystal Starr Light by: Jason

Shelves: non-fiction, simply-the-best, psychology

Eye-opener. Astounding. Life-changing. Inspirational. Insightful. All these adjectives and more describe my experience with this amazing book.

I'm very much an introvert. I try to avoid social functions as much as possible, but I do love meeting every so often with my dear friends one-on-one. If I do end up at a party, you can bet I'm the one keeping the corner warm. I am an avid reader, a knitter, a sometimes writer, a nerd, and an engineer. My idea of a perfect evening is one spent in the comfo...more Eye-opener. Astounding. Life-changing. Inspirational. Insightful. All these adjectives and more describe my experience with this amazing book.

I'm very much an introvert. I try to avoid social functions as much as possible, but I do love meeting every so often with my dear friends one-on-one. If I do end up at a party, you can bet I'm the one keeping the corner warm. I am an avid reader, a knitter, a sometimes writer, a nerd, and an engineer. My idea of a perfect evening is one spent in the comfort of my apartment, cat in lap, book in hand, coffee at my side. My idea of a perfect vacation is one where I can go to my favorite coffee shop and read. In college, my favorite classes were Differential Equations (in which I, the only female, got a perfect score on the final), Physics, and Fluids. Ever since elementary school, I dreaded a school performances, such as Christmas programs or poetry recitals. At work meetings, I am more likely to listen to everything and be note-taker than I am to present or volunteer ideas.

Lately, my boss has said that I need to step things up, become more "out there" and confident. Inwardly, I despaired. Wasn't I working hard enough? What was holding me back? Why couldn't I just blurt things out in meetings? Why did I constantly sound nervous, even if I really wasn't? Was there any hope for me to change?

And then, like a sign from heaven, I saw this book in the "New Books" display at Barnes and Nobles (BTW, I happen to swing by the bookstore at least once a week during lunch - sometimes to purchase, but mostly to pass the time). I remembered a friend had read this and really enjoyed it, and I figured it would help me figure out myself.

"Figure myself out" would be an understatement; it's as if this book were written specifically for me! Cain breaks down what it means to be an introvert. Turns out despite what my sister is constantly telling me, I'm not weird (alright, not too weird). I have talents and skills. I have a place. And it's not my fault I can't always speak up and make my voice heard. A lot of it is because of how our workforce, our employers, our coworkers, our society functions. Our biology, our parents, our surroundings make us the introverted beings we are. It's just that school and work and the outside world try to tell us that being quiet, that listening and ruminating over things is wrong, that we should be quick to speak and blurt whatever is on our mind.

I've known I was an introvert for a while, but it was so refreshing and liberating to learn that there were others with my "problem". That I wasn't alone. And, most importantly, I can overcome, nay thrive, in this Extroverted world. And that is the second gift Cain gives us in this book: how to be an Introvert in an Extrovert world and not want to choke yourself at night.

I feel like, after reading Quiet, I have a plan for facing my "work problems". I feel like I can take the challenge my boss has placed in front of me and succeed. Although a part of me still wishes I could crawl back to my desk and burrow there, I think this book has given me the tools and encouragement I need to speak up.

If you are an introvert, you definitely need to read this book. Even if you aren't an introvert, this is a great book to understanding how they think and act. I'm definitely passing this along to everyone I know.(less)

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Feb 20, 2012 Angie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: kindle-clubbers, recommended-non-fiction

A must read for everyone, not just introverts.

Susan Cain, former Wall Street lawyer and self-described introvert, investigates how introversion has become dangerously scorned in the current American "Culture of Personality." I had not fully realized how drastically our cultural values have shifted--and how much American society pushes us to conform--until reading Cain's book.

To prove her point, Cain visits American bastions of extroversion promotion, including Harvard Business School, Saddleba...more A must read for everyone, not just introverts.

Susan Cain, former Wall Street lawyer and self-described introvert, investigates how introversion has become dangerously scorned in the current American "Culture of Personality." I had not fully realized how drastically our cultural values have shifted--and how much American society pushes us to conform--until reading Cain's book.

To prove her point, Cain visits American bastions of extroversion promotion, including Harvard Business School, Saddleback Church, Dale Carnegie, Wall Street, and Tony Robbins conferences. She talks with pioneering psychologists and neurologists to explain the studies behind concepts like the dangers of group think, the ability to delay gratification, or the trait called sensitivity. She profiles famous and less-well known introverts to show how the studies play out in real life.

Though the many of the activities I'm drawn to (and the things that cause anxiety) scream classic introvert, I have always considered myself an extrovert and frequently put myself in situations where extroverted behavior is valued. However, since quitting my job and globe-hopping for the past two years, I've been surprised (and disappointed) by how often the constant stimulation, new people, and change can drain me--and by how I often feel an overwhelming need for alone time.

I found myself relating to many of the points Cain discusses and have since concluded that I'm much more of an introvert than I had thought. (I promise that this isn't just because she does a good job of highlighting all the positive things about introverts!)

So for that, I am grateful to have read Quiet, though I can't quite believe it took reading a book to figure that out about myself! I am seeing my preferences in a new light and have much understanding and acceptance regarding the things that interest me (and those that cause me stress). I've been having trouble narrowing down 'what I want to do with my life' and this book has helped me more than any other, because I finally feel like I can accept that the things I really enjoy are just a part of me and can't be ignored.

Though the personal application will differ, I suspect many people will come away having learned much more than they expected, if not about themselves, then about people close to them. I had always thought of extroverts and introverts as being on distinct sides of a line, when in fact it's much more of a sliding scale (or perhaps better as two scales: percentage introversion, percentage extroversion). Because we have been culturally pressured and trained to admire extroverted behavior, many of us may be dangerously ignoring our introverted characteristics.

This was a game-changing book for me, and I suspect it will be eye-opening to most people who read it.(less)

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Apr 23, 2012 Lori rated it 5 of 5 stars

I'm really excited about all the works about introverts that's been coming out lately, I think mainly because of this book. I'm not sure if extroverts would have enjoyed this book as much as me, because Cain works hard to prove the merits and necessity of introverts in our society, while down-playing all the reasons why we should have an extrovert ideal. In fact, I think some extroverts would feel a bit offended at this book. But I don't care. I've lived my whole life feeling like there was some...more

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Sep 17, 2012 Laura added it

As good as everyone says and a quick, interesting read. In some ways, it was validation of stuff introverts already know, which is why I can't give it 5 stars, but it was very interesting.

I kind of wish that all bosses ever had to read it, since so much of the way that introverts thrive goes against the brainstorming/open floor plan/meeting-centric business model. Even though I think of myself as an introvert, it did help me realize some things about my (even more introverted) husband, and how...more

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Dec 11, 2012 Bobby rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, reread

Highly recommended for both introverts and extroverts. Helped enlighten me about my introversion with information from studies and experts. Very encouraging yet also gives some practical advice about how to best use your "introvert powers" and when and how you can fight them.

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Mar 14, 2012 Riku Sayuj rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: to-be-reviewed-soon

Full review will probably come only after I finish with Kahneman as there are many parallels which I am still trying to tie together...

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Feb 12, 2013 Mj rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, informational-resource

Quiet could easily have been a doctoral dissertation. It is that well researched and uses a wide and diverse variety of sources. It is cross-referenced throughout and a real bonus is its extensive resource summary for future reading and exploration. The good news is that it is not a dry, academic paper. It is a well written, lively read.

Susan Cain has apparently wanted to be a writer since she was four but at first detoured to train and practise as a corporate lawyer, specializing in negotiatio...more Quiet could easily have been a doctoral dissertation. It is that well researched and uses a wide and diverse variety of sources. It is cross-referenced throughout and a real bonus is its extensive resource summary for future reading and exploration. The good news is that it is not a dry, academic paper. It is a well written, lively read.

Susan Cain has apparently wanted to be a writer since she was four but at first detoured to train and practise as a corporate lawyer, specializing in negotiation. She admits that if she couldn’t be a writer she would choose to be a psychology researcher and is fascinated by human nature. The book, seven years in the making, definitely demonstrates her research capability. It is the backbone of the book along with Cain’s obvious passion for her subject matter.

The book is easy to read and filled with real people and real life examples who bring the topic to life. The writing is always thoughtful and thought provoking, sometimes kind or humourous and often fierce. You can tell that Cain strongly believes that introverts have been given a raw deal, are undervalued and have much to offer the world.

Cain makes a strong case illustrating that the current North American culture in particular is skewed heavily in favour of accommodation, influence and success for extraverts. (Did you catch that? A light bulb flash moment for me - you can even spell it “extra” vert rather than “extro” vert if you wish. Now how “extra” special and skewed is that, especially considering how powerful words are?) The book explores the differences between extroverts and introverts - primarily differences in how much stimulation their true nature requires to be at its best or optimum level of being and doing. Cain documents the strengths of introverts and the type of activities they are especially good at.

Anyone who reads this book will better understand a large percentage of people in the world; either one out of every three people or one out of every two people, depending on how recent a study you use. Either way, introverts make up a large part of the world. That in and of itself, suggests they should be included not discounted and encouraged to continue with their valuable contributions.

Interestingly enough there are introverts and extroverts in the animal and insect kingdoms as well and the culture of many countries can also be categorized using the same introvert and extrovert differentiation. Parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, partners, co-workers, friends, political and business leaders and anyone who is in contact with introverts in their daily lives (pretty much the whole world) should read this book. Reading by the way is a very introverted undertaking – going within, for quiet stimulation to refuel rather than looking outside for stronger, more active stimulation to get recharged.

The writing in Quiet is excellent and flowed very easily. In addition to solid informative research, it was a very enjoyable read brought to life with numerous anecdotes and stories.

Basically, Quiet is a celebration of introversion. Anyone growing up or grown up, who heard themselves described as an introvert or who prefers the company of one or two close friends rather than large, social groups of friends, or who likes in depth conversations one on one or with a few people rather than group chit chats with many people interjecting, will see themselves in this book and celebrate. Anyone who doesn’t fit into that category, based on the odds, knows someone and probably an important someone who does. I’d recommend that you make some quiet time and read Quiet – Goodreads Choice Award for Best Nonfiction for 2012.
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Michael Anson I really appreciate your review of this book. I have to teach a class on research at Waubonsee, the community college at which I'm interning. I will u...more
Jan 26, 2013 08:28am

Mj I'm flattered and fine with your using my review. Feel free to use it however best suits your students and the points you are trying to make in class....more
updated Jan 26, 2013 09:03pm

Mar 13, 2013 Mary Kay rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read "Quiet" at the recommendation of a dear friend. "You have to read this!" she insisted.
I was a little reluctant. I have always been introverted, and except for a few rocky years in middle school, I have never had any problems with my introversion. I did not feel like I needed to read a whole book about how it is OK to be an introvert- I already know that!
"Quiet", however, was definitely worth the tme. It explores the whole spectrum of introversion, as well as characteristics that are often...more

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Jan 10, 2013 Leah Mosher rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, library-books

Confession time: I’m an introvert. I like spending time alone, reading and listening to music. I enjoy going out and seeing my friends, but I’m often relieved to come home to a quiet house where I can unwind on my own. I love thinking critically, but I’m rarely the first person to leap into the discussion. And in a culture that seems to value extroversion over nearly every other trait, I’ve always been made to feel slightly insecure about these things. Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Intro...more Confession time: I’m an introvert. I like spending time alone, reading and listening to music. I enjoy going out and seeing my friends, but I’m often relieved to come home to a quiet house where I can unwind on my own. I love thinking critically, but I’m rarely the first person to leap into the discussion. And in a culture that seems to value extroversion over nearly every other trait, I’ve always been made to feel slightly insecure about these things. Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking helped me change my outlook.

Quiet presents an idea that Western society so often seems to contradict: that being introverted isn’t a bad thing; our brains just work differently than extroverts’ do. As extroverts have their own strengths, we have our own, and the world needs a balance of both types of people to function well. It needs the people who can go out and charm the pants off of clients, and it also needs people who are thoughtful and perceptive.

This book was really enlightening for me. It was so validating! I’ve always thought that my dislike of small talk, need to unwind in solitude, and the intense guilt I feel whenever I do something wrong are unusual and problematic. Quiet, however, taught me that these are simply common traits of introverts and that there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things. Roughly one third to one half of people are introverts! It’s not just me! Plenty of people feel like I do, and that makes me feel so much more comfortable with myself.

This book also helped me realize what strengths I have, as an introvert: I think carefully before I speak; the quality of my communication is more important to me than the quantity. I am a creative thinker. (Did you know that most really creative people are introverts? They need quiet and solitude to think without interruption.) I process information deeply and will listen carefully to all points of view. I think before I act, I can stay on task for long periods of time without giving up, and I work accurately. The list goes on!

Quiet is really well researched, and Cain includes many interesting studies that illustrate her points. It’s a very readable book, and nearly every page held some fascinating new piece of information that I just wanted to tell everyone — hey, did you know?

I highly recommend this book. If you’re an introvert, Quiet will teach you a lot about yourself, and if you’re an extrovert, it will help you relate to your introverted friends, family members, and co-workers — because whether you know it or not, you have some. For employers, Quiet offers strategies for utilizing introverted employees by recognizing their needs and making the most of their strengths. For parents, this book provides advice on raising quiet children in a noisy world.

More book reviews at Books Speak Volumes.(less)

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Mar 06, 2013 Jonathan Karmel rated it 3 of 5 stars

There were a couple of things in this book that rang true to me. According to this book, introversion is a “fixed trait,” but introverts can benefit from “self-monitoring” and putting on an extroverted persona to achieve personal goals that are important. It’s also helpful for introverts to create “restorative niches,” periods of time when they can be alone and “recharge their batteries” by doing something of interest by themselves.

In relationships, an introvert may speak quietly and unemotional...more There were a couple of things in this book that rang true to me. According to this book, introversion is a “fixed trait,” but introverts can benefit from “self-monitoring” and putting on an extroverted persona to achieve personal goals that are important. It’s also helpful for introverts to create “restorative niches,” periods of time when they can be alone and “recharge their batteries” by doing something of interest by themselves.

In relationships, an introvert may speak quietly and unemotionally during an argument, because of a psychological need to avoid conflict, and the person the introvert is arguing with may think the introvert is “checking out.” Likewise, an introvert may have trouble dealing with a partner who expresses anger and frustration in a highly emotional manner. It’s helpful to be aware of these different styles of communication.

Overall, however, as an introverted, Jewish, lawyer from the Hudson Valley who went to an Ivy League college, I was surprised that I mostly couldn’t relate to this book at all. Since this book has received a lot of good publicity, I thought it would contain a lot of insightful information about the way introverts experience life in a culture that idealizes extroversion. Instead, I found the book to be more of a memoir of one particular introvert - the author – whose experience I don’t think reflects that of introverts in general.

At the very end of the book, after the chapter titled “Conclusion,” there is a three page “note” on the words “introvert” and “extrovert,” in which the author explains that she’s not using the word in the way “contemporary personality psychologists” use the word. Referring to the “Big Five” personality traits, she states that her use of the word “introvert” includes not only introversion, but also “openness to experience,” “conscientiousness” and “neuroticism.” She (sort of) admits that there is no scientific basis for correlating introversion with these other three personality traits, but then she states that there’s a basis in literature for the generalization that introverted people also fall on the “sensitive/nervous” side of neuroticism, not on the “secure/confident side.” Then she makes reference to the ancient and completely discredited theory that there are four “temperaments,” and she suggests that this book was about people who are melancholic and phlegmatic, not sanguine and choleric.

Putting aside the fact that even under the four temperament theory, I don’t think it’s the case that melancholic people were considered more likely to be phlegmatic, I found that overall, the theories in this book were just based on the subjective experience of the author and had no scientific validity. Personally, I could relate more to a book about introverts who fall on the secure/confident side of neuroticism.

The four parts of the book create a coherent shell (Part 1: The Extrovert Ideal; Part 2: Your Biology, Your Self?; Part 3: Do All Cultures Have an Extrovert Ideal?; Part 4: How to Love, How to Work). But within that shell, I found the information to be poorly organized. The author has obviously read voluminously on the topic, but the book appeared to me to just be a compilation of her notes presented in somewhat of a haphazard manner.

What exactly is the author’s thesis? Our country idealizes Jack Welch more than Bill Gates, Ted Turner more than Warren Buffet, Franklin Roosevelt more than Abraham Lincoln – really, how so? Introversion has a biological basis (the amygdala of an introvert is different). On the other hand, Americans valued introversion more during the Age of Character, but began to value extroversion more during the Age of Personality that emerged in the 20th Century. “High-reactive” or “sensitive” types tend to be introverted. Yet Asian-Americans as a whole value introversion more than non-Asian-Americans according to this book. I know the titles of Parts 2 and 3 of the book are phrased as questions, but what are the authors answers to these questions? They seem to be all over the place.

In the chapter subtitled “Why Cool is Overrated,” the author describes her experience at a gathering for “highly sensitive people” in California. Although she enjoyed the experience, she concludes: “there is such a deficit of the social behavior we call ‘cool’ that I began thinking someone should be cracking jokes, stirring things up, handing out rum-and-Cokes. Shouldn’t they? . . . I’m glad for the ‘cool’ among us, and I miss them this weekend. I’m starting to speak so softly that I feel like I’m putting myself to sleep.” With empowered introverts like these, who needs marginalized introverts?

The suggestion that advocating for the power of introverts is somehow comparable to the civil rights struggles of introvert-Rosa Parks or introvert-supporter-of-Marion-Anderson-Eleanor Roosevelt is just silly. Introverts may be annoyed by the profusion of loud televisions at gyms, airports, doctor’s waiting rooms, elevators, etc., but I think it’s quite a stretch to suggest that introverts are being discriminated against. The book states that introverts get better grades in school and states repeatedly that one-third to one-half of all people are introverts. Is it really possible that we live in an “extroverted world”?

In my opinion, this book is just an amalgam of second-hand knowledge about stuff related to introversion (some of it only vaguely related, such as the habits of fruit flies). The author’s theories are supported more by cherry-picked anecdotes than scientific evidence. I think a book written by an actual psychologist – perhaps even an analytical psychologist – might have a more insightful theory about introversion.

There are many things this book could have discussed but did not. For example, if our educational system makes class participation part of a student’s grade, how should class participation be measured in a way that would not favor extroverts? How exactly can introverts use written communication via the internet to harness their power in ways that are not possible using only local, face-to-face communication? How can we re-design waiting areas to ensure that there is a quiet, well-lit space where people can read or do some other activity that requires concentration, without being bombarded by unwanted sensory stimuli?

Finally, I found this book to be very culturally specific to well-off people from industrialized countries. I doubt this book would have much relevance to most people. I guess the word “world” in the subtitle is just meant to refer to the “world” of the author.
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Mar 17, 2012 Noah rated it 5 of 5 stars

A must-read for everyone: for introverts to gain some surprising insights and for extroverts to understand why quiet doesn't equal bad.

One of the surprising things that I learned was extroverts prefer to be yelled at by coaches--it motivates them more. Introverts prefer encouragement. This helped explain a situation where I had quit a sport because I wasn't into being yelled at. I no longer had to feel bad or think the guy was mean; he was just appealing to extroverts.

I have met some extroverts...more

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Sep 02, 2012 Jackie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction-or-just-not-fiction

It took me two months to read the first fifty pages, and then one day to read the rest.

I've kind of exhausted myself on this topic over on my blog, and also in my conversations with my mother (a fellow introvert), so I'll just say here that while the book initially isn't what I wanted, I came around once Cain shifted her focus from societal trends to individuals. I appreciated that there was science, and, like Cain, the thing I found most revelatory was Professor Little's Free Trait Theory: you...more It took me two months to read the first fifty pages, and then one day to read the rest.

I've kind of exhausted myself on this topic over on my blog, and also in my conversations with my mother (a fellow introvert), so I'll just say here that while the book initially isn't what I wanted, I came around once Cain shifted her focus from societal trends to individuals. I appreciated that there was science, and, like Cain, the thing I found most revelatory was Professor Little's Free Trait Theory: you may sometimes act out of character/against type, and that's okay if it's in the service of something you really, really care about. (Also the corresponding Free Trait Agreement--if you're with someone, you'll give and take--was pretty cool too.)

Bonus points for:
1) Acknowledging the Universal Hide in the Bathroom Principle. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's okay, it takes all kinds!)
2) Pointing out that the internet is actually the introvert's dream format. Peace without loneliness! Non-exhausting connections at your fingertips!
3) The guy at Claremont McKenna who got up early "just to savor time alone with a steaming cup of coffee." Replace tea, and you've got my life now.
4) "the life of the mind"
5) "'The stereotype of the university professor is accurate for so many people on campus. They like to read; for them there's nothing more exciting than ideas. And some of this has to do with how they spent their time when they were growing up. If you spend a lot of time charging around, then you have less time for reading and learning. There's only so much time in your life.'" That last line is something both sides of the spectrum should be able to say, but you so rarely hear it applied in this context.
6) Introvert guilt, which I completely identified with and had always chalked up to Catholic Guilt.
7) The brief introduction to situationism.
8) "Finally, pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth."
9) "person-environment fit"

Points deducted:
1) In all that talk of fear of public speaking, not once did anyone mention nervous poo. Forgive me for being frank, but it's a phenomenon my college roommate (who I am sending this book immediately) discussed endlessly. Quelle oversight!

No, but really:
1 and only) I found the first section on the Extrovert Ideal annoying and stressful. Yes, we all know that's how it is. I don't want to read about the vagaries of open office plans and group work (spawn of the devil, and I knew that as a preschooler) and megachurches where extroversion is mandatory. I want to read about people and what they actually do. In the two months it took me to read that part, I found myself thinking longingly of what I wanted to be reading instead: a book of essays written by introverts about their full, purpose-driven lives. Learning by example, that's me. I want to be shown, not told. Fortunately the book changed tack slightly, but she almost lost me there.(less)

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Apr 15, 2012 Linda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I wish I could require every conference session leader in the Western world to read this book. You know the type: those perky people who take the podium and say things like "Before we start, shake hands with and greet at least three people you don't know." Arrrrrggggh. Like it's not already taking every ounce of energy I have to sit here in a room full of a hundred strangers.

Cain confirms with data from various studies what I've observed time and again: In group/committee situations, those who s...more

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Jul 26, 2012 Orsolya rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: the-brain, library

Why is it that the “ideal” person is extroverted? That we pride social skills and being outgoing? All while a deeply gifted thinker who prefers to be in his/her head is described as lacking these traits. Looking at it from an evolutionary standpoint, there is a reason why introverts exist, so why do we rate it as second best? Being a true-blue introvert, I turned to Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking” to answer these questions (and maybe propose new on...more Why is it that the “ideal” person is extroverted? That we pride social skills and being outgoing? All while a deeply gifted thinker who prefers to be in his/her head is described as lacking these traits. Looking at it from an evolutionary standpoint, there is a reason why introverts exist, so why do we rate it as second best? Being a true-blue introvert, I turned to Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking” to answer these questions (and maybe propose new ones).

Susan Cain divides “Quiet” into four main sections with the first focusing on the history and description of the rise of extroverts, the differences in leadership styles of introverts and extroverts, and the myths surrounding them. This section begins “Quiet” with a slow and unmemorable beginning. Cain focuses more of an effort on real-life case studies versus actual scientific studies, bypassing any professional data or even her own opinions. The studies which are mentioned are not “earth-shattering” in depth nor do they truly correlate to her hypothesis. In fact, much of the hypothesis is lost and the flow is not seamless or clear. On one hand, this makes the reading understandable and accessible for the less scientifically-inclined reader, but to others craving more research; Cain leaves something to be desired.

Some of Cain’s examples which could be perceived as “witty” (Craig Newark of Craigslist fame, Dr. Suess, and Moses from the Bible) are underdeveloped and also lose connection with the hypothesis. Cain is often abrupt and cuts herself short. Furthermore, many of the chapters begin in the same exact way (both format and creativity) which is tedious and creates a loss of interest.

The second section of “Quiet” describes some of the brain and neurological aspects of introverts featuring more science than the first section. Cain’s work is a bit more compelling in this respect and certainly more interesting. However, it still isn’t clear what she is trying to prove as she mostly just describes how introverts “are”. Plus, most of the findings are self-explanatory and even obvious. Again, the reader will not be blown away. I have read MANY “brain books” (psychology/neurology, science, and biology) and generally, I am left both flabbergasted and repeating information I’ve read to anyone who will listen. This was not the case with “Quiet” as only a small dose of information felt standout. As the second portion progresses, Cain does present tests and experimentation results more confidentially (however, there is a lack of elaboration).

The third section of “Quiet” is comparatively shorter, as Cain explains the conformities and values of the Asian cultures while in the fourth section, Cain offers tips and lifestyle adaptations for introverts in various areas such as work, romance, parenting, play, etc. At this point, “Quiet” appears to be more of a self-help book.

The latter end of the book is overly focused on parenting and schooling of children causing me to feel alienated and distanced (having no children). Furthermore, the “Conclusion” is weak and sums up the book which actually reinforces how few points are made.

Simply, “Quiet" is not what I expected. Instead of explaining “why” introverts are the way they are; Cain described “how” they are with an absence of data I would have preferred. All in all though, it has been confirmed (which I already knew) that I am indeed an introvert.(less)

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Aug 27, 2012 Natalie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Wow, this book was simply amazing. Every piece of information found here is something I wish I'd known in junior high school, high school, or even college. And I wish my parents had known more about when I was even younger than all that. I finished the book with mixed reactions though. On the one hand I feel completely validated, in a way I've never been able to grasp before, and I feel like there are definitely some simple things I can change about my life now that will help me become even bett...more

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