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Tales from Gundarland

by Hank Quense (Goodreads Author)

4.15 of 5 stars 4.15 · rating details · 20 ratings · 12 reviews

EPIC selected this as a finalist in their annual competition! Award details won't be announced until mid-March.
Readers Favorite awarded Tales from Gundarland a medal in most recent competition. The medal was in the scifi/fantasy category. It also recently received rave reviews from independent reviewers. See the press release: http://www.prlog.org/10908980-tales-f...

Laugh...more EPIC selected this as a finalist in their annual competition! Award details won't be announced until mid-March.
Readers Favorite awarded Tales from Gundarland a medal in most recent competition. The medal was in the scifi/fantasy category. It also recently received rave reviews from independent reviewers. See the press release: http://www.prlog.org/10908980-tales-f...

Laughter is contagious. Enjoy some by reading this book
It's filled with delightful entertainment. Without commercial interruption!
Gundarland is populated by humans, dwarfs, elves and other races; it's the backdrop for unique adventures, brilliant heroes and cunning villains.
This collection of humorous short stories and novellas is now available in both print and ebook versions.

Brian Knight, a reviewer wrote: "Tales from Gundarland is an action packed, comical roller coaster. This wonderfully developed land with its inhabitants is a refreshing get away from the world we live in. All of the multiple characters are both believable and unique which is a testament to the author’s talent.
Each of the eight short stories deliver a fresh, humorous spin on some of the classic tales such as Romeo and Juliet and Zorro; while poking fun at political greed and social aspects of life. Action and adventure keeps the pace moving at a steady pace; when combined with the humorous aspects the stories take on a vivid presence in the readers mind. The common denominator that holds them all together is Gundarland.

From the first word, Hank Quense’s passion for crafting gripping tales and quick wit takes center stage. Instantly, you are immersed in the land of Gundarland next to the multiple individuals that inhabit the planet. With each passing page, it is virtually impossible not to become part of the humor and adventure within “Tales From Gundarland.”
“Tales From Gundarland” delivers nonstop action and laughs with an intriguing pinch of romance. The unique stories, strong characters and multiple plots carry from story to story and page to page. This book is a must have for those seeking action, adventure and comedy bundled in short, deliberate stories."

Here is a list of the stories and a brief synopsis of each:
Romeo and Juliet: Romeo, a dwarf miner, and Juliet, the elfin daughter of a rich gem merchant, have a rocky courtship because Juliet's brothers are avowed enemies of Romeo's family.
Chasing Dreams: This novella tells the story of twin yuk brothers on their journey from strong-armed thugs to highway robbers to bawdy house owners to politicians. The brothers are plagued and harassed by vigilantes.
Boggerts Blue: A warrior-cook seeks to rescue a kidnapped princess. She refuses to be rescued by someone who isn't noble-born.
The Big Bang: A wizard has to eliminate a dragon and his minions. Along the way to complete his mission, he is tested by a shape-changer and a pair of trolls.
The Queen's Hero: This novella is about a young tinker-warrior as he struggles to save his Queen from a pirate admiral trying to overthrow her and become king. The Queen's three beautiful daughters have their own plans for the young hero.
Merchant of Venison: A dwarf butcher borrows money to help his best friend and soon regrets it. The dwelf money lender has bloody ideas about the default payments.
Inter-Racial Musical Playoffs: A few greedy wizards attempt to fix a musical competition. Other wizards try to protect the band leader who is favored to win the competition.
Tactical Surprise: A general develops unusual tactics to defeat a rebel army. The enemy leader is a close family friend making the general's decisions more difficult.(less)

Paperback, 328 pages

Published June 25th 2010 by Createspace

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Sep 24, 2010 Martha Cheves rated it 5 of 5 stars

Tales From Gundarland – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat

‘The planet was named Gundar after the omniscient god who accidentally created the universe with an explosive sneeze caused by snorting a larger-than-average dose of his favorite recreational powder. The nodules of spittle flew through space and eventually solidified into suns, planets, comets and other celestial bodies. Gundarland is the largest land mass on the planet. Populated by diverse races such as dwarfs, hu...more Tales From Gundarland – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat

‘The planet was named Gundar after the omniscient god who accidentally created the universe with an explosive sneeze caused by snorting a larger-than-average dose of his favorite recreational powder. The nodules of spittle flew through space and eventually solidified into suns, planets, comets and other celestial bodies. Gundarland is the largest land mass on the planet. Populated by diverse races such as dwarfs, humans, elves, half-pints, yuks and a few lesser races, these disparate races live cheek-by-jowl in many cases and get along with no more than the usual interracial hostility.

By ancient tradition, many warriors took a double major when they studied the arts of war. The double major came in handy during the occasional outbreaks of peace. Thus, in the early days, knight-accountants, warrior-chefs and soldier-lawyers roamed the countryside seeking combat and/or clients. The population of the planet has always been intrigued by magic. As a consequence, wizards were held in high regard, even the incompetent ones. Wizard schools even offered double majors as well as the combat schools.

Author Hank Quense has taken characters that we all recognize, put them into character form while having them live on the planet of Gundar. For instance we have Romeo and Juliet. Romeo Montague is a dwarf silver miner. Juliet Capulet is an elf. They met at a ballet class and fell madly in love with each other. But… Juliet’s brothers hate the Montague family and forbid their marriage. Will they end up like Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet? You will find yourself laughing out loud as you find out.

Next we have Zarro, black mask and all. Zarro is a dwarf who rides a donkey named Belinda. Belinda was won by Zarro’s father in a card game and she hated to be ridden but loved to sleep. In fact, the only way to mount Belinda was to cover her head with a blanket, which would put her into a snoring sleep immediately, mount, remove the blanket and prepare yourself for a bit of bucking.

The Long Stranger, another mask wearer, and his sidekick Pinto are out to save the country from the likes of Rolf and Ralf. Rolf and Ralf have taken on the task of relieving those traveling along the Trade Road of their rings, coins, jewelry and any other valuables they might find to pilfer.

These are just a few of the characters Author Hank Quense has brought to life in Tales From Gundarland. As I read each character’s story I couldn’t help but laugh. I also couldn’t help but picture Shrek as a character in most of the stories. This book would be perfect for a full series of new Shrek movies.

2010
121 pages

Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat
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Aug 14, 2010 Fran rated it 5 of 5 stars

Tales From Gundarland
Author: Hank Quense
Reviewed by Fran Lewis

Welcome to Gundarland, a unique place filled with humans, dwarfs, Yuks, elves. Enter this world created by a god who sneezed. You read that right He sneezed with such force caused by snorting an overdose of His favorite recreational powder. Gundarland is the largest land mass of planet and you'll want to read this outstanding, hysterical, humorous, creative and wildly funny novel by author Hank Quense. Buy the book and you'll get your...more

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Jul 15, 2010 S.B. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: pps-books

From Gundarland comes entertainment.

Gundarland, a land populated with elves, dwarves, humans and other intriguing races, is both like and unlike the world we live on. The characters must tackle and overcome many of the situations we find ourselves in everyday. The difference, of course, is how they overcome them. Some do it with cooking utensils, some with a mask and some do it with cunning and an unpredictable wand.

Tales from Gundarland is an action packed, comical roller coaster. This wonderf...more

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May 17, 2012 Kori Morris rated it 3 of 5 stars

First Reads Winner.

A collection of short stories centered around comedic exploits in the land of Gundarland, conceived by a big sneeze from an omniscient god, where various creatures (dwarfs, elves, yuks)travel on their own paths, the writing in the book is filled with jokes, irony, and humorous tie ins to our own world. Despite the comedy, however, the writing style is abrupt and a bit jarred - the first story in the book is almost painful to wade through because the story is essentially "Perso...more

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Jan 18, 2012 Jennifer Walker rated it 4 of 5 stars

Quense specializes in humor writing, and it's obvious he has a sense of humor that inspired each one of these stories. Whether it's the story of a dwarf named Romeo and his star-crossed lover, an elf named Juliet, or a musical competition where combatitiveness and cuteness are part of the scoring, or a clumsy hero who saves the day despite himself, each story has its own rich cast of characters who take the reader on a fun adventure. While some are inspired by traditional tales, others (as far a...more

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Jul 14, 2011 Jane rated it 3 of 5 stars

I won this e-book from LibraryThing Members Giveaways. Tales From Gundarland is pure fantasy. Well known fairytales taken and spun with an added twist. On reading the prologue I thought this sounds good fun and I expected to be plunged into a similar world to Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. These short stories are more comparable to Shrek but for an older audience. Romeo and Juliet was my favourite and had me laughing my head off. I also liked Boggarts Blue about Burga the warrior cook savin...more

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Oct 28, 2010 Keryl Raist rated it 3 of 5 stars

Imagine for a minute an alternative universe where Terry Pratchett and Monty Python could produce a love child. Now imagine that child had inherited both parents' skill at seeing a situation and sizing it up for satiric treatment but neither parents' talent for executing that satire. If you can hold that idea in your mind, you'll have a pretty good idea of how Tales From Gundarland reads. I have a crusty, old memory of an English teacher telling me to use writing to show, not tell. You probably...more Imagine for a minute an alternative universe where Terry Pratchett and Monty Python could produce a love child. Now imagine that child had inherited both parents' skill at seeing a situation and sizing it up for satiric treatment but neither parents' talent for executing that satire. If you can hold that idea in your mind, you'll have a pretty good idea of how Tales From Gundarland reads. I have a crusty, old memory of an English teacher telling me to use writing to show, not tell. You probably have a similar one. Where Monty Python and Pratchett would show, Quense would tell.

Tales From Gundarland is a selection of two novellas and six short stories, most of them satires, set in a rather generic fantasy world of elves, dwarves, humans, and something called yuks (a modified ogre). The stories range from retellings of Shakespeare's greatest hits staring dwarfs and elves, to a Zorro/Lone Ranger (or Zarro and the Lone Stranger as they are known in Gundarland) crossover.

Bits of the stories are genuinely laugh out loud funny. There are moments where you see great insight into human nature. But on the whole the stories are competent and plain rather than exceptional reading. The use of language is solid but not brilliant. The occasional clunky line is offset by the occasional very well done image. The characters are likable but generic. Several of them are rather easily confused with each other because most of the main characters are somewhat young, unsure of themselves and their place in the world, adventurers looking to find their fortune and place.

Quense did come up with some unique details for setting his elves, dwarfs, and humans apart. His guild system requires adventurers to learn useful trades as well as how to bash in heads, so we run into a Warrior/Cooks looking to advance onto the Hero/Chef level. Likewise, the leader of his anti-pirate group is a caftan wearing dwarf looking to go legit by getting into women's bespoke fashion. Things like that are really cool, but we don't get much out of it because these things are mostly just mentioned as part of the background. Green leaves on the trees, babbling brook, Warrior/Cook armed with his trusty frying pan and razor sharp spatula ready to go off and save the princess. Tell me more about the guilds, tell me more about how he trained, write a novel about it, because there's a seed of a great story there, but... But it's just background.

Quense is good with voice. His characters speak differently from each other, which is a nice touch. The yuks speak in a sort of dumbed down mafiaesque English. The other main characters use different tone and vocabulary in a way that matches with their stations well. Unfortunately, voice is often the only easy way to distinguish one main character from the next.

Though I was kicked out of the feminist club a long, long time ago, I did notice his female characters, save one, are one dimensional, shallow, and annoying. Annoying in the sense of people you don't want to spend any time with, not badly written. Basically the reason there are women in this book is to be objects of love or lust. And, while I normally couldn't care less about the gender of the various characters I'm reading about, the fact that almost every woman in the entire book was a twit was grating.

At $3.99 the Kindle version is priced just about right. (less)

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Jul 02, 2010 Janice Clark rated it 4 of 5 stars

I don't know that I "learned" anything from the book, but I certainly had fun reading it and will probably read it many more times. If you like action-packed adventures with a satirical twist that will have you snickering, chuckling, and laughing out loud, this book is a good choice. Hank Quense delights in using his well-sharpened pen to let the hot air out of everyone, and sneaks in a few serious thoughts while you're distracted by the funny stuff.

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Jul 03, 2010 Lynnderella rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone

Recommended to Lynnderella by: A family member

Tales from Gundarland is a magical escape into a world of quirky and colorful characters. The author, Hank Quense, writes satirical spin-offs from traditional tales and cleverly blurs the archaic gender stereotypes. Romeo the Ballet-Dancer, Burga the Warrior-Cook,& Gerhilde the Independent Princess are just a few examples of the author's innovative and humorous characters. Tales from Gundarland is filled with lots of laughs, adventure, & wit. Don't miss out- Buy your ticket to Gundarland...more

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Oct 28, 2011 Penelope Rivers rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved these stories. They are filled with humor and some satire and all different. Two of them are very clever and funny Shakespearean spoofs. Romeo and Juliet is a howl with Romeo being a poor dwarf miner and Juliet a rich elf maiden. Merchant of Venison (not a mis-spelling) is a lot of fun also, especially the trial scene.

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Dec 22, 2011 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars

Charmingly funny retelling of some classics and new fairytales from the mind of Hank Quense. I read this to a group of 7 to 10 year olds who thought these were hysterical. Great read for story times and a nice way to spend a day in the sun!!!

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Nov 08, 2010 Megan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Very enjoyable - like many Goodreads books, it could use a little proofreading, but the stories are fun and go very quickly. I enjoyed the longer story with the pirate theme - I wish that had somehow been developed into a full novel incorporating some of the other tales, rather than the short story format. But perfect for passing the time during travel, waiting rooms, etc.

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About Hank Quense

Hank Quense writes humorous fantasy and science fiction along with an occasional article on fiction writing. He lives with Pat, his wife of many years, in Bergenfield, NJ. They have two daughters and five grandchildren.
Bergenfield is located 15 miles from midtown Manhattan. Midtown is frequently referred to as the entertainment center of the galaxy because so many extra-terrestrials go there on va...more

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